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Chapter 10

Rey was glad that it would take almost a month for the First Order and the Resistance to prepare for the exchange. It left her with time to mentally prepare for all of the possible outcomes. Not that there were many, just two: Kylo and the Order hands over the ships and the Resistance returns Hux or Kylo and the Order double crosses the Resistance and they all have to shoot it out with slight variations on how they would get to that point. Rey knew that if things went south it would be up to her to take Kylo Ren down.

She didn't want to think about that. Even though she was still very much conflicted in what she felt for the dark Jedi, the thought of killing anyone made her severely uncomfortable. Now that they had Hux in custody and he was no longer free to murder innocents Rey could clearly see how wrong she would have been to kill him. She was glad that they were able to capture him instead.

It had been 13 days since Leia had reached out to her son and thankfully that was the last time that Rey had saw him. The bond had been quiet this whole time and Rey was glad because she still had no idea what to say or what she would do the next time she saw him. Part of her was still so angry with him and so jealous of the girl who was getting his attention that at times she felt like she was falling to the dark side. The rest of her was warring between saving him and letting his womanizing ass get what's coming to him.

Today Rey was keeping busy helping the mechanics. The only way she could really shut her brain off was to work with her hands. There were enough broken down land speeders to keep all 20 mechanics busy for the next few weeks so they welcomed Rey's help easily.

"What could you possibly be thinking about so hard that you're just letting oil spill out of that broken down land speeder," Poe's voice came from somewhere in the hanger beyond.

Rey rolled from under the speeder and began sputtering because the way she rolled out was right under the spill of oil. She clearly hadn't been paying any attention as there was oil all over the ground and now all over her.

Rey used a rag to wipe the oil out of her eyes. When she could see again she threw the rag at Poe and Finn who were laughing as though this was the funniest thing they'd seen in days.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Rey said.

She called a bunch of rags to her hands with the force and proceeded to clean up the oil. Poe and Finn were still laughing by the time Rey hauled the filthy rags over to the bin they used to contain anything that might stain.

"I know you two didn't just come here to annoy me; what's up," Rey asked, rubbing oil from her face and hands with a clean rag. "We wanted to know if you wanted to go exploring with us later. Leia wants us to search the island. She wants to know if we can expand the base should the need arise," Finn explained. "Why would we need to expand the base? Even with the handful of us and 200 Jasmenerthians, there's still more than enough room," Rey said. "That's true but since we captured Hux Leia's been getting messages from so called allies that were too afraid of the Order to join us before. We have rebels from thousands of planets seeking asylum with us," Poe explained.

Rey thought about it for a moment.

"It's nice that we have all these people wanting to join the Resistance but I don't think it's smart if we are all stationed on one planet. If the First Order ever found us they could just blow us out of the sky. I think we need to scout nearby planets if we are going to start taking in a bunch of people," Rey said with a thoughtful look on her pretty face.

The guys seemed to think about what she said and then nodded to each other. Rey figured Poe would go with Finn to tell Leia her idea but he stayed as the younger man ran off towards the General's quarters. Rey and Poe stood there and watched Finn disappear down the long main hall of the base.

"I thought you would be jumping at the chance to get out and explore," Poe said. "Normally I would but I've been under that speeder all day and all I wanna do is go and meditate. It seems like since we've been here all I've done is work on things with my hands and there's no one here to help me learn the ways of the force. I tried to read the Jedi Texts but some of them are just so damn confusing and half on them are in a language I don't even recognize so I've been running back and forth from the base's library for language books to help me translate them. It's nerve wracking," Rey said. "Does meditation really work," Poe asked as they started walking toward Rey's hut.

Rey looked at him. How could she explain to someone who wasn't force sensitive what it was like to meditate and feel the force running through everything in the galaxy? Hard answer would take hours to explain with no real guarantee that he would get it. Easy answer was you don't.

"It does," Rey said simply.

They made it to the door of the base and the balmy breeze of Olara greeted them with scents from the ocean and forest. That scent was part of the reason Rey preferred to sleep outside. Waking up to that scent allowed her to remember that she had made it off Jakku.

"I'll never get it but I understand. I'll leave you to it. If Leia still wants us to go out scouting I'll stop back by," Poe said with his trademark smile as they arrived at Rey's hut. "Okay. If not I should be at dinner," Rey said.

Poe waved as he walked back into the base. Rey walked into the stifling air of her hut and decided that it was too hot to meditate fully dressed. She tripped out of her grey tunic so that she was only wearing her breast band, arm wraps and leggings. She threw open the shutters that covered her rough cut out windows so that a breeze blew through.

Rey stretched and rolled her neck before sitting in a crossed legged style in the middle of her floor. She closed her eyes and called for quiet in her mind. Slowly but surely she became fully relaxed and began to slip into her meditative state. She could feel the tension in her body loosen immediately, though it didn't last as she felt a tingle in the back of her mind.

She stayed like that, trying to ignore the ripple in the force that announced Kylo Ren's appearance in her mind. Maybe if she acted like she didn't know he was there he would go away. She tried to focus on the force that resided in everything on Olara, tried to feel what was real and not force vision.

"I am honored to host this banquet in honor of the new Supreme Leader Kylo Ren," a voice echoed from his side of the force.

Rey's eyes snapped open. She recognized that voice. It was the same voice she'd heard calling Kylo back to bed. Her eyes landed on Kylo who was dressed in his usual black but without his helmet, sitting on nothing, looking out at something she couldn't see.

Rey took the moment to look the darkly handsome man over. She rarely had a chance to just look at him without him staring back. Her eyes skimmed his profile and landed on those full lips.

Before she could even allow her mind to wander back to when he'd kissed her, an image of him naked with a woman in his arms hit Rey's brain and her anger surged to life in her. She stood quickly. Kylo's head tilted to the side and Rey wondered if he just realized that the bond had opened. He briefly glanced her way and his eyes went wide. Rey was confused for a moment and then realized she was barely dressed from the waist up.

He moved to stand. Rey backed up, but he wasn't coming toward her. He stepped forward a few feet.

Rey watched him for a few seconds, fuming. He wasn't alone, and it would be no fun to yell at him just yet. Then again, he could just ignore her until the bond closed off and she really didn't want that. She wanted to punch him in the face and scream at him to explain himself. She needed to let this anger out on something before her head exploded.

"The alliance between the First Order and the Jasmenerthian Monarchy is one of the best decisions I have made since becoming Supreme Leader. Queen Tartos' advice and support are more than welcomed with me. I have no doubt in my mind that this partnership will be beneficial to both the First Order and the legitimate peoples of Jasmenerth. Together we can make the Galaxy a better place," Kylo's voice boomed in the space he was in.

Rey couldn't hide her shock that he was on Jasmenerth. She had been there less than a month ago. Taliah had said that the leader of their world had allied with the First Order, but she hadn't considered that she meant that Jasmenerth's Queen was sleeping with Kylo Ren. Even if he'd said that he had stopped sleeping with her. Which obviously was a lie.

Her anger increased double. How dare he use her like that?

Kylo's face was unreadable as he looked off into the distance. Rey moved up behind him.

So, you're just going to ignore me, Rey asked. I am a little preoccupied, Rey, his voice was calm and pleasant.

It seemed that he was enjoying himself. Rey reached out through the force and touched his mind with hers. She could feel his pleasure at all of the people squirming in fear, worried about keeping his needs met, keeping his men happy and keeping the First Order on their side and not blowing up their home.

"Thalia, I need a moment," Kylo said and then seemed to be moving, though Rey could only see him and the bit of floor under his shoes as he walked.

Rey paced back and forth. She paused and Kylo took the opportunity to step into her personal space. He stared down at her with curiosity in his dark eyes. Without even thinking Rey punched him directly on his chin sending him flying back. He hit a wall that was only solid with him touching it. He moved to get up but she pushed him back with the force.

She could feel him get angry now and she was glad.

You are infuriating, woman, he hissed. And you are impossible!

He wiped blood from his lip and shot her an evil look. She wanted to hit him again, just once more and then she would feel better. As he stood she moved to hit him again, but he caught her arm. She tried to slap him with the other, and he caught it with the force which just pissed her off more.

I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! Let me go, asshole, she yelled. Calm down scavenger girl. You assaulted me, and I am just defending myself, he said. You kissed me and then I find you with some woman hanging off you, completely naked!

She turned from him as tears burned in her eyes. She didn't want him to see her so upset. She'd told herself that she didn't care but the truth was that she did, and it was only worse when she could see him. The Force had damned her.

You said you care for me but that does not make me yours. I told you I wouldn't sleep with the woman from that day. I never said anything about the others. If your feelings are hurt that is not my issue, he said coldly. Of course not, darksider! You don't care about anything! What Luke is asking is impossible. I really would prefer if you never put your hands on me again unless you are ending my life. Luke expects me to…work with you. Its impossible, she said feeling defeated already.

He came to stand in front of her. He looked down at her.

Luke has been to see you, too, he asked and she nodded. So you believe that we need to work together?

This time she was hesitant to nod but finally she did. Her anger was lessening with every moment that they talked. She could still feel his anger right under the surface but it was dissipating too. Something about being in this shared space made their individual emotions easier to deal with.

He refuses to tell me why. He just said that we need to bring balance to the force. I don't think it's possible, Kylo said defiantly. You certainly make the task seem daunting. If you weren't such an asshole we could probably find a way to balance the force that connects us at least. Luke explained it simply enough I just don't have the training to pull it off if you resist, Rey said moving around him to look out of her window. My uncle thinks that by loving each other we can bring balance to the force. For one I don't believe that, both the Jedi and the Sith forbid those kinds of feelings if they could bring balance to the force by a sith lord and a jedi loving each other they wouldn't have forbid it and two…the thought of taking in your light is repulsive, Kylo said staring a hole in Rey's back.

Even as he said the words she knew that it wasn't true. He wasn't repulsed by the thought of taking in her light, he was terrified that once he let the light in he wouldn't be able to cling to the darkness anymore. She also noticed that he went with the logical reasons of why it couldn't work and didn't just flat out say that there was no way he could feel that way about her. She could have pointed it out but knew that would just enrage Kylo and she needed to get him to at least try. She didn't know how much time they had before this new threat arrived.

I don't think we have to take it that literally. If we can learn to work together we may be able to do what Luke wants, Rey said. Why do you trust him so much? You barely knew him and when you did he was unhelpful and aggravating. He shows up and gives you an assignment and you just take it like you're still his padawan. He barely even taught you enough to defend yourself against me so why are you so concerned with this so-called mission, Kylo asked. Luke taught me the basics but he's leaving the rest of my training up to you. As far as why I am taking this so seriously is because…there has to be a bigger picture beside taking down the First Order or stomping out the Resistance. What if bringing balance to the Force brings peace to the Galaxy, Rey asked turning to face him.

The look on his face was incredulous. She wanted to slap that look away but then again that could just be left over anger from earlier. He shook his head.

You really are naive if you believe that. Besides I thought there was no way you would ever let me train you, he said. If Luke trusts you to teach me what I need to learn, who am I to question it, Rey said trying to keep Luke's visit from her mind.

It was harder to keep Kylo out of her mind when they were connected like this. Though she didn't really understand why Luke thought it was such a bad idea to tell Kylo about this new threat. She was staring at him hard, trying to understand his twisted way of thinking.

And if I chose to train you the way that I was trained, he asked. I am supposed to take in some of your darkness to help us find balance anyway. I am confident that I can stay in the light no matter what you throw at me, Rey said with a half-smile.

Kylo's face was unreadable as he stared at her like he was trying to understand her just as hard as she was trying to understand him. Rey stared back at him challengingly. She wondered what excuse he would come up with next to get out of doing what Luke wanted.

Kylo opened his mouth to say something but a hand appeared on his shoulder a few seconds before Taliah appeared beside him. Rey's mouth fell open. She'd just seen Taliah a few hours ago in the Olara Base's workshop area. How had she gotten all the way back to Jasmenerth in time?

"Supreme Leader, are you almost ready to rejoin us," she asked and Rey recognized her voice from earlier.

…

Kylo flinched slightly as Thalia came around him. Rey's face said it all. Her fury and jealousy flared to life along with her shock at seeing the Queen of Jasmenerth for the first time. He loved that she was so possessive of him, though he wouldn't admit it. He stood there contemplating how long he should let her believe that the leader of the Jasmenerthian Rebels had betrayed them.

"I need a few more minute, Thalia," he said putting emphasis on her name. "Yes, Supreme Leader," Queen Thalia Tartos of Jasmenerth said as she bowed and left.

Rey opened her mouth to speak but Kylo held up his hand.

I take it the Leader of the Jasmenerthian rebels forgot to mention that her twin sister is the Queen of Jasmenerth, Kylo said with a smug look on his face.

Rey shook her head. Kylo's eyes dipped down her body for the 100th time since he'd noticed what she was wearing, or rather what she wasn't wearing. It made it extremely hard to stay mad at her or focused the way that he should be.

A sudden image flashed before his eyes of him kissing all over that pale golden flesh. Obviously, the planet that she was on had lots of sun like Jakku for her to maintain such a healthy tan. He made a mental note to add that to the details for his scouts.

Taliah is a twin, Rey said absently. Yes, he said taking a step closer to her. And you had sex with her, Rey asked, and he hesitated midway through his next step. Yes, he said cautiously. Is that why she sided with you, Rey asked, her voice only a touch angry. No. She was ambitious before I ever laid eyes on her. She was already Queen when she called the meeting to ally herself with me. It was also her who seduced me. I stopped sleeping with her because her ambition is dangerous for everyone, Kylo explained even though he didn't feel he should have to.

Rey's eyes dropped to the ground. He could feel that she didn't want him to see whatever was on her face. He took one last step closer that put him back in her personal space. He put one finger under her chin and lifted her face to look up at him.

Tears shone in her eyes as well as anger and jealousy. He wanted to kiss that look away, but he also didn't want her to get the wrong idea. The Force had damned him.

If I thought there was a possibility of things working out between us I would put in the effort, but Rey be realistic. We are worlds apart and not just in location. Could you honestly tell your little Resistance friends that you're the lover of their biggest enemy? Could you really hold me in your arms, take me into your body knowing that when we part I'm going to do something you don't like or approve of? Could you really give me your all even though you have no way of knowing that I am doing the same?

He watched as she thought over his words. He cared for her and she cared for him but that didn't make whatever relationship they had be anything other than toxic. They were too different. Even if he did love her the way that she wanted, he knew he would just end up hurting her.

So, what? You just have an endless string of faceless lovers because anything else is too much work, she asked. Kalissa or KA-1991 and Megum or MO-2778 are the only ones and they aren't faceless. We share a physical connection and nothing more but I know everything there is to know about them. Thalia was a wild card mistake that I'll never make again.

Rey looked shocked. She had really believed that he had numerous women throwing themselves at him and that he was sleeping with all of them.

I didn't think Stormtroopers were programed for anything other than following orders and killing, Rey said snidely. I'm not into the brainwashing that Snoke was. Since you are so concerned with who I'm screwing, who would you suggest, he asked still staring intently into those wide hazel eyes.

She blushed furiously and he could feel embarrassment coming off of her in waves. He chuckled at how adorable she was. He knew he really should stop thinking of her like that but it was almost impossible with her standing before him barely dressed and only an inch or two of space between their bodies.

I…um…I…I could ask you the same question, Rey spat quickly. I'm not concerned with who you are or aren't sleeping with. I have no right to be, Kylo lied smoothly. So if you found oh, let's say Poe and I in the same compromising position that I found you in with your little Stormtrooper lover, you wouldn't care at all, she asked and he knew she was baiting him but that didn't stop him from growing angry.

He knew for a fact that if he ever caught that pilot with his naked body pressed to Rey's there would be no way Kylo would be able to let the man live. He knew he should lie, he should send her running into the arms of a good man but with her this close all he could think about was making her his, even though he knew it would all end in disaster.

You would be furious, wouldn't you, Rey asked and Kylo hung his head in shame.

He should have more control over his emotions, especially ones that made him so weak. If Rey was truly his enemy he could destroyed her, he could use her emotions against her. He was as weak as Snoke believed him to be when it came to this scavenger girl.

I should lie to you, tell you to run to that damned pilot but the thought of you in the arms of another man is too much to ask of me, he admitted. So how do you expect me to feel? I saw you with her. Knowing something and seeing it are two totally different things. I told myself that I could care for you without it turning into real feelings but I was fooling myself. This bond will not allow any feelings I have for you to stay small and unimportant. What I feel for you is as close to love as I've ever felt. I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Only you can make me hate you and want to be with you at the same time. And it would be easier to hate you if you hated me, Rey said,

Kylo was sick of having this conversation. They both agreed that what they felt for each other was unhealthy and complicated, so why wasn't that enough to make them stop feeling this way? Maybe they were made to torture each other. This mental anguish would have pleased Snoke immensely.

Believe me; I've tried to hate you. I've tried to make myself realize that you would be better off with someone with as much light as you, not some monster surrounded in the darkness. That doesn't make it any easier or make me want you less, he said. Because it's easier for you to be a monster than to try and be anything else. If you were truly a monster, force bond or not, I don't think I would have these feelings for you, unless there is something wrong with me, Rey said and her voice cracked.

Kylo felt like his heart was being ripped in two.

There is nothing wrong with you Rey. You are absolutely perfect. Way too good to be with someone like me. The pilot or even the traitor would be better suited for you, he said. Shouldn't I be the one to decide that, she asked. No, because you are obviously compromised when it comes to me. Imagine what my mother and your friends would say if they found out.

Again, something that Kylo was sick of worrying about and talking about. He was the Supreme Leader of the whole galaxy; he should have been able to have whatever woman he wanted. Including the one in front of him practically begging him to love her. He could admit to himself that her light was part of what made him want her, the last thing he wanted to do was corrupt her. But Luke wanted her to take Kylo's darkness into her. And he suspected that he was to take her light into him.

I don't know why I can't get you out of my head, Kylo. I want you so badly sometimes but... Right now, I think we should maybe work on being friends so that we can work together. I will try to keep my feelings for you at bay and I would ask that you do the same thing. Now that the Jasmenerthians have joined us there are more men than just Poe and Finn. So, maybe I will try turning my attentions to one of them, Rey said with a playful smirk.

Kylo let out a furious growl and pulled her closer to him.

You and I could never just be friends, Rey of Jakku. I've just come to the conclusion that we have no choice about how we feel. Every time we see each together it gets stronger, before you know it we will love each and won't be able to be together, Kylo said. There are things that you must change before we can even begin to fully trust each other. Let alone anything else, Rey said.

Kylo looked away. He was so conflicted. He wanted to agree to everything she was saying. He wanted to vow to stop seeing Megum and Kalissa. He wanted to disband the Order and run off with her. But he knew that he would be lying and from now on he would try not to lie to her.

I will not lie to you Rey, not ever again. Because of that I will tell you now that I do not intend to stop sleeping with Megum or Kalissa. Not yet anyway. I will keep the bond closed as tightly as possible when I am with them. I wanted to let you know that I will be at the exchange. I would like to see you. Even if we can't show our true emotions, he said. I think Leia will allow it. Goodbye, Kylo Ren, Rey said and moved to pull away from him.

Before the Force could pull them away, he brushed his bruised lips against hers and then she was gone.

Kylo took a deep breath as the sounds and smells of the party came back to him. He glanced around and saw that he'd left a crack in the wall that Rey had thrown him into. If he were still under Snoke he would've had to explain what had happened to the wall, but now he just walked off, looking for Thalia. He found her in her bedroom, running a brush through her long brown hair.

"So, that was the girl you dream about," Thalia asked. "You saw her when you touched me," he said matter-of-factly. "Yes, she is beautiful. A little young and tiny but beautiful none the less. She wasn't very happy with you."

He stared at her in the mirror. She looked angry. He didn't care. If she threatened Rey, he would kill her.

"Why didn't you just take her instead of what you have planned? I'm sure she will be even angrier with you, Supreme Leader," Thalia asked. "That really is none of your concern Thalia. Host your party and play your part. Anything else might be taken as treason," Kylo said with a superior look on his face. "And conspiring with the Resistance isn't," she demanded.

She stood and turned to face him.

"You dreamed of that girl every night we were together, called her name if your sleep. Were you thinking of her when we had sex? Is she the reason we stopped sleeping together?"

Kylo felt himself getting angry again. He didn't owe this woman an explanation, he didn't owe her anything. She still didn't seem to understand that.

"No, you are the reason we stopped sleeping together and this jealousy is unbefitting of a queen or any woman who wanted to be by myside. I suggest you stop this now" Kylo warned coldly. "What if I tell the Order that you've been secretly meeting with the Resistance? What if I tell them the person who killed Snoke will be at the exchange? Do you think Hux and Snoke's loyalists would be pleased to know that their new Supreme Leader is a lovesick puppy for the Resistance's lone Jedi," Thalia asked, moving closer to him.

Her eyes held fury. She really believed that Rey was the reason he no longer wanted her in his bed and not her own treacherous ambition which was showing very much right now. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head. She was trying to either black mail him into sleeping with her again or at least solidifying her position with him. Either way he didn't like it.

His hand snapped up and a force hand wrapped around her throat pulling her closer to him. When they were face to face he began to squeeze harder. Hux had been the only person he'd had to force choke more than once up until now. He didn't like that she was so defiant.

"If I ever find that you've opened your mouth about anything concerning that girl, I will make you beg for death. I will burn this city to the ground. I will wipe Jasmenerth from the history books. Do you hear me, woman," he growled in her face.

He waited for her to weakly nod. Then he dropped her to the ground. One hand clutched at her throat the other clutched the carpet. Kylo moved to take a step forward so that he was standing on her fingers keeping her on her knees. He pulled his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it. He held the crackling energy blade very close to the bruised flesh of her throat. The heat from it burning along her skin and burning the ends of her long hair.

She shook with fear. Kylo was pleased with her reaction. The entire galaxy feared lightsabers welded by the Jedi almost as much as they feared the First Order's planet killers. It seemed that the Jasmenerthians were no exception to the rule. Thalia cried out in pain as Kylo pressed harder on her fingers.

"Rey of Jakku is off limits! Don't even let me catch you thinking about her. Is that understood Thalia Tartos," he asked. "Yes, Supreme Leader," she cried in a high pitched voice. "Now, pick yourself up. We have a party to get back to," Kylo said, turning off his blade and stepped away from her.

She shakily got to her feet and brushed her long maroon dress free of dirt. There were blisters forming along her jaw and throat from the heat of the blade being held so close for so long. Her lower lip trembled a bit and her eyes were shiny with tears. Apparently Kylo Ren was built for making women cry.

He couldn't help the flash of Rey's tear stained face that popped into his mind. One day he would make up for all of the terrible things he'd done to her. He had to, if he ever wanted them to be more than whatever they were now.

First he needed to be rid of Hux and apparently now Thalia. They were both liable to screw him over. If he could help it, he would be rid of both of them at once and then he could put people loyal to him in their places.

Once Thalia had made herself presentable again, the two of them went and rejoined the festivities. Thalia put on her hostess face but Kylo could feel the evil intent pouring off of her. She was definitely going to be a problem much sooner than he'd predicted. Kylo had been enjoying himself prior to his chat with Thalia but now he wasn't. Now all he could think about was how he could protect Rey from Hux and Thalia.

Loving this scavenger girl was likely to be his down fall.

A/N: Again guys please Review! Also things will pick up from here on out. I was trying to capture the vast difference between what they both consider trying and what they feel. He thinks he's putting in enough effort to deserve Rey's love and doesn't see anything wrong sleeping with women he has no feelings for because he and Rey can't be together how he wants.