I apologize for the long wait.
Just updated the beta-read version of the chapter...
Recent Glee events have both shocked and surprised me. I was shocked beyond means of learning of Cory Monteith's death. I don't know what to say. On the other hand it surprised me that the Glee production was only pushed back for one week, at least for the three episodes they are going to produce.
I can't imagine what it must mean for Lea Michele and the rest of the cast to go through filming the show, especially the tribute episode for Finn, under these circumstances. But I trust that everything and everyone will be treated with the utmost care.
Thank you again for your reviews, thoughts, discussions, follows and favorites!
I have basically finished the next four chapters, so there is more to come as promised!
Chapter 41
When the next singer came forward and Quinn stepped back, she had a chance to give the audience another look. Or rather the one person she had least expected to be there. Quinn's heart jumped at realizing that it really was Rachel sitting there in the third row, smiling at her as if nothing else existed around her. Quinn was so captured by that look that she forgot about the music, the other singers, the conductor, everything.
Rachel had come to her concert.
It was almost unbelievable. Why on god's earth would she do that to herself, Quinn wondered. She would never have dared to ask her to come. Yes, she would have liked to share this whole experience with her so much, but there was just nothing that would reason for Quinn to ask Rachel to come along, regarding the circumstances.
The blonde only wished that she had noticed her earlier. Now, more than half of the concert was over. Nevertheless, she was so happy to know that Rachel was here. Quinn was so moved that she almost missed her cue.
Rachel's eyes were locked on the dark silhouette slowly making her way to the front of the stage. She was slightly blinded by the spotlight that shone from the back of the stage at the audience. She could not see Quinn's face, but she was sure she was the only one who had noticed the slightest hesitation in the singer's step when Quinn had spotted her sitting in the audience. Even without direct eye contact, Rachel knew that her lover had seen her. She threw her a genuine smile before the light changed and illuminated the blonde's face.
Rachel watched her take a deep breath, but Quinn never moved her eyes away from her. The brunette was sure that her girlfriend was not able to see her clearly against the blinding stage lights that now shone from the front of the stage. Still, it seemed that Quinn held her eyes, never wavering, until she had to leave the stage again.
After that, whenever Quinn came forward to sing, she always found Rachel in the audience looking at her with a loving smile.
Before the final performance a screen was lowered behind the orchestra and the lights were dimmed. The title of the next song was projected on the screen in artful handwriting against a beautifully colored backdrop.
Wir sind am Leben - We are alive
Quinn entered the stage from the left and positioned herself a little to the side, so that the audience was able to read the screen. A warm and soft light washed over her. It was not too bright to distract from the lyrics, but it still illuminated her enough to be visible.
Rachel knew which song she was going to perform and thought the idea of displaying the translation of the lyrics was wonderful. This way, the audience who had not had the advantage of getting a glimpse of the words before like she did, could understand what it was about.
The orchestra started playing and Rachel's eyes were fixed on Quinn's face only, oblivious for everything around her. The singer had her eyes closed, a soft smile playing around her lips. She lifted her right hand and placed it on the microphone in front of her. When she opened her eyes, they unerringly found Rachel's. Quinn took a deep breath and the first syllables came across her lips.
Rachel wished so much that she could hear Quinn sing that song, especially in the foreign language.
Quinn looked at the audience and was still so very grateful for Rachel to have come to her concert. She knew that the text was displayed behind her and that Rachel was aware of the content, but the whole meaning of the song meant so much to Quinn personally.
This was not a typical love song; it rather dealt with the questions one would sooner or later encounter in life. Though, no matter what the answers to those questions were, the ultimate and most important thing was to live life to the fullest and keep the passion with everything you did.
Quinn felt that this was a fitting song for Rachel and where she currently stood in her life. In the spur a moment, she lifted her hands and started interpreting the words.
Hast du alles probiert? (Have you tried everything?)
Hast du alles versucht? (Have you tested everything?)
Hast du alles getan? (Have you done everything?)
Wenn nicht, fang an! (If not, begin!)
As soon as she had formed the first signs with her hands, she saw Rachel gasp. The brunette placed a hand in front of her mouth in surprise. Quinn smiled slightly as she continued singing. It was a quite difficult task to perform in a foreign language and sign in parallel. Basically she was juggling with three languages. Singing in German, translating the words in her head into English to be able to interpret them in ASL, but seeing Rachel's expression made it so worth the effort. She had no idea what her director would say to that and she did not care at that moment.
Hast du wirklich gelebt? (Have you really lived?)
Hat deine Welt sich wirklich gedreht? (Has your world really revolved?)
Hast du alles getan? (Have you done everything?)
Wenn nicht, fang an! (If not, begin!)
Was willst du sagen? (What would you like to say?)
Wen willst du fragen? (Whom would you like to ask?)
Was willst du erleben (What would you like to experience)
und was willst du geben? (and what do you intend to give?)
Wer gibt dir den Frieden (Who gives you your peace)
und was ist liegengeblieben?(And what's left incomplete?)
Ich kann deinen Herzschlag hören (I can hear the beat of your heart)
Keiner wird dich zerstören (No one will tear you apart)
Du bist am Leben, du bist am Leben (You are alive, you are alive)
Weil dein Herz noch Feuer fängt ('Cause your heart still catches fire)
Weil dein Herz die Liebe kennt ('Cause your heart knows love)
Du bist am Leben, du bist am Leben (You are alive, you are alive)
An was willst du glauben (What do you wish to believe in?)
oder glaubst du an dich? (Do you even believe in yourself?)
Wie oft wirst du betrogen? (How often will you be deceived?)
Wie oft belügst du dich? (How often will you lie to yourself?)
Wieviel Türen wirst du öffnen? (How many doors will you open?)
Welches Schloss knackst du nie? (Which lock will you never crack?)
Wie oft kannst du widerstehen (How long can you hold out)
und wann gehst du in die Knie? (and when will you fall to your knees?)
Warum wirst du weinen (Why will you weep?)
und wie oft bleibst du stumm (And how often will you hold your tongue)
Und für wen wirst du beten (And for whom will you pray)
weißt du wirklich warum? (do you really know why?)
Und bei wem wirst du schlafen (And with whom will you sleep)
und vor wem rennst du weg? (And from whom do you run?)
Ich kann deinen Herzschlag hören (I can hear the beat of your heart)
Keiner wird dich zerstören (No one will tear you apart)
Du bist am Leben, du bist am Leben (You are alive, you are alive)
Weil dein Herz noch Feuer fängt ('Cause your heart still catches fire)
Weil dein Herz die Liebe kennt ('Cause your heart knows the love)
Du bist am Leben, du bist am Leben (You are alive, you are alive)
Und hast du dich verlaufen, (And if you've lost your way)
ich bin da, bring dich nach Haus' (I am here to take you home)
Ich kann deinen Herzschlag hören (I can hear the beat of your heart)
Keiner wird dich zerstören (No one will tear you apart)
Du bist am Leben, du bist am Leben (You are alive, you are alive)
For the last stanza the other singers joined Quinn at the front of the stage.
Wir sind am Leben, wir sind am Leben (We are alive, we are alive)
Ich kann deinen Herzschlag hören (I can hear the beat of your heart)
Keiner wird uns zerstören (No one will tear us apart)
Wir sind am Leben, wir sind am Leben (We are alive, we are alive)
Weil unser Herz Feuer fäng ('Cause our hearts catch fire)
Weil unser Herz Liebe kennt ('Cause our hearts know love)
Wir sind am Leben, Wir sind am Leben (We are alive, we are alive)
Quinn sucessfully interpreted the entire song. She only faltered with a word once, but recovered quickly.
After the final sound echoed through the concert hall, everyone was silent for a moment. The blonde singer lowered her arms and took a deep breath. She smiled at Rachel and noticed how some of the people in the audience followed her gaze to see who she was looking at before the whole room started applauding.
Rachel was deeply impressed by the performance. She sat glued to her seat, her eyes still locked with Quinn's, until she finally managed to rise from her seat to join the rest of the audience in the standing ovation.
As it was the final song of the concert, the other singers had come to the front as well to take their bows. The orchestra stood up in the background and the conductor waved a hand in the direction of the musicians and the singers to give them credit for their great performance. The musical director also came on stage and the two female singers each received a wonderful bouquet of flowers.
All the while, Rachel's eyes never left the beautiful blonde woman on stage. She wondered if her bold action would have any consequences, though she doubted it. Quinn really had a knack for deviating from protocol, Rachel thought chuckling to herself.
When the curtain finally fell, Rachel hoped she would be able to catch her girlfriend for a few minutes before Quinn had to join the after concert party. It was also common practice for some news agencies to ask for short interviews after such an event. So Rachel was actually prepared to have to hold back until she would get to see Quinn at home, if there was no time now. She plopped back down into her seat. Lost in thoughts and waiting for the audience to disperse, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
Santana had slipped into the row behind her, which was already empty. She held out a paper with an apologetic look on her face.
Sorry, Rachel. I was just a minute late, and they wouldn't let me go to my seat.
"Oh."
Santana threw a curious look at her friend and then asked with her hands: You ok?
Rachel nodded and smiled. "Yes. So you missed the whole concert?"
The Latina shook her head. "No."
She scribbled the rest of her explanation down.
The usher was nice enough to let me stand in the back. So I saw pretty much of the second half. She smirked a little when she met Rachel's gaze. And yes, I saw the personal performance for you by our lady Quinn Fabray.
Rachel chuckled softly. "Yes. That was incredible! Quinn is crazy to keep altering her performances when I'm around! I could have read the lyrics just like the rest of the audience on screen."
As much as Rachel reprimanded her non-present girlfriend for deviating from the original performance, Santana could still see the surprise and love playing across Rachel's features.
Come on, Berry, admit that you loved it. Every second of it.
The brunette smiled sheepishly and looked at Santana from under her lashes. "Yes. I did!" And she laughed out loud.
Santana stood and held out a hand to pull Rachel up as well. Then she signed: Come on, let's see if we can find our singer.
"Oh, I don't think she will have much time for us now," Rachel stated.
Why not? Santana quirked a quizzical eyebrow.
"After show party, pictures, maybe the one or other interview..." She was not able to finish her sentence as she saw Santana smile knowingly, looking at something or someone behind her. Rachel turned and spotted Quinn making her way down the now empty row she was still standing in.
The brunette's heart skipped a beat as she saw her girlfriend approaching; oblivious to the curious looks from the rest of the people who lingered in the concert hall. They had recognized the singer, of course, and probably wondered what she was doing in the audience section.
When Quinn reached her, Rachel had no time to say anything, as the blonde entwined her fingers with Rachel's and kissed her gently and lovingly on the mouth. When they parted, Rachel opened her mouth again to say something, but Quinn shook her head and freed her hands.
Me first!
Rachel chuckled. "Fine."
The first thing Quinn did was to cup Rachel's face and kiss her again. Then she lifted her hands.
I'm ... she searched for the right words to describe her feelings. I'm so incredibly glad and proud that you came, Rachel.
Rachel watched Quinn's mouth move in an attempt to find more words, while she kept her hands suspended in the air, unmoving.
Gently she placed her own fingers on Quinn's and whispered softly: "It's ok. I think I know what you are trying to say." She fixed her eyes on the hazel ones in front of her. "You were wonderful. And thank you for interpreting the last song."
Again so many unspoken emotions and feelings passed between them more through their gaze than they did through their words. Santana tactfully looked at the floor; she did not want to intrude this private moment.
Then she heard her name.
"Santana, you came too?" Quinn automatically interpreted their conversation for Rachel.
Looking up Santana found Quinn smiling at her.
"Yes. Obviously, Q. Otherwise I wouldn't be standing here."
Quinn looked between the two women. "How … where did you get the tickets? You could have asked me to reserve some seats for you."
Santana pointed at Rachel. "Was lady Berry's idea."
"Really?" Quinn looked questioningly at her girlfriend.
Rachel nodded. "Yes. I had bought them some time ago. I wasn't sure then if I would have the courage to come. I didn't want to get your hopes up and then disappoint you at the last minute. That's why I didn't say anything."
Quinn kissed Rachel's soft lips again. You're so sweet. That was a wonderful surprise and the best early Christmas present ever! She then just signed.
Speaking out loud, she asked Santana where she had been sitting, as the seat next to Rachel had been empty.
"I was too late to make it to my seat after the break, but I was able watch you from the back." And she threw a thumb in the direction of the main entrance to the ground floor seating.
Quinn squeezed passed Rachel and hugged her friend across the row of seats that were created a small barrier between them. "Thanks for coming."
"You did great, Q. I'm proud of you," Santana then commented. "And you definitely dazzled someone here with the last song."
Quinn watched Rachel grin sheepishly after she had seen the interpretation of Santana's words. The blonde laughed.
"Good, mission accomplished," she quipped, referring back to Rachel's last instructions before she left the apartment earlier that evening.
Rachel place a hand gently on Quinn's back. "Don't you have to get back? I'm sure they are all waiting for you."
"Yes, but you two are coming with me. No way I'm leting you slip away and go home!" Quinn answered cheerily.
"Oh, I won't say no to a party," Santana grinned.
Rachel was not as enthusiastic. The encounters of the evening she had had so far were enough for one night. Good thing that Santana had not been with her earlier on, she probably would have killed Sharon on the spot, even though the woman had not even said anything.
Rachel did not feel like meeting any more people tonight, even though she knew that Quinn would interpret for her. But this was her night, her celebration and the brunette did not want to cause any inconvenience for her.
"Uh, I, uhm, I think I better get home."
Santana's gaze fell on Rachel's face and she narrowed her eyes. Studying her friend for a couple of seconds, she seemed to understand.
"You know what, Q, on second thought, this is your night. You should enjoy yourself with your colleagues. We'll have our own celebration with you later, okay? It's a promise!" Santana saw a look of surprise on Rachel's face after she had received the interpretation of her words.
Quinn's gaze flicked between her friend and her lover. "Everyone has invited family or friends to the party, if that is what's bothering you."
Rachel looked down on her hands.
She had managed to come to the concert, to sit through the whole show, to watch her girlfriend perform without hearing one single note. She had managed the encounter with Sharon and the conversation with Anna. It was just too much for her to face another challenge on the same evening. Meeting new people, all of them professional singers and musicians, was not what she wanted to face on top of all her other experiences. Besides, knowing Quinn would not and should not be able to sign for her throughout the whole party and knowing that Santana was still not that proficient to fully interpret conversations, made Rachel feel very self-conscious.
"No, that's not it. I'm just really tired. Go and enjoy the evening! And if you…" she looked at Santana, "want to join them, that's fine. Go ahead. Really."
Quinn swallowed. In all her excitement she had not thought about how such events were probably still exhausting and draining for Rachel. She could fully understand why she declined her invitation to join the party. Nevertheless, it made her sad to not be able celebrate with her.
Ok. I'm sorry I did not think about how this must make you feel and I'm sorry if I was a bit insensitive, she signed.
"Quinn, stop!" Rachel stepped closer and gave her girlfriend a kiss.
Forcing herself to put on a cheerful expression, Rachel added. "I mean it, Quinn, go celebrate. This was a really great concert and you deserve to relax a little bit now with your team after all the stress and hard work you've put in." She smiled encouragingly at Quinn.
"Ok, but I promise I won't be home late. I miss you too much and I didn't get to see you enough the past few days !" Quinn pouted which made Rachel laugh again and Santana smirk.
"At least I had a few nights of undisturbed sleep," the Latina threw in.
That comment earned her a slight push from Rachel and a "shut up" from Quinn.
The blonde still looked slightly disappointed that the two of them did not want to join her at the party, but she understood Rachel's reason. Though, why Santana wanted to bail, she was not so sure of. Maybe she wanted to keep Rachel company, which Quinn was very grateful for.
They walked towards the side exit that would lead them into the hall outside. They stopped and Rachel hugged Quinn when they reached the door. "I'm so proud of you, Quinn. You were wonderful." The brunette whispered into her girlfriend's ear and pulled back slightly. Quinn's cheeks reddened as she smiled at the praise from Rachel.
"Thank you." She answered bashfully.
"Well, we'll let you get back to your party! Have fun!"
Quinn nodded and kissed Rachel gently on her lips. Then she hugged Santana and watched them walk through the door before she turned and stepped back up the stage to disappear behind the curtain.
When the two women entered the lobby after retrieving their jackets from the wardrobe, a young man walked towards them. Rachel recognized him as the man whom she had seen earlier at the bar. She did not pay him further attention and walked on when he intercepted the women's path.
"Excuse me." He looked from Rachel to Santana and back to Rachel. The brunette threw a curious glance at him, then noticed Santana put on her fiercest intimidation glare.
"What do you want?" the Latina asked him, stepping slightly in front of Rachel.
Even without hearing her tone, Rachel guessed that it was not the politest inquiry just from the look on Santana's face.
"I would like to ask, um, Miss Berry something," and the guy looked at Rachel, "if she doesn't mind."
"Well, she does mind and we would like to go home. Excuse us."
The Latina placed a hand on Rachel's back and wanted her to keep moving. The smaller woman stood still, and dug her fingers slightly in her friend's arm to stop her. Then she turned to the young man.
"Excuse us for a second, please." Rachel pulled Santana to the side and asked in a low voice:
"What did he want?"
He wanted to ask you something. Santana signed slowly in answer. Out of the corner of her eyes, Rachel saw the guy watching them with interest.
And he knows who you are, the Latina added. He knows your name.
"Think it's one of Sharon's people?" Rachel asked in a low voice.
The Latina shrugged. Don't know. I think yes. That bitch is everywhere.
Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose. She just wanted to go home. On the other hand, she also wanted to resolve this wholde damn issue. Sharon Basont and her stupid charade were really getting on her nerves. The small woman turned slowly, let out a long breath and approached the man.
"You wanted to talk to me?" He nodded. "Can I ask you who you are? And please, you'll have to write down your answers."
He looked at her, frowning. Then it seemed to sink in.
"Oh. So the rumors are true," he stated more to himself.
Rachel stared at his lips, not having understood everything.
God, she just wanted to go home.
Santana glared at him and he held up a hand. Before she could give him a piece of her mind, he rummaged around in his bag and came up with a notepad.
"Right, sorry. Wait." Then he scribbled something down and handed it to Rachel.
My name is Patrick. Can I ask you some questions, Ms. Berry?
Before Rachel could say anything Santana jumped into protective mode and snared: "You one of Sharon Basont's dirty workers? Because if so, tell her she's a fuck up and she should go to hell!"
"Santana!" Rachel was not able to read all the words but she guessed most of them just from her friend's facial expression and body language. Her knowing Santana quite well also helped for her to deduce what she had said.
"No, I don't work for her…" the young journalist answered then he remembered. He started writing again, showing the pad to Rachel, when he was finished.
I have never worked for Ms. Basont nor with her. I just saw you here at the concert by coincidence. There was an article about you on the internet a couple of weeks ago about a rumored accident. Seeing you here tonight I figured it was just that – a rumor.
While Rachel read the text, he openly looked at her, obviously trying to figure out what was going on with the former Broadway star.
Ms. Berry, I have no idea what your business with Sharon Basont is other than that she was your manager. I'm a freelancer, I'm my own boss.
Rachel looked up and scrutinized the young man who stood in front of her. Her gut feeling told her that what he wrote was true and that he did not seem to have a hidden agenda. Then again, never trust a journalist.
Sensing her hesitation he held out his hand and asked for his pad. "May I?" He looked Rachel in the eye when he spoke. She accredited him the small gesture of not looking at Santana, even though he spoke the words out loud, with a hint of a smile and let him write something else down.
While he made his notes, Rachel looked at Santana.
You believe him? She asked, signing.
Santana narrowed her eyes. Reporters? Never! Was her short answer.
Patrick had patiently waited for them to finish their conversation and then held the pad out to Rachel again.
The small woman took the offered paper and read the next statement.
I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. A lot of people have been asking themselves what happened to you, and if you will ever come back on stage. Seeing you here, I thought you were all right. But as I have just learned that doesn't seem to be the case – correct me if I'm wrong.
Rachel looked up. "Guess it doesn't take much to figure that out. Just in case you are wondering why I'm here at a concert, I will not discuss this here and now!"
The young man shrugged. "Fair enough," he stated, again looking directly at Rachel.
"Will you please excuse us." Santana motioned towards the exit, propelling Rachel with her when the reporter held the two women back with a small gesture. He had extended his index finger to ask for one minute more of her attention. Apparently he did not seem to be disheartened by the Latina's clear dismissal.
"What else?" Rachel asked tiredly.
Quickly, he added another sentence on the pad. While he wrote, Santana addressed her friend.
You don't need to do this, Rachel! The taller woman signed.
Rachel answered likewise. I know. But he seems honest enough.
I don't know, Rachel. I don't trust any of those guys.
Before Rachel could answer, the object of the women's discussion held out the paper for her to read.
Ms. Berry, I could offer you an interview. This might be a chance to tell the story from your point of view. And that might be a possibility to set the record straight with Ms. Basont? (I don't want to pry, I ust base this on what your friend asked me earlier and how upset she seemed.)
"Why would I want to tell the world what happened, Mr…?"
Remmond.
Sooner or later people will start talking and pictures will show up. They already have, you know how it works. Why not take everybody's wind out of their sails and tell them your story, before anyone else cooks something up? Will you please think about an interview?
The suggestion had some benefits, Rachel thought. If that guy was honest, it might give her some leverage on Sharon's case. She pondered the thought for a long moment.
Patrick added another sentence sensing Rachel's hesitation.
We'll do it on your terms and I get exclusive rights.
"I get the final sign-off of what will be published. Not a word will be changed."
Santana crooked an eyebrow at the sudden business manner that Rachel displayed.
Patrick nodded slowly. That could be arranged.
"Good. I'll think about it. Do you have a business card with your contact details?"
He handed her one which she put into her hand bag after giving it a quick cursory glance.
"Thank you, I'll let you know within the next few days, Mr. Remmond. Until then, nothing of our conversation or what you have seen will hit the news. Otherwise you can forget about your interview right from the beginning."
She watched him incline his head with an earnest look.
You've got my word.
She nodded shortly at him.
"Have a nice evening." Rachel brushed a smile across her face and turned towards Santana.
Let's go home.
Santana nodded and threw one warning glace at the reporter who pensively stared after them. The Latina noticed how tired Rachel looked. She had held up the façade pretty well during the conversation with the young man, but every bit of energy seemed to have drained out of her now.
… … …
In the cab, Santana asked:
You ok?
Rachel nodded.
You're really going to do that interview?
The brunette looked at her friend and shrugged. "Don't know. If he was honest about it, it might indeed be a good chance to set the record straight. Don't know why I have not thought about it before."
Santana wrote a note into her mobile and held it out to Rachel.
What if he reports his conversation with you in the meantime?
"I don't think he will. If he does, he won't be happy if I decide to tell the story to someone else," she held up a hand, "if I decide to tell it at all. But his suggestion got me thinking."
Santana shrugged and signed. Fine. Your choice. And added typing: Let's hope he'll stay true to his words.
After a moment, she wrote something else down and held the phone into Rachel's view.
I understand you are tired, but why didn't you want to go to the party, Rachel? Even just for one drink?
Rachel looked at Santana for a moment. Yes, true. She could have stayed for one drink.
Then she explained quietly: "As much as I wished I could, and under normal circumstances I would have definitely stayed, but it is too exhausting for me now." It seemed like an excuse now that she had also managed that confrontation with the reporter somehow, but that was just one person and there were so many at the party.
Rachel debated shortly whether to tell Santana about her earlier confrontations to make her understand the other reason why she was not up for any more interaction.
"I ran into Sharon and a former colleague before the concert stated. I just couldn't manage facing any more people in a large group tonight. And this is not an evening that Quinn should spend worrying about me, interpreting all the time."
You ran into Sharon!?
"Yes." Rachel sighed.
What happened? What did she want?
Rachel was worried that Santana was ready to jump out of the car, seeing the incredulous look on the Latina's face.
"Calm down, Santana. I actually don't know if she wanted anything at all. It was just pure dumb luck that I ran into her in the restrooms. Before she could say anything, I gave her a piece of my mind and then left her standing there." The brunette had to laugh a bit at her own boldness. "She didn't even have a chance to say anything."
Santana stared at Rachel for a moment longer until her brain had processed this and then laughed with her. Really, what did you tell her? She asked signing.
Rachel quickly repeated her words and her friend grinned. Then she wrote something down again.
That's my girl! Well done, Berry! Don't take no shit from that woman!
And who was the other person you met?
Rachel also quickly recapped her experience with Anna as well, including the difficulties of understanding her and not using ASL or pen and paper. Santana answered in writing again.
I guess I underestimated how difficult doing all these things must be for you, still.
"Santana, they're not just "still" difficult. They will always be difficult. This will not change. Interacting with people will always be a challenge. And I will always miss important things that will happen in Quinn's professional career because of my deafness." She looked out of the window at the passing street lights. "There will always be things we won't be able to share." She added in a barely audible whisper.
When she felt a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off. Rachel just could not and would not discuss this further. There was no point.
At that moment the old doubts resrfaced. Rachel was not sure if it was possible for her and Quinn to find a way to live with her deafness when it came to something as important as Quinn's job. She was not sure if the continuous lack of sharing special moments with each other - and there would be many more over time as Quinn's career took off - would be manageable for them over time. She would only be able to participate half-way in Quinn's professional life.
Rachel was not sure if that was enough.
… … …
Back at Quinn's apartment, Rachel wanted to disappear straight into their bedroom.
Santana held her back with a hand on the smaller woman's shoulder. She had the feeling that it would not be a good thing to let Rachel slunk off and leave her alone with her own thoughts. She had to perk her up a bit.
Where're you going? The Latina asked with her hands.
"To bed." Wearily, Rachel watched Santana write something on the ever present pad.
The hell you are! We've got to toast your girlfriend first and then you and I are gonna watch a movie.
"Santana, I'm really tired and honestly, if you want to party, why didn't you stay there with Quinn?"
Because Quinn has enough people around her tonight.
"And I don't?" Rachel glared at Santana. "Don't start feeling sorry for me, Santana! And I don't need a baby sitter."
Santana picked up the pad from the counter again for her answer.
Hell, I don't feel sorry for you, Rachel. But I do have the feeling that you could need some distraction right now. And I have the right recipe for that.
Rachel sighed.
"Listen, I have had enough distraction for one night, believe me. Don't you understand that it is really hard work for me to spend guessing all the time what is going on around me, constantly having to concentrate on people's mouth, body language, expressions? This hasn't been as relaxing an evening for me as it was for most people. I'm dead tired."
In one of the rare moments where Santana dropped her hard shell, she pulled her friend close and hugged her for a moment. Rachel stiffened at first, but then relaxed into the friendly embrace.
Letting go, Santana nodded towards the couch. Put on something comfortable and sit down, Berry.
"God Lopez, you can be so obnoxiously stubborn."
Sensing that resistance was futile, Rachel changed out of her dress and came back out in her PJs and dropped onto the couch.
"I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stay awake. So your distraction better be good."
Believe me, it is! Santana smirked and turned on the TV. She placed a bottle of beer in front of Rachel and plopped down right next to her with one in her own hand.
When the first scene came alive on screen, Rachel laughed out loud. "Oh no, you didn't!"
Santana nodded. "Yes I did."
Rachel elbowed her friendly in the ribs and smiled. Chuckling, she stated: "How did you know this is the only thing that always lifts my mood, no matter what?"
Santana raised one eyebrow and quickly typed something into her phone.
Whaddaya think? I've known you for like a hundred years. This was all you've ever talked about at high school. Rachel Berry and Funny Girl go together like Starsky and Hutch or Cagney and Lacey or Barbra and James!
Rachel snorted and clunked her bottle against Santana's before concentrating on the movie. After the first couple of scenes, she felt her mood lifting.
The original spoken words were slightly different from the close captions that were displayed on the screen. Rachel knew every single word of that movie and was content with just watching the actors, imagining the dialogues in her mind. At one point, she just switched off the subtitles. They annoyed her no end - specially with this movie - because they did not display the exact dialogues and there were no extended subtitles available.
She learned that Santana had never watched the movie and it was fun teasing her friend by quoting some of the dialogues in parallel, especially Barbra's lines.
God, you do know the whole movie by heart, don't you? How many times have you seen it? Santana typed.
Rachel shrugged. "One hundred sixty-three, I think. Sixty four, including this one."
There are other movies out there, you do know that, right? Even with Barbra…
"Yes. But none of them are as good. They are all fantastic, don't get me wrong, but this is the Queen of them all."
Santana snorted. "Hell, yeah!" But she had to admit that the movie was good and that Miss Barbra Streisand was great in the film.
Hearing Rachel recite some of the dialogue gave Santana a glimpse of how great it would have been to see her friend in the actual musical. She regretted that she had never visited it.
… … …
When Quinn came home, she was surprised to be greeted by some laughter from her lover and best friend. She had expected the apartment to be quiet, but apparently her two favorite women had plans of their own. Smiling, she stepped inside.
Santana and Rachel were just into their second movie "Bringing up baby" with Cary Grant and Kathryn Hepburn. He and Hepburn were trying to catch an escaped tame leopard named 'Baby'. Entangled in a big net Grant had just landed in a heap on the ground, after having falling over a big log in the woods.
Rachel looked up. "Hey, star! You're back early."
Quinn nodded and plopped down next to Rachel with a sigh. She kicked off her shoes and propped her feet on the table in front of her.
"Yes. I promised to be home early." She answered, and in what had become a habit her hands followed her words in parallel. "Besides, I spent so much time with the people from the concert these past days, that I have seen quite enough of them now. Compared to being with you, they are boring as hell and not even half as sexy and good looking."
Rachel snorted at that comment and Santana rolled her eyes. "Guess my quiet nights are over," the tall, dark haired woman sighed exaggerating.
"Hm, yes they might be," Rachel grinned and kissed Quinn on the lips. "Nice to see you, gorgeous," she then whispered in the blonde's ear.
A little louder, she added. "I'm glad I have a reason to go to bed now. Our dear friend here had the impression that I needed rescuing from myself. She practically forced me to watch movies with her."
Out of the corner of her eye, Rachel watched the Latina huff. "Yeah, and don't forget to mention which movie we watched, Berry!" Santana managed to sign in parallel.
"Let me guess, Funny Girl?" Quinn asked, also signing.
"Yes, but it was her idea," and Rachel poked a finger at Santana's shoulder.
Quinn laughed out loud and threw Santana a curious look, but the Latina just shrugged.
The blonde got to her feet.
"Well, I'm wasted." She held out a hand towards Rachel after having signed the next question. "Care to join me in bed?"
Rachel snagged the offered hand. "Thought you'd never ask." Turning to Santana, she stated: "Thank you Santana, for keeping me company and for suffering through Funny Girl for me."
"Naaaah, it wasn't that bad." The Latina made a dismissive gesture after she finished signing.
"Uh huh, and it gets better each time."
"Forget it, Rachel. This was a one-time thing only! I'm not gonna rival you with your one hundred and sixty something times. Good night. And keep the volume down, you two, will ya'!" Santana did not manage to sign everything correctly, but Rachel got the gist of it.
"Put some earplugs in, Santana," Quinn threw over her shoulder, as she pulled Rachel with her down the hall, repeating her comment signing. "Night."
… … …
Lying in bed, Rachel asked Quinn about the party and her girlfriend quickly described her short stay.
It was nice, but everyone was a bit tired. We had some brief interviews and a quick photo shoot. Other than that it was okay to leave early. Due to the upcoming Christmas holidays not many of the other guests wanted to stay long anyway.
Asking Rachel how her evening had been, Quinn also learned about Rachel's encounter with Sharon. At first, she had a similar reaction as Santana, almost jumping out of bed, thinking that the manager had somehow planned something against her former client. When she listened to Rachel on how the meeting took place and how Rachel had reacted, she burst out laughing.
You did not say that to her! Really?
Rachel nodded and grinned. "I did. I'm still surprised at myself, I have to admit, but it just felt great."
I'm proud of you! Wonder what she will do now, though. I'm sure she did not like to be confronted like that.
"Yeah, maybe. But I might have a solution for that."
Quinn quirked an eyebrow and looked excited. Really? What is it?
Rachel proceeded to recount the discussion with the reporter, which made Quinn sit up again.
Are you sure he was okay? What was his name again? Maybe I can run his name by my manager. She might know him and we can find out if he is who he claims to be.
"Yes, that would be good. He seemed honest. I don't know, it's just a gut feeling, but I believed him. Nevertheless, it would be good to learn a bit about his background."
Quinn looked at her girlfriend pensively. Are you really considering doing an interview?
Rachel shrugged. "Maybe. It might be a chance to get Sharon off my back."
It would probably earn him quite a reputation if he garnered that interview with you.
"Yeah, maybe. He wanted exclusive rights and I told him I'd get the final sign-off. Until then, he has to be quiet about what we discussed. Let's see if he holds this part of the "unofficial" deal."
I'm not sure about this, but it's your choice. If you want me to come with you to the interview should you decide to do it, I'll be happy to interpret, Quinn offered.
Rachel leaned over and kissed her. "Thank you," she murmured against Quinn's lips.
She also told her about her brief talk with Anna. As Rachel recounted the meeting, Quinn realized again how such easy and natural things had become such a task for Rachel. It made her feel even prouder of her to have handled the evening so well.
Quinn described her thoughts to her girlfriend.
"So we both accomplished quite some tasks tonight," Rachel answered with a hearty yawn and snuggled up against the crook of Quinn's arm. "Hm, one more show, then we can go on our vacation. This is nice." She mumbled sleepily.
Watching the movie with Santana had pushed her tiredness away, but now, laying in Quinn's arms, cozily wrapped into the warm blankets Rachel felt the fatigue wash over her again with full force.
She saw Quinn's hands move a little awkwardly in front of her. Yes, I'm looking forward to having you to myself for a couple of days.
"Yes, and let's forget about our parents and friends. We'll hide from them." Rachel suggested chuckling.
Damn, forgot about that. Well, we'll still have enough time for us, I'll make sure of that. Quinn stated.
"Mmmmmm, someone is needy, it seems," Rachel teased, hardly able to keep her eyes open.
Yes! Needy for you. And Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel's head. She herself felt exhausted after the stressful days. Thank you for coming. I can't tell you how much that meant to me. Especially… you know…I mean…
"I know. I'm glad that I came to watch you, knowing how much you wanted it."
But I never said anything! I never would have dared to asked you to come.
Rachel turned her head to look at Quinn.
"I know. But it was written all over your face." She gently traced a forefinger across the blonde woman's cheek. "After all you have done so much for me, supported me in so many ways coming to your concert seemed just a small way in comparison to give something of that support back."
Quinn pressed the smaller form of her girlfriend against herself in a tight embrace and kissed her passionately.
They lay a while in each other's arms, looking into each other's eyes. Rachel was amazed again at how much a person could say without uttering a single word.
The brunette's eyes began to close again after some time, even though she tried to keep them open.
Quinn smiled and signed an "I love you" and "good night", before she turned to switch off the light.
"Luv you, too," Rachel mumbled and placed a soft kiss on one of Quinn's hands in front of her, before she let sleep claim her.