Ok, guys, here it comes, 'da Tonys', though first we have to celebrate Quinn's birthday a little as well :-)
Apologies for the long long wait, I was buried in work and then I was traveling over Easter. But I have the next chapter also almost ready, so you won't have to wait for the next update as long as for this one– promise! This chapter has gotten so long that I had to split it in two.
Thank you for all your reviews and likes and follows!
Chapter 69
The time until Quinn's birthday and the Tony Awards went by too quickly for Rachel's liking. She was half excited about the day and half she dreaded the whole public event.
But before getting too nervous about the evening there was her girlfriend's birthday still and that was what mattered most.
Lying awake in the dark, early morning hours on Saturday, she enjoyed the warm sensation of holding Quinn's body close in her arms. Rachel had been so nervous about the upcoming award event, that she hardly found any sleep. The advantage though was that it gave her an early start to prepare Quinn's birthday morning, now that she was awake.
Slightly turning her head, she glimpsed at the illuminated digits of the alarm clock. 5.30 a.m. Rachel sighed. Well, at lease she seemed to have slept a couple of hours, remembering the last time she had checked the time, it had told her 1.30 a.m.
Rachel had debated with herself whether to tell Quinn about her surprise or to let her suffer and sit it out until it was actually happening. But in the end, also after discussing her decision with Kurt and Santana, she found that it would not be fair to keep it a secret any longer. So she had mentally laid out a plan how to tell Quinn about it.
After gently brushing her lips over the sleeping women's forehead, the petite brunette slipped out of bed quietly. She had enjoyed snuggling up against her lover while the other woman still slept. Her heart was beating faster when she thought about how Quinn might react to her surprise. She quickly dressed and carefully closed the bedroom door behind her.
In the kitchen she put the cake in the oven that she had prepared the night before. She had hidden the dough in the fridge behind some bottles that Quinn wouldn't notice it.
Smiling, she prepared the little candles that she would put on top. Slowly, the sweet and warm aroma of the baked good filled the apartment. Rachel turned on the coffee machine. For a moment she reveled in the wonderful smells, closing her eyes, inhaling deeply. Coffee and cake always reminded her of her grandma and they never failed to place her back into the old woman's kitchen. These wonderful smells were always associated with positive memories.
Opening her eyes she was startled by the figure standing opposite the counter.
"Santana," she breathed, relieved that it wasn't Quinn. "Did I wake you?" she asked whispering.
The Latina shook her head. No.
Rachel raised an eyebrow. "What? You woke up just like that? This early? It's barely past seven o'clock!"
I know. It's just that I have to get up so early during the week that my body refuses to sleep in during the weekend, it seems, she signed and yawned heartily. What can I do to help? She then asked again with her hands, waving around the kitchen.
"Maybe you can put the CD in the player, while I prepare the rest of the breakfast." Rachel suggested.
Santana cooked her head and looked at Rachel.
"What?" she asked cautiously. The former singer knew that look.
Just had a thought.
"What?" Rachel didn't know if she should be curious or dread whatever Santana had cooked up in her brain.
No CD.
"What do you mean, no CD? It was laying there on top of the pile." Rachel was confused. She walked around the counter towards the stereo.
Santana caught her by the arm. That's not what I meant.
"Then what?" God, Rachel just wanted to get on with her preparations in case Quinn woke up early as well. She wanted to be ready when the blonde walked out.
Santana dragged her into her room in order to explain her thoughts. Understanding what she meant, all color drained from Rachel's face. But Santana had a way of always talking her into things and making her push boundaries she thought were unreachable.
With a small nod, barely perceptible, she agreed. Santana rushed quickly out to organize a little distraction for Quinn.
… … …
Quinn stretched her arms behind her head and smiled without opening her eyes. There was sunlight streaming through the curtains and she thought it was wonderful that her birthday started with the weather playing nice.
Turning, she found the bed beside her empty. Glancing at the alarm clock she saw that it was already nine. She lay still and listened, but all she could make out was some music playing in the apartment. Hm, probably Santana was also awake. Quinn knew it was her day off, so it was great to have Rachel and her here for breakfast. The two most important people.
She sighed contently and dropped her arms besides her body. Then she lifted the covers and swung her legs over the rim. Quinn didn't bother to throw on some clothes; she felt comfortable enough to slip out in her PJ pants and T-shirt she wore.
Quinn was almost dying of curiosity to learn what Rachel had planned. She knew that the Tonys messed up everything, but she still hoped she would learn what her girlfriend had originally planned.
Opening the door, the warm smell of baked goods and coffee wafted towards her. She felt her stomach grumble as she stepped out in search of the enticing aroma's sources. A quick stop to brush her teeth at the bathroom and she was off again in search of her friends.
… … …
Santana cocked her head and grabbed Rachel's arm. Then she jerked her head towards the door.
Is she awake? Rachel asked silently.
Her friend nodded and started grinning. Quinn passed by the door and did not see her friends in Santana's room.
"Hello? Anyone there?" Quinn's voice tried to drown out the music.
Ready? Santana asked and then held Rachel by her shoulders for encouragement.
"Never," she whispered and duck her head, but a tiny smile played around her lips. That was all Santana needed to see.
This was crazy, Rachel thought. She had not time to prepare – not really. And why she had agreed to Santana's crazy idea, she had no idea. Must be the lack of sleep.
Rachel took a deep breath and walked out.
"Hey, darling!"
Quinn turned and a smile brightened her face. Rachel stepped up to her, wrapped her arms around the other woman's neck and kissed her passionately.
"Happy birthday, sweetie!" Rachel grinned against Quinn's lips. Then she felt a movement behind her and turned. Santana was impatiently waiting for her turn to congratulate her buddy.
"Happy b-day, Q!" She quickly hugged her friend.
Quinn laughed and commented: "Thank you! I'm not going to ask you what you were doing hiding in Santana's room. I'm just pretending that I didn't see that."
"Yeah, that's the correct attitude," Santana grinned and patted Quinn on the shoulder while she passed her to get the coffee pot.
Rachel walked around her and pulled out the chair at the head of the table.
"Mylady, breakfast is served."
Quinn gracefully slid onto the seat. The cake she had noticed before, but only now saw that it was her favorite, a marble cake, and it smelled wonderful.
Did you bake this? She asked over her shoulder.
Rachel nodded. "Yes. I did. It's still warm," she smiled, while she lit the candles.
"Ohhhhhh god, to die for." It didn't matter what other birthday surprised might have await her still, this was already the best, Quinn thought. A marble cake fresh out of the oven. There was just something about it when the rich, dark chocolaty part melted on her tongue and got mixed with the lighter part of the cake.
Santana laughed at Quinn's ecstatic face. "You think it can still wait for a second?"
"Why?" Quinn asked without taking her eyes of her cake.
Rachel found it absolutely cute how infatuated the blonde could become with food. She guessed if she had put some pieces of bacon in it instead of chocolate chips, Quinn would probably devour the whole thing at once.
"Because this is not the only present you're getting this morning." Santana explained, accompanied by her hands. She knew that Rachel would have tried to put things off a bit longer, but the dark haired woman knew it would not make things better.
"Can I blow out the candles first?" Quinn asked, her eyes still gleaming with joy over that simple, but thoughtful present.
Rachel laughed. "Go ahead." She watched as the blonde took a deep breath and then managed to extinguish all the little lights at once. Quickly Quinn closed her eyes and made her wish. When she turned her attention back at the other two woman, Santana nodded at Rachel.
The brunette cleared her throat. God, she was nervous. Quinn's gaze flicked between Santana and Rachel who had positioned themselves at the other end of the table. Rachel held on to the back of the chair in front of her like it was a life saver. Then she forced herself to pry them off to accompany her own words with signs.
"Well, you know that I had actually planned something completely different for this evening," Rachel began and hoped her voice sounded ok and not as shaky as she felt. She saw Quinn nod.
"And since a small, unimportant event came in between you, me and your surprise, I had to rearrange things a bit." She quickly glanced at Santana who nodded encouragingly.
"But I didn't want to let you wait any longer so I decided to tell you what your present is, even though you might not actually enjoy it today. I hope that is ok." She let out a long breath.
Quinn smiled bashfully, thinking that she didn't deserve so much attention. Still, she had no clue what the surprise could be. She nodded again in answer to Rachel's comment and her girlfriend continued with her explanation.
"I had a special surprise - in form of a person - for the party I was planning for tonight. Unfortunately, this person could not make any other date soon, when I told her about the changed dates. But –" she held up her hands before Quinn could say something, "-since she cannot come to you, you will go to see her."
Her? Quinn asked with her hands looking even more confused. At that moment someone knocked on the door and Santana held up her hand, explaining to Rachel what was happening. Rachel looked at the clock above the oven. Oh no, it was already so late! She couldn't do this….not with other people around…
The door opened and Shelby and Beth entered. Quinn's eyes went wide at the surprise visit. The visitors greeted Santana and then Beth ran towards Quinn and hugged her. Shelby followed more slowly and while Beth was still clinging to Quinn, she went to Rachel first.
Hi Rachel, good to see you again! She signed and hugged her daughter. I think this part of the surprise worked!
"Hi Shelby, good to see you, too!" Rachel laughed, relieved that Quinn seemed genuinely happy about her visitors.
Shelby eyed Rachel and thought something was a little off, but didn't know if she should directly ask about it. She decided to wait and went over to Quinn to wish her a happy birthday as well.
Rachel threw a pleading glance at Santana, telling her with her eyes that she wouldn't be able to do this, not now, not anymore.
Santana could understand Rachel's dilemma a little, but still thought they should go through with her original idea.
Beth sat on Quinn's lap and while the blonde talked to her daughter, she moved her hands in parallel. "Beth, tell me a little later about your trip, Rachel wanted to tell me something about my birthday surprise before you two arrived. Though, you already are a wonderful surprise!"
Beth laughed and delightedly clapped her hands together. "Oh, yeah, but that is not the real surprise. It's so great, you're gonna love it!" Then she remembered belatedly that Rachel couldn't understand what she was saying and slowly signed the next sentence. "Tell her, Rachel!"
Rachel sighed. She had recovered from her initial shock a little.
"Where was I? Ah, yes. I was telling Quinn that the special guest unfortunately was not available at another day, but that Quinn would at least see her somewhere else…." Turning to Quinn she continued: "Now, you have to keep the second weekend in May free – and I know you don't have any shows scheduled there, Santana checked with your director. Because, well, actually, we will go to a private concert …." Rachel let her voice trail off and studied her hands. Then, with superhuman effort she raised her head and looked at Santana, who took the hint. The Latina had placed herself behind Quinn and silently started counting backwards with her fingers.
On cue, Rachel raised her voice and watched Quinn's eyes go wide. Then she placed her hands in front of her face as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. And then she was laughing when she heard the slight text changes.
You won't find her playing under tables
Rolling dice or staying out 'till three….
You won't ever find her being unfaithful
you will find her, you'll find her next to me.
You won't find her trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won't ever find her where the rest go
you will find her, you'll find her next to me.
Rachel had to laugh when she saw Quinn jump up to stand next to her.
Santana sang the chorus and Shelby joined her spontaneously. Rachel finished singing the last
You will find her, you'll find her next to me.
Quinn's expression changed from laughter to crying and back to smiling during the short song. She was so amazed by the impromptu performance of her girlfriend that it rendered her speechless.
Santana smiled proudly and held her two thumbs up, while she walked up to Rachel and hugged her.
That was great, Rachel, really, and I'm so proud of you!
Rachel felt her voice shake a little, she was still so nervous from having sung that song in front of so many people, one of them being Shelby.
She saw Quinn struggling to regain her composure and Beth hugged her lovingly while Rachel couldn't read Shelby's expression. Then Quinn disentangled herself from her daughter and threw herself into Rachel's arms.
"Oompf," Rachel laughed and made a step back to regain her balance.
"Guess you know now whom you are going to see," she grinned.
The brunette felt Quinn nod against her shoulder.
After a long moment the blonde seemed to be able to let go of her girlfriend. Rachel had held Quinn with her eyes closed, not daring to look at Shelby or Beth, out of fear what she would see in their eyes.
Quickly Quinn wiped her eyes dry, placed a gentle kiss on her girlfriend's lips and then signed:
Whenever I think, nothing can surprise me anymore, you always manage to prove me wrong. You always know my most inner wishes, sometimes even before I become aware of them.
First the cake, then that we are going to see Emeli Sandé and then… and then… you singing with the rest of the guys here, my god, I just… Quinn started crying again and Rachel pulled her close.
"Aww, come here."
Few weeks back Rachel had noticed that Quinn seemed to sing the same song over and over while she was busy either preparing dinner or flipping through a magazine. Often she seemed to do it subconsciously. Rachel had asked Santana once what the song was and after she knew what Quinn was singing, she asked her directly the next time she noticed.
Quinn told her that she had loved Emily Sandé's voice and music so much. Immediately she had blushed, realizing what she had said.
Rachel had merely nodded and filed the information away in her brain. When she had thought about Quinn's birthday, she had remembered their conversation and the dreamy look in Quinn's eyes. Rachel still knew some of the songs, and remembered she had sung Next to me with Shelby when she preparing for an audition. Actually she just wanted to play that song from the CD, however, Santana had somehow managed to talk her into singing it herself. In retrospect that had been the better present.
Quinn wanted to know how she had gotten the tickets for the concert. Sometime it was funny how easy things turned out to be. Rachel told Quinn that Max had a good friend who was a good friend with the singer.
The star was on tour through the US and all concerts had been sold out. When Rachel had told Max and Lauren that she wanted to give Rachel tickets for her birthday, Max offered to talk to his friend. He knew that the singer had planned a private concert at a club in the city. He had managed to secure some tickets and Rachel was happy to plan the birthday party at the club.
For whatever reason, Max's friend Terry had given Emeli Rachel's email address and the singer wrote her personally and told her that ten VIP tickets would be reserved for her name. Rachel had sat speechless in front of the e-mail, wondering how she had gotten the honors of a personal e-mail form the certainly very busy star. It was quickly explained; Emeli had seen her in a musical and felt herself honored to have Rachel and Quinn with some friends as a guests at one of her concerts.
That was the reason why Rachel had been so disappointed when it was clear that they would not be able to go the concert.
Luckily, Emeli had planned another private concert in May in LA, after she finished her tour through the US. She offered the same amount of tickets for that concert, when she heard that the birthday girl would have to attend the Tony's instead of her concert.
Quinn needed a moment to get her voice working again after she realized what a precious gift and once in a lifetime opportunity that was.
"Wow, Rachel, I… I don't know what to say! This is just the best birthday ever! Oh my god, I'm going to see Emeli Sandé!" Quinn signed and squealed at the same time, making her guests laugh with her.
After making sure she had kissed Rachel enough – though for these wonderful presents she could never give her enough thanks – they settled down.
They all sat around the large table and shared a wonderful breakfast. Rachel was amazed to see that almost the whole conversations took place in spoken and signed languages. She was touched that her friends – and family - never gave up on the trouble to include her. Contently she leaned back in her chair. She was happy at that moment. Happy that her surprise caused the desired effect, happy that Shelby and Beth were here and had learned ASL as well, happy that Santana never ceased to believe in her strength and abilities. And she was happy that she had let her heart rule over her ego to let all the love in that surrounded her.
There was just one thing that made her even happier and that were Quinn's gleaming eyes. They conveyed more than words could say whenever her hazel orbs focused on Rachel.
… … …
Later, when they cleaned up the dishes, Shelby found herself a minute alone with Rachel. The brunette was still a little apprehensive of Shelby's opinion of her singing and had vowed not to ask for a comment. If Shelby didn't offer one herself, it was probably not to hurt her and Rachel did not want to dig.
The older woman held out a paper on which she had written:
Rachel, this was probably not easy for you, organizing a concert for Quinn and then sing that song! From all what you have been going through to put your own struggles aside just to make someone else happy, that means more than most people understand. I just wanted to tell you, that I am so incredibly proud of you! I consider myself very lucky to have been allowed to hear you sing again. And you did sound wonderful. Honestly.
The brunette stared at the paper, then shrugged shyly. "Thank you," she whispered. She didn't know, she'd have to take Shelby's word for it.
The older woman gently lifted her daughter's chin with her finger.
I know it is hard to trust others with their opinions. But you can believe all of us in this room, no one would lie to you.
"I hope so."
No. Don't hope. Believe.
Rachel chuckled. "Ok."
At that moment Beth came from behind and hugged her 'sort-of-sister'.
"Hey, girl, how do you like New York so far?" Rachel asked the girl.
It's good, but we only arrived last night, she answered, using her hands as well to carefully accompany her words with signs. After a little pause, Beth commented:
I liked your singing. You still have a beautiful voice. See, you can still do it! She grinned, hinting at the conversation they had at the Lima Bean some weeks ago.
Rachel bent down and placed a kiss on the girl's head. She saw in Beth's eyes that she meant what she had said.
Did you have to practice a lot? Beth didn't know the word for practice and wrote it down on the paper. Rachel showed her the appropriate sign and Beth repeated the sentence completely.
The brunette was still surprised about the perfectionism the young girl displayed.
She answered likewise, using her hands while she spoke, like she did most of the time now.
"Yes, I had to practice." She threw a look at Santana. "Santana had to help me find the right tune at some parts of the song."
"Just twice!" Santana shouted across the room and held up two fingers. Beth laughed and Rachel turned to see what was going on, but Santana had already dropped her arm again and just winked at her friend.
Shelby and Beth soon said good-bye to enjoy the afternoon in the city and go to a musical in the evening. They would come by again in the morning before they had to fly back to Lima Sunday afternoon. Kurt and Blaine, as well as Julia would also join them in the morning for the after-birthday and after-Tony celebration.
Santana buried her nose in a book, deciding to spend a lazy afternoon at home.
Quinn's arms sneaked around her from behind when all guests had cleared out of the kitchen. While Rachel felt the blonde's chest vibrate against her back, she saw Quinn's hands in front of her form the words.
Best birthday ever! Thank you so much for this wonderful wonderful wonderful surprise. Even though I love Emeli and her music so much, nothing can top your performance today.
And whatever will happen tonight, I have already received more than I ever could have wished for today!
Rachel leaned her head back and let herself be swayed slowly in a silent dance whose rhythm only the tow of them could feel in their hearts.
… … …
Later in the afternoon, after getting ready and 'glamming up' with the help of Quinn's stylist and hairdresser, the two women looked at each other and smiled, each thinking that she had already won the most important award in the world.
Quinn trailed a finger along the seam of Rachel's elegant charcoal dress, gently caressing the soft skin of her cleavage underneath it. She had the dark locks put up in an elegant bun, with few, curly strands escaping their refinements, while Quinn wore a French braid with pearls interwoven into the blonde strands, then end of the braid tucked underneath the upper part.
To liven up the dark color, Rachel had draped a magenta colored stole in across her shoulders.
"You look lovely and absolutely beautiful!" Quinn stated, hearing the huskiness creep into her voice.
Rachel quickly dropped her eyes to Quinn's lips, reading the words from them.
Thank you, she smiled, forming the words with her hands. And you look stunning and beautiful and breathtaking! That dark purple is a nice contrast to your hair.
Their lips touched and both women had to force themselves apart, before their passion ruled over rational.
"We… have.. to leave," Rachel breathed in between kisses.
Quinn only nodded, not wanting to take her hands off Rachel.
Finally they parted, their eyes dark and full of longing.
"Later," Rachel managed and then turned to reach for her purse, knowing she had to break eye contact with Quinn, otherwise they would never get out of that door.
"Ahem."
Quinn turned and saw Santana casually leaning against her doorframe.
Rachel followed Quinn's gaze and smiled.
"Girls, look nice and let me take a picture suitable for general audience – I didn't want to capture you devouring each other." Santana held a camera in her hand and Quinn quickly interpreted her wish for Rachel.
"I do say, you both look decent enough to be let out onto the street," the Latina grinned, while she adjusted the settings on the camera, one corner of her mouth curled up in a lazy grin.
"To hear an honest compliment would be a first, San," Quinn teased and pulled Rachel to her side.
"Yeah, ok. You both do look beautiful. There, I said it. And I know for sure that not only guys will turn their heads when they see you!" She didn't look up while she kept fumbling with the camera.
Santana did actually admit us to look beautiful, Quinn told Rachel. And she thinks we'll cause boy and girl crushes tonight, she grinned.
"I already have a crush on you," Rachel whispered and was distracted by Santana's waving hand.
"No more kissing, smile!" She ordered and the two women leaned close to each other, but focused on the lens in front of them.
Santana took a couple of pictures, some of them turned out to be lovely portraits of both of them.
When satisfied, she shooed them off. "Go, have fun! I'll watch you with Julia waltz over the red carpet on TV! Good luck!"
With a second thought, Santana shortly held Rachel back.
I believe in you, Berry. You'll manage! She signed with a serious expression. And I'm very proud of you for doing this, not only for you, but also for Quinn. I know that this means a lot to her.
Rachel quickly looked at the floor, before gazing up into Santana's eyes again. She just nodded.
I know I'm usually not a person that easily complements people, Santana added. To be honest, this morning, I didn't think you were going through with it, not when Shelby and Beth arrived. I would have let you off the hook then.
"You would have?" Rachel exclaimed. That would have been a first.
Santana nodded. Yes, I would have. I know I can be a slave driver, but I know you and even though it might not seem that way, I know how much effort this cost you. Getting back to my comment regarding complementing people, I'm grateful I could hear your voice again. Hear you sing. It did sound wonderful, like Quinn said. And, - Rachel thought she saw Santana swallow and a curious expression chased across her face – I'm glad you trusted me enough to practice that song with me in the morning. Santana reached out and hugged her friend quickly that she didn't see her fighting back the tears.
When she had collected herself, she continued. You keep surprising me, Berry. And I really like that, the Latina grinned.
Rachel chuckled. "Well, I keep surprising myself." She sobered. "Thank you Santana. Thank you for never giving up and that you keep challenging me."
"Girls, when you are finished with your prep talk, we should go…. I think the limo is waiting for us," Quinn commented both ways and then pointed with her thumb over her shoulder.
She had followed the conversation between the two friends and secretly had to agree. Rachel kept surprising her as well and Quinn wondered how she had deserved so many wonderful surprises and so much support from her girlfriend. The wonders did not seem to end and she was eternally grateful to god, the universe or whoever held a hand over them, that they had managed to work out their differences.
They each hugged Santana before they threw on their coats and descended onto the street.
In the elevator Quinn pulled Rachel close and held her in a loving embrace. Before the doors opened, she gently kissed the full lips again, seeing in Rachel's eyes that she understood what the blonde was telling her without words.
… … …
A black Limousine was already parked outside and the driver dutifully held the door for them.
Rachel felt the familiar rush of excitement flow through her at the sight, only this time it was also mixed with a lot of nervousness.
Sliding inside, they greeted Peter, who had been picked up on the way to Quinn's apartment. It was nice, Rachel thought, that Barbara had arranged the pick-up for her interpreter. She hadn't expected it, but the manager had insisted. No way that this man had to take a cab to meet her.
"Hi Rachel, Quinn! You both look absolutely wonderful," he greeted them and signed along.
"Thank you! You don't look too bad in your tux either," Quinn smiled and Rachel bumped her elbow into her ribs.
"Don't listen to her understatement, you look really great, Peter!" Rachel laughed.
Thank you, ladies, he grinned. Quinn had met Peter twice before when they were discussing and planning their attendance. She had noticed Rachel and him getting along quite well and was convinced that he had enough experience and sovereignty to support Rachel at the event.
He tapped Rachel's knee. Nervous? Excited? He asked with his hands.
Rachel let out a breath and nodded. Both, she signed back.
Even though she theoretically knew what awaited her, she wasn't so sure how it would really turn out. Yes, she knew the drill about the fans and press waiting at the drop off where the car's let the attendees out. She knew about the red carpet, the stands with the fans, the TV crews, more reporters and more fans.
As it was a dry and sunny day, people would be willing to spend more time outside than at other times, where the cold and nasty weather had driven them all back indoors rather quickly. Rachel had almost hoped for such an excuse, but apparently fate wanted her to play the game to the full extent.
Well, she consoled herself, most attention would be bestowed on Quinn and the other nominees that paraded the carpet. So even though she did not want to use the back entrance – and Quinn would have never allowed that – she hoped that she would not call much attention. And after all, why would she? She was not staring in any musical anymore.
A surprise had been a letter from Anna, though, her former colleague. As not many had her actual address, Rachel was not surprised that the invitation had come through that channel. But she had been surprised that the invitation came at all.
The cast had officially invited her to join them, because of the nomination. As she was not an official member anymore, she had thanked Anna and the rest, but had declined. She had mentioned that she would attend the event to support Quinn, but she did not see herself in any position or right to own an official seat.
Knowing she would run into her former cast members, did not help to decrease her nervousness.
Honey, we will walk across the red carpet together. I will stay by your side!
Rachel smiled and shook her head. "No. I appreciate your concern, but this is your night! Enjoy it! I'll be fine."
But no sneaking around the back door, ok? Quinn half joked, half meant it in earnest. Rachel had told her about the letter, and about her answer. The blonde understood her reaction, but hoped that everything wouldn't prove to be too much. Still, she insisted on Rachel having earned all the right to walk with her through the front door.
Quinn looked deep into the dark eyes. She knew that Rachel tried to be brave. She knew and saw behind the smile the insecurity and nervousness. And she loved Rachel even more in that moment. Remembering her four days without hearing, how nervous she had been to be around just a few people, she could imagine how Rachel must feel right now when they were approaching the flashing masses.
Rachel still thought that she would play a minor role, but Quinn knew better. Rachel had been a rising star at the Broadway sky, she had several success and very positive critiques under her belt. There were enough people out there, especially tonight, who would remember her and who would want answers, especially with Funny Girl being nominated.
They had talked about it at length. But Rachel was still convinced – or maybe even hopeful – that she would not draw that much attention.
The limousine stopped and the driver went around to open the door. Quinn was the first one to emerge, after giving Rachel a reassuring squeeze of her hand. The flashes went off like crazy and all Quinn could hear was her name being shouted from every direction.
The lights illuminated the interior of the car. Rachel swallowed and felt her breath come out in short gasps. She gave Quinn a couple of more seconds, before she slowly slid across the seat towards the still open door. Peter, who had sat opposite of her, shortly placed a hand on her knee.
He winked at her playfully and then nudged his chin forward. Out into the lion's den, he signed. I'm here for you. Only for you, so make good use of me, he grinned.
Rachel laughed, thankful for the little distraction and reassurance. She hoped she wouldn't get overwhelmed by the mass of people. Peter got out first and the flashes outside ceased a little. Obviously people were wondering who he was. One last deep breath and Rachel lifted her long skirt and gracefully stepped out next. She squared her shoulders, lifted her head and found Quinn smiling at her proudly.
The brunette flashed a smile back and the cameras went off like crazy again. Quinn waited for Rachel to reach her. Quinn quickly squeezed her arm and then placed her hand shortly on the small of Rachel's back encouragingly guiding her forward. The brunette smiled up at her and met the hazel eyes. Together the waved and moved over to the official red carpet. Again they were greeting by a horde of photographers and Rachel nudged Quinn forward a little. The blonde turned and a small and quick frown flitted across her face. Rachel only smiled slightly and widened her eyes, answering with that silent gesture that she wanted Quinn to enjoy the limelight.
The blonde moved a couple of steps down the carped, then turned around again.
They had debated whether and when Rachel would feel comfortable to communicate in ASL. Rachel had stated that there was no use in hiding it or waiting until they had passed the crowed, if people didn't know it by now, they soon would anyway.
Quinn watched Peter tell Rachel that people were cheering and calling Quinn's name.
They are calling you as well.
"They are?" She asked surprised.
Peter nodded. Rachel turned her head and looked at Quinn who beckoned her to come closer.
They want a picture of us together. She smiled while signing, Quinn nodded. Yes, darling, they are. Give them your best smile and dazzle them.
Rachel gazed at the people to her right and back at Quinn, then at Peter. It was so weird to see all this movement, the waving hands, the screaming mouths, the flashing lights and none of it registered in her ears. She only felt her heart beating like a hammer in her chest, her hands cold with nervousness, playing with the fabric of her gown.
She took a deep breath. 'Concentrate', she told herself, forcing the rising panic down again. 'You've come so far, that is not the time to break down.' She could do this.
She remembered the conversation with Shelby, where the woman made her shout the words 'I can do it!'
Yes, she could.
Rachel smiled bashfully and shortly ducked her head, only to lift her chin again a second later. She took a deep breath and called up a genuinely smile. She gave a small wave towards the crowd Again Rachel let her eyes roam the scene. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Peter interpret the shouts and screams from the masses, filling the void in her head with words. Slowly, a full picture began to form itself in her mind. Peter never ceased his signing and Rachel soaked it up, attaching the explanations to the view in front of her.
Slowly, a smile started to form. Quinn looked back over her shoulder where she was just giving autographs. Seeing the change in Rachel's expression, her own grin widened and for a second she forgot the raging world around her.
Rachel stepped closer, whispering into Quinn's ear, hoping the blonde would hear it over the shouts. "Shall we give them what they want?"
Quinn threw her head back and laughed. This was so the old Rachel she knew. She had no idea where she had found the strength and determination to dig out that well known charm and talent to please the crowds, but it was definitely there.
They leaned their heads together and smiled at the people who were clicking away like crazy. They posed and played with the fans and the crowd cheered happily.
Rachel watched Quinn move towards some of the fans again after a moment who held out pictures to sign for her. Some also kept on waving at Rachel, even when Quinn had already moved on. She turned to check if they meant someone else. Currently there was no one else close behind her.
They are calling your name, begging for autographs. And Peter gestured towards the barrier. Rachel looked at the expectant faces and indeed seemed to read her name coming of some of their lips.
Slowly at first she walked closer, Peter close by. A girl, who leaned across the metal fence, smiled and asked something. Rachel felt her insecurity surge up like bile. The mass seemed so excited and agitated; there were flashlights everywhere, everyone trying to get autographs and a good glimpse of the stars that were arriving. And nothing made a sound. It was already difficult managing conversations with more than one person, but standing in front of such a crowd with no clue to whom the attention was directed to and what the tonality was like, was difficult to master. If she kept staring at the soundless, moving and flashing mass, she'd get dizzy and the impulse to flee would just grow stronger. She let her eyes roam one last time over the people.
Rachel swallowed and focused back on the girl. The face seemed familiar. Peter unobtrusively called her attention by placing a hand on her forearm. She asked if you remembered her. You met at a club.
"Vivien!" Rachel exclaimed, recalling the scene at the Perfect Beat Club on her birthday.
Vivien had approached her then and asked for an autograph. Somehow it soothed Rachel nerves to find a somewhat familiar face among the crowd, someone who still called on her, despite knowing what happened.
Peter stood closer to Vivien and kept interpreting, while the girl spoke to Rachel.
You remember me, wow, my god! Thank you so much, you made my day, really! I didn't expect to see you here! I was kind of hoping because of Funny Girl's nomination to see you, but then, with you not being there anymore… Would you sign this for me again?
Rachel laughed. "Sure!" She took the proffered pen and billboard magazine.
To Vivien – again!:-)
A great fan and wonderful person.
Love, Rachel Berry.
With an afterthought she added a Thank you! under her signature. She was indeed grateful that the first encounter at this official event was such a positive one and that Vivien still valued her and her former performance.
The people next to Vivien also held out papers, Billboards and what not to collect her autograph, some even took a picture with her. They clearly knew who she was, still, holding out the Funny Girl pages and even some had photos of her to sign.
Rachel was honestly surprised about that reception.
Glancing down the carpet she caught Quinn's eye and both exchanged a smile, Quinn clearly enjoying herself, but also looking happy to see Rachel engaged with the fans. Peter kept interpreting the shouts from the crowd and never missed to inform her if someone called her name. If people found it weird to see him signing to her, most of them did not react to it. Maybe some Broadway aficionados had read the interview or just didn't care or understood that this was a rare appearance that might not happen again. Only very few commented on it.
An adolescent boy gave a depreciating comment about her attending the event, wondering why she would be here if she obviously could not hear. This stopped Rachel in her tracks for a moment, still grateful that Peter did not omit the comment. Surprised about her own courage she looked at the young guy, smiled knowingly and said: "Sorry, I didn't hear what you just said," and gracefully moved on. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw a couple of people grin at her quick-witted reply.
Peter bumped her side with his elbow and held up a thumb, grinning as well.
An elderly woman a little further down the line grabbed her hand and told her that she had read the article about her and was very sorry, because she had loved Rachel's performance so much.
"Thank you, that is very kind of you to say."
No, honey, I mean it. Keep going. Whatever you'll do, don't give up, Peter interpreted.
And the lady squeezed her hand again, before letting go. The woman's eyes told her that she knew what she was speaking of, surely having had to overcome the one or other hardship herself in her life.
"I promise I won't!" Rachel answered with a genuine smile, locking eyes with her for a moment, before she moved on. It was interesting, in a way. While she engaged with some people, she found herself to concentrate more on the individual. Even though Peter had to interpret, she was not as distracted by the shouts around her as she used to be. She focused more on the person in front of her, giving him or her undivided attention. And somehow it made every encounter – or almost every one – a much more gratifying experience.
Rachel turned and noticed that she had arrived at the official "posing wall" as she called it. Quinn was already standing there, flashing her smile at the cameras, toying with the photographers and Rachel was sure that they were all calling her name. She looked absolutely stunning in that dark purple dress with her blond hair beautifully done up, a few strands falling down on one side of her shoulder, giving a great contrast to the dark color of the gown.
Rachel thought she looked so regal, like a queen.
The brunette was so lost in her admiration that she only noticed after a short moment that Quinn was begging her to join her. She held out an arm, inviting Rachel to come up. The paparazzi who had not noticed Rachel standing close by yet, turned to see whom Quinn's attention was focused on.
Rachel gave a short shake of her head; she didn't want to steal any attention from Quinn. She wasn't even nominated, she was just accompanying her, so there was no reason to put herself into the limelight that others clearly deserved more.
Funny, Rachel would have never expected that she'd think like that one day in her life. It was her who had always, always sought the center of attention. Now, being asked to share it, she declined. But when Peter subtly reminded her that not only Quinn, but others wanted her to join as well, she finally complied.
Slowly she walked up to Quinn and let herself be pulled close. She looped her arm around Rachel's shoulder and placed a kiss on the side of her head, not caring about the world that went crazy around them.
This was a statement. A clear and official statement.
Quinn Fabray was in love.
Rachel smiled up at her and without the sounds distracting her, she drowned in the hazel eyes that looked at her with so much love and pride.
The both turned shortly towards the cameras again, both flashing their most beautiful smiles, before Quinn took Rachel's hand and walked on, holding firmly on to her girlfriend.
"You don't have to do that, you know." Rachel said, though secretly liked it that Quinn made their relationship official-official.
Quinn stopped and turned. Peter had reunited with them again, but it was never a question that she would speak for herself.
I know, but I want to.
They moved on to where reporters were waiting to get a short statement and squeeze in a couple of questions before the stars moved on.
Rachel wanted to let go of Quinn, but the blonde held on to her hand and pulled with her. Peter followed, always at the ready.
A female reporter of the network that was transmitting the event smiled at them, happy to get another of the nominees in front of her microphone. Rachel and Quinn both knew Shelly Lynn independently from other events. She was easy to talk to and had a talent to put people at ease she was talking to.
Rachel stood next to Quinn, smiling politely. Peter had positioned himself slightly behind the reporter, but still so that Rachel could see him interpret the conversation.
Shelly greeted them both and then asked some general questions about Quinn's play, about her being nominated for the first time and how she liked the overall event. In between she also threw the one or other glance at Rachel, smiling.
The former singer felt a little insecure standing there, "listening in" the conversation, but not actively taking part. She hoped the questions would be over soon that she could get out of the limelight, knowing very well that several million people were watching on TV. So she kept her inner turmoil hidden behind a professional smile.
Just when they short interview seemed to come to an end and the two women wanted to walk on, Rachel felt a gentle hand on her arm. She looked at the source of the touch and found the reporter smiling at her.
"Can I ask you a question, Ms Berry?" she inquired politely, her eyes never leaving Rachel's. The brunette tilted her head slightly to catch the interpretation of the question and Peter stepped up next to Shelly.
Rachel took a deep breath. That was not what she had planned. Not in front of a gazillion cameras and people. She had nothing to say. A warm hand squeezed hers in a supporting gesture. She looked at Quinn and with a slightly raised eyebrow and a hardly perceptible jerk of her head her girlfriend silently asked if they should move on. With the same barely visible gesture, Rachel shook her head.
This exchange didn't last more than a couple of seconds, but felt like an eternity to Rachel.
Releasing the breath she had held, Rachel focused on Shelly and gave a courteous nod to her question.
I read your interview and I'm positively surprised to see you at this event. I can imagine that after all that happened it must be hard to be here. Especially since the musical Funny Girl where you had the lead role in, is nominated for a Tony.
Rachel nodded. She was still waiting for the question to follow that introduction that Peter simultaneously conveyed to her through his hands.
How are you coping?
"Ah, good question," Rachel smiled. How was she coping, really? "It would be a lie to say it is all easy and I'm having a blast. However, with my interpreter I can manage quite well and I had some nice and positive reactions so far. But, this evening is not about me, I'm just here to support Quinn," she answered and looked up at the blonde.
Yes, I can imagine that it is not easy, Shelly acknowledged. Changing the subject she dropped one last question.
I take it you two are … a pair? Rachel saw the hesitation in the reporter's eyes and chuckled.
Seeing Quinn nod out of the corner of her eye, the brunette answered: "Yes, we are."
Grinning happily about having received such two valuable statements, Shelly professionally thanked them.
It has been good talking to you. Enjoy the evening and good luck!
Both women thanked her in return and finally moved on. Rachel exhaled deeply, letting sink in the fact that however short it was, she had given her first professional television interview.
Quinn quickly laced her arm around Rachel's shoulder and kissed her on the temple.
They had almost reached the entrance of the theater, when a comment from the first rows made Quinn's face turn angry and if looks could kill, the offender would have dropped dead instantly.
"What's a deaf singer doing at the Tony Awards?"
Peter had been quick to fill Rachel in and describe the person who asked it. Before the blonde could react further, Rachel parried the provocative comment on her own.
"Accompanying Quinn Fabray."
The fact that she did not defend herself nor deny the fact that she was deaf and just plainly stated a true and obvious fact, stunned the guy into silence. Rachel gave him a sweet smile with a raised eyebrow, daring him to say more. Apparently he had not expected for her to address him directly. After a short moment he caught himself and seemed to mutter something under his breath but Rachel was not interested in the details and with a small shake of her head indicated for Peter that she was not interested in a translation. She had learned to blend out certain comments or critiques or just plain rude comments over the years. However, once you heard something, it was sometimes hard to get it out of your mind again. Who would have thought that there were advantages of not being able to hear everything around you.
She placed her hand on Quinn's back and with a small pressure urged her to move on.
Rachel noticed that Quinn threw a last angry look over her shoulder at the guy, before moving on. Clearly the other reporters were angry that this paparazzi had messed up their chance to talk to one of the nominees and possible get more input on Rachel Berry's story.
You ok? Quinn asked with one hand, while the other held on to Rachel's.
The brunette nodded. "Yes. I am." And she was, even though she was a little surprised about her own wits and courage.
You have to teach me how you can so nonchalantly put people in their place without ever being offending, Quinn told her with an admiring look.
She had let her anger rule too close to the surface and had Rachel not given that diplomatic and honest answer, the guy would have received a verbal slap down from that probably would have been re-printed all over the press the next day.
Rachel chuckled and squeezed the blonde's hand.
They had finally reached the entrance and Rachel let out a sigh of relief. The first hurdle was taken. Now she just had to get through the rest of the evening.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe not at all… she thought as she they walked on, Peter next to her, ready to interpret and Quinn still holding hands with her.
The song is "Next to me" from Emeli Sandé.
There'll be two chapters left…