Usual Disclaimer… Glee is not mine…don't own it.

thesameasmine: Thank you, it definitely did! :-)

gllover22: Love your nickname for Sharon, lol!

Momiloan: Thank, thank, thank you!

JPElles: Here you go!

texican: Yes, right on both accounts, we know what happened last time things boiled over…she can learn from her mistakes.

laylarei: Thank you!

BSwifty1997: Yup, she is.

CarlineSC: That was indeed a great idea from Tentietudonadideu.

Redroseangel: You are right.

Rizzlescalzonafic: Thank you!

Chapter 65

Santana, we need to talk. Tonight, your
apartment. You better be there and have
a damn good explanation.
Rachel

Santana stared a long moment at the words, like she had done in the afternoon. Now she was sitting in the subway on her way home, bracing herself for that talk.

There was only one reason why Rachel would text her that. She had hoped that maybe Rachel would never find out about her talk with Sharon. On the other hand she should have expected it, sooner or later. No matter how prepared she could have been, it didn't make this whole situation easier. Not at all.

Watching the eerie lights of the subway tunnels pass by in a blur, Santana though back to her conversation with Quinn after she had received Rachel's message.

Santana had decided to call Quinn to tell her what had happened. She hadn't mentioned anything about this to Quinn before. Santana had not wanted to put her into the dilemma of having to choose between keeping a secret from Rachel or telling on Santana by informing Rachel about everything.

When Quinn learned of her friend's action though, she was stunned.

"You did what!?" Quinn almost shouted into the phone. Santana didn't say anything, her silence confirming that Quinn had understood correctly.

"Oh no, Santana, how could you?" The blonde then groaned.

"How could I not?" Santana asked back.

"Did you talk to Rachel before you went to Sharon?" There was a long pause at the other end of the line which told Quinn everything she had to know.

"Please Santana; don't tell me you didn't talk to her." Quinn said with a voice full of dread. But she knew the answer. Rachel would have told her something had she known about it.

"Q, you know damn well that someone had to tell that Sharon bitch once and for all to stop the shit she was doing," Santana huffed. "And we both know that no one better than I could fulfill that job for various reasons."

"Santana, I know that! But that's not the point! How many times has Rachel asked us to back off and not do anything rash? Why did you go behind her back now despite her telling us more than once not to?"

"Because waiting wouldn't have gotten Rachel anywhere! This brainless twit of a manger would've never stopped her slanderous campaign!"

"You don't know that!"

"And you don't know either that she would have!"

After shouting at each other, both women fell silent for a moment. Then Santana asked quietly:

"So, what do you think she'll do?"

"Who, Rachel?"

"Duh, no, the Queen of England. Of course, Rachel!"

Quinn sighed. She was disappointed that Santana had actually betrayed Rachel's trust, but she was not in the least surprised. This was Santana. She did what she thought necessary in order to help her friends, sometimes with drastic measures.

Quinn told her that she better braced herself for a proper verbal smack down, which she very well deserved.

"Santana, I cannot tell you what to expect. I can understand that Rachel is angry and disappointed. No matter what you think what would have been right, this was not your call. All you can do now is face the music. You can be glad that Rachel is not a violent person, because I would kick you in the ass that you'd feel my footprint on your butt as a reminder for weeks. Honestly, I don't know what she will do. Are you sure that is what she wants to talk about?"

"Yeah. Couldn't imagine anything else. Guess she just found out. Don't know how, though."

Quinn groaned. "Perhaps Sharon told her. If she did, then maybe you achieved just the opposite of what you actually wanted, Santana. You may have given her more food for her sick ideas. And it makes Rachel look like she can't fight for herself. It makes her look weak."

Santana was silent. Even though she would do it again under the same circumstance, she did feel bad about having talked to Sharon behind Rachel's back. She just hoped she hadn't risked Rachel's friendship in the process.

With a softer voice Quinn added: "I know you did it to protect Rachel and to take some burden off her shoulders. You had a good reason, Santana. Let's just hope Rachel sees that as well."

"Yeah, let's hope so," Santana managed a little subdued before they hung up.

She would always fight for her friends, no matter when, not matter where and not matter with whom. She didn't regret what she had done. She just hoped that she could live with the consequences of her action, whatever they came to be.

Strange though, with high school Berry Santana would have struck her chin out and would have given the girl a snarky remark in the likes of "sometimes you don't know what's best for you, just be glad someone stands up for you. Now, shut up and get moving." But with the Rachel she knew today, she didn't want to call up her spunk. That friendship had become so important to her that she wanted to make sure Rachel understood why she had done it. Even though the petite brunette might not agree with it, Santana wanted at least for Rachel to know that she did it because she valued their friendship and did not want any more hardship for her.

… … …

After her talk with Santana, Quinn sent Rachel a text asking what had happened between them.

Hey Sweets! Santana just called me
and filled me in about her visit to Sharon.
Is that why you are mad at her?
Are you ok? What happened today?
Quinn

Rachel read the text and bit her lip. Why had Santana called Quinn? Just to confess? To ask her to take her side? She shook her head. Whatever.

Rachel wasn't sure what Santana had told Quinn exactly. She quickly typed her response.

Yes, I'm furious with Santana, because of her
visit to Sharon. She told you about it today?

As expected, the answer came right back from Quinn.

She did. I didn't know anything
about this before, Rachel.

Rachel sighed. She believed Quinn. She knew that Quinn would have told her had she known.

I know. And I don't think you would have kept
that from me. I'm not mad at you.
I'm just so angry and disappointed that
Santana did this without talking to
me.

Quinn still wondered how Rachel had learned about it.

How did you find out?
Has Sharon told you?

'Please say no', Quinn thought. She didn't want Sharon to talk to Rachel ever again. But the answer was just the opposite of what she'd hoped.

Yes. Sharon visited me just now.

Quinn stared disbelieving at her phone before she forced her fingers to move again.

SHE WHAT?

Rachel could practically hear Quinn shout that last sentence and gave a short explanation.

She came to see me at my apartment today,
but I'll tell you the details later. Too
complicated to do it via text messages
and I'm just on my way to meet Tom.

Rachel looked up from where she was walking while typing the message. She was almost in front of the restaurant already. Wow, while being busy texting back and forth, she had not paid much attention to her surroundings. Good thing she didn't have to cross a street in the process.

She hadn't noticed the skater coming behind her either and he almost bumped into her when she abruptly stopped on the sidewalk. He swerved right and barley managed to move around her. Shit. Such an idiot! Rachel rubbed a hand across her forehead. She had to be more careful of what was going on around her, while walking through the busy streets of New York. Her hearing couldn't warn her anymore of anything that was happening around her while she kept her eyes fixed on the phone.

She felt the device vibrate in her hand again. This time she took a step to the side, closer to a building before she looked at the message. It was Quinn again, sending the answer to Rachel's previous text.

Ok. Lemme know if there is anything I can do.
I'm at home if you need me, ok?
Say hi to Tom! Love you.

Rachel smiled at the last two words.

Thank you, love u2. See you later!

She tucked her phone away and took another deep breath, trying to push the anger she still felt towards Santana aside before she met Tom.

A couple of blocks away Quinn slumped back on the sofa.

Jesus, why couldn't Santana get a grip on her emotions and think before she acted just on instinct? Well, that was unfair, Santana probably had thought about her actions, but most likely thought that the possible positive outcome – namely Sharon leaving Rachel alone – would outweigh the negative ones.

Hopefully the two friends would be able to discuss this and then put their differences aside. Quinn was just happy that her and Rachel's relationship had found a turn for the better again; she didn't want another rift causing her little New York family to break up.

… … …

Later that evening, Quinn watched Rachel pace back and forth in front of the couch while she was waiting for Santana to come home.

The blonde was torn between understanding her girlfriend's disappointment and anger and Santana's action. She herself had been close to storming the manager's office more than once in order to tell her what she thought of her.

Quinn was watching how Rachel seemed to become more agitated by the minute; the blonde doubted that she would let Santana off the hook easily.

When the brunette had come home from her meeting with Tom she told Quinn about the visit from Sharon in more detail. Quinn had been shocked when she had heard that the manager had actually showed up in person in front of Rachel's apartment door.

She wished she had been with Rachel, but she was proud how Rachel had handled the situations.

However, she had been surprised when she heard the actual reason for Sharon's visit. Even though, the doubts lingered if she had really meant it or if it had been just an excuse to get back at Rachel. Rachel seemed almost inclined to believe the older woman. Well, maybe Santana's visit had helped to flip a switch in the woman's brain somehow after all.

The blonde got up and wrapped her arms around Rachel. The petite woman let herself be held for a moment before she started pacing again.

Finally, Quinn heard footsteps outside in the hallway.

I think Santana is coming, she informed her girlfriend.

"It's about time!" The petite woman stopped her endless wandering and faced the door.

Santana took a deep breath before she entered the apartment. She could almost feel the tension in the air vaporizing through the door. This was an evening she was not looking forward to. She knew she had screwed up from Rachel's point of view, but she hoped that the benefit of her actions outweighed the deed.

She entered and waved her hand. "Hey."

Then she dropped her bag on a chair and draped her coat over it, not bothering to hang it up.

She hated that she just couldn't reason with Rachel the way she used to in high school. She hated the fact that she was not fluent in sign language more than ever before. She hated that she had to rely on someone else to interpret for her and she hated it that Rachel couldn't hear the sincerity in her voice. She hated all those things more than ever. No matter how much they had learned, evolved, managed and progressed in dealing with Rachel's handicap, this evening Santana just hated all the limitations it caused.

She collected her thoughts and started to sign carefully.

Rachel, before you say something, please let me explain!

"Guess you know why I want to talk to you?"

S-h-a-r-o-n? Santana simply finger-spelled the name figuring it said enough.

Rachel stood facing her, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her posture expressing clearly that she was not inclined to make it easy for the Latina. She nodded once, simply raised her eyebrow and waited.

Santana almost wished Rachel would have started one of her rants. The fact that she didn't and that she just stared angrily and disappointed at her was worse.

I should have come to you first before confronting Sharon. Rachel, please believe me that I didn't do this to hurt you. I just wanted to make life easier for you. You shouldn't have to deal with such a bitch and such shit besides everything else that is going on. I'm sorry that I did that without talking to you.

It took Santana a moment to sign all this, but Rachel watched her slow progress patiently despite the anger she felt. At least Santana tried, but it did not make her hurt less.

"You know, Santana, the worst thing is not just that you did it behind my back! It's that you didn't even tell me afterwards. I had to learn from Sharon that you went to see her. From SHARON!" Rachel almost screamed the name. "And do you know how?She dropped by for a surprise visit today! She caught me completely off guard! How do you think that made me feel? This woman already had the better of me for a long time and finally I managed to get over what she did and was sure that I could beat her by playing by my own rules. And all you do is walk up to her behind my back and destroy everything!"

Rachel's brown eyes were blazing. She forced herself to take a deep breath and to calm down before she continued. Her voice turned from expressing anger to hurt.

"Do you know how much this costs me? How damn hard it is for me to be true to myself and not succumb to what other people are thinking or saying to me? To not let others fight my battles, but to find the courage to do so on my own - especially now - to not feel worthless?"

The Latina looked pretty chastised and would have liked to just run out of the apartment in order to not see the betrayal and disappointment in Rachel's eyes any longer, knowing that she was the cause of it. But Santana also knew that she had to sit through this. If she wanted to keep Rachel as her friend, she would have to explain herself. Even if it meant she would have to pour her soul out – something she usually was not prone to do. But she could understand all the things that Rachel told her. More than before Rachel needed to have control over her life. And by meddling in her affairs, Santana had taken away some of that control.

Rachel watched a range of emotions chase across Santana's face. But before she could let her friend explain herself, she had to say one more thing and that was what hurt the most.

"You can proudly strut out into the world, Santana, you have such self confidence that it oozes out of every pore. I know how that feels, I had it once too, but everything that I could be proud of is gone. And now, after so many months and weeks I finally managed to be proud of myself again for having stood up to Sharon, for not having succumbed to her needling and defaming, despite all that I have been through with losing my hearing. But you think that is not enough! That you have to fight likes with likes. I'm not just angry because you walked up to her behind my back. I'm hurt by what it implies." She paused for a second. "You did not trust me that I could manage myself."

Rachel uttered the last sentence very quietly, but it rang in Santana's head as if she had screamed it from the top of her lungs.

The petite woman stood there, her arms hanging by her side, tears of anger and hurt now sliding down her cheeks unchecked.

"Rachel." Santana crossed the distance between them and hugged her friend. When she noticed that Rachel did not hug her back, she stepped back.

Do you mind if I write this down? She asked by signing. She needed to express herself clearly and that wasn't possible through sign language yet.

"I don't care how you do it."

Well, at least Rachel gave her the chance to further explain her reasons and did not storm off like she used to in the past.

Santana threw a glance at Quinn, who had watched the exchange silently from the couch. She wanted so much to help both of them to solve this, but she knew that it was something that Santana and Rachel had to solve on their own.

It was interesting to see this different side of Santana. The usual boasty young woman was quite subdued and lacked her usual snarky remarks. It was a Santana Quinn had only seen once before and she knew that the Latina was shook up by the whole situation and how it had turned out, despite all the good reasons she might have had to justify her actions. Santana actually seemed to fear the loss of her friendship with Rachel.

Quinn got up and filled three glasses with water and put them on the table. Then she pulled a chair out and gently tugged at Rachel's arm.

Come on, let's sit down.

With a jerk of her head she also motioned for Santana to sit at the table. She pushed the glasses in front of her friends. Rachel lifted it to her lips and took a couple of sips.

"Thanks," she whispered, looking at Quinn. She knew that her girlfriend was torn. She knew that Quinn would have liked to tell Sharon herself what she thought of her. Quinn probably understood Santana and her actions a lot better from her point of view. But Rachel also saw the pain in her girlfriend's eyes, feeling for Rachel and wishing she could solve this situation in a heartbeat.

Rachel reached across the table and squeezed Quinn's fingers shortly.

Santana had sat down in the meantime as well, frantically writing something on the omnipresent wad of papers.

Finally she turned it around and pushed it towards Rachel.

Believe me; what I did had nothing to do with trust in you or lack thereof! If I hadn't trusted in your capabilities of handling situations, I wouldn't have dragged you to Quinn's show or to the other musical. We wouldn't have asked you to come to the Perfect Beat Club on your birthday. You know that I like to challenge people. The only thing here that was unpredictable was Sharon. Her whole behavior over the past months was so out of this world that I thought she'd never ever get it. I didn't trust her.

Santana had underlined the last word several times to make her point.

I don't mean that you did anything wrong or that your method was wrong, it just made me so angry that she wouldn't even try to understand. And I thought that I didn't have anything to lose if I went to her and gave her a piece of my mind. The last thing I expected her to do is to show up on your doorstep, though. I actually didn't want you to have to face her anymore, I didn't want her to force you do things in order to parry her actions.

Rachel absorbed those words while Santana had her eyes glued to the petite form. The Latina hoped with all her heart that her friend would understand her actions and forgive her.

"You know Santana; I get what you are trying to say. But she didn't force me to do anything. In the end, it was still my free choice to say, yes, I'll go out to dinner or yes, I'll do the interview. Granted, the circumstances she created pushed me to do those things, but I still had the choice. I still could have said no, I won't do it."

And where would it have led you? Santana challenged her.

"I don't know Santana." Rachel shrugged. "But that would have been my prerogative to find out, don't you think?"

Santana tilted her head and studied Rachel for a moment.

You know, I get that you need control over your life, maybe now more than ever, but don't forget that once in a while we all need help. We all come to points in our lives where we need to lean on others, you know that! Even though you are deaf and you need to prove more than others what you are capable of - especially to yourself - don't think that you can manage everything by yourself. No one can. We're all depended on each other's help.

Quinn read Santana's words in parallel with Rachel, so she would be in the loop of the conversation. She saw that both women had a point, but she also saw that it could become an endless discussion with the two stubborn hot heads on the table.

She lifted her hands to make an arbitrary suggestion.

"Guys," She didn't wait for an answer and soldiered on. "I understand that Santana was trying to help and I understand her reasons for doing so. Rachel, I honestly wish I would have done the same." She lifted a hand to stop any comment coming from her girlfriend. "The reason is simple. We both love you Rachel. In different ways, but we still love you. And you want to protect what you love. Sometimes this protectiveness overrides any logical reason and pushes you ahead and lets you do things you wouldn't do under other circumstances."

The blonde looked at Santana who nodded hardy visible. Maybe Quinn would find the right words to get through to Rachel.

"But I also understand you, Rachel, because I would hate it if someone deliberately went against my wishes, not matter how benevolent the intentions are. I get both your points. Try to understand each other's situation."

Quinn looked at the two women. Rachel turned her head away and looked at the table, rubbing at an invisible spot.

After a moment, she lifted her head and focused on the Latina.

"Santana, I just don't know how I can trust you again. I really want to, I know what a good friend you have become and I would never want to lose this friendship, for nothing in the world. But I just don't know how to still these doubts I have in my mind that every time I tell you something, you might let your anger overrule and do something stupid like that again." Rachel said this very quietly. She didn't sound angry anymore, just sad and unsure.

Santana understood that her actions had caused a rift between them, and in a twisted kind of sense she could understand also Rachel's reaction. Still, it hurt to hear those words. It hurt a lot.

Rachel's eyes looked up at her. "Tell me how I can stop that voice inside my head. Just tell me how."

Rachel wished this had never happened. She wished she could just wipe all those doubts and hurt feelings away. She didn't want any more drama in her life. She almost laughed at that notion.

The drama queen herself was sick of dramas.

But there wasn't a button she could just press and change her feelings, as much as she wanted it.

Santana looked at the brown pleading eyes and desperately wished she had an answer.

I guess only time can show that. Santana pushed herself up, suddenly feeling as if she was carrying a heavy weight on her shoulders.

The Latina would never have thought that the possible loss of Rachel's friendship could make her that sad. But when it came to issues of trust, that wasn't something you could mend overnight. That needed time. And if it meant to save their friendship, Santana was willing to do anything to gain that trust back.

She stepped towards Rachel and hesitantly bent down to give her a hug. This time the brunette did not refuse and lightly hugged Santana back.

"I'm sorry Rachel. I really am." The Latina spoke into her ear, despite knowing that her friend couldn't hear her.

Rachel felt the vibrations in Santana's chest. When Santana pulled back, both had tears in her eyes and the Latina repeated her words with her hands. Then she turned and collected her things and walked out the door. She needed time to think. This whole situation had rattled her more than she would have thought.

She appreciated Rachel's wish to reestablish their basis of trust, but she didn't have quick solution for that.

Rachel watched Santana leave and felt her heart ache. Nevertheless, she could not find the strength to call her back.

… … …

Santana pulled up all her courage and called Jenna when she was out of the door. She needed to talk to someone. Someone who knew Rachel and her situation with Sharon, but also someone who was not that close. Jenna was the perfect person. Besides, Santana really missed her. They had met twice in the past weeks and had shared some laughs and nice evenings. But nothing more had ever happened, neither of them implying more than friendship at the moment.

When Jenna picked up her phone, Santana quickly told her what had happened and asked, if she could come over.

"I need an outside opinion. I just don't know what I can do now."

"Sure, come on over. How long will it take you?"

"Um, I'm actually on my way to your place already. Guess about fifteen minutes."

"Good, I have finished my rehearsal for today. I'll be home about that same time. If not, don't run away, ok?"

Santana chuckled. "No, I'll stay put. See ya."

She hung up and felt a tiny bit better. It was good to be able to talk someone about this. Quinn would have understood, but she was too close to Rachel.

Both women arrived at the same time in front of Jenna's apartment. They ordered some Chinese Food and even though Santana was not particularly hungry, she forced herself to eat a couple of bites.

Jenna asked her to start from the beginning and Santana quickly recaptured the story with Sharon and Rachel and then added her involvement with more detail than what she had shared over the phone. When Santana finished, Jenna could understand the predicament her friend was in.

"But even knowing that Rachel would not be happy if she found out, why did you go to Sharon?"

Santana shrugged and sighed.

"I just… I just felt so helpless! I hate being helpless, I hate my friends having to suffer because of other people. I know!" She held up a defensive hand. "I know you are aware of my bullying past. But Rachel has gone through so much, I have found in her a real good friend, I just had to do something!"

"Santana, I understand. I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same. But still, Rachel is trying to get her life together and that means taking up self-responsibility again. I can imagine that this is hard enough for her as it is with her being deaf and all. But this situation was hers to solve. And you should have respected that."

"But I have! I played along the whole time, even though I wanted to rip that bitch's head off! And now she is angry with me, instead of Sharon." Santana's shoulder's slumped and Jenna noticed how she fought back the tears.

She placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Have you explained to her why you did it?"

Santana nodded.

"Well, what did she say?"

"Something that really hurt."

"What was it?"

"That she doesn't know how to trust me again. And she thinks that I didn't trust her to handle the situation herself."

Jenna looked sadly at her friend who seemed to shrink by the minute.

"Santana, look. I understand that you meant well. I also understand that Rachel feels betrayed. She asked you several times to back down, you told me. I'm sure she will understand your motive and I'm sure she will forgive you. Honestly, even though this was all for the better, you need to give her the right to be angry at going at Sharon behind her back."

"That's not what I want to hear." Santana grumbled. She felt her phone vibrate in her handbag, but refused to answer. She was in no state to talk to anyone at the moment.

"I know that you don't like to hear that. But I'm sure she will also take some time and come to understand the reasons why you did it. What did Sharon want from her?"

"I don't know. She never said and during our discussion I forgot to ask. You know, I should have thought about Sharon taking my visit out on Rachel. How could I have been so stupid?"

Jenna turned towards her friend after placing her wine glass on the table. "Santana, you couldn't have predicted her behavior. And being angry with yourself now for not having thought about this, won't help. Maybe she did go to apologize…"

"Yeah, right!" Santana interrupted her, but Jenna continued.

"Try to focus your energy on saving your friendship and not on what Sharon might do or not do." She paused for a moment. "You know, maybe Rachel was right in doing it her way. Giving more and more energy into this situations only helps to escalate it, but not to solve it."

Santana looked at her with a frown. "Yeah. Could be." She took a sip of wine. "Why is life so fucking unfair sometimes?"

"Don't know. It depends on how you look at things. Whether you are right or Rachel, if both of you don't want to lose your friendship, you will get through this. Hell, Rachel has managed more difficult situations and she has come a long way. Give her some credit. She will understand you eventually." Jenna looked at her friend. "But do you understand her as well?"

When Santana didn't answer right away, Jenna prompted her. "I hear you hoping all the time that she understands your actions, but do you understand what she is feeling as well? Why she thinks you didn't trust her?"

"But this had never anything to do with not trusting her."

"Santana, you know that, but take it from her perspective. You said it yourself, especially in her situation she needs to prove more than other people that she is still capable of taking care of herself. I can understand that she felt you didn't think her to be strong enough – even if you never meant it to come across that way."

Santana leaned forward and pressed her hands against her temples. "This is just… ugh, shit!"

… … …

Rachel felt some arms from behind wrapping around her. She turned into Quinn's embrace.

Quinn did not know what to do; she wanted to console both her friends.

How do you feel?

Rachel shrugged. "Like shit."

Anything I can do to help?

"No. Not really. God, I hate this!" Rachel thumped the heel of her palm against her forehead. "Can't these doubts just go away? Can't this voice just shut up? I mean I understand why Santana did that, sort of. I get that she is sorry and that she didn't do it to hurt me. I don't want that to stand between us. I don't want fucking Sharon Basont to stand between us."

Well, maybe you should tell her that.

Rachel nodded. "Maybe." She disentangled herself from Quinn.

Taking a moment to compose herself, Rachel then got her phone and started typing a message. Then she lowered her hands, thinking.

After a moment she asked almost shyly:

"Can you… could you call her from my phone and tell me if she picks up?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow, surprised, and then smiled. Sure.

She took the phone that Rachel handed her and dialed Santana's number. Listening for the rings, she mouthed "Voicemail" when the familiar automatic voice told her to leave a message.

Quinn would have interpreted, had Santana picked up the phone. Now she wasn't sure what Rachel wanted to do.

Rachel nodded and held out a hand. She could at least leave a message.

Ok, go! Quinn gave her the phone.

Rachel pressed the phone against her ear and started talking. It still felt strange to hold a phone like that. She focused on what she wanted to say. When she finished, she handed the phone back to Quinn, making a motion for her to listen. Talking up the cue, the blonde pressed the phone to her own ear, nodded and ended the call.

I think it recorded your whole message, I just heard the beep. She smiled at Rachel, holding out the phone to her.

"Thanks for helping," Rachel waved the mobile and smiled.

You know, I'm very proud of you. Quinn answered instead and kissed her girlfriend. Hopefully Santana would get the message. Rachel wasn't usually calling people personally anymore.

"Let's just hope Santana will answer soon."

I'm sure she will. Don't worry. She won't give up on you just because you had a fight. Just the same you didn't want to give up on her.

Rachel smiled weakly at her girlfriend who wrapped her in her arms and held her for a while.

… … …

"Uh." Santana dropped back against Jenna's couch.

"What?" Jenna came back from the bathroom and found the Latina in a state of - well, she couldn't find a name to describe what she saw. Santana seemed relieved, surprised, in awe, but had a smile on her face and shook her head in parallel.

"God, what happened, Santana? Are you ok? I wasn't gone that long," Jenna then joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Without answering Santana then replayed the message she had received earlier when her phone had buzzed in her bag.

"Santana, it's Rachel. Look, I… I'm sorry I just couldn't say that everything is fine and that I forgive you. I understand why you went to Sharon. I still think you should have told be, but I guess what's done is done. I also know you did it because you love me as a friend. And for that I am very grateful. I mean it. Before I lose a friend over my pride, I'd rather swallow it. And before I let anyone, much less someone like Sharon stand between us, I'd hope to have a chance to mend our friendship. … Let me know if you… if you want to talk. Bye."

It felt strange to hear Rachel's voice over her phone, knowing that she normally wouldn't resolve to such measures. She had only used her phone once in the usual sense, calling Kurt when Quinn was in the hospital and that had been an absolute emergency. That she did it again now and did not just send a message, showed Santana that she meant a lot to Rachel.

"Wow. She called you?" The red haired, young woman smiled. "See, your friendship is worth more than a thousand fights and Sharon Basont."

Santana just nodded.

"Wanna go see her?"

The Latina swallowed. "Yes. You know, Rachel has surprised me a lot in the past months with her courage. But calling me, after I more or less messed up things – leaving my good intentions aside – really … um, gets to me." She sniffed quietly, not wanting to let the tears fall in front of her friend. Damn. This Berry woman really turned her all mushy and girly inside.

Santana got up from the couch. "Want to come with me?"

Jenna laughed. "Are you afraid to go alone?"

"No. Well, a bit nervous, I guess. But if you ever tell anyone I said that, I will kill you!"

Jenna chuckled. "Sure. Never heard anything. Still need me to hold your hand?"

"It would just be nice to have someone to talk to along the way."

"Fine. Let me get my things together. Though it didn't seem like Rachel wanted to rip your head off after leaving that message." Jenna laughed.

They quickly put the rest of the food away and Jenna threw on her coat. They took the subway back to Santana's and Quinn's apartment.

Jenna was happy that the two friends both seemed to want to fix their friendship. She felt a bit like an intruder, tugging along, but since Santana had specifically asked for her support and since she knew Rachel and Quinn as well, she guessed it was ok to come along.

… … …

Quinn heard the key in the lock and told Rachel that Santana was coming home, just like some hours ago. She and Rachel were both surprised, when the redhead also entered and shyly gave a tiny wave.

"Hello Jenna." Rachel greeted her. It almost sounded like a question, but she hugged the other small woman in greeting. Then Quinn threw her arms around her old friend as well.

Rachel smiled at Santana. "Hi."

"Hey." Santana rushed nervously into the apartment and while she hung up their coats, Jenna used the moment to tell Rachel in written form: She would never admit it, but she was afraid to lose you. Guess that's why she needed some support to come here. But don't tell her I said that!

Rachel smiled. "Promise I won't. Come in. Nice to see you," and she gave that other woman another hug.

Turning, she saw Santana standing behind one of the chairs of the dining table, looking at her wearily.

"Santana, I meant what I said. Don't look like I'm going to rip your head off." Then she added as an afterthought. "You did get the whole message?"

The Latina nodded. Yes, I did, she signed. She collected all her effort and continued with her hands.

I'm really sorry that I didn't talk to you about this. Guess I ignored my common sense because I knew you'd talk me out of it. Still. She looked at Quinn, silently asking to take over as an interpreter. The blonde nodded and raised her hands, when she had Rachel's attention.

"It was your place and not mine to talk to Sharon. It's just that … that when I see how much shit you had to go through, I had to do something! I couldn't just stand by any longer, watching that bitch cause you so much trouble and pain."

"I know, Santana. And I understand why you did it. But you know, going through this, handling this whole situation the way I thought was right made me grow, made me face reality and helped me come out of hiding even more. I can understand that it is hard to stand by and watch sometimes. But we have to make our own experiences. Only this way we can continue to grow for ourselves. No one can do that for us."

Santana pressed her lips together, nodding slowly in understanding.

Rachel continued.

"But that doesn't mean I don't need someone to stand behind me and support me should I stumble and fall. And yes, sometimes I also need that famous kick in the butt." She paused for a second. "Thank you for standing up for me, for showing me how much my friendship and I mean to you."

Santana swallowed and then pulled herself away from the chair she still held onto with a fierce grip. Rachel's words hit her right in the heart and the generosity and honesty that came across with Rachel's forgiveness and appreciation just stunned the Latina into silence. Which didn't happen very often.

"This is one of the rare moments you'll see her speechless," Quinn quipped with a smile, signing along.

"Ugh!" Santana made a face, but laughed. Then she moved around the table to hug Rachel.

They held each other for a long moment. Finally, Rachel pulled back. She raised her hands, while saying: "Hope I didn't stun you into eternal silence. Would hate to miss your motivational speeches."

The Latina smiled and also signed. Honestly, I always believed in you, Rachel. Don't ever think anything else. Santana's eyes were imploring and the petite women simply nodded after a short moment. She saw the sincerity in her friend's face and had felt it in her hug.

Thank you for calling me. That was… priceless, Santana smiled knowingly. Your friendship means a lot to me and I just wish… I just wish…

Rachel reached out and stilled her friend's hands. "You don't have to wish that you had never gone to Sharon. We all make mistakes. If you can be so forgiving after I wanted to cut you all out of my life, I can certainly, too. Especially if you did it out of love for me. Platonically!" Rachel hasted to say. "I understand that you would probably do it again under the same circumstances. That's just you acting according to your principles."

Well, but even I am capable of learning. So next time, I try to reign in my temper and maybe I even let you talk me out of it.

"Hm. Let's just hope that this Sharon story is over."

"What did she want anyway?" Jenna asked. "Santana told me the whole story."

Quinn interpreted and Rachel answered: "She did come to apologize. In the end she never did, but somehow I believed her intentions were true."

She did? That even surprised Santana. And what stopped her?

"I did. I didn't have time and I was too upset because of you. I just left Sharon standing in front of my door. But I have to say – and that is the most surprising thing – she did defend you."

Santana shook her head. "Huh. Who would have thought? Sharon Basont seems to have at least something where other people have a heart."

"Well, maybe your compassion spilled over," Quinn joked.

"I guess she got the message. And she knows something about protecting people. So for what it's worth, your message must have come through at least to a certain degree, Santana," Rachel stated. "Maybe it wasn't so bad that you provoked her to come, I just realize. She really did come down from her high throne to see me. And she did not seem to want to offend me, for a change. Anyway, that chapter is closed for me now."

"See, so it had a good thing that I went to see her in the end." Santana commented grinning.

Rachel narrowed her eyes, but said with a small smile: "Don't push it, Santana."

The dark haired woman held up her hands defensively. "Fine, fine."

Both women shared another smile and conveyed more than words.

They knew their friendship was strong enough to get through this, and Rachel would work hard on herself to not hold anything back from Santana. She needed to trust her. Only then the Latina would be able to show that she could be trusted.

Rachel had gone twice through the phase of losing friends over the past year, some turning away from her, some she pushed away herself. But now Rachel knew where she belonged to and who her real friends were.

Quinn looped an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. Then she looked to Jenna. "Stay for a little while?"

"Yes!" Jenna nodded.

They settled on the couch and comfortable chairs and Jenna told them a bit about how the rehearsals were coming along and they exchanged what else had happened in their lives.

Despite how the day had started, it turned out to be a nice evening among friends and everyone was grateful to be able to appreciate it.