This chapter has a bit of a reference to Holby City, so I apologise if you're not aware of characters from that show. Hopefully it won't detract from the chapter too much!

The ED was eerily quiet. It was lucky that there were so few patients; all of the staff were waiting with baited breath for any news of Lily's surgery. It was as if a pause button had been pressed over the department, everyone seemed to be in a kind of daze. By no stretch of anyone's imagination was Lily a friend to them all, but she was a constant feature in all of their lives. Not having her there was like taking away a wall of the building. Everyone could feel her absence.

Connie relieved Dylan and Ethan from their shifts: they were both too fragile to be working. But she was punishing herself internally too, they weren't the only ones suffering. She had had a perfect opportunity, more than one if she thought back, to check Lily over and make sure she was okay. She shouldn't have listened when Lily adamantly denied feeling unwell. But there was one thing rolling around her mind, remaining at the forefront and echoing endlessly. Connie had personally sent Lily out on the trauma team. She had been fully aware that something was amiss, but her only concern had been for the department and not the staff who were its flesh and bones. Connie sank into the sofa in her office. The blinds were pulled shut and the door locked, so she could appreciate the silence when she sat with her head in her hands.

Dylan was wandering the hospital, unable to settle anywhere. Immersed in his thoughts, he mainly ignored people passing when they asked what was wrong. He stopped to say hello to Elliot Hope, who didn't try to stop him for a full conversation but merely sent his best wishes, not only to Lily but to all the staff of the ED.

"It can't be easy, waiting for the news on one of your own," he said.

"It isn't," Dylan replied simply. He wasn't concentrating on where he was going but eventually ended up in the Peace Garden at the back of the hospital.

"What brings you here?" Charlie said as Dylan took a seat on the bench next to him.

"I'm not even sure. I just didn't want to be in there," Dylan said, wringing his hands.

"I know. At least Connie let you out; she doesn't have a clue I'm here." Charlie was trying to lighten Dylan's mood a little: he was staring into space and was so obviously replaying the day's events in his mind.

"Last I saw, she'd locked herself in her office."

"We've all been affected by this, Dylan. Can't you see you aren't at fault? We all had a part to play, we all missed our chances. But you did everything you could, so don't go making out you're all powerful and you were the driving force behind this. For goodness' sake, I found her throwing up and I did nothing. Sometimes we have to accept that power lies elsewhere from ourselves." They were both silent for a while, simply appreciative of not being alone. After contemplating Charlie's musings, Dylan spoke.

"I've always wondered how you've done this for so long, you know, talking to people day in, day out, delivering news that they don't want to hear. You talk a lot of sense sometimes, I'll give you that," he said, before making his way back inside.

Max crept up behind Zoe in the staffroom and wrapped his arms around her waist, making her jump. He kissed the side of her neck and she smiled.

"Relax," he said. "There's no-one else here. And also relax because I could see you worrying about Lily from the other side of the door."

"Easy for you to say, you didn't miss a bunch of chances to intervene and put a stop to this."

"True," he admitted. "But I'm going to put a stop to this, you worrying yourself sick about something you can't control."

"What can I say, it's my hamartia," Zoe said, cracking a smile when she saw Max's bemused expression. "My fatal flaw, my kryptonite. The thing you love me most for?" she added hopefully.

"Not likely, he said, taking her by the hand and leading her out of the staffroom to buy her a cup of coffee.

Ethan held the door open for them on his way into the staffroom. He brewed a cup of tea and curled up on the sofa, glad of the solitude. Lily's copy of 'To Kill a Mockingbird' lay on the coffee table and Ethan felt a pang of regret for telling her the ending prematurely, despite it being what she had wanted. He picked up the book and began reading from the start, for maybe the fiftieth time. It could have been the first, there would have been no difference to the way he felt as he absorbed the words. Ethan was comforted by the familiarity of the words within these pages: he had so many memories attached to them. Being teased mercilessly in his English Literature class in high school for being the only one to enjoy the book they were 'forced' to read. Long, difficult days at university concluded with (and often punctuated by) long spells sitting out on the grass in front of his Halls of Residence. Carefully taping the spine back together when it eventually crumbled under the effort of being read cover to cover so many times. Lily's face when he gave her a book she'd never read for her birthday. Her look of abject disgust for whole chapters, followed by beaming smiles from ear to ear.

Elliot Hope knocked at the door to Connie's office. Concern was etched across her face as she unlocked the door to let him in. Once she'd pressed it shut behind him, some of it melted away.

"Hello Connie," he said softly.

"Elliot," she breathed. She ran a hand through her hair and accepted the hug she was offered. She felt so safe and reassured in his arms, she couldn't help releasing her frustration in floods of tears.

"It's okay Connie," he whispered into her hair. "You don't have to act in control. The door is closed and I'm the only one here." He held her and let her cry until eventually she pulled herself together, wiping her eyes.

"They wanted to phone down to you, but under the circumstances, I thought it was only fair to come down and tell you in person."

"Thank you, Elliot. I'm grateful, I promise, even if I have just cried all over you." Her voice barely held any expression, she was still very much in shock, from both the events of the day and the way in which she'd let down all of her guards to show her emotions for once.

When Elliot was gone, Connie called all the staff to a meeting in the staffroom to announce the news.

Sorry for the cliffhanger, I'll update as soon as I can!