Again and again… I do not own Glee or its characters.

This chapter is rated M, just in case.

Nicole, thank you for beta reading now 16 chapters, which equals round about 100 Word pages. You did a mammoth job here!

JPElles: Thank you for the information on sound waves, I'll dig into this a bit further! And thanks for your continuous feedback!

Gllover22, Volerian, RVNola546, RVFlorida, brianasmith: I am so grateful that you also repeatedly take the time to give me your feedback on what you like, you are great!

If I have forgotten to mention anyone else, please forgive me. I soak up every single one of your reviews, you are wonderful!

Chapter 16

Quinn stayed on Rachel's couch after falling asleep in Rachel's arms, too tired to drive back to her apartment. They cuddled together after Rachel noticed how exhausted Quinn was from her long day. She knew that the evening performances could be quite draining, especially if the audience was fully immersed into the show. That pushed any actor and singer to further heights. When the adrenaline ebbed away afterwards, it sometimes left one completely worn-out and Rachel had often only wished for her bed as soon as the make-up came off her face.

As much as she wanted to keep on kissing Quinn and exploring her body with her hands, she did want her girlfriend to get some well-deserved rest. Even though Quinn protested in the beginning, she quickly succumbed to the soothing strokes of Rachel's warm hand on her back and started purring like a cat when she felt her other hand gently massaging her scalp. Just as Rachel expected, it did not take long until she felt Quinn's body relax as sleep took over. She debated with herself to wake her up again and suggest getting into her bed or at least offer her a T-shirt to sleep in. But she did not have the heart to wake her again.

So she just felt content to hold Quinn, slowly tracing the lines of her face with a soft finger, following the contour of her jaw, up to her full lips, red from all the kissing, over her cheekbones to the gracefully arched eyebrows. Quinn's breath breeze lightly over the skin of her hand as she continued to tenderly let her fingers dance across the velvety skin of the beautiful face in front of her.

Rachel had a hard time containing all these feelings of happiness, love, joy, amazement, and wonder that raced through her. Why, so often in life, something dramatic had to happen before you realized what was really important? She pushed the question aside and snuggled closer to Quinn and let sleep take over. Not the exhausted kind of sleep, not the kind of sleep she used as an escape from reality. Right now, she began to like her reality. It was a content kind of sleep, the kind of sleep where you drift off with a smile and wake up with one on your face.

Sometime during the night, Rachel's arm had fallen asleep and when she moved it woke her up with a thousand needles pricking her skin. Carefully she disentangled her limbs from the sleeping woman next to her. With a smile, she placed a tender kiss on her head, slowly got up and lovingly placed a blanket over Quinn. The couch was comfortable, but a bit too small for two people to sleep on it without at least one of them getting the cramps. Rachel left Quinn heavy heartedly and crawled into her bed, feeling a bit guilty to have abandoned her girlfriend on the couch. Well, maybe she could make it up to her with a very nice breakfast.

…..

The next morning Quinn woke up to unfamiliar noises. When she slowly opened her eyes, it took her a second to remember where she was. Then she caught a movement in the kitchen and watched Rachel carefully taking out two plates and cups from the cupboard, placing them slowly on the counter, making a cute face of concentration while trying to put them down without any noise. Quinn watched her move around the kitchen from under her lashes, finding it very endearing how Rachel was trying to not wake her up.

Quinn closed her eyes again and just listened to Rachel move around. The smell of fresh coffee drifted over and tickled her nose. Then she heard bare feet pad across the floor towards her. A rustling of clothes next to her told her that Rachel sat down on the couch table, facing her.

"Hey, sleepyhead!"

When she did not stir, Rachel bent down and whispered in Quinn's ear: "I know you are awake. I saw you watching me earlier on." And with that she nipped at Quinn's earlobe before sitting up again. She had placed a hand lightly on the other woman's chest so the little moan her bold action had caused did not escape her.

"Hmmmm, good morning." Quinn mumbled after inhaling the coffee aroma and that of her girlfriend's shampoo. She stretched her arms over her head and let out a content sigh. Then she opened her eyes and found Rachel smiling at her. She grabbed the tanned arm that was still on her chest, turned it slightly, and pointedly looked at Rachel's bare wrist.

"It's 8.30. So you actually still have one and a half hours before our official breakfast date." Rachel's white teeth flashed as she grinned at her.

Good. That gives me 90 minutes of kissing and weighing you.

"Weighing me, Quinn? Am I too heavy for you already?" The arched eyebrow and the challenging look caused Quinn to gaze at her own hands, wondering how they came up with such an unfitting word.

Sorry. Wrong sign. Not awake yet.

Quinn searched for the correct sign for 'hold'. Somehow, her brain cells were not on alert yet.

Rachel's chuckle eased her worries a bit. "Here, have some coffee first, then a kiss and then you can also get your hands sorted."

When Quinn had propped herself up on her elbows, Rachel offered her a coffee mug with a NYADA logo imprinted on the front. Gratefully the blond woman reached out and took the cup, taking a tentative sip. Perfect. Now the day could officially begin. Well, just one little thing to do before that. She sat up, placed the cup on the table, and pulled Rachel close, planting a very sweet, coffee tasting kiss on her full lips.

"Hmmmm, good," Rachel smiled against Quinn's lips and kissed her right back.

Before starting to eat their breakfast, Quinn asked if she could quickly freshen up first, since she had slept in her clothes from the day before. She felt a bit embarrassed about that. Not the best way to start a day and impress her new girlfriend with her day old make-up which was probably smeared across her face, and wearing rumpled clothes that once looked pretty on her when they came nicely ironed out of her closet. Quinn tried to smooth some of the wrinkles out of her skirt and then tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear, noticing a slightly amused Rachel observing her futile efforts.

"I have already laid out some towels and clothes that I think might fit you. And a tooth brush. I still had one in reserve."

That a hint, Miss Berry?

"No, just loving and tender care, Miss Fabray. C'mon, get going, so we can have breakfast. I'm…" Rachel had a slightly surprised look on her face. "I am actually hungry," she then stated as if that was something completely new to her.

You said I still have one and a half hours, Quinn pouted.

"Yes I did. But that was before you wanted to weigh me -" she smirked at that "- and since you are already standing, just move. Oh and by the way, you –" and she pointed at her for emphasize "- were laying on top of me, most of the night. So if someone were aloud to speak about weight, it should be me!" She mocked good-naturedly.

Quinn just threw her a disgruntled look, but could not hide her good mood behind it. Laughing she stole a quick kiss from Rachel and ambled over to the bathroom.

Rachel absolutely loved the light banter between them, even though every sentence was still an effort for Quinn to sign, but she did not let herself be deterred from it. These little teasers going back and forth gave Rachel the possibility to scratch on the surface of normality.

Temptation was tapping on her shoulder, urging her to follow Quinn into the shower. Or at least to sneak in and peek at her naked girlfriend. With superhuman efforts, she turned back to the kitchen and busied herself with preparing the rest of the breakfast.

When she was squeezing oranges for fresh juice, she suddenly felt two arms sneak around her from behind and she involuntarily let out a yelp, spinning around.

"Don't do that, please. Don't sneak up on me like that. That scared the hell out of me, Quinn," She exclaimed, one hand on her heart.

Rachel tried to not sound angry or irritated, even though the jolt had almost given her a cardiac arrest. Taking two deep breaths to calm her galloping heart, she looked at Quinn who already had a stricken expression on her face.

I am truly sorry I startled you like that. I thought you saw me coming. I … I guess I should have made myself known before hugging you. God, I am really sorry, Rachel.

Quinn did not know why she had not considered this a tiny bit earlier before scaring the bejesus out of her girlfriend.

"It's ok." Then the corners of Rachel's mouth lifted slowly after she had gotten over the initial shock. "But you can leave your arms where they were," and she wiggled closer to Quinn, snuggling into her embrace once more, hoping that little incident would be forgotten and not leave the blond woman feeling self-conscious about it.

Rachel inhaled the scent of her own shampoo that still lingered in Quinn's hair.

"You look cute in my sweat pants. I am glad the sweater fits as well."

Quinn could not resist. Well, at least it does not have reindeers printed on it.

"Huh, that was a loooong time ago. I have already renounced animal sweaters 6 years ago." Rachel answered indignantly.

Then both burst out laughing, imagining Rachel on stage with one of her favorite high school garments. The key word 'high school' moved the topic to Kurt.

They settled down at the kitchen counter to enjoy their breakfast. Rachel told Quinn about her Saturday evening with Kurt and about his and Blaine's marriage plans. However, she carefully omitted her brush with the piano, not feeling ready to touch upon this again. Not because of Quinn, but because she herself was not ready to think about it yet.

I am so happy for Kurt and Blaine! I bet Kurt has already planned everything down to the last detail!

"Well, pretty close," Rachel admitted laughing.

Quinn was happy that Rachel had ventured out and had met her old school friend.

"Oh, and you know what? It is really incredible, but he also learned ASL. All this time that I did not want to have any contact, he still took lessons. In case, I would come around and wanted to meet him again. He wanted to be ready and able to communicate with me." Rachel's eyes were wide in wonder relaying this information to Quinn..

That is so sweet of him! I am really, really happy, Rachel, that you have rekindled your friendship. Kurt truly is a very good friend.

"Yes, he is. And I am very grateful to have him also back in my life. Just like you," she added with a shy smile and placed a hand on Quinn's knee.

Did you tell him about us?

"Yes. That was actually the first thing I told him. I… I hope that is ok. I just… needed someone to talk to about everything that had happened and …"

She felt Quinn's hand on her arm.

It's ok, Rachel. I understand. I have to admit I also talked to a friend about us. Her name is Jenna and I have known her since my second year in Yale. She sort of was the first one to push my nose right at the fact that I was in love with you. Quinn smiled sheepishly.

"Aha, Jenna seems to be a very smart woman!"

Yes, that she is, and very observant. You know, I miss Kurt in a way. I would really like to meet him again one day.

She wasn't pressing on the date, knowing it was Rachel's call to reinforce her friendship with him first, especially under the current circumstances. Rachel needed friends. She needed to get out of her isolation and again, Quinn was so glad that her girlfriend managed to do just that. Her thoughts wandered back to last night.

Sharing a moment of silence, Rachel studied Quinn's face attentively.

The blond actress placed her toast back on the plate. Then she turned her palms up, with a quizzical expression. What?

"Don't know. I have a feeling there is something on your mind."

True. There were still so many questions burning in Quinn's mind and she wondered, if it was the right time to ask them. Since Rachel had already thrown the ball into her court, she came forward.

Rachel, I would like to ask some questions. You don't have to answer them, if you don't want to. There are a couple of things I keep wondering about after our conversation last night.

The brown eyes with incredulous long, black lashes locked with hers. Then Rachel gracefully inclined her head.

"Okaaay," she drew out the word, guessing in which direction this conversation would head. "What would you like to know?"

Quinn found the courage to ask:

You still have music on your computer?

Rachel nodded twice very slowly. Even though this was not really a question and the answer was obvious after playing that song the night before, she knew the actual intention behind the question.

Rachel tilted her head to one side and let her gaze roam across the room before settling on Quinn's features.

"It's like with New York. I could not bring myself to delete the music just as much as I couldn't leave the city. I have packed everything else, my stereo, my CD's and my sheet music into boxes and I shoved them with my dads out of the front door. But when I sat in front of my laptop… I just couldn't click on 'delete'. Like how I could not delete the music inside of me. I guess…. I guess I still like to believe… " Her voice trailed off.

Rachel's answer brought up another question. Quinn was still moved by the words that had burned into her mind the night before.

And you really would have traded your voice for me if you had to?

Yes. I guess, in a way I have.

Rachel answered signing with a slight smile, instinctively knowing that this was not the end of the question and answer session initiated by Quinn. She would patiently try to answer all the questions she had, if it helped to strengthen their understanding and trust of and for each other. She felt Quinn place a warm hand on her cheek, before the next question was formed into the air by her girlfriend's graceful hands.

How was it when you woke up and noticed that you could not hear anymore?

Rachel was quiet for a moment, collecting her thoughts.

"You know, when I woke up, I still heard something. I mean nothing that came from … the outside. There were just all these noises in my head, so loud, it drove me crazy. I could not hear what was going on around me, but there was this ringing and humming that would not stop, no matter what I did."

It was visibly very distressing for Rachel to conjure up these memories and Quinn regretted ever asking that question. However, she immensely appreciated that Rachel trusted her enough to take the pains and share her experience.

"I started screaming at one point because I could not take it anymore, somehow illogically hoping that hearing my own screams would at least drown out the cacophony inside. All that was left of my life was this constant and maddening uproar in my head. For a long time I could not sleep, the noise would keep me awake. And due to vertigo I could not get out of bed much. It was really bad in the beginning, I felt like a prisoner in my own body. And as soon as I closed my eyes I was completely isolated. There was nothing left to tie me to my surroundings. Every time I closed my eyes, the world was gone. No other means of connecting. That was really scaring me. Still is. I feel vulnerable at night. On one hand sleep was bliss, because I could forget. But on the other hand, it is frightening to know that I have no means of knowing what goes on around me once I close my eyes or fall asleep. Most times I sleep with the lights on. Just so when I wake up I can immediately take in my surroundings."

Quinn linked her fingers with one of Rachel's hands and pressed a kiss to the back of it, providing a much needed bond, thus silently acknowledging that she understood. She did not want to let go of Rachel's hand, so she used the pad that lay on the counter surface and scribbled her next question down. With just one free hand, the paper kept moving and Rachel reached out to steady it for her. Her eyes skipped over the words that were rolling out from under the pen.

Do you still hear the noises? How did you cope then? Was there anything the doctors could do about it?

Rachel shook her head. "No. The problem was that all these noises are amplified by the brain. A sort of overreaction to the missing outside stimulation. There is nothing the doctors could do about it. They gave me sedatives so that I could at least try to get some rest at night, I was so exhausted, and there was still the pain from my other head injuries. They told me the sounds would get less over time, or that at least I would somehow get used to them." She shrugged. "Whatever."

Rachel paused for a moment.

"I don't know how many times I had prayed for the roar in my head to stop, I did not understand why I would have to endure such horrible racket in my head when I could not hear. It almost drove me crazy combined with the exhaustion, the vertigo, the pain. Sometimes I would slowly rock myself back and forth, repeating over and over 'please make it stop, please make it stop'. When finally everything went silent in my head, it felt like bliss. I woke up one morning and the noises were gone. I hoped this would maybe mean I could then hear more of what was going on around me. But that wasn't the case. Everything else stayed silent."

Quinn rose from her chair, hugged Rachel gently, and placed a kiss on her temple. You still had to heal then, and even now, your body needs more time to repair itself after your last operation. I know it is easy for me to say. I only have a small taste of what it must be like for you.

Rachel threw her a soft smile

"You know, " she continued with a small voice, " I feel so cut off from the world. As soon as there are two people in the room with me, I am lost. I don't know what they are saying and I don't want to ask them to explain all the time. And you have noticed yourself, writing or signing somehow can only transmit half of the emotions that a voice can carry. This is the worst; I am cut off from the emotions. Cut off from people. Expressing myself through singing and music, yes, that was one part. But there is still so much more going on beyond the spoken words, I never realized that this gives you more knowledge about what is being said than the actual content of the words."

She fiddled with the handle of her coffee cup and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Quinn nod.

Quinn did not dare interrupt; it warmed her heart that Rachel shared so much insight with her even though it clearly was not easy to talk about these experiences and what impact they had on her daily life. She had the feeling that Rachel had not told anyone these things before and it touched her very deeply inside her heart that she seemed to trust Quinn enough to share them with her.

How is it for you when you are outside?

"The orientation is more difficult. I did not notice how much we subconsciously rely on our hearing to orient us. To hear someone approaching, to judge distances of moving objects. I have troubles judging how fast a car is coming at me when I want to cross the street, because apparently I also judged its speed by the changing of the sound as it came nearer. People moving around me on the street, suddenly they just materialize at my side or in front of me and I have no way of anticipating their appearance. It is so exhausting. This is why I chose to stay by myself. Being around people when you are deaf can be very draining and confusing. This was why I did not want to stay in contact with anyone. But I did not count on how tenacious my friends could be to find ways to talk to me," she added with a small smile.

A guilty look appeared on Quinn's face, her thoughts still lingering on what Rachel had just told her about not being able to judge from where people approached her.

I am really sorry about this morning. I just did not think.

"Quinn, stop feeling bad about this, we are entitled to make mistakes. As long as we explain why something might hurt us, we can learn from them."

Ok. I will try. After a second she added: You know, I am glad we gave each other a chance, Rachel. Otherwise, we would have missed all this.

"What 'this'?" Rachel asked, innocently beating her eyelashes.

"This!" And Quinn leaned forward, gently placing her right hand over Rachel's heart and kissing her soft lips, very slowly, very tenderly, almost not touching, making it so much more exciting. She heard Rachel's breath coming in short gasps and her pulse quickened. Again their lips barely connected, both women getting more and more aroused by their slow teasing game.

Every time their lips connected, one of the women would draw back a little, inviting the other to follow her, only to reverse the game. At one point Rachel nipped again at Quinn's earlobe, ever so softly, hardly touching, letting her breath tickle the tiny, soft hairs on Quinn's creamy skin. She felt Quinn tense under her hands, which encouraged her to continue. Softly she placed a kiss on the spot behind her left jaw, just below her ear. Rachel felt Quinn shudder under her tender touch. She trailed her kisses down her long, elegant neck, pulling a bit on the sweater until it revealed a delicate collarbone, which she used as a basis for another shower of gentle caresses with her lips.

She slowly worked her way back up, meeting again with Quinn's mouth who eagerly claimed her. She felt the other woman's tongue probe her lips and she conceded to her request.

Quinn could not help it, but when Rachel's lips trailed down her skin, she could not hold back the little moans and whimpers the soft touches caused to escape from her lips. Rachel's breath tickled her skin and raised the little hairs on her arms, sending a shower down her spine.

She had to hold back to not claim the petite woman right then and there. On one hand, their relationship was still so fresh, so tender and fragile, on the other, finally releasing all those feelings after nine years made it hard to suppress her arousal.

Quinn felt Rachel press her body against hers and she slid off the bar stool, grabbing her girlfriend's legs. Rachel moved in sync and jumped up a little, wrapping her legs around the former cheerleader's waist, linking her arms behind her neck.

Slowly Quinn maneuvered towards the couch when Rachel's breathless voice reached her ear, barely audible over pulse pounding in them.

"Un uh, too uncomfortable. Bed." Was all she managed before nipping at the blond woman's lower lip.

Quinn turned and effortlessly carried Rachel down the small hallway into the other room where both women collapsed breathlessly on the bed. Rachel's shiny locks spread out under her head. Quinn leaned over her, much as Rachel had done the evening before and in Quinn's eyes, she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. The color of her eyes revealed a warm tone as she looked at Rachel and Quinn was mesmerized by the numerous shades of brown her eyes could take on. She was so lost in her observation that she did not hear Rachel address her.

Only when Rachel shook her slightly by the shoulder, Quinn's attention zoomed back. She blinked and then smiled.

"Where were you just now?"

Lost in your eyes, Quinn intended to sign with one hand while balancing on the other, trying not to fall on the smaller woman underneath her.

Rachel laughed. "What's with my eyes? Never mind." And she gently pulled her down until she lay on top of her. Quinn tried to position her hands so she could repeat her answer, but Rachel interrupted her.

"It's ok, Quinn," she stated gently and moved her own hands under Quinn's sweater. Her hands explored the soft skin and the well-toned muscles of her back along the spine. Years of cheerleading practice and dancing had helped shape Quinn's body to perfection. At least that was what Rachel thought. Slowly her fingers crept down her sides, trailing over the soft swelling of her lover's breast, which protruded slightly from under her causing Quinn to let out an involuntary groan. Rachel felt the heat shoot between her legs and she wrapped one leg around Quinn who started grinding her lower body against Rachel's.

Both began moving in a rhythm, panting and kissing. Rachel felt Quinn's hand sneak under her shirt, swirling a finger around the nipple of her right breast, which instantly reacted against the touch. Again, a rush of heat surged through her stomach down to her most sensible part.

Rachel was amazed how touching Quinn and how being touched by her caused her body to overload. She had never felt such desire and deep love before. With none of her lovers. Something had always been missing, something to push her over the edge to get completely lost in this exploration of bodies, evoking a longing that it almost hurt.

Rachel tugged at Quinn's sweater, signaling her to take it off, and Quinn obediently obliged. The sweater landed in a heap on the floor, with sweatpants that followed. Not long after, Rachel's shirt joined the company. Rachel's jeans had to stay by itself as it unfortunately landed on the other side of the bed, leaving both women solely clad in their underwear which was discarded just as quickly.

Rachel let her eyes roam over Quinn's slender, but athletic body, her hands following the trail of her eyes. She could not cover enough skin at once and started using her lips as well to discover the perfect body in front of her, feeling, tasting and wanting.

Quinn wound herself under Rachel's touch, trying to control the shivers her caresses caused from racing down her spine. She failed. The more Rachel touched her, the stronger the desire burned. Finally, she straddled Rachel's thigh, pressing her own against the other woman's juncture between her legs.

They took up their former rhythm until both women felt the orgasm surge through them. Quinn reached her climax first, whimpering, pressing harder down on Rachel's thigh, and through her haze she felt her lover tense as well, letting out a groan, gripping Quinn's upper arms, holding tight as the she rode on the wave that crashed through her body.

Panting and breathing hard, Quinn collapsed next to Rachel, pressing her body close against hers, placing a soft kiss on her lover's lips. She still felt the throbbing between her legs, but was too mesmerized by Rachel's expression to pay any further attention to it.

Rachel had her head slightly turned towards her, gazing at her from under her lashes, her cheeks flushed and her dark locks tousled, a strand falling over her shoulder, its tip almost licking at her breast. There was a glow cast over her features and when she looked up to gaze directly into her own eyes, Quinn was completely lost again. God, this was perfection laying right there in her arms.

"I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Rachel," Quinn shook her head at a loss for words to express this feeling of absolute belonging that raced through her. Tears sprang to her eyes as she bent down and very softly kissed Rachel.

"I love you, too, Quinn Fabray. With all my heart. I have always loved you and will always love you." Rachel answered, having read the words from Quinn's lips and she cupped Quinn's face, tenderly wiping the tears away, only to notice that she herself was crying.

That made both women laugh. "Look at us bawling again. I have to correct my statement from yesterday. I don't think even gay guys cry that much." She saw Quinn's face break into a smile and felt her chuckle against her body.

Then she remembered Quinn's beautiful words about how something that touched her inner truth, always made her cry.

"I guess, we both have just felt the truth of our hearts, Quinn. They showed us that we belong right where we are."

Quinn pressed her lips together, desperately trying to stop the flow of tears, but they would not obey and just kept falling harder after hearing Rachel's voice form those words.

Rachel pulled Quinn closer and placed her head on her chest, holding her tight, whispering soothing words, while softly stroking her back.

Quinn did not understand why she had to cry and why she could not stop, the sobs coming stronger and stronger until they rocked her whole body. The thought that she could have almost lost Rachel, first though her own actions, then through that horrible accident, made her cling to that small form beside her and somehow Rachel seemed to understand.

She felt Rachel's arms around her, her soft and beautiful voice enveloped her and knew that this was the safest place she could ever be. This was her sanctuary, her haven.

"Quinn, I am here, I won't leave. I am here, everything is ok." Rachel kept repeating those words over and over until Quinn felt her sobs die down, leaving her to take shuddering breaths while trying to compose herself again.

Then she looked up with shining eyes, trying a brave smile. "Thank you," she whispered.

Slowly Rachel brushed a blond strand out of Quinn's face, tugging it behind her ear.

"Quinn, you gave me your heart. That is the most precious thing one can offer. You don't have to thank me. I have to thank you and I promise that I will treasure and protect this gift with all my might."

And they held each other for a very long time in a tight embrace.

Currently working on chapter 17 and 18... might take a bit longer this time for the next update.