Chapter 12: Detention with the Cook

"Are you kidding me?!"

Peter grinned. Spreading his legs and stretching overhead, he waited for the rattail kid – Jim– to finish flipping out at Master Cogsworth. Master Cogsworth, for his part, regarded Jim with haughty disapproval.

"Young man…"said Master Cogsworth eyeing Jim repugnantly. "You are not off to a good start."

Jim rounded on Cogsworth like a tiger. "Me? Me?! Seriously?"

Peter raised his eyebrows innocently as Jim pointed. "You've got a level one sex offender and I'm the one who's not off to a good start?!"

"To be fair," Peter interjected as Cogworth's gears spun madly. "I'm an orphan, so that makes everything ok. House rules."

Anger boiled behind Jim's eyes. "Save it for the alley, jack ass."

Peter leaned forward, sensing that he had hit a nerve. "Bring your cute little girl-friend and I'll consider."

"Son of a b—"

"That – will – do!"

Jim and Peter flinched away from each other as a puff of blue smoke filled the room. Master Merlin marched through the doorway.

"Most unbecoming!" Master Merlin frowned his bushy white eyebrows. "Most unbecoming indeed. Let's try to settle our differences, shall we? I have a splitting headache."

Jim's fingers twitched as Master Merlin conversed rapidly with Master Cogsworth. Under the vigilance of Master Merlin's pet owl, he didn't dare seize Peter's throat although the thought was tempting. But before Jim began seriously outweighing the reward and risk, the professors reached an agreement.

"We've decided…" Master Cogworth said, "…to provide separate detentions, given the severity discrepancy of each offense."

"Oh give me a break." Jim muttered, slamming into his chair.

"Mr. Hawkins…" Cogsworth continued, "…you are on KP with our school cook, Mr. Silver."

"Whatever."

"You will report to him everyday afterschool for a month, starting today."

"What?!"

Peter crossed his legs delightfully as Jim pounced from his seat.

"After school? For a month? Are you kidding me?" Jim's head buzzed with anger. "I have a job! I have to find work after school! My house fu – "

"Temper." Peter leaned his head to the side with a smile. "That's what got you in trouble in the first place."

"As for you, Mr. Pan…" Master Cogworth continued, turning away from Jim. "A lesson in humility is indicated for your punishment. Starting today, you will be joining Dr. Sweet's after school elementary program with the pre-health students."

Peter scrunched his nose. "The nerds? I dunno Cogs…not really my scene."

"Community service! Good for the blood!" Master Merlin thumped his chest. Archimedes rolled his eyes. "Teaches you to appreciate all sorts of good stuffs. Teamwork, hard work, humility…the like."

Peter shifted in his chair. "Not buying it."

"Ah, well…it is irrelevant whether you 'buy it' or not."

Ushering Jim to follow, Master Merlin headed for the door. "I'll show Mr. Hawkins to the kitchens. Master Cogsworth, I trust you'll escort Mr. Pan?"

"Indubitably." Cogsworth replied.

"Excellent." said Master Merlin, rubbing together his hands. "Off we go then. Spick – spack – sporum!"

Poof.

Jim blinked. They were no longer in master Cogsworth's office. Having spent half his life as a waiter, Jim quickly recognized his new surrounds. They were in a kitchen.

Merlin's eyes twinkled as Jim adjusted to the transportation spell. Twirling what Jim could only assume was a wand, Merlin ushered Jim into the heart of the kitchen.

Jim shied away from the professor. "Magic?." he said as they rounded a stack of lunch trays. "Thought you were a jester."

Archimedes snickered. Merlin's face turned sour.

"My dear lad." said Merlin tartly, poking Archimedes with his wand. "Jesters and magicians are tricksters and charlatans. I happen to be the world's most powerful wizard!"

He paused, as if waiting for applause.

Jim angled an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Really." Merlin nodded proudly. "The term 'jester' is a nasty guise wizards must assume, so's not to create panic. Black magic…eh…has given the profession a bad name."

Jim snorted. Wizards, witches, and magic in general were politely outlawed in Fantasia. Most magical persons lived in cults on the other side of the continent: The Land of the Others.

"You might as well get use to it young man." Master Merlin said, shaking his finger. "Due to this prophecy business, you and your classmates will require magical training. How to recognize, prevent, and even use magic to survive. I, shall be your magic teacher."

Archimedes sighed. "Unfortunately."

"Perfect." Jim eyed Master Merlin dubiously, "The owl talks."

In a flurry of feathers, Archimedes puffed like a bullfrog. "Blockhead! At least I'm not monosyllabic."

"Archimedes!" Merlin scolded, deflating the owl with a poke from his wand. "Behave! That's no way to – ah! Mr. Silver!"

A hulking figure solidified from the shadows cast by the boiling oven. His smile widened into a toothy, gilded grin as he approached Jim and the wizard.

Then, the figure ducked into the light. Jim's chest thumped.

The man – Mr. Silver – was not a man. Not completely.

He was a cyborg.

Embedded into half of his flesh were metal joints and extensions encasing a mechanical skull, ribcage, and extremities. Every motion triggered cascades of clicks and ticks. With grotesque normality, Silver's motorized parts offered fluid, almost silky movement. Like a snake.

But most unsettling was the eye; a blood red laser circumvolving in a turning metal socket. The laser pulsated as the socket spiraled into focus. The red light burned into Jim's eyes.

Jim glared. He refuse to blink.

"Well now, Mr. Merlin, Sir!" Silver's voice dripped with honey. They cyborg rubbed both hands over his grubby apron. "And your chirpy owl friend. What an honor, it is. To what pleasure has bestowed upon my humble kitchen?"

Silver's gaze slithered to Jim before Master Merlin introduced him.

"Another detention, I'm afraid." Gently, Master Merlin reached behind Jim's shoulders. Shuffling forward, Jim glared into the red laser. "It seems young Jim Hawkins here as gotten into a spot of trouble – "

" – Jimbo!"

Silver's mechanical hand sliced out like a whip, stopping inches from Jim's chest. Without flinching, Jim looked down. Instead of fingers, the cyborg's hand glittered with steel kitchen knives.

"Whoa-hoh! My mistake."

The mechanical hand folded in on itself, collapsing into the forearm in exchange for wire fingers, extended in a handshake.

Jim glowered. He did not shake the hand.

But as amusement flickered in the cyborg's biological eye, Jim suddenly remembered the old pirate, Billy Bones's, last words before he died.

The man with the metal hand. Beware of the man with the metal hand.

Silver looked down. Jim realized his fists had clenched. Quickly, he unclenched them but the cyborg's face had eased into a political smile.

"Now don't let this piece of hardware alarm ye, Jimbo. It's…harmless."

Straightening, Silver demonstrated. The fingers retracted, swapping for various gadget extensions: kitchen utensils, wrenches, soldering iron, blowtorch, plunger. Still grinning, the cyborg stepped back. "Jus' takes a bit getting use to."

"Well there'll be plenty of time for that!" Archimedes waddled across Merlin's shoulders. "Sonny boy here is your slave for a month."

Folds of skin raised over the Silver's brow. "Is that a fact now? Well then…Wart lad! Hup to! Come and meet your fellow…" Silver grinned at Jim. "…galley slave."

Jim hadn't even notice the other student, hidden behind a mountain of dirty lunch trays. It was a boy, perhaps two years Jim's junior, with sharp features but genial expression. His blonde hair was matted with soap suds and stuck into the corners of grey-blue eyes.

After hesitation, the boy made quick eye-contact as Silver introduced him as Wart. But his gaze dropped even faster to the floor. As Master Merlin and Silver discussed the detention terms, Jim let down his guard; he recognized the heaviness in Wart's face.

"Splendid!"

Jim and Wart turned to Master Merlin, now clapping his hands together.

"Jim, you will work the second shift after…after…oh confound it all. I've quite forgotten! Your name was…" Master Merlin smiled kindly at the boy. "War – ""

"WART! WART!"

"Told you he was still here, Dad."

Two men crowded into the kitchen, their long noses as red as their hair. One man – the eldest – was fat as a tomato. The second – presumably his son – was long and thick like a celery stalk.

Both men bared down on Wart, but Master Merlin interceded.

"Sir Ector. And Kay. What a pleasant surprise."

"Pin feathers." Mumbled Archimedes, flapping off Merlin's hat. The owl skimmed over Jim and Wart, careful to knock their heads with his talons. He landed next to a simmering pot and sniffed curiously as Sir Ector scrunched his red mustache.

"Kay, who's this jester fellow?"

Kay scratched his head dumbly. "Uhhhh…teacher."

"The name," Merlin said stiffly. "Is Merlin. Master Merlin. And I am a wizard. I teach magic at this school."

Sir Ector exhaled a comment he had been planning to make. Regarding Master Merlin with respectful contempt, Sir Ector toyed with his moustache.

"Wizard, eh? Illegal aren't they?"

"Not when they provide for the good of the state." Replied Merlin sweetly. "I am perfectly harmless, Sir. A cupcake. I've been teaching your son for two years now, and passed upon many opportunity to turn him into a toad."

Sir Ector and Kay stepped back. Attempting to regain his composure, Sir Ector said. "Know about this did you Silver."

"Aye Sir!" said Silver, saluting to the fat man. "For as long as I've been blessed as cook, Sir."

"Humph. Well. There you have it. As long as it's none of that black magic nonsense. Wart!"

Newly energized, Sir Ector leaned over Wart. Split flew from his mouth as he reprimanded the boy.

"You had KP at the orphanage today! Not here! What's in your head, boy?! Every Monday, Saturday, and Sunday it's orphanage chores! Tuesday through Friday it's KP here with Silver to earn your keep! What's wrong with you boy?"

Wart fought to keep his shoulders straight. "I'm sorry, Sir."

"Hump, well sorry is not good enough." said Sir Ector, voice raised to show off his authority. "Cinderella had to take your shift and you should be right ashamed of yourself. So, when Tarzan goes to the kennels this weekend, you'll be the only one at home: finishing today's chores. What say you to that, hm?"

Wart's shoulders dropped, his voiced fraught with disappointment. "But –"

"No buts! Let that be a lesson to you! Now…" Sir Ector pointed a finger imperially. "Report to the orphanage. Kay! Take Wart home."

"Aw Dad!" Kay pouted. "Facilier and Gaston were going out tonigh – "

"After, Son!" Sir Ector said, glaring at Master Merlin. "Take Wart to the orphanage, then you can go. I want a word with Cogsworth first."

Kay hunched his shoulders, glowering at Wart. "Come on, then!" he said, hulling Wart gruffly by the collar. "Get on, foster boy. Little runt."

"Arthur."

Wart turned. He looked startled, as if Master Merlin's gentleness was offensive. Jim wondered how the wizard knew Wart's real name was Arthur.

Disregarding Sir Ector's objections, Master Merlin nodded at the boy.

"It was a pleasure meeting you." he said simply.

Wart smiled. It was a small smile, but sufficient to erase the haggard lines from his face. "I...it was nice meeting you t—."

"Get on!" Sir Ector bellowed, bulldozing pass Jim and Silver. "Go home! And you Marvin! You come with me!"

Marching over a bucket and wet mop, Sir Ector made for the doorway. "We're going to have speaks with Cogsworth about your future employment, we are!"

"Oh Goody!" Archimedes flew eagerly after Sir Ector. "This otta be good!"

Lightheartedly, the wizard sighed. "Very well. Off to Master Cogsworth it is. Interesting. Very interesting day, I must say. Oh, no, no Mr. Hawkins…"

Jim halted. Master Merlin held out a hand. "Remember, this is your detention Lad. You will stay here, with Mr. Silver."

The cyborg grunted. Jim glared at Master Merlin. "Don't you have corporal punishment like normal schools?"

"I wish!" Archimedes called from the hallway.

Master Merlin raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry lad. But rules are rules. Mr. Silver…as you may."

"Aye, aye Sir!"

Jim stiffened as the cyborg's covered him with a huge shadow. "Don't worry, Merlin Sir. I'll see to the lad. Make sure he learns some manners."

Master Merlin nodded and vanished with a puff of blue smoke.

Jim waved away the mist in time to see the cyborg's phony smile melt.

"So." Jim remained silent as Silver regarded him. "School's stuck you with me, is it?"

Jim slouched away. "Whatever."

"Aye." Silver made his cumbersome route to the ovens. "Whatta in fer, laddie?"

Jim nudged the mop with his boot. "Kicking ass."

"Someone else's or yer own?"

Jim looked up angrily. However he came face to face with a surprise.

"Whoa! Hey!"

Smiling at him was the cutest pink blob Jim had ever seen. Panting like a puppy, the little pink creature attached itself to Jim's cheek.

"What is that thing?" Jim asked as the pink blob circled back to Silver.

"What is that thing!" mimicked the blob squeakily.

"He's…a morph. Morphie. Morphie come here." Silver said, holding out a metal finger. Elated, Morph cuddled in the cyborg's hand.

Jim watched, disenchanted as Silver returned the cozy greeting.

"You feel anything with that?" Jim asked stonily, referring to the mechanical hand.

Slowly, Silver focused his red eye. "Know many cyborgs that could?" retorted the cook calmly.

Jim smiled, although he sensed danger. Nonchalantly picking up a dish, Jim strode forward.

"Never met a cyborg." He said, spinning the dish between his palms. Pacing, Jim forced himself not to notice the red eye tracking his every movement. "But I knew a dude that did. From back home….on The Docks…ever been there?"

A pot boiled over. Conviently, Silver turned to address it. "Eh, can't says I have Jimbo!"

Jim stepped closer, relentless in his inquiry. "Really? Well must have been a mistake. Crazy codger…what was that old geezer's name…oh yeah…"

Jim stared at Silver's back. "Bones. Billy Bones."

The cyborg continued to whistle a merry little sea chant. But the muscles in his left shoulder were tense and bulging.

Jim pressed forward. "Ever heard of him?"

"Bones?" Silver answered quickly, "Bonnnnnnnnnnes? Hm,wrong again. Must'o been a drinker, that old geezer of yers."

The cyborg turned, a stack of plates materialized in his arms. "But me thinks, Lad, you choose the wrong battles to fight. Always ends up loosing, it seems."

Jim's knees buckled as Silver dropped the stack of dishes in his arms.

"So…" Silver leered over the dirty stack. "Let's start with lesson number one…I hope the ass kicking was worth it lad."

"Yeah…" Jim muttered. Angrily, he thought of Wendy and that Peter Pan. "Me too."