I don't own Glee.
Devin Jaste: Thank you for pointing a couple of things out! They help me to see that I'm on the right track!
Texican: Yes, we can!
helly1bradleywyatt and Cate53: You are very very welcome!
Hehe, quite some Voyager fans out there among you, I found out. Great to know that!
Chapter 57
Rachel's wish of wanting to integrate both worlds into her life seemed genuine and Quinn knew that both would enrich the brunette's life – and her's as well.
She thought about what Rachel had said, about having to move on, about having to let go. The true meaning of this finally seemed to sink in. Only now Quinn seemed to fully comprehend what Rachel's words meant. She wondered why it had taken her that long. It was not about her or their relationship. What Rachel was referring to were the things from her former life that she just couldn't do anymore.
I think I understand what you mean by letting go. You are right. There is no going back to what you had. No matter how hard we try, we will never be able to make up for everything you lost. And… and...
Quinn felt a tear slip down her cheek.
I guess I never really understood until now. I mean, if they had told me now at the hospital that I would never be able to perform anymore, if I had injured myself more than that, she gestured vaguely at her head and ribs. Then…oh god. I ….
"Shhh, Quinn, it's ok," Rachel sat on the coffee table again and cupped Quinn's face with her hands when she saw how the blonde struggled to find the right words.
Quinn shook her head and pulled back slightly so she could sign again.
No. It's not ok. All this time we tried to get you back into the world, to enjoy life again, but I never – never – really tried to imagine what it would mean for me if I would not be able to stand on that stage anymore from one day to the next. I should know, because I have gone through this situation before in high school, after my accident. Of all people I should know best, Rachel," she laughed without humor, looked up at the ceiling and shook her head.
"Quinn, stop that right now. Nothing excuses my behavior. Nothing! I found explanations, yes, but they are not excuses. Even though you can understand why I acted like that, I should have handled the situation differently."
But at that moment you couldn't!
"No, I couldn't, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have tried!"
They looked at each other intensely for a long moment, neither of them saying anything. Then Quinn closed her eyes. Rachel's voice reverberated in her mind and triggered another memory. She was not sure if she should say it, but since they were already talking so openly, she had to put this on the table as well.
You know, that song you sang for me… it was the most beautiful song I've ever heard. She opened her eyes and locked her gaze with Rachel's.
When I heard you sing with us on our way back from the club after your birthday, it completely overwhelmed me. I know I did't say anything back then and never touched that topic afterwards, I… I wasn't sure how to address it. She looked at her hands for a moment. You still have the most beautiful voice, Rachel.
"Quinn…"
No, let me finish, please. I never asked you and I never would have asked you to sing for me. You told me in Lima that you sang with Kurt. Why were you afraid to tell me? I know you told me that you were afraid, but I never really understood why…
Rachel searched for the right words to explain. The problem was that she was not sure herself what had held her back all the time and why it had been easier to tell Santana, but not her girlfriend. She looked out of the window for a moment before lifting her hands again.
"I remember your voice, Quinn," she started softly. "I have always loved your voice. Even more so after I heard how you had developed. You're voice still had that silkiness, but there was more power to it. It was sooooo…" She rubbed the fingers of her right hand in search of the right description… "It was velvety and soft, like meringue. At first it has a distinguished shape which is strong and clear, but as soon as you place it on your tongue, it gets creamy and soft and then just melts and leaves this wonderful sweet taste in your mouth. This is how I felt when I heard you sing."
Quinn drew her eyebrows together and tried to fight back the tears.
"I felt like my heart would melt, when I listened to you." She smiled at the slightly red color that rose on Quinn's face. "Now that you're on Broadway, you are one of the best performers out there. You wrap your audience around your little finger. People are fascinated by you. I felt it, it was tangible in the whole atmosphere in the theater and the concert hall. I watched the people around me… You were just perfect on that stage."
Quinn shook her head and mouthed a vehement Noooooo….
"Yes, you are. I know that my voice was one of the best ones out there too, but now I'm not perfect anymore and that makes it so hard for me sing in your presence. It makes me feel like I look up to my idol and will never be able reach the same level as her." Rachel tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know it sounds stupid, but … it feels for me like I will never be able to live up to your expectations anymore when it comes to singing."
Quinn took a deep breath.
Rachel now that you're deaf it doesn't mean that it diminishes all your achievements from before your accident. I still admire your talent, because this song that you sang for me… I know so many people who can sing and can hear who will never be able to sing it the way you did! It was just perfect and priceless! But I understand – sort of – why you did not want to do it in front of me, even though it still hurts, she finished with a sad look on her face.
Rachel rubbed her hand across her forehead and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she reached out and gently wiped a tear away from Quinn's cheek, feeling her own eyes burning.
"I'm just afraid that if I sing in front of you, one day you'll tell me that I'm way off and that you'd rather not listened to me anymore. I mean, not that I feel much like singing anyway, but…" It was hard to explain the fear of being rejected at what she once used to do best in her life.
Quinn shook her head. Rachel, I don't want to put you under pressure, I accept whatever you feel comfortable with. I just wanted to let you know what I thought and felt when I listened to your song. And if you ever feel you want to sing again, so do it, if you don't then this is what you choose to do and it is fine.
"Okay." Rachel answered with a small voice. "Thank you for understanding."
Quinn smiled in response.
Again, they sat in silence for a moment and Quinn took another sip of her tea. She felt tired from the morning trip, but she would not want to miss this conversation for anything in this world. They were finally touching upon some sensitive topics neither of them had dared to mention before.
"I wanted to ask you something," the brunette stated after a moment.
Quinn placed the cup between her legs and then signed: What?
"The box with the letters you gave me…I haven't read them yet, but the other day, when I wanted to, I felt that I wasn't entitled to do it anymore."
Quinn frowned. Why would you think that?
"Because I pushed you away, I told you I didn't want to be with you anymore, because I treated you so awfully and unfair, because…"
Hold it! When Quinn was sure she had Rachel's attention, she continued signing.
Rachel, I wrote these letters to you. I gave them to you. These feelings I described in them were true and were for you to know. So no matter what happened between now and then, I still stand by what I felt at that time. The letters are yours. If you don't want to read them, then that is your choice, but I don't want them back. However, I do hope that one day you… we come to a point where you will feel you can read them.
Quinn rested her hands in her lap.
"Oh, Quinn! I wanted to read them. I was tempted to read them several times over the past days. I was just afraid that when I would read your words, I … I would lose all resolve and … and… my stubbornness wanted to avoid that at any cost. I wanted to stay in control and stay strong against my own feelings and I realize now that I had nothing under control and that I will never be able to reign in my heart," she sniffed.
God, why is it so difficult, Rachel? We both know that we love each other and still, why do we sit here, both not knowing how to treat each other, doubting every touch and weighing every word? I'm… I'm so sick of it. I don't want that. I want… I want everything to be fine between us, I want to hold you in my arms, I want to know that you feel happy when being with me and I want to know that you trust me and I want to be able to trust you as well and and…
Quinn let her hands fall into her lap, not knowing what else to say.
She had wanted to say something completely different and was surprised at her own words. But once she had started talking, she couldn't hold back anymore. She felt like she had erected her own wall around her heart over the past days and this wall seemed to suffocate her, it made her feel claustrophobic. Quinn wanted her heart to be free again, to love and to be loved. She wanted to be able to let herself fall and know that there was one person who would catch her. She wanted Rachel back in her life so much.
She wanted to tear down that damn wall inside her, but didn't know how.
She felt too exhausted to fight the tears again. God, would she ever stop crying today?
When Rachel saw Quinn break down in front of her, it all but broke her own heart again. She hesitated for a second and then sat on the armrest of the couch, carefully placing an arm around the blonde's shoulders. She couldn't pull her close into an embrace out of fear to hurt her, but when Quinn leaned into her, she felt that this was the best touch in the whole world.
Quinn sobbed against her side and Rachel cried with her. They both cried together for what they had lost, for the pain and the hurt and for the insecurity they still felt between each other.
When both women calmed down a bit, Rachel leaned forward and took a pack of tissues from the table and held it in front of Quinn. Quinn had to laugh a bit while she plugged one out and blew her nose. Rachel did the same and then put the box on Quinn's lap in case they needed more.
"Well, here we are again, crying our hearts out, just like at the beginning of our relationship,"
Yes. Quinn admitted and managed a little laugh.
"Quinn, all the things you said are true and I feel the same. It's just that I don't think we can pick up where we left without clarifying all our misunderstandings, assumptions and misconceptions."
How can we do that? I think we are already on a good path talking about the things that stood or stand between us, even though it is hurtful at times. I mean, I never asked you for example how you really felt being at my concert. And I never really told you how it was for me, seeing you in the audience. I think there are still so many things we never talked about, but that are important for us to know.
"That's true. We need to talk about our expectations and wishes. Honesty is not just saying the truth, it's also saying what you feel even though you are unsure of where it comes from and we should discuss things even though we have not quite figured them out. But together we might find a solution. I know it's not easy to always say what is on your mind – or my mind for that matter, but for the sake of this relationship to work, we have to try to talk more openly with each other. Especially since silence is literally a huge obstacle between us, I guess we have to work a little harder to overcome that." Rachel smiled bashfully.
Quinn reached out and squeezed her hand before pulling back.
Yes, I agree. We need a whole other level of understanding each other.
"I'm not saying that we didn't already have a good level of understanding. Especially in the beginning we talked about a lot about things and you never held back to ask about me and my deafness. I don't know why we didn't continue to discuss certain things later, maybe because we both were afraid of what it meant for us. But keeping silent didn't lead us anywhere either."
Well, it led us to where we are now.
"Yes, but I hadn't planned on heading into that direction, to be honest."
"Yeah."Quinn sighed. Me neither.
"Quinn, I meant what I said. I love you. Being without you hurts so much more than having to face music - or my loss of it. I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt anymore or that I will ever get over it completely, but I know I would never get over losing you. I learned that the hard way, twice!"
I wonder why we always have to let something happen before we wake up and become wiser.
Rachel managed a smile. "I don't know."
Quinn smiled wistfully debating whether to say the words that came to her mind or not.
Well, I guess now we have both had our share of irrational behavior.
"What?" Rachel looked confused.
The first time I pushed you out of my life, this time it was your turn. Now we are even. Quinn chuckled quietly. I'm glad we got that out of the way, because we can now focus on making each other happy for the rest of our lives instead of sad.
"What do you mean?" Rachel was hopeful, but she needed more assurance.
Quinn collected her thoughts for a moment before answering.
Rachel, you forgave me for abandoning you in college when we met again after your accident. And you were in a far worse situation, making it more difficult to connect with someone again than I am in now. In retrospect I'm still amazed that you let me into your life again, despite the circumstances. I vowed to never leave you again, not matter what. Even though what happened hurt me beyond means and even though I am still… a little afraid that something like that might happen again – and I'm not sure if I can go through this a second time – I want to stick to my promise.
Rachel smiled sadly. Quinn rested her hands for a moment, before she continued. Her arm and her ribs hurt, but she needed to get this off her chest. This was important.
You're one of the most courageous women I know. I think you're very brave, because despite all the things you said to me and despite all the shame that you felt you still came to the hospital to be with me, to be there for me. And I didn't even manage to send you a simple letter to explain why I didn't want to see you anymore all those years ago. I was a real coward.
Rachel took a deep breath, touched by Quinn's words. She wanted to let Quinn know that whatever obstacle came into their lives, she would not turn her back again. She would stand up and fight for their relationship, she would not let her fears and insecurities overrule her heart again.
"We both have to learn from our actions, Quinn. If we can do that, then we will stand a chance to move on and grow together. We have the chance to make it right. However, after all this, I'm just afraid I made things worse for you. Now you will probably worry even more about every single one of your actions."
What do you mean?
"Even though you were worried about me all the time when we were with a group of people before, now it might be even worse, because you will always remember the last… incident…"
I…I can't help it Rachel. This is just who I am, these are just my expectations at myself. I want to help you, I want to be there for you. Though yes, I … I have to admit, sometimes it's …
"Sometimes it's what?" Rachel probed.
Exhausting. I keep stressing myself to interpret if there are more people around, I try to give you as much information as possible and … and…
"And what?" Rachel's gentle eyes searched Quinn's and the understanding the blonde saw made it a little easier to tell the truth.
It is so difficult for me to relax. Not when we are by ourselves, but when others are around. I don't want you to miss out anything and at the same time I sometimes feel like… I can't … I can't …
"Enjoy yourself?" Rachel spoke the words for her.
Quinn moved her head in barely a nod and looked at her hands.
God, it was so hard to say to Rachel personally. It had been hard to tell it to Kurt on the stairs in Lima, but telling Rachel directly, was even harder.
Rachel pressed her lips together and tried to digest the words. She had felt that Quinn was sometimes torn between interpreting and following a conversation herself and Rachel had already pointed that out, only now Quinn admitted it herself.
Finally the blonde looked up again. You know, I still want to be there for you. I want to interpret for you!
"Yes, I get that, but it will wear you out one day. You need to let loose once in a while, you need to relax, even if there are other people around. I don't want to turn into an obligation, Quinn." She held up a hand when Quinn wanted to contradict. "Tell you what. Once you're back on your feet, we'll practice being imperfect once in a while."
Quinn looked confused. What? I don't … I don't think I get what you mean…
"Well, look, this is what we will do. Next time, when we will go out to a club or a party of even if we will have a larger group of friends over, I don't want you to interpret for me. If you want to talk to me, that's fine, but I don't want you to do anything else, ok? Carmen reminded me that I could take an official interpreter with me, and this is something I will do. You will have to learn to enjoy yourself when we are with other people. And I will learn not having to rely on you to interpret all the time."
But I like doing it! Quinn exclaimed. I don't want anyone else to do that!
"Quinn, you just said it yourself that it is too much sometimes. And you don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed by admitting it!"
Quinn looked at her hands. She felt torn between relief and shame. She did not want to let Rachel down, but also knew that her suggestion was a good one.
Guess I'm running in circles, huh?
Rachel chuckled. "Don't be upset. Think about. I believe it will help us be more relaxed with these situations. I won't feel bad, because the official interpreter is getting paid, so I might as well make good use of him or her…." She wiggled her eyebrows and Quinn had to laugh at that. "… and you don't have to worry that I'm missing out on anything. I haven't realized how much I was relying on you to be my interpreter. I guess it was not fair from my side either to always expect you to translate. You need to relax and have fun as well. It's a win-win situation."
Quinn mulled over the words for a while. Then she leaned forward with a grimace as her ribs reminded her of their bruised state. Taking a not so deep breath she waited for the pain to subside, before she placed a kiss on her girlfriend's lips who had moved forward a bit to make it easier for the blonde.
When Quinn's lips touched Rachel's, the brunette let out an involuntary whimper. She did not notice it, but the sound made Quinn's heart ache. Because she just felt the same. Those lips where only hers. Hers to kiss and nobody else's.
Both women felt the electricity spark between them, as if two poles had finally reconnected after a long time. They gently kissed each other and drew back after a moment, looking at each other with a mixture of surprise, love and hope.
Neither of them said a word, afraid to spill the mood, afraid the other would apologize and diminish the meaning of this kiss.
Finally Rachel found her voice again.
"I have missed you so much," she whispered, their foreheads still touching.
Quinn sighed and pulled back slowly. "I have missed you too."
Just when she wanted to say something else, the front door opened and Santana appeared.
Seeing her two friends sitting so close together, she beamed.
"Hey, lovebirds, is this just a coincidence or are you sitting so close intentionally? Oh," she remembered and signed her sentence.
Quinn rolled her eyes, but smiled sheepishly.
"Santana, what are you doing here? I thought you had to work?" Rachel asked, not in the mood to start explaining what was still so raw and tender between her and Quinn.
"I'm on my way to the next client and as he lives close by, I thought I'd just pop in to see if everything was all right."
Throwing another scrutinizing look at the two faces in front of her, she smiled.
"But I see that it is… Anyway, I won't disturb you any longer. Have to go again. See you later Q. Rachel, will you still be here when I come back?"
Rachel pieced Santana's signs together in her head. Of course the Latina didn't know all the signs yet, but at least she tried to include every one she knew, even though it meant the sentences were somewhat scrambled for Rachel. But the brunette preferred scrambled sentences in sign language definitely above lip reading or not being able to understand at all.
"What time will you be back?" She asked Santana
"Around six, I think."
Rachel nodded. "Yes, I'll be here…Quinn shouldn't be left alone for the next forty-eight hours anyway as I understood." She cast a glance at Quinn who nodded affirmatively.
"Good. See you then! Oh, and have you told Quinn already about my name signs? Ha, I love them! See you, bye!"
As quickly as Santana had entered, she was out of the door again.
"Jesus, she acted as if she had caught us in flagrante while having sex."
Quinn laughed before she became earnest again.
Rachel, I'm sorry about that kiss.
"Why do you apologize? Rachel was confused.
Because I shouldn't have overwhelmed you like that. I just saw you sitting in front of me and I missed you so much that I couldn't… couldn't hold it back anymore.
Rachel sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. "Just like our first kiss. Remember? It was you who took the initiative." Then she chuckled. "Well, it's not like you forced yourself on me, now. If I remember correctly I met you half way."
Yes you did.
"Sooooo…..?"
Exactly. So…
"Let's take it slow, ok? Let's not rush things."
Not that I could, even if I wanted to, Quinn stated dryly.
Rachel smiled. "Yeah, well, you know what I mean."
Quinn nodded. I do.
Rachel lifted her arms and then stopped hesitantly, before leaning forward again and giving Quinn a short, but very gently hug.
After a moment where both women contemplated their words, Quinn scooted cautiously forward and tried to get up in slow motion.
Need to go to the bathroom, she grimaced. When I get back, tell me about Santana's name signs.
"Need help?"
Quinn shook her head. It would just be too embarrassing if she couldn't even go to the toilet without help, like she was completely handicapped or something.
When she closed the bathroom door behind her, she leaned against it, trying to take some measured breaths. God, despite the strong painkillers it fucking hurt!
It took Quinn a long time to get her pants open with one hand as her arm was back in its sling. Using it too much while signing had not helped to ease the pain.
When she finally came out again she found a worried Rachel standing outside, stepping back with an apologizing shrug. "Sorry, I... I was a bit worried, but I just didn't want to barge in..."
Since she could not ask through the closed door if Quinn was ok, she had debated whether to visually check on her or not. Rachel did not want her to faint while she wouldn't notice that something had happened. It had taken quite a while until Quinn emerged from the bathroom again.
Quinn looked down on herself and then signed slightly embarrassed: Can you help?
"Sure." Was all Rachel said, feeling he embarrassment seep through every pore of Quinn's skin. She was not sure why it was such a big deal for the blonde to ask for help, but then remembered how hard it was for herself to ask for it. Her thoughts were interrupted by Quinn's hand moving again, begging her to follow.
She slow-walked behind the blonde who grabbed the pad off the counter and wrote still standing up:
I might just stay in these clothes for the next three days until I can hopefully raise my arms at least up to chest level and move without the pain in my body again. But at least then I don't need any one to get me dressed.
"Nuhu, and how will that help in taking a shower or do you decide to run around unwashed?" Rachel asked with a challenging look.
I don't want to feel like an invalid, Rachel!
"Nobody is saying you are one! Why is it so difficult for you to accept help? Is it me or is it just the fact of depending on someone to help you do things?
Just like you I want to stay independent and I hate for others having to do things for me.
"Yes, but sometimes you need to accept help. Sometimes you have to admit that under current circumstances you might get through things a lot quicker and better with the help of others!"
Quinn stared at Rachel for a moment before she slowly signed: Have you realized that as well, Rachel?
The brunette opened her mouth and then closed it again when it dawned on her what she had just said. She placed a hand over her eyes and massaged her temples with her middle finger and thumb.
"I guess I have," she whispered, thinking back at her talk with Lauren and Carmen.
Quinn nodded and then chuckled. Here we are, twenty something years old, thinking we are all grown up and still we have so much to learn.
"Guess that's what they describe as growing pains, huh?"
Very much so, Quinn laughed.
… … …
At lunch time Rachel cooked a pumpkin soup that they ate together sitting on the couch. After finishing, Quinn took a short nap while Rachel put the dishes away and stored the soup in the fridge.
Carefully she placed a blanket over the sleeping woman, letting her gaze linger on the beautiful features. Then she adjusted the fabric a little before wandering a little around the room.
She had told Quinn about the name sings for Santana and the blonde had burst out laughing when she learned of Rachel's nickname for her friend. She had praised the brunette, because the signs were just perfect in her opinion.
Rachel grabbed a book from the shelf and started reading while the blonde slept.
plopping down into a soft chair that stood opposite of the couch so she could have Quinn in her view.
Once in a while Rachel glanced over to check if Quinn was all right. When the other woman started moving and shaking her head from left to right without opening her eyes, Rachel stood up alarmed.
Quinn opened her mouth and started talking. Rachel laid the book down and rushed over to her. She touched Quinn at her shoulder. She wasn't sure if Quinn was just dreaming or if she needed help.
"Quinn." When the blonde did not react, she shook her a little and called her name again.
"Quinn! Wake up!"
The singer jerked awake and shot a bewildered glance around the room before her eyes settled on Rachel's face who looked at her with a worried expression.
"You ok?"
Quinn nodded after a short moment when she got her bearings back. Then she rubbed her eyes.
"I think you've been dreaming. You talked in your sleep."
"What did I say?"
Rachel shook her head. "I don't know. I didn't understand you," she answered, touching her lips to indicate that she had not been able to read her lips; unlike now, when Quinn had asked the question aloud.
Sorry. She rubbed her temples. I need to clear my head.
"Here drink something that might help. You need to stay hydrated, especially with the medication they gave you. Ty to sleep a little more."
Quinn shook her head at the last suggestion, but drank half of the glass of water. Then she handed it back to Rachel.
Can we take a break from discussing some of our problems for a while? I don't think my head is up for another deep rooted conversation, she signed shyly.
Rachel smiled. "Yes, that's a good idea."
They decided to watch a movie together, because they both needed a break from all the talking. Later, if being asked about it, neither woman would have been able to tell what the movie was about; each being lost in their own thoughts.
Rachel sat close to Quinn and their shoulders were touching.
Half way through the movie Quinn felt her hand twitch. Through the fabric of her clothes she felt the warmth of Rachel's body next to her. She longed for more contact and finally gave in, interlacing her fingers with Rachel's and gently stroke her thumb over the soft skin. The sparks shot through her arm right into her heart. Just as with the kiss, the small touch sent her reeling. God, what this woman did to her was impossible to describe. From heaven to hell and back.
A small sigh escaped her lips.
Rachel smiled at her and squeezed her fingers shortly, before they focused back on the movie.
Quinn had never dared to hope that she would feel the other woman sit next to her, hold her hand or even kiss her so soon again. She hoped that they would take the chance they had been given and make the best out of it.
When a song started playing in the background of the movie, Quinn subconsciously started tapping her foot, which was propped up on the edge of the coffee table. Rachel felt the movement against her leg and the rhythm reminded her of another song that suddenly popped into her mind.
She almost had to laugh. No, it was not possible to escape. And the lyrics that went with that song fit perfectly to their situation as well.
Quinn threw a glance at her.
What?
The brunette shook her head. "Nothing." She pointed at Quinn's foot. "That just reminded me of something."
Quinn's eyes widened when she realized that Rachel referred to her rhythmic tapping.
Rachel, I'm sorry, that was thoughtless!
"No, no! Quinn, we have to stop this. You can't apologize every time you do something like that. If we want this to work, I have to fully accept that music is in your life and that you will react to it, that you will be it practicing at home, that you will be on stage, that you will sing under the shower or tap your foot when listening to a song. Either way, we need to find a way to both be comfortable with that."
Quinn blew a strand of hair out of her face. Easier said than done.
"Yes, but we have to try!"
Rachel's eyes were intense when she searched Quinn's face. This was important for both of them. She knew that Quinn was right and that it was easier said than done, but Rachel had to address this. They needed to put down some ground rules again and that was one of them.
Quinn looked away after a moment. And how do I know that … that… if I go about my business as freely as possible, you… you don't… She looked at her hands, not daring to sign the rest of the sentence.
"I don't freak out again?"
The blond head shortly bobbed up and down.
"I'll … I'll have to work on it."
Anything I can do to help?
Rachel leaned forward and propped her elbows on her knees, dropping her head into her hands. She felt Quinn's right hand on the small of her back and the warmth made her feel better instantly. It was a reassuring touch.
Slowly she leaned back again, making sure that Quinn was able to pull her hand back so she would not hurt her.
"Maybe, instead of running away from it, it might be better to try and … face it."
Rachel took a deep breath.
"You know, when I embrace you, I embrace music. In every sense. I remembered when I showed you that German song Ja -Yes. You took me in your arms and danced with me. And it almost felt so perfect, because I felt the music through you and your movements. Well, and it helped that I remembered the song."
Rachel bit her lip. "It's funny in a way. Lauren said that instead of pushing you away, I should embrace having you and music in my life to keep it close." Rachel sighed. "I can't live with or without it. I just have to find away thought the middle."
She jerked her chin towards the TV. "Describe it to me."
And Quinn told her about the song, the sound, the beat and the feel of it. She was skillful at describing the whole experience and Rachel got a pretty good idea of it, realizing that it was a good choice for the scene that was playing out in front of them.
With a small smile she settled back.
Reading the lyrics that were displayed on the screen, both women felt that they captured their situation perfectly.
When the words that you wanted to say
Are all coming out wrong,
When you burst into tears,
Though you're trying so hard to be strong,
Oh
We're standing in,
Along the fire,
Trying to make two wrongs right,
Hurt Lovers, Hurt, Hurt Lovers oh,
Don't give up, Don't, Don't give up no,
Think of it
You can't just let it go,
You gotta try,
You gotta try,
So when all that you ever believe
Comes apart at the seams,
And when all of the bridges you build
Are washed away in a stream,
Oh,
Whatever comes,
It's not the end,
We gotta fight,
And take a stand
Hurt Lovers, Hurt, Hurt Lovers oh,
Don't give up, Don't, Don't give up no,
Think of it
You can't just let it go,
You gotta try,
You gotta try,
Hurt Lovers, hurt so bad and then
Find something, to make things right again
It don't matter who wins out in the end
You gotta try,
We gotta try,
Even when you lose her,
And you played your last cards,
You know,
You know, you know
We're standing in,
The line of fire,
Trying to make two wrongs right,
Hurt Lovers, Hurt, Hurt Lovers oh,
Don't give up, Don't, Don't give up no,
You gotta try,
We gotta try,
Hurt Lovers, hurt so bad and then
Find something, to make things right again
It don't matter who wins out in the end
You gotta try,
We gotta try,
Hurt Lovers, hurt so bad again
Find something, to make things right again
It don't matter who wins out in the end
You gotta try,
We gotta try
The song is "Hurt Lovers" from Blue.
... About the last Glee episode… I usually don't say much about the show here, BUT: Puppet Master the most annoying episode from all five seasons so far. It got me so frustrated I can't even begin to describe it. Except for the 5 minutes of NY scenes, the characters were getting on my nerves, the dialogues were getting on my nerves, the puppets were getting on my nerves and I sincerely started considering not watching Glee anymore. Every time I think, hey, give it one more chance, but every time I do, I get more and more frustrated. Just move the thing to NY and be done with those storylines at McKinley.
I know opinions can differ and some might have like the show this week, but Glee is currently more frustrating for me than making me happy.
Sorry, had to get this off my chest.
Not sure if I will continue watching it. Please someone make that NY spin-off happen. Thank you.