Chapter 29

Stephane Narcisse didn't know what hurt him more. His own stupidity for confusing Catherine's all-too-quick relenting and the elusive harmony they've experienced the last few days with love or the realization that having sex with him seemed like nothing more than a means to an end for her.
Yes, in a legal sense he had all rights to her body, rights he had unequivocally acquired the moment he'd married her, but the fact that she would go as far as prostituting herself for him in the truest sense of the word caused nausea to rise in his stomach. He knew that Catherine did not recoil from any extreme and had a tendency to let herself be carried away by her immoral and daring actions but her previous offer just shocked him beyond all measure.

His former self might have even been tempted to accept her offer. If only because he wanted to see if Catherine would carry matters to the limit. But he couldn't. As much as he hated to admit it, he had changed over the last couple of weeks. She had changed him. The love he felt for his wife had softened him.

Feeling shocked, he poured himself a large glass of whiskey and emptied it in one draught. Another glass followed. Shortly thereafter Stephane dropped himself in one of the lounge chairs and buried his face in his hands in frustration.
How could he have been so stupid to let himself be guided purely by his feelings for this woman? Feelings he'd tried so hard to suppress for ages that only surfaced in a fearful moment full of terror.

He had manoeuvred himself into a vulnerable and attackable position and now he was seriously surprised that Catherine de' Medici was trying to exploit this weakness for her own purposes? How foolish he was!
But did she really think that it was mainly his libido who mastered his actions? And above all did Cathrine think he had so little respect for her that he would seriously engage in something that caused her discomfort? What kind of man did she think he was?

The longer he thought about it, the more angry he got. But his anger was mostly directed at himself.
He knew Catherine and how her brilliant mind worked and truth be told - the way he had treated and exploited her in the past was probably one of the reasons she came up with the whole idea of offering her body and sexual services as a means of payment in the first place.
He as well as her late husband had very clearly shown her that women were just objects to men. Objects placed at their disposal to satisfy their sexual hunger.

Catherine and the love she had probably felt for Henry in the early years of their marriage had been terribly mistreated by the King of France.
And he hadn't treated her any better. No wonder her love belonged exclusively to her children now. For them she would do everything, including selling her own body.

"Oh, Catherine," he murmured desperately.
The realization of what he had to do now hurt more than the slap in the face she had given him. He had to distance himself, keep his hands off of her and stay aloof.
He didn't care that church and Crown granted him every right to claim his wife, no matter whether she liked it or not. He simply wouldn't.

Since Catherine had quite impressively proved today that her motivations remained a riddle wrapped up in an enigma, he would not touch her for the time being. No matter how much he longed for her and her tempting little body. Because he only wanted to have sex with women who did participate voluntarily. Not to mention making love with his wife and the woman he loved.
And as long as she did not seek his nearness and touch herself, she was taboo for him.

The Lord Chancellor rose to pour himself another glass of whiskey. Just when he put it to his lips he registered a movement at the doorframe. For a millisecond he expected to see his wife who went down as well, looking for him.
But the figure looming in the dark was Rafael who first looked questioning at his brother, then at the alcohol in his hand and in the end at Stephane's bare feet.
"I know it's none of my business, but..."
"Damn right, it isn't!" Stephane interrupted the younger man.
"Don't take it out on me, brother. I'm not to blame for the domestic crisis you're facing with Catherine right now."
Rafael stepped next to Stephane and poured himself a glass whiskey as well. "Don't give me that look. You'd have to be deaf to miss out your heated argument", Rafael explained unasked and briefly raised his glass to a toast before he took a sip. "Oh, that's really good."

"Scottish whiskey. A wedding gift from the Queen of Scots. Finally I seem to understand the meaning behind it. From today's perspective she should have sent a full barrel instead of just one single bottle" Stephane mused while looking extensively at the amber liquid before washing it down in one gulp.
"I thought you and Queen Mary do not get along with each other?"
"We don't. That's why Catherine got a enormous chest full of wedding gifts and I just got this bottle of whiskey with the instruction to use it wisely."

Rafael laughed and actually discovered Mary's comment on the body of the bottle.
"At least she has a great sense of humor. Just like your wife. But I suppose you don't feel like laughing right now?"
"No, I'm more in the mood to kill someone. Slowly and as painful as possible."
His brother raised his hands in defense, then he circled the escritoire and dropped himself onto the same chair Narcisse had been sitting on just a minute before.
"What is it you did?"
"Why do you assume it's me who did something wrong?" Stephane shot back indignantly and took the second chair. He placed the bottle between them.
"Just a hunch."
"Whatever. I'm still trying to figure her out but obviously I seem to keep on failing. Most of the time I don't even know if I want to kiss or strangle her."

Rafael shook his head, a mild smile on his lips.
"Catherine de 'Medici is not a wife for beginners. But you are well experienced. Although it would be interesting to know why that hell of a woman decided to marry you of all things."
Stephane, who had been expecting this question since his brother's arrival, sighed heavily and confessed. "She had no other choice. And that is just one of the many problems we are constantly facing. Two others are her stubbornness and my very own stupidity, since I've previously entertained a dirty little affair with her. An affair that ended the worst possible way. I have to be honest with you: In my entire live I've never met a woman like her before. She is smart, ruthless, cunning, incredibly strong-minded. And on the other hand she can be sensitive, gentle and loyale as hell. This woman is provoking things in me that scare me to death. In a positive as well in a negative sense."

"So you're telling me you've finally found your female counterpart?! All things considered I would say the benefits of this marriage predominate. You have feelings for her, big brother. Real feelings that go beyond lust or possessiveness. I've seen the looks you throw her way when you think no one's looking, Stephane." That high degree of passion of Rafael's little speech surprised his older brother.
"Do not remind me of these damned feelings. You have no idea how much I'm cursing them right now. Catherine only knows one kind of love. The one she feels for her family, for her children. Men, on the other hand, are only means to an end, nothing more than an unavoidable evil or to satisfy her sexual desire with."

"That's nonsense. She likes you. There is real affection in her eyes when she looks at you. And you must not forget - this marriage makes you a member of her family."
"Not in her eyes," Stephane muttered.
"Of course, brother. She even counts me in and has allowed me to stay for that reason alone, despite my faux-pas. I'm sure you two will overcome these obstacles. Whom loves passionately, also argues passionately. Give her some time to cool off and enjoy the great fortune of being able to call such a passionate and spirited woman yours. There are men who envy you", Rafael said and Stephane wondered if he was talking about himself.

Narcisse pointed at the bottle, but his brother waved it off. "You need it more than I do. Good night." With these words the younger man said goodbye and left Stephane alone with his whiskey and his rotating thoughts.
It was only after midnight when the man of the house retired to one of the vacant rooms where he intended to stay for the time being. The temptation to continue sharing a room with Catherine was great but after what happened this evening he had to act with caution.

Well now, here we go with another chapter. What do you think?
Now we are at a point where I have to decide how to proceed or let's say how long I still want to built this thing up... I think I have an idea - we'll see if I can work it all out.

OMG guys, there are already 29 chapters now. I would never have guessed that this little idea "let's marry her off" would grow into this huge fanfic-monster.
And I'm so glad that you're still on board.

Many many thanks to all of you!