Chapter eight
This is a strange conversation. It feels more like an interrogation, actually. It's obvious that Christian is trying hard to sound casual and empathic but the topic is clearly making him tense. And that last question …
Ana suppresses a nervous laugh, it comes out a snort. She's quite tipsy from the tequila, and this whole situation is so unreal. She's sitting on a swing next to Christian Grey, the person whom her entire being revolved around for a couple of years, a long time ago. She can acknowledge the fact that he is trying to be-friend her, or at least she thinks that what he is doing. But it's all very unlike the no-nonsense, I-take-what-I-want Grey that she used to know.
"Are you laughing at me?" Christian's voice is hurt, and he sounds a bit angry.
"No, no," Ana says quickly. "You're making me a bit nervous, that's all." She shudders, which has an immediate effect on Christian's mood. "You're cold. Let's get you inside." Hello, bossy-Christian. Another snort escapes her. Shit. But he just looks down on her, his look concerned. "Ana, have you arranged for a ride home? If not, I would really like to take you."
"Christian …" She looks away.
"No, Ana, I really mean just take you home." Oh. Ana flushes. She's behaving like she's expecting him to seduce her any second, when all he is actually done is trying to get know her again. And he has a girlfriend. A gorgeous girlfriend. Although he did call whatever he and miss sex-on-legs have an "arrangement" … And then, just a few minutes ago the question about the love of her life, in that incredibly awkward manner. Fuck, she doesn't what he wants. And instead of accepting a simple offer of a ride home, she saying nothing and letting all these ridiculous thoughts race through her mind. Get a grip.
"Yes, Christian, I would appreciate a ride home. Thank you." He gives her a big grin, and for a fraction of a moment Ana let's herself remember that feeling of safety and complete trust that she left behind ten years ago. But she shakes it off quickly.
"But we are not leaving yet, Mr. Grey. We have a birthday party to attend." They walk back to the house and Christian takes Ana's arm and hooks it around his, in a very just-being-friendly manner. She's grateful he doesn't take her hand, suddenly very aware that despite the fact they haven't been lovers for a decade, not seen each other even, it would feel like the most natural thing to let her hand disappear in his.
Ana is confused and bothered. But she decides quickly that it must be due to some kind of deeply embedded Christian Grey muscle memory. Her body needs to re-learn around him, that simple.
When they reach the patio, Kate emerges from the house, looking at first pretend-angry and then suddenly concerned. "Are you ok?" she asks Ana, ignoring Christian who sighs loudly.
Ana laughs. Over-protective as always.
"Yes Kate, perfectly alright. Christian and I have been catching up a bit." "Oh, good!" Kate chirps and, concern gone, grabs Ana's free arm and starts pulling her towards the house. "You've missed several rounds, you're way behind." It's evident that Kate on the other hand has been present for all of the rounds of tequila shots.
"How about I catch up in a moment, I actually really want to dance with my birth day girl right now." Kate, easily manipulated in her current state, shrieks and takes of towards the IPod to change music.
Ana glances up at Christian, who's looking pleased that she's not going straight for the shots. This naturally makes her feel like she should go straight for the shots. Then she remembers that she's not twenty-two anymore, and that she's had nothing to prove to Christian Grey in a long time.
"Excuse me, see you in a bit," Ana smiles apologetically at Christian, turns and follows Kate inside the house.
The party is still going strong, and so is Kate, when Ana starts feeling the familiar, gnawing head ache which never fails to remind her that she's had more than three glasses of wine. Finding an empty chair in a corner, she sits down to rest for a bit. She hasn't seen Christian for a good while but her ass hardly has a chance to touch the chair before he materializes next to her.
"You look like you might be ready to go home."
Again, a childish urge to defy him flares up. Jesus, what's wrong with me? She's dead tired and would like nothing better than to go home, and she doesn't even have to call a cab, her ride is standing right next to her. Some gratitude might be in order.
"More than ready," Ana gives him a tired smile. "What about you? Would you like to stay? I can always call a cab."
Christian theatrically looks over both shoulders. "I've been playing hide and seek with two of Kate's colleagues for the past two hours, and I'm running out of places to hide. They're surprisingly cunning." Ana can't help but giggle, and Christians look sizes her up. "You look like you could make for quite a good cover when we try for the front door." She laughs; he's making her feel better. "Wouldn't be the first time I save your ass".
Christian looks at her intently, all serious now. "No, it wouldn't".
As his gray gaze lingers on hers, something stirs deep inside Anastasia. An odd thought pops into her head; that she would have been lonely at this party if Christian hadn't been here. She would have as much fun and people to talk to all the time, but still. Since Thomas died there's nobody who is … hers.
Christian isn't hers. She has no claim on him whatsoever. They hardly know each other after ten years and what's more, she left him. So how come she's so much more relaxed just because he's here? If anything, it should be the other way around. Stop over-thinking! Definitely time to go home.
Ana and Christian say good bye to everyone in the living room and go to find Kate and Elliot. On their way to take a look in the kitchen, the Swedish au pair hurries past them very much embarrassed again. As they enter they see why. Kate is sitting on the kitchen table, legs wrapped around a standing Elliot, and the two of them are making out like there's no tomorrow. Ana is on her way to follow the girl's example and just let them get on with it, but Christian lets out an exaggerated cough, and Elliot reluctantly lets go of his wife and turns to them with a ridiculous smile on his face.
Christian looks like he thinks they're completely out of control. "Thank you for your kind attention," he says mockingly. Then to Kate, warmer: "Happy birthday, sister, this was a pleasure. But we're leaving now".
Kate and Elliot look disbelieving, shocked. Elliot manages to produce a faint "Oh …?"
Ana, a deep crimson by now, hurries to clarify. "Christian is giving me a ride home, since we we're leaving at the same time anyway."
"Oh", the couple says uniformly, and they're both visibly relieved.
When they've said their goodbyes and are out the door, Ana turns to look at Christian. "I think you said that on purpose, Mr. Grey."
"I might have, Miss Steele." Christian smiles wickedly.
Miss Steele. Ana doesn't bother to correct him. She knows that she shouldn't let herself like it, but she does, just this once. It's so nice to feel like she belongs somewhere for a brief moment, even if she knows it's just pretend, and wrong.
"Kate and Elliot are my favourite couple, "Ana says quietly, when they reach Christian's car. "It's amazing that they're still completely crazy for each other."
Christian gives her look she can't interpret, but then smiles a quick smile and opens her car door.
They ride to Ana's place mostly in a comfortable silence. Ana's really tired by now and leans her head on the car window. In the corner of her eye she can see Christian throwing quick glances at her now and again. Suddenly she's not only post-party tired, but mentally exhausted. The strange conversation she had with Christian hours ago is nagging at the back of her mind, and just the fact that she's been spending a whole evening at the same place as him is overwhelming. It's like Christian's proximity has drained her of all energy.
They reach her house, and Christian asks where Sara is tonight. Ana tells him she's with Ray and for a brief moment she's terrified that he's going to want to come in. But Christian just asks her to say hi to Ray and Sara when she sees them tomorrow. He gets out of the car and hurries over to open her car door, steadying her wobbly-ish legs by giving her a hand.
In front of her porch, he leans in and gives her a breathy peck on the cheek. Where his lips barely touch her skin they leave a pleasantly burning sensation and she has to stop herself from reaching up and touching his soft messy hair. Ana's chest is already tightening from how lonely she will feel when he leaves and so she has to get into the house quickly, before she does something she will regret.
"Good night, Christian."
"Good night, Anastasia. In you go." He waits by the porch until she's unlocked her door and is safely inside. With a smile and a wave he turns and starts walking to his car.
Ana locks the door behind her, takes of her coat and shoes and goes straight to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Leaning against the kitchen counter she drinks the cool water in big gulps, some trickling down her neck.
He called you Anastasia. No one, ever, says Anastasia but Christian Grey. And when he does every fibre in her body responds.