Who cried during the previous chapter? Raise you hand!

Thanks for the review from the previous chapter too ;)

38 : JAR OF HEART

Monday morning came faster than anyone expected. Tony, Clint, Bruce and Phil came to the girls as soon as they heard the news from Pepper. Clint vowed he would teach Steve a lesson, but for right now they needed to get Natasha out of bed.

The redhead had been crying herself to sleep, hand gripping tightly to Steve's phone. It was indeed the most heartbreaking thing any of them had ever seen. None of them had ever thought to see Natasha reduced to this state. No one had ever thought Steve would be cruel enough to make her fall in love with him only to break her heart for the sake of winning a bet.

"Nat, come on." Pepper knelt down "You have to go to class"

Natasha just rolled herself over to the other side and mumbled something no one could catch.

"I'm going to kill that fucker" Clint vowed

"WE are going to kill that fucker" Darcy corrected

"Will you two stop" Phil interrupted "We have to help Natasha before we go kick Steve's ass"

"Don't say that name around me ever again" Natasha hissed and pulled the blanket over her head.

"Come on, Tash. Don't let some guy who doesn't care about you ruin your life." Hill spoke up. "Don't throw your education away for this worthless bastard."

Maria's words seemed to be exactly what Natasha needed to hear. She finally got up from her bed. Pepper pushed everyone out of the room to give her some privacy. They waited for Natasha for about half an hour until she stepped out. To everyone's shock her long red hair was gone. She had cut it off to her original short curly haircut.

Steve was trying to avoid leaving his room. He wasn't ready to face the outside world. He was sure that everyone knew by now what he had done to Natasha and would probably wanted to kill him. Steve told Thor that he would not attend any classes today and would meet up with the Linebacker at the stadium.

Fuck! He was heart sick over these whole businesses. He wasn't supposed to feel any of this. Apparently, he did have a heart after all. He couldn't control the feelings racing through him or the millions of thoughts running through his mind, and they were all confusing him.

GOD! Give me some sign that I make the right choice

His damn defensive mechanism was working overtime. His instincts were telling him that he should not fall in love again but he felt guilty for leaving Natasha like that. He broke every promise he had made her, and what's worse he had intentionally hurt her.

He wished he could just disappear and never see her again.

Steve's mind was working on high gear and he couldn't stop it. He felt like his head was about to explode.

He snuck out of his dorm without being noticed and went straight to the stadium. He quickly changed into his football gear before anyone noticed the marks and bruises on his body.

He had hoped football practice would be able to take his mind off Natasha. But thoughts of her plagued him, and he felt ready to go insane. The Captain couldn't focus on the game and got sacked by the defensive line a couple of times.

"Are you alright?" Thor asked as he pulled the Captain up to his feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Steve lied.

The fourth time he got sacked, Fury ordered Steve to hit the shower, afraid to have his best player injured before the play-off even started. Steve wasn't in the right mind to do anything when Natasha haunted his every thought.

Fury spent a good hour yelling at the Captain about his performance. He threatened to suspend the captain on the next game but Steve found he didn't even care.

He and Thor went back to their room as Steve refused to go to the diner because he knew Natasha's friends would be there; probably planning to kill him for hurting Natasha. Steve sank

down on the couch, throwing his head back to rest on the cushion, his eyes squeezed shut, and his face set in a grimace.

"Friend, if it kills you inside, you should go talk to her about it. Even if she will hate you for what you did at least it will take some weight off your shoulders."

"I hurt her, Thor. I promised her I would never hurt her and I did."

"Why did you leave her?"

"I don't know. My instinct kicked in. You know me better than anyone, Thor. I suck at relationships. I panicked, waking up and seeing her naked in bed with me" Steve told Thor honestly "I was so close to saying those three freaking little words to her, and I freaked. I'm afraid of giving another girl the power Peggy had and getting hurt again.

"I'm sure that Lady Natasha would not do such thing to you like Lady Carter did"

Steve signed pushing his head further into the cushion "I should just let her go, Thor" Steve said "She's better off without me."

Steve buried his face in his hands.

"I'm only going to hurt her more than I already have. I will just keep breaking her heart. I'm not good enough for her. I'm not worth enough for her love. I should just let her go."

It had been four days since Steve disappeared on Natasha. She hadn't seen him since their night together. Nobody knew where he was except for Thor and Jane. She wanted to see him and give him his phone back. She wanted to see his face when he realized she had seen everything in his phone. She hoped she has enough strength to face him.

She saw him the following day and it sent her running in the other direction. She ran until she reached her dorm, and locked herself in her room and cried. Pepper dragged her out of her bedroom to eat something and give her an hour lecture.

She tried to be strong, and take Pepper's advice. Her roommate said she should ignore Steve and move on with her life. He was just a dead weight dragging her down.

But being Natasha, she ignored Pepper and went to find Steve at the football stadium. She walked toward the entrance when she saw two football players walking out from it. She hid behind the column when she heard them talking about Steve.

"Something's wrong with him, man. I've never see him like this before." The black hair guy said

"Maybe it has something to do with the last game before playoff" The blonde guy replied

"I don't think so. That game may have been important but it's not like we hadn't already qualified for playoffs."

"I heard Rumlow and Williams talking the other day that it was part of Steve's plan to get that girl"

"Is it the bet that everyone on the team was secretly talking about?"

"Yeah, he said he would get that girl no matter what. He even told everyone that he allow them to have a shot at her after he was done with her"

"You know Rogers' he always get what he wants. He will lie or do anything just to get his target to sleep with him"

"I bet it was Rogers' plan all along to get into that girl's pants. He played her with sympathy sex."

"Yeah, he loves that move"

"Yeah well it's work, every time"

"I really want to know if they fuck yet"

Natasha closed her eyes against the wave of disgust that coursed through her, so that confirmed everything. It seemed everyone on his team knew about the bet. Half of her still wanted to believe in her Stevie. She wanted to believe that her Steve would never do such thing to her, but with all the overwhelming evidence the last little bit of faith she had left in him was demolished like the slamming of a door.

Nat could feel herself begin to shake with anger. She could feel her eyes tear up, and she took a gasping breath in an attempt to control her crying. Clint's words rang in her head "he's a master strategist". He had planned everything ahead of time, he knew her weakness, her secrets and her feelings for him.

And he had used it all against her to get what he wanted from her, the only thing he wanted from her, a quick fuck.

Nat's heart bled, he had only wanted to fuck her.

Steve had had a really bad day. Not only had his art teacher told him he needed to draw a new sketch, but he felt drained of inspiration. Natasha had been his muse, and without her he felt no urge to be artistic.

Football practice had been horrible too. He wasn't in the right mind to do anything. Fury had yelled at him, and threatened suspension effective tomorrow if his performance was not improved.

He found himself lagging behind, and was the last one on the team to leave the stadium.

He was walking to his car when he spotted the last person he wanted to see, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

Natasha Romanoff.

Within the span of three seconds about a million thoughts ran through his mind. What should he say to her? How would she react to him leaving her? Did she hate him? Why was she here?

He was expecting a slap across his face when she stopped in front of him but Natasha surprised him by just simply handing him his phone. He took it but didn't know what to say until he saw her red swollen eyes.

He had made her cry.

Guilt rose in his gut. She was paler than he remembered and looked thinner. He did all of that to her.

"You forget your phone in my room" she said in a hushed tone

He stood in silence and stared at her. She turned and began to walk away. Some part of him wanted to pull her into his arms. But before he could do anything, Nat turned back and spoke up with shaky voice.

"I have one question for you Rogers" she spat at him using his surname for the first time "Was anything you said or did real or was it all an act to get close to me?"

"Natasha, it's not…."

"Did you lie and make me trust you, depend on you, care about you all so you could fuck me?" Now that she had found her voice she couldn't stop. "Was it all just part of your grand plan to bag me?" she spit out acidly

"No, Natasha let me explain"

She raised her hands up to stop him. So he reached his hands out and touched her arms but she jerked away from him as if burned.

"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me again! I trusted you! I told you all of my secrets! And you used them all against me!" She screamed at him "For what?! To get the only thing you wanted from me. TO FUCK ME! You went as low as to make me believe in love again. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!" she screeched

"Natasha, please listen to me. Let me explain." Steve begged more panicked now than ever before

"You are exactly the type of jerk I first thought you were, Rogers. You are such an asshole. And I thought….I actually thought I meant something to you. But I'm just another one of your conquests, just another notch on your bed post to brag to your stupid friends about!"

"It's not like that, Natasha!" Steve implored

"Then what is it?" Natasha bellowed

"I don't want to get hurt again! I always lose someone I care about every time I get too attached to them! My dad, my best friend Bucky, even Peggy! I don't know how to love or how to keep the one I love with me! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"You should stop being so pathetic, Rogers" She said coldly "Stop blaming everyone else and start looking at yourself. Have you ever thought that you didn't work hard enough to keep them around."

"I don't want to lose you the way I lost everyone else, Natasha." Steve reached out to her again, his eyes pleading for her to understand.

But Natasha moved out of his reach, and laughed humorlessly "You know for a person who lies, and manipulates as much as you do, you really suck when it comes to yourself, Rogers." Natasha said and walked away "By the way I hope you won that bet, because you lost me….I don't EVER want to see you again."

Natasha realized that she had made a mistake confronting Steve yesterday. Pepper had been right; she should have just let it go. Her confrontation with Steve had shattered what was left of her heart. The deception and betrayal were beyond anything she had ever experienced. How could she ever be the same again?

She had convinced everyone that he was changing. She had stupidly believed in him and he had turned out to be the biggest liar she'd ever met.

Natasha was curled into a fetal position on her bed, crying. She could still feel his hands roaming all over her body. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his intense blue eyes. She saw the memories of the night they spent together. Steve haunted her, making her cry even without his presence.

She didn't notice her body beginning to develop an aversion to be touched. She didn't notice herself putting a physical distance between herself and her male friends. One day, Tony saw her crying and hugged her. She immediately shoved him off and ran to the bathroom. She vomited the contents of her stomach as the feeling of disgust rose within her.

The same went with Bruce and Phil. Even her closest male confidant Clint Barton was not immune to her reaction. Clint found out the hard way about Natasha's newly developed phobia when he hugged her and she vomited on his shirt.

"I'm sorry, Clint" Nat said when Clint came back after he cleaned himself off.

"What was that all about, Nat?" Clint asked concerned

"Just don't touch me from now on, okay?"

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't like being touched"

"By me?" Clint asked shocked

"By men. Not just you. It makes me feel disgusted, like it was HIM touching me"

"What happened between you and him, Tasha? Can you tell me about it? It will make you feel better if you talk to someone."

Clint sat down next to Natasha but made sure to keep some distance from her. He could see that his best friend was emotionally crushed and was now afraid of being near any man. Nat wrapped a blanket around herself, and curled up into a ball.

"I should have listened to you when you warned me about HIM, Clint" She said "I thought he was changing and I was dead wrong! I mean look what he did to me" Nat inhaled sharply "Everything he did for me. The way he paid all of that attention to me, my birthday surprise, the way he took care of me when I was sick. It was all just a trick."

"Okay so he made you feel like you were the center of his universe. That he was with you, and only with you." Clint added

"Yeah, he made me feel that way, like I was the most important thing to him." Nat tried really hard to choke back her sob "He even gave me this during the winter break." She showed Clint the snowflake charm. "He used his gentle and caring side to break down my walls and make me fall for him."

Nat poured her heart out to Clint and told him everything about the time she and Steve had spent together; leaving Clint burning with anger.

He couldn't wait to get his hands on Steve Rogers, he would teach him a lesson he would never forget.

Steve, Jane and Thor were having their dinner in Steve's room. The quarterback sat quietly throughout the meal and didn't say a word to his two friends.

The loud bang of the door sounded, startling everyone. Clint Barton barged in and pulled the Captain up by his collar before pouring punches to Steve's face. Steve didn't even retaliate and let Clint do whatever he wanted. Thor tried to stop Clint but Steve told him to stay out of this.

Steve knew why Clint was doing this, it was because of Natasha and he felt he deserved it.

Clint unleashed hell on Steve, the echo of fist hitting flesh sounding insistently, until finally Clint stopped, standing over Steve panting. While Steve lay on the ground his face covered in blood.

"Don't ever come near her again!" With that, the loner walked out the room.

Thor helped Steve back onto the couch while Jane went for the first aid kit to tend to Steve's wounded face.

"You should tell them the truth, Steve" Jane said "Tell them everything before things get out of hand again"

"Friend, let me tell them that you called the bet off before you and Lady Natasha were intimate."

"Don't" Steve replied and split blood out of his mouth "I'll get her back myself. Promise me you won't not tell them anything."

"Steve, let us help you…"

"Just help me by looking out for her until I figure out what to do. Keep her out of this self-destruction funk she's been in and promise me you won't tell her anything. It has to come from me. I messed everything up, and I have to be the one to fix it." Steve said with a conviction he hadn't felt in a long time.

AN:

- Special thanks to my dearest friends, sleeplessinbudapest & internetangie! Thank you for always be there for me and encourage me to write.

- Thank you to my proofreaders, chrwrigh.

- Please kindly leave a review. Your review is the best encouragement for me to keep writing this :)