Usual Glee disclaimer...

Catrick: Yeah, I admit, a lot is lost (with the old cast gone especially). Sigh...

nightcuddler: Heard you squealing :-)

summer1234: Thanks again so much for the interesting exchanges!

Thank you again to all of you leaving reviews and following my story!

28 chapters, can you believe it?

Chapter 28

The following week, the beginning of December, hosted one of the rare days in which Quinn and Santana were actually both home at the same time. On Monday they stood in the kitchen early in the afternoon, sharing some coffee. The personal trainer had her day off and Quinn had already been at a rehearsal in the morning. No show was scheduled for this evening for Quinn. She had the rest of the day off, happy to catch up with her friend and waiting for Rachel to come over.

Looking at the clock on the oven, she wondered where her girlfriend was. She had promised to come by after lunch. It was already past two. She had not sent a message, neither did she respond to Quinn's texts. It was unlike Rachel and Quinn started to worry a bit. Then again, they should have agreed on an exact time. 'After lunch' could mean anything between twelve pm and twelve am. She would patiently wait another couple of minutes before snatching up her phone again. To distract herself, she focused back on her friend.

Santana had a date - "It's not a date!" was the Latina's repeated statement whenever Quinn mentioned it – later in the evening. That would leave her and Rachel the apartment to themselves and Quinn already had a nice plan on how to make the best use of it.

Shifting her weight onto the other foot, leaning against the counter with her hip, the blonde sighed.

"God, it feels so nice not having to rush off again within the next minutes. I am not sure how I am going to survive until my Christmas break," Quinn groaned. "I should start buying shares from the cab companies, as often as I drive back and forth across town currently. I would become rich just by being their best customer."

"Gee Q, get a grip on yourself. You are on your way up the career ladder, so stop whining. I know you like what you are doing," Santana offered no compassion.

Quinn chuckled at the rebuke. "Yeah you are right. Still, my schedule is crazy most days. Days like this are a rare gift, especially with Christmas so close." She took another sip of the dark brew. "Listen, I need your help. I am planning something and I could use some extra hands and an honest opinion on my ideas." Over the rim of her cup, she looked at the Latina to gauge her reaction.

"Sure, what are you planning? Something nasty and dirty?" Santana wiggled her eyebrows. "Anyway, I'm game!"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "God, Santana, get laid! It's been how long? Every time, our conversations end up with you throwing the words nasty and dirty through the room. You that desperate?"

"What makes you think I only have sex on my mind?" Santana played the offended. "I can very well contain myself. I pledged a vow of celibacy until New Year."

Quinn snorted. "Yeah, right. Like – not! Glad you got that date tonight. Play it right and you might get a nice treat. And then we can finally have a normal conversation without ever landing on the same old topic."

"Ugh, yeah, right. If that's the only thing you have to endure, go pity yourself. I heard you and Rachel snogging more than once and I am not just talking about all the kissing and stuff." She rolled her eyes. "Besides, it's not…"

"… a date," Quinn finished. "I got it. Who are you meeting with, anyway? You are making such a big secret out of it."

Santana placed the cup on the counter top and ran her index finger along the rim.

Quinn narrowed her eyes and studied her friend.

Curious.

She had never been shy to boast about her relationships or dates. What made her act like that now?

"Are you meeting Brittany?" She then asked.

Santana's head lifted abruptly. "No!" Then she let out a breath. "No. I don't think it would be good to see her at the moment. I am tired of this game of yoyo we have been playing. Being together, breaking up, being together again only to break up once more. I lost count after the third time." Santana fiddled at a non-existent stain on the wooden surface of the worktop. Then she continued.

"As much as I still like Brittany, I don't see a future for us. Not if we both don't change or look at things differently. Otherwise we will only end up in the exact same spot. I don't want that anymore. I want to move on." The Latin raised her dark eyes and looked at Quinn. "I want to experience some happiness again, without the heavy burden that all the history brings along. You know what I mean?"

Quinn nodded.

"I want something like what you and Rachel have. Something deep and true. Something that makes you want to fight for the other person with your life. I want someone who helps me grow, who understands me and accepts me. And I want to offer the same to my partner. I like how you two complement each other and how each of you accepts the unique facets of the other person. And I really do hope I can also bring to my other half – should I ever encounter her - the same fulfillment as you do for each other."

Quinn had to admit that she had underestimated a bit on how lonely Santana must feel. This was one of the rare moments where her friend actually shared some of her thoughts, without the tough pretense she built around it. Quinn felt a bit guilty for not having been a better friend over the past year. And she was immensely happy that Rachel had suggested for the Latina to move in. She was also a bit surprised that Santana had this particular view on her and Rachel's relationship.

In a quick impulse, she hugged her friend. Quinn actually enjoyed having her as a roommate and was in no rush for her to find an apartment.

"Santana, I am sure you will find someone who will be your soul mate." She stated with emphasis. Tilting her head to the side, she then asked: "Care to tell me who you are meeting with?"

Santana hesitated for a moment, before deciding to tell Quinn.

"I am meeting with Jenna."

Carefully, she watched Quinn's reaction. She was not doing anything forbidden, so Santana wondered why she felt a bit guilty. But since Jenna was one of Quinn's close friends, she did not know how she would react, knowing that they had been meeting without telling her.

"With Jenna?" Quinn repeated. "Why is this such a secret? It's not like we are exclusive friends or anything," she then laughed. "Though I wonder why she has not told me anything about it either," she then mused.

They had talked shortly on the phone the evening before. Jenna had wanted some professional guidance from Quinn regarding the characterization of her role. In the end, it had taken a little longer for the theater to decide on whom to cast, calling four of the applicants back for a third audition. In the end, she was actually cast for the role she had auditioned for.

Rachel, Santana and Quinn had invited Jenna for a nice dinner at their apartment to celebrate her success. It had been quite an enjoyable evening again and Jenna had been pleased to receive such a nice celebration.

Thinking back to the evening and then to the first dinner party they had held, something clicked in Quinn's brain.

"Oh. My. God. Wait a second." Then she had to laugh, which irritated the hell out of Santana.

"What's so fuckin' funny?"

"I just remembered the conversation we had when you asked me about my date just when I got together with Rachel. Remember that phone call?" She watched Santana nod.

"Yeah. So?"

"Well, I think – correct me if I'm wrong – there was something going on between the two of you the first time you two met here. There were some vibes shooting back and forth. And regarding this conversation we had, you had been so surprised, because neither me nor Rachel had been interested in women before, leaving all the history between us aside. Now this seems to be a similar situation between you and Jenna, since she has not been with a woman before and you two kept it so secretive. Seems to me like a little history repeating." Quinn smiled broadly at her friend.

"Well, nothing has happened so far. We have had some really intense and interesting talks. I like her. Though I am not sure she likes me in the same way."

"Oh, from how I see it – and Rachel is with me on that page – Jenna seems to be attracted to you as well."

"Ya think?" Santana asked doubtfully.

"God, for someone who can usually read people like an open book, you are pretty blind when it comes to Jenna."

"Maybe I just don't want to get my hopes up. And I don't want to scare her away. Even if she is interested in me, she has never been in a relationship with a woman. This is all new to her."

"Santana, just take it as it is, slowly and one step at a time. That, in my experience, works best. And don't shut yourself off. Let her get to know you. The real you." With the last sentence, she pointed at Santana's heart. "Don't hide behind your outer veneer."

Sensing that her friend was reluctant to go further, she changed the topic slightly. "Anyway. What are you two doing tonight? Movies, dinner or both?"

"No movie. We are going to dinner and then maybe out for a drink later. We found this nice little bar with some cool music and just the right size. Not too big to be swamped with people but enough to give it a nice atmosphere, you know what I mean?"

Quinn nodded. "Sounds nice. Say hello to Jenna from me, ok? And tell her that she does not have to keep it a secret anymore next time we talk," Quinn smiled.

Then she took up the initial topic she wanted to discuss. "So, regarding the thing I need your help with, I have been thinking…" and she filled Santana in on a little event she was planning shortly before Christmas. The Latina took up her idea enthusiastically. She helped shaping it by throwing her own thoughts in and soon they had come up with a nice plan.

"I am sure Kurt is also game, as well as Jenna," and Quinn batted her eyelashes at Santana when she pronounced her friend's name. The Latina rolled her eyes.

"What about Blaine? What's it with him and Rachel anyway? He seems so different from the Blaine I knew from school."

Quinn shrugged. "Don't know. Maybe he is insecure about how to approach her. Though I agree, he seems so different. Wonder what his problem is. Hopefully Kurt can talk some sense into him."

"Yeah, otherwise I will do it." Santana simply stated which earned her a stern look from Quinn.

"Give Kurt a chance first." Then after a moment Quinn added: "Oh, I really hope my plan is working out," and she grinned at the thought of the many nice things she had planned for one particular day soon to come up.

... ... ...

Rachel and Quinn had decided it was easier to each have a key of the other woman's apartment, not needing to ring the bell all the time. Very unceremoniously they had exchanged them some days ago. However Rachel had asked Quinn to still announce her presence by turning the lights on and off should she not immediately notice her enter her apartment. She did not want to be scared by suddenly seeing someone in front of her without having been able to hear her come in.

Rachel entered Quinn's apartment and found Santana and her girlfriend standing in the kitchen, chatting animatedly. They did not notice her come in until she closed the door. Both heads swirled around to look at her.

"Sorry, did I interrupt you two in something? I hope you weren't making out," Rachel remarked with a slight smile when she saw the guilty looks on both their faces.

"Nope, tried that at Mr. Shue's wedding, I'm not Quinn's type," Santana answered wryly while Quinn quickly raised her hands to interpret.

"Right. My type is slender, has long brown hair, brown eyes with lashes like little centipede feet and lips to die for." Quinn answered signing in parallel now that Rachel had joined them. Then she threw a look over her shoulder towards her friend: "Sorry Santana, you might answer to some of those attributes, too, but naaaah," she shook her head, "not my type." She admitted, laughing.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "So glad!"

Rachel studied the green eyes that looked at her with a slightly guilty air around them, but the Cheshire cat grin did not waver. What was going on? She felt like she had intruded. It was not like she could have overheard the conversation. So there was not really a reason for Quinn and Santana to be so secretive about it.

She debated whether to ask Quinn what they were talking about, but then decided to let the other woman take up the topic if she wanted to comment on it.

The blonde observed Rachel slowly walking towards the kitchen, rounding the counter and making her way towards her. Something seemed to trouble her. There was sadness and disappointment in her eyes that Rachel did not manage to hide from her. Quinn kept her eyes trained on her girlfriend.

"Hi," Rachel smiled as she reached by her and placed a small kiss on Quinn's lips. Looking round her girlfriend's shoulder, she also greeted the other woman with a "Hello Santana," who nodded in response.

Hello, darling, Quinn signed when she had Rachel's attention again.

Rachel could not stand it anymore. Curiosity pushed the question out. "Ok, what's up? What did I interrupt? What are you hiding?"

Quinn raised her right eyebrow then moved her hands through the air.

"Curiosity killed the cat," she teased, then her gaze softened. "You'll know. But not now. Be a little patient." And she bent forward, placing another kiss on her partner's soft lips to reconcile.

It did not completely erase the doubtful look from Rachel's face. She looked up from under her lashes. "Oh, I want to know now, please!"

"Whatever, we are not saying anything", Quinn answered signing and talking and threw a knowing look at the Latina who just smirked.

Rachel narrowed her eyes, staring at the two women. Seeing the determination in their eyes, she knew they would not spill anything. If there was something that Rachel absolutely hated, it was knowing that someone had a secret they kept from her. She had needled her dads as a small girl weeks before Hanukkah and her birthday to tell her what she would get. In the end, they had always bought one additional small present to give to her before the festivities so she would just stop torturing them. Considering the same tactic, she instinctively knew that she would hit granite with the two other women. As hard as it was, she probably had no other choice than to wait.

Then again, it might be worth a try and she was just so curious.

Before she could open her mouth, Quinn jumped in. "Oh, Santana has something to say."

Santana threw her a confused look. "I…what? No, I…"

Quinn cleared her throat, widening her eyes slightly while staring at the Latina, unnoticed by Rachel whose eyes still rested on her girlfriend's hands.

Santana understood that it was probably better to spill her news than have Rachel needle them about their other conversation. Grumpily, she tore her gaze away from her old high school friend and focused on the smaller woman who had stepped up a little closer. She even turned a little so that Rachel had her in full view.

"I'm meeting Jenna tonight." She explained, watching Rachel's eyes dart between her lips quickly to Quinn's hands and back.

"Jenna." Rachel simply repeated, nodding. "Is that what you are being so mysterious about? Why?"

Santana was astonished. "Is that all you have to say?"

Rachel shrugged after having read most of the sentence from Santana's lips. "Yes, I mean, I watched you during the first dinner we had here. And I had a little conversation with Jenna about you while we were preparing the dessert. That also told me a lot." Rachel smiled. "So is this a date or just a meeting between friends?"

The Latina shrugged. "Well, so far just friends…" and she let her voice trail off.

Quinn noticed the petite woman's questioning look, not having quite understood and quickly repeated the sentence in ASL. Rachel had gotten better at reading lips, but she had to have a full view of the person who was talking and he or she would have to articulate him or herself clearly and not talk too quickly. The shorter the sentences the easier it was for her to understand. However, Santana had unconsciously turned her head slightly to hide her disappointment at her own statement and thus it became impossible for the other woman to grasp what she was saying.

After having received the relay from Quinn, Rachel squeezed Santana's upper arm in an encouraging gesture. "Give her some time."

After a short moment, she then turned and got herself a glass of water.

"You want some coffee?" Quinn asked her then.

Rachel shook her head. "No. Thanks. I… um. Not now." She leaned with her back against the sink and took some small sips, lost in thoughts.

Quinn wondered again what was going on in her girlfriend's head.

You ok? She signed after tapping Rachel slightly on the arm.

"Huh? Yeah. Just a little tired."

Where have you been? I thought you'd come by a little earlier.

"Sorry about that, it just took a little longer than I thought."

What did? Quinn looked confused.

Santana moved around the counter and walked to her room. She wanted to give both women some privacy as something was clearly up. It seemed that everyone was carrying a little secret around today.

Rachel let out a long breath and placed the glass on the counter before turning back to Quinn.

"I had an appointment today. I didn't tell anyone, I … somehow felt I had to do this on my own."

An appointment? Where? Now with Santana gone, Quinn only mouthed the words without sound while she signed them.

Finally, Rachel raised her eyes and found Quinn intently gazing at her with a worried look.

"I went to see Dr. Brenneman. My specialist. I did not want to get anybody's hope up, so I haven't told you before, nor my dads."

Santana had heard the word specialist and stepped a bit closer again. Rachel saw her approaching out of the corner of her eye and threw her a short look.

She knew Santana was genuinely interested in her condition, so she was ok with her joining them again.

"What did he say?" Quinn asked her voice and hands shaking a bit with nervousness. Besides desperately wanting to know what the outcome was, she also felt a bit left out that Rachel had gone to such an important visit without filling her in first or asking her to come along. Had she not trusted her that whatever the results, she would stand by her? No. That could not be it.

Rachel shrugged her right shoulder. When she continued, she looked at Santana first to include her in the conversation, then back at Quinn. With a voice strangely devoid of emotions she explained:

"To make a long story short; just as I had expected, there is no improvement. Some tests have confirmed that. I could have another operation, but the success rate could not be determined. And if it succeeded, no one could say how much and in which quality my hearing would come back. They could run more tests, but …" She fell silent.

Rachel pressed her lips together and her brown eyes searched Quinn's for any reaction. She was not interested in words and was relieved that her girlfriend's hands and lips did not move. Keeping her eyes on Quinn, she read her every thought.

There was hurt, which was understandable. Rachel had debated whether to tell Quinn or not. But this was something she felt she had to face alone. This was nothing anyone could take off her shoulders. This burden was hers to carry.

Her friends - at least most of them - made it a lot easier with their understanding and acceptance. Nevertheless, it was her and her alone who would have to live without being able to hear. Even if it also influenced how others would have to communicate with her, it still had the greatest impact on her.

She had needed some time alone to come to terms with what she had secretly feared. This is why she had not wanted anyone with her.

The hardest part was letting the little quench of hope she had harbored in a small corner in her heart go. Letting go of it meant knowing it was more or less a final goodbye. It left a hole in Rachel's heart that would not be filled for a long time and would take an even longer time to heal, if ever. Letting go of it also meant letting go of the last thin line that had connected her to the world of "normalcy" and whatever it entailed, starting with music and ending with hearing her girlfriend breathe deeply in her sleep. All these things seemed definitely lost now.

She rubbed the heel of her palm over her breast bone as if to rub the hollowness that had settled in her chest away. She didn't even feel like crying. She was just tired and felt empty inside. At least, she could get some closure now. However that might look like.

Focusing back on the hazel eyes in front of her, she also noticed concern, hope and love in them. Those feelings chased across the green surface of Quinn's eyes in rapid succession. She wondered what Quinn saw while looking into her own eyes. She reached out and took Quinn's hand, lacing her fingers through hers. This seemed to break the tension a bit.

Quinn furrowed her eyebrows and Rachel noticed her trying to fight back some tears. She lifted her other hand and placed it on the other woman's cheek, gently stroking her thumb across the blonde's cheekbone.

"Shhh, it's ok." Rachel heard her own words in her mind, wondering how this could ever be ok. How she could ever be ok, knowing that there was no going back to her old life and her dreams.

Maybe knowing that she was not alone; that she had friends and a partner that loved her despite everything that had happened, made it somehow easier to face. Looking at the beautiful face in front of her, she finally felt a stirring in her own body. But it was not as strong as she had expected. Maybe she had mourned her loss enough already all these past months, maybe she had known all along, maybe she had learned that there was still a life ahead of her despite being deaf. Maybe she had learned that there were still people around her that loved her, wanted her friendship and cared about her.

Or maybe she just tried to hide all emotions again in order to not feel anything. She had done this a lot in the beginning. But she also remembered that whatever she had stuffed down always had found its way back up in the most inappropriate moments.

She looked to her left and found Santana still standing at the same spot, a traitorous shimmer in her eyes. Santana was definitely becoming a softie at her old age, Rachel decided. With an honest smile, she let go of Quinn's hand and streched her arm in the Latina's direction.

Santana did hesitate shortly then followed the silent request. While she walked over, Rachel quickly kissed Quinn and then all three of them hugged and held each other for a moment, standing in a small circle. Rachel finally felt some tears falling down her cheeks, but instead of starting to cry, she let out a small laugh.

"I keep wondering how I ended up in the arms of the two biggest HBICs from school."

This also drew a laugh from the other two women and slowly they loosened their arms. Quinn though held onto her petite lover with one arm looped around her shoulder and Rachel leaned her head against Quinn.

Santana scribbled something on a paper and held it in front of Rachel.

I'm really sorry that there is no better news. Is there anything I can do?

"Thanks Santana, but no. I guess I just need time to digest it and then at some point start making plans about my future." Rachel stated very rationally and let out a deep breath. For now, she refused to focus on that.

She tried to push the news she had received somewhere inside where they would not hurt so much. Rachel did not want to feel the devastation and desperation again. She did not think she had the strength to go through the whole process again.

But she also knew that denying it would not make it better. She had to face this sooner rather than later. Santana seemed to have read her thoughts as she pushed the paper into her hands again.

Talk about it, ok? Don't try to be brave and pretend this is somehow ok or that you expected it. You don't have to swallow everything. We are here for you. This is nothing that can be processed overnight. Give yourself the time and the right to come to terms with it again.

Rachel closed her eyes after reading that. "I know. But right now I can't."

Quinn felt a little lost. She would have liked to know the real reason why Rachel did not want to be accompanied to her appointment. She also sensed that Rachel tried to bottle up her feelings in regards to the test results.

Something else came to her mind, and she wondered if this changed something for them. It did not from Quinn's point of view, but maybe it did for Rachel. For now, she decided to hold her questions and let Rachel take the pace.

... ... ...

Later in the evening, after Rachel and Quinn had finished a self-made dinner with salad, grilled basil tofu and some fresh bread, Quinn had to ask. They had skirted around the topic for the rest of the afternoon and right now the blonde's nerves were tingling. She felt the untouched issue was building up between them like thick smoke.

Please don't close yourself off. Don't shut me out, Rachel. How do you feel now? Is there anything I can do?

Rachel shook her head. She still owed her girlfriend an explanation as to why she had excluded her in her afternoon appointment.

"Quinn, the reason I did not tell you anything about this has nothing to do with you. It does not mean that I did not see you as a support or that I did not trust you to be there for me. I suppose I had expected the results for quite some time. And I needed to do this alone, for me. On one hand I did not want to get your hopes up, on the other I needed to know for myself that I could manage. Knowing I would have to learn to live with this condition probably for the rest of my life, not always having someone around me who could help, I had to start doing this on my own. I don't know if you can understand that. And it does not mean that I want to pull away or that I don't appreciate all your help and support. This has nothing to do with it."

You needed to see if you could stand on your own two legs, Quinn summarized.

Rachel nodded. "Yes."

How do you feel? Quinn repeated her earlier question.

The brunette pondered over the question for a while. "Honestly, I can't say. I keep shifting between realization, grief, numbness and hope. It would be a lie to say I have processed the news or the whole situation completely. It will still take me a while longer to digest this." She ran her index finger over the tiny tips of her fork, then took it and tapped it against her plate.

Realizing what she was doing, when Quinn flinched at the sharp sound, she stopped. "Sorry."

Won't an implant be a possibility for you? Quinn asked hopefully.

Rachel shook her head and sighed. "No. Even though my inner ear had not been damaged, somehow the part of my brain that registers sound doesn't really recognize it. Maybe that has something to do with the fractures I suffered from. I don't know. I just … want to get over all this. "

Quinn reached over and placed a hand over Rachel's and held it for a moment. Then she pulled back.

No one expects you to come to terms with these news overnight, Rachel. I have heard that it takes between two and four years until you get used to living with such a loss. For you, it has not even been a year. It will still need some time and grant yourself this time. I will still be here. Same as your friends.

"Well, I guess I actually have nothing more to lose, do I? I'm not better, but not worse than before my appointment."

What do you mean?

"I mean that even though I have to deal with accepting what I had feared all along as a fact, I can still rely on the means of communication and relationship we have built. I don't have to start from scratch. Do you know what I mean?"

Quinn nodded. Yes. To say it bluntly, nothing has changed.

Rachel nodded slightly. "Yes. Nothing has changed." She sighed. Then she looked up and caught Quinn's eyes with her own, studying her girlfriend for a moment. "Will it change something for you?" She then asked quietly.

The blond woman stood up and walked around the table, and took a seat next to Rachel. She took one of her hands into her own and gently kissed it.

It would be a lie to say that these news don't make me sad, she signed.

It makes me sad because I would have wished for you to get your hearing back or at least get it back to some degree. I would have wished that you had at least a remote possibility to enjoy all the things you missed. That you were able to hear me tell you that I love you and that for me nothing changes in regards to what I feel for you, Rachel. I mean, I have known you from before your accident; I have heard you sing and seen you perform. But when it comes to our relationship as lovers, I do not know anything else. For the two of us, it has been like that from the beginning. We finally became a couple after you had already lost your hearing. So for me, it does not change anything in this regard.

Rachel had not really doubted Quinn. Still, it felt good to know and feel that for sure that she loved her and would stay at her side.

Quinn bent forward and captured the other woman's lips with her own, a tantalizing promise for more to come. It seemed her girlfriend wanted to cash in this promise earlier than anticipated, because she eagerly leaned into the kiss, searching for the blonde's tongue with her own.

Quinn cupped Rachel's face and their kiss became more intense, the desire growing between them. Touching and kissing each other somehow seemed to fuel both women again.

She bent lower and playfully nipped at the soft earlobe, causing her girlfriend to moan softly again. Quinn pressed her body closer to the smaller frame, her right thigh applying a slight pressure against Rachel's legs. Eagerly, the small woman widened her stance and half straddled the thigh that now pressed harder against her core.

Rachel felt the pulse throbbing at her most sensitive spot and it became more and more unbearable that there were so many clothes between her and Quinn. Slowly, she started to push Quinn backwards to their bedroom, finding her mouth again with her own lips. Lost in their passion, they bumped into the wall next to the bedroom door. Rachel used this to her advantage and imprisoned her lover between herself and the wall. She placed her arms next to Quinn's shoulders and looked her deeply in the eyes. Then she ordered in a husky voice: "Unbutton your blouse. Slowly."

Quinn only raised an eyebrow and followed her command. She still felt a little ill at ease about Rachel's behavior, about her reacting so rationally about the results of the examination and doing everything to distract herself from dealing with it. But if that was what she currently needed and wanted, Quinn would go along with it.

Starting from the top, she revealed more and more of her cleavage with every button that came undone. The brunette did not wait until she reached the last button before claiming the soft skin between her lover's breasts with her lips. While Quinn struggled to unfasten the last clasps, Rachel snaked her arms around Quinn's body under her blouse and unhooked the strapless bra that fell to the blonde's waist and then to the floor. She could hardly contain herself, seeing the two beautiful breasts eagerly arching towards her and she cupped them with both hands. Her tongue swirled around the hardened nipple and she felt Quinn moan. Quickly, Rachel's eyes flicked up to check if Quinn's lips were moving, but her girlfriend just bit her lip, trying to keep her composure under Rachel's touch.

Again, Rachel reached around Quinn with her right hand to open the bedroom door and both women repositioned themselves on the bed. Quinn had not expected the evening to end like this. She wondered if this was for both of them a release of the tension that had built up inside of them. Whatever the reason, she had no time to dwell on it further as she felt the brunette's hand slip inside her jeans. As she brushed against her clit, Quinn involuntarily jerked and held on to the hand that snaked beneath her underwear.

"Wait." She breathed and Rachel stopped her movements with a concerned look. Quickly, the blonde shimmied out of her pants and the rest of her garments. Rachel understood what she was doing and she wasted no time to follow suit. Their clothes landed in a tangled heap on the floor. Rachel's full lips covered Quinn's breasts again with kisses and teasing little bites that drove the blonde nuts. She arched her back and thrust her body against her girlfriend's mouth and hands, offering herself completely. The petite woman accepted the offered body and eagerly continued her exploration and caress with her tongue. She cupped Quinn's buttocks with her hands and massaged them while her lips were occupied with trailing down the blonde's flat stomach down to the juncture of her legs. There, she shortly stopped after flicking her tongue over Quinn's most sensual spot.

"Oh god, Rachel, I want to feel you inside me, please," she moaned, unable to use her hands to sign anything coherently. Rachel, sensing that her lover had requested something, but being unaware of the words, frowned slightly as she looked up.

"Do you want me to stop?" She cautiously asked and ceased her movements.

Quinn shook her head. Then quickly cupped her girlfriends face with her right hand, using the other to gently guide Rachel's hand from under her to the wet fold between her legs. There she gently pressed the smaller woman's fingers against her soft flesh.

"Mmmm, I see. No more teasing," Rachel then smiled relieved, eager to take their lovemaking further.

Slowly she dipped her index finger inside the folds, causing Quinn to ball her hands into fists to control the waves of pleasure that crashed through her. The brunette slowly took up a rhythm of moving her digit in and out, until she had her lover writhing under her touch, squirming and begging. She observed Quinn's lips move, forming her name over and over again, her chest heaving in rapid succession, fueled by the ecstasy that robbed her of air to breathe. Rachel thrust another finger inside and watched Quinn being driven nuts. Not ceasing the movements with her fingers, she bent her head and sucked a little at the throbbing little nub above her hand and when she felt the flesh around her fingers pulsing, contracting and relaxing in a very rapid succession, she knew Quinn was not far from climaxing.

With one last movement, she thrust her fingers deeper into the wet and warm grotto and bent her head to let her tongue swirl around the sensitive clit. With that, she felt the flesh around her fingers contract, Quinn arching her back against her and sensed the tremors and spasms racing through the other body. Rachel held her position for a short while longer before she slowly extracted her fingers, smugly smiling up at a completely wasted Quinn. She lay panting on her back, her hands still clenching and unclenching the rumpled sheets beneath her.

The petite woman crept up next to her still panting girlfriend and nuzzled her cheeks with her nose, softly breathing into her ear: "You are the most beautiful woman. There is nothing better on God's earth than to make love to you, darling."

Then she kissed her softly on the lips. Satisfying her lover always aroused Rachel immensely as well. She was sure that if Quinn only came near her legs, she would go off like a rocket. Just thinking about Quinn's touch sent her senses reeling. She moaned softly and inadvertently caught Quinn's attention, bringing her back to the present from her ecstatic place of bliss.

Quinn looked into the deep brown eyes and her breath caught in her throat. There was so much desire in them that it was hard to keep her own breath steady. But there was something else as well. Quinn frowned and then carefully raised herself, turning her girlfriend on to her back in the process. Gently, she started stroking the soft swells of her breasts with her right forefinger, swirling it around the nipples, keeping her eyes on Rachel's.

"Quinn, I want to feel you. Please. Now." She heard her lover breathe.

Slowly, she let her fingers wander further down Rachel's tanned skin. When she touched the sensitive center, it made the small woman whimper again. Playing a short moment with her thumb and forefinger with it, she felt Rachel tense and then an orgasm rippled through her, being surprised as to how quickly this little touch had sent her off. Quinn watched the muscles in her girlfriend's body contract and Rachel let out a sound that was half gasp, half sob. With every spasm that raced through the small body, the sobs became stronger until finally Rachel rolled onto her side, pulled her legs up to her stomach and hid her face behind her hands. She was not able to stop the sobs finding their way out from deep within her soul.

Apparently, the intense sensation of the orgasm had unlocked whatever had been held back ever since Rachel had come back from her appointment.

Quinn slid down behind her, pressing her own body against her lover's, pulling the blanket over them. Laying behind Rachel on her right side, she slowly angled her left arm so her hand rested on Rachel's chest for comfort, while her other arm slid under her head and gently wrapped around her.

She held Rachel while she cried, mourning the final loss of her hope, of her dreams, of her old life. Her own cheeks were wet with tears, as she saw her lover in so much pain, not being able to control the tears, crying so hard, her whole body curled into a tight ball.

At one point Rachel grabbed one of Quinn's hands, pressing it against her chest even harder, as if its mere touch could still the pain that was raging inside her. She felt herself give off sounds that she could not control. It seemed her body had been taken over by emotions that did not let her stop crying. Again and again the waves of desperation, longing and realization crashed into her, like a thunderstorm unleashing all its fierce power. All she could do was let it all out, helplessly lying in Quinn's arms, drawing only a small comfort through the arms that surrounded her.

After the endless thrashing when her emotions finally seemed to ebb away, Rachel was completely wasted. She was not able to move or speak. All she could do was keep her hold on Quinn's hand, hoping it was not too uncomfortable for her girlfriend.

Quinn felt a heavy tiredness come over her once she had sensed Rachel calm down. She felt so helpless, again wishing there was something she could do to ease the burden on her. Quinn hoped that Rachel would not forget that slowly but surely she had already started building a new life, however tiny the foundation was at that moment. But it was there and it would grow, slowly, but surely.

Rachel felt her girlfriend tighten the embrace, placing a kiss on her shoulder, wordlessly letting her know that she would not let go. It had been a long time since she had sought solace in sleep to forget. Tonight though, she was glad to slip into the blissful ignorance that awaited her. A small part of her hoped that she would not have to wake up to reality.

However, a much bigger part wished exactly that. It was the part that recognized and felt the other warm body behind her, the comfort it gave her and the love it transmitted.

That was a prospect that was very much worthy to wake up to again.