Chapter 3- Even more Symptoms

The cab ride on the return from lunch is surprising for Barney, to say the least. From the minute he and Robin exit the restaurant, she is all over him. As soon as the door is closed and the cabbie has his work address, she straddles him. He would have expected this on a day where they didn't get their pre-work sex in, but today they did. Not that he is complaining about that. He isn't going to deny that the loves the exhibitionist side of her, but it was a long time since she had wanted to give a cabbie an eyeful, and especially not during the day.

"Looks like someone wants a little bit of dessert," Barney cajoles her.

"Shut up Barney, you know you want me." She immediately smashes her lips into his while grinding down into him. Barney knows he is going to have to turn her down. After all, it is only a 10 minute ride. Having sex now would only leave enough time for a quickie, not to mention this cab isn't the cleanest of cabs. Besides, there would be a lot more reward for both of them if they could get into his office. Turning her down isn't going to be easy though. He breaks off the passionate kiss.

"We could wait until we get back until we get back to my office."

"You of all people are turning this down." She looks at him angrily. I guess he didn't realize just how horny she is.

"No, I am not turning you down," he says to her, while he brushes his fingers slowly up her thigh. "It is only a 10 minute cab ride. I think it is more important for us to do this right, than try for as quick a time as possible in this cab." He then whispers into her ear, "plus my office is much cleaner than this cab."

He can tell that she is extremely disappointed. She really wants him right now. It is hard for him to believe that after two years of being together, she still wants him this much, and he wants her all the same.

"You're an idiot, Barney."

"I love you too Robin." She slides off of his lap, but that doesn't mean that he has to stop touching her. He grazes her thigh with his fingers in the remaining few minutes of their journey.

Now that they are back in his office, he knows that things are going to get crazy. Ironically, he finds himself thanking Ted right now, for being the architect that designed this building. Ted managed to create an office for him that is completely private and perfect for these afternoon getaways. He doesn't have to worry about the glass door anymore. He still has his couch, a larger private bathroom, and great deal of windows, but most importantly, he could close all of those windows off to the rest of the building and lock the door. With the way Robin was acting earlier, his first order of business when they arrived is to activate those blinds. By the time the blinds are closed, she is lounging on his desk in just the slutty lingerie that he imagines she put on this morning with him in mind.

"Wow," he utters. He can feel himself rearing to go at the mere sight of her, yet he can't help but stare at her. They have been married for over a year now, and she is still the most beautiful woman that he could have ever imagined. Every curve is just perfect on her and she is a sex goddess. There are times he can't even keep up with her, and this is one of those times for sure. Even her perky breasts are exactly what he always wanted, just the right size, despite the fact that the gang always thought he liked the biggest boobs imaginable.

Today is killer for him though. The way her breasts are spilling out of her bra makes it too much to handle him to handle. He is sure that they never looked quite like that before, almost like they are growing. He thinks it must be a new bra. He walks over to her and plants a passionate kiss on her lips while he strokes his hand up her thigh to reach the place that makes her moan. He touches the silk of her panties lightly.

"Is that a new bra?" he asks before he moves his lips to her neck all while continuing to touch her.

"No, it's old," she pants trying desperately to catch her breath and not scream at the top of her lungs from want. "Why?"

"I just don't remember you looking quite this hot in a bra. It's like boobs everywhere. It makes me want you so much right now."

She reaches out to him to remove his jacket, and unbuttons his shirt so fast that in her haste she rips two of buttons off. It is one of his favorite shirts too, but there is no time to mourn. She is ready for him and she just looks so hot, but he can't help but want to touch. He reaches around to unhook her bra, and she sighs with relief. He extends his hands to touch her breasts, while gently thumbing her nipples. She flinches away in pain.

"Please don't do that," she hisses. "You know I normally like that a lot, but it hurts today." She gasps for air. "For some reason."

"Ok..." he pants unsurely. 'I wonder if that is something too.' He files the comment in his head for later, and gets to the task at hand, enjoying his extremely horny wife.

Now that he is sitting back at his desk, with Robin long gone but her smell still lingering, he tries to remember all of the clues he gathered throughout their lunch date. He looks at the list he already has. Nausea, fatigue, frequent urination...

He adds to his list. Food aversions, food cravings, hunger, tender and swollen breasts...

'Five,' he thinks. He somehow managed to find 5 symptoms over lunch. He makes the additions in the symptom checker, but unfortunately it is still of no help. None of the diagnoses that appear make sense. Urinary tract infection, PMS, Diabetes, acute stress reaction. "No sense at all," escapes his lips.

He thinks about going to Lily about all of this, but something tells him that Robin would just be upset with that. He realizes that maybe he should just type the list into Google to see what happens. In just a few clicks, the results make him stop dead in his tracks.

"Oh my God, Robin's pregnant."