Can you believe it, 18 (EIGHTEEN!) chapters already! I never thought this little idea of mine would carry itself so far… and get such great feedback. Thank you all for staying with me!
- Sharene19: The saying is true, but so far, I still have a couple of things to write about. So there is more to come, don't worry!
- gllover22: The latter is definitely coming up, soon…
- JPElles: It's in the works…
- Nicole Craft: Thank you thank you thank you! Hope beta reading my story does not steal too much time from writing yours!
Glee, what shall I say… wish I would own it. But I don't, didn't and won't.
Chapter 18
Wednesday evening, Quinn hurried to get out early after her performance, because she finally wanted to give Santana a call. She did not know how much she would tell her friend about her new love live yet, but at least she wanted to hear how her friend was.
Quinn settled on her couch and typed Santana's number into her phone. Her high school friend was currently in New York, staying with her aunt and uncle.
The Latina picked up after the third ring, greeting her with the usual charming Santana style.
"Hey, Quinn. I was wondering if you were still alive."
"Likewise, Santana," Quinn smirked. "How are you?"
"Busy, but good!" She hesitated a moment. Quinn sensed that there was more to come and stayed silent. "Isn't it strange how life keeps us busy and days rushed by until you notice that the important things are left behind? Like staying connected to friends. Not even having time or taking the time to call them? Always blaming others or other circumstances why we just can't make the effort."
Santana offered a rare and untypical glimpse into her inner musings. She did not share these insights with many people. Most people were recipients of her typical directness, carefully hiding the sensitive side of her personality that also existed. Once she trusted a person enough, she would let her or him enter this part of Santana's world. People were often surprised by the depth and vulnerability that the young woman could display.
"Yeah," Quinn sighed, "tell me about it. I don't know how many times it was already when I wanted to call you. You still staying with your family?"
"Yes. But I am applying for jobs here in New York," Santana revealed and Quinn could hear the smile in her voice.
"Really? It's about time! What are your options?" Quinn was excited about the possibility to have her old friend living close to her again. That would make it so much easier to stay in contact.
"There is an agency that is hiring a personal trainer for some VIPs, mainly high strung managers, some celebrities as well. Can you imagine kicking some actress's butt?"
Quinn chuckled. "Well, it won't be my butt you're gonna kick! Do you already have interviews?"
"Yes, obviously cheerleading under Coach Sylvester was a markup in my curriculum. There is still one other competitor in the loop though, for this particular job."
"When will you know if you get it?" Quinn really hoped that Santana would stay in the city.
"They will call me back tomorrow. So keep your fingers crossed, Q! Listen, if this works out, do you think I could stay with you for a couple of days until I have my own place? My tia is really nice and all, but a little overbearing at times."
Had this question been asked two weeks ago, Quinn would not have hesitated to offer her guest room to Santana, but now Quinn did not know what to answer right away.
"What? Something you need to tell me? You moving? Got an engagement somewhere else?" Santana sounded disappointed.
"No, I'm staying in New York."
"Someone living with you already? You pregnant or what?"
"No." Was all Quinn said, rolling her eyes at the last question.
There was silence in the line for a second. Quinn was thinking about how much she was going to tell and Santana was trying to figure out what caused Quinn's hesitation. Then she caught on.
"Wait! You are seeing someone! That's why you don't want me to stay with you! Little Santana would be in the way when you and your new smoochie are making out," she then exclaimed.
"Ugh," Quinn just groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. Damn. How come Santana always knew these things? Ok, it was not that hard to guess, judging from her reaction to Santana's initial question to stay with her.
How would she get out of this number without giving away Rachel's condition? Well, giving away that she was with Rachel in the first place? In addition, why the hell was she so secretive about it? Because it was still so fresh and such an unexpected situation? From time to time, Quinn had to pinch herself to make sure that having Rachel as her girlfriend was true and not some wonderful dream she dreaded to wake up from. Sometimes she wondered if all the exaggerated romantic movies and soaps were truly not a mirror of real life, where wonderful yet crazy things actually happened, even if they seemed too good to be true.
Santana's excited voice pierced through her contemplations.
"I knew it! That's awesome, who is it? Do I know him? Spill, Fabray!"
"Er, um, yes. Actually, you do." God, why did she have to call Santana? She should have known that this talk would end up exactly where it was now. Santana could be like a bloodhound once she caught on to something, she would never let loose , shaking you up until every little detail dropped out of your mouth, regardless if you wanted to or not.
Quinn sat at the other side of the phone line and just bit her lip.
"Hey, Q, you still awake? I'm talking to you." Again, Santana's remark was met with silence. Then Quinn literally heard the wheels clicking in her friend's head.
"Why do you make such a goddam secret out of your relationship? What are you afraid of?"
"I am not afraid of anything, Santana," Quinn stated defensively. "It's just… I don't want to talk about it."
"Come on Quinn, it's me, auntie Santana, you're talking to. How can you give me so much and then not tell the rest, huh? You told me I know the person – good lord," she interrupted herself; "I hope it is not Finn the dork Hudson. Please, you can tell me everything but not this!"
Despite herself Quinn had to chuckle. She calmed her friend. "No, it is not him."
"Good. Good. Anything else will work." She heard Santana breathe a sigh of relief, wondering why that would have been so horrible. Well, leaving the fact that she did not love him and never really had aside.
"What do you mean anything else will work?"
"Any other constellation I can think of is better than the one mentioned before."
"Uhu. And what so called constellation are you thinking of?" Santana would never guess, Quinn was sure of that.
"Hm, there could be Artie, but no. Puck, maybe. But nah, he is in San Francisco. Long term relationships are not a Quinn Fabray thing. So…." All of a sudden, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, I just tried to remember who you still were in contact with after high school and the only person I could remember, who always evoked any kind of feelings in you, however negative they were," she chuckled again, "was Rachel Berry. But she did not play in the other team, neither do you. So I am out of options. Whom did I forget? Come on, Quinn, I am tired of guessing."
"Uh," Quinn was desperately trying to find a way out. Santana's little joke about Rachel had hit its mark. Words failed her and her hesitation gave Santana the last push into the right direction. Facing the inevitable, Quinn squeezed her eyes shut.
"Ooooohhh, waitaminute, no way. Nonononono. No! You're not gonna tell me that…goddammit Quinn, really? You and Berry? Dios mio. When the fuck did that happen?" The three billion question marks behind Santana's questions literally flew through the phone line and punched Quinn in the face.
"Ah, pfffffffffffff…" Quinn let out a deep breath, trying to buy time. "Dunno. Well, no. I do know when it started. We figured it out."
"We?" Santana asked meekly.
"Yes, we, Rachel and I." Quinn was suddenly amused that the news shocked her friend who usually was not shy of words, sometimes almost up to the point of being verbally abusive. However, this piece of news seemed to have robbed her of her speech. So Quinn continued with her explanation.
"To answer your question, it actually started nine years and six days ago, to be exact," she then stated with a laugh. It was too late now anyway, so she could tell her friend the truth.
Apparently, Santana had found her way back to her old self, because the next string of comments came out in a rush peppered with the so familiar Santana curse words.
"Shit Q, honestly, what the hell are you talking about? Are you delirious? You're not gonna tell me that you have been mushing over Rachel already in high school? Fuck, no. I would have noticed. I mean, I even noticed that this big oaf Karofsky was gay, when no one else would have ever gotten behind his little secret, leaving Kurt aside. But Rachel? C'mon, you hated her guts most of the time we spent together in Glee Club!" Santana incredulously exclaimed.
"Obviously I was a better actress than Karofsky. Rachel thought the same, by the way. About me hating her, I mean," Quinn simply stated. Now that the news was out, she felt oddly calm in comparison to the Latina.
"Yeah, but, you and her, you didn't see each other over the past years. At least that's what you told me and don't tell me that you fucking lied to me, Q! That this has been going on behind my back. Then Imma gonna rip your pretty little ass open, I swear!"
"Calm down Santana. Nothing happened over the past years. I … we…just met recently by chance."
Santana was quiet for a second, waiting for a longer explanation. When Quinn did not offer one, she probed again.
"Listen Q, that's not how this works. You're gonna tell good old Santana the details, because if I have to pull every little detail out of your nose, it ain't gonna be pretty!"
"Santana, uh, you know, maybe I am not ready to talk about further details. So either you back off, or I'll just hang up. Your choice." Quinn was starting to get irritated. Usually, she had no trouble with Santana's outspokenness and was just as good at returning her retorts, but Rachel and the details of how they met were just too sensible for Quinn to bring them up. She knew how Rachel felt about other people knowing about her condition. And the more details she put on the table, the deeper Santana would dig. So Quinn had to get her off her back.
Apparently, Santana had caught the serious note in Quinn's voice.
"Ok, Quinn, sorry that I blew off like that. But I really have been wondering about you. You hardly called over the past years, held everyone from the old gang at a distance and even though you and Rachel had become something like friends during our senior year, you never spoke to her anymore over the past years. And all of a sudden, you and she are an item, telling me that you have been in love with her since high school. How do you expect me to react to this kind of news? And yes, I do feel left out and I am a bit jealous that she now gets all your attention when you just managed to call me now, ten fucking weeks after the last time we spoke."
"You know Santana, the phone works both ways and you have my number." It annoyed Quinn immensely that her friends always blamed her for not staying in contact when they as well could call her for a change.
"Yes, I know. I hope if I stay in the city, then we can see each other more often! Man, I still have to digest the news. I can't believe I never saw this coming!"
"You know Santana, I am actually surprised. You really didn't know?" Quinn's anger dissipated over her friend's earlier apology. She tried to picture herself in Santana's shoes and understood her need for reassurance. "You teased me about it, Santana. Remember Senior Prom? You told me in the hallway in front of the Spanish classroom I should stop making out with Berry and help you count the ballots." Quinn laughed quietly. "God, you never knew how much I really would have wanted to make out with her, in retrospect."
"Gee, yeah. Anyway, now you get to do it. Better late than never!" Santana had to laugh. "So, how is she, our famous star? Last I heard she was on Broadway in some famous musical."
Quinn closed her eyes. Then simply stated: "Yes. Funny Girl."
Santana did not react right away, picking up the unspoken vibes. "Ok, there is something you are not telling me. What is it?" Rottweiler instinct.
"It is actually not for me to tell." Quinn tried to stir the topic away.
"What. Is something wrong with our diva? She lost her voice or somethin'?" Santana joked, but it was not lost on her that Quinn caught her breath, ever so slightly.
"Wait, Quinn, sorry, that was a joke. I'll stop making fun of her I promise. She is your girlfriend now, I get it. I am happy for you, honestly. Just have to get used to the thought that you and B-Rachel…" she quickly corrected herself before calling Rachel by her surname. "…are a couple now." She hesitated a moment. "Listen, can we meet for coffee tomorrow? I'd rather talk about this in person with you."
Quinn quickly calculated the time she would have before meeting Rachel for dinner. If she hurried through her morning appointments, she would have some time to share coffee with Santana before seeing Rachel.
"Sure. I won't have much time, but I can squeeze in a coffee with you."
"Gee, thanks for receiving me for an audience, your highness," Santana sneered and Quinn laughed.
They agreed to meet at a small coffee shop called the Coffee Bean that was not so far from Rachel's apartment and it would save Quinn some time since she would not have to go back and forth across the city.
...
After hanging up, she pulled her laptop on her legs and rang through to Rachel, who did not answer. Quinn tried again a couple of minutes later, still no response. Hopefully, Rachel was not asleep yet. She needed to see her face, needed to look into those beautiful eyes to satisfy at least a tiny portion of that absolute longing in her heart.
Finally, her own laptop chimed and she accepted the call, seeing a tired looking Rachel on the other side of the screen.
Hey, Sweet, thanks for calling back. How are you? Everything all right with you? Concern was written on Quinn's face.
Rachel bobbed her head. "Yes, just a little tired. Had to run some errands and had a meeting with my former manager."
Quinn touched a finger to the screen where Rachel's cheek would be. How did it go?
To her surprise, Rachel signed the next sentence.
I will tell you tomorrow, ok? I think I am ready for bed.
And just when Quinn started to get really worried, Rachel smiled. Really, I am ok, stop frowning.
I should have called earlier, sorry. I had Santana on the line. You should have been my priority to be called first when I came home. Quinn felt bad for making Rachel wait.
Quinn, please, it's ok, why do you feel bad for catching up with your friends? They have the same right as I do to get your attention. Besides I've only settled down now, I was busy straightening up and cleaning. I have a date tomorrow; she smirked and wiggled one of her eyebrows.
Is that so? Who is the lucky one?
Fishing for compliments, Quinn?
Yes!
The blonde bluntly stated, which made Rachel laugh and this lightened Quinn's mood a bit to see a little carefreeness replace the serious expression on her girlfriend's pretty face. Though she still wondered why Rachel kept signing. Not that she complained about it, she was just wondering since the past days Rachel had spoken to her almost all the time, which of course had made the conversations a bit easier. She had to admit, she missed her voice.
How is Santana? Quinn saw her girlfriend ask.
Good, she is in New York applying for a job. She wants to stay here.
That's great! Then you two have an easier time to stay in touch if she lives closer!
Rachel was truly happy for Quinn, thinking back on how glad she was that Kurt was also so close to her – again.
We will meet tomorrow for a quick coffee in the afternoon.
Why did Quinn keep feeling uncomfortable talking about other friends with Rachel? Rachel did not expect Quinn to spend all her free time with her, even though that was what Quinn would prefer to do. Maybe she felt guilty because they did not have much time for each other this week and the little extra free time she could squeeze out of the tight schedule she would share with Santana.
"Quinn?" Rachel's voice interrupted her musings.
Sorry, just lost in thoughts.
Let's call it a night, ok? I am happy to see you tomorrow! Rachel then signed.
I miss you! Are you mad that I will also meet with Santana? Before Quinn could reign in her hands, the question was out in the air.
What makes you think that?
A raised eyebrow and a questioning look in the brown eyes showed Quinn that it was an honest query. So the guilty feeling only came from her own musings. It was nothing that Rachel implied.
Sorry, just, I don't know…
"Ok, Quinn, first of all, stop apologizing all the time. Second, did I do anything to give you that feeling? If so, I did not do it deliberately. I know how busy you are and how challenging this kind of job can be and during the high season to juggle everything in the minimal free time you have. So stop blaming yourself."
Quinn nodded. I don't deserve you. You are always so understanding.
"Hm, let's see how you can make it up to me tomorrow." The teasing and smiling from Rachel lifted a bit the heavy feeling in Quinn's stomach and hearing her girlfirend's voice in the end was another special treat.
Ok. I will!
They bade their goodnights, of course not without throwing lots of love and I miss you's through the ether. Still, just like last time it left a little aftertaste of disappointment on Quinn's tongue. She always had the feeling of not being completely connected to Rachel whenever they were talking via Skype. She never experienced this when they were actually together.
Unbeknown to her, Rachel felt the same on the other end. So she tried to focus on the next day. She would surprise Quinn with a self-cooked dinner because Rachel did not want Quinn to worry about preparing dinner if she had been running around like crazy for the better part of the week. She would take her time and really try to prepare a nice meal. The rice and vegetables she had prepared the other night were the only thing she could whip up from scratch, but this time she would really make the effort. Missing chef-talent or not.
Rachel smiled at the thought of treating Quinn with a relaxing "spa" evening at home. Good food, some whine, a nice bath, a massage… The plan started to take form in her mind. With these pictures – that did not display any clothes in them - in her mind she slowly drifted off to sleep.
….
Quinn entered the small café and immediately spotted Santana sitting in the far corner. They hugged each other for a long time, before sitting down and choosing their coffee.
"Good to see you again in person, Q," Santana admitted.
"Yes, I'm happy to see you too, Santana! Have you heard from your job interview?"
The former cheerio shook her head and her black ponytail bobbed from one side to the other.
"No, I have to keep myself from fidgeting and picking up the phone every other minute," she then laughed about herself.
"You know how a watched pot never boils," Quinn offered with a smirk.
"Yes, I do know. That is why I keep it in my pocket now and luckily, I have you to distract me! How is your show going? I meant to come, but so far I have not done one typical tourist thing."
"Oh, that is so Santana. Just don't be average and do what everybody else does. You are just so above things. I guess that hasn't changed," Quinn teased her friend. "Well, my show is still on, so if you want to come, let me know. I am very busy preparing for a concert in parallel. And with all the additional shows scheduled now for the upcoming Christmas season my head is already spinning with all the appointments I have. That does not leave much time for anything else," she sighed.
"Or anyone else," Santana corrected her. "So, I have to admit I am still a bit surprised, but I see that she seems to be good for you. You seem happy. Even though there is something you are not telling me. But I'll get to it." Santana narrowed her eyes and waved a finger at Quinn.
Quinn decided not to latch on to the last comment. "Well, I am very happy. I never would have thought that this would happen. I mean, it took me so many years to figure it out and then having the luck that the other person you hopelessly fall in love with is loving you back, with all your faults, insecurities… wow, that is just such an amazing feeling!" She radiated such happiness that Santana had to smile.
"I know, Quinn. I felt that way when Brittany finally fell in love with me." A wistful expression washed over Santana's face.
"You still miss her?"
"Yeah, in a way. She was my first love. The first woman I was with. I will always love her in a way. We still stay in contact."
"Is that the reason why you came to New York? So you could be closer to her?" Quinn was curious. The two women had been separated for five years and still there seemed to be an unresolved issue between them. None of them was able to let go completely, but they did not want to commit themselves either. Brittany had opened her own dance school three years ago, training young adults, and helping the one or other aspiring actor to improve their moves.
"I don't know. I needed a change, new impulses, needed to get to know new people. Turns out I run into you and Berry," she added with a smirk.
"Well, sometimes old friends are good to have. They can help you settle in. And they can also introduce you to new people. You never know." Quinn thought for a moment. "Listen; let me think about your request from yesterday. I'd like to discuss it with Rachel; obviously this also affects her, in a way. We will find you a place to stay, Santana, I promise." Quinn noticed Santana throwing her a grateful look.
"Thanks. I don't want to impose, you know. I…"
"It's ok Santana, really. Did you know, by the way, that Kurt and Blaine also live in the city? Rachel met Kurt the other day."
"Really? Vaya, then the old gang is almost back together, how cool is that. But hey, don't suggest that we all go out for Karaoke, un uh, not with me!" The Latina waved a dismissive hand through the air and glimpsed something in Quinn's eyes that she could not quite pinpoint. She furrowed her brow.
"Ok, Quinn, I get it that you don't want to talk about it. But whatever it is, whenever you are ready, you can talk to me, ok? I won't press it. But don't swallow too much. One day you might choke on it."
"Thanks Santana, I get it that this is your own charming way of telling me that you have an open ear for a friend in distress. I appreciate the gesture. And … give me some time. We will talk about it sooner or later. Just… not now."
Santana rested her dark eyes on Quinn, studying her silently. Then she nodded. "Fair enough."
They caught up on the whereabouts of their other Glee Club friends, chatting a bit about Mr. Schuester and his wife, until finally coming to Sue Sylvester, wondering how she was doing with her little daughter.
Quinn looked at her watch and saw that it was time to leave, if she wanted to surprise Rachel by being early for their date. The two women paid and walked outside. They hugged for their good-byes, holding each other for a moment when the Latina exclaimed: "Look. Speak of the devil."
Quinn spun around, half-expecting Coach Sylvester standing behind her. Instead, she saw Rachel stopping in her tracks, looking up from the phone in her hand, as if she had felt that she was being watched. She stared at the two other women standing on the sidewalk.
Even from the little distance, Quinn saw the insecurity claim her lover's features. She felt rushed back to that day in the Community Center, when Rachel had worn a similar expression, her eyes darting between them and the other side of the street, her body tense as if ready to flee.
Quinn's color drained from her face. This was not how she had anticipated their date to begin with. What had shocked Rachel so much that she was ready to run? Seeing Santana, someone from her past, or the fact that both women hugged? Quinn had a feeling that whatever happened the day before somehow had left an adverse impact on Rachel.
- RachelBarbraBerry: (That feels like I am writing to one of my own characters... :-)) Sorry for another cliffhanger here… Couldn't resist.