Thank you for all the review from previous chapter. I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting.

I know it's a lot of drama, just don't leave me yet, okay?

39 : LIVING WITH CONSEQUENCE

Everyone agreed to move Nat out of the university. She should stay at someone's house this weekend to avoid Steve. She hadn't been the same since her confrontation with Steve. They decided that Nat should stay at Jane's home because it was far away from campus.

…faraway from Steve.

Since they anticipated she would argue the suggestion they decided to ask her nicely and to their surprise she willing to complied and packed her bag.

Jane and Darcy decided they would take care of Nat this weekend. Jane had half a mind to tell Natasha everything about Steve but from what she saw she didn't think Natasha was in the mind-set to listen. Jane optioned that Natasha would assume that everything she said about Steve was a lie so she kept the truth to herself.

As Jane led Natasha through her humble apartment she quietly said, "It's not the Four Seasons but it's comfortable" as she pushed the door to a small cozy bedroom.

"Thank you, Jane." Natasha responded quietly with a weak smile.

As Natasha settled in, Darcy and Jane animatedly discussed the plans for what the three of them were going to do over the weekend. Natasha watched them blindly, lost in thought, pretending to follow along with their cheerful conversation. But she felt like a zombie, detached from her surroundings, a puppet playing at being a human. She laughed robotically at a joke Darcy said, and faked a smile to keep her friends unaware of her heartache.

All the while the same phrase kept looping around her mind; this must have been how Alexei felt when she left him. Karma had bitten her on the ass.

Back at the university, Steve was trying to find Natasha to no avail. Either no one had seen her, or no one was talking to him about her. He had gone as far as to threaten people with physical pain, but no one was talking. He approached Phil, who just looked at him with disappointed eyes.

"Where is she, Phil?!" Steve growled at his former assistant, as he curled his fists menacingly. "I need to talk to her."

Phil looked at Steve's hands fearfully before meeting his eyes, and saying with an audible gulp "you can beat me to death if you want to Cap but I won't tell you a thing."

Steve just stared at Phil as a muscle ticked in his jaw before turning and stalking away.

Steve knew that Clint and Stark were not options so he didn't bother approaching them, and instead headed to find Banner. But Bruce simply said he didn't know where she was. His last option was to go to the one person he was trying to avoid the most, and the one person he knew would have the answer. So he sighed, and walked toward Natasha's room to talk to her roommate. He stood at the door for a few seconds before yelling into the locked door.

"Pepper! I need to talk!"

"Go the fuck away, Rogers!" Was the shrill response he received through the wood.

"Where's Natasha?! I need to apologize to her. Please Pepper!"

The door swung open and a red faced Pepper appeared. "What in the hell would makes you think that I would tell you anything after what you did to her?!"

"Please, I need to explain things to her. Please Pepper. I have to!" Steve begged openly.

But Pepper was unmoved by Steve's pleading, and mercilessly said, "Just leave her alone, Steve. You had your chance and you blew it. It's over!"

"I will never give up on her, Pepper. I will do anything in my power to get her back." Steve responded with conviction.

"Then I have to tell you, she hates you, Rogers." Pepper said with a sneer. "You're wasting your time, because there is no way she is ever going to listen to any lie that comes out of your mouth." With that Pepper slammed the door in Steve's face.

The Captain walked back to his room, with one singular thought on his mind, he had to find Natasha. As soon as he walked through the door, Thor noticed that his friend was very frustrated.

"What is wrong, my friend?"

"I can't find Natasha. No one knows where she is, and those who do know won't tell me."

Thor sighed audibly before saying, "She's at Jane's home but I do not recommend you to go there."

"Where is Jane's house, Thor?" Steve raised his voice threateningly.

"This is not wise…"

The Captain grabbed Thor's shirt and bellowed, "WHERE IS HER HOUSE?!"

"She is in Brooklyn. I will give you her address but you are only going to hurt yourself."

But Steve ignored his best friend's warning, and hurried out to catch a cab to Jane's house. He stood in front of Jane's apartment assessing the building. He just wanted to see Natasha and talk to her. He could only hope that she was in the mood to listen. He took a deep breath, and rang the bell.

"Who's there?" He had hoped it would be Jane to answer but it was Darcy's voice coming through the intercom.

"It's me, Steve. I'm here to talk to Natasha." He replied. "Please, Darcy. I need to explain things to her."

"Oh hell no, you son of a bitch! You need to fuck off and leave her alone."

"Let me talk to her, Darcy!" Steve desperately yelled through the intercom

"What part of no do you not understand? Here let me explain it to you…..Nooooo!" Darcy screamed into the intercom "Now be a good little fucker and take a hike, Steve!"

"Not until I get to talk to Nat!"

"She doesn't want to talk to you!"

"Please tell her I'm sorry"

"Are you being serious? Like your apology would make up for what you did, you soulless fucking bastard!"

"I know. Please tell her that she has to trust me again. I will make it up to her in every—"

"You broke her heart! You hurt her! Just go to hell, Steve. You don't deserve her!"

"Please…just give me a chance to explain it to her…"

"Go away, Steve. I hate you" Natasha quietly said, "We already talked. Now get the fuck out of here and leave me the hell alone."

Natasha's voice was cold and deadly, she didn't even raise her voice at him but the impact was worse than if she had.

"Natasha, please lis—"

"I trusted you, Steve. I gave you everything because you gave me your promise to never hurt me but you did. You hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me before. And I hate you for that! I hate you for making me believe in you. I don't want to see you ever again."

"Can you just listen to me, Natasha?! Please, if you would just let me explain…."

"Just leave me the hell alone! You already fucked me so stop trying to fuck with me! You got what you wanted! You won! You fucked me! What more do you want from me?"

Steve winced at her harshness but didn't try to make any excuses.

Jane had to disconnect to line before they could hurt each other more than they already had.

"Nat…please...hear me out…please…I lo…" Steve moaned through the door but no one could hear him.

He felt tears run down his face. There was no answer from the other side of the door. He stood there and waited. He had no choice but to wait there until she came out.

After Jane disconnected the line, she and Darcy had to force Natasha back into her room. Darcy stayed with Nat to console her while Jane made sure that Steve would leave them alone. She found Steve standing outside looking lost, and heart broken.

"Steve, please leave." Jane asked nicely.

"I won't do that until she comes out here and talks to me. I can't, Jane."

"She won't listen to you. She's too hurt right now, Steve. I think it's best if you just leave." Jane told him sadly

"Jane I can't give up on her. I just can't. I'll stay here as long as I need to."

"Don't do this, Steve. You're just hurting her, and yourself. I understand how badly you want to clear things up with her but she's not ready to hear it."

"Just let me in so I can talk to her. I know I can make her understand. I just need a chance. Just one chance. Please Jane. Please."

"You have to stop now. She doesn't want you here, Steve. I'm sorry but I can't go against her wishes. You have to respect what she wants." Jane said reasonably.

"I want her back, Jane. I …I need her. I made a mistake and I want to make it up to her. I have to make it up to her."

Jane shook her head sadly but didn't reply. She patted Steve's shoulder lightly before going back inside her home.

Despite Darcy's best efforts to console Natasha, the redhead hadn't stopped crying. She had simply buried her face in a pillow, and wept uncontrollably. Hearing Steve's voice had made her feel weak and helpless again. She didn't understand the power he had over her. He shouldn't have this much effect on her, she told herself.

How would she ever recover from this if he kept following her around like this? All she wanted was for him to leave her alone so they both could start a new life without each other. So they could just both move on.

Why does he even care to apologize or to explain anything to her when she was just meaningless sex to him?

She didn't want to consider the thought that he actually cared about her. He was a womanizer, and a liar. There was nothing special about her that would change him. She had already believed that once before with him. He had made her feel importance once before. No, she thought to herself, never again.

Besides he never actually said those three words to her. She took the blame for never making it clear by asking him outright if he loved her. She had never asked him directly how he felt or made him define their relationship. She shook her head at her own stupidity. She had just made assumptions, and for that she couldn't blame him.

How could she have made such a mistake? Every time she looked at the snowflake charm he gave her, she felt her heart painfully squeezed but she couldn't take it off. It was a warning of her mistake, a reminder to never make that mistake again.

"Sweetheart, you need to get some sleep." Jane said as she entered the room and found Nat sitting next to the window, staring aimlessly outside.

"I can't, Jane."

"Don't do this to yourself, Tasha." Darcy said.

"Is he still outside?"

"Tasha…"

"I can feel he's still here."

"He says he won't leave until you listen to him."

"I don't know if I can talk to him again.I feel like if I do I won't have anything left inside me." Natasha said, voice shaking "I'm afraid that it will turn out to be just another lie"

"Just think about it, Tasha. Why would he bother coming here to talk if you didn't mean something to him." Jane tried to reason.

Natasha shook her head, she didn't want to hear it, didn't want to confuse herself anymore but Jane did have a point.

Is there a chance that Steve really cared about her?

The more she thought about it the more she felt like her head was about to burst. Both of her friends noticed that and helped carry Natasha back to her bed.

"Please rest, Natasha. You're going to make yourself sick." Jane urged and this time, the redhead did as she said.

They made sure that Natasha completely fell asleep before turning off the light and leaving the room.

Steve waited outside of Jane's house all night, even when the temperature turned to freezing he didn't back down. He had to prove his point. He had to show Natasha that he really cared for her. He had to show her that he was willing to do anything for her.

It was a rough night for everyone. Jane and Darcy were checking up on both Steve and Natasha all night to make sure that they were doing okay. When the temperature dropped Jane's concern was that Steve would freeze to death. She brought out a blanket while he slept and checked his vitals. Natasha hadn't had an easy night either. She occasionally woke up, covered in sweat and crying.

Even when dawn broke, he was still waiting right there. Jane wanted to bring him some breakfast but Darcy stopped her.

"He doesn't deserve to have my delicious pancakes."

"Darcy have some compassion. He is probably starving. He will not leave to eat breakfast. After the night he had he deserves at least the humanity of a meal."

"Let him suffer. He deserves a million time worse than this, Jane. Look at what he did to Nat."

Jane decided to connect the intercom back. Steve jumped on his feet when he heard the sound from the intercom, hoping it was Nat.

"Steve, you should find yourself something to eat." Jane said.

"Please let me see her. Please." He begged

"You know I cannot do that."

"How is she doing?"

"Not good. I think you should leave her alone for now at least, Steve. She will recover faster if you give her some space."

"I cannot let her go, Jane. I need her. I know I messed up but all I want is to make it up to her, and show her how truly sorry I am."

"Steve, I hate to say this but she doesn't want you back. I don't think that will change unless you let me and Thor tell her the truth."

Steve signed heavily into the intercom. "No, Jane. It has to come from me, and besides she'll just think it's a lie. I have to prove to her that I am worthy of her."

Jane tried her best to keep them both stable for another day. She was getting increasingly worried their physical wellbeing. This mini-vacation from campus had been meant to be peaceful and quiet but now with Steve mourning at the door, pleading for Natasha to listen to him it had turned into a disaster. Natasha only took one bite of her breakfast before quickly running to the bathroom and vomiting.

Darcy decided to call Pepper to pick Natasha up and move her back to her dorm. Tony drove his car into the back alley where Natasha and Darcy came down from the fire escape. Jane came to the front of her house and found Steve lying in front of her door, shaking and very pale. He was barely conscious from lack of sleep, and malnutrition. He hadn't eaten anything since yesterday.

"Steve! Wake up!" Jane shook Steve to wake him up.

"Nat…I'm sorry." He murmured.

Jane couldn't help Steve get up so she called Thor for help. The Linebacker made it to her apartment in a record time and with his help they got Steve into the bed. Jane changed her friend's clothes and tucked Steve into bed with as many blankets as Thor could find to keep him warm.

"Nat…I'm sorry…Please…take me back." Steve mumbled.

Jane kept a close eye on Steve and then she saw something odd that she never seen before. It supposed to be a golden heart pendant on his necklace but instead, it was a platinum snowflake the same as Natasha.

Jane knew right then that whatever bond between Steve and Natasha was stronger than she had initially thought. She understood now why Natasha felt so betrayed, and why Steve was willing to starve himself for her. At this point, Jane was sure that Steve was willing to kneel in front of Natasha and beg at her feet for forgiveness.

Whatever bond was between them was real.

It was now a week after everything went straight to hell for both Steve and Natasha. They both were in the worse sharp either had ever been. Steve was suspended from the next football game because he couldn't seem to get his head in the game without Natasha by his side.

Natasha lived like she was the walking dead. Steve was trying very hard to get near her. Clint would beat him up every time he saw Steve in front of Natasha's door. And Natasha herself would shot Steve down every time he came near her. Steve began drinking so heavily that Thor and Jane had to take him back to his room for two night straight now.

This night was no different. Steve was sitting on a stool at the bar and pouring his heart out to Skye and Ward.

"I shouldn't left her" He mourned "It was the biggest mistake of my life."

"People have started to notice that you are not by Natasha's side anymore. There has been talk, man. For a while there you two were inseparable." Ward told Steve

"Ward, spit it out. I cannot follow you when my brain is drowning in…" Steve looked at the shot glass he held before mourning "Drowning in…in…her favorite vodka"

"Steve! Listen to me. People have been gossiping that you already fucked her and left her. Now everyone has been saying pretty disrespectful things about her."

"What have they been calling her, Ward?" Steve's voice was now low and dangerous.

"You don't need to know, man."

"WHAT HAVE THEY SAID ABOUT HER?" Steve bellowed.

Everyone in the bar turned to look at them and saw the drunk Captain, standing. Skye and Ward had to calm him down.

"It's alright, everyone. Get back to drinking." Ward told everyone.

"Tell me, Ward."

"They call her 'Steve's little bitch'. Trust me I work in the bar. I hear everything."

The shot glass Steve had been holding shattered in an explosion of sharp debris, blood dripping from his hand went unfelt as his anger manifested.

"I'm the one who did this to her. Fuck! This is my fault!"

"Dude, you're drunk as shit. Calm down, man." Skye said.

Before they could do anything, Thor and Jane walked into the bar.

"We will take care of him, Ward." Thor said "In the future please call me if he gets this drunk."

Ward nodded and helped Thor carry Steve out to his car.

The gossip was spreading across the campus like wild fire. Natasha took the brunt of the shame as people stared at her, some of them laughing, some of them blatantly making fun of her.

It seemed that people loved to see her fall from grace. People who had once been jealous of her hallowed position at Steve's side took extra glee from watching her being labeled a meaningless conquest.

"I guess everyone knows that I slept with him." Natasha bitterly said to Pepper who walked next to her.

"They are gossiping, sweetheart. People always gossip when they don't know the truth"

"But gossip has to start somewhere, and it's usually from someone who knows some truth."

"Nat, you don't have to listen to them. You're only going to hurt yourself."

It did hurt her. The smug look on Sharon Carter's face was a whole new level of hurt. Sharon and her friends took sadistic pleasure in making fun of her and giving her disrespectful once overs as Natasha walked past them.

They had a good laugh that she turned out to be one of his toys.

Steve too was now facing the consequences of his actions. His friends were now at his neck to force him to fulfill his end of the deal.

"Is there anything you want to tell us, Steve?" Brock barged into the locker room where Steve was sitting sadly on the bench.

"What do you want from me, Brock?"

"You forget to mention that you already banged her, Rogers!" Jack yelled.

"You fucked her and you left her" Frank continued.

"Took you long enough to bag her" Brock said. "Almost five month to get in her pants. You're getting soft"

"I guess you are done with her" Simon replied.

"Yeah, I'm done with her but please don't do anything to her. She is not that kind of woman"

"You don't get a say in this, Steve. We had a deal"

"But—"

"Stay out of this. It's our turn to have some fun with her"

They all walked away from him and Steve was now quickly gathering everything into his bag before calling one of his friends.

"Jane, I need to talk you" Steve quickly said, "Bring Darcy too. I need your help"

Steve hurried to the rooftop of the dorm. Jane was there alone.

"Sorry, Darcy doesn't want to see you."

"It's okay. Your help is enough."

"What do you need me for?"

"Look out for Natasha for me. My football friends are going to try to get close to her. They will do anything to get her in their bed. Call me if anything happens. If they harass her, the least I can do is be there to stop them."

"I will."

"Thank you, Jane."

Jane nodded. The two of them went back to their own rooms. Steve found his close football friends were there. Thor, Sam, Luke and Danny were sitting in his living room waiting for him.

"I need all of you to stay close to Natasha. Keep a close watch. If Rumlow and his goons go near her, keep her away from them."

"We will." Thor ensured.

"It's going to cause you guys problems getting involved." Steve warned

"We're well aware of that." Danny told. "It's probably going to end up getting physical."

"You all have mine and Thor's protection. If my power balance is still in check." Steve said "You have my word"

Natasha woke up and found the world spinning at her feet when she got up from bed. She slowly walked into the living room where Pepper was making breakfast. Tony was lounging on the couch, watching Game of Thrones.

Nat was about to sit down next to Tony when the smell of Tony's cologne hit her nose, sending her running to the bathroom to vomit.

"Are you alright, Nat?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, just a little dizzy and your cologne stinks."

"Aww, it is Yves Saint."

"Just stay away from me."

Tony retreated back to the couch when Natasha started puking again. A horrible thought suddenly hit the redhead sending her running to her room to check her calendar.

"No, no, no" She cried when realization struck her. "No, no, no, no."

She got up and grabbed her purse before running out the door. Tony and Pepper watched confused but didn't say anything. They could see a trail of tears on her face as she dashed out but decided to wait until she got back to talk to her.

Half an hour later, Natasha returned and locked herself in the bathroom. Pepper began to worry and leaned close to the door to hear what was going on on the other side. The redhead had been in there for 20 minutes now and Pepper could hear sobs from behind the door. Beyond worried by this point, she opened the door to find Natasha sitting on the floor, her face buried in her knees as she cried.

"Natasha, what's wrong?" Pepper asked, kneeling down in front of her.

Natasha refused to say and shook her head adamantly. Tony stood at the doorway and looked at the girls.

"Tell us what's wrong, Natasha. You have to talk to us."

"Pepper…" Nat sobbed revealing a plastic stick to Pepper.

Pepper looked at it and gasped in shock when she saw the plus sign on the stick.

"You're pregnant?"

AN:

- Special thanks to my dearest friends, sleeplessinbudapest & internetangie!

- Thank you to my proofreaders, chrwrigh.

- Please kindly leave a review. Your review is the best encouragement for me to keep writing this :)