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32 : HANDLING THE BREAK UP*
Steve remained in his Brooklyn apartment after separating with Natasha. It was really hard for him too. He missed her badly but he convinced himself that this separation is for their best interest because they need time to think about everything.
He was lonely, but the pain of the mistrust still stung, but it also conflicted with his desire to see her again.
It's not just the mistrust though. It's something else too. He hurt her way too many times that he couldn't forgive himself. He broke every promise he gave it to her. He said he would never hurt her but he did.
It's all his fault.
He should be more sensitive than this. He thought he give her full attention but somehow he misses the biggest part. He never have a real girlfriend before. Just like what Peggy said, He knew nothing about woman. He just learned the way to so deeply in love with a woman, with Natasha but he seemed to fail the test.
He hurt her. He promised he will not do such thing but he did. He hurt her way too many time. He broke her trust. She did't trust him. He hurt the love of his life. He doesn't deserve her.
He is stupid. He will never ever, in this life or the next, the woman likes Natasha always be out of is league. He isn't worth enough for some one like her.
Maybe he should just disappear from everyone. Let Natasha finds someone better than him. Someone who will never hurt her the way he did.
Someone who she can fully trust.
He knew his mind ran wide for the past week. He was all alone in his Brooklyn apartment after that night that Stark took him to a night club but ended up with Steve came back here, drowning with his sorrow by himself.
He had to no one to talk to, to at least get something out of his mind but he knew better to keep it all to himself.
Sharon was disciplined for her conduct, and would be sent to a SHIELD outpost in Belarus. She still had her one last mission with Steve before he was to be assigned with new partner.
"Let me make this clear, Carter. This is strictly professional." Steve coldly said, not even bothering to look at Sharon.
"I know, Cap"
"If you try anything again, this time, I'm not afraid of hurting you"
They were prepared for their undercover. Mr. and Mrs. Kendrick will attend a gala at the South African embassy. The intel told them that the businessman who was funding the terrorists will attend this event.
Natasha heard female agent gossip about this in the locker room. She didn't like what she heard even though she gave Sharon a lesson, doesn't mean she wouldn't ever try anything again.
She had to make sure.
That night, Natasha followed them and infiltrated the gala using her cover as one of the assistants to the Mayor of New York City.
"Last time I heard, trust is the thing that needs to be restored in your relationship" A voice sounded from her left.
Natasha quickly turned to see the one and only Clint Barton in his tuxedo standing next to her.
"Go and talk to him, Nat" Clint said "This is crazy"
"I'm not going to talk first and I'm not crazy"
"To the point that you are stalking him even at his work… riiight" Clint mocked which earned him a punch from Natasha
"I trust Steve but I don't trust Carter" Natasha said "I have to know that she won't try anything"
"You beat the shit out of her last time. I think she will not try anything with him again"
Natasha stayed until she was sure that nothing will ever happened and left the gala with Clint.
Steve was back in the tower for the first time after their separation because Pepper needed to discuss something with him. It must be really important that she can't discuss on the phone.
"Mrs. Stark, what's the urgent matter?"
"Steve, you need to stop this" Pepper said, more of a begging "This isn't good for both of you. Why do you keep doing this? You're hurt. Natasha's hurt. There's nothing good to come from this separation of you guys"
"What if we get back together and it happens again? It might shatter this whole team, Pepper"
"Is it that hard, Steve? To forgive the one you love"
"Mrs. Stark, what is broken cannot be easily repaired"
"You are seriously not gonna break up with her permanently, aren't you?" Pepper asked
"It needed time to fix. Once the trust was broken, it's the hardest thing to repair" He explained "And I don't want it to happen ever again. I don't want to hurt her or put her through this again. I hurt her twice already and I would rather kill myself if I accidentally hurt her again. This time it's all my fault for letting this happen. It's the best for us to just stay away from each other for now."
"Steve…"
"I appreciate your concern but this is between me and Natasha. Until we figure everything out, it will stay this way"
Unbeknownst to them, Natasha heard the entire conversation
Natasha and Steve were issued new partners, with Natasha being teamed with Maria Hill, and Steve with Sam Wilson.
For over two weeks they didn't speak to each other, but Natasha couldn't resist the urge to view mission recordings of her super soldier, as well as watch his apartment from her car down the block.
"Have you seen him lately?" Maria asked as they prepped for their mission in Shanghai.
Natasha shook her head. "I thought he spotted me last time, so I've been trying to not think about him"
"Well, he's growing a beard. Something that I never thought he'd do"
"He doesn't look good with a beard" she said quietly as Hill walked to the quinjet controls.
"You ready?"
Natasha snapped out of her haze. "Yeah, give me a sec" she said, walking to the co-pilot seat and strapping in.
Steve scheduled his Stark Tower visits around whenever she was out on a mission. He didn't want any awkwardness between them.
"Tell me again what's holding you two back?" Bruce asked.
"I just need to feel the trust is there. She so quickly assumed the worst in me. It hurt, you know?"
"I do know. And I again apologize for doing the same"
"It's ok. Besides, I don't want to hurt her again if we rush back into this. I broke her trust too."
"I understand, Cap"
"Hear Carter got shipped off to Minsk"
"Yup. Fury thought she needed some time to think about being an adult"
"Hopefully she does learn. Can't go around doing that to people. I know she's Peggy's niece, but even Peggy, God rest her soul, would understand the concept of personal space"
"Very true"
Steve looked at his watch. "Gotta go. See you later"
"See you, Cap"
Another two weeks past and Natasha, feeling Steve was never going to take her back, had human resources change her relationship status to single. She felt so excited when she finally got to have it listed, and now felt terribly sad.
Steve learned of this and was sad as well, but he knew she was deserving of happiness.
"So, when are you going to re-enter the dating pool?" Maria asked.
"Not sure. But I definitely know now isn't the time"
"Well, that may benefit both of us. I have a date tonight, and he's bringing along his single friend"
"Oh lord, please don't-"
"I'll do all the paperwork for the next year"
Natasha sighed. "Fair deal"
Steve napped on his couch when his door burst open, springing him awake.
"Steve! What are your plans tonight?" Tony asked.
"Kicking your ass. What the hell, Stark?"
"Cancel. I've arranged for you to go on a date tonight"
"Tony, me and Natasha just separated, I'm in no mood to date"
"Think of it as a friendly one. Come on, Cap, she's a nice girl"
Steve sighed. "Only this once. What's her name?"
"Valerie. She works at the library"
"Library, huh? Suggests she's a very quiet girl"
"She's meeting you tonight at The Greek Bistro. 8 o'clock"
"Alright, Stark"
Natasha sat beside Maria as they waited for their dates to arrive. She got dressed up for the occasion: gold dress, dangling earrings. She even wore the emerald necklace.
"Here they are" Maria said, standing up. Natasha stood up as well. The men arrived at their table.
"Natasha, this is Graeme. And this is your date, Matthew"
"Nice to meet you" she greeted.
"Likewise" Matthew replied.
Steve sat at his table and waited until he saw a curly blonde walk over to him. Kudos to Stark, she was a looker.
"You must be Steve. I'm Valerie"
"Pleasure to meet you, Valerie. Let me get your chair" he said, rising and pulling out her chair.
"Tony said you were a proper gentlemen"
"Tony says a lot of things" Steve replied, trying to stay modest.
Natasha listened as Matthew droned on about his job as a bio scientist at Oscorp. She couldn't be more bored.
"What about you? What do you do?"
Natasha was snapped out of her boredom. Cover story, she thought to herself.
"I work in architecture"
"That's cool. Any neat buildings you got to design?"
"A bank out in Philadelphia, but that's about it"
The conversation then switched to him talking about being a croquet champion. She began looking around the restaurant, looking for a distraction. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Steve sitting at a table 10 feet away with...another girl?!
He had a neatly trimmed beard and wore his service uniform. She felt her eyes burn and her bottom lip quiver. She really missed him.
"I just need to go to the bathroom" Matthew said, Graeme following.
"They've obviously went off to discuss first impressions" Maria said to Natasha.
"Steve's here" she replied. Maria's eyes went wide.
"What? Where?"
Natasha pointed him out.
"Well, I suppose it's nice for him to get back out as well"
"I want him back" Natasha said bluntly.
Steve spotted her a few minutes later. God she was beautiful, he thought to himself. Valerie was discussing her book collection, but Steve's mind flooded with memories.
Their hugs. Their kisses. Her smiles.
He began reflecting to their last night together, and how during their slumber she clutched so dearly onto him, knowing he would be leaving, but desperately holding on for as long as she could. He knew she loved him, but he was still debating her trust in him.
Then he remembered an incident during the Chitauri attack.
Natasha was riding on one of the Chitauri attack vessels, using their own weapons against them. Unfortunately one of them clipped her's, causing it to crash into a building. She leapt out at the last second, but was now hanging for her life on the edge of a building.
Steve saw her and immediately ran over. "Ma'am! Are you alright?"
"Just peachy, Cap. I think I'm gonna fall"
"Drop! I'll catch you!"
"Are you crazy?!"
"Maybe. I promise I'll catch you, you just have to trust me"
Natasha breathed in and let go, falling. Steve held out his arms and immediately caught her.
"You alright?" he asked.
"I am now. Though I still need to get up there"
The memory faded, and Steve was surprised he forgot about that moment. She would never have let go if she didn't trust him. He rubbed his head.
I'm such an idiot, he thought.
"Well, ladies, we have tickets to the theatre tonight" Graeme said.
"Sounds like fun!" Maria said. Natasha needed to get a clear head. She loved Broadway, so she decided to go as well.
"Lets go, then" Matthew said. The group arose and began headed for the door.
"Natasha!" a voice called.
She turned to see Steve run over. Matthew became territorial.
"Can I help you, bud?" he asked.
"I just want to talk to Natasha for a second"
"She's busy" he replied.
Steve turned to her. "Nat?"
She sighed. "Steve, I'm with someone at the moment. I'm sure we can talk later"
Steve looked dejected. "Alright. Just know that...I trust you. And I'm sorry"
She gazed at him, curiously.
"I'll see you around" and he returned to his table. Natasha was registering what he just said.
"Come on, lets go" Matthew said, taking her by the arm.
Steve walked Valerie back to her home.
"I have a great time tonight, Steve" She told him "I'm really looking forward to our next date"
"Actually, ma'am" He said "I do not think there will be a next date"
"Why? What did I do wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong. I just—I'm still in love with the woman I recently broke up with. It wouldn't be fair to you"
"She is very lucky that you love her" Valerie said and leaned up to kiss his cheek "Goodnight, Steve"
"Goodnight, ma'am"
Steve walked back to his apartment alone, taking his time to think straight about everything but he didn't noticing a shadow following him over the rooftop.
He was upset over Natasha's rejection earlier. He'd hoped to have reunited with her, but she elected to go with her date.
He sighed. He leaned against the side of a building and looked up to the starry sky. It reminded him of the time they went away on a trip, and spent a night on the top of a hill, just naming off the constellations and falling asleep, cuddled tightly together for warmth.
He sat down on the couch the moment he was back in his apartment, leaning and looking at the empty ceiling.
"Oh, Nat. When will I get to hold you again?" he said to himself before closing his eyes and slowly drifted off.
That night, he dreamed about her. The redheaded angel was smiling brightly at him.
"Capsicle, my friend Jennifer from MIT will have brunch with you today"
"Stark, I told you yesterday. I will do this only once"
"Who cares?" Tony replied "You are not gonna keep the lady waiting, go and get dressed. She will meet you at Madison Bistro"
"Fine, this is the last time"
Tony waved his hand. Steve got up from the couch and headed back to his quarter. Clint sat down at Steve spot.
"Do you think he will like this one?"
"Maybe" Tony answered "She's a redhead. Spangle has a thing for a redhead"
And Natasha, who just came back from the gym overheard them talking again, she decided to follow Steve and his date once again.
After last night, he told her that he trusted her and he wanted to talk and now he is on a date with another girl, really? Someone had a lot to explain when they finally have this talk.
Steve was shocked when he saw Jennifer. At first, he thought that he saw Natasha. She was a nice person, attractive but she's just not his Natasha.
They were having a lovely brunch until Steve spotted Natasha at the rooftop across the street. Well, someone had a lot to explain when he came back to the tower.
When the brunch was finished. Steve told Jennifer right away that he still in love with the woman he broke up a month ago. She took it well and blessed him with the best of luck to get Natasha back.
That afternoon, Steve spent his time in the gym. He needed to take his mind off Natasha but the door to the gym was burst open loudly and it got his attention.
Natasha walked in, wearing only a sports bra and tight sweatpants.
"ROGERS! You and me in the boxing ring now!" She demanded and stormed into the gym
Steve complied and got into the boxing ring. Without any warning, Natasha jumped on his back and landed several hits on his body. Steve took quite some time to get her off his back.
"So, when you say you need some time to think…" She began before she lunged forward to land a fist on his torso but he stepped aside "You basically meant you wanted to try and date someone else and apparently one of them is the woman that cause trouble in our relationship and I hate her?"
"First of all, my date with Carter is an undercover assignment from Sitwell so I don't have a choice. Secondly, my date with Jennifer and Valerie were set up." He replied before dodging her kick "What about you?! You and whatever that man was named."
"What? Jealous? You shouldn't be jealous because you are the one who kept insisting on playing this game, Rogers. You told Pepper that we might not get back together. I thought you were never gonna take me back after it was almost a month so I decided to go on a double date with Maria. It's time to move on"
"Yes! I'm very jealous." He admitted, her legs were wrapping around his neck. "Satisfied now?"
"Very" She said before Steve flung her down on the mattress.
"When I told you that I trusted you and I was sorry, did you really think about it?"
She flipped him so he laid on his back. Her knee pressed at his neck "I thought about it and that's why I followed you right after you left the restaurant but you walked that girl home"
"You should have said something"
"I know but I thought you were gonna date that girl seriously"
"I told both of them right away that I'm still trying to get over my past relationship" He said and push her off him "And I'm trying to get her back"
"Really?" Natasha asked and raised her eyebrows before she kicked his torso.
Steve caught her leg and flung her down on the floor again "What about you, Romanoff? Stalking my dates and scaring every female agent away" He pinned her down by his hands at her wrists. "What? You think I didn't notice you at the rooftop across the street this morning"
Natasha sighed "Fine! I admit it. I'm stalking you"
"Jealous?" He asked with a smirked "Ouch!" he yelped before laid flat on his stomach, his right arm twisted behind his back and Natasha sat on his lower back.
The spy bent down and purred in his ear seductively "Not one bit, sweetie"
She let go of his hand and gave Steve a chance to stand up. They resumed their fight before Natasha took him down again, this time, he landed on his back and the spy straddled his waist, hand pressed on his chest.
"I trust you completely, Steve. I know you would never hurt me, and I know I would never hurt you" She said, looking right into his baby blue eyes. "I know I'm acting crazy and you have every right to hate me for that"
"I completely understand but I never hate you, Nat. I'm sorry that I don't understand how you feel and ignored your concern. I'm sorry for put myself before you. I'm sorry for putting you through this. I'm sorry that I hurt you again. I'm-"
She cut him off by kissing him softly on his lips
"I forgive you"
"Then let's stop this drama and get back to the way things were, yeah?" He smiled
"Oh thank God" She replied and crushed her lips with his.
They kissed passionately. His arms held her tightly as her hands cupped his face to deepen the kiss. The two souls were one again.
"I've missed you so much" she said between the kiss.
"I've missed you too" He replied and smiled at her lips
"Hey! You stupid kids are back together" Tony exclaimed as he walked in to the gym with others following in suit.
"Congratulations guys!" Clint said
"Let's celebrate!" Thor boomed
AN:
- Thanks to my proofreader and co-writer, Muldoon22
- Thank you to my proofreader, RushmanNatalie!
- Please kindly leave a review!