Chapter 50: Higitus Figitus

"All right!" Master Merlin poofed into the classroom. He charged through the desks carrying a carpet bag in one hand and Archimedes on the opposite shoulder. "Everybody up! Stretch! Come on stretch, stretch, stretch! And then we can get down to this learning business!"

"This is lame." Jim muttered.

Sulking, he stood but did not stretch. Glaring around the room, he suddenly saw John Darling. Catching Jim's eye, John quickly looked away, conveniently initiating a conversation with Tigerlily.

Jim glanced at Master Merlin. The wizard was taking enormous maps and wacky objects from his carpet bag as the students pretended to stretch. Clearly, he was preoccupied.

Jim crossed the room to Tigerlily and John.

Tigerlily saw Jim, acknowledging him with a milk chocolate, doe-eyed stare. Wordlessly, she nudged John.

"Hey." Jim said, forcing himself to look John in the eye. The wide glasses were unnerving. "I gotta talk to you. About Wendy."

John stared. "And?" he said.

"And…" Jim specified, a bit off put. "…today she's not in school. Yesterday she was…upset. I couldn't find her after my detention. Is she okay?"

John's glasses flashed. He considered Jim. Then, turning back to Tigerlily he said. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Jim rounded the desk. He studied John's profile. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"Exactly as it sounded. I don't know."

"Well what did she say? What did she do? Last night? This morning?"

John bristled resentfully. "I don't know. Unfortunately Michael and I are stuck with your mother at Dr. Doppler's house."

Jim paused. It had been days since he slept at home – Dr. Doppler's. He'd forgotten that his mom took the Darlings under her wing ever since Mr. Darling's arrest and Wendy' shadow attack.

Suddenly Jim narrowed his eyes. "Wait. Wendy wasn't with you last night?"

"No."

"Well, where was she?"

John clenched his jaw. "I. Don't. Know."

Jim couldn't believe it. "She's your sister!"

"Hmph." John turned away. "Some sister."

"Hey. Hold it." Jim wrenched John about face. "What the Hell kind of brother are you?"

John's cool, academic mien broke. Lividly, he slapped down a pencil. "Wendy lied to us! She lied to Michael and me! What kind of sister lies to her brothers?"

"What are you talking about?" Jim said, "When did Wendy lie?"

"Oh." John puffed indignantly. " As if you didn't know! It's your fault!"

Jim threw up his hands. "My fault? Excuse me? What the Hell are you tal – "

Abruptly, Jim stopped. "Oh...shit." Dawning with realization, he met John's wrathful face. "Your Dad."

John brushed away Tigerlily's hand. "Father was…not right. Ever since Mother…" vigorously John shook his head. "Wendy should have told us the truth."

Jim frowned. "Yeah. Because protecting you and Michael from getting hurt was a picnic for Wen too."

John glared. His knuckles were white against the desk. "Wendy needs to grow up. Ever since Mother died she's been living in a fairytale world – pretending that we're a big happy family that's going to live happily ever after. Well maybe if she stopped pretending for a second – one second – she could have helped Father stop…stop…"

John heaved a rattling breath. "…drinking!"

Tigerlily bit her lip. Uncomfortably, she looked at Jim. "Maybe you should go." she whispered, rubbing John's shoulder.

Jim scoffed. "Whatever. But John –"

John looked up. He looked like he'd swallowed poison.

"Give Wendy a break." Jim said. Angrily, he walked away. "For some reason, she loves the Hell out of you and Mike. And your Dad."

Master Merlin rapped his wand. "All righty! In your seats, in your seats! Nothing like a good stretch to clear young minds! Now…"

Master Merlin arched his wand in a circle. "Welcome to Magic Class! Together, we will explore the wonders of magic. Magic as it was! Magic as it is! Magic as – "

"Isn't magic bad?"

Master Merlin stopped. Flabbergasted, he gaped at Lana. "Come, come? What's all this now?"

Lana waved a hand through her shimmering red hair. "We just came from Dr. Doppler's class. And he told us magic is bad. Evil."

Challengingly, Lana crossed her arms. "Aren't you suppose to teach us how to defend ourselves against magic? Since, you know, magic is bad."

Master Merlin blinked. "Jehoshaphat! Dr. Doppler told you magic is bad? All bad?"

Lana clicked her tongue. "Um, yeah. Did you like miss the memo?"

"Dr. Doppler didn't say magic was bad."

Everyone's head swiveled to the right outermost row. Shocked, they watched Wart spin around in his seat to face Lana. "Dr. Doppler just said magic went bad once in Fantasia's history. That doesn't make all magic bad."

Lana attacked. "Oh really Mr.-I'm-Too-Pathetic-To-Get-A-Magical-Gift-From-The-Wishing-Star? I suppose then you want shadows and demons to take over Fantasia again? Possess everyone like the exorcist? Is that what you want, foster boy?"

Wart clenched his fists. "You're a mermaid! You – "

"I don't use my magic to rip souls out of people's bodies!" Lana snapped. "Unlike some. My magic is in my blood. My magic is special and beautiful! If you ask me, any other type of magic is evil and cheap."

"That's not true!" Wart actually stood up from his chair. "Just because you can't understand something, it doesn't mean it's wrong!"

"Oh shut up and get off your high horse you clumsy, little f - "

"ALAKAZAM!"

POOF!

"Enough of this foolish prittle-prattle!" Master Merlin stomped through clouds of blue smoke. "None of you have the intellect to judge magic as a work of good or a work of evil! Now it is true that in ancient times, magic ran amuck – specifically with regard to shadows!"

"Duh." Lana said, sticking her tongue at Wart.

"But!" Master Merlin glowered over his spectacles. "But are you aware that even before any of that nonsense with the shadows, Fantasia was a magical planet? Completely magical? No?"

"Small wonder." Archimedes sniffed, ruffling his tail. "Pin feathers and pea brains."

"Well!" Master Merlin huffed, pacing along the rows. "It seems The Wart was correct – you can't damn something before you know the crime! And, for your information – Fantasia was separated into five magical realms: Underworld, Sea World, Land World, Sky World, and Outer World! Sound familiar?"

Dumb stares.

"Well it should!" Master Merlin ranted, waving his wand. "Because you live and breathe in remnants of magical worlds! Fantasia and its solar system were formed by magic! Furthermore, each realm was protected by a magical guardian! And had it not been for these magical guardians – "

Master Merlin tapped his wand on Lana's desk. "—then the magical creatures and Fantasia itself would have never survived! So, don't tell me what magic is and what magic is not! Magic is magic, is magic, is magic!"

Grumpily, Master Merlin stormed to the blackboard. "So! It is MY job to teach you about magic, YOUR job to identify magic, DECIDE if it is white or black – "

"—good or bad –" added Archimedes, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"—and act accordingly without disdain or discrimination! It can and will save your life if the Wishing Star breaks and you are surrounded by black magic demons and white magic students. Hang it all – are we clear?!"

Silence. Lana rolled her eyes.

"Good enough!" Master Merlin growled. "Now. Can we please get on with the lesson I had planned? Everyone open to page seven! Since the ball is this weekend and Miss Charlotte's magical power of healing is her magical kiss, we are going to learn about a magical attribute that each one of you possess! Open to page seven!"

Flap! Flap! Flap!

"Today," Master Merlin prowled through the rows, wand chopping behind his back. "We are going to learn about True Love's Kiss! And please – " Master Merlin glared as Peter, Flynn, and Aladdin started to demonstrate. " – keep your lips to yourself!"

sutal's note: gotta love Wart! and Merlin! SITS = my favorite disney movie :)