Disclaimer: You know… don't own Glee… though the story idea is mine..
Many thanks for your reviews and personal messages! Also again to all the followers and people who favorite this story.
Chapter 64
Quinn and Rachel spent almost every day and most of the nights together while the blonde was still at home recuperating.
After four days of wearing the earplugs, Rachel urged the blonde to end her experiment. Except for little breaks during the night, Quinn had worn them very bravely without complaint. They were sitting at the kitchen counter at Rachel's apartment and just had some coffee. Rachel's reasoning that the singer had to practice her voice if she wanted to start working again soon, finally made Quinn give in.
Rachel slightly tilted her head and watched her girlfriend closely when the blonde pulled the ear plugs out.
Quinn closed her eyes and savored the moment.
It was a strange feeling at first and it took a moment to tune back into the hearing world and to actually recognize what she was hearing.
First thing she noticed was Rachel's breathing. Then she heard the faint traffic through the closed windows. Next came a clonk from the neighbors above them who had apparently dropped something heavy on the floor.
Finally Quinn opened her eyes and smiled at Rachel.
"Say something," Quinn said quietly while signing along. It was weird hearing her own voice again and not just in her head as she had before with the ear plugs.
This was what she was looking forward to the most. Hearing Rachel's voice again.
Rachel bent forward a bit and then whispered with a smile: "I love you." And moving a little more she touched Quinn's lips with her own.
The blond heard herself moan when she felt Rachel's lips on hers combined with the sound of her voice that graced her ears after what felt way more than just four days.
When they parted, Quinn moved her hands.
I have missed your voice. Just like last time when you had that horrible cold and were not allowed to speak.
She pointed at Rachel with her palm facing forward, then moved her hand with her index finger and middle finger forming a V forward, away from her own throat Your voice, she closed her eyes, savoring the sound that still echoed in her mind, is still the best sound ever.
Rachel chuckled. "Glad you still think that way," she answered, trying to keep the volume down.
Then she watched Quinn throwing a confused look around the kitchen.
Rachel cocked her head. "What's wrong?"
Something is ticking.
Rachel looked around as well. She didn't have a clock in the room so she had no idea where the noise could be coming from. Then she spotted her watch on top of the fridge. She had totally forgotten that it was lying there as she hardly ever wore it.
"The only thing that could be ticking is either a time bomb, but I guess that is out of the question, or my watch. But I guess it's too far away to hear it, or isn't it?" Rachel pointed at it frowning.
Quinn turned, hopped off the chair and stepped closer to the fridge. Then she nodded.
Yes, that's it.
Rachel was impressed. "You could hear that from this side of the counter?"
Quinn nodded. Sometimes things enhance noises, maybe the fridge bounces off the ticking sound a little. Funny.
She turned back to Rachel who had a pensive look on her face.
The brunette contemplated Quinn's thoughts. She noticed that she seemed to lose the ability to judge the relation of sounds and distances. It was hard to remember how loud a licking watch really was.
It scared her. Would she lose more knowledge about sounds, especially little sounds that usually only played in the background? She needed to pay more attention to those little things, she decided.
"Tell me everything you notice, now that you can hear again. I…. I want to know. Really."
Quinn heard the underlying urgency in Rachel's voice and realized that the brunette needed this information. Even though she might be able to remember music and notes and voices and other sounds, didn't meant that she would not start to forget sounds over time that did not play such an important role in her life, like the ticking of a watch. Or the dripping of a faucet, which was the next sound that alerted Quinn.
Just four days without sound and a simple apartment could become a source of acoustic wonders.
Her footsteps on the wooden floor, the creaking of the chair, the noises from the apartment above them, the honking of a passing car – everything almost sounded like music. She moved her hands through the air to translate the sounds into signs for Rachel. Then, after wandering around the room for a moment, Quinn stood in the middle of the living room, closing her eyes again.
She had a curious look on her face and Rachel found it fascinating to watch her girlfriend tune back into the world of sounds. Even though she felt a pang in her heart for not being able to enjoy the same privilege, she was happy that Quinn savored the moment so much, that she appreciated her hearing even more than before.
Rachel felt herself smile as she watched the blonde turn slowly around her own axis, still with her eyes closed, her arms a little outstretched as if to capture the sounds with her hands. Rachel was sure that it was an unconscious gesture, but she didn't find it less endearing.
Once she opened her eyes again, she found Rachel's eyes on her.
"Finding your way back into the world of sound?" Rachel asked gently.
Quinn exhaled. Yes. It's… hard to describe. She watched her girlfriend, still a little unsure how far her descriptions should go.
"Try," she encouraged her.
Everything seems enhanced, seems a bit more intense. It feels like the sounds give more structure, more live to … everything. She smiled apologetically as soon as she signed the last sentence. I mean, it's not that I didn't feel alive, I meant that…
"That you notice life where you don't necessarily see it." Rachel finished for her when Quinn was again searching for the right words. "Like knowing what is going on outside by hearing the sounds of the cars etc., without even looking."
Yes, that's it.
Rachel nodded. "You want to explore that life outside these four walls?"
Quinn hesitated. Maybe. You feel like going out for a walk?
"Quinn, this is your call. You are adjusting, so we will take it at your pace, ok?"
Quinn loved Rachel so much in that moment. She gave her all the time she needed, without pressuring her or making this experience seem unimportant in any way for her, never referring to herself and how she could not participate in the same exercise. The only thing Rachel had requested was that Quinn told her about her experience, which was fair enough.
She walked towards the brunette and hugged her, before agreeing.
Ok. I would like to go outside for a while.
"Sure, come on." Rachel hopped off the bar stool and grabbed Quinn by the hand, pulling her towards the door. There she turned, facing her girlfriend.
She was curious and excited for Quinn. It was interesting to watch her take in her surroundings with a new sense of appreciation and the blonde did not falter one minute to answer all of Rachel's questions. Rachel wanted to know how it felt, she wanted to know how it was, what Quinn experienced, how the sounds were for her, if there was something different in comparison to before.
"Keep telling me what you feel and hear, please." She asked almost shyly.
Quinn wondered at the change of tone, but then realized that it probably still was not easy for Rachel to request that, especially after her try to ignore the hearing part of the world. She was perhaps afraid that it might seem strange in Quinn's eyes that she request that.
The blonde cupped the petite woman's cheek and kissed her gently. Then she tucked a strand of dark hair behind Rachel's ear.
I will. Don't ever be afraid of asking for it, ok?
Rachel looked eyes with Quinn and tried to read her emotions. Then she nodded after a moment.
"Ok. I will."
Quinn smiled and helped her girlfriend into her coat.
Once they entered the busy street in front of Rachel's building, everything seemed too loud and the blonde wished she had a button where she could turn the volume of her surroundings down. A car honking next to her made her jump and she had to fight the urge to place her hands over her ears. An ambulance with blaring sirens almost made her run back into the relative quiet of the apartment building.
Jesus, the world was noisy.
Even though it had only been four days, Quinn found that in the first moments outside, it took quite some concentration to coordinate the impressions of both her main senses, seeing and hearing, again. Where she had only relayed on her eyes for days, she now had the accompanying sounds to go with. And it gave her world so much more depth and dimension again. She tried to explain it to Rachel.
"I know what you mean," the brunette answered. "It's as if you suddenly perceive the world in 3D again."
Yes. That's it.
They continued to wander around the neighborhood for a little while. Quinn got more and more used to the sounds and volume again. As happy as she felt to have her complete senses again, as sad she was for Rachel.
Is it hard for you to watch me appreciate sounds again?
Rachel was at first surprised at the question, then thought for a moment about it.
"Well, it depends on how I look at it. For the most part, no. It's not hard. It's wonderful and interesting and since we are talking about it so openly with you describing everything that you are going through, I can appreciated it. There will always be a part of me that wishes I could do the same, but I try not to dwell on it too much. That already gave me more heartache than anything else."
Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel's cheek and then turned fully around to stand in front of her, enveloping her in a warm embrace. The brunette leaned into the touch.
How were the four days for you with me not being able to hear?
"I had to get used to the fact that I just couldn't talk to you or that I couldn't ask you some simple things in regards to sounds or conversations. Somehow, and I know it might sound strange after," she waved her hand, "the past weeks…, but I felt deprived of something with you being deaf. In a way it was also a good exercise for me to find that out."
But what if I had just become deaf?
"Then we would have adapted, I'm sure, but this wasn't the case here. I knew it was only temporary, but it was really interesting to learn how you experienced everything."
Quinn waited for a moment, then asked: Do I sense a 'but'?
Rachel paused a moment, before she said with eyes full of emotion:
"Well, I like you as a hearing person."
Quinn hugged Rachel again and kissed her on the head. "Thank you," she mouthed while she still held her girlfriend in her arms.
They continued down the street until Rachel looked at her mobile and gasped.
"Oh, I almost forgot. I have a lesson scheduled with Carmen in ten minutes. Gosh, Quinn, I'm sorry! I was so absorbed in your experience that it totally slipped my mind." Not wanting to leave her girlfriend stranded in the middle of the street, she asked: "Want to join us?"
Rachel felt bad to cut their afternoon short, especially under the current circumstances. She would have liked to talk more with Quinn, but it was too short notice to cancel her lesson.
It's ok Rachel, don't worry. How about I prepare some dinner for later and you come over to my apartment when you're finished? I can pack some of your clothes when I get my things from your place, so you don't have to go back. Santana is out late tonight, so we still have time to talk and … do stuff," she added with a tempting smile.
"Uh, do stuff does sound nice," Rachel answered grinning. "Ok, let's do that." She stood on her toes and quickly kissed the blonde. "Thank you for understanding."
Quinn smiled. Good, see you later then, gorgeous!
"Enjoy the hearing!"
Quinn chuckled. I will.
They had reached the next corner and Rachel kissed Quinn goodbye, watching her turn in the opposite direction while she was heading toward the community center.
… … …
When Rachel came over to Quinn's apartment later that day, the blonde expected her in a lovely dark blue dress that showed a lot of cleavage.
The kisses between the two women had intensified over the past days and their reservation in touching each other had diminished. The sparks where flying every time they touched and seeing her girlfriend in such a beautiful and sexy gown set Rachel's nerves fluttering.
Quinn had turned off the lights and had placed what felt like a million candles on the floor and shelves to make it bright enough for Rachel to read her signs. The warm light gave the blonde's skin a soft glow and Rachel felt how her breathing accelerated when she took in the sight in front of her.
"Wow!" Rachel raked her eyes appreciating across her girlfriend's body. "What's the occasion?"
Quinn stepped closer and pointed at the other woman. You, was all she answered.
"Oh my, had I known…" But Rachel couldn't say anymore as her lips were covered by a silencing index finger.
Quinn slowly led Rachel down the hall, walking backwards and pulling Rachel along with her. Their eyes never broke contact and both women felt their arousal intensify with every passing second. Rachel wanted to rip that dress right off Quinn's slender body, but she held back, letting Quinn seduced her.
Rachel had not been sure when would be the right moment to take that last step. She had been unsure first because of Quinn's injuries and second because she wanted to give Quinn the time to decide when it was ok for her to give Rachel that ultimate bit of trust again.
Quinn pulled Rachel closer and nipped at her lips, then laid a trail of kisses down her throat and back up to her earlobe. She flicked a quick tongue against the soft skin and felt Rachel shudder under her embrace. The smaller woman groaned and leaned into the blonde's arms.
"No…. teasing….please…" she managed in between heavy breathes. God, five seconds in those arms with those kisses and she already was a lost cause.
Quinn chuckled. She herself felt like she could not wait to lay her hands on Rachel's naked body, but the foreplay was just as enjoyable. Slowly she let her hands glide under the brunette's turtleneck and pulled it over her head, followed by the shirt she wore underneath.
She walked three steps backwards and pulled Rachel with her again. Quinn was not shy to rid Rachel off her pants where they stood. Then she lazily trailed the back of her fingers across the brunette's now naked shoulders and down over the rim of the dark blue satin bra.
She smiled when she saw the shudder race through Rachel's body her touch had caused.
"Your dress…," was all the petite woman could utter. Quinn stepped closer and placed Rachel's hand at the back of her neck where the zipper was. Rachel wrapped her arms round her and slowly moved the little device down the blonde's back.
Even though it was harder and harder to not lose control, Rachel played by Quinn's rules. With agonizing slowness she peeled the beautiful dress off her shoulders and let if fall on the floor where it pooled around the blonde's feet in a sea of dark blue silk.
Except for the high heels she still wore, Quinn was gloriously naked underneath. Not wanting to be at a disadvantage, Quinn snagged the clasps of her girlfriend's bra open and then freed her of her panties as well.
Slowly she raked her hands through Rachel's dark locks and then bent down to kiss her chest and breasts. Rachel threw her head back and groaned with pleasure. Then she placed a hand against Quinn's stomach and gently pushed her towards the bedroom.
When they reached the door, Quinn stopped.
I want you to know what I feel and think while I make love to you, while I touch you, while I kiss you.
"I know." Rachel answered. "I do, Quinn."
The blonde shook her head, then reached behind her and opened the door. The bedroom was illuminated like the rest of the apartment, but what Rachel then saw, made her stop in her tracks.
The whole room was decorated with pages of beautiful handcrafted paper on which Quinn had written different sentences in large, flourishing letters.
Rachel felt Quinn step behind her, wrapping her arms around her. When the singer trailed her fingers across Rachel's breastbone, she pointed at a page above the head of the bed.
Your breasts are so beautiful and the way they softly rise makes me want to never stop kissing them, was written on it.
Then Quinn cupped Rachel's breasts gently, following the round mounds with her fingers, bending down to leave millions of tiny kisses on the soft skin. In between she flicked her tongue at the hardened nipple, until she finally kissed her way along Rachel's shoulder and arm, letting the fingers of her left hand glide across her back, while her right hand held out Rachel's arm. She shortly pointed at another sheet that hung above the nightstand.
Your skin is so smooth and soft and I never want to feel anything else beneath my fingers.
Rachel glanced around the room. She couldn't count, her mind was beyond rational function, but there must have been at least a hundred of those sheets be pinned up on the walls.
Again and again Quinn pointed at the one or the other sentence while she continued her caresses with her hands. Rachel had some trouble reading all those written words, as her vision was blurred by tears.
Quinn picked her up at one point and gently placed her on the bed. When Rachel looked up, she found more pages stuck up against the ceiling.
"Oh my god," she whispered. "When have you done this?" She focused back on the hazel eyes that loomed in front of her and that were filled with so much love.
Quinn sat up and signed. I wrote them during the past days. Whenever I thought about you, I wanted to write down what I love about you. And I wanted you to know, to "hear" while we make love. You just have to look at one of the sheets and you'll know what I want to tell you while I keep my hands busy satisfying you.
"This is so beautiful." Rachel still hadn't found her voice and only managed a quiet murmur. "You are so beautiful."
"I love you!" Was all Quinn answered and sealed that statement with a kiss.
Rachel let her hands glide across Quinn's naked body and while she enjoyed their caresses, she found again and again other words that swam into her vision and replayed with Quinn's voice in her mind. She understood what Quinn wanted. She understood that Quinn wanted to hear her whisper into her ear that she loved her that she wanted to make her feel beautiful, perfect, loved and wanted.
The flickering lights of the candles threw different shadows and lights across the pages. The shifting of the light made the sentences come alive. It looked like they danced across their pages, ready to make themselves visible whenever Rachel's eyes roamed the walls.
The most beautiful sentences Rachel found stood written in Quinn's eyes. There was love printed all over the hazel orbs. She felt it in her caresses and she was incredibly grateful to be able to experience it.
Quinn watched Rachel's eyes wander between her own and the walls around her. She seemed to soak up everything that was written there. The blonde massaged the small breasts and sucked gently at of the erect nipples. Rachel moaned and arched her back, which thrust her breast even further into Quinn's face. The blonde chuckled and kept focusing on pleasuring Rachel even more.
"I… want… to feel…you." The brunette gasped between breaths.
Quinn moved up and sealed those lips with a passionate kiss. Their tongues met and started a dance. Back and forth they went, one chasing the other and back. They twirled around each other, the met and then drifted shortly apart, only to reunite with full force.
Both of then needed a short break to get some air. Then Rachel sat up and pushed Quinn into a lying position
"My turn," she whispered, while she kissed the blonde's breasts and stomach.
She massaged Quinn's hips with her hands and then knelt between her knees. Quinn sat up.
I want to see you while we make love, she signed.
Rachel sat up again and pressed her lips against Quinn's. They kissed passionately, while their hands roamed each other's bodies.
Every now and then Rachel glanced up and found another phrase, another love confession in her field of vision. It felt so good to see those words while feeling Quinn's hands on her skin, her tongue softly playing around her nipples and feeling her breath on her body.
Quinn somehow never ceased to surprise her.
Their passion and re-found love for each other carried their bodies into the night, long after Santana had come home and had blown out the candles in the hallway. She knew about Quinn's romantic plans and had voluntarily opted to stay out long for the evening.
She quickly and quietly had moved through the apartment, getting ready for bed, trying to not listen to the moans and sighs that wafted through the other closed bedroom door.
With a smile she closed her own bedroom door behind herself and fell onto the mattress. She was happy, purely happy that Quinn and Rachel had worked out their difference. She was happy that her "family" was back together again. Still, it couldn't quite cover the longing of her own heart to find her soul mate, someone she could love unconditionally. Jenna was a very nice and fun girl, but they still danced around each other and Santana still could not read her as she could read other people. It bugged her. But when being honest to herself, she knew that her heart was not into it completely. She was attracted to Jenna, yes, but there wasn't this absolute longing, this feeling that you couldn't live without the other person, that this was your other half to complete you.
Santana was relieved that it wasn't Brittany either, when she thought of the blonde. Apparently she had learned to accept their separation. She still missed her and loved her, but it wasn't that complete longing either anymore, when thinking about her. Did that mean she was finally ready to move on?
The Latina turned in her bed and stuffed her pillow under her head. She glanced around her darkened room, where the furniture was outlined in dark gray colors by the little light that filtered through the blinds from outside. She closed her eyes.
She would find love and love would find her when it was time, she was sure of it.
… … …
The next morning after waking up in each other's arms and cuddling for a while, the two women finally appeared in the kitchen. Santana slurped her second coffee and greeted the two bedheads with a smirk. There was no need for words, what she wanted to know was written all over her friend's faces.
With a smug grin she lifted her cup and raised an eyebrow and was rewarded with two bobbing heads and a "yes please," from Quinn. Rachel's hearty yawn swallowed most of her answer.
Santana handed two coffee mugs to them and sat back down at the counter, skipping through a magazine that lay in front of her. She tried hard to not comment on the glow that surrounded the other two women.
"What's up, cat got your tongue?" Quinn asked between two sips, surprised at the lack of witty and snarky remarks from her usually very perceptive roommate.
"Words fail me. You two look so satisfied and in love that it almost makes me puke." She retorted, but the grin she had plastered on her face betrayed her harsh words.
Rachel chuckled after seeing Quinn's interpretation.
"Aw, Santana," she walked up to her friend and enveloped her in an exaggerated, playful hug, knowing fully well that the Latina was not a big hugger. The more fun she had teasing her with it.
"Admit it makes you happy that our love is restored." And she quickly placed a kiss on Santana's cheek, before jumping out of reach, laughing.
"Gag, go away!" Santana wiped her hands over her head and body to brush off any Rachel residue that might have rubbed off on her during the brunette's smooching attack.
"Uh. Vicious, Berry. Absolutely disgusting. Now I need to shower again." She lifted her index finger in warning. "I'll get you for that, dwarf!"
Quinn watched the exchange amused, content to interpret, knowing that Santana did indeed love both of them and just hid her true emotions behind her gruff behavior.
"You can be glad that I have matured so much and we're not in school anymore, otherwise I would have ended your life right then and there."
Rachel was absolutely unimpressed by the other woman's behavior. Yes, some years ago she would have never dared to even step close to her, much less kiss her on the cheek. But having gotten to know Santana and her soft core, having learned how much the Latina really cared about her and how much effort she put into this friendship, gave Rachel the confidence that a little teasing was in order.
"Santana, cut the crap. You don't have to pretend with us, y'know. " Rachel smiled. "Just admit it and I'll leave you alone."
The Latina made a dismissive sound, but then confessed: "Yeah, fine. If that's what it takes you get you off my chest – literally - I'll admit it. Happy to have you two back together. There. I said it. It's not like I didn't mention it before, though." To end the argument she changed the topic, trying to ignore the grins and looks Quinn and Rachel exchanged.
"I still have a couple of minutes before I can torture my first client. Let's have breakfast."
"Good idea," Quinn said.
"Oh, you're still with us. Thought you had turned to stone while your girlfriend attacked me. You just stood there with that silly grin plastered on your face. Don't think I didn't see that!" Santana huffed.
"I didn't want to interrupt you two. It was too much fun to watch!"
Santana shook her head, mumbling: "That's what they call friends." And then started laughing with her friends.
Together they quickly placed the food, plates and bowls on the table and sat down.
Rachel checked her e-mails on her phone while she was eating her cereals.
"Oh!" She was happy to find a message from Tom. They had exchanged a couple of e-mails over the past weeks since they had met at the restaurant.
In one of his previous e-mails the former colleague had told Rachel about how he had declined yet another offer for a musical role, because he still wanted to do his own thing. Rachel was curious as to what he was planning, but he wanted to tell her in person when it was time.
She had told him in her last message about the planned interview.
What he wrote in the most recent e-mail, surprised her though.
Hey Rachel,
How are you? Did you have a good start into the New Year?
I read your interview at and I have to say, I'm impressed. It was very courageous of you to go through with it. This article was really well written and knowing a bit about your story, I admit it was sensibly described without leaving to many open questions. I hope you are happy with the results. Have you seen some of the comments?
Rachel hadn't bothered reading anything beyond the article when Patrick had sent the live link. Maybe she would have a look at them later. She continued reading.
Anyway, there is another reason why I'm also writing today. Do you remember that I asked you if I could have your opinion on something? The idea I wanted to share with you? Well, it's taking on form and I'd like to hear your thoughts about something I'm planning to do.
It's something small and independent, but I think it could turn into a great project.
Do you have some free time over the next days so we could meet?
I promise to bring Nellie, I know you wanted to see her again (yes, see that as a bribe :-)).
Tom
Rachel leaned back. That sounded really interesting and she was happy that Tom was still interested in what she had to say. She was curious as to what he had planned.
What's making you smile like a Cheshire cat? Quinn asked from behind her own muesli bowl.
"Oh, Tom wants to meet with me. He'd like my opinion on an idea he has."
That sounds great! You're becoming quite the consultant these days, Quinn half joked. What are your hourly fees?
"Haha, very funny. I'm doing that as a favor, mind you. Besides, I'm glad that … you know… despite everything he still thinks my opinion could be of value."
Quinn leaned forward and cupped Rachel's face in her hands, tilting her head upwards a little.
Then she withdrew her hands and signed: Let's agree on another ground rule, ok?
Rachel frowned. "What?"
Stop thinking that it's a miracle people respect your professional opinion. You told me to stop apologizing and trying to skip around every mention of "hearing". So you stop acting like it's a fucking miracle that people value what you have to say. Deal?
Quinn was quite adamant.
"Fine". Rachel felt a squeeze on her shoulder when Santana walked past her towards the kitchen. "What?"
"Nothing. Quinn is right, if I understood correctly. Chin up, Berry! I have to leave you guys now. Work's calling." Santana said and signed at the same time. She deposited her dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed her coat and bag.
"Have fun and don't be too mean!" Rachel shouted after her.
Never, Santana signed smirking.
"So glad I'm not one of her clients," Rachel mumbled while taking another mouthful of her now very soggy cereals. "Ugh." She put the spoon back into the bowl. "Guess I'm finished."
… … …
Two days later, Rachel was about to leave her apartment for her meeting with Tom just when the light above the door flashed. Tom and she had agreed on meeting at a little restaurant for lunch.
She stopped and frowned, wondering who might want something from her. Tom didn't have her address, so it couldn't be him. Besides, why would he have come here if they were meeting somewhere else. Quinn was back at her first day of practice.
Shrugging she activated the little camera and gasped when she recognized who stood in front of the door.
Rachel took a step back and inhaled deeply a few times. The light flashed again. When she was sure she had a grip on her emotions, Rachel reached out and opened the door.
"Sharon." It was rather a statement than a question and it did not come across as an invitation either. The petite woman stood her ground in the door and refused to budge, even though she wanted to step back and slam the door in the other woman's face.
Rachel held the other woman's gaze. Sharon had come alone. The brunette was not sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Whatever, she did not plan on wasting much time with her former manager. Probably she had read the interview; Rachel could not find another reason why she would visit her. Then again, why did she visit her at all? Why did she not just tell her by E-mail what she had to say and be done with it?
That reminded her that she wanted to block her e-mails. She was done with receiving any more insults from that woman, because that was what largely seemed to come out of her mouth, lately.
"Rachel…"
The petite woman looked to the side for a moment and sighed. Would she ever learn?
Then she studied the women opposite her again and felt a sense of calm wash over her. This woman could not harm her anymore. Rachel knew that by having stayed true to herself, she had the upper hand. She had told the truth and everybody who was interested in it, knew it by now.
Rachel almost felt sorry for Sharon Basont. Almost. This notion made her smile. Despite all that had happened, Rachel was the one that still had more strength, integrity and dignity. And that knowledge gave her a self-confidence that exuded from every pore.
Sharon seemed to sense that as she took a step back and raised her hands. Rachel realized from the posture and the look on her face that Sharon did not come to wage another war. Interesting.
Before the older woman could say anything, Rachel spoke first, very calmly.
"After all that has happened, you come here and still you don't have the good grace to either bring an interpreter or at least write down what you want? Really, Sharon? How long will you go on wasting your time believing in your own fake story?"
She didn't raise her voice; she didn't even feel the deep anger that had raged through her on former occasions. Rachel noticed that this lack of anger told her ex-manager more than the actual words.
Still, Rachel didn't want to have an answer to her rhetorical question, so she turned, closed her apartment door and made a motion to lock the door.
When she felt a hand on her shoulder, Rachel turned. Sharon was holding a small pad and her hand was poised over the blank sheet of paper. Rachel snorted when she saw that Sharon still hesitated to write down what she wanted, as if still doubting everything.
Without further hesitation Rachel brushed by her.
Again she felt a hand on her shoulder. When she turned, the other woman held out the pad.
Rachel refused to take it. She looked her former manager in the face and studied her for a moment. The brunette saw anger sparkling in Sharon's eyes because of her former star's dismissive behavior, but she also she noticed pride …and curiosity?
Sharon turned the pad when it was clear that Rachel would not take it, and showed her what she had written.
Sometimes it is easier to believe in a lie than to face the truth.
Rachel snorted. "Sometimes the truth is all we've got." And she waved her hand elegantly towards her own ear while she raised her right eyebrow for emphasis.
Sharon wrote something else down.
I'm here because of that truth. Can we talk? I only need five minutes.
"Really? What else do you want to tell me? I believe our last talk in your office was enough." Rachel was still surprised how calm she felt. "Besides, I'll have a meeting I need to attend, I don't have time now."
"Please, five minutes!"
Rachel frowned. She only understood what Sharon had said, because the other woman had raised her palm to indicate the five with her fingers. Nevertheless, Rachel ignored the plea. She wanted to pull out her mobile to check how late she was for her meeting already, when she noticed that she had left it lying on the counter. Damn.
Stepping towards Sharon to get to her door again, she said: "Excuse me," and inserted the key again. "This is not an invitation; I just have to take something with me."
Rachel stepped inside and on her way to the counter remembered that she had not closed the door, which, for the short distance would not have been necessary. However, considering the circumstances, it would have been better, because Sharon took the chance to step into the entrance. She didn't come all the way into the apartment, but from where she stood she had the chance to take a short look around.
Rachel noticed how her eyes lingered a moment longer on the camera and light above the door.
"Sharon, I have not invited you into my apartment, so would you please leave. I don't see any reason why I should want to talk to you."
Rachel watched Sharon scribble something down again, holding out the pad.
This time Rachel took it after a moment of hesitation.
I want to apologize.
"Apologize?" Rachel's voice dripped with sarcasm. "I didn't know you had that word in your vocabulary!"
Sharon placed a hand on Rachel's arm, who jerked away.
"Honestly, you'll have a hell of a lot of explaining to do, before I can even start to think you might actually mean it. So, what is the real reason that brings you here? More food for your slanderous campaign?"
Sharon flinched at Rachel's hard words. She decided to cut to the chase and come out with the truth.
I had a visit from one very fierce and protective lady friend of yours the other day. She almost ripped my head off. But –despite her outraged and respectless attitude that she displayed - she made me realize that I probably overreacted.
Rachel almost would have laughed out loud at imagining Sharon apologizing to her had it not been for the mention of a friend's visit.
My god.
Quinn!
Did Quinn go to her and set her straight? Without her consent?
No, that couldn't be. She would not have betrayed her like that. But…. But… then the only other explanation would be…
"Santana!"
When she saw the other woman nod, Rachel noticed she had spoken the name out loud. God damn it, Sharon always caught her off guard, not matter how much she steeled herself against her influence. Taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself.
"She came to see you?" Rachel then asked for clarification.
The older woman nodded again.
"When?"
Feelings of anger, astonishment and betrayal raced through Rachel.
The day after your interview came out. A smart move that interview was, I have to admit. And the perfect platform to do it, too.
So that's why they hadn't heard anything about Sharon's allegedly planned article yet.
Rachel noticed how Sharon's gaze roamed through her apartment. She must have noticed that the tell-tale musical posters and a stereo where missing.
The brunette didn't comment on the other woman's last remark. She still had to digest the fact that Santana had broken her promise and had walked up to Sharon without even informing her about it, neither before nor afterwards!
Knowing Santana, she expected the worst.
The pad entered her field of vision again. Rachel just wanted to grab it and throw it across the room. Not wanting to give the other woman the advantage of seeing her so emotionally caught, Rachel forced herself to unclench her fists and let out a deep breath.
Oh, how could Santana have done that? And why? After all the talks and discussions, why?
"Sharon, I think you better leave."
Rachel, I did not come here to betray the action of your friend, as hard as it might be to believe. It took me some days to digest what she told me, but she had a point. The reason I came here was to apologize for my somewhat irrational behavior.
Jesus, what had Santana told her? What did she do to make someone like Sharon Basont change her mind?
Rachel caught a quick glimpse of Sharon's face. There was something in her eyes and the way she slightly slumped her shoulders, probably unconsciously, that the brunette strangely enough believed her.
She tucked her phone into her bag and moved towards the door. With an effort she managed to say: "I need to leave, I'm already late."
Sharon nodded and stepped outside without further hesitation. Rachel locked her door again and left without bothering to look back at her manager. The older woman followed Rachel downstairs where she wrote one final question.
Rachel, don't be too hard on your friend. She is really protective of you. Not many people have the fortune to have such friends in their lives. And let's be honest, not many would have dared to face me and give me a piece of their mind.
Can I contact you again?
The petite woman glanced at the words. After all these months she finally got a glimpse of the old Sharon she knew. As tough as this woman could be in her business surroundings, as protective she was with her clients, as long as they didn't cross her.
And indeed, when it came to protecting someone, Sharon could understand to a certain degree that young woman who had come to talk some sense into her about her wrong perception of Rachel's deafness. Protecting what's dear to you and having the courage to do so were two traits that Sharon admired in other people. Santana Lopez had shown both, she had to admit.
But Rachel was too worked up by her inner turmoil to appreciate the sentiment.
With a shrug and a: "Whatever," she pushed the door open and walked towards the subway station.
Sharon looked after her with a thoughtful expression on her face.
Rachel was hardly able to contain her anger. Knowing that Santana was still at work, Rachel limited expressing her irritation via one short text message.
Santana, we need to talk. Tonight, your apartment.
You better be there and have a damn good explanation.
Rachel
Without further explanation she sent the text and tried to calm down until she met Tom.
… … …
When Rachel arrived at the little restaurant, she had managed to get her breathing under control. It would not do if she stormed into the place like a worked up bull seeing red. Besides, Tom wasn't the target of her anger.
Tom, sensing and seeing that Rachel was struggling to keep her composure decided to wait telling her about his idea. Instead he asked her about what happened and suggested they meet again another day to talk about his idea. He rushed to assure Rachel that it was really ok with him.
The brunette felt selfish to push her own drama into the foreground, but it felt good to talk about it to someone and she sensed that Tom was genuinely interested in what had happened. As much as Rachel wanted to hear about his idea, she knew he was right. She wouldn't have the mind to give him her full attention and that would not have been fair.
Rachel took a deep breath and began to tell him the whole story. His mouth fell open when she came to the part where Sharon accused her of faking.
I knew she could be a bitch, but that? On what kind of drugs was she on? He wrote into a little notebook he had brought with him.
Rachel shrugged. "Beats me." She continued with her story to the part of Sharon's house call and what she learned about Santana. Thinking and talking about her friend's behavior just made her anger and disappointment boil over again.
"I just don't understand how she could do this to me!" The brunette felt tears of anger sting in her eyes and bit her tongue to make them disappear.
Well, now I understand your comment when we met at the restaurant some weeks ago. The one about Santana being protective. I had wondered why she had acted like that, always glancing over. Now knowing about that whole Sharon thing, I'm not surprised. Even though I agree that she should have talked to you first, I think she really did it because she loves you – as a friend I mean. And she didn't want you to get hurt.
"I know, but still! This is about me and therefore I should get to take the decisions how to handle the whole affair. Especially after we talked about her acting on it on her own." Rachel sighed. "I'm sorry, I need to sort this out with Santana."
I can understand that. Let's have a quick lunch and then I'll leave you, ok? You have to eat something. In the mean time I can take your mind off it a little by telling you what the last offer was I rejected.
Rachel forced a smile for her friend. She was grateful that he was so understanding. But the news about the next role he turned down, surprised her.
"Another one?" Rachel frowned. "Are you sure you don't want to go back to Broadway? You have declined now – what? Three major roles? Must be some idea you're having. Are you sure you don't want to tell me know about it?"
Tom shook his head. No. I need your full attention and come to think of it, it might be better to meet somewhere more private when I tell you. He looked at her and smiled encouragingly.
"Okaaaay," Rachel dragged out the word. She was intrigued now as to what Tom's project could be about. "Why don't you come over to our place for coffee next Sunday. And bring Nelly."
He nodded. That's a good idea!
They ordered and over lunch Rachel was glad that Tom managed to distract her a little bit and that they had already managed to secure another date when they could meet again.
… … …
Santana was in between two clients when she heard her phone chime.
Opening the message she saw it was from Rachel.
Reading the lines, she clenched her teeth. Damn it. Why hadn't she worked up the courage to tell Rachel? It wasn't like her to shy away from confrontations.
Santana had expected some turbulence because of her visit to Sharon, but what came across between the two clipped lines felt more like a full grown storm coming up.
Thank you Tenteitudonadadeu for the beautiful idea with the notes! I know it took me quite a while until I got there, but thanks for letting me borrow it!