Chapter 5- What did I do wrong?

Barney stands staring at the door for a few seconds after Robin storms out. He doesn't know what to think about all of this. She just left. She screamed at him and ran out. He was so certain that she is pregnant. Almost one hundred percent certain. Why would she do that? There is something he is missing. What is he missing?

He knows that the next thing he needs to do is call Lily. He needs a female opinion, and while Lily isn't good with secrets, she has always given him good advice on Robin in the past. Besides, she has seen some of the things that have been going on with Robin these past few weeks. Maybe Robin even told her what is going on. Barney takes his phone out of his pocket and dials.

"Lily, I need your help."

"What's up Barney?" Lily asks hurriedly . She even seems a bit tense.

"Can you come over here for a few minutes?" Barney asks, trying to hold back his exasperation. The last thing that he needs to do was make her mad too.

"Uhh, sure Barney." Lily can tell that something is up with Barney. He never calls her out of the blue like this. "I am in the middle of giving Marvin a bath, so it's going to be a while."

"Can you have Marshall do it? I really need you right now." Barney pleads hoping it will work and make Lily come over immediately.

"Uhh, yeah. I will be over as soon as I can."

"Thanks Lil."

Twenty three minutes later, Barney hears a knock on the door.

"Come in," Barney mutters just barely loud enough for Lily to hear. She enters the apartment to find Barney crying with his knees pulled up to his chest. His blatant disregard for his suit shocks her.

"Oh god, Barney, what happened?" Lily questions, sounding intensely concerned. Now that she is here, she is deeply worried. She scans the room and notices the candles blown out, the roses on the kitchen counter and the wrapping paper on the coffee table.

"Robin stormed out," he sobs. He still doesn't believe that she is this upset about all of this.

"What did you do?" Lily asks with her 'where's the poop' voice. He kind of wishes now that he never called Lily. She instantly blames him for everything. Why? It isn't like he did anything wrong here. Robin is the one that stormed out. He just knows that he will be blamed for this. Lily has a way of making him feel like one of her former kindergarteners, and there is nothing he hates more than being reduced to a child. Maybe he should have called Ted. Ted does know a lot about Robin, but he probably would have gotten a lecture from him too. Ted always gave him "dad" lectures.

"I had this whole romantic night planned, and then I gave her a gift and she threw it down and walked out," Barney says being able to hold back the sobs a bit.

"What was the gift Barney?" He knows that he is going to have to be honest with her if he wants help dealing with this. He doesn't want to be honest. It is just going to make Lily more upset with him. He isn't quite sure if he is ready yet, either. How would Robin feel if he shared this secret? Maybe there is a reason she hadn't talked to him about the whole thing. He really didn't want to make her anymore angry with him than she already was.

"I..I..I..." Barney stutters not wanting to reveal it just yet. There was too much at stake.

"Barney?" It occurs to him, though, that maybe Lily really can help him. He looks down at the table.

"It was this," he mumbles as he hands her the onesie.

"BARNEY!" Lily screams with shock and anger. He sinks back in fear. It is almost as if she is giving him her 'dead to me' look.

"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING AT ME?" his childlike voice emerges. She really can turn him into a child whenever she wants.

Lily gives Barney a few moments to recover. She really didn't need to yell at him that way. Maybe he really has no idea why this would make Robin upset. Did Robin ever tell him? 'Maybe this really isn't his fault,' she thinks.

"Why did you give this to her?" Lily questions, trying to let him reveal this in his own time. He needs to work out his feelings, because whatever happened here, hurt him more than she originally thought.

"I..I.. don't know. I guess it wasn't a good idea." He mumbles again. She tries to pry harder. She knows prying is now necessary if she wants the whole story. She needs the whole story.

"No, not really, Barney. I will ask you again. Why did you give this to her? The whole story. You want my help, you need to tell me."

"Fine. You know how she has been coming home late from work because she is so tired she can't get her work done? And how she has been sick lately?" Lily nods in agreement. She noticed something has been off with Robin lately. Maybe Barney knows something and confronted her about it. It still doesn't explain the onesie. "Well, I decided that I was going to figure out what was wrong with her, and... and she's pregnant."

"Ohh." Lily lets out quietly. "Ohhhhh," she says with an air of realization. He really has no idea about Robin's infertility. "And this is how you decided to tell her that you knew."

"Yes, and now I've royally screwed things up. She told me she wasn't. She was so upset. Why did I do this? WHY?" Barney is very distraught at this point. He really wishes he could go back in time and never look any of this up. All it really got him today was a whole bunch of heartache. It sometimes seems that his whole life has been heartache, well, except for Robin, of course.

"Barney, can I ask you a question?" Lily says tentatively. She knows that asking this question is like venturing out onto thin ice. "What makes you think that Robin is pregnant? I mean she said it was food poisoning, why didn't you believe her?"

"It is just a mix of everything. She's moody, she's been so tired, she's craving these weird foods. I mean she turned down sushi today. Sushi, Lily! When has Robin ever turned down sushi? For a hamburger, of all things." Barney rambles so fast, like he used to when he was telling the story of a bimbo that didn't believe one of his stories.

"Barney." Lily says quietly, trying to get Barney to stop. She can't bear to see him keep going like this.

"I mean, come on. Not to mention she is always saying she has to pee. It's like I'm living with you again." He adds more forcefully to the conversation.

"Barney," she tries again, a little louder and more forceful this time.

By this time, Barney is full out screaming. "And she wouldn't even let me touch her boobs today. She said they hurt. That NEVER happens Lily, NEVER! She always lets me touch her boobs. ALWAYS!"

Lily looks at him pensively, like she is considering his evidence. Robin can't be pregnant. Lily knows this. She would believe him if she didn't know about Robin's fertility issues. If it were Tracy having these symptoms, she would be breaking her maternity clothes out of storage to lend her. But she knows it is impossible for Robin to be pregnant. She can't believe that Robin never told him about all of this. She figured they talked about it. She had no clue that Barney was in the dark about this.

Lily decides she needs to let Barney down easy. She thinks back to that Thanksgiving that he and Ted tried to adopt a baby. She realizes that he really does want to be a dad.

"Barney, that last part about the boobs really wasn't necessary, but I don't think Robin is pregnant." She stops to let the information sink in. She takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean? She has all the symptoms!" He yells back at her.

She tries to figure out what to tell him. She obviously can't tell him. It isn't her place to tell him. Why Robin didn't alludes her, but it is Robin's secret to tell. She learned before that she needs to stay out of their personal lives. They are adults. She timidly collects her thoughts and gives him the best piece of advice that she can think of. "Barney. Just be careful with all of this ok. I think there is more to this than Robin is telling you. You really need to talk to her about this. Without having expectations."

Barney looks at her, puzzled. He was afraid she was going to say something like that.

"What do you mean?"

"Barney. You need to talk to her whenever she decides to come back. That is all I can say to you right now. Ok?" Barney realizes in that moment that Lily is hiding something. What does she know? "Just remember we all love you no matter what happens. Now I need to get back home. I have a lot of things on my plate tonight. I am so sorry."

"Thanks for coming over," Barney says to her dejectedly as she walks out the door.