Chapter 18

The sight Stephane was greeted with surprised and delighted him equally on his return. His wife sat with wide-spread skirts on the thick carpet in the big hall and piled little towers of building bricks with John. She was so engrossed in the play with the little boy that she didn't even notice his arrival. Catherine's features were incredibly soft and a warmth exhaled from her eyes that gave her entire face a radiant glow.
"There you want to put that block? OK. No, wait, that ... oh, now our tower tumbled down again." John's little, red-cheeked face shone with joy and he chuckled happily when the blocks collapsed. "You think that's funny, my angel? Do we want to build a new tower? Yes?" The laughter of the child mingled with that of his grandmother.
John reached for two of the wooden bricks and placed one of them on top of the other, his little tongue hanging out in concentration. Then he handed Catherine another log and climbed on her lap. With a tender smile she lowered her head and placed an affectionate kiss on the boy's blond head. When she looked up again she spotted her husband who stood motionless in the doorway, watching both of them.

"You're back already," she said softly and with delight he noted that the icy frost that so often accompanied her words had disappeared.
"Yeah, have you had dinner yet?" He asked gently as not to disturb the child.
"Ciss!", John shouted excitedly at his sight. He slid down from Catherine's lap and tapped to the chancellor with a cry of joy. Stephane saw the astonished look on his wife's face while she seemed to absorb each of his movement. He smilingly went down to his knees to embosom John in a hug.

During the journey from England to France the little fellow had grown dear to his heart and it seemed as if John felt the same.
"Hello, big boy. How was your day? Did you have a good time with Catherine?" He gave his wife a timid smile, a smile she returned to his amazement.

"Yes, he did. And it's almost time for bed now. Do say good night to Stephane, John." The child buried his face in Narcisse's neck and shook his little blond head. Stephane chuckled.
"Obviously he's looking at it in a diffrent way. Come on my little friend, we are going to build one last tower and then you'll go to sleep." With these words he rose with the child in his arms and came over to Catherine to sit down next to her on the carpet.

Together they erected another tower that John eagerly caused to collapse afterwards. Then Catherine called for the nurse who took the boy to bring him to bed. Narcisse rose again and offered Catherine his hand to give her a leg-up.
"You didn't answer my question. Have you had dinner yet?"
"No, I've been waiting for you." At this revelation he looked at her in astonishment, however he was glad about this little sign of her relenting.
"Why don't you inform the kitchen that they should start preparing dinner and in the meantime I'll change my clothes?" He pointed to his dirty wardrobe and received an approving nod from his wife.

Half an hour later the couple sat down in their dining room, two plates of steamy delicacies their chef had conjured in front of them. Like him Catherine had also changed and was now wearing a beautiful azure dress with a daring neckline and delicate silver embroidery that looked incredibly good on her. His wife was a sight for sore eyes, like always.
"How was your ride?" She asked after a few minutes and eyed one of the meat skewers he had not yet touched. "Are you going to eat this?", she wanted to know and pointed at the object of desire with her fork. With an inviting gesture he pushed his plate towards her.
"Go ahead, whatever's mine is yours." Even before he had finished his sentence she had already swapped the spit from his to her plate. With a single movement she pulled the meat from the skewer and put the first piece into her mouth with a blissful expression. For an inexplicable reason he loved the fact that one could make Catherine happy by feeding her. A fact he had to remember.
"These estates are not only extensive, they are also quite beautiful. I will take you on a nice carriage ride, so I can show you our seigneury. I'm pretty sure you will love the area."
So much for his plan to ignore his wife, he thought. But how should he be able to ignore this beautiful and all of a sudden accessible creature?

"In fact I would actually prefer a horseback ride," Catherine said and put another piece of meat into her mouth.
"You want to go for a ride?" Narcisse could not hide his surprise.
"Why? Is this idea genuinely uncommon?"
"No, not at all but apparently you never stop to amaze me. Okay, let's go for ride tomorrow." He never thought a Catherine de' Medici would prefer a horseback ride over one in a comfortable carriage. But he was looking forward to the prospect of being able to spend time with her this way.
He didn't know what caused her agreeable, he would even say tame behavior, but whatever it was, he welcomed it.

As the mood between them was still relaxed after the dessert has been served, he offered to take her for a short postprandial walk.
"Why not?," she murmured, taking the hand he offered her. Together they left the chateau and peacefully strolled through the gardens.
"There's a small lake on the east side. We should go there with John one day. He will love it. It's the perfect place to romp around, learn to swim or for fishing."
Catherine, her arm still tucked into his, looked up at him under her long lashes.
"It's a bit odd. Although I know you have several grown-up sons, I have never seen you as a father figure."
"Maybe I am full of surprises as well?" Narcisse joked. He led her to the rose garden and suddenly had a feeling of déjà-vu. He darted a look at his wife. Just at this moment a slight shiver captured her body. It had cooled down noticeably. Without thinking he loosened her arm from his and took off his jacket to put it gently over Catherine's slim shoulders. He prefered a little freezing rather than letting this beautiful and almost harmonious walk come to an end. Her low and rather perplexed sounding "thank you" was hardly audible, so he gave her a hopefully charming smile and continued their stroll.

"Whenever I look at John I can't help but wonder about how fast the years go by. We're getting old, Stephane." The deep sight that accompanied her words sounded resigned.
"No, my dear. We are in the prime of our lifes. Maybe we are too old to have a child of our own but we have already done our duty in this respect. Perhaps we should simply foreground the benefits of our life experience and let the less experienced share in our knowledge? And we are certainly not too old for the true pleasures of life."
"Why ever does it always have to come back to this one topic? Sex." Catherine did not even sound upset that he brought up this topic, she merely seemed confused.
"This, ma Belle, is because we are quite good together when it comes to this special kind of physical exercise. And quite honestly, Catherine, there is no reason not to give in to this attraction that's still between us. For no matter what may have happened in the past, in bed we both speak the same language."

He would have liked to pause for a moment just to look at her. Or kiss her to be more precise, but he did not want to jeopardize the fragile peace they have achieved since his return.
"It is not the sex that stands between us but our different expectations, Stephane. The sex has always been good. But we cannot build our marriage on such unstable footing."

And all of a sudden it began to dawn on Narcisse what seems to be Catherine's problem. It was in fact not the physical level of their union that unnerved her. They were actually quite compatible in this perspective. She had an issue with the emerging intimacy he constantly required. Catherine wasn't scared of physical closeness but of emotional intimacy.
Her affectionate interaction with her children and the tender way she did play with John showed him that she was still capable of love. But she did not want to grand men with this kind of concession. Or maybe she couldn't, at least not anymore.
Involuntarily he had to ask himself if her loveless marriage to Henry Valois was partly to blame for her withdrawal. His sordid double game was probably the last straw that made her turn her back on love.

But all this explained her behavior of the last days. To share chambers, to sleep in the same bed or to help undress someone - all this created intimacy. An intimacy she was fighting tooth and nail. In addition he also threatened her independence. Another asset his wife treasured.
There had been a time when she had willingly accepted all kind of intimacy from him. But this time ended with betrayal and sowed distrust between them. She had literally thrown her love at his feet and the both of them had walked all over her bleeding heart.

In principle he shouldn't be surprised at Catherine's attitude. After this eclat things had significantly changed between them. She still welcomed him in her bed, probably to get her revenge by cuckolding his former wife but she had built a fortress around her heart. And he was arrogant enough to believe that she protected and defensed herself with such vehemence because he still possessed some power over her heart.
Intimacy created closeness and too much closeness results in emotions and feelings.

"Are you still trying to grasp the core of my statement or did your male mind already switch off after hearing the word sex?", she mocked him with a smug grin and tore Stephane from his musing.
"Excuse me, my dear. Probably both," he lied for the sake of simplicity and not to complicate the situation any further.
"Men," Catherine muttered and rolled her eyes at him.
"This particular man is now in need of a good wine. Care to join me?", he asked cautiously. Catherine nodded in agreement.

Stephane poured two generous cups of his best red wine and handed one to his wife.
"To untroubled times, Catherine," he raised a toast.
"It's in your hands," she said and took a first sip, looking challenging at him over the rim of her goblet.
"In our hands," he corrected her mildly and for the first time he realized how much he liked the thought that Catherine was now connected to him and they actually had an "our". Now he only needed to find a way to whet his wife's appetite of this new "our". But he had to proceed with more caution and understanding than before. Increase the intimacy in small doses to avoid smothering her. And perhaps occasionally soften her with sweet treats.

When she got up half an hour later to retire to their chambers, he surprised her with a suggestion.
"I need to finish an important document. Why don't you go ahead and I'll be upstairs in half an hour?" He hoped this allowed her enough space to ready herself without feeling harried once again.

And his plan worked. When he entered their room half an hour later he found his wife already lying in bed, a book in her hands. She briefly looked up at him but immediately became engrossed in her book once again while he readied himself for the night.

This time there was no heated discussion and the good-night kiss he stole from her lips was sweet and willingly returned.
All of a sudden a new confidence took hold of him that sooner or later Catherine would get used to his presence in her bed. And then there would be the possibility of sex and tenderness, of that he was convinced now.

Well, brand new topic for you. I just finished my translation and this chapter was fighting back, I can tell you...

at D: I really wanted to search for her soft spots - well - and I love horses. So let's start loosen Catherine up.

at A: Wow, danke dir. Da werde ich glatt rot... Obwohl ich mir nie so sicher bin, ob ich meine Beschreibungen in englischer Sprache zo gut rüber bringe, wie ich es eigentlich möchte. Willkommen auf meinem kleinen Catcisse Schiff!

at Leryn: Well thank you! Some smut will follow very soon, I promise!

at G: well, so much for him trying to ignore her... hihi. But I guess he just has a soft spot for tam and tender Catherine... I hope you liked their togetherness.