Chapter 65: Fabulous, Dahlings.

Ariel and Wendy looked down.

"Flounder." Ariel said, casting a doubtful glace over her shoulder. The little fish swayed gently against the current as Ariel pointed at their feet. "It's a sandcastle."

Flounder nodded. Eagerly, he flapped his fins. "No, no! This is it, Ariel! This is it! I'm sure of it!"

Ariel turned, running a hand through her hair to hide her uncertainty. "Edna Mode's…secret lair is…a sandcastle?" she asked.

Flounder splashed offshore as Wendy knelt to inspect the sandcastle.

"Sure is Ariel! Under the sandcastle! I've seen it work a billion times!" Anxious for approval, Flounder pointed at the sandcastle. "All you have to do is make the call!"

"With this?" Wendy asked, pointing to a conch shell set as a tower on the sandcastle. To Ariel's confusion, she eased the shell off the castle, and held it against her ear.

Ariel laughed. "I wish I had a camera."

Wendy grinned sheepishly. "Well. It looks like a telephone, doesn't – "

"Hello? Hello? Who is this? Who is up there? What do you want?"

Wendy jumped, jerking the conch shell from her ear. "What in the world?"

Amazed, Ariel gripped her trident. She gawked at the conch shell. It vibrated violently as a nasally voice rang from the pink innards. "Hello? Hello?...Is this thing working?...Hello? Chop! Chop! Answer up there! Hello?"

"It's me Edna!" Flounder called over the buzzing voice. "I've brought some friends to see you! They're real pretty and need some help!"

Edna Mode's voice continued to rant through he conch shell.

"She can't hear me. But I know she'll talk to you if you say you need a dress." Flounder assured. Encouragingly, he waved a fin at Wendy. "But you better say hello. She gets kinda impatient."

Wendy looked at Ariel. Ariel shrugged. Gingerly Wendy replaced the shell to her ear. "Um…hello?"

"AH! At last!" Wendy cringed as Edna Mode boomed into her ear. "Somebody answers! Hello! Hello! Who is this?"

"Well…I'm Wendy. And I'm here with – "

"Wendy what? Full name. Speak up!"

"Wendy Moria Angela Darling." Wendy answered obediently, holding the shell like a bomb. "I'm here with Ariel Tri – "

"You have a fabulous name, Dahling."

Wendy blinked. "Oh, well, thank you Ms. Mode. Um.. well you see I'm here with Ariel Triton. By your sandcastle. And…well…we don't mean to bother you, but we are students at Fantasia School for the Magically Skewed, and there is a ball tonight – "

"—stop talking, Dahling…..A ball you say?"

Wendy nodded. Then, remembering she had the shell, spoke. "Yes. And – "

"For His Majesty?"

Wendy glanced at Ariel. Ariel shrugged. "Sure. Why not? Just tell her yes."

Wendy made a face. "It's more like a celebration." she finally said tentatively, tracing the spiky spirals on the shell. "To celebrate the gifts given by the Wishing Star."

Ariel leaned forward. "Flounder said you design incredible free dresses?"

Silence.

Wendy and Ariel watched the shell as if it were about to explode.

Then, they heard a little beep from inside the shell.

"I accept." said Edna Mode.

Suddenly, the sand buckled.

"Flounder!" Ariel twisted as she sunk into the sand. Terrified, she tried to lift her leg but the suction was too strong. "Flounder! What's – "

"Good luck!" Flounder waved, bouncing in the water. "Hope to see you soon!"

"Wendy!" Ariel gasped as sand constricted against her chest. Extending the trident, she reached for Wendy's disappearing arms. "Wendy can you grab – "

Golden sand poured into Ariel's mouth. The gritty pieces coated her teeth as she kicked in the muffled darkness. Panicking, Ariel burrowed back and forth as her lungs burned for air. She had to breath. She had to breath. And, knowing that she would eat sand, Ariel opened her mouth…

…and inhaled. Air.

Overwhelmed with the taste, the feeling of air, Ariel opened her eyes. Wendy was beside her, gasping, but unhurt.

Wendy pushed up, brushing sand from her hair. "Where are we?"

Ariel looked. The view was staggering.

They were in a mansion. No. A palace.

Albeit underground, the abyss was designed to give the allusion of openness. The ceiling a was thin, cobalt slab that blended into perfectly smooth walls. Ariel looked down. The floor was so reflexive, glares from the cobalt walls made it look like she and Wendy were standing on water.

Round lanterns bobbed like a bubble trail down the blue hallway. Indistinct voices could be heard over the serenity.

Faces bathed in the reflections, Wendy and Ariel walked toward the voices and into a grand, spherical room. The room was made entirely of glass. The ocean was on the other side. So transfixed were the girls, that they failed to notice the little woman and littler dragon approach.

"Shut up! Shut up! You silly little lizard!"

"Dra-gon! Dra-gon! Witch lady! And I need that dress! Lickity split – "

"I said shut up! You are very boring! AH! DAHLINGS!"

Wendy and Ariel lurched as the little woman seized their wrists. Flustered, they stared down into the signature thick, black, round glasses of Edna Mode.

"So!" Edna Mode squinted. "These are the trespassers sent by my fishy friend!"

"Oh—" Wendy and Ariel protested as Edna Mode dragged them across the room. "—we didn't mean to tres – "

"Water under the bridge Dahlings, I've already forgotten it! NOW – " Edna Mode shoved the girls onto a center pedestal. Ariel and Wendy stood awkwardly, feeling on display.

"Now—" Edna Mode bustled back and forth, examining the girls from every angle. "Now! We see how you look in the LIGHT!"

BAM!

Shutters flapped open. Headlights went ballistic, flooding Wendy and Ariel in blinding light.

"YES!" Edna Mode screeched as the girls shielded their eyes. Excitedly, Edna Mode punched remotes for pink, blue, and purple lights. "Yes! More! More! MORE!"

"WAAAAAAAAIT!"

The lights powered down. De-energized by the anticlimactic hum, Edna Mode turned to the little dragon.

"Yes, Mushu, Dahling?"

Mushu pushed up invisible sleeves. "What about my dress? You know –the strapless fushia with ruched fabric that leaves little to the imagination?"

"I heard you the first time." Edna Mode said. She waved an annoyed hand. "And it is too easy! This is not Chinese take out. I am a designer! I crave challenge!"

"And I—" Mushu slithered in front of Edna Mode's pudgy, little nose. "—need a strapless fushia with ruched fabric that leaves little to the imagination before the ball tonight or I am a dead dragon! Dead!"

Desperately Mushu grabbed Edna's shoulders. "Do you hear me? Dead?!"

Edna Mode rolled her eyes. "What size?"

"Ahhhohhh! Thank you! Thank you Great One!" Mushu bowed ecstatically. "You da man!"

"Yes, Dahling."

"You put da Mode in Vogue!"

"Yes Dahling. I know, I know." The little designer batted Mushu with a size chart. "Now go away. Your cheap, greasy take out dress will be done and delivered in forty five minutes. Leave an address and phone number. Standard payment."

"Dragons…" muttered Edna Mode, scrunching her nose against her frames. Irately, she watched Mushu skip away. "…dragons. Puh. I use to design for Gods!"

Suddenly, she looked up. Wendy and Ariel flinched.

"What are you staring at?" Edna Mode snapped, pointing to her wrist. "Do you want a dress for the ball or not?"

"We don't have any money." Wendy faltered.

"Ah! Money! Money!" Lavishly, Edna Mode sat back in her chair. She looked like a space commander about to power into warp drive. "Ha! I spit on money! No – your payment will be to expose my masterpieces! Flaunt my brilliance! And send me pictures…" Edna Mode added with an arrogant grin. "…for my scrapbook."

Ariel grinned. "So Flounder was right? The dresses are free?"

"Free? Ha!" Edna Mode clicked her fingers. Dramatically, he lights dimmed. A soft spotlight hovered over the girls as Edna Mode spoke. "Only bad luck is free, Dahling. No, no. The dresses disintegrate at midnight."

"Disintegrate?"

"Disappear!" Edna Mode proclaimed triumphantly. "Copyright purposes."

"Will…" Wendy shifted uncomfortably, "Will we be…um…unclothed?"

"Naked?" Ariel supplied helpfully.

Edna Mode sniffed. "Better than your filthy rags…" she muttered clicking buttons on her remote. She waited as the pedestal boosted an inch. "…but no birthday suits! Only what you are wearing now. Poor things. All right – "

Edna Mode flipped open her sketchbook. She rapped her pen. "All right Dahlings! Are you ready?!"

"Yes." Ariel said, squinting through the spotlight. "Are…do you want us try on dresses?"

Edna Mode laughed. "So adorable when they're stupid. No Dahling – I have a system. A brilliant, genius, system! You might have heard of fairy godmothers – yes?"

Wendy and Ariel nodded.

"Well!" Edna Mode grinned evilly. "I have perfected fairy-godmothering fashion magic to a science. YES! I – Edna Mode – have created…"

Edna clicked a button. A drum roll played over the stereo system.

"…The Fairy Godmother Algorithm!"

Wendy and Ariel blinked.

"The what?" Ariel asked.

"The Fairy Godmother Algorithm!" repeated Edna Mode, leaping onto her chair. Zealously, she held her hands in the air. "Using a series of questions, I can design the perfect dress for any girl in her hour of need! The dress will be bold! Daring! The very essence of the girl in fabric and thread! And most importantly – "

Edna Mode clicked her pen. Smiling, she snuggled into her chair. "—it will be fabulous, Dahlings. So – "

Edna pressed the tip to the pad. "—shall we get started, Dahlings?"