Wow. Longest chapter ever.
gllover22 and ILoveDiannaAgron: Glad you liked the interaction with Beth in the last one.
lilithfxfaberry: Unfortunately I couldn't open your link to the video you recommended :-(
Oh, just in case you have forgotten, I don't own Glee. If I did, it would look a whole lot different than the show we are watching, believe me…
Anyway, there you go! Hope you like this one!
Chapter 60
When getting ready to go out to meet Lauren and Max for dinner, Rachel asked Quinn several times if she really felt like coming along. She could have cursed herself of having asked her if she wanted to join them. Not that she didn't want Quinn with her, but because she didn't want the blonde to exhaust herself.
On the way to the restaurant Rachel said: "I feel a little bad to have overreacted so much when Santana suggested for you to go out Sunday night. Here I am dragging you around town twice in one day! First on a walk through the park and now to meet my friends."
Quinn chuckled.
Don't worry. I'll tell you if it is too much for me and then you can just carry me, the blonde joked which earned her a laugh from Rachel.
"Sure, no problem." The brunette countered courteously and held out her arms. Quinn grabbed one hand and pushed it down.
I'm good for now, she smiled while signing. And as I have mentioned before, I would love to meet Lauren and her boyfriend.
Rachel squeezed her hand gratefully. "Sure that you are ok?"
Quinn nodded. I'm sick of being inside all the time. The pain killers also help. It feels good to be moving a bit. Even if it is very slowly.
Rachel threw her another worried glance, but didn't say anything further.
When they reached their destination, Rachel held the door open for the blonde. Inside, they noticed that Lauren and Max were already seated.
Lauren was positively surprised to see Quinn as well.
Rachel had talked to her over Skype two days ago and had told her the whole story about the blonde's hospital stay and how they had somehow managed to work their way through all of what had happened.
"Hello Quinn, good to see you. I hope you're doing ok," Lauren greeted the blonde aloud while signing and gave the singer a light hug.
Thank you. Quinn answered. I hope I'm not intruding. I was just happy to get out of the house for a change. And I thought it was a nice idea to meet you again. And, she gestured towards Max, your boyfriend.
"Max, this is Quinn, Quinn, this is Max," Rachel introduced the two singing and talking. The two briefly shook hands and exchanged the usual pleasantries while sitting down.
The blonde gingerly lowered herself onto the chair under the watchful gaze of her girlfriend. Quinn wondered briefly if she had been to bold to go out so shortly after her stay at the hospital. But she couldn't stand to see those four walls of her apartment anymore. She had been staring at them way too much even before her fall. She had longed for some normal social life again; she had hardly dared to hope that it was really happening so soon.
So let her be damned if some bruised ribs and a headache got the better of her. Hell, she had performed at Nationals while still healing from her car accident. She had performed at another National Championship literally minutes before giving birth to Beth. Having dinner with friends now while healing from a few bruises was nothing in comparison. It was nothing but bliss while she had Rachel by her side.
Smiling she rubbed her right hand over the brunette's thigh under the table. Rachel answered by gently laying her hand on hers.
Max asked Quinn about her show and she told him what it was about. He wanted to listen to the music and Rachel bravely told him that he should go ahead and that the music was beautiful.
Lauren noticed the spark of sadness in her friend's eyes, but other than that she seemed to be fine.
While Max and Quinn where continuing to discuss the show and what Max was doing as a profession, Lauren asked Rachel just signing:
So, how are you? Really, I mean.
Rachel chuckled. Nothing has changed, since you and I talked the other day. I'm … good. Still somewhat surprised how fast a life can take turns, but I'm quite relieved and happy and hopeful. I think we are getting there.
And how are you coping with all the rest of the issues we talked about? Lauren was interested in the details.
The music, you mean?
The black haired woman nodded.
That has also taken quite an interesting turn, Rachel smiled and told her about Kayla and her friend's idea.
Lauren loved it.
This sounds really great, Rachel! I'm sure the kids will love it! And it might give you also a different view on the whole topic.
Yes, I think so, Rachel let out a long breath. We'll see. First I have to talk to Helena and Kayla.
Helena? Do you know the school she teaches at? Could be that I know her from the classes I took at the School for the Deaf. She did not teach adults, but it could be I met her once or twice. Anyway, if it is her, she is really nice and I'm sure you two will work something out together. She is always open to new ideas.
Well, I figured, Rachel answered dryly, thinking that you really had to be adventurous to plan something like taking a whole school class of deaf kids to a musical.
Lauren laughed and Rachel joined her.
… … …
The four of them had a pleasant evening and Quinn seemed to fit right in. When she was telling a little anecdote from one of her rehearsals, Rachel leaned back in her chair and watched the scene. Quinn was beautiful and charming and she had the full attention of her listeners. Some of the neighboring tables looked over once or twice and a few people seemed to recognize her, but she did not seem disturbed by that and kept her attention fully on Max and Lauren.
That was what made her so unique, what gave everybody the feeling to be special when being around Quinn. She always tried to give you her full attention, no matter what was going on around her and no matter to whom she was talking to.
Rachel gently laid a hand on the back of Quinn's chair and rubbed little circles on the other woman's back. This drew a small smile form the blonde. When she finished her story, she turned a little and the look she gave Rachel let the brunette forget everything around her.
While Max was talking to his girlfriend about whether to get a dessert or notQuinn signed: Thank you for taking me with you. I'm really enjoying the evening. It's great to get to know these two a little better and I can see why you like them so much. I really appreciate it that you wanted to share this with me.
Rachel reached out and tucked a stray blonde strand behind Quinn's right ear and nodded.
"This was important to me and I'm glad you understood." She said aloud.
Little did they know that Quinn soon would get a lesson in understanding from one of their friends that she had not imagined.
As Lauren and Max still could not decide over what dessert to choose, Quinn suggested to have coffee and ice cream for dessert at her place, because she felt the fatigue set in and Rachel was adamant that the went home so the blonde could rest. However, that did not deter the singer to invite Max and Lauren to join them.
The two friends agreed and together they made their way home, adapting to Quinn's slower pace and joking about her walking like a grandma, which the blonde tolerated good humoredly.
… … …
They settled on the couch and the comfortable lounge chairs as they sipped their coffee and enjoyed their ice cream.
Santana soon joined them when she got home. She squeezed on the couch next to Rachel after introducing herself to the two guests. She was surprised about the visit, but when she saw how relaxed and happy Quinn and Rachel looked, she figured that it was a good thing they had invited friends over.
Since it was Saturday the next day, none of them was in a hurry to get into bed, until the Latina reminded Rachel of her interview the next morning.
Wow, you're doing an interview? Max reassured himself. With whom?
Rachel saw his pure astonishment written across his face. She hastened to explain.
A freelancer who works for .
Sounds important. I thought you weren't singing anymore, he stated a little confused at hearing the publisher's name and Lauren elbowed him in his side.
What? He looked innocently at her.
Lauren looked like she couldn't believe what her boyfriend had just said. Can't you be a little more subtle?
Apparently not if I don't know what the problem is.
Rachel sensed a small fight breaking out and spread her hands.
Guys, she waved. Guys, it's ok, really. And she explained the situation to them and why she was going to do the interview.
After hearing what went on with Rachel's former manager, Max sighed. And here I thought my life was eventful. And since he drew a really droopy face, everyone else had to laugh, which eased the tension in the room.
"Nah, nothing like a good drama queen like Rachel Berry to spice up her own life," Santana threw in while Quinn interpreted.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "It's not like I asked for it, Santana," she answered.
"Right, you didn't and that is why we will make sure this interview will be the best you have ever given."
Rachel looked doubtful, but didn't say anything.
Go girl, you show that woman what you are made of. After everything you've gone through, this should be an easy ride, Lauren signed encouragingly.
Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand.
"What'd she say?" Santana asked Quinn and Rachel, pointing at Lauren.
The black haired woman caught the hint and repeated her words out loud, adding "Sorry, sometimes I forget to speak up, if everybody else knows how to sign."
"Well, getting there, veeeeeery slowly, but I'm getting there," Santana mumbled looking at her hands. Her comment made everyone else laugh and Rachel squeezed the Latina's fingers in a sign of gratitude that she was still trying and learning.
They changed the topic and Max told them about an upcoming tournament at school with his basketball kids to which he invited everybody and they agreed to go. Even Santana did not decline, deciding that if she already had one deaf friend, she might as well add Rachel's friends to her circle. Might as well put her hard work of learning ASL to good use.
Besides, she liked Max and Lauren. They were easy to talk to, funny and relaxed. They patiently overlooked Santana's every stumble across unfamiliar signs and adjusted their speed and choice of words to her level of understanding. She appreciated the little gesture and noticed how Rachel also threw them a grateful smile at including the Latina in their conversation. Lauren spoke out loud as well whenever she had something to say, though Max did not feel too comfortable, so either Lauren or Quinn interpreted for Santana.
Everybody was positively surprised how comfortable and easy going the whole evening had been. Even integrating the hearing people into the conversations had not been a problem and vice versa. It seemed just… normal. It had just all … happened. Without planning, without discussing everybody had adjusted naturally to the needs of the others and that was what had made the evening so pleasant.
When finally calling it a night around twelve, Lauren and Max left and they all decided to have dinner again soon.
Rachel realized that sometimes you just had to give people a chance to be themselves and things worked out much smoother than trying to control everything with your own assumptions and prejudices.
With a relieved and happy sigh she turned from the door and almost bumped into Quinn who stood press behind her.
The blonde used the momentum to let her lips crash against Rachel's and before long the tip of her tongue begged for entry.
"Uh, guys?"
Quinn pulled back with a sigh while Rachel let out a small sound of protest.
"Santana, that takes on stalking qualities! Are you getting turned on by watching us?" Quinn asked a little annoyed without turning around.
"Hey, it's not my fault if you keep making out in front of me," the Latina retorted with a shrug.
"Oh, get a grip. What do you want?" This time Quinn turned her head and arched a telltale eyebrow.
"Did she watch us again?" Rachel asked, oblivious of the small exchange.
Quinn nodded and the brunette added her own comment.
"Stalker."
The Latina rolled her eyes. "Really. You two do belong together. You even think alike.
Quinn signed for Rachel and explained Santana's comment. Then both looked at each other and shrugged in unison, grinning.
"Ok, Beringer and Wells, tomorrow. At nine. Sharp. Here." And she pointed at Rachel. Quinn helped out again signing.
"Yes, I'll be here on time." The brunette waved while Santana disappeared into her room.
Quinn stepped back a little to have more room for her hands.
Are you leaving?
"Yes, it's late and you need to rest."
But… why don't you stay here?
"Quinn, you need to sleep and I don't want to accidently hurt you during the night." She pointed at the blonde's ribs.
"Quinn, tell her that's bull and for god's sake get that woman into your bed!" Santana shouted on her way into the bathroom.
"What'd she say?"
Quinn repeated Santana's words and then added: You know, when she's right she's right. You're staying.
"But…"
Quinn ignored the protest, grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her gently towards her room.
The brunette followed unwillingly at first, but in order to not hurt Quinn by jerking back her arm, she ordered her feet to move behind the blonde.
As if Quinn had felt the argument coming up, she signed: It's after twelve and until you're home and then back again tomorrow, you hardly won't have time to sleep. I'll be fine. She looked at Rachel, her head tilted slightly to the side. Will you? Be fine, I mean?
Rachel looked at the gorgeous face in front of her with the hopeful spark in the hazel eyes.
Who could resist? She damn well couldn't. She had known it the moment Quinn suggested for her to stay.
"Yes." Rachel agreed shyly.
Quinn reached under her chin and lifted her head so she could look into those brown eyes.
Don't be afraid, Rachel. We will be fine. And if you feel better about my ribs, we can place a small pillow against them that should you unconsciously move against me, it won't hurt.
"Ok." She answered, still feeling shy as if it was the first time she was going to bed with a lover. And she knew this wasn't about sex. This was just about lying together after two long weeks. Two fucking hard, long and wasted weeks.
Rachel sighed.
"Sorry, don't know what came over me. Guess we have to learn to get closer again on every level.
Right. Why not start with cuddling up under the blankets, falling asleep and waking up together?
"Yes, that sounds good," Rachel smiled and Quinn went to grab one of the brunette's PJs that were stashed in the dresser.
You go first into the bathroom. I need a little time to get undressed.
"You need help?" Under other circumstances Rachel would have sidled up against Quinn asking the same question, but with a much huskier voice, already fiddling with the buttons of the blonde's blouse. But as it were she refrained from the intimate gesture.
No, I try myself at being independent, Quinn joked and grimaced, thinking that she would have loved for Rachel to help her undress again. And not in the practical, but more in the… sensual sense. But something held her back.
They were taking it slow, right.
In the hallway Santana crossed Rachel's path on her way back into her room after finishing her night time ablutions. The Latina stopped and then hugged the smaller woman with a warm smile. Rachel leaned into the embrace and Santana pressed her a little closer.
The taller woman smiled when she realized how much more physical contact she had with Rachel now because it sometimes showed more than a thousand words. She had never been a hugger, but Rachel had a certain 'hugging quality' that always felt good.
Due to the circumstances Santana knew it was the right thing to do and even just being friends, it felt good to hold the petite woman in her arms and give her support and show her that she loved her – on a platonic level.
Welcome back, she then signed and turned with a satisfied grin when she saw the grateful smile quirk Rachel's lips.
Later in bed, Rachel carefully placed a hand on Quinn's stomach. The brunette lay on her left side while Quinn was on her back. That was the only position at night that was almost pain free.
"That ok?" Rachel asked, feeling the small protective pillow against her own chest.
Quinn nodded and sneaked her arm around the cushion. This way she could feel Rachel and placed her hand against her girlfriend's hip.
Thank you for the wonderful evening. And for staying here, she then signed.
Thank you for wanting me here, Rachel replied in the same manner, still trying to digest that she was really lying next to Quinn in the same bed again.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself tonight. And I'm happy that this was such a relaxed evening."
Quinn turned her head and dropped a kiss on the brunette's head who had snuggled up against her shoulder.
"I love you," the blonde whispered and let her fingers form the universal sign with her thumb, index finger and pinky extended.
Feeling Quinn's breath on her hair, and seeing her hand motion, Rachel mirrored the movement and touched her fingers against the blonde's.
This way, both women fell asleep.
… … …
When Rachel woke up the next morning, she had to orient herself for a second. As soon as her gaze fell upon tousled blonde hair, she knew where she was and a smile lit up her face. She placed a gentle kiss on the soft lips and murmured in between caresses with her lips:
"Good."
Kiss.
"Morning."
Kiss.
"Sweet."
Kiss.
That caused Quinn's chest to vibrate in a response and Rachel fixed her eyes on the other woman's lips to catch the mumbled "Morning. More!" and the pursed lips told her everything.
God, how she had missed waking up next to Quinn, to kiss her, to feel her and for her to be the first thing she saw.
Quinn smiled with her eyes still closed and inhaled the scent she so connected with Rachel. This was bliss. Pure bliss to wake up and feel her body next to her, her lips on her own, to hear that voice caress her ears. This voice! She had missed it so much, missed so much the whispered love confessions.
Opening her eyes she met the brown ones only inches away from her.
Just when they wanted to kiss each other again, the door flew open and Santana walked in, carrying two coffee mugs.
Quinn's head jerked around and Rachel's jerked up.
"That does it, Santana! Can't you even knock?" Quinn asked angrily.
Santana cleared her throat and placed the cups on the night stand.
"I did knock twice, but while you two where making out; you didn't hear me, apparently. And since it is already a quarter to nine, I figured I'd wake you two up. We have an interview to go to."
"Shit! Is it that late already?" Quinn grabbed the alarm clock off her night stand and groaned.
Rachel threw a look on the two hands. "Damn. Is it that late already?" She unknowingly repeated the same question.
Santana nodded trying to shoo them out of bed.
"Good that you have me to get your lives organized, otherwise you'd probably be late for you own funeral in fifty years."
"Gee thanks, I was planning to live a liiiiiittle longer than that, Satan." Quinn quipped while she took stock of her body.
Legs, check.
Taking deep breaths – half check. Still hurt, but not as much. Good.
Left arm. Check. Went shoulder high. Good.
Right arm. Check. Could touch the top of her head. Combing would work again, yay!
Slowly, the blonde stood up, following Rachel out of bed.
Rachel watched her and laughed a little. "Are you checking your inventory?" She spoke out loud and signed along, which had become a habit now and Quinn had to admit that she loved seeing the slender hands form the signs.
Quinn nodded. Yes. All working. More or less. She smiled and stole a kiss from her girlfriend's lips. Then she gave her a small slap on her well-toned behind.
They took a shower and Rachel helped Quinn getting dressed. The blonde chose a pair of jeans and a gray woolen turtleneck sweater. It was impressive how fast she seemed to heal because she managed getting her clothes on mostly by herself.
Now you have to get dressed, come on. The blonde reminded Rachel after the brunette stole another kiss from her.
"Damn, I don't have any clean clothes with me." Rachel muttered.
Quinn pulled her to the closet. You still have some stashed here, remember?
"Oh, right. Let's see…." How could she forget? Of course she still had some stuff here, same as Quinn had things at her place. They had not gotten around to exchanging them. And a good thing it was, too.
Rachel pulled out a pair of black jeans and a gray blouse with a black ornamental pattern. She had to pull the blouse over her head as it just had two pearl buttons in the front at the neckline with revealed some of her cleavage, but not too much. The arms were widely cut and came together at the cuffs. At the bottom a waistband hugged the garment close to the brunette's hips and caused the fabric fall loosely above it. It was comfortable, looked elegant and professional, though not over the top.
Just perfect for the occasion.
You look great! Quinn signed, admiring her girlfriend. Breakfast and then let's go. I'm sure Santana is already waiting impatiently for us.
Despite Rachel's repeated protests, the blonde still insisted on coming along.
"Listen, I will only allow you to come with me if we will come straight back afterwards and you will then take a rest." She looked sternly at Quinn.
Yes, nurse. The singer nodded dutifully. But come I will! She added poetically.
Rachel smiled and studied Quinn for a moment.
"Quinn, do you know what you are doing?"
No, what? The blonde looked confused.
"You are being overprotective." Rachel stated gently.
Quinn opened her mouth and closed it again. Before she could say anything, Rachel continued.
"You are still hurting, you shouldn't be moving around so much. It was already too much taking you to dinner yesterday. I saw how tired you were in the end and how you tried to rest your hands. Why didn't you say anything? Why did you invite Lauren and Max back home? It would have been ok to call it a night after we finished dinner at the restaurant."
Quinn took a deep breath.
I had fun and I was sick of my own thoughts. Having dinner with you and your friends was a very welcome distraction. That's why I asked them to come up for coffee. I hope I didn't overstepping any boundaries regarding your friends.
"No, you didn't. It was absolutely ok to invite them, despite you still needing to heal. This is not about Lauren or Max, it is about you. So what kinds of thoughts were bothering you?"
Quinn licked her lips and looked out of the window. Then she turned back to Rachel.
I kept going over the last days in Lima over and over again trying to figure out what I had done, what I had overlooked, where I had been inconsiderate… I couldn't rest, I felt so horrible, so alone, so shocked, so hopeless. Even the past days, when we were together, talking and discussing things I still felt this restraint in you, in me. There is always this insecurity between us. It's hard never quite knowing what will happen next and where it will lead us.
She rested her hands for a moment and massaged her left arm. Rachel got up and grabbed a pad and pen from her bag and held it out to Quinn. With a remorseful look from under her lashes Quinn reached out and took it.
She wrote down her next thoughts.
And during dinner, it was just as if something had dissolved. It felt normal again between us. It was great to get to know your friends and that you wanted to share this part with me. I really had fun and I like Max and Lauren. And it all seemed so natural, the conversations we had, the way we all interacted. The way we touched.
Rachel looked up from the words and saw the desire in the hazel eyes in front of her. She was sure her eyes were casting off the same aura.
The brunette nodded her understanding. Rachel had felt the same that evening. It had almost felt like before. She had been truly relaxed, as if she had finally managed to find a way back to be herself. She felt centered again.
The brunette bent forward and cupped Quinn's face, placing a tender kiss on her lips.
"I know what you mean."
She kissed her again.
"But don't you think you should stay at home this morning?"
The blonde shook her head. No. I'm ok and I want to come. Unless you don't want me to.
"No, I'd like you to come, but consider what this could mean for you. The reporter might find out about us. And I have no idea what he will do with the information."
I'm fine with that, as long as you are.
Rachel nodded. Then a small smile spread across her face. "So. Official public appearance, huh?"
Quinn chuckled. Yes.
"Good!" Rachel smiled.
They quickly sipped their now lukewarm coffee and joined Santana in the kitchen who had already prepared some toasts.
"Oh, breakfast, thanks!" Rachel was surprised by the Latina's foresight.
"Swallow that food and let's go, you lazy asses. Can't believe you almost slept through your own interview," Santana shook her head in mock disbelieve after having written down the same sentence for Rachel to read.
Glancing at the kitchen clock the two women noticed that it was nine thirty already.
Hastily they each grabbed a slice before all three hurried out of the apartment to catch a cab.
… … …
The way to the hotel was easy as the usual commuter traffic was lighter on the weekend. They arrived ten minutes to ten and took a seat in the lobby to wait for the reporter.
Rachel scanned the lobby, but did not see him, neither did Santana. They sat down to the side of the entrance to wait for him.
Rachel glanced around again and watched the people buzzing around. Again it hit her how much the sounds had given off information about the locations. Information she now had to get through her eyes and other means.
She imagined the murmured voices from the reception desk drifting over to them. She evoked the sound of the small girl's running feet on the tile floor who crossed the entrance hall. Then Rachel glanced up to get a feeling of the measurements of the whole structure to get an idea of how the sound would carry.
Leaning over she asked Quinn in a low voice about her musings. Quinn looked around and tried to capture the various sounds and their volume in order to describe them adequately to Rachel, when Carmen approached them.
They each greeted her warmly with a hug.
"Hello Carmen. Good to see you. Thank you for coming to help out, especially on a Saturday." Rachel thanked her.
"You're welcome, Rachel. I didn't have any other plans, so I'm glad to help." She said out loud and signed, while taking a seat. "I just hope this will work out a little better than the last meeting I interpreted for you," she commented.
"Yeah, let's hope so," Rachel answered, remembering the meeting with Sharon. That was one reason why she wanted Carmen to be with her and not an interpreter she did not know. Carmen was familiar with the whole story and somehow that made Rachel feel more comfortable.
… … …
Patrick Remmond entered the hotel. Standing in the large lobby he let his eyes roam around the place, until he finally spotted his interview partner in the corner. He recognized Rachel Berry immediately, as well as her friend, the one with the attitude. What surprised him was the blonde he saw sitting with them.
Quinn Fabray.
That was interesting. Maybe a coincidence? No, it didn't look like it, not the way they talked and interacted with each other. There was in intimacy between them that seemed to go beyond a normal friendship.
The fourth person he did not know. It was a black haired woman in her early forties. Maybe the friend's mother? They looked a little alike, but then again, no, that didn't fit. After watching them a moment longer without being detected, he figured that she must be the interpreter, the way she acted.
He had learned early enough that you could learn a lot about people if you just watched them, especially in situations like these. Sometimes he would pretend to be late, just to be able to get a first impression without the interruptions of a conversation going on. After a moment longer Patrick decided that he had watched enough and walked up to the little group to re-introduce himself.
When greeting the reporter and seeing his astonished look, Quinn explained that she was only there as moral support for Rachel and that nothing she would say or do was supposed to appear in the interview.
Patrick nodded his understanding and invited the group up to the junior suite he was allowed to use in the name of his biggest business partner .
They settled on the large couch in the living room. Patrick had ordered some soft drinks which were delivered promptly.
After providing everyone with their drinks, he sat down next to Rachel. Carmen promptly asked him to switch seats and sit around the bend next to herself. She explained that this way Rachel could watch him and see her hands in parallel while interpreting.
Quinn had watched the whole scene quietly. She placed her hand on Rachel's small of her back and felt the brunette relax ever so slightly, appreciating her nearness and support.
Santana had settled down in the chair across from Rachel. This way she could watch the reporter and keep an eye on her friend to see if anything was making her uncomfortable. So far, the journalist seemed friendly and professional, but you never knew.
"Ok, do you mind if I tape the interview and take some pictures of you in between or at the end, Ms. Berry?" He asked and looked at Rachel. Her eyes quickly darted to his right, where Carmen Rodalba moved her hands in front of her body, relaying his question to Rachel.
Rachel shook her head. "No, that's fine." Her own hands moved along with her words. She felt more secure that way. It gave her an echo of what she was saying.
"Good. Thank you for agreeing to come. As mentioned before, nothing that we discuss here will be printed before I have your consent. Under the light of the circumstances with Sharon Basont wanting to publish an article about you herself, I will get this ready as soon as we finish. Then so you can read over it tonight and discuss the changes with me – if there are any. This way we might even manage to get in online on Sunday."
Rachel waited until Carmen had finished signing and nodded. "Good. That's ok with me."
Santana leaned forward. "Just to make sure again. Everything that is said here in this room stays here until we give approval for it to be printed."
The reporter nodded. "That's what we agreed on."
Santana pulled out two print outs of a pre-written contract which she had received from Rachel. It was a contract layout the former singer had used before when doing interviews.
Patrick Remmond began with summarizing Rachel's achievements, starting with her studies at NYADA, winning the Carmen Thibideaux showcase as the first freshman in the history of the school, continuing with the various on-school and off-school projects until her role in A Tale To Tell and then finally mentioning her greatest triumph in the lead role of Funny Girl.
Rachel nodded in between. He had done his homework, she granted him that.
So far, that was the easy part. Now he was getting to the more sensitive questions, she was sure.
"How was it for you when you woke up after your accident and noticed that you couldn't hear anything?"
Rachel hesitated for a second before answering. Quinn was short of shouting objection because of the very personal nature of the question, but the brunette shot her a short look and shook her head slightly with a smile.
Then she went on describing her first days, the devastation, the shock, the realization and how she somehow had tried to adapt in the weeks and months that followed. She told him about the ASL lessons she took up and mentioned Carmen to be her teacher.
Patrick wanted to know if it was ok to ask Carmen a question and Rachel shrugged, implying that he would have to check with her if she wanted to answer.
Carmen conceded, shortly describing how she met Rachel for the first time and how the lessons where set-up in answer to the young man's question.
"So this does not only contain teaching ASL, but also teaching your pupils living skills?"
"Yes, to a certain degree. My main focus is teaching ASL. In other schools this might be done by different teachers, but I qualified for both. I can adapt the lessons to the individual and this makes it easier in the setting of the community center, because there are not many - or no -other teachers for the deaf."
Patrick was silent for a moment.
"It's hard for me to imagine, but what do you have to learn, besides sign language. Please excuse my ignorance."
Rachel answered him. "It is very disorienting at first, when you can't hear anything. We usually rely a lot on our hearing to scan our surroundings. Often this happens on a subconscious level. Once this source is taken away, you have to learn to compensate. Carmen taught me a lot about how to perceive certain sounds through vibrations, for example. Not only in a room, but also outside in the streets. But of course it will never make up for the actual sounds. And I have learned a lot more about body language and facial expressions and how to read them," Rachel explained.
"And are you completely deaf or can you still hear something?"
"No. I can't perceive any sound at all." Rachel answered quietly.
Quinn reached over and squeezed her hand. Patrick looked at the brunette again and tried to gauge how she must be feeling.
"Have you ever had the feeling that you couldn't go on, that what you had lost was just too much to bear?"
"Sorry, but this question is off limits, Mr. Remmond," Santana cut in.
He nodded. "I didn't mean any disrespect. I just try to understand."
"It's ok Santana." Rachel turned from her friend to the reporter after Carmen clarified the situation for her. As Santana was a little outside her line of vision when she concentrated on the reporter, she had not noticed that Santana said something. Only when Patrick Remmond moved to look at the Latina and Carmen explained to her what she was saying, Rachel realized that the Latina had interrupted the reporter.
"I will answer your question, but this will not make it into the print version."
"That is absolutely ok."
Rachel took a breath. "Yes, there was a point when I considered ending my life. Or what was left of it. My life had already ended with that accident. I had lost everything I ever dreamed of, I ever wanted. But…something held me back. Something told me I should at least try to go on." She quickly cast a glance at Quinn. "I'm glad I did," she added with a small smile.
Patrick felt intrigued by the subtle hint.
"Did you two get to know each other during a show?" He asked, pointing between Quinn and Rachel.
"No. We know each other from high school. We were in the show choir together."
"Oh, so you go back quite a long time!"
"Yes…"
Patrick looked between them. "Do I sense a 'but' here? He prompted.
Quinn simply stated that they lost contact in college for a while before they met again by chance in New York.
"Was this before or after the accident?"
"After," Rachel stated simply.
She looked at Quinn. Both were not sure if they liked the direction this was going. Did Rachel want to talk about the details of their relationship? Did Quinn want that?
Rachel turned and faced Quinn, shielding her hands a little from the reporters probing eyes. Not that he would have understood anything, but she wanted this conversation to be private.
Do you want him to know about us? About how we met?
Quinn looked into the brown eyes in front of her. I don't mind. If you want to tell him, then I'll be ok with it.
Well, we are not just telling him, but the rest of New York if we decide to let him print it.
Right. Still, whatever you are comfortable with.
Ok. For me it would be ok to tell.
Quinn nodded. Then go ahead. And she placed a hand on Rachel's knee encouragingly.
The brunette turned back to Patrick.
"We met at the community center where I took lessons with Carmen. Quinn didn't know about my accident at that point."
"What happened when you noticed?" The reporter looked at Quinn.
"She acted very gracefully about it", Rachel cut in. "And she started taking up lessons with Carmen, as if… as if it was the most natural thing to do." The former singer squeezed Quinn's hand.
"Yes, that's right. I met her shortly in the hallway when she learned about Rachel's deafness. She came back later that day to set up a schedule with me to learn sign language. I was impressed how determined she was to learn to communicate with Rachel." Carmen added as an explanation after asking Rachel if it was ok to do so.
"Was it difficult to learn?" The guy looked between both women.
Rachel shrugged. "If you have no other choice, you are very determined to learn. Many signs symbolize natural gestures or meanings, but it is a great difference truly expressing yourself this way if you are learning it later in life. I can still talk, so it is easier for me to express myself, but for others, talking to me, I can imagine that it is more difficult and frustrating."
She looked at Quinn who took up the cue. "It was at the beginning. We had to use pen and paper a lot in the beginning, but at a certain point it becomes part of you and once you don't have to think about it as much anymore, it gets easier." She threw an encouraging look at Santana. "Besides, if you speak along, by reading lips and the signs you can get a good understanding of what is being said, even some of the subtleties."
"Did all your friends and family learn as well in order to communicate with you?"
A genuine smile spread across Rachel's face before answering that question. She looked from Quinn to Santana. "I have to say, I have the best friends in the world. The closest ones are all learning. And I'm deeply grateful for that gesture." She threw another smile in the direction of Santana who squirmed a little under the praise.
"Cut it Berry, or I'll start crying and you wouldn't want to live down the consequences," The Latina mumbled and Rachel and Quinn laughed out loud at that confession.
"We all struggled in the beginning, but now, the people closest to me, they can all communicate with me."
"That is great to hear," the young man acknowledged. His eyes skipped back between Carmen's or Rachel's hands and their faces when they signed.
"And some of them never let my deafness hold me back." Rachel added with an afterthought. This was delivered with a tell-tale glance at Santana, who lifted the corner of her mouth in a smirk. She knew what Rachel hinted at.
"How so?"
Rachel chuckled. "Oh, Santana dragged me to one of Quinn's shows one evening."
"You mean – you went to see a musical even though you couldn't hear?"
Rachel had known that the question would come up. They had discussed this upfront and while Santana had said that she would not have to answer, Rachel just thought the opposite. After all, this was what Sharon wanted to use against her, so this was her chance to set things straight.
"Yes. I didn't know where she was taking me at first, but when I realized it, I first thought I couldn't go through with it. But we went inside – through the backstage entrance - nevertheless. I figured that since I was already there, I might say hello to Quinn just as well. And then … she made me feel so welcome and didn't even stop acknowledging my presence during her performance that we stayed until the end."
"What did she do?" The reporter smiled when he caught on the mirth the women exuded thinking back to that particular evening.
Santana snorted and leaned forward, telling him about the flower, the kisses and the little sign language hints the singer had woven into her acting.
Patrick leaned back, impressed. That was really something. He would have never imagined a deaf person to visit a musical, but the other singer's gestures surprised him even more. He slightly cocked his head. These two women surprised him. The poise they possessed, the way they interacted with little glances, gestures and touches was fascinating to watch. As if there was an invisible bond that linked them together.
"So you had no idea where Ms. Lopez was taking you?"
"No. If she had told me, I would have refused to go from the beginning. In retrospect, I'm relieved that she didn't."
"Excuse the next question, but how come you also went to a concert then, not being able to hear? I'm just assuming this time no one dragged you there," he added, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
Rachel shrugged and smiled at the intended joke. "No, I went voluntarily. I knew that it was an important event for Quinn. She didn't expect me to come for obvious reasons, don't get the wrong impression. But I just wanted to show her my support, wanted to let her know how proud I was of her to be part of something so special."
"I can imagine that it must have been extremely difficult for you. How did you cope?"
Rachel spread her arms and let out a breath. How could she explain? It would be much too difficult to summarize it in one sentence and she was not prone to go into every detail.
"Well, how difficult do you think it can be to go to a concert not being able to hear? Also, I went alone and I didn't have an interpreter with me. It was basically the first time I ventured out into the public all by myself. Santana," she pointed at her friend, "was only able to join me after the break." Rachel took a deep breath. "I was scared. Scared that people wanted to talk to me and I wouldn't be able to understand."
She paused for a second. "I met an old colleague."
Patrick gave Rachel a moment before he asked: "Did you communicate with her and if so, how?"
"I tried to read her lips. But that is very difficult and I'm still not very good at it. But my colleague was nice enough to keep the sentences short and to speak clearly. This way we managed a short conversation at least." Rachel kneaded her hands in her lap thinking back to the evening. She was still surprised at herself that she had actually worked up the courage to go.
"The concert itself, well, it was hard. I still remember Quinn's voice and I wish I could have heard her sing. I saw the audience's reactions, I knew the program and I saw some of the sheet music of her songs before so at least I had a rough idea of what was going on." She glanced at the blonde. "I loved watching Quinn sing, the whole performance, but of course I was missing the greatest part." She swallowed quickly. She would to break out into tears in front of the reporter. "But unlike the musical, here there was no "story" and acting accompanying the music, so it was even more difficult for me to understand what was going on."
Quinn's moving hands caught Rachel's attention. The blonde tried to take up the conversation to give Rachel some time to recover.
"I didn't know she was coming. It took me completely by surprise. It was the last thing I would have expected and during one of the songs I just spotted her sitting in the audience. It almost made my heart stop." Quinn smiled at the memory of seeing Rachel's face in the sea of bodies before her, the one person she had longed to see most but knew she most likely wouldn't. And then she had been there!
Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand and placed a small kiss on the back of it.
"And then she did it again, you know, acknowledge my presence. She signed along while singing the last song of the concert. I'm still in awe about that, Quinn," Rachel said turning to face the blonde.
Catching the questioning look of Patrick, Santana explained.
"The song was in German, so she basically had to translate the words in her head to be able get the corresponding English words and then she had to translate those further into signs. So Quinn was struggling with three languages while trying to stay in tune. That was really something. I mean, I'm learning ASL and I'm still struggling a lot just talking and signing."
"Naaah, you're just doing fine, Santana," Rachel praised her. "And I'm really grateful that you are doing it."
Santana did not answer with a typical remark, being well aware that this would not be the time and place, so she just threw Rachel a look that said yeah, don't mention it.
A tap on her knee drew Rachel's attention back to Carmen. He has another question.
"Sure."
"Sharon Basont."
"Yeeeesssss," Rachel dragged out her answer. She did not want to talk about her. This interview was not supposed to be about revenge or to shed some dark light over her former manager so she dreaded the question.
"Why is she so intent to defame you in public? She was your former manager, correct?"
Santana threw Rachel a questioning look, asking if she should interfere.
"Again, I will answer this question but nothing about her will be printed. Do we agree on that?"
"Yes." He nodded. "It's just for my better understanding. You know I heard through a reliable source she was planning a report on you and your faki…"
"Yes, Mr. Remmond, we know," The Latina interrupted him. He didn't need to get into the details they were already familiar with, but Rachel took up the thread herself.
"I honestly don't know why she thinks I'm faking. It might seem strange seeing me "participate" in events that are basically for hearing people, like visiting a musical – I met her backstage by chance there– or going to the concert, where I also ran into her. But as I have explained, I had other motives to be at those places and … it will probably not the last time that you'll see me at such… locations." Rachel looked into the hazel eyes next to her and saw the surprise reflected in them at the statement.
The reporter nodded. He remembered that he was surprised when he met Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray's concert and learned that she was deaf. But learning about Rachel's motives and her story, gave him a complete different understanding. He would make sure that the rest of the people out there would get it as well.
Patrick was curious as to what she perceived when she went to the concert. Rachel explained to him about the vibrations she could feel, especially if the whole orchestra was playing and not just single instruments. She explained about feeling different pitches, depending how intense the vibrations where and where they resonated in her body. Same when she placed a hand on Quinn's chest and throat, asking her to sing.
The reporter was quiet for a moment and took some written notes along with his recording. He noted down facial expressions, body language, anything that couldn't be picked up by the microphone. He was genuinely surprised and intrigued by the story that Rachel Berry told him. There was nothing that hinted at her playing a game. He couldn't fathom how someone like Sharon Basont didn't see the truthfulness about the former singer's story. Every look, gesture, interaction with her friends showed it.
Then a thought struck him.
"Have you … ever tried to sing again?"
Rachel looked away when Carmen relayed the question to her.
Santana knew the answer to that. And Quinn as well, she had proof of Rachel's wonderful voice on a CD.
It was clear that this question struck too close to home.
"No comment," she whispered while Santana shouted out the same remark, delivering it with a fierce glance.
Realizing his mistake, the young man truly felt bad. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. It was thoughtless."
At least the man had scruples, Santana thought, throwing another threatening look at him.
Then he did something that none of them would have expected.
He bent forward and stopped the recording. Then he looked at Rachel, waiting for her to turn back to him. He noticed the pain in the brown eyes and almost expected the young woman to get up and leave. He asked himself why this stupid question had slipped out of his mouth, but everything he had heard and seen seemed so unconventional about Rachel Berry and her … friends? Girlfriend? …that it would not have surprised him if she had said yes.
He had prepared for this interview and he had not known in the beginning if there would be a moment where he could use his rudimentary knowledge of ASL, but if there ever was a moment, it was this.
Whenever he interviews someone, he tried to make the people he talked to as comfortable as possible. Only if someone trusted him, he would get the best results. So far, he had never betrayed that trust either, always making sure to get full approval from his customers. That was one of the reasons why he worked as a freelancer. He could play by his own rules and did not have to adhere to the unscrupulousness objectives of the big magazines. With him it was take it or leave it. He was still young and had his ideals, but he held the hope that he would never become one of those heartless paparazzi puppets that threw every bit of humanity over board to get what they wanted.
So when Rachel looked back at him, dreading the next question, he rubbed his right hand with the closed fist over his heart.
I'm sorry.
Rachel frowned at the unusual communication skills for a reporter, but she appreciated the gesture.
He enforced his exclamation.
I'm really sorry. If you want to finish, I can understand.
Basically, he signed you want finish I understand, but Rachel understood what he was trying to say.
After collecting herself for a moment, she was fine to continue. She smiled and shook her head.
They reverted back to the former conversation routine with Patrick asking the questions out loud while Carmen interpreted again.
When he asked about her future plans, she simply stated that yes, she had some, but that they were still confidential.
They finished up with some more questions about her Broadway shows after she confirmed she was ok to talk about it.
As a wrap Rachel asked the reporter some questions of her own to get a feeling of his personality. She still had the impression that he was sincere enough about the whole topic. She was positively surprised to hear that he learned the few signs as a preparation for this interview. This raised him up a notch in her judgment.
Patrick promised to get the article to them latest the next day for their review.
He then walked them down to the lobby and they said good bye.
He watched the four women leave and already had a feeling about the article he was going to write. It would be a good one, he knew. Despite trying to hold on to his professional detachment and objectivity, he liked Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray. Even the Latin girlfriend who acted as a manager – slash – bodyguard had something intriguing.
Who knew, if he played this right, he might have another chance at an interview with Ms. Fabray or even Rachel Berry, depending on what she was planning to do.
… … …
Back at Quinn's apartment the blonde dutifully laid down on the couch to rest and fell asleep, while Rachel and Santana prepared some sandwiches and a salad for lunch.
When they finished their preparation, Santana asked, signing:
What made you finally change your mind?
"In regards to what?" Rachel asked back, signing as well.
That you wanted to continue to deal with hearing people – with us.
Rachel sighed. She saw that Santana had been upset by her actions as well. She only realized now that it was not only Quinn that she had hurt. A lot of other people had suffered too, people she had not thought about, even though they had become close to her. It showed her that she and her friendship meant a lot to those people.
Guilt gnawed at her again.
Santana touched her shoulder. Hey, I didn't mean to hurt you or sound reproachful. It just was an honest question.
The brunette chewed her lip before she answered.
"I had a talk with Lauren and Carmen. They straightened me out," Rachel smiled. "Well, that sounds harsher than it actually was. But they both have experience with deaf people or with being deaf. I know it sounds strange, but for me that gave me a credibility which I could not have accepted from anyone else, even though you and Quinn and Kurt were also right with what you told me. Lauren and Carmen both gave me some understanding of my own actions and thoughts. They were both very honest and I did not always like what they said, but I'm grateful I listened. I needed this balance of opinions from both sides. You know what I mean?" Rachel frowned and looked at Santana.
Santana nodded. Yes, I get it. She grabbed a paper and continued writing.
You know Rachel, I always knew you had drive, but in high school I always thought it only pushed you forward in regards to singing and performing. I have learned now that there is much more that keeps you going. You really have come a long way and I'm really proud of you and to be your friend.
Rachel's eyes went wide with the Latina's concession. "I…", she didn't know what to say and just stepped closer and hugged Santana. Her friend did not seem to stop to surprise her. The way she had grown and come a long way, also Santana had grown and changed.
Where a rough and gruff answer would have been a response in former days, today honesty, care and a raw tenderness came through. She still only showed this to close friends, but the way fought for Rachel's friendship, no matter what happened, was something the petit woman would have never expected.
She realized how lucky she was to have such wonderful, generous, gentle, tenacious and caring friends in her life.
… … …
Later that afternoon Santana already received the first draft of the interview. She called the other two women and they gather around her laptop she had placed on the dining table.
All three women were positively surprised at the article Patrick Remmond had created. It was sensitive, but not overly dramatic. He stuck to the facts and the words they used. He did not overdramatize and left out some of the very sensitive topics about their relationship. He touched upon some of the struggles they mentioned in terms of Rachel's disability, but really kept a close guard on how he phrased it to bring across the sincerity and truth about the whole situation. As this was the whole point of the interview in order to get Sharon off her back, Rachel was fine with the way he dealt with the whole issue.
It came across clearly how difficult the situation was for Rachel since her accident, but the whole tonality still had a positive and encouraging ring to it. He had done an excellent job with his portrait of Rachel, her achievements and modest further aspirations. She had not mentioned her acting wishes or her school project, but voiced that she hoped to learn to further cope with her disability and to finally find a new purpose.
All in all everything was portrayed realistically and positively encouraging.
Even Santana was impressed and nodded her approval. She sent their ok right away per e-mail and Patrick promised to send them the link to the website as soon as the article was approved and up. Should any further changes be necessary from the publisher's point of view, he would get back to them, he promised. If not, he would just send them connection to the site.
Quinn turned towards her girlfriend and hugged her.
Well done, Rachel. I'm proud of you. I know it was not easy to do, especially talking about such personal things with a stranger. But I think this turned out well.
"Well, Patrick wrote the whole thing, so the credit belongs to him." Rachel answered modestly.
Quinn shook her head. No, he just used his skill to give your words a perfect frame, but everything else came from you. How do you feel about it?
Rachel let out a long breath and looked back at the screen. She nodded slowly.
"It feels good. I feel relieved. I feel like I can now venture out and don't have to hide anymore, you know? It's," she thought for a moment, trying to find the right words for her feelings, "as if a great burden has been taken away. As if I don't have to be perfect for the outside world anymore. I know it sounds strange, but now I feel like I don't have to pretend anymore. I don't have to pretend I'm normal, I don't have to pretend everything is or was all easy, I don't have to live up to what I think other people's expectations are for me." She paused for a moment.
"Yes, it feels like I have finally found back to myself with acknowledging my situation also to the outside world." A slow smile spread across her lips. "It feels like I can close one chapter and begin a new one."
Quinn smiled with her. Can we be in that new chapter together?
Rachel's smile broadened while her hands moved. Yes, that's the only way I would want to write it!
And she placed a kiss on the blonde's lips.
Have you listened to Battlefield from Lea Michele? Somehow I can't stop thinking that it could nicely describe her (former?) friendship with Dianna. Then again it might just be my little imagination running wild, haha. (For all I know they might still be friends and just not show it in public for whatever reason. And yes, I know the song has not been written by her, but by Sia.)
Anyway, I like the song and Lea's voice. A lot.
I might need a little more time to write up the next chapters, but I'll try to bring you the next update as soon as possible.
I hope you'll all have a good start into the new year!
Let's see what 2014 will bring! I still hope that it will bring a turn for the better for Glee the show. And as you know, hope lasts eternally… Until then I think we still have some great Glee fanfiction stories out there to enjoy, like:
Far Away from Diannasbacon,
Born This Way from rizzlscalzonafic
Being Better from Oracleismyname
Saving Me & When nightmares Become Reality from TheIrishGilmore,
How People Started Listeing from Devin Jaste
Soundproof from tenteitudonadadeu
The Trick is on you from piper2210
And so many more, just to name a few of my favorites….