Chapter 11: Shit, I'm Doomed

24th November, 1976.

"Merlin, I'm such an idiot!" I said to my friends. They looked at me with sallow faces but, to everyone's surprise- even mine - I found the situation especially amusing. I grinned with the light of a thousand suns. The sight of my friends' panicked gazes set me off on a fit of never-ending giggles.

"Lily! I thought you would be more frantic about such a situation!" said Mary.

"Yeah, it's you we're talking about," Marlene said with a few giggles of her own.

"Who would've thought? Lily Evans, top of the class, Prefect extraordinaire, would end up bringing a rock to the surface?" I said between laughs.

The Marauders made their way through the crowd to us, probably to congratulate me on coming in second. Weren't they in for a big surprise?

"Hey, what's so funny, Lilikins?" Sirius asked me. Oh, Sirius, you naïve, simple boy, you don't know anything. The other three also gave me curious glances as I let out a snort of laughter.

In response to their questioning gazes, I showed them the 'egg' I had brought up. As I expected, James, Peter and Sirius also let out snorts of laughter but recoiled under Alice's stern glance.

"Oh, leave her be! It's just a tiny mistake!"

"What mistake?" asked Remus. Aah, another naïve boy, and people thought the Marauders were cunning and smart.

"The mistake that she brought a rock up to the surface in the name of the Giant Squid's egg?" Peter said with a smirk. James hit him on the head for his bluntness.

"That's not a rock," said Remus. Sirius rang with laughter. "Seriously, it's not! It's one of the Squid's eggs!"

"It can't be," I said, "look at it! It's one of those metamorphic rock thingies."

"Okay, I'm going to pretend to know what a metamorphic rock thingy is, and say that that is not it!" Remus frowned in frustration. "After I realized what the task was, I looked up Giant Squids and their eggs in the library. The book said, quote, 'Squid eggs are often confused with rocks.'"

"Oh, come off it, Remus! There is no way that that thing turns into a squid. Look at it! It's hard and will break if you throw it hard enough," said James.

"Which is the perfect description for an egg! Just show it to Dumbledore, Lily, and we'll see whose right," Remus argued.

"Well, there's no harm in that."

I had finally got my laughter under control and started listening to the other candidates celebrate. Jennifer for Ilvermorny was here, Edouard from Beaubatons was here, and that hottie from Durmstrang, where was he?

I looked over to the Bulgarians, who were looking anxious as they watched the lake, waiting for their mate to come out. I looked at the clock that was supposed to be keeping time for the competition. It seemed that the American had won, finishing in 15 minutes. Edouard and I made it in good time – 40 minutes. It had been 55 minutes and Aleksander had still not shown up.

Panic struck as a huge wave came to shore. Whoa, lakes aren't supposed to have waves, are they? They're supposed to be stagnant, at least that's what I remember from elementary school. But this is the Wizarding World, so I should not expect all that to matter here.

Anyway, people from all years, and from all 4 schools started screaming and cursing at the treacherous waters. It was extremely unusual for water to splash around. In my 5 and a half years of staying at the castle, that had never happened.

Soon, the epicenter of the commotion came into view, the Giant Squid. And following him was the Durmstrang Heartthrob, Aleksander Dragomir. The Giant Squid disappeared just like it had appeared - with a huge splash of water. Aleksander swam quickly to the shore making it just in time. It was 10:59, the task was supposed to end at 11 am.

The pupils from Durmstrang quickly crowded around Aleksander. Groups of girls from all schools fawned over him and asked him why the Giant Squid showed up.

"I have no idea why it came over the surface," he wrapped his towel tighter around himself, "but I guess it was annoyed that all his rock-like eggs," Remus grinned at that, "were stolen. I had to go under the Squid to reach the egg and then the Squid attacked me."

Marlene instantly felt bad about such a thing happening to such a good looking boy. She sighed, "Why do all bad things happen to good people?"

Sirius started as soon as Marlene said something, he frowned at her comment, "By good people, do you mean chuffed little wankers? Because that's what he is."

"Hmm, Black, it seems like you're describing yourself," Marlene replied with a cheeky grin. The two, who were usually peaceful around one another, had begun their bickering again. It happened when they were dating, it happened before they were dating, and it seems to have seeped in again.

When Marlene and Sirius argued, it was cue for everyone to leave. Their fights usually ended with one of them having a green nose ("That's for being green with envy, Black!") or the other having constipation for a few days ("At least that will control the level of shit the comes out of your body, McKinnon, Merlin knows your mouth has diarrhea most of the time!").

"Hey, look! There's Dumbledore," said Remus before the fight could escalate.

Sure enough, there he was, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster for Hogwarts, setting standards for white beards since 1881. He cleared his throat and said a quick Sonorous to his wand.

"Hello, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed our little task and I am glad that all our Champions are safe and sound," Dumbledore said, peering over his half-moon glasses. "As we all have already witnessed today, Jennifer Williams from Ilvermorny came in first in the short time of 15 minutes. Lily Evans from Hogwarts and Edouard Leroy from Beaubatons came in together in 40 minutes, both having tied the second position. Aleksander Dragomir from Durmstrang came in third, in 59 minutes.

"Some of you must have noticed that the Giant Squid's eggs closely resemble rocks. Your eggs are a clue to your next task, use them well. The second task will take place in February of next year, so the Champions shall have plenty of time to ponder upon them. Before we break for Christmas, we shall all celebrate with the age-old tradition of the Yule Ball. You will hear more about it in the days to come, until then, good luck!" Dumbledore said the counter spell to his wand before smiling all the judges.

I didn't pay close attention to his speech after he said that the eggs were supposed to resemble rocks. Ha! So I wasn't dumb enough to collect the wrong thing! Hurrah!

He made a beeline for my friends and I, and I was instantly in panic mode. Why does the Headmaster want to talk to me? Have I done something wrong? I knew it was against the rules to have those many chocolate pies! Shit, I'm doomed.

"Good morning, Ms. McKinnon, Ms. Evans, Ms. MacDonald, Ms. Prewitt, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew and Mr. Potter! That's a lot of names, isn't it?" Dumbledore said to each of us with a nod. "Congratulations on coming in second, Ms. Evans. I was worried when I heard that you couldn't swim, but looks like you pulled through."

Wait. How did he know I couldn't swim? I never told anyone outside the eight 6th year Gryffindors. James. I gave him a glare before replying to the Headmaster, "Yes, thank you, Professor, I couldn't have done it without James." I hope my tone conveyed all that was going to happen to him later.

"Yes, of course! The lessons in the Prefect Bathrooms must have helped," Dumbledore said. Ugh, he had to go and tell the Headmaster, didn't he? "Well, I should go now, I have some fantastic chocolate pie to eat," he gave me a meaningful glance, his eyes twinkling in amusement, and turned on his heel, walking towards the castle.

"I cannot believe you told him I couldn't swim!" I screamed at James. I hadn't done it in quite a while, and it felt great.

"Come on, he had to know! He is your Headmaster, he would have helped you!" James replied, with much less fervour than me.

"Helped me how? Given me his half-moon glasses so that I could look into the water easily?"

"Oh, come off it, Lily! I know he looks a bit deranged but everyone knows glasses don't help matters under water," he smirked at me while the others snorted in laughter.

"Ugh, you are incorrigible!" I whined, that's good enough to rile him up, works every time.

"Sure, why not?" he replied simply. That's it? No, 'no you are incorrigible, Evans, with your rule-abiding ways' or 'you love it'. Where is the Potter I know? Oh right, I'm mates with him now, so I'm never going to find him, ever again. Man, where will I relieve my stress? I need shouting matches! It's what I do, it makes me me! Shit, I'm doomed.

"Anyway," Sirius said before our fight could escalate, "you got 2nd place, Lil! This calls for a celebration!"

Oh, no. I know where this will lead. We'll have a big party in the Common Room, everyone will get drunk, the music will be loud enough to rupture my ear drums, Sirius and Marlene will make out, the loud music will attract Filch, he will call for McGonagall, everyone will magically disappear the trash and run to the closest dormitories when McGonagall comes knocking, McGonagall will notice nothing was wrong, and then make snide comments at Filch for waking her up in the middle of the night. Oh, and also, all the kids will fall asleep in the dorms after that, and wake up with sore throats and start puking all over the place. Ah, typical Fridays.

"Yes! We haven't had a party in forever! Let's do this!" screamed Marlene at the top of her lungs.

"A party?" someone to our right said. We turned around to see Jennifer Williams from Ilvermorny looking at us. "And I thought you Brits were all biscuits and tea. I would love to come to your party!" Great, now my competition self invites herself to my victory party. Even though I got 2nd place and she won. But, still, I realize how awkward it would be for us, she's American. Aren't they all macaroni and cheese?

"Sure, more the merrier," replied James, "as for that, let's call the chappies from the other schools too. Oi! Edouard, Aleksander! Victory party in the Gryffindor Common Room tonight, ask the portraits for directions! The password is 'Barnacles'!"

The two boys nodded enthusiastically, probably in need of some alcohol after such an adrenaline rush. But this party could lead to me getting excessively drunk, as I usually do. And when I get drunk, I say and do the weirdest things. Like once, in 5th year, I drank 5 too many glasses of mead at a Quidditch victory party, which led to me screaming to the entire Common Room that I was in love with my the crush, Robert Hook. We then made out for hours and the news spread to Potter who hexed the living daylights out of poor Hook. But, wait, there isn't anyone who I would want to kiss now, is there?

Shit, I'm doomed.