Chapter 2-Dead Ends

"You got it Stinson?"

"Yeah." Barney hadn't caught a bit of what his coworker was saying. He was entirely preoccupied with the developments of the evening before. 'It is a good thing that my office has a surveillance system,' he thinks, that way, he can catch up on his work later.

He starts to write down everything that he can think of that has been out of the ordinary lately. First and most obvious to him is Robin's nausea over the past week or two. He isn't sure how many times her "food poisoning" has come up, because she hasn't told him about it. Second, is that she is tired all of the time. 'These two symptoms are so common,' he tells himself to avoid disappointment, because there wasn't much that he could do to find out about what was causing them. For all he knew they weren't even related. He tried typing them in a symptom checker he found online, and the results seemed like they included every single disease known to mankind. 'Well, so much for that,' he thinks. He knows that he needs to come up with more symptoms if he is going to figure it what is wrong with her. The worst part was that he hadn't really noticed anything out of the ordinary besides them.

"Come on, Barney, THINK!" he exclaims to motivate his brain to come up with anything. It is a good thing his secretary has the day off, or she might have broken down the office door to check on him. He thinks that maybe he should start with the beginning of her day and work from there. He thinks back immediately to this morning.

Barney's alarm went off at 6:15 am as usual. What wasn't usual was that Robin was out of bed and already in the bathroom. It wasn't long before she was walking across the bedroom to climb back into bed for their typical morning wake up sex. After the night that she had, he wanted to be sure that she was well enough for sex.

"Morning," he muttered as he smiled at her. "We don't have to do anything this morning, you know that right?" Of course he wanted sex, but he also wanted her to feel the best that she could.

"I know. I still want to. I actually feel pretty good today, you know. I still don't know what was up with me last night. Anyway, you know I just start my day off wrong without you."

"Robin, answer me honestly. Are you sure you are ok? If you aren't feeling sick anymore, why were you in the bathroom just now?"

"Barney, I know you're worried. I'm fine." He knew that Robin only said that when she wasn't fine. "I just had to pee that's all. This is the sixth morning this week that I had to pee so bad I woke up early. I am starting to feel like Lily."

"Alright. Then come here, so we can start our morning off right."

"Huh," Barney thinks as he looks back on it now. 'She mentioned having to pee all the time. I guess that would count as a symptom.' He adds it to his list, and to the symptom checker website that he is using. He still gets nothing.

All of a sudden, there is a knock at the door. He looks up from his desk and there standing in his office doorway is the beautiful woman in the flesh. He had been so preoccupied that he had completely forgotten that it is time for their weekly lunch date, let alone that it is anywhere near lunch time.

"Hey there," he says to her, giving her that seductive smile that she always enjoys, and always gets her in the mood to do something in his office bathroom. He knows that he could definitely be up for a little something, something right about now.

"No, no, none of that right now. I am way too hungry to do anything but eat," she chides like she is kind of pissed at him for even suggesting it, which is completely unlike the Robin Scherbatsky he knows.

"Aww. Alright," he replies. He wants her to know that he is bummed about their lack of pre-lunch nookie. Their lunch dates always start off with sex in the bathroom. Now that he thinks about it, this is the second week that this has happened. She said she was really hungry last week too.

He quickly goes back to his computer to make a note about her sudden hunger while asking, "So where do you want to go for lunch?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you that I don't want to go to the sushi place we went to last week." He walks to the door to join her, and they walk out of his office and towards the elevators.

"Really? You love that place."

"Yeah, I know. I normally do, but just thinking about that place is making me want to hurl."

They have just gotten in the elevator by themselves when he asks her. "Is this because of the food poisoning? Is that where you got it from?"

"Nah, I just am so not in the mood for sushi. How about one of those amazing burgers? You know, the one that we followed Marshall around the city for that one night? I would kill for one of those right now. I have been thinking of one since this morning, maybe even since last night. You have no idea how hungry I am right now."

"Ok, Scherbatsky. I am good for that. Just don't literally kill anyone on the way."

"Yeah, yeah."

'Mental note: also starving, having cravings and aversions to food. I must remember to add that to the list when I get back.' He leads her out of the lobby and onto the street to get her the best burger in New York.