Chapter 37

Hiro settled in their humble abode, scratching the head of the dog who settled peacefully beside him on the sofa while Hana had gone into the kitchen to prepare tea. The brother looked around the room.

The house was spacious and cozy for two people and a dog. But anything more was inching towards being crowded. Natural sunlight shone through the kitchen windows, trickling into the living space where there was nothing but a glass coffee table and a sofa that sat across from a TV.

"Have you spoken to mother lately?" Hiro posed the question casually.

The sister raised an eyebrow before settling the tea tray down. Her lean fingers poured from the pot gracefully as she stayed silent, pondering the question. To most, it would have been a simple yes or no.

But to them, the question was a little more complex.

"No," Hana answered.

The brother shrugged.

Hana handed over the cup of tea over to her brother before settling on the floor beside the coffee table.

"What has she asked you to do this time?" Hana rolled her eyes. Hiro had always been closer to his mother than Hana had ever been.

"Nothing," Hiro shook his head and sighed. "Our family is in shambles and I wonder what it would be like if we were ever normal."

Hana blinked. "I don't think normal is something we could afford," she explained. "We never were meant to be… a family."

"It's just—" Hiro sighed. "It's hard to explain to people, sometimes alright?"

The sister sighed. "Who needs to know?"

The brother pursed his lips.

"What do your parents do? What was your childhood like? What is home like? These questions are so hard for us to answer."

Hana tilted her head. "My parents run a business. My childhood was fulfilling. Home is wherever I make it," she listed off the answers that she had always prepared. This was not new to Hana. Living abroad for years and making friends had always been difficult for her, given how often she moved. Everyone was an acquaintance, and never quite someone she could find herself keeping in touch with. These questions never fazed her because no one really cared to get to know her beyond the surface.

"Geez," Hiro sighed. "Of course you'd have answers for these. It's… hard to explain when you—" he cut himself off.

Hana crossed her arms and read the expression off her brother's face. She could tell that he was struggling to tell her something.

"It's hard to explain to someone who cares about you without sounding out of reach. What is it, Hiro? Is your boyfriend thinking you're being shady and secretive because you can't tell him that you didn't have a regular childhood, actual parents, or a life that would be considered normal?"

Hiro stared at his little sister. "I never told you I was dating anyone."

"You didn't have to," Hana smiled. "What's wrong with telling him the truth?"

"He doesn't… know," Hiro explained. "That you know, we're kind of… a big deal in Japan. I don't talk about the Host Club or anything. He wants to come visit and – I don't know. I can't bring him home. I'm trying to take it slow. I can't let him meet our parents. I can't show him what my childhood was like because… it never really existed. No family vacation photos to show, no toys that I used to play with... our mansion is empty."

Hana shrugged. "If he loves you – he won't think of you any less."
"Yeah but, he…"

"Has everything that you had always wanted to experience with a family… and you can't give him that?"

Hiro shook his head. "No, I cannot. His family is wonderful. I just didn't expect… us to be moving so fast. I thought I could ease him into this whole my-family-is-dysfunctional business but… it's harder than I thought."

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"He leaves me?"

"And why would they leave?" Hana prodded.

"Because it would be like they never really… knew me in the first place," Hiro sighed. "I'm not… lying. I'm just – it's complex okay?"

Hana shook her head. "We overcomplicate things to find excuses."

Hiro frowned. "What's the excuse to our complicated family affair, then?"

The sister leaned back on the couch, tucking her feet beneath her. She took a deep breath.

"Me," Hana answered. "I am the one who ruined it all. The picture perfect family."

Hiro furrowed his brows at his little sister. "Don't say that, Hana."

"I used to overcomplicate things but," the sister sighed. "It was all me. I was the one who broke your father's heart. I never… belonged to the family in his eyes. I became mother's… desperate project to save face. Her obsession with keeping a secret that—"

Hana stared at her own reflection in the tea cup. Her high pointed nose. Her large eyes. She was very much Eurasian. Some part of her was certainly not Japanese. Her hair was dyed black, though it should have been a dark brown to begin with. She blinked.

"Hana, we love you. This is a fact," Hiro tried to stop his sister from spiralling into the truth. Hana never shied away from discomfort. She was never afraid of digging into her own skin until it pried apart, bleeding all of the buried emotions that had been locked away for so long.

"You know what else is a fact? I'm only your half-sister. Look at my face, Hiro." Hana was nonchalant about the fact. Hiro stared into the large doe eyes of his little sister. All he could see was a look of being jaded over the years of emotional turmoil. Hana grew faster than he did, easily surpassing his role of being the older sibling.

Hana continued while looking him in the eye. "Everyone in the world can tell that we are eons from being true biological siblings. You didn't think I saw everyone whispering in their own circles about how I looked? I always heard snippets of the plastic surgery rumours and," Hana chuckled at naivety of her sixteen year old self. "I never understood where these groundless rumours came from. Mother never set the record straight about it. But it… it made so much more sense now."

She let the silence sit between her and Hiro, watching as Hiro recoiled into the other end of the couch. He had a look of shame.

"Do you think it was her fault, then? The cause of our family's dysfunctional dynamic?"

Hana closed her eyes.

"No."

Hiro looked up from his tea cup. "Why not?" It made sense to him.

The sister shook her head. "Our lives would be very different if I just… listened to mother. If I just stayed as a model, imagine the empire she would have grown using me. Imagine how… picture perfect our family would be."

Hiro disagreed. "Hana, the only difference is that our family would have the same underlying issues, just swept under the rug. You are still illegitimate. I am still, very much gay," he added. "Our parents have deeply rooted issues in their marriage that neither of two will acknowledge. Hana, it was never your job to pretend everything is alright."

His sister shook her head.

"But you'd have less of a problem bringing home your significant other, don't you think?" Hana murmured. "I robbed… you of that chance. I robbed the whole family of… a name worthy to carry because I was selfish."

"Oh," Hiro's eyes welled up in tears. "Hana, you are the best thing that happened to this family. I wouldn't trade you for the world. If I didn't have you, I don't know what would have happened to us. How I would have grown up. How I could have survived under the pressures of the upper class. Hana, you've done more than enough."

Hiro placed his cup down on the coffee table and reached over for his sister's hand. Her fingertips were cold, but her palm was lukewarm thanks to the tea that she held. Her slender fingers intertwined with his own.

"I tried," Hana murmured. "But I couldn't do it."

"And you didn't have to," Hiro softly consoled. "You didn't have to do a single thing, Hana. You're my only family."

Hana squeezed her brother's hands that enveloped her own. Even after all these years, they only had each other.

"I want him to meet you," the brother decided. "He'll like you."

"Okay," Hana agreed. "Whenever you're ready. I'm not going anywhere."

Hiro tilted his head. "I never thought you would settle in Japan, to be honest. To come back to all of this…"

Hana shook her head. "I didn't come back to play politics. I came back because this was home."

It took Hiro a minute to understand what Hana had meant. "Mori."

His sister smiled. "Yeah, him," her voice grew soft. Her eyes brightened up immediately at the thought of him. "He's… um, he's a good reason, yeah?"

Hiro laughed. "More than enough reason, Hana."

"Ojii-san too." The siblings took a moment to reflect on their loss. Hana leaned back on the ledge of the couch, sipping her tea quietly. The emptiness in her heart never quite left, but it became less of a burden to carry and more of a passing memory. Hiro sighed.

"Do you hate her?"

She couldn't feign ignorance about Hiro's original topic even if she wanted to. Hana didn't like to talk about her mother. But mostly because the woman had always been more of a distant relative that she never knew much about – a stranger, almost. There was not much to talk about.

"No," Hana decided. She couldn't find it in the deepest of her heart to hate. It was too much of an emotional burden to keep a grudge. As a teenager, Hana had nothing but resentment towards her mother. With age came perspective, and Hana was finally able to empathize and see the way society had shaped everyone to who they came to be.

"But you won't… talk to her?" Hiro had always been the mediator between the two women in his life. Between calming his feisty little sister and consoling their exasperated mother – he was tired of being the bridge between the two.

"There is nothing to talk about," Hana shrugged. "We're just… very different people. We never saw eye to eye on anything."

"She's still our mom," the older brother pointed out.

"Yeah, but when was she ever really a mother to us?" Hana scoffed.

Hiro's eyes faltered in disappointment. Hana caught onto the expression and relented.

"I understand her better now than I did before, but I do not think it goes both ways."

"Did you want her to apologize?" Hiro offered.

"A half-hearted apology for what? For not being a mom? Then she needs to apologize to you too," Hana rolled her eyes. "I don't care for an apology, Hiro. I just like my space. I like where I am, right now."

"And you think she'll ruin it?" Hiro hummed to himself.

"She's… overbearing," the sister murmured. "I'm not talking marriage prospects with her, that's for sure. I don't really care for what the newest trend in fashion is – I'm not even in the industry anymore. I mean, that's basically it. That's all we can talk about. She never took my education nor career seriously. I don't have many friends to talk about, either – and I don't care for her own circle of housewives."

Hiro blinked. "Hana, have you never thought about your dad?"

The sister paused. Her dad. Strange word that never quite rolled off her tongue comfortably.

She hadn't really thought too much about it, especially with all that was on her plate over the past few years. Between school, juggling jobs and the family business, and dealing with Ojii-san – Hana's lineage never became something she had the time to contemplate.

"I like where I am right now," Hana repeated.

"Are you afraid of knowing?" he suggested.

"Do you know?" the sister asked, curious. She deflected the question successfully.

Hiro shook his head. "It's none of my business, to be honest. You're still my sister no matter what happens."

"Then there's that," Hana pointed out. "Does it matter who my dad is? I'm not calling up our mother to dig up skeletons in the closet, Hiro."

"Do you ever wonder, though?" Hiro pressed.

"Not really," Hana blinked. "Should I be wondering? Does it matter where I came from? Who I came from? Would it change anything I have now, Hiro?"

Hana had a point. Hiro shook his head, "You're right."

"Do you think she'd tell me? As if she'd want to talk about that," Hana rolled her eyes. "Whoever they are – we're strangers," she concluded.

Hiro sighed. "Whoever they are, they must have been damn good looking because you hit the jackpot with those genes."

"Hence, the modelling a decade ago," Hana rolled her eyes. It was a natural inclination to go into the business of looking pretty.

"It doesn't help that when I show pictures of you to my friends, they have no problem telling me how hot you are. It's weird, y'know? Like, yeah my sister is hot but, what about me?"

Hana laughed. "You're rich and famous. You've pretty much also hit the jackpot."

"Rich, but famous only in Japan," Hiro muttered. "Americans have no clue who I am."

"Which is good," Hana enjoyed the anonymity that she had overseas. No one cared about the Sawada name unless they looked up the Sawada Corporation.

"So, that's a no-go on reaching out to Mother?" Hiro went back to the original topic.

Hana narrowed her eyes. "Honestly Hiro, what does she want?" She knew better than to assume Hiro was just asking her about their mother out of his own curiosity. His brother had always been on the good side of their mother.

Hiro shrugged. "I don't know. Family in shambles, remember? Just wanted to know if we could ever…"

Hana sighed. "I don't want to play happy families anymore, Hiro."

"Yeah, alright. I get it."

Mori came home to a busy kitchen. He settled himself down, putting his briefcase in the study and changed out of his regular dress shirt and blazer. His regular basketball shorts and tank top was his usual outfit that was fit for home.

Home.

Her hair was tied in a ponytail, swaying with every step she took and every time she turned. Hana heard him come home, but was still startled by the sudden embrace that came up behind her. He snuck a kiss to her temple and inhaled the scent of her hair. Jasmine. She was his home.

Hana relaxed eventually, letting him hold onto her while she sautéed the vegetables.

"Smells good," he mumbled.

Hana turned and smiled up at him, not sure if he was referring to her hair or the food that she was making.

"Can you fill the bowls with rice?"

He nodded and let go of her, obediently following her instructions. He set the table just as she finished with the last dish. They ate quietly. Hana could tell he had a long day without having to ask. The way he held onto her as soon as he came home was enough indication that he just wanted to sit back, pet their dog Kaina, and maybe watch the news with her on the couch.

Hana made the move to clean up the dishes but was stopped by Mori.

"Let me," his deep voice rumbled.

"I'll take out Kaina for a walk then?" Hana smiled. He nodded before she kissed him goodbye on the cheek. "I'll be back in half an hour or so!" Kaina ran to the door and Hana ran after the dog quickly.

Hana came home to Mori on the couch with his reading glasses, probably sifting through another essay. Takashi heard Hana take off the leash from Kaina and heard the paws excitedly pace towards the kitchen. The dog was thirsty.

Kaina settled on the floor beside the couch where Mori was after taking a drink. The dog always made sure to split her time between the two. Takashi easily scratched the back of Kaina's ears while keeping his eyes on the paper. Hana changed into her own pair of sweats before tapping his legs to move so she could sit on the couch. Mori was sprawled across the length of the furniture, his legs dangling over the armrest because he was so tall.

"Take a break, Takashi," Hana chided. "You've had a long day. I'm sure these essays can wait."

Mori made a noise of affirmation. Hm. I guess.

"It's a job offer," Takashi corrected, putting away his pen and papers back into the briefcase.

"An offer?" Hana's eyes widened. "That's amazing!"

He gave a soft smile when he saw how excited she became.

"What's wrong?" she could tell that he was holding back.

"It's at the University of Kyoto."

She blinked. "Alright." Hana brushed it off as it wasn't a big deal.
"Alright?" Takashi tilted his head at her.

"Well, it's a top ranked university in Japan – were you expecting Toudai to give you an offer instead?"

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly and sighed.

"Yeah," he murmured. Takashi had been rooted to Tokyo all his life, after all. It just made more sense for him to stay and of course, Hana was here. She had business meetings across the city, though her job was much more flexible and non-traditional.

"Toudai is a prestigious university," Hana nodded. "But Kyoto is not far off, Takashi. It's a great opportunity."

She was right. But it didn't sit right with him. Hana could tell that he wasn't entirely sold by the offer.

"You should take it," Hana encouraged with a bright grin on her face. Takashi had always wanted to be a professor, and to be employed right after getting his doctorate was no easy feat. "I think it'll be a great opportunity."

"But," he frowned. "What about you?"

Hana tilted her head in confusion. "What about me?"

"You have the floral shop here. You have business dealings in Tokyo. There's nothing for you in Kyoto," he looked down at his hands.

Hana diverted her gaze and intertwined her fingers with his. She gave his hand a squeeze to reassure him. "You're in Kyoto. I can move. We can move," she corrected. "Don't you worry about me. Unless you don't want me to come with you."

His heart fluttered. His heart skipped a beat every day when looking at her, but today she was especially beautiful – regardless of the fact that she was in sweatpants and one of his hoodies. The way she looked at this obstacle as no challenge at all, ready to take on whatever it took to be with him. It was a wonderful feeling to know that she was committed to him – wherever he would be in the world.

"I do," he cleared his throat. He wasn't sure what to say to express his relief. His happiness. His excitement. Everything about her, everything to do with her had him elated.

"Good. Then it's settled. There shouldn't be anything stopping you, Takashi. Do what you need to to."

What would he do without her?

He reached over and looked into her eyes. She looked back at him, waiting for his response. Was she even real? She was still smiling up at him when he kissed her.

Thank you.

She kissed back with the same intensity, pulling him closer to her in his embrace. He didn't have to say a word for her to know what he meant.

It was a gorgeous spring day with graduates of all faculties and degrees.

A family affair. Honey, Chika, and Satoshi sat beside Hana, while the elders sat in the row above to watch the only Morinozuka to receive a doctorate degree. The whole family beamed up to the gentle giant as he walked across the stage in his gown, firmly shaking the hand of the Dean before the scroll was handed over.

Hana kept the bouquet of flowers that she put together by her side. Honey commented that it was very Takashi – the deep hues of blue and white. It was nothing too flashy, nor too heavy. Hana lingered behind the family members who congratulated the new doctorate, watching as Honey latched onto Mori's legs and Satoshi patting his big brother on the shoulder after the elders had gotten their time. Chiaki came as well, lingering around Honey and congratulated his cousin.

Takashi looked around for her, knowing that she must have been around. He was surrounded by his family members: his aunts and uncles, along with his cousins, and great grandparents that he hadn't seen in years.

"Go on," Takashi's mother quietly encouraged. She had been watching the young woman look up at her son for the past hour, beaming with delight and pride. Hana looked towards the voice that startled her.

"Ah," Hana quickly bowed out of respect and apologized for not noticing her presence.

"No need for that, Hana," the mother patted the woman gently on the back. "Go on."

Hana tapped Takashi's shoulder from behind and handed off the small bouquet to him wordlessly. All she could do was smile and he beamed back with a goofy grin, accepting her gift. Flowers had always been something special between them. The pair stood, staring at each other for a minute before the Morinozuka matriarch called out.

"Let me get a picture of all of you."

Honey leaned onto his large cousin while Satoshi stood beside Hana. Mori's hands were full with his diploma and the bouquet, while Hana latched onto Takashi's arm and smiled at the camera phone.

"Oi, take one with me too," the grandfather huddled in behind Honey.

Hana smiled and let go of Takashi. "Morinozuka-san, you should be a photo with your son," she offered and reached out for her phone. His mother smiled graciously to the young woman. Hana took a few photos and sent them over promptly before making a move to cast herself back in the shadows of the family.

Takashi held his diploma and bouquet in one of his arms so he could free the other. He reached for Hana's hand to pull her back. He sensed her discomfort in feeling intrusive when she lingered behind, trying to get out of everyone's way. Takashi wanted her to be present with him. She was a part of the family, whether she realized it or not.

His grip was firm on her hand and Hana was quickly pulled over to his side, in the centre of attention. He beamed at her.

Stay here with me.

Hana nodded to him, understanding what he meant. Hana was finally pulled into the centre of attention, with all the family members that had gathered around the young couple. The Morinozuka and Haninozuka clan eventually got bored of the quiet nature and began curiously questioning the Sawada instead.

"What do you do?"

Hana smiled. "I'm a florist." And venture capitalist. But the latter half wasn't important.

The family members nodded. Honey went on into talking about his company and how Hana was helping out.

"So you're an investor?"

Hana gave a slight shrug and brushed off the title. "A silent partner to Honey, if you'd prefer."

The family nodded in approval. Hana squeezed Mori's hand, looking up at him.

I hope they like me.

He grinned and nodded. Of course.

"How long have you been together?"

Hana looked up at Mori for an answer. He only tilted his head at her.

I don't know.

Not sure, either.

"Um," Hana stuttered. "A while, I guess."

"Oi, whaddya mean a while?" The grandfather grumbled. He placed bets on this with Hana's grandfather so he would know. "It's been years! The kid's been in love with her since the end of high school."

"Has it really been that long, Takashi?" Honey gasped. How did he not notice this about his cousin? They were attached at the hip until the end of high school, after all. Satoshi and Chika laughed to themselves.

Takashi cleared his throat, his face turning a shade of pink. Hana only laughed and latched closer to his arm.

"That's good to hear," she whispered. "Because I'd probably say I was also infatuated with you, even if I didn't realize the feelings were romantic at the time."

Takashi took a deep breath. He didn't think that he would be this embarrassed. But oddly enough, she knew just the right thing to say to make him feel less anxious about the teasing.

"You two look very nice together." Comments were made by his cousins, and his aunts and uncles. All nodded approvingly at the young woman, who Takashi was obviously blinded by. Sometimes it felt like all he could see was her. And it was true – Takashi saw no one else but her when she was by his side. She gave him butterflies. She made him smile. She supported him in ways that he hadn't realized he needed.

I love you.

She smiled at him.

"Hm?"

"I love you," he whispered, as if it was their little secret.

It must have been the worst kept secret in the world.

She fit the checklist.

Smart, successful, humble, kind, independent, and fiercely loyal. Everything you could have asked for in a daughter-in-law. Takashi's grandfather was no easy man to win over, and it certainly was something to take note of when he held Hana in such high regard. The mother observed the woman carefully.

"Ah, Morinozuka-san," the young woman apologized and took the moving box away from the elder. "You shouldn't have to help us move – I have it under control," Hana smiled. "I'm used to moving."

"I was just dropping by," Takashi's mother brushed off. Mori was taking care of some things at the university, leaving Hana to finish up the unloading of the moving truck. They didn't seem to have much. They would have to buy their own furniture at their own place in Kyoto as the rented home came with furniture that they could not take along with them.

"Takashi mentioned that you were looking to have lunch with us," Hana was expecting her to come. Just not at this hour. She was hoping that she would be able to clean herself up a bit. She was certainly in no shape to go out for a formal meal.

"Yes. I was curious to see the property that you picked out," Morinozuka-san added. Of course she would be curious – she was in the business of real-estate after all.

"We shouldn't keep you for too long," Hana thought out loud. "That way your train back to Tokyo won't run too late."

"Eager for me to leave, hm," the mother smiled.

"Oh my goodness, no," the young woman took back the words immediately. "I was just—"

"—Oh Hana, I understand. You're very considerate. I was just teasing."

Hana exhaled. She would hate to leave a bad impression on the elder. She had such high respect for the Morinozuka clan; it had been ingrained into her since she was a child. Hana led the woman into their new home in Kyoto.

It was in a quiet neighbourhood, a perfect 15 minutes to the subway station by walking that had a direct line to Takashi's university. There was space for a family of 4 in this home, but it was mostly for the dog to be able to wander and not feel too trapped by the enclosure. Mori's mother had looked up the market prices in the neighbourhood and it was certainly not for the average 25 year old whose income was at an entry-level academic. Takashi's salary could hardly afford the mortgage on this place.

"Hana, if you don't mind me asking – how are you affording this place?"

The young woman smiled. "I make… good investments," she explained. "I own a percentage in a few start-ups. Of course, I'm also a partner to Honey's company. I day trade when I'm not being a florist. And… I still have money left over from my modelling days – though most of that was used to pay off my tuition for school and the excess was used to incur more profit, to be honest."

She was smart with her finances.

"None of this is… from your parents at all?" the mother was curious.

Hana shook her head and left it at that. Hana unpacked the kettle from a moving box and grabbed the tin of tea. It was the least she could do for the guest in their home. Their empty home that needed to be furnished.

"Do your parents know what you are doing? It's quite impressive, Hana – managing your own finances."

Hana leaned against the kitchen counter and shook her head again. "They're… pretty hands-off," was the best way Hana could describe it without delving too deep into the topic.

"Now that you are no longer the heiress, I would imagine that there would be some… issues at hand about the family business, no?"

"A bridge to cross when the time comes," Hana curtly answered as she poured the tea gracefully without making eye contact.

"Are you not close with your parents, Hana?" the mother blatantly asked, graciously moving the mug of tea towards herself.

"No, I am not," the young woman admitted. "I assume you have heard rumours, then."

The mother nodded. "The upper class is…"
"Not a friendly place," Hana answered for her. "I don't intend on associating myself with them, if I am able to."

"Do you know what has been said about you?" the mother was curious.
"No," she answered honestly. "Well, nothing but the usual. Plastic surgery rumours or illegitimacy? Always a hot topic. Though I suppose the latter is what most people have come to the conclusion to, thanks to my resignation from the company." Hana was very calm about the topic – the Morinozuka matriarch was expecting her to be defensive.

"Well?"

Hana looked up from her mug of tea and took a sip. "What would you like to know?"

"Address the rumours, if you will."

"If it isn't obvious from my face – yes, I'm most obviously illegitimate, but you must have known this from Takashi's grandfather by now."

Hana was respectful, calm, and collected. She was never afraid to fight back, brushing off the truth with ease and quickly recovered by diverting the topic to Takashi's grandfather. As if it were a reminder – she already had the respect of the high elder of the family, would there be any difference now if his mother felt opposed to her lineage?

Truth be told, Takashi's mother did not care for her lineage. The elder woman was more curious to seeing Hana acting under pressure, a test of character to see if she were truly fit her own son. The young woman was so seemingly perfect on all levels that it made her curious to see what flaws she held.

"Do you know?"

Hana blinked. "Of…"

"Your father?"
"No," Hana shrugged. "Does it matter?"

Takashi's mother watched Hana sip her tea nonchalantly. She had already thought about these topics. Nothing would faze her, not at this point.

"What about children?"

"Hm?" the young woman put down her cup.

"Do you think of having children?"

Hana blinked.

"No," she answered honestly. "I don't think I would be fit to be a good mother."

There was a phase of silence, one that was only filled with the pouring of more water from the kettle and letting the tea leaves steep in the pot.

"And why not, Hana? You seem wise beyond your years. You have a good career and financial stability. The time to have children is now, while your body is still able. I am sure we would all like to see grandchildren someday – and great grandchildren for Takashi's grandfather. It is important to continue tradition."

Hana gave a tense smile.

"I agree. Tradition is important," her voice turned soft. She stared directly into the eyes of Takashi's mother, unwilling to concede. "But it will not shape how I choose to live my life. I respect tradition and its values. But I choose when and how to abide by it."

"And when may that be, Hana?"

"Not now," was all Hana could say for certain. "I do not want to conceive a life without… purpose."

"What greater purpose is there than to continue the Morinozuka lineage?"

"What greater purpose was there to conceive me?" Hana shot back. "An afterthought, a shameful mistake that my mother had to overcompensate for throughout my childhood. I do not intend on having children by accident, or to abide by a tradition. Even more so – I do not intend on having children."

"No children at all?" the mother pressed, her expression neutral.

Hana sighed.

"I am in no shape to be a parent, so no." Hana took a long gulp of tea, in hopes that she wouldn't snap at the elder any more than she already had.

Takashi's mother nodded.

"You are not like the others," his mother commented. Not from the other young women she met – the rich daughters of heirs that she met on occasion when selling properties. Mostly nice lofts overlooking the city of Tokyo, in the midst of the Ginza district. Their hair was dyed a shade of blonde, nails done to perfection, and flashy outfits that could easily pick them apart from the crowd. Hana was none of that.

"I have always wondered about you. How you were so humble. Quiet in your actions, prim and proper to the public – raised as though you were fit to be an heiress. But instead you are grounded to your roots. Strong in your willpower and your morals… I can respect that, Hana."

The woman blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"Hm?" the woman took a sip of the tea.

"I just… wasn't expecting that. Especially when the conversation turned… rather sour by my defensive behaviour."

Mori's mother smiled to herself. "I apologize. I knew that your parents were a sensitive topic. Takashi has already told me about your relationship with them. I was hoping to… see another side of you, if you will. One that isn't as prim nor proper as you were taught to be."

"But… why?"

The mother grinned. "Because we're family. You shouldn't hold up your walls as you do with the public, Hana. I'd like to see you for who you are."

"But," Hana sputtered. "Grandchildren… and…"

"Ah," the mother laughed. "Yes. A popular topic among many women my age… the Morinozuka and Haninozuka clan were bound by tradition for many generations but, times have changed. I want happiness for my son – and you seem to give him that."

Hana blinked. Was it all just a test of character?

"I'm glad you are honest with your thoughts with me, Hana." The mother always noted how she walked on eggshells around the family – of course she would, as she was raised with manners and discipline. But that was not necessary.

Hana wondered what else Mori had said about her to his mother.

"You fit the checklist for any mother looking for a potential daughter-in-law. If I had any more friends, I would be gushing to them like they do with their own in-laws."

"Hm," Hana scoffed. "I come with quite a bit of… emotional baggage, as you know."

"Well, that's just human," the Morinozuka smiled. "You aren't meant to be perfect, Hana. But you seem to fit perfectly well for Takashi. I am glad he found you. Please do not feel like you are an outsider in this family."

Hana noted that Takashi had mentioned this before, and likely told his mother about his feelings. His mother easily picked up on her behaviour, a defense mechanism that Hana was used to falling back on. The entire family was overly observant.

"It's um, it's a habit," Hana sheepishly explained. "Sorry."

"Don't be," the mother reached over to place her hand over Hana's.

"Not used to having a large family… it was always me and my brother. And of course, our grandfather."

Mori's mother nodded in understanding. Takashi had told her that Hiro was his friend from high school. Hana was the sister of Hiro. It was no surprise that their circles overlapped.

"What is your brother like?"

She smiled. Hana always thought fondly of her brother.

"He's… joyful. More upbeat than I am. Very loving. Protective, like any older sibling. He's very… not me," Hana laughed. "But we always got along well, even as kids. We're still quite close."

"Ah yes," the mother thought of the bond between Takashi and Honey. They grew up together, and ended up growing apart because they each grew into their own lives – but nonetheless, the cousins were always quite close despite being vastly different from one another. "It's good that you weren't alone, then."

Hana nodded and agreed softly. "Yeah, not entirely alone."

"You spent many years overseas, correct?"

"Mmhm," Hana nodded. "For work, and then for school. And… now I'm back."

"How do you feel coming back?"

"I used to resent being in this country," she truthfully answered. "It was suffocating. There was no anonymity that I could enjoy, like I did overseas. Everyone knew me, or at least, of me because of Hiro's success. I had responsibilities here that I could not ignore – so I came back to fulfill my duties."

"Honourable," the elder commented.

"Hardly," Hana disagreed. "It was… the right thing to do to keep face. But my heart was not in it to keep up the Sawada name. Especially when I knew I wasn't the true heir. Not an ounce of my blood was pure."

"Does that bother you, Hana?"

"My illegitimacy?" the young woman paused. "It bothers me because it is a constant reminder that I do not belong anywhere. Not quite part of the Sawadas. Not quite part of any family." Hana did not like talking about family. It was easy for her to avoid overseas, with answers that she had already curated for simple questions. But not like this.

"You are a part of ours," the mother reminded. "It would be silly to think about keeping the bloodlines pure, given how the Morinozukas and Haninozukas have come together."

Hana let the words sink in.

"Thank you. I appreciate it. I just um, I might need time to… settle. Not used to this," Hana reminded. "Not used to having a mother, really."

The elder raised an eyebrow.

"What is she like?"

Hana blinked.

"I don't know what to say to that."

"Why so?"

"Because my only memories of her have been bitter and I would hope that she is… not just what I see her as. My brother is closer to our mother than I am, and always has been. I tolerate her – but only from afar."

"Hm, interesting," the mother tilted her head.

"Does that change your opinion of me?" Hana chuckled to herself. "Perhaps, not the most ideal daughter-in-law as you had originally hoped for…"

"Nonsense," the Morinozuka reassured. "I don't think any less of you. I'm sorry you never got the mother that you deserved. I can see why you would have qualms about being a parent."

Hana nodded. "Yeah. But thank you. I… appreciate this discussion – to speak openly."

"Always," the woman smiled. "Your mother still loves you – even if she doesn't understand you."

Hana poured herself more tea and she exhaled.

"I know."

"I suppose the feelings are not reciprocated," the Morinozuka noted. "You look guilty for that."

"I am," Hana bluntly admitted. "It feels… wrong that I don't love my mother. But it is what it is, I suppose."

"It's understandable," Takashi's mother murmured. "For a long time, I wondered if my sons loved me as much as I loved them. Especially Takashi, who hardly ever spoke as a child. I brought him to a speech therapist once. Turns out he was able to speak just fine, he just chose not to."

Hana laughed. "Sounds about right."

"But children are their own beings. We did not create life to be owed back. They are happy. They are self-sufficient. And they are good people," Takashi's mother added. "That is all I can ask for."

Hana nodded.

"Your mother—"
"She didn't parent me," Hana interjected. "My grandfather did. He raised me."

Mori's mother nodded in understanding. "I see. Well, your grandfather raised you well."

"He did," she agreed. "I miss him." Her voice turned quiet.

"He'd be happy to see you doing well." Hana felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. Somehow, a mother's reassurance was more comforting than she imagined it to be.

"Yeah, I think so too," the granddaughter murmured. "Probably would be annoyed that I'm not married to Takashi yet, I guess."

The mother laughed. "Yes, why hasn't that happened?"

Hana shrugged. "Doesn't seem like a necessary step to either of us. We're happy where we are."

"Hm," the mother nodded. "Yes." She could see that the pair were happy – like newlyweds, just without the legal title. They were wonderful to watch. How her son was enamoured by her, and she could see why. The mother slowly fell in love with Hana, with a longing to mother her as much as she did for her son.

"Does that bother you, Morinozuka-san?" Hana softly asked.

The mother thought about it, looking at the expression of her face. It looked like the young woman would be willing to marry, but only to satisfy the elders out of respect. The Morinozuka matriarch was amused at the proposition, but it was not necessary.

"Well, no. I wouldn't want to pressure any of you to get married for the sake of pleasing us. I want my son to be happy – and he is already there. What else can I ask for?"

"Grandchildren," Hana pointed out with a small grin.
"Yes," the mother chuckled. "The lineage is not so much of a big issue as it was a few generations ago. Times have changed, Hana."

Hana nodded in relief. "I can't guarantee children. Or… marriage. Not yet. I just… I want to enjoy the present. I spent far too much of my life trying to plan ahead and each time, something falls out of place. I haven't been happy in a long time… and I just want to take one step at a time."

"That's alright," the mother smiled. "Just guarantee my son's happiness."

The young woman beamed.

"I'll try my best," she assured earnestly.

"You don't even have to try," the mother laughed. "Takashi… I never thought to see my son like this."

"Like what?"

"Absolutely smitten."

Hana blinked. "Well, I mean, aren't I the same?"
"Well, yes but – the boy wears his heart on his sleeve around you. Around anyone else? You cannot even guess what he's thinking in that mind of his."

The pair laughed. It was true whether Hana realized it or not.

A/N: Wrapping up some loose ends here... the story isn't over quite yet, but hopefully it doesn't bore you all too much. Apologies for the sporadic updates... I have nothing but excuses (i.e. a busy term of uni... and a busy summer ahead as I begin my undergraduate thesis). But nonetheless, I'm posting this after finishing all my finals. As usual, your thoughts are much appreciated.