Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah. Blah. Blah. Enjoy.
1-Up Girl: Chapter 4.
(An unknown amount of time later)
After what felt like an eternity of drifting through a sea of inky blackness, Annie finally regained consciousness.
Unfortunately, she woke up with the mother of all headaches.
"Ugh…" the young otaku groaned as she feebly attempted to push herself up off the ground. "Whuh happened? Where am I?"
A fair question.
Last thing she remembered was getting hit by a blast of light in that old arcade, but now she appeared to be somewhere outside.
Somewhere really hot and… full of sand?
What the hell?
But alas, it was true. By some bizarre quirk of fate, Annie suddenly found herself sitting on the edge of tiny oasis in the middle of an enormous desert.
Only something wasn't quite right. The sand was a weird, almost mustardy yellow and the sky was the wrong shade of blue. But even stranger than that, there were dozens of fluffy white clouds hanging motionlessly in the sky and the sun was sporting what appeared to be a smiley face with sunglasses.
Everything looked like it belonged in a cartoon.
But wait, if everything else looked weird, then what did she… she needed a mirror!
Acting on pure adrenaline, the young otaku forced herself into a standing position and then dashed over to the pool at the center of the oasis to get a look at her refection. To her immeasurable relief, her face was still the same; same hair, same glasses, even the same braces. But her clothes on the other hand were an entirely different matter.
"What the heck?" she asked herself aloud as she examined her new outfit; which could only be described as late 90s romanticized Arabian. "Why am I dressed like Aladdin?"
However, before she could ponder this any further, a familiar groan snapped her back to 'reality'.
"Ugh…" went the unmistakable voice of Jackie from somewhere close by.
Once again acting on instinct, Annie dashed over to where the groans were emanating from and, sure enough, she found her friend there lying facedown in the sand; only for some reason she was dressed like an Arabian belly dancer.
"Jackie! Jackie, are you okay?" she asked worriedly as she attempted to rouse the young skateboarder from her slumber. "Please, wake up!"
"Ugh… huh? Whazah? What's going on?" Jackie replied groggily as she lifted her head out of the sand. "Annie? Is that you?"
"Oh, thank goodness! You're okay! I mean, you are okay, aren't you?"
"Yeah… I think so." The young blonde said as her eyes readjusted to the light. "But why are you dressed like Aladdin?"
"Um… I'm not really sure." Annie replied , sounding more than a little embarrassed. "But it's probably for the same reason you're dressed like a belly dancer."
"What are you…"
Jackie's eyes went wide with alarm as she suddenly noticed the revealing outfit she was wearing.
"Oh my GOD! I look like a stripper!"
"What? No… no, you look… good. You look… cute."
"Really?"
"Oh, sure. I mean, with your body, you can totally pull off a look like that. Not that I've been looking at your body or anything, I've just noticed that you've got the hips for it, that's all. Not that your hips are big, I just meant that you're a little meatier than most girls our age, and… is it getting hot or is it just me?"
"It's a desert, Lightfoot. It's always hot." Said a snide voice that could only belong to Britney Wong. "And if you two morons are done flirting, maybe you can focus whatever braincells you have on figuring out a way to get us all home."
As expected, the Queen of Mean herself came strolling over a nearby sand dune; sporting a look of annoyed arrogance that could only come from a lifetime of getting everything she ever asked for. She was followed swiftly by Chantelle, then Oskar, and finally Ferguson. All annoyances aside, Annie was relieved to see that they were all unharmed. Though she was confused as to why they were all wearing the same outfit as Jackie.
"Aw Yeah!" Ferguson exclaimed with his usual air of jackassery. "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! I knew something cool would happen if I stuck with you guys. Granted, I'm not really loving this outfit, but just look at this scenery! I wonder what dimension we're in?"
"Shut up, Ferguson." Britney said cuttingly. "Although that is a good question. Thomas. Lightfoot. You two hang out with crazy magic people. Any ideas?"
"Um… well…" Annie said nervously; feeling very uneasy about being put on the spot. "I… I mean, I think it's very likely that we're still in the arcade. Only it's been transformed into a sort of… Pocket Universe."
Most of the others shot the young otaku with looks that ranged from confused to dismissive, but luckily Jackie was their to back her up.
"Oh, you mean like in that story Jefferson told us about the Italian count and the wine barrel?"
"Yes, exactly. Only this User seems to be able to affect a much larger space. And apparently he can alter the appearance of anyone within that space. Or at least their clothes."
"Yeah, and I noticed something just before I blacked out earlier. There was something weird about this guy's aura. It felt sort of… familiar."
"I felt that too. And now that I think about it, there's something really familiar about this desert. I just can't shake the feeling that I've seen all this somewhere before."
"Yeah… I haven't understood half of what you dorks have been saying, but none of it sounds like a way home." Brittany said dismissively, before adopting a look of tired revulsion. "Ugh… I can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe we should call… Star for help. Ugh! It hurts."
"Unfortunately, that's not gonna work." Jackie replied. "All our phones were in our pockets when our clothes disappeared, so they're long gone. Same goes for my Dimensional Scissors. I hate to say it, but it looks like we're stuck here."
"YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" went a loud, booming voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once.
Suddenly, the ground began to shake and a violent whirlpool formed in the center of the oasis.
And from out of that maelstrom arose a glorious golden oil lamp that sparkled in the sunlight.
All the weirdness aside, it was truly a wonderous sight to behold.
But alas, before the group could take the opportunity to enjoy it, a strange emerald colored smoke started spewing from its spout.
"AH-HA-HA-HA-AH! FOOLISH MORTALS! THOSE WHO DESECRATE MY SACRED SPRING MUST PAY A HEAFTY PRICE!" the voice bellowed as the smoke stated to take on a more humanoid shape. "PREPARE TO DEFEND THY SELF! OH BRAVE PRINCE OF ARABY! FOR I, THE GREAT LE JINN, AM NOW YOUR JUDGE!"
Suddenly, a great gust of wind blew through the oasis; forcing everyone to shield their eyes from the sand.
"NOW, EVERYBODY SAY THE MAGIC WORDS! HAIL 2 U!"
Then there was a flash of blinding white light and for a split second the entire world went blank.
But when the light finally faded, Annie quickly realized that everything had changed.
No longer was she standing in an oasis, but at the top of what appeared to be an Arabian styled medieval tower. But even more alarming than that, Jackie and the others were no longer standing beside her, but instead they were trapped in large iron cages; hung from chains that appeared to be attached to nothing but air.
"Jackie!" Annie cried.
"Annie!" Jackie replied.
"Are you guys okay?"
"Are we okay?" Brittany cut in harshly. "Are you kidding me? We're locked up in cages, dressed like hookers, and stranded in a crazy magic desert world! In what universe would any of that indicate us being okay? And also, how come you're not locked up here with us?"
"Because she's Player-1." said the voice from earlier, sounding much calmer and less bombastic than before. "Whereas the rest of you are merely the scoreboard."
Once again acting on instinct, Annie craned her head upward and at last found the owner of the mysterious voice.
And oh what a sight he was.
It was like something straight from the incense soaked mind of Scheherazade herself. Emerald green skin. Jet black Fu Manchu moustache. Rippling muscles covered in golden bands and rings. And a lower body composed of nothing but wispy green smoke.
Yes, dear reader, their captor was in fact a genie; or at the very least he looked like one.
"Whoa…" went the young otaku, speaking for everyone in attendance.
"Whoa? Is that all you've got to say?" the emerald jinn said amusedly. "Really now, I expected better from you, Annie."
"You… Y-Y-You know my name?"
"Oh, I know a lot more than that, my dear. AHEM! Name: Anastasia Drizella Lightfoot. Date of Birth: August 5th, 2001. Favorite Color: Mauve. Favorite Food: Happy Cat Instant Ramen. Favorite Movie: Lord Kante and the 77 Samurai. Relationship Status: Single. Professional Status: Highschool Student. Owner, Proprietor, and Sole Contributor of the Star Butterfly Forever Blog. Did I miss anything?"
"I… I… I…" the young otaku stammered, clearly disturbed by the enemy's in-depth knowledge about her. But after remembering one of Jefferson's lessons on intimidation, she quickly shook it off and adopted a more assertive demeanor. "Alight, listen you! I've had just about enough of this nonsense! I demand that you tell me who you are and how you know so much about me! Right now!"
"Introductions? Well, alright. I suppose that's fair." The jinn replied; clearly not intimidated. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is John Ringo. And I believe you know my older brother."
"Older brother?" she repeated confusedly, only for the truth to suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks. "Wait, Ringo? As in Paul Ringo? That psycho plant guy? He's you're brother?"
"Was my brother." The jinn corrected her. "But don't worry, I don't hold his death against you."
"You… You don't?"
"Hell no. Pauly and I were never really all that close. I mean, we were practically from different generations. Born fifteen years apart. And between you and me, I never liked him all that much. He was always getting into trouble when we were young. Always upsetting our dear sweet mother."
"Um… okay."
"Yeah… anyway, as for your second question. The reason I know so much about is simple. I read your blog."
Ah, now that certainly explained a lot.
You see dear reader, during the first few months of the Star Butterfly Forever Blog, Annie had unknowingly left the Auto Correct Function on her laptop switched on. So, for the first ninety thousand entries on her blog, the word Mewni was changed to Moony. Eventually, she figured this out and turned off the Auto Correct, but she never bothered to go back and correct her earliest entries.
It also explained how he'd managed to duplicate her phone number. Her website was linked to her FaceTime account. He probably hacked it to gain all her personal information.
Very, very unsettling.
"But wait, if you don't care about avenging your brother, then why are you doing all this?"
"Heh-Heh-Heh. Isn't it obvious? I want to play a game with you."
"A game?"
"Yes, you see, when I first heard that my big brother finally got iced, I raced right on down here to meet the ones responsible. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Big Bad Pauly had his timeclock punched by a bunch of kids and an old drunk. I almost peed myself from laughing. After that I knew I had to put at least one of you through the wringer. So I set up a few wireless webcams around that clearing of yours while your friend Janna was sleeping. Then I just sat back and waited for the perfect time to spring my trap. Honestly, I was hoping to play against either Star or Marco, but I can't say I'm disappointed to see you here, my perky little blogger."
Very, very, very unsettling.
"Wait… what exactly do you mean by 'play'?"
"Heh-Heh-Heh. Haven't you figured it out yet, Annie? Just think about it. Your clothes. This scenery. The fact that I lured you all into an arcade."
The wheels in Annie's head started turning.
Suddenly, she realized why this world seemed so familiar.
"Hold on… are you saying that we're inside a video game?"
"Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! That's correct, my dear. For you see, this is the power of my Stand: Pac-Man-Fever. The power to bring any video game I choose to glorious life! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
"Okay, now I believe you're Ringo's younger brother."
"Don't get cute with me, Lightfoot." The emerald Jinn said threateningly. "Because in case this wasn't already painfully obvious, I control this world. And the only way out is for you to beat me and win the game."
"And let me guess, if I lose, we'll all be trapped here forever, right?"
"Oh no, of course not." Ringo the Younger said innocently. "If you lose, you'll die… painfully."
"Oh…" Annie replied as the blood drained from her face. "Well… then, what if I just refuse to play?"
"Then you and your friends will be stuck here in the opening cutscene until you all starve. And believe you me, that's not much better."
"Oh… uh… then what if…"
"No! There are no 'what-if's' in my world!" the jinn yelled explosively. "There are no loopholes! No other angles! No trickedy tricks! You either play the game my way, or you don't play at all! Got it?"
"Uh… got it."
"Good! Now, if there are no more questions, let's get this show on the road." The younger Ringo said menacingly as he stretched his arms out wide in an overly dramatic fashion. "Now, everybody say the magic words! HAIL 2 U!"
End Notes:
Quick question: Just out of curiosity, what voice actor would you pick for Jefferson?
Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.
Peace.