I still don't own Glee. Which is too sad, really.

Chapter 7

Later in the evening, Rachel called her dads via Skype.

Hi dad! She signed when Hiram appeared in front of the screen.

Hi Rachel, that's a surprise! How are you? We are sorry we missed your call yesterday.

Hiram, as well as his daughter stayed close to the English syntax when signing. And even though not all words that were usually pronounced in spoken English were signed in ALS, Rachel pieced the words together in her head so it actually seemed like a full sentence.

Dad, I need to ask you a favor.

Hiram noticed a flush on his daughters face. She seemed somewhat changed. There was a little color back on her cheeks. Or was it just the screen?

Of course, what is it, honey?

Rachel hesitated a moment. Then she picked up her mobile phone that lay next to her computer.

Dad, I … I have received a voice message. From Quinn. I... I know what she says. It's just… she paused her hands and bit her lower lip. Then continued hesitantly.

I want to know how it sounds like, her voice. I mean how did Quinn say it.

She emphasized the word "how" with a stronger motion of her hand and paused a second before continuing with the rest of the sentence.

Hiram swallowed. So that was it. Quinn had finally tried to contact Rachel. Even though Rachel had never much talked about how hurt she had been, Hiram and Leroy had noticed how badly it had affected her when Quinn had broken off contact. Usually - well, at least before the accident - Rachel had shared almost everything with her dads. The fact, that she kept unusually quiet about what Quinn's absence and disregard had done to her, told them enough. This must have hurt their daughter deeper than she had let on.

Hiram knew that he would have to do this right. His daughter would not have asked if it was not important to her. He also knew it must have cost her a lot of strength to come up with that request. For one, because it involved Quinn and for the other, acknowledging that some other person had to listen to something and interpret for her, was not something Rachel would ask lightly.

He nodded.

Of course.

Rachel activated the voice mail and held it close to the microphone. She intently watched Hiram's face for any reaction while he was listening to the message. He closed his eyes to concentrate better. The transmission was probably not the best. Could he hear it all right? She tried not to fidget while she waited. Oh, how much she wished she could hear that voice herself!

When Hiram opened his eyes again Rachel guessed the message was finished. She tried not to look too hopeful. Though she did hope that her dad would convey the emotions behind the words in a way she could comprehend. His ASL was not really fluent. She did not blame him. Rachel knew her dads were trying at least.

The language was so complex and involved so many layers, such as facial expressions, body composure and many more. Even though she herself had taken up lessons on a daily basis for the past five months now, she nonetheless felt that there was still so much to learn. And like every other language, there was a difference between learning it as a child and having to learn it as an adult. As Rachel had no other choice, she put in a great effort. Not that she currently had much chance to express herself in her self-isolation. But should she ever feel ready to break out of that containment field, she wanted to be ready.

Rachel was drawn back to the screen in front of her. Her dad waved his hand in front of the camera to get her attention.

Rachel, you ok?

She nodded.

Yes, sorry. Just remembered something, she half-lied. She did not feel like explaining what had just gone through her mind.

Even though she knew how complex the language was, a part of her still expected her dads to make a better effort. It was her only way of communication, writing or typing messages aside.

I will type the next sentences. I am not familiar with some of the words.

She nodded, her shoulders sagging a bit wondering if he had just read her thoughts. If he did, then he had definitely misunderstood.

If she communicated more with her dads, maybe they would also see the necessity to learn more. And they probably would learn quicker through the practice with her. She guessed that it was still hard for them to accept the facts and therefore accepting the necessity of learning to sign properly. This form of denying did not help much in moving forward.

Something that could ring true for her as well, she thought ruefully.

In the text box next to her dad's picture the words started flickering across the screen.

Rachel, Quinn sounded sincere. I get the feeling she was really worried about you.

She stared at the text, willing her dad to write more. Come on, that couldn't be it. When nothing happened she prompted him impatiently, also typing.

Dad, please, what else?

What do you mean what else?

Rachel rolled her eyes. Oh, sometimes it was just so frustrating having two dads! Two men who sometimes just had no idea how to get down to the subtleties of life. Rachel suppressed a sigh. Kurt though, he would have understood. Well, he was not in her new life anymore like all the others that she had left behind with her voice. She concentrated again at the ongoing conversation.

Was she just worried or was there something else? Dad, it is important to me, please!

Hiram looked at his daughter. He noticed the hopeful spark in her eyes. And he desperately wanted to keep that alive. Her eyes had been dead for so long. Then he formed with his hands the signs for let, sweeping his two hands forward and away from his body, his index finger and thumb of each hand forming an L. Then he pointed at himself for me. Listen followed by cupping his ear with his right hand. The word again was expressed by moving his fingertips of his right hand into the open, flat palm of his left with an arching motion.

Let me listen again.

Rachel pressed the play button on her phone anew, grateful that her dad took the effort to sign, even though it would have been easier and quicker for him to just type the words. Maybe she should give him some credit.

After Hiram had heard the message for the second time he really wondered what was going on.

The words appeared on the screen again.

As said before, Quinn sounded very sincere. A little desperate, even. I think she was really concerned about what happened to you. It sounded honest when she said that she truly missed you. There was also an urgency in her voice… I don't know how to describe it better. I really think she meant every word she said. Does that help?

Rachel smiled for her dad's benefit and screamed 'nooooo' in her head. It was not enough! It would never be enough having to listen to someone describing how something or someone sounded. Especially when it came to a certain blonde. But she conceded signing a quick Yes, thanks, dad!

After ending the call, she leaned back in her chair and played absentmindedly with the phone in her hand, staring at the translated voice message once more.

Meeting Quinn had opened her own Pandora's box. And she had no idea how to close it again. Deep in her heart, she knew that running into Quinn was all she ever wanted for the past four years. She had envisioned their meeting countless times in her head.

Quinn apologizing profoundly, Rachel being aloof and unforgiving. At first.
Quinn begging on her knees to be heard, Rachel graciously giving her another chance.
Quinn standing in front of her apartment, waiting to be let in while Rachel played the smoldering diva until finally relenting to Quinn's pleas.

She had so many different scenarios in her head that she could fill a book with them. But never – never – had she imagined their encounter the way it really happened.

Though there was one thing all her imagined scenarios and the real meeting had in common. In the end, Rachel was glad as hell that Quinn had come back. And she had never dared to imagine anything beyond that first meeting. She was afraid of feeding false hopes.

So now she was standing in front of an empty canvass. Her mind was blank. What would happen now? What should she do?

If she were not living in this hell of silence now, her choice would come easy. But these feelings of inadequacy and still trying to get used to living in this strange soundless world had made her very cautious about interacting with other people. Rachel was actually surprised in retrospect that she had agreed to share lunch with Quinn. At a public restaurant no less! What was it that had pushed her out of her comfort zone? Or should she say 'pulled'?

Somehow, once Quinn had assessed the situation and understood what had happened to her, communicating was so much easier with her than with any other person. Except for Carmen, maybe. But that was different. She was trained to work with people who lost their hearing. So that did not count.

Rachel was on a roller coaster of emotions. One moment she fell down in a break neck speed into her current situation, then another moment she saw Quinn's eyes in front of her that picked her up and pushed her on top of the mountain again. Just to fall back down on the other side into doubts and self-destructive thoughts again.

After what seemed like endless hours debating with herself and running in circles, she smacked her hand flat on the desk in frustration. In her mind she heard the sound her hand made upon connecting with the smooth surface. This finally seemed to break the vicious circle in her head. She made a decision. Quickly she typed a message on her mobile and pressed the send button before she could change her mind.

Something about Quinn drew her like a moth to the light. Even after all these years.

Even after her accident that gravitation still worked on her.

Thank you Nicole for working so hard and patiently giving me your feedback while I keep bombarding you with my chapters!

Thanks again to all of you following my story! That pushes me along!