So this is it, the very last chapter of my very first fanfiction. Wow. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed: ETWentHome, Tato Potato, Tanith Panic, theverystuffoflife, xXxAnInspiredWriterxXx, niamhmcshane22 and Cactus-Creations; I've loved reading every single one of your reviews. Thank you for all your feedback, and I'm glad to hear you're excited about the sequel I've been planning! I realised I never actually made this clear at the start, but this story was named after the Gabrielle Aplin song, since it was sort of my starting inspiration for the chapters involving Lily's accident. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story, and I hope this ending lives up to any expectations that you may have (and I apologise if it leaves you asking questions that won't be answered until the sequel! Please review, I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter, and the story as a whole. Now, on with the chapter, I've rambled on for far too long!
"Are you ready?" Ethan said. Lily took a deep breath. This day had been coming the best part of a year, and it seemed strange now to be arriving in the staff car park of Holby's ED, twenty minutes before the start of her shift. She checked her reflection in the mirror and straightened her ponytail one last time.
"Let's do it."
She held Ethan's hand until they were in plain sight of the door.
"I had begun to think the Ice Princess had thawed her crown," Ethan said as she squeezed his hand then let it drop to his side.
"I just want to do this for myself, to show everyone that things are back to normal." Just to prove that perhaps the Ice Princess had thawed, she kissed between his eyebrows, standing on tiptoe and balancing on the tip of her prosthetic foot.
"And if I couldn't appreciate that, I'd be the worst person on this earth. Good luck today, I love you."
"Love you too," she replied, before drawing herself up to her full height and walking confidently into the ED.
Ethan waited for a few moments, at the door, after Lily had gone in, so as to grant her wish of entering independently. With baited breath, he smiled slightly as he watched her walk up to the reception desk and sign in like it was a normal day, and she'd never been away.
"Morning," Louise said automatically, not realising who it was. She looked up and gasped in surprise. "Oh! Lily, it's you!"
"It's me," Lily smiled. "And before you ask, I'm feeling fine. It's good to be back." She turned around as she heard the click of expensive heels. Zoe and Connie looked equally pleased and relieved to see her.
"And it's good to have you back. Still nervous?" Zoe said, hugging Lily tightly and lifting her off the ground a few inches.
"Hey, watch out! I can walk but don't test me too hard!" Lily laughed. "And I'm still terrified," she said. Zoe had been round to visit the week before, and had tries her level best to iron out Lily's worries and help her feel ready to come back to work.
"I'm very proud that you've recovered so well, Lily," Connie said. "But is Dr Chao ready to take up the reins again?"
"Yes," Lily said without pausing to think. "Absolutely."
"Good to hear it. I've paired you with Dr Keogh today, just to allow you to get your bearings and ease back in gently."
"If that's even possible in this place," Zoe said, putting Lily at ease.
"Thank you, Mrs Beauchamp. I won't let you down.
Zoe felt uneasy about Dylan being paired with Lily. She had guessed her still felt guilty, and could see easily enough that he had been on edge for the last few days, in anticipation of Lily's return. But there was nothing she could do: she was in meetings all morning so couldn't take his place, and Connie was neither aware of the situation nor available to pair with Lily herself.
Lily knew nothing of Dylan's malaise surrounding her return. They were both fairly reserved people, so neither one felt the need to discuss the accident. She wasn't outgoing enough to gush gratefulness, and he wasn't mean enough to snap at her in the same way he had done Ethan. He had apologised for this anyway, and Ethan hadn't thought any more of it, simply that the stress of the situation had gotten to him like it did everyone at one time or another.
The two doctors worked as if nothing had happened between them, which suited them just fine. Lily was appreciative of being paired up at all: the ED was much busier than she remembered it and things moved so quickly. It would take a while for her to catch up, she was sure. After a few hours, and a particularly stressful case in resus, Lily looked stunned. Dylan looked over to her as he removed his gloves and plastic apron and couldn't help himself caring for the young doctor – she had wide eyes and an expression as if it was her first day all over again.
"Go and get something to eat and a cup of tea. Just to, er, clear your head a little for the next one. I'm sure I can cope by myself for twenty minutes," he said, knowing this was what she needed to hear: that she was doing fine but was still his valued and needed partner in crime for the day.
"Thank you, Dr Keogh."
"Don't mention it."
Lily wanted desperately to thank him for more than just the break, but she didn't know how. Those two little words seemed paltry in comparison to what she felt in gratitude to him. She sat in the staffroom with a cup of tea, and looked up quickly when Zoe walked in.
"The first day back is always the worst," Zoe said knowingly. "By the end of the week it'll be like you've never been away." She sat down next the Lily. "How are you doing?"
"Good , I think. I haven't had two seconds to stop and check, up until now!" she said, laughing a little. "Dr Keogh's being nice, to me, which I didn't expect."
"He's feeling very awkward about being paired with you, to tell you the truth. He's already been to ask me if I would swap my morning for his, and he hates meetings with a passion." Lily wrung her hands in her lap until Zoe put her hand over them to stop her.
"It's not you, at least not directly." Lily thought she finally understood, although she felt worse for it. If her guess was correct, then she didn't know what to do, but she wished there was anyone else to work with besides Dylan. He felt guilty about her foot, she'd know it all along. And now, being paired with her, there was no getting away from it. She resolved to be helpful but not overbearing, gentle but not patronising, for the rest of the day.
Dylan had made the same promise to himself that morning, unbeknown to Lily. When she returned from her break he granted her the independence she so obviously wanted back. He left her in triage with some basic, non-life-threatening cases. Ethan watched her from a distance. He saw the doctor she had been before all this happened; she easily fell back into step with Holby ED.
"Lily?" Robyn said, coming around the curtain into the cubicle. "Mrs Beauchamp wants a word with you, if you're free. I can take over here." The shift was more than half over now, so Lily didn't mind. For the first time, she knocked on Connie's door with confidence, her cheeks flushed with pride that her first day back had gone without a hitch (although she didn't want to jinx it now, with three hours to go.)
"Congratulations, Dr Chao. I'm impressed, that was a first day to be proud of," Connie said. "Have you been keeping Dr Keogh in check?" she joked.
"Yes, and vice versa, I'm sure." Lily smiled, feeling relaxed for the first time in a few days.
"You certainly seem happy enough to be back. How would you feel about staying paired up for the rest of the week, until you find your feet and pick up your regular pace?"
"I like that idea very much," Lily replied. "But I think Dr Keogh might prefer it is I was paired with someone else," she added as an afterthought.
"Is there a problem between you?" Connie asked, her face sincere.
"Not at all. I think he might be... feeling a bit, I don't know, maybe a bit guilty... about my foot," Lily said, embarrassed and ashamed that she'd told someone about this.
"I see."
"Please don't tell him I said anything. I might be wrong, and I wouldn't want him to think I was making assumptions," Lily said quickly.
"Don't worry. I'll ensure that tomorrow, you will work with either Dr Hanna or myself. And there's always Dr Hardy at a push," she added, a glint in her eye that Lily had never seen before.
Ethan met lily in reception when the shift was over, as they'd agreed that morning.
"I'm so proud of you for today," he said.
"I'm really not that special, I was just doing my job."
"But you are, and I wish you could see what I see." Ethan had steeled himself for this all day. He pressed his lips to hers, in front of everyone, and to Lily's surprise she didn't feel in the least embarrassed when people started to cheer and clap. When they pulled apart, she whispered in his ear.
"Half of them are only cheering because they want a look at my robot foot. You won't believe the number of times I've been asked to show it off."
"Just do it," Ethan whispered, concealing a laugh. "Who are you, Dr Chao, to deny your adoring crowd what they want to see?" With that, Lily lifted the hem of her her jeans a few inches, amid much laughter and a defiant whoop from Max. She took Ethan's hand to leave, smiling widely.
She noticed Dylan standing just outside the ED and told Ethan she'd meet him in the car.
"Dr Keogh, have you got a moment?" she asked, almost masking the shyness in her voice. Dylan tensed momentarily, then nodded uncertainly. "I just wanted to say, I don't want you to feel guilty about my foot. I'm sorry, deeply, if I've made the wrong assumption, but I'm truly grateful to be standing here right now, back to being a doctor, like I'm supposed to be."
"A doctor, with one foot, which I should have done more to prevent happening," Dylan said bluntly.
"Yes, I have one foot. But if you hadn't done what you did, I probably wouldn't be here at all. You can keep telling yourself you could have done more, God knows it's what I would be doing too, but I want you to know that I am truly, truly grateful to you. By all accounts you pretty much saved my life. Thank you Dr Keogh – Dylan," she corrected.
Dylan knew the gnawing sense of guilt was unlikely to leave him any time soon, but he was glad of clearing the air with Lily.
"You're welcome," he said after a moment. "I don't think this department would ever be the same, if there was a Lily-sized hole in it."
"Maybe it wouldn't and you've only got yourself to thank for that. You couldn't save my foot but who knows -"
"I might have saved it from being taken over by a very talented young doctor. Well done for today, there aren't many people who could have slipped back in like that." There was a long pause.
"I think normal people are supposed to hug in these situations," he said eventually.
"Dylan, we're emergency doctors in one of the busiest hospitals in the country, we're both socially inept and to top it all off, I only have one foot. We're not normal people at all, are we?"
The End.