AN: Woo, last week was a doozy huh? Well, strap in for this one ladies and gents. BTW: the song in this chapter is 'Once' by Maren Morris. Another relevant song that I listened to on repeat while writing this chapter, 'Must Get Out' by Maroon 5 from their BEST album, Songs About Jane (it WAS their best one, fight me). Just some music to help set the mood. I guess they don't have many song fics on here anymore, huh? God, I'm old.
Read on lovelies!
Everything was kind of muffled as I felt myself rise back into consciousness. My dreams had been full of weird images. Strange places and faces I'd never seen before. I tried to ground myself, pulling out of those dreams slowly. Opening my eyes I knew immediately I was in some kind of hospital and groaned accordingly.
"Charlotte? What's wrong?" Bruce came into my line of vision, holding a chart and wearing a lab coat.
"I hate hospitals," I murmured, my voice hoarse from disuse. Bruce chuckled and nodded, crossing off something on the clipboard.
"Then it's a good thing that you aren't in one. We're on the Tower's medical floor," he answered, walking around the bed to check the machines I seemed to be hooked up to.
"Oh thank God. Tony has a medical floor? Is there anything this tower doesn't have?" I asked, wondering idly what I was doing there.
"A food court I think. Don't quote me on that though," Bruce quipped.
"What happened? Where's Steve?"
"Steve's fine, he's just helping with the interrogation. He should be down in a second. He wouldn't let anyone else at the men that took you."
"Took me? What are you talking about?"
"You don't remember?" I shook my head. Bruce's brow furrowed and he made a note before taking a seat on the edge of my bed. "Someone attacked the party. They found you on the server level and took you. The team went after them and you and Steve escaped. We're still trying to figure out exactly who they are, but Nat thinks…" His voice faded out as I took in the news. Bruce fiddled with my IV as he spoke, and a sharp stabbing pain sent me back into my memories.
Steve shouting in pain. Anger, so much anger, a blue haze, heat on my hands and wrists and a blast of energy. The room covered in bodies. Steve looking at me with fear in his eyes.
"Charlotte? Charlotte?" Bruce pushed and I tried to focus on him over the rising bile in my throat.
"I remember. Oh my God, what did I do?"
"Charlotte, it's alright, but you need to calm down, your stats are going through the roof," he stood and went over to the machines as they began beeping rapidly.
"What's wrong with me?" I looked down at my hands and noticed blue sparks beginning to radiate from my fingertips. What the hell? My panic spiked and a spark leapt from my hands to the bed.
"Bruce?! What's wrong with me?" I cried, my voice raising hysterically.
"Charlotte, you need to calm down. We're going to figure out what's going on, I promise you." Bruce came closer, hands up, and obviously worried. My panic rose until I was finding it hard to catch a breath. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the strange tingling in my arms and stop it, but when I opened them again, found that the sparking had just gotten worse, developing into two small spheres beginning to encircle my hands.
"Charlotte!" Bruce reached out to me with one hand hesitantly.
"Don't touch me!" I managed a second before he made contact, the shock from my hand knocking him back into the wall.
"Oh God! Bruce!" I screamed, pulling myself upright. Bruce had hit the wall but he was moving, starting to get up. I rushed over to him to see if he was alright only to notice that he was growing, the lab coat ripping in half down his back.
"Miss Samuels, I suggest you leave the room immediately," came JARVIS's usually calm voice, now tinged with urgency. I didn't need to be told twice. My hands were still sparking, and I ripped off the IV with a grunt, separating myself from the machines that were still going insane. I ran out of the room, sparing a glance back at Bruce, growing now to nearly twice his size and a sickly shade of grey-green.
"I'm so sorry Bruce," I whispered before running out the door. The long hallway was thankfully empty, and lead straight back to the elevators on the other end. I had to get out, had to get away from everyone. My hands were still sparking and panic kept a firm grip on my throat. The elevator doors opened and Thor, Steve and Natasha strode in. Relief worked through me at the sight of Steve, but the memory of his fear filled gaze erased it. I clenched my fists reflexively, continuing to run.
"Charlotte!" he cried out. A roar echoed through the hallway and Natasha and Thor barreled down the hallway. Steve paused by me, blocking my way. I crossed my arms tightly, anchoring my hands around my ribcage, and trying desperately to hide my hands.
"Charlotte?" Steve looked at me, concern written all over his face. He reached out to me, but I shrank back, terrified at what my touch could do.
"No, don't touch me! It's not safe," I cried, tears beginning to well up and blur my vision.
"What do you mean? Charlotte-" Steve began, but I cut him off, twisting around him.
"No Steve, go. Help them. Bruce needs you," I choked out. Another roar came from the room down the hall and Steve looked back, obviously torn. Taking advantage of the distraction, I turned and sprinted down the hallway, the doors of the elevator closing behind me.
"Where to, Miss?" JARVIS asked, sadness coloring his tone.
"The lobby JARVIS. Just get me out of here." I managed, before my tears took over. I had to get out. I couldn't be around people, not when even Steve was afraid of me. Not when I'd set off Bruce in the Tower. Panic pushed me, finding clarity in chaos. I would get out. Get out of the city, get away from everyone until whatever was happening to me stopped.
The door opened to the lobby and I froze. The lobby was empty, but I couldn't make myself leave. I'd left my wallet, my phone, my clothes, everything but the thin clinical scrubs someone had dressed me in before I woke up. How was I going to get home?
"Excuse me Miss Samuels, but I've arranged a driver in the garage for your privacy. He will be able to take you back to your apartment if you would prefer." I sagged in relief and nodded as the doors closed.
"Thank you, JARVIS. That would probably be best. Did Tony tell you to do this?" I asked.
"No Miss. I have some predictive behavioral software that I have been looking to try. This situation seemed to fit properly." I nodded in disbelief. "I also wanted to thank you for your actions on Friday evening. Without you, I would have stayed offline until Sir had a chance to renew me. I fear that if you hadn't he would never have gotten the chance." He finished, his voice growing softer.
"Of course JARVIS. I'm just glad I didn't mess you up," I responded as the doors opened. I hesitated again, taking in the sleek black car waiting for me. "Please don't tell Steve where I went, no matter what."
"Fortunately Miss Samuels, my security protocols forbid me from telling anyone about this. Your secret is safe with me." He paused shortly before continuing, "Might I inquire as to when you will return to the Tower?" his question broke my heart, bringing tears to my eyes once again.
"I don't know," I murmured, "Goodbye J."
"Goodbye Miss Samuels," I walked out and got into the waiting car, giving the driver my address and watching the New York traffic speed by. Streaking in through the door past my clearly exasperated neighbor and grabbing the spare key under the faulty light switch, I rushed into my apartment. Once inside, I took anything I could, pulling clothes, cash that I had stashed all over and anything I could need. I locked up, leaving the extra key behind for Steph and made my way to Grand Central Station, hopping on the next bus to anywhere in upstate New York, picking up a cheap phone at one of the many kiosks in the station.
"Hello?" came Steph's cheerful voice over the line, almost sending me into tears again.
"Steph? It's Charlotte,"
"What's wrong?" Her voice came back urgent and concerned now. She could read me like a book, and this was going to be very difficult.
"Nothing, I'm just getting away for a bit. You know."
"Again? Oh, Charlie what happened? Does this have to do with Steve? I'll kill him. I don't care if he's a super soldier, I'll kick his star spangled ass." I choked out a laugh.
"No Charlotte, it's not Steve. None of this is his fault. You can't harass him about it okay?" I said. She paused and I heard her give a short huff of breath in frustration.
"Fine. What do you need?"
"The apartments all paid up until June. I prepaid a few months back when I had that freelance job I burned out of. I just need you to take Penny and maybe check in every once in awhile, water the plants," I fiddled with the zipper on my hoodie, turning the pull sideways with a click.
"Okay. I can do that. I guess this means you won't be here for Christmas huh?" she asked sullenly. I cursed under my breath. Every year Steph and I traveled to her parent's house in Maine for Christmas. They were the closest thing I'd ever had to family, and my heart ached at the idea of not being able to see them this year. My mind wondered if I'd ever see them again. Stifling the thought I focused back on the phone call.
"No, probably not. I'll keep you updated, okay?" I responded. I heard her sigh heavily over the phone.
"Fine. Please do. And I'm guessing that you're not going to tell me where you're going?"
"No, but I'll let you know when I get there safe," I offered.
"I'll take what I can get. Be safe okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you C."
"I love you too S."
I hung up the phone as tears began falling in a steady and silent stream. Plugging my headphones, I leaned my head against the frosted window, watching the city melt into suburbs and woods. The train stopped finally in Utica and I got off, figuring this would be far enough and small enough. Grabbing a cab and lead by a tourism pamphlet from the train station, I booked a room at a small, deserted motel. The furnishings were all some shade of brown, generic and plain as could be, but it would do. I was in a corner room, and the motel itself was empty because of the season, so I was as close as I was going to get to being alone. Setting down my bag I walked over to the bathroom, ready for a shower and an attempt at sleep.
Turning, I locked eyes with myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess, released from the beanie I'd shoved over it before leaving the apartment. It was matted in the back, still flaky with blood. My lip had been split and a large bruise bloomed over the left side of my face. I looked pale and fragile, my eyes somehow sunken but puffy at the same time. It was only Sunday. I'd been out for two days, but I felt as if I hadn't slept in a month.
Darling, please, we were too gone to stay
Couldn't get through the night, so we had to call it a day
The words came out; they couldn't be erased
Saw the pain in your eyes, and I knew everything had changed
This time last week I was cuddled in Steve's arms. The week before that, I was with the people who would become my newest friends, people who now probably hated me.
I'm a traitor, I'm the cause
I'm the breaker of your heart
I ain't saying what you want
My hands sparked softly and I drew them tightly around myself. Why was this happening? Why couldn't I control this? What was wrong with me? I couldn't risk myself around anyone until I figured it out. Steve's face flashed before my eyes and a sob escaped my throat before I could choke it back.
But baby, please, know that if
Somehow we make it alive
And both get out on the other side
Oh, this might be asking a lot
When it's all said and done, don't forget that you loved me once
Would I ever see him again? Would he want to even see me again after everything that had happened? And I had no idea how much damage I'd caused. I'd hurt Bruce, probably destroyed a decent section of Tony's medical floor and scared one of the most fearless men I'd ever met. In the span of an hour, I had ruined everything.
It's been months, I'm still seeing signs of you,
Things that you wanted me to read, shit you wanted me to do
If I'm left in the deepest part of your mind, it's cool
Oh, it's cool
It was safer for me to stay here, to just get away. A small voice in the back of my mind told me to deal with my problems like an adult, but a louder one told me to just say goodbye to it all. No matter what, there was no way I could go back to the way things had been. My heart ached painfully, the knots in my stomach gnawing deep. I slumped against the wall, arms wrapped tightly around myself.
Yeah, it hurts, I agree
You're still the first part of me
I know I set you free
But baby, please, know that if
Somehow we make it alive
And both get out on the other side
Oh, this might be asking a lot
When it's all said and done, don't forget that you loved me once
This shouldn't hurt this much, but underneath the still buzzing sheen of panic and anxiety pulsed a deep hurt I'd never felt before. It had only been two weeks. Two wonderful weeks of this amazing universe that I had no idea existed. A universe of being loved and protected, being cherished and enjoyed. A universe where I didn't have to hide my intelligence or my quirks. Where I had someone who loved me anyway. My breath hitched in my chest as that universe faded from my own personal reality. I slid down the wall, my sobs ramping up in intensity, a pair of fearful blue eyes searing painfully into my soul before everything else seemed to fade away.
Somehow we make it alive
And both get out on the other side
Oh, this might be asking a lot
When it's all said and done, don't forget that you loved me once
I know this might be asking a lot
When it's all said and done, don't forget that you loved me once