Chapter 9: Demonic Monster That Doesn't Like Anything

I'm pretty sure that I ran away again, even if I only got to the lake that was the center of the Clan territories. I'm pretty sure that I've never cried that much before, either. I'm pretty sure that I thought nothing could be worse than killing my own sister. I was wrong. I was oh so wrong. It made me want to scream and shout to the world that I was done. That I was going to hide from everyone, forever.

Suddenly, I want to jump into the water. It looks so inviting. I just was to jump in and stop breathing. So I do. I wade in. When the water gets above my head, I lay down. I don't move. My lungs were screaming for air, and I don't listen to them. I would much rather drown than live. I killed my own sister, isn't that worthy of death?

Isn't this what I deserve?

I'll gladly go to whatever hell I came from. I'll haunt everyone until I fade away. I'll just die, never to be heard from again. And then, I'm reminded of my dream. Of the trials. Of the wolves, the warriors, whatever they're called. Of how for some reason I might just be the center of it all. And that just makes me want to drown even more.

I can feel how I felt then. Right now. As I'm telling you this. I've heard stories from other cats that twolegs used to harm themselves when they were depressed. They called it suicide. And that's what I tried to do. The last thing I remember from that moment, is my memory slipping, the numbing feeling in my bones, the beautiful silence, and being pulled out of the water before I was completely dead.

The golden-brown tom lifted the so called 'demon' from the water. He had been following Sunwind, just to see what she was up to. Since she had decided to disappear every few days, he had been curious. Of course, because Sunwind was deputy and Hollystar would probably kill however decided to mess with business, no other cat wanted to risk their life finding out why their deputy was disappearing.

I really hope that I don't die. The tom thought as he lugged the demon through the forest. I really, really hope I don't die.

When the tom arrived in the ShadowClan camp, carried a half-drowned, apprentice-size, black furred tom, they started to question him, "Who is that?", "What's he doing here?", "Where did you find him?"

"ENOUGH!" Hollystar's voice probably rang throughout the whole lake, "Blaze, what are you doing with him?"

Blaze bowed his head, "I found him trying to drown in the river." He answered curtly.

Hollystar's eyes narrowed, and Blaze couldn't help but wonder if he had done something wrong. The glares and stares he was getting was slightly putting him on edge. Not like he wanted to attack his Clanmates or anything, but he would if he had to endure any of these looks of strangeness.

"Take him to Cloudbreeze." Hollystar mewed quietly, "And wait there until he wakes up." All the cats crowded around them were shocked, dumbfounded, and Blaze was sure a couple even fainted from disbelief. Hollystar never spoke quietly, unless she was talking to Sunwind or giving secrets. Hearing His leader talk almost motherly, well that just made him want to break out in laughter. Too bad he couldn't though, because Hollystar would kill him if he did. Instead, he just nodded and went straight towards a white she-cat with gray ears and tail-tip.

"Bring him to the back." Blaze obliged, and set the black cat down. Cloudbreeze gathered a bunch of herbs and mixed them together. Then she grabbed some moss and dipped it in water, putting it on the cat's forehead.

"It will cool him down." Cloudbreeze explained quickly, "I can see the fever. When he wakes up, tell him to eat the herbs I mixed. I'm going to talk to Hollystar."

Blaze nodded, and sat down, waiting. He waited until the moon had risen, when the black tom finally started to open his eyes. Blaze was shocked to see that the tom's eyes were blood red. They might look like they were amber far away, but in reality, they were red. I really hope it's not happening again. Blaze thought. And before the red-eyed tom knew he was in there, Blaze ran.

I woke up in a den, surrounded by herbs and other really nasty-smelling stuff. I almost didn't remember almost drowning, but I did remember Killing Joann, and then almost killing Sunwind as well. No cat was around, so I cried. The tears fell to the ground almost as soon as they appeared in my eyes. I had just lost me sister, so don't judge me. I wasn't there for long, before a white she-cat with gray ears and tail-tip walked in.

"You're awake." She mewed, then turned her head to whisper, "And Blaze didn't tell us."

Then Sunwind walked in, "Cat!" She exclaimed, "You're okay!" A grin spread across her face, nearly distracting me from the tear lines on her face. I could understand why she had been crying. I probably scared the poop out of her. Anyone would've been scared. On top of the grin Sunwind was sporting, I could smell that famous scent she had when she was around me. That weird relief. There was still fear, but the relief-ish thing was stronger.

"I'm glad you're okay." Sunwind mewed, then practically snuggled up against me. It was really awkward for me, but I just had to remember that ShadowClan probably had some kind of healer. I knew that there was some kind of herb that cured shock, so Sunwind had probably taken that and was now hyper. That or she had a secret stash of catnip. I know what that does to a cat. I've seen it. Crazy.

And then I was distracted again because that weird relief scent was growing stronger. But that could've just been my imagination. I still pushed her away from me, though. I don't like touchy feely stuff.

"Why the heck aren't you afraid of me?" I yowled, "I just killed my own sister in a blood bath of blood baths, and here you are acting like it never happened?" I bared my teeth, fangs definitely glimmering in the dim light. I don't like to brag, but my fangs were pure white. I cleaned them in all the blood baths I made.

Sunwind flinched at what I said, which I wouldn't necessarily blame her for, but then she smiled, "So what? I've seen Hollystar do that plenty of times."

Then, a black she-cat with white markings appeared. I was stunned. She was about my age, judging by her height, 8 maybe nine moons old. Yes, I know I'm young for a cat who's killed hundreds. The newcomer simply arranged a few herbs and left. But I will never forget her eyes. Never. Ever. Not in a million years. Not because I liked her. No, that would just be gross. She might have she-cat cooties or something. No. It was because they looked exactly like Joann's eyes. Blue. Frosty. Temperish. I almost cried again. But, you know, can't show any weakness here, or I might just be angered because I'm supposed to be this demon that has never cried before and can summon fire at will.

Which made me think, for some weird reason, Why can I suddenly restrain myself from killing now that I've met ShadowClan?

Is it because they're darkness too? Is it because Hollystar's like me? Or s it because there's a strange magic going on in this forest that I'm supposed to stop because I kill for some strange reason?

And then I thought: Nah, it's probably just some weird coincidence.

"Eat these." The white she-cat mewed, "They'll make you feel better."

I shook my head, "Herbs don't work on me."

"Just eat them."

"I can't. They won't work."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm a weird demonic monster who hates everything and herbs don't work on demonic monsters who hate everything?" I tilted my head, just for effect.

Then the white she-cat got angry. Really angry. Like, so angry her face got all red and stuff. I stared at her, because I knew that would make her angrier. It's funny seeing other cats angry with you.

Wait...never mind. That's not true with everyone.

"I serious that they won't work on me though." I mewed, "I've even eaten deathberries, I'm invincible."

This got her furious. Her face...it was priceless. Absolutely priceless.

"You have some nerve telling such lies." She growled, "I don't appreciate it."

"Well you can't really not appreciate the stuff I'm telling you here, because their not lies." And I'm really serious. I ate deathberries. After I killed Opin. I ate them, hoping that I would die. I didn't, and I ate more. They taste pretty good actually. Like meat, only berry-er, "I don't lie." I hissed, while staring at her angry expression. I really loved seeing her angry. If I ended up staying in ShadowClan, I would mess with her every day.

"Whatever. Eat them, don't eat them. Doesn't matter to me." I sighed with relief.

(really, I don't know if herbs don't work on me. I've only eaten deathberries.)

So guys, what did you think? What do you think Sunwind's mysterious scent is? Where do you think Joann went? What do you think will happen to Cat? Please Review!

-Moon