Chapter seven

Once Christian and Ana's little reunion show is over and done with, the party gets going. Several couples are having the night off family-duty, which leads to a bit more drinking than usual. Never the party animal, Christian is discussing property development with one of Elliot's business partners. One part of his brain is concentrating on figures and marketing opportunities, while the other is constantly keeping Ana under surveillance. She's drinking too much. At least she skipped the last tequila round that Kate called, despite protests from the fellow shotters. He loathes drunken people – perfectly intelligent women and men getting ridiculous, stupid and out of control.

For now though, Ana is just happy and giggly – completely charming, actually – and Christian's hoping to get a chance to talk to her alone. From the corner of his eye, he sees Ana sashaying across the room to the side board where Elliot's IPod-speakers are being tortured with some crap from the nineties. She frowns while she's fiddling with the IPod, then smiles. She's found what she was looking for. In a moment, Clean Bandit fills the room, propagating real love, and spirits soar among the guests.

Elliot's business partner - Christian has already forgotten his name; he's not important - has stopped talking since Christian isn't listening anymore. He is watching Ana goofing around with Kate, dancing and laughing. Right now he doesn't give a fuck if people notice that he can't takes his eyes of her, not that anyone cares. Christian knows he's no hoot at parties and people tend to leave him alone after a while. Well, except some women. He's been determinedly avoiding eye contact with two of Kate's work colleagues all evening.

Frowning, Christian forgets about Ana for a moment when Nicole enters his mind. She is actually busy tonight with some work thing or other, but in any case Christian would never have brought her to a place where he knew Anastasia would be. It doesn't matter that Ana hasn't been in his life for ten years – while waiting for this party to happen so he could see her again, he realized that bringing a date was just unthinkable. Control freak that he is, he should be pissed off for letting himself get so affected by Ana already. But it's the other way around. Christian likes this feeling. It's like he's been dead inside for ten years. Or dormant, and he's just starting to slowly wake up.

He knows this is unfair to Nicole and he needs to deal with it. Very soon. He might be many things, but he is not a liar and a cheat. Christian is fully aware that he might not have a chance in hell with Ana but he can't be with one woman while constantly thinking about another.

When the Clean Bandit song fades out and is replaced by something else, Ana makes her way to the kitchen to get a drink. Christian immediately gets up and follows, striding quickly to avoid interception. He turns the corner to enter the kitchen and bumps straight into the little au pair. Christian has to grab her arm to prevent her from falling over. "I'm sorry", he says darkly, irritated by the interruption. The poor girl goes bright pink when she looks up at him, makes a faint noise and disappears from the kitchen.

"Still intimidating young girls, I see," Ana says, amused. She's standing by the kitchen sink, a glass of water in her hand. Her cheeks are glowing from the dancing, eyes glittering mischievously. Her good mood is contagious, and Christian smiles back while leaning next to her on the kitchen counter.

"The odd one, it seems." He's trying hard not to get distracted by the fact that Ana is still panting slightly, and that the pale skin above her discreet cleavage is moist with sweat. She's wearing a dark green blouse that emphasizes her round breasts and accentuates those huge blue eyes. The self-proclaimed master of self control, Christian has always been able to curb his reactions to women, no matter how hot they may be. Except with Anastasia. Still her, after a fucking decade.

"You look warm. Do you want to get some air?" It sounds like a cheesy pick-up line, but Ana nods, and Christian follows her through the bustling living room and out on the patio.

Kate and Elliot have a big, lush garden with small seating arrangements scattered here and there among bushes and flower beds. A few smokers are already sitting on the deck chairs close to the house so Ana leads the way via a foot path to some wooden swings at the back of the garden.

They take a swing each and sit down. "Go ahead," Christian says nodding at her swing "You should give it a go". Ana shakes her head, looking at her feet. "I have. Makes me nauseous."

They go quiet. Night is falling, and the garden lights suddenly turn on making the greenery around them look almost magical. Christian's been waiting to get her alone so he can talk to her, but now that they're here and it's fucking perfect, he can't think of a single thing to say. So he says the opposite of what he wants. "Are you cold? Would you like to go inside?"

But she shakes her head again and looks up at him. "No, this is really nice. I'd like to stay a while if you don't mind?" Christian nods, relieved.

"So tell me about Thomas," he says softly, before he even realizes it. Ana looks up at him in surprise, her eyes large, disbelieving. "Seriously?"

"If you want to, of course", he says gazing right at her, surprised that he means it. Or at least, kind of means it. Obviously, he would rather not acknowledge that Ana's ever even looked at another man. Ten years ago, just the very thought would've driven him insane. Christian's not entirely sure how he will handle it now either and he's grateful for the poor lighting in case he'll have trouble checking his facial expressions. The thing is, if he wants to get to know Ana again, and to have the slightest chance at being a part of her life again, Christian cannot pretend the last ten years didn't happen. This is where they have to start.

"Oh, ok …," Ana's voice is hesitant. "I guess … what do you want to know?"

"How about starting from the beginning, how did you two meet?" Oh, this is going to be painful.

"At a press function. Thomas does … did marketing for an indie publishing company." Ana glances at him. "We got along, he asked me out." She shrugs.

"What was he like?"

Ana smiles. "He was sweet, kind of funny, generous to a fault." She frowns. "Odd taste in books."

"Was he a good father?" Christian says quietly. He knows the answer; he doubts Ana would have stayed that long with Thomas if he hadn't been a good father, or at least adequate. There's no questioning that she always puts Sara's well-being first.

"He was." Ana raises her head to look at Christian, but he can't read her expression in the dim light. He wishes he knew what she was thinking. And he's dying to know if she ever wishes things had been different.

"You were married for a long time …," Christian hesitates, and closes his eyes. When he continues his voice is dark and forced. "Is he the love of your life?"

Ana freezes on her swing for a few seconds. Then she starts kicking at the grass, eyes firmly on the ground. Her voice is so quiet, he can just make out her reply.

"No, Christian".