I don't own Glee and never will. It still belongs to Fox. Though I take the liberty to weave in one or the other character of my own :-).
Thanks again for all your reviews, marking the story as favorite and for continuing to follow our two ladies' path through life and love...
I still enjoy writing the story, so I will carry on a bit :-) (even though I have not as much time as I wish, and I definitely need to cut down on my nightly writing sessions. Again this chapter kept me up more than one night until 2 am or later, the alarm clock just 4 -5 hours away from going off...)
I am even too tired to yawn...
Hope you still enjoy!
Chapter 22
By the time Rachel had finished telling her about the meeting, Quinn had written "fury" on her forehead. The anger that had risen inside her would not let her sit still anymore. She jumped up and started pacing back and forth in front of the bed, hardly capable of containing her anger. Rachel watched her utter a string of words so fast that her hands struggled to keep up with the tirades of swearwords and insults for Sharon Basont.
"That insensible, incredibly hollow brained woman, that bitch! How dare she talk to you like that? She should lose her hearing and see how she would cope if someone accused her of faking it! I can't believe she really said that, I am going to beat the crap out of her, I swear, Rachel!"
"Quinn, stop!"
"I will talk to my manager and let her know what a stupid ass Sharon is. This will have consequences. I…."
"Quinn, please stop!" The pleading in Rachel's voice finally penetrated the blond woman's shield of wrath.
Rachel watched her with big, brown eyes, a mixture of confusions and sadness on her face.
In all her ranting, Quinn had not paid attention to face Rachel so she had not gotten all of what Quinn was saying, or rather shouting, by the looks of it. But she saw enough to piece together the meaning of her girlfriend's raving. Before Quinn could say anything else, Rachel stretched out her arm in a silent plea for Quinn to join her on the bed.
Apparently, she had vented off enough steam to gather herself and sit down opposite the still somewhat worried Rachel.
"Quinn, please calm down. Let's not waste any more energy on what happened. This is over. It's done with. I had a bad feeling from the beginning, but I went to that meeting nevertheless. Now I know I should have trusted my intuition. But whatever happened, we cannot change it, so let us please not waste any more time with thoughts on that woman."
Quinn eyed Rachel with an incredulous look on her features. This time Quinn kept facing Rachel so she could see her word's translation.
"How can you sit there and be so calm about it? I still think Sharon should be told what a brainless twit she is!" She was too aggravated to just sign in silence and shouted the words aloud as well.
"No, Quinn! You will only hurt yourself with that. She has powerful connections in the business. Don't ruin your career for that. It's enough that she thinks that I'm capable of such foul and lousy play."
"But this bitch, how dare she accuse you of such a thing? How can she think anyone would pretend to be deaf? And how can you not want to show her what a fucking asshole she is? Why do you let her do this with you?" Again Quinn's fingers struggled to keep up with her talking. It was still difficult for her to coordinate her hands and voice at the same time, especially if she was upset.
"Because whatever I do, it will not change her mind. Whatever I do, she will turn it that way that I will still stand as the fool. Honestly, I don't have the energy to fight her, neither do I see a reason for it." Rachel's shoulders slumped a bit. "Let her think what she wants. I for my part know that this is not a game."
Quinn studied Rachel for a moment. Then another thought struck her and she quietly signed it.
You think this will have repercussions for you?
Rachel flinched ever so slightly. Barely visible, but for the fraction of a second her eyes flickered down before latching onto Quinn's green orbs again.
"I don't know. It's not like I have been super famous. So what would she gain by it? A small scandal that the press will cover?"
Don't underestimate yourself. You have built up quite a reputation in the business, despite your relatively young age. I heard the talk. And she said that people still asked about you. You left your mark, Rachel.
"Whatever, it's not like I can change or influence anything, for that matter." Clearly, she did not want to dwell on the topic any further.
Quinn reached out and stroked a strand of chocolate brown hair back behind Rachel's ear that had boldly escaped.
I will keep an eye and an ear out. If I hear anything – and I mean anything negative being mentioned outside, I will not stay quiet. I will not let this bitch ruin your name.
Rachel contemplated this for a moment, and then sighed, clearly seeing that she could not deter Quinn from her intention. "Fine. But only if something comes up. And only then. And you will talk to me first before going off single handedly. Promise me that."
She stared hard at Quinn, knowing that in her need for justice it could be possible that she would run off into blind action without consulting her first.
Ok. I promise.
Rachel studied her girlfriend for a long while and then nodded.
Mustering all her courage, she decided to address one other topic. Since she was already at it, she might as well bring the rest out into the open, before she lost the nerve again.
"I am still sorry I reacted so harshly when you asked me about the check-up. Besides the meeting that worked me up, there is also another thing that… that keeps a hold of me." Collecting her valor, she took a deep breath, still having to start over twice before the words would finally flow out of her mouth.
"I….I was not telling the truth," she lowered her gaze, looking at her hands, gulping down another deep breath of air, "…when I said I did not have any hope. Hope is still in me, like a little flame that cannot be drenched. I wish it would, because it holds me back, it does not let me move on. But part of me wishes… wishes so hard…that…I could hear again. At least something. Some noise, some voices, anything. I don't want to be so isolated anymore, feel so disconnected, always depending on someone to interpret, or get out of their ways by writing their thoughts on paper so I can understand."
She took a shuddering breath before continuing with a sad smile.
"But I also know that chances are not that good. That was what the specialists told me after the last operation. My dads don't know that. My doctor just told me and I asked him to keep quiet."
What do you mean? But they want you back for a check up. Quinn was confused.
"Yes, they do. Routine, I guess. Though they told me after the last operation that if I didn't notice any change after a couple of weeks, it would most likely … stay that way. And I haven't noticed any change." The last words were barely above a whisper. "God, Quinn, I might stay deaf for the rest of my life and that thought is just so hard to bear. And I don't want any doctor to tell me that. I don't want to know that for a fact. That would make it so… final. But for now I can still harbor this stupid little piece of hope." She let out a desperate laugh. "I know that does not make sense at all."
When Quinn's arms surrounded her, Rachel let the sobs run free again and they hit Quinn's shoulder, while she leaned her head against it. God, she was getting so tired of crying, wondering if she would ever live a couple of days in a row without the floods running down her face.
After a while, Quinn felt Rachel calm down a little and she withdrew one hand to wipe her own eyes. Then she placed a kiss on top of Rachel's head, noticing that her tears had wet her girlfriend's hair a bit. She gently rubbed the spot and had to laugh.
Rachel lifted her head and asked: "What?"
I drenched your hair. Sorry!
Rachel touched herself on her head, feeling the few wet hairs and had to chuckle. "Jesus, I think we have to drink in at least a gallon of liquids each day to make up for all the water we've lost through crying."
That made Quinn laugh again.
See it as a body cleanse. Every day we wash out all the negative things with those tears. It's basically our daily "Clean" program.
Rachel looked into the green eyes that sparkled with laughter and fell in love all over again with the woman in her arms. She could not help herself, but she was lost in Quinn Fabray. Rachel pressed her lips against her girlfriend's still smiling mouth and they shared a deep and tender kiss, tongues gently touching and exploring.
Rachel was sure she could never ever love another person as much as she did Quinn. If someone had told her some years ago that the one person she loved more than her live would be Quinn Fabray, she would not have believed it. Never. And even though Rachel had seen more in that girl than Quinn herself had known to have in herself, it took a long time for these qualities to be freed. Now that the blond woman openly showed them and stood by them, it was impossible not to fall in love with her. Because she was so considerate, so helpful and supportive, understanding and gentle and caring, it let Rachel see herself also in another light.
Rachel shook her head a little. She felt the strong urge to tell Quinn in some way what she felt.
"Can I show you another song?" She asked almost timidly.
Quinn laughed again.
"Why are you laughing?"
Quinn smiled at the face with the quizzical look in front of her. This is so you!
"What do you mean?" Rachel could not fathom why that made her girlfriend look so gleeful.
Rachel, the music is still in you. Independently from how you want to express it. Even if you do not sing yourself. But you see, it is still there, helping you to express yourself in a certain way. In a different way, granted. Though music is still part of you.
"Oh." She had not consciously considered this, but it was true. At least, the music still helped her to express herself a little, even though she had to keep borrowing the voices of others.
"But what if I forget? What, if over time, all the music inside fades away? What will I do then? What if I forget?" A desperate look crossed her features and anchored itself in her eyes.
Quinn gradually reached out and cupped her lover's face with both hands, gazing back into the large, sincere brown eyes. Then, slowly, very slowly, a smile started to spread across her features. And even before Quinn withdrew her hands to sign, Rachel knew what she was going to say.
Then we will just have to make sure that you don't. We will find a way to keep it alive.
When Rachel looked into those honest hazel eyes, she believed her, again outright astonished how Quinn gave her security and reassurance with just a few words. Though the main message behind those words was always transmitted through her eyes. This gave Rachel an anchor that routed her to the ground and gave her stability as she ventured out into her new world on still somewhat shaky legs.
Slowly she detached herself from Quinn and searched on her laptop for the song she had in mind. It was a song from a German band Rachel had heard when one of her colleagues sang it in their dressing room one evening. At her request, she let Rachel listen to the original song on her MP3 player and even translated it for her. The petite woman asked to listen to it three more times until they had to take their positions on stage. She was so smitten with the song that Anna brought her the original CD the next day and gave it to her as a gift.
Rachel handed Quinn a translation of the lyrics. She had written them some time ago with silver ink on a dark red sheet of paper.
The blond woman's eyes flew over the page, softening more with each line. Finally, she lifted her gaze again, eyes speaking for themselves how touched she was by those words.
This is so beautiful, Rachel. Can I keep this?
Rachel nodded with a shy smile.
After clicking on play, she wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist and leaned her head against her shoulder.
Ja (Yes*)
Ich bin verloren in deiner Mitte (I'm lost in the midst of you)
machst mich zum Kämpfer ohne Visier (you turn me into a fighter without a visor)
Alles gedreht, Sinne wie benebelt (Everything's turned, my senses are reeling)
Ich bin so heillos betrunken von dir (I'm so hopelessly intoxicated by you)
Du wärmst mich auf, mit deinem Wesen (You warm me with your essence)
und lässt nicht einen Zentimeter unverschont (and you don't leave one centimeter untouched)
Du flutest alle meine Decks mit Hoffnung (You flood all my decks with hope)
auf ein echtes Leben vor dem Tod (for a genuinely real life before death)
Und ja ich atme dich (And yes, I'm breathing you)
Ja ich brenn für dich (Yes, I burn for you)
Ja ich leb für dich (Yes, I live for you)
jeden Tag (every day)
und ja du spiegelst mich (and yes, you mirror me)
und ja ich schwör auf Dich und jede meiner Fasern (and yes, I swear by you, and every fiber in me says yes)
Midway through the song Quinn started moving in a dance, swaying them both back and forth very slowly, their bodies joined in unison to the music. As hardly perceptible as their dance moves were, it bathed them in an intimate connection where both women lost every sense of their surroundings. Even though Rachel could not hear the music, she let herself be swept away by the sensual movements.
Es ist noch immer so schwer zu glauben (It still isn't always so easy to believe)
wie du die meisten meiner Fehler übersiehst (how you look past most of my faults)
Du erdest jeden meiner Gedanken …(You ground each of my thoughts)
verleihst Flügel wenn Zweifel überwiegt (lend your wings when doubts prevail)
Und ja ich atme dich (And yes, I'm breathing you
Ja ich brenn für dich (Yes, I burn for you)
Ja ich leb für dich (Yes, I live for you)
jeden Tag (every day)
und ja du spiegelst mich (and yes, you mirror me)
und ja ich schwör auf Dich und jede meiner Fasern (and yes, I swear by you, and every fiber in me says yes)
Ja zu jedem Tag mit dir (Yes to every day with you)
Ja zu jedem deiner Fehler (yes to every fault you have)
Asche und Gold, ich trag alles mit dir (Ashes and gold, I'll shoulder it all with you)
Denn ich bin und bleib verloren ('cause I am and will remain lost)
in deiner Mitte, (in your midst)
in deiner Mitte (in your midst)
bis der Vorhang fällt ('til the curtain falls)
Und ja ich atme dich (And yes, I'm breathing you)
Ja ich brenn für dich (Yes, I burn for you)
Ja ich leb für dich (Yes, I live for you)
jeden Tag (every day)
und ja ich liebe dich (and yes, I love you)
und ja ich schwör auf Dich und jede meiner Fasern (and yes, I swear by you, and every fiber in me says yes)
As the song ended, Quinn danced them towards the desk and pressed the auto repeat button, not wanting this moment to end. Rachel smiled at her action and snuggled back into the arms that were only made to hold her. She knew the effect that the song had on her the first time she heard it. Being single at that time, it made her yearn for someone to hold while listening to it. It was overwhelming to realize that she had finally found the kind of love the song described.
The female singer's sensuous voice filled the room again and Quinn thought she was the luckiest woman on earth to have someone like Rachel in her arms, being able to love her and be loved back. The song had a beautiful instrumental part at the end that touched her almost more than the actual lyrics. The slow beat of the drums seemed to mirror her heartbeat as she held Rachel so close, inhaled her scent and felt the tingles race up and down her skin. Each line of that song seemed to be true as she felt every part of her body ache for Rachel's touch, longing to feel her skin under her fingers.
Rachel lifted her head and gazed at Quinn. She drank in the view as Quinn had her eyes closed, wearing an expression of sensual arousal.
That view was more than alluring to Rachel. Quinn opened her eyes and unerringly met the brown irises looking up at her.
In a bold move, she scoped up the smaller woman in her arms. Rachel let out a gasp of surprise and quickly linked her arms around Quinn's neck. She let herself be lowered gently on to the couch, where Quinn slowly lifted her shirt and started placing little kisses on her exposed skin, causing Rachel to moan softly. This small sound turned Quinn even more on. God, she never knew that a voice could do that to her. But hearing Rachel omit these small sounds of pleasure was better than music to her ear. She stopped abruptly and looked up.
"What?" there was a slight desperate sound to Rachel's voice, disappointed that Quinn stopped her advances.
I am being selfish, Quinn stated bashfully.
Rachel propped herself up on her elbows, clearly confused.
"Why?" If someone was selfish, it was she, lying on the couch and thoroughly enjoying Quinn's affections.
Because I hear you making these incredible little noises with your voice and I keep on listening to that beautiful music and … and you can't.
"But Quinn, I started this song." Rachel skipped over the first part of Quinn's sentence. "Why do you feel bad about it now?"
Because I remembered what you told me earlier. How you so badly wanted to hear again. And I sit here and enjoy …. And you… and … Failing to find the right words Quinn dropped her hands.
Rachel sat up and faced her girlfriend, noting the pain in her green eyes. "Quinn. I appreciate the thought. As much as I wish I could also hear that song, I can't. And yes, the more I dwelled on it just now, the harder it gets to bear. But it does not change anything. And you tearing yourself apart over it won't help either." She reached out and pulled her closer, resting her forehead against Quinn's.
"Let's not have any more drama today, ok? I could use a little distraction. Can we go back to what we were doing just now? Me, lying on the couch and you kissing every part of my body?"
After a moment, she felt Quinn nod against her head. Then Rachel sensed her lips on her own as Quinn gently pushed her back on the couch with that kiss.
Quinn took in the sight of her girlfriend sprawled on the couch; her luminous chocolate colored eyes fixed on her face, following her every movement while she continued kissing her way across the tanned skin of her belly. God, she was so in love with this woman.
The music was still playing in the background and Quinn tried to transmit every single note she heard through her kisses and caresses, slowly taking them into the night.
…
The next morning, Quinn reluctantly got up to drive to her rehearsal. Luckily, it was only a short session and she had the afternoon off. Rachel was still asleep and she did not want to wake her. Gently she placed a kiss on her cheek and trailed her hand over the naked shoulder that poked out from under the covers. She wanted to stay so much, slip under the covers and feel every inch of Rachel's skin on her own. Slowly she tore herself away from the view. Temptation was nudging her to take a picture of her sleeping beauty with the dark, tousled hair, so she could take her with her.
Just as she closed the apartment, her phone rang. While walking down the hallway, she plucked it out of her bag. Who was such an early morning person to call her at that hour? It was only seven a.m.. She threw a glance at the display and answered.
"Hi Santana."
"Q, we need to talk," Santana answered without preamble.
"Well, a good morning to you too and no, you did not wake me, thank you for your concern. What do we need to talk about?" Quinn was curious..
"Rachel."
When nothing further in terms of an explanation came from the Latina's side, Quinn prompted her: "Why?" Cautiousness was creeping into her tone, wondering what the hell that was all about.
"Q, I still… listen, this… you could have told me. I can't stop thinking about it."
"Told you what exactly?" Quinn was confused. She stepped outside the building and waved at a passing cab.
"About Rachel's new haircut, duh, whaddaya think? I mean her having had a freaking accident that left her deaf. Honestly, a little warning would have been nice."
Quinn got into the waiting taxi and told the driver her home address. She had forgotten to bring a change of clothes the day before which annoyed her immensely, because she had to make the detour that cost her precious minutes more on bed with her girlfriend.
Turning back to her friend on the phone she asked: "A warning? What is she, some kind of danger? It was not planned that Rachel would run into us. She was as shocked to see you as you were to see her. It was just a coincidence that you met each other on that day. Then again they say that coincidences do not exist, that everything happens for a reason. Maybe it just had to be. Besides, it was not my call, Santana. It is solely Rachel's choice to tell somebody about it or not."
"Look, Q.I can understand that you are protective of her. But…"
"No Santana, no 'but'! I won't patronize her. And that includes telling other people about her accident. She has her own reasons to not want it to become public and I respect that. She didn't even want to tell me when we first met. Can't you imagine how it must be for her if other people, especially people who knew her from before, see her now?"
"Ok, I … I am sorry, I did not want to upset you. I can imagine that this whole thing must be so fucking hard for her. I mean, how does she cope?"
"Santana, why don't you ask her that yourself?"
"Yeah, and how am I supposed to talk to her? I don't know how to do this… sign language stuff."
"Well, we communicated through writing in the beginning. Remember, Rachel told you about it."
"Right."
Quinn heard Santana huff on her side of the phone.
"Ok, Santana, spill. What's the deal here? I did not think that it was superficial Santana bullshit when you told Rachel that you would like to meet her again. Or was I wrong? Because that is not what she needs, more people who will tell her fucking trash and lies. She's just had a shitload of that and I am that close to killing one particular person." Quinn had talked herself into a rage.
"Whoa, Q. Calm down. Whatever happened with that other person, I don't plan on hurting Rachel, ok?"
"Ugh!" Quinn clenched her phone harder just at the thought of Rachel's recount from the day before. She was not sure if she should tell Santana, but then opted to do it. She needed to tell someone, it was her pain as well. So she repeated what Rachel had told her about Sharon Basont and when she finished, she could literally see the fumes that Santana emitted coming out of loudspeaker of her phone.
"WHAT!?" Quinn quickly held her mobile a good ways away from her ear, lest she also wanted to go deaf from her friends screaming. Even then she could still hear every single word the Latina hatefully threw through the line. When Santana apparently had blown off enough of her first rage, the blond woman cautiously placed her phone against her ear again.
"Is it safe to hold the phone close again or are you going for a second round of ranting?"
"Quinn, this fucking bitch, how dare she say something like that? This woman needs to be taken down, honestly! How did Rachel take it?"
"Well, as you can imagine she was quite dismayed by this. I think it really brought her down. She just told me about it yesterday, but I had talked to her on that evening after it happened and she was quite sad and exhausted. But listen, she made me swear that I would not start a war against that bitch. As long as there is nothing out in the press, she does not want me to act against her. And neither will you!"
"Quinn, c'mon, that can't be true, even Rachel Berry has to have a limit as to how much she can take. Even after telling her into her face such fucking bullshit and blatant lies she would not want to justify herself? We cannot accept that, Q. No way!"
"'We', Santanta?" Quinn asked with a half-smile.
"Yeah, well, you know what I mean. I kinda started to like Rachel in our senior year. She gave me a picture of herself and I even pinned on my locker door," she confessed before continuing. "And now I … I don't know, I somehow see her in a totally different way – nothing bad, don't get all worked up, I mean in a good way and she is your girlfriend, and that brings me also closer to her."
"Uhu, is that is just some twisted Lopez logic saying, she's my friend and I wanna cover her ass? I get it. However, don't go off on Sharon Basont, no matter what you hear or see without talking to me first! Nevertheless keep your ears and eyes open, maybe you hear something through your high strung VIP clients whose butts you're kicking," Quinn told Santana, almost falling back into her old cheerios captain mode. She noticing how her pulse quickened again at the worry of Sharon planning anything to ruin Rachel's name out of her perverse need to show the world she had the last word and no one toyed with her. Even though the manager was too blind in her self-righteousness to recognize truth from lies.
"Fine. I will stay back. For now," Santana complied and she heard Quinn take a deep breath to calm herself.
"Ok, sorry I snapped at you earlier, Santana" Quinn paused for a moment, steering herself away from this aggravating topic. She turned back to their earlier subject of conversation, hoping to find the right words to convince Santana not only to be a friend behind Rachel's back, fighting for her rights, but also to honestly tell her so in person.
"Santana, don't be afraid to talk to Rachel. Approach her honestly and tell her about your insecurity. This way she can at least understand how you stand towards her. I noticed it works best to openly ask her things. It's not like her deafness is something you can ignore, Santana. So if you want to arrange yourself with it somehow, talk to her about it. Believe me, she prefers open honesty compared to feigned ignorance or pretense that nothing is wrong and all is as it was before. Because it isn't."
Santana was silent.
"What's wrong? You seemed ok with it yesterday. What happened between then and now that you are so evasive? You offer to cover her back and fight for her justice but you still are afraid to speak to her directly?"
"I don't know. I guess it shocked me more than I thought. Through a freaking accident she suddenly lost everything she ever lived for, god that really scared me."
"Ah, now we are getting somewhere."
"Yeah, I mean, don't tell me you have not thought about how quickly life can change. One second you are on top and whooof, the next you're picking up the shards of your shattered life."
Quick displayed a little smile, unseen by Santana.
"Believe me, Santana, I know. One of the reasons why I finally sat down the other night to call you. But you know, that is just how life goes. You probably cannot always win. Then again, that depends on what you define as your prize. Rachel told me the other day that if she had not had that accident, we probably never would have met. Most likely I would still be secretly following her on the internet like a maniac stalker while she would still be wondering what happened to me. But no matter how hopeless her current situation seemed, we found each other through all of it. Even though she lost a lot on one side, she - we," she corrected herself, "also gained a lot on the other."
"And how do you cope with it, with her deafness, I mean? Didn't it shock you when you found out? I don't know if I could have reacted the way you did. That was kinda brave, Q, what Rachel told me. I was quite impressed, to be honest."
"Yes it did throw me completely off balance. It felt like someone had pulled the floor out from under my feet, but at that moment I did not just think about me or what it meant for me. I only thought about Rachel, I only saw her. The one person that was so important in my life and I was so determined to not let her slip away. She experienced such a life-shattering event and for all the years I had ignored her, I instantly knew that I could not run any further. That I had to face everything and that I had to show her that I would be there. No matter what. No more running. And yes, it hurts to know that her dream is lost to her, that all she has lived for is gone. She has to start all over again. But there is something in her that drives her. And I want to help her find it and a new path in her life, wherever it will lead."
Santana digested the words for a moment. "Yeah, I get that. I mean, she really surprised me. I would have freaked out in her situation. But then she came up to me and asked me if I was ok, that really got to me."
Quinn chuckled. "Yes, she surprised me with some of her reactions as well." And she proceeded to tell her friend about her e-mail with the song text she accidentally sent to Rachel and how she reacted to it.
"Wow Quinn, you would have deserved a beating for that one," Santana huffed. "I probably would have whacked you senseless."
"That's why I am with Rachel and not you. She is not so much into whacking people like others," Quinn retorted smugly.
Santana chose to ignore that comment.
"I always knew she had drive. But this whole thing, made her… I don't know. I see her with different eyes. It somehow seems to make her grow even more."
"Santana, why don't you tell her that. I am sure she would be glad to know how she is seen through somebody else's eyes. She already knows I love her, but to hear something positive from you would probably make her happy."
"Yeah, maybe you are right. I'll think about it, ok Quinn? And don't worry, I am not going to do anything to hurt her."
Quinn smiled. "Good to hear that, otherwise we would have one of our famous cat fights. Only this time I would whack you senseless, as you so nicely put it."
"Uh, now I am scared," Santana retorted.
"You better be!" Quinn laughed. "Well, I have to go. Let's check later if we can get together again soon, ok?"
"Yeah, that'd be great. Have a nice day, Q. And tell Rachel I said hi."
"Ok, I will. Bye."
Quinn dropped her phone in her purse and got her wallet out to pay. Santana was one of a kind, she had to admit. But once you got her to show you her true self, you gained an invaluable friend in her who would walk through fire for you. It would be nice to know that Rachel had someone like that besides her and Kurt.
(*Song "Ja" (Yes) by Silbermond, translation partly provided by brightswan on lyricstranslation . com)
Coco: the "Clean" program is for you :-)
TheIrishGilmore: Thanks for the great discussion we had. It gave me a little more clarity and took the pressure off!
Nicole, again thanks for always giving me quick feedback, even though you are still writing on your own story (check out her 'For Always' Faberry story, it has a great AU setting!)