"Do you enquire as to method, or mode, Captain?"

Spock asked.

"There's your answer, Jim. Just as normal." McCoy

said from the doorway. Kirk turned to catch the

twinkle in the doctor's eyes, matching the glint in

Spock's.

"Seriously. I need to ask you some questions, Spock.

We have a section heads briefing at fourteen hundred

hours. I'd like to have a better idea of what

happened to you over there first. I can wait if you

need more time, but..."

"I will answer any questions you believe need to be

answered, Jim. I do not believe that further time

will greatly increase my recovery."

"Drop a Vulcan off the Grand Cliff of Jashareth,

they'd bounce." McCoy said, which Kirk took to be

McCoy's medical approval.

"My office, Captain, Doctor." Spock said. "As the

locks were sufficiently sturdy to defeat the rioters,

it is a somewhat more - congenial - environment than

the lab proper."

As soon as he was seated, McCoy pulled out his

tricorder and started scanning Spock. Spock lifted

one eyebrow, but refrained from comment.

Kirk waited until McCoy was done and then, with the

door closed and only the two of them of the whole

ship able to hear the answer, said: "What was it

like, Spock?"

For an instant Spock went what Kirk always thought of

as 'more-Vulcan-than-Vulcan', his eyes hooded, his

face and body so still and reserved he could have

been carved. Then he breathed in and out, slowly.

Kirk recognised one of the Vulcan meditation

techniques Spock had taught him.

Then Spock met Kirk's eyes, flicked one eyebrow up

and let the slightest of wry grimaces tug at his

mouth. "I find myself reluctant to discuss it." he

said quietly. "This is hardly logical."

Kirk and McCoy said nothing, but waited as Spock

turned slightly away, studying one of the astrogation

charts displayed on the wall.

"It seems simplest to explain by giving you two

specific instances of the entity's communications to

me, as examples of both the inaccuracy of its

understanding of our species and the potential for

damage to an unprepared and untrained mind." Spock

said after a long silence. "It promised that it had

the ability to alter the past and control the future.

Whether it had this ability, I do not know, but given

recent research into alternate timelines it does not

seem impossible that it could, at the very least,

fulfil such promises to the extent of moving its

subject to a timeline more in accordance with that of

the events it described. However, I believe it more

likely that these promises were false, or only able

to be fulfilled by alienating the subject's

perception from cthia."

He paused again. "Regardless of these

considerations, it is the nature and content of these

promises that is relevant here. They were extremely

vivid, hallucinatory images, with full sensory input.

My training, and my previous experience with attempts

at mind control, enabled me to identify these as

projections from an external source. A person

without such training, or such experience, would find

it - more difficult - to make such a distinction.

The Enterprise was, indeed, fortunate that the entity

was attracted to *my* mind rather than that of

another crew member."

"Wait a minute," McCoy said, "I released Lieutenant

Larssen out of sickbay this morning despite General

Order 1 9 subsection 4 paragraph 14on your say so -

but she wouldn't be relieved of duty, would she, if

that *thing* hadn't been messing with her head."

"The lieutenant reported contact with the entity not

dissimilar to my own." Spock said.

"She checked out under the mu spectrum scan." Kirk

said. "She's not a danger to the ship."

"No more than I am." Spock said. "Any attempted

intervention by the simplistic mechanistic methods

favoured by Starfleet Medical would do more harm than

good, doctor, in this case as in any other case."

"Now wait a goddamn minute," McCoy said, seriously

angry. "Apart from the small matter of professional

courtesy and the areas of responsibility laid out by

*Starfleet* *standing* *orders*, which makes it *my*

discretion to monitor and care for the mental health

of the crew -"

"Bones." Kirk said.

"One cotton picking minute, Jim - Spock, if that

woman's in serious psychological distress, I

*deplore* you carrying your own personal prejudices

so far as to *endanger* the welfare of the crew. You

may think, in your high and mighty Vulcan manner,

that no mere human can *possibly* understand the

human mind as well as a *Vulcan* can, but -"

"Bones!" Kirk said.

"I'm not done. But this, you cold-blooded tight-assed

sorry simulacrum of a normal being, *this* is too

damn far! How dare you assume that I'd attempt

inappropriate intervention -"

"BONES!" Kirk roared.

"Doctor," Spock said into the sudden silence. "I did

not mean to imply you would act in a way contrary to

the interests of your patients - insofar as you are

able to understand the interests of your patients -"

"Spock." Kirk said.

"However, for reasons which I cannot disclose to you

without an inexcusable violation of Ms Larssen's

privacy-"

"I've had it about up to here with you and your *god*

*damn* invocation of Vulcan privacy principles!"

McCoy snapped. "Which really just means you get to

swan around and make unverifiable assertions that

we're all just supposed to accept as God's truth,

well, let me tell you, last time I saw God she didn't

have pointy ears and -"

"Bones! Spock! Enough!" Kirk said. "I am this close,

so help me, to sending you both to settle this

outside."

"Perhaps Spock and I *should* step into the corridor

and-

"I mean *outside*." Kirk said, with a meaningful look

at the bulkhead. "Spock. Give Dr McCoy a reason he

can accept or I'll back him every step of the way -

right down to hauling Larssen back to sickbay or

straight off the ship to rehab."

"Oh, good God, only the military mind could come up

with something so *barbaric* as -" McCoy started.

"I am on your side, Doctor!" Kirk said, enunciating

each word clearly. "I have no intention of over-

riding your discretion, so, Spock, make it persuasive

or accept Bones' judgement. And if we can do this

without shouting, so much the better."

"Indeed." Spock said. "Doctor, may I ask you a

question without provoking another outburst?"

"Depends on the question!" McCoy said.

"How long since you last slept?"

"I'm just -" McCoy started to say, caught Spock's eye

and subsided back into his chair. "Tired. I'm just

tired. You're right, Spock. Sorry."

"No offence is given," Spock said, "where none is

taken. I will attempt to explain what occurred, with

reference to Lieutenant Larssen where necessary, and

then you must do as you feel you are required to. As

indeed, you would do regardless. Doctor, Captain,

although Ms Larssen's actions make it clear she

*was* able to make the distinction between the

entity's communications and her cthia, it will have

been difficult for her to do so."

"But she managed it." Kirk said.

"She was able to make herself *believe* in the

difference." Spock said. "But I that it is only a

belief, not - as I had - a certain knowledge. One

moment." He got up and dialled the replicator,

returning to the table with a jug of water and three

glasses. His hands were steady as he poured for the

three of them and then drank deeply from his own

glass.

"One of the images the entity showed me, one of its

'temptations', was the promise that if I cooperated

with it, I could become Captain of the Enterprise.

You, Jim, would be my loyal First Officer."

"And he was taken to a high place," McCoy said

softly, "and shown the kingdoms of the earth. And the

Devil said unto him, all of these kingdoms can be

yours..."

"Very much so." Spock said. "I believe that

particular temptation ended up with my appointment as

Lord High Senior Admiral of Starfleet."

"There is no 'Lord High Senior Admiral'." Kirk said.

"It was made clear to me that there would be." Spock

said. "However, as you are both well aware, I have

no desire for command, on this or any other ship. I

have reconciled myself to the probability that my

duty to Starfleet may ultimately require me to take

up such a posting, but I have no ambition for that

day to come soon, indeed, ever. The second

'temptation', particularly telling, was that if I

were to merely give my consent, the past would be

changed - specifically, that T'Pring would not have

challenged at the koon-ut kalifee. There would have

been no duel, no broken bond. T'Pring would have

become my bond-mate, we would have had a satisfying

marriage and I would have become the father of

several talented and beautiful children."

"What were their names?" McCoy asked, and when Spock

raised his eyebrow McCoy went on: "Well, it's likely

to be the only damn chance I get to do 'daddy talk'

with *you*, Spock. You boast about your fictional

children, I'll boast about Joanna, we'll each admire

each other's kids while secretly resolving that our

own are far superior, and so forth."

Spock's mouth twitched. "A pleasure which perhaps we

might defer, Doctor." he said gravely. "My point is,

the entity drew on my memories to construct an

alternate reality."

"But not one which was, in fact, appealing to you."

Kirk said.

"Hardly. For indeed, that day on Vulcan made a great

difference to a great many aspects of my life.

Although the events came at a not inconsiderable cost

to all of us here, it is inconceivable that I would

exchange what I gained for what I lost."

"I'm glad to hear that." Kirk said softly.

"Could you doubt it?" Spock said. "But, Jim, if I

had been able to tell that these images were not

real, but merely constructs drawn from my own

recollections-"

"And *un*able to tell that were fabrications,

distortions..." McCoy said. "Filtered through the

entity's unsophisticated, infantile urges of hunger,

lust, fear, shame, the need for approval. Believing,

instead, that -"

"They were accurate reflections of wishes and desires

that I had repressed and the entity uncovered." Spock

finished. "I see you grasp my point, Doctor. I

would now be struggling with the new 'self-knowledge'

that I harboured desires that my conscious mind

abhorred."

"But your maaagic Vulcan powers saved you." McCoy

drawled.

"Have you ever passed up a chance to take a swipe at

Vulcan mental sciences?" Kirk asked him. "As a matter

of purely academic interest."

"The day I do, measure me for a stasis box." McCoy

said.

"Leaving aside your characteristic reference to

primitive beliefs," Spock said, "which is not

inappropriate given your own primitive practices in

sickbay-"

"One all." Kirk said, smiling.

"Leaving that aside, Doctor, I was not deceived into

such a false belief because Surak's teachings tell us

that we must know ourselves, face ourselves, before

we can know anything else."

"And you know you don't have any 'abhorrent'

desires." McCoy snorted.

"On the contrary, Doctor, I know that I do." Spock

said calmly. "I know that I do and I know exactly

what they are. I face them daily. As a consequence,

I also know that I do not have any 'hidden' or

'secret' desires, so the entity could not undermine

me in that way. And before you ask," as McCoy opened

his mouth, "I have absolutely no intention of telling

you what they are."

"No, of course you don't." McCoy said. "Want me to

guess?"

"No." Spock said serenely. "Not unless you want me

to 'guess' as to your own."

"Maybe when we've all been drinking." Kirk said. "On

past experience, when you get done with each other

you'll both start on me and I need an anaesthetic for

that. Meanwhile, before Kentucky bourbon comes into

it, is Lieutenant Larssen going to be fit to return

to active duty when she's cleared?"

"I'll sacrifice a couple of chickens, examine the

entrails, and let you know." McCoy said. "Pre-

emptive strike, Spock."

"Captain, I believe that the Lieutenant will recover

and continue to be a productive and efficient member

of Starfleet. I would, however, strongly suggest

that the amount of invasive psychological

intervention be kept to a minimum."

"On your say so." McCoy said.

"Imagine," Spock said, "the thing you would be most

ashamed to believe about yourself. The desire, the

hope, the fear, that runs utterly counter to what you

hope you are and what you want to be. Now imagine

that very thing shown to you in such intense

simulation that you have no objective evidence you

are not actually experiencing it - by a being that

claims, and seems, to know you better than you know

yourself." He looked at McCoy speculatively. "Now

tell me, Doctor, what would your reaction be?"

McCoy looked down, looked up again. "Point taken."

he said at last. "Not something I'd be happy to see

come out under probe."

"I have observed you have had - unexpected - success

in the past with more informal methods." Spock said.

"I do not mean to imply that your expertise in human

psychology is completely inappropriate here. Indeed,

it may be the most suitable method for you to adopt."

"My god, Spock, you really *aren't* fit to return to

active duty!" McCoy said. "Next thing we know you'll

be suggesting that eight decimal points are

sufficient in a biology report!"

"That," Spock said, "is a rather reckless conclusion

to jump to, Doctor. The briefing is due to begin

shortly. Gentlemen, shall we?"