NFSW
~Lieutenant Corrina Larssen,~ the voice said. ~I've been
waiting for you. This host is adequate, but hardly ideal.
I've been looking for someone who was worthy of me.~
Larssen tried to go back, but her feet wouldn't move. She
tried to go forward, but that wasn't going to happen either.
In front of her, Loretta sat swinging her legs and smiling.
Her lips moved in time to the words Larssen heard, but
Larssen knew somehow that the voice was directly inside
her head and not reaching her from Loretta's mouth.
"What are you?" she whispered, trying to pull out her
phaser.
~I'm your every dream, baby. I'm what you always wanted
and can never get. I'm the big 'what if' in your life. Glad to
see me?~
"Are you - doing all this?"
~Every little bit, sweetie. How do you like my work?~
"On a scale of one to ten?"
~Minus five. You see, I knew you were going to say that.
You're very witty, Lieutenant, but I'm pretty good. Good
enough to give you everything you ever wanted. Good
enough to make your dreams come true, if you want. And
you want. I know you want. I can tell that you want, I can
feel you wanting from here. All you have to do is
Let
Me
In.
That's all. Let me in. And everything will be A-okay,
hunky dory, just plain fine. You and me, baby, we'd be an
unbeatable team.~
"No." Larssen said.
~Oh, that's a good girl. That's a real good girl, that's real
good. You stand up for your principles, of course you do,
you wouldn't be the woman you are if you didn't and I
admire that, I really do. But you know, or I mean you
*don't* know, you don't know what you're turning down,
what I can do for you. I can make it right, I can give you
what you want, I can give you what you need, oh yeah,
baby, and I know what it is. You don't even have to tell
me, you don't have to speak a word and I will make it all
come true for you, I will give you everything, if you only
Let
Me
In.~
"You don't know what I want."
Don't I? said the voice, and the little girl laughed. And
suddenly Larssen wasn't in a Starbase science lab
anymore, she was falling, she was falling, she was -
- kneeling in the tent on Ser Etta, tricorder in her
hands, hearing her own voice say: he'll pull through, sir.
- sitting in front of her computer terminal, reading
the commission that made her Lieutenant-Commander -
no, *Commander* - no, *Captain* - Larssen. Seeing her
mailbox overflowing with messages of congratulations
and admiration.
- standing in front of the entire crew of the
Enterprise as Captain Kirk pinned to her chest the Star of
Courage, the Federation Cross, the Starfleet Medal, and
more, so many medals it seemed to take forever and she
lost count, while the rec deck echoed to thunderous
applause.
- Kirk saluting her, saying "There's no-one I'd rather
hand over command of the Enterprise to than you, Captain
Larssen. I'm honoured to serve under you."
- Spock, his dark eyes shining with unwonted emotion,
saying, "You are the daughter I would have wished for,
Captain Larssen. Let me be the first to congratulate you
on your promotion to Admiral."
~You see? said the voice. I know what you want, baby, and
I can give it to you. I can make your enemies scream and
beg and crawl. Madison? Let me turn his bones to molten
lead. You'll be loved, sweetheart, you'll be adored, and
that's only the beginning. I know you inside out, I can do
things to you that you've never dreamed of. Like that. Or
that? Do you like that? Mmmm... so good, isn't it. So
very, very, good. Let me touch you ... there. And there.
Nice, isn't it? Never knew it could be like that, did you?
Do you want Captain Kirk to do that to you, hmmm? I
can make it happen. Or that dark one, the Vulcan. Or both
of them. Do you want both of them, honey?~
Larssen swayed, her breath coming faster, a slow ache
building between her legs. Invisible lips brushed hers,
grazed the corner of her mouth, bit gently on her earlobe.
Delicate touches fluttered over her breasts, as if her
uniform wasn't there, and then pressed harder, circling the
nipples teasingly, pinching and stroking. She could feel
the crotch of her pants wet, could smell the unmistakable
scent of her own desire.
'Stop it." she gasped. "Stop it!"
~Oh, but, baby, you want it, you want it so much now, don't
you, I can tell you do. Like this. Oh, yesssss, like this.
Just let me help you, lovely Lieutenant, let me make you
feel so good. So good. Just
Let
Me
In.~
"No!" Larssen said, but the touches continued and her
body was responding to them without asking permission
from her brain. Now there were lips at her mouth, at her
breasts, fingers trailing up the inside of her thighs. Loretta
smiled, and licked her lips, and Larssen closed her eyes
rather than see that knowing look on a child's round,
unformed face.
Closed her eyes and saw -
- "you're so beautiful," Kirk groaned, his eyes half
closed and his face flushed as he ran his hands up the
inside of her thighs. "oh, so beautiful. Oh, yes. Oh, yes."
Larssen knelt above him and his hand moved up to rest
over her sex, thumb circling her and finger probing. She swayed with the waves of
pleasure that flooded her. Strong hands braced her from
behind, strong hands too hot to be human, and then slid
around to rest over her breasts, brushing her nipples gently
and then harder as burning lips touched her ear, sucking
and nibbling. A finger slid into her and she
clamped around it, trying to ease the pressure that was
almost pain. "Yes." she heard herself saying, "yes, please,
yes." Kirk took her hips and guided her down to take him
inside her, setting a slow rhythm that drew a groan from her. The
sensation of fullness after such an emptiness was almost
unbearably good, and then she felt her buttocks being
parted and another cock was inside her, hotter than the
other, and there was no room in her for anything but
those two cocks and the pleasure that was building inside
her, no room for pain or fear or loneliness, no room for
shame or regret but only for the sight of Kirk's face, eyes
closed now, as she rode him, Spock's hot breath on her
neck, the small animal sounds the two men made as they
gave her pleasure and the heat, oh Ifni, the heat inside her
and nearly there, Kirk's hand moved faster and Spock
picked up the rhythm and in a second, in a second, she
would - they would - in a second - the heat - they -
~Isn't that what you want? You know it is, I can tell you
know, I can tell.~
"No," Larssen whispered. "No, I don't want that, I
don't. You're wrong."
~I'm never wrong, baby. I can see inside your head, I can
see your secret heart, I know what you desire. Don't lie to
yourself any more. Let me show yourself to you.~
"It's not a lie. It's the truth. It's the truth."
~Oh, baby, are you still so scared of what you want? They
tell you all you're worth is to, how do they say it, 'do
your duty', they tell you you're nothing but a uniform
and a mind, they tell you all you should want is to 'get
it right', but here, you and me baby, we can admit what's
real. We can admit that you're worth a lot more than
that, that you *deserve* a lot more than that, that you're
special. You should have everything, baby, and I'm
going to give it to you. All you need is to
Let
Me
In.
oh yes, let me inside and you'll have it all, you'll have
everything you ever wanted and everything you never
knew you wanted. Let me show you, let me give it
to you,
Let
Me
In.~
Trying to twist her mind away from that enveloping
presence, Larssen was met at every mental turn by the
images that flooded thick and fast into her head. It was
like trying to grapple with Mr Sulu in the gym, she
thought, every move anticipated and blocked by a body
that moved and flexed with hers - and at that thought, she
saw herself on the aiji mat again, but this time she broke
Sulu's hold effortlessly and sent him flying -
"No! That is *not* real!"
~I can make it real.~
"No, you can't. You can make it happen, but you can't
make it real." Larssen panted. She must have some
template of strength to use here, there had to be something
that would help her - but everything she tried writhed in
her mind and turned to another purpose. ~What would the
captain do? what would Commander Spock do?~ she asked
herself, and was bombarded with vivid scenes of both men
congratulating her, admiring her, fucking her singly or
together. Shame washed over her at the thought she had,
never knowing, carried such foolish and adolescent desires
in her heart, and she wondered if Spock had read them
there when he touched her mind in the cold corridors of
the Ser Etta research base. ~I never knew,~ Larssen thought,
~I never knew that of myself and there it is waiting for this
*thing* to plunder it out of me ~... the shame seemed the
trigger for the *thing* to reach into her mind and pull out
every memory of embarrassment and humiliation she had,
to show her pictures of Larssen triumphant over
Whittaker, Larssen revenging herself on the boys of her
cadet class, Larssen returning to Initar and freeing the
zirdar. She tried to cast her mind forward, to see the quiet,
useful life she had always imagined herself leading,
herself in the lab, filling in reports, playing her small but
crucial part in the world, and that was perverted too.
Larssen the brilliant scientist, Larssen giving
professional papers to rapturous applause, Larssen with
dozens of assistants to take on the boring paperwork for
her. Headlines of her latest breakthroughs. Worshipful
reviews of her work. ~Larssen finds cure for common cold.~
~No!~ she thought, tried to break away. ~No, I am not like
that, I am not like that, I am small, I am patient, I am
unimportant.~
~No you aren't,~ said the voice in your head. ~No, you are
never unimportant, Lieutenant Corrina Larssen, you are
the one, you are the one I chose, how can you deny it? I'm
in your head, I can read your mind, I know everything
about you and everything you are. I'm right about you,
all the way along the line. I have to be. I know things
about you even you don't know yourself. I know how
special you are. I know how much you're worth. I know
it all, and all you have to do is
Let
Me
In.~
- and then, the slightest glimpse, the smallest hint,
her own hands on the command controls, the sequence that
would free up the Starbase defence systems and bring the
phaser targeting up -
And she knew. At the same instant as she knew the
*thing* realised what it had let slip and her mind was
smothered under promises, pleading, praise, but it was not
enough to make her lose her hold on that single, tiny
understanding. It would take her access codes, or higher,
to unlock those systems.
"You didn't chose me because I was special." Larssen said.
"You chose me because I was *weak*." Not the captain,
not Commander Spock, not any of the Lieutenant
Commanders or any of the Lieutenants or any of the other
Lieutenant junior-grades. Of all of them, the *thing* had
chosen her as the most likely, the most vulnerable, the one
easiest to use. ~Easiest to tempt to surrender, easiest to strip
the codes from. Weakest. Weaker than the others.~
And with that, all the temptations and promises lost their
power. She was not, had never been, anyone or anything's
chosen one. She did not deserve any special rewards, any
righting of wrongs, and she never had.
Larssen took a step forward, feeling no desire or ambition
but only shame that she had been the weakest link in the
Enterprise chain.
~You want shame? I'll give you shame, baby.~
The flood of images came again, but this time they were
not edged with the hazy glow of a glorious future or a past
cleansed of misfortune. This time they were sharp, clear,
knifing through her mind and turning out every corner for
her agonised inspection. Grenwood died in her arms, and
she saw clearly the reproach in his eyes as he faded into
death. Whittaker spoke, and she saw the disgust on the
faces of those around. Madison's blue eyes glared hate at
her and she deserved it in full measure. Shame, misery,
humiliation, pain. Larssen could find no way around
them, found one clear memory of Kirk pinning a medal to
her shirt and saw suddenly the disapproval in his eyes,
heard the falseness in the congratulations of the crew.
Found one clear hope of doing her job well enough to
move up in the ranks and knew on the instant that her
examination marks would go down on her record for ever
and show her as incompetent and stupid to anyone who
looked.
The past and the future were thrown at her and there was
nowhere for her to hide, no rock left that she could hold to
as the tide rose higher and higher around her.
~Hurts, doesn't it, seeing yourself as others see you. Hurts,
doesn't it, knowing what you really are. Most people never
have to face that, but you, Lieutenant Corrina Larssen, I
guess you're just lucky. Lucky, lucky, Larssen. Wonder
why you never got that as a nickname, eh? Just 'Cory the
Chub', poor plain stumpy Cory that they laughed at when
you couldn't hear. Wouldn't you like it to stop? Wouldn't
you? It's easy. All you have to do is
Let
Me
In.~
Slowly, Larssen went to her knees.