As promised, the next chapter.
Just because I've done this, make sure you read the chapter before this. I updated yesterday too.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!
~Christianne
Nikki POV
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
The gravel in my knees was digging in more. I didn't notice it though.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
I had both my hands up on the bare mattress, wrapped around Sam's large hand, my fingers laced through his. My head was resting on my arms, facing the floor. My eyes pinched shut tight.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Shouldn't we stop 'er?" Bobby asked.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Tried." That was Dean this time. "She won't."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"She has to get her back fixed." Bobby again.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Yeah." Dean said flatly.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Knees too."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Yeah."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"She needs to eat."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Yeah."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"You do too, Dean."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"I'm fine."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"How long 'ya think she's gonna be there?"
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Don't know."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
Neither did I.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
I couldn't feel a connection.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
Like with John, I tried and tried, but there was no energy for me to grasp.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
But if I stopped, that meant he was gone.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
He couldn't be gone.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
I could hear Bobby speak to Dean in the next room.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"I hate to bring this up, I really do." He started. "But, don't you think it's time…we bury Sam?"
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
I gripped Sam's hands tighter and choked out a sob.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
His hands were getting stiff and cold in mine.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"No." Dean said firmly.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"We could…" Bobby trailed off. "Maybe…"
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"What? Torch his corpse?"
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
I let out a louder sob, and heard a chair creak, like someone was looking over their shoulder to look at me; the bloodied, crying Wiccan holding the hand of a corpse and saying a healing chant.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Not yet." Dean said.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"I want you to come with me." Bobby said lowly.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Dean, please."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"I leave when Nik does." Dean snapped.
"I will blow you sky high." I vowed through gritted teeth. "Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
That was the first thing other than the chant I'd said in hours.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Won't you cut me a little slack?" Dean asked sharply.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"I just don't think you should be alone, that's all."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"I got to admit." Bobby continued. "I could use your help. The witch can come too."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Something big is going down—End-Of-The-World big." Bobby kept talking.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Well then let it end!" Dean yelled.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"You don't mean that." Bobby responded calmly.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
Yes he does.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
I know, because I'm thinking the same thing.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"You don't think so?" Dean challenged. "Huh?"
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. And if you know what's good for you, you'll knock Nik out cold, toss her in sitting shotgun, turn around and get the Hell out of here."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
I started crying again.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
The next thing I heard was a door open and close.
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia servo meo male, sicut Deus vult. Ad onera, ad imperium tuum precor supernae dilectionis tuae deum laver."
"Corpore sano, sana animam meam. Do tibi vis, fac me in toto. Magia se-Ah!" I yelped when I felt a hand wrap around both of my wrists and yank me back. I looked up at Dean from the floor. He tossed my hands in my lap.
"Get up." He said flatly.
"Get out." I snapped, sitting up to take Sam's hand again.
Dean, not having any of this, grabbed me under my arms and hauled me out of the room Sam's body was in. I didn't take my eyes off it.
I started doing the incantation in my mind, seeing if I was powerful enough to do this without contact.
Dean sat me down in a chair, backwards; so I was straddling the back.
I heard him cut open the back of my shirt, and felt the pain of him cleaning and picking gravel out of my wounds. It took a good hour to get most of it out.
"I get it." I said quietly, still looking at Sam.
"Hm?" Dean grunted, wrapping bandages around my torso.
"Gwendolyn, one of my relatives, she used magic to get rid of the love she felt for a Native American guide." I said in the same quiet voice. "I didn't understand how doing something like that would make anyone's life better; getting rid of feelings…I get it, now."
Dean sighed, and helped put my arms through the sleeves of, what I think was, one of his shirts. I buttoned a few buttons, not really caring.
"I love him." I said offhandedly.
"I know," was all Dean said.
He went on to do other things, I just stayed in the chair, staring at Sam. It was like I had been punched in the heart and was still in recoil from it. It was right in front of me, but my mind just couldn't process it.
I crossed my arms over my chair, and rested my head on them.
I fell asleep in seconds.
…
When I woke up, Dean was gone.
It was eerily quiet in the empty house.
I'd seen my things in a corner earlier. I didn't question how they got there. I didn't care enough.
I grabbed my herb bag, and with a swipe of my arm, cleared off half the table. I pulled out a folded notebook paper, and flattened it out on the corner of the table.
I pulled out a jar, and began to put the herbs written on the paper into it.
When I got to the last one, I hesitated.
I was making Gwendolyn's fall-out-of-love cocktail, and you needed 'hair from your beloved.'
I sucked in a breath, and slowly walked to the room where Sam's body was. I was practically limping; my knees were killing me.
Once I got to the side of Sam's mattress, and slowly kneeled down.
"Why couldn't you just live?" I questioned softly. I raised a shaking hand towards his face, and slowly ran a hand through his hair, catching the stray strands between my fingers. His hair was thick and soft.
With the six of seven strands of Sam's hair in my hand, I went back to my open herb bag. I dropped the hairs in, and poured in some holy water. I closed the jar lid, and shook it. Once it was a metallic, pearly pink, I stopped and set it on the table.
Did I really want to do this?
What was the saying?-It was better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. Something like that.
They had a point. I guess.
But the twisting, crippling, burning pain in my chest that had only grown since I saw Sam get stabbed; that was going to be there forever.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to live with that.
As I pondered what to do, I began rewrapping my knees and back with wintergreen bandages.
I froze as I heard a sharp gasp.
I sat up straight when I heard a second.
My mouth fell open with a shaky gasp when I heard a groan.
I spun around after I heard the mattress creak.
I got to my feet when I saw the mattress was empty.
I slowly walked to the room, and braced my hands on the doorway as I looked in.
A sob choked out as I saw a man, easily 6'4", wearing jeans and a striped button down, standing with his back to a mirror. He was grunting in pain as he pulled the back of his shirt up, revealing a reddish, angry mark along his spine.
"Sam." I said, just a shaky breath.
He turned towards me, and I almost fell to my knees as I saw life in his blue-hazel eyes. "Hey Nik." He muttered, pulling his shirt down. "Uh, what-what happened?"
I quickly crossed the room, and slapped him across the face. He stumbled back a step, and looked at me in shock. "Samuel Winchester." I started slowly. "If you ever scare me like that again, I swear to God, I will end you."
He looked down at me with shocked, confused eyes. He hand one hand holding his cheek.
I threw my arms around his waist and started sobbing into his chest.