Chapter 18: White...Angel...Sadness

Darkpaw...

I hate voices in my head now. Hate them. Absolutely hate them. We're being attacked by a possessed tom who's stronger than me. Stronger than me. That doesn't happen. Ever. Ever. And I can't do anything about it. At all. I can't move, speak, I can't even unsheathe my claws to look like a cliché hero who will never die. Believe me, with what I felt then, I did not feel like a cliché hero that would never ever die a horrible painful death. Because that's the only death a cliché hero won't die from, unfortunately.

Darkpaw...wake up...we...

Ugh. Why can't they just leave me alone? I'm sure I've done nothing wrong. I'm sure I been a good little kit for the nice scheming mind readers. How do mind readers even exist anyway? That shouldn't be possible. Why do I even believe these mind readers are even real? I guess the mind readers are making me think all of these crazy thoughts so I'll doubt myself and get killed.

Darkpaw!...please...do not die...we...

What are they trying to say? I don't understand. Of course I'm going to die. I was flung across the gigantic ShadowClan clearing. I went over 50 tail-lengths into the air. I crashed onto the ground at a very fast speed. I was bleeding from everywhere. Of course I'm going to die. I'm going to slowly fade from existence, and then I'm going to not breath anymore.

PLEASE!...

There was a white flash in my already fading vision. Seriously? Apparently I am the cliché hero who will never die a horribly painful death. I'll just de from old age, I guess. That's the only thing cliché heroes die from. As the whiteness decreased, I felt wetness on my cheek. Crying? I also heard it. Some cat crying because I was dying.

"Congratulations, Cat. You've passed the first test. I guess StarClan cares about you after all."

I flinched. There was a different voice this time. A very different voice. A raspy one. One that was a bit more familiar. But I couldn't place it.

"I'll be back, though. I swear on my position as a caring mother."

Opin. That's the only word I could think of. Opin. She wanted to kill me. How gracious of her. To want revenge on the kit who had no choice but to kill his mother. On the kit who was scared to death and only found comfort in his sister, who he also killed. Thanks soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for caring about me mother! I'll never forget it!

"Oh, Cat. I've always hated you. Remember, though, that mother's always near when the blood appears."

The light suddenly vanished, and I gasped for air. Was I not breathing that whole time? Did I just seriously come back from the dead? Wow. That would make me an extreme cliché hero.

"Darkpaw?" It was Nightpaw's voice. The one that was calling me while I was dead. She was crying? The emotionless one was crying? Because of me? Or because half of the Clan was dead? She sniffled, and I heard a soft sigh, "You're okay..."

I slowly opened my eyes. I was definitely not where I was when Blaze made me fly like disabled bird. There were more trees. Less light. More sounds of nature. It wasn't ShadowClan camp. It wasn't the medicine cat den. So where was I? I tried to sit up, but my head was pounding way too much. Nightpaw immediately pushed me gently back down onto the forest floor.

"Do not try to move. Blaze got you pretty badly." She mewed. Not with her normal emotionless voice. Just...like how a normal cat would speak, "Do not try to speak either." She added when she saw my mouth open to talk, "Blaze suddenly recovered from his little...possessed state. Right after you had...stopped breathing for a little while. Blaze is currently locked up just in case he gets to be...possessed...again."

I sighed with relief. If too many cats had died, I would never forgive myself. I closed my eyes, and tried to go back to sleep. Maybe it would ease the pounding in my head. But it didn't. If anything, it made my head hurt more. It was strange. My head was pounding, and I found it difficult to breathe. Was I going to die after all? Then I realized the weight on my stomach. I opened my eyes carefully. Nightpaw had fallen asleep. Apparently, she found me a comfortable bed. I just growled and pushed her off. Even after finding out she had killed a cat, I couldn't kill her. Maybe it takes more than one cat killed of cold-blood for my killing instincts to take over.

I'm coming.

Joann's voice. Her words. For once, I felt happy. She wasn't waiting, she was coming. That's a relief. When she came, I could talk to her about everything and everything would be perfect again. I tried standing up, this time without getting a serious headache. Nightpaw was sprawled on the forest floor, sleeping like a kit. I held back a growl, knowing I would have to carry her back to camp or everyone would have thought the worst happened.

"Angel..." Nightpaw murmured in her sleep.

I ignored it. Dreams were mostly just a bother to me. Besides the one where I died. Or the one where Joann said she was waiting. Other than those, dreams were useless. Yes, I've heard that medicine cats and leaders had 'special' dreams. Yes, I know that those dreams usually determine the fate of all the Clans. Well, even if she was having one of those dreams, it certainly wasn't about me.

"Angel..." Nightpaw whispered again.

I growled again and picked her up, heaving her onto my back. Once I got her back to the camp, I would sleep, and everything would be normal. Hollystar would train me and I would leave. Never to be heard from again. Unless someone stumbles across my secret den and finds me. But they'd be killed, so it didn't matter anyway.

"Frost and angel..." Nightpaw started speaking again, "Mother and angel..."

This time, I froze. Mother. Opin declared herself as mother. Blaze said mother was coming. What the heck was actually going on here?

She didn't say anything else, so I moved on. I let 'mother' escape from my mind. I needed to forget about anything that happened to me that involved the unexplained. I like explainable things. It comforts me. To know that things are explained. Which is why I'll never truly believe in whatever heaven these cats believe in. It's not explainable. When you die, you should just fade out of existence until no one remembers you anymore.

"Darkpaw!" Hollystar mewed as she saw me enter the camp. She glanced at the slightly mental medicine cat on my back, "Um...what are you doing?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm throwing her down the pit." Hollystar's eyes widened, as if she believed me. I might not lie, but sarcasm was one of my specialties, "No, I'm throwing her down a stupid pit!" Hollystar calmed down a bit, "She fell asleep, so I carried her back so cats didn't start to worry that she was dead in a big pile of blood."

Hollystar nodded, "Well, drop her off at the medicine cat den, and meet me at the entrance. We still have time to at least talk about your little curse."

I obliged. As I walked towards the medicine cat den, cats began giving me glares. I figured it was because I had the medicine cat on my back, but apparently it was something different. Cats started to growl and hiss at me.

"Blaze tells us you're from the Place of no Stars."

"Is that true?"

"Why don't you go back to your little grave, fox-heart!"

"You're a lying snake!"

"We don't need another battle, go home and tell your little buddies we're ready this time!"

I rolled my eyes, ignoring them. I didn't care. Name-calling didn't bother me. Nothing that was relative to teasing bothered me. I have a heart of ice, and nothing can melt it.

So why was it when I dropped Nightpaw off in the medicine den and met Hollystar, I felt...sad?

I want to thank The Creek in the Mountains for being my #1 reviewer!

-Moon