Chapter Six – Always Moving Forward

This place makes me feel old.

The last time she'd walked the halls of the police academy she'd been a young cadet with no idea what was in store for her. Now she was back walking the halls. This time instead of wondering which precinct she'd be assigned to when her training was over she was wondering whether she'd looked that young the first time. Probably. She'd probably been just as clueless too. They had no idea what they'd be getting into if they ran into a victim of rape or assault, and it was her job to give them that idea. She'd covered when to call SVU, how to deal with a live victim, and the definite "no nos" with them. Her speech had covered a lot of information, but apparently not enough to satisfy them. Once the questions had started, they hadn't ended. She wasn't even sure what number she was on by that point.

"What about domestic disputes? What's the line there?"

It was a good question. Domestics were complicated, and the line was always moving. Even as a detective specializing in sex crimes, domestic disputes could cause issues simply because anything could happen. As she was trying to put together an answer that covered all of the potential contingencies she was cut short by two sharp barks. She didn't need to look at Suvi to know what they meant. Instead she glanced toward the instructor in the room with her. They'd gone over procedures for if she had a seizure before she'd even started.

"Everyone take a five minute break. We'll reconvene after that," the instructor explained as Olivia slipped away from the podium and joined Suvi.

She settled on the floor, not overly concerned about what she knew was about to happen. Suvi would be there next to her through the entire thing. No matter what happened or how bad the seizure was, he would be the first thing she saw when she woke up. He wasn't going to leave her. It was her last thought before she slipped away.

The break the cadets had been given turned out to be longer than five minutes. By the time they were allowed back into the room it was more like fifteen. While the seizure hadn't lasted long, Olivia hadn't woken up very quickly after. Even after she finally had it had taken a bit longer for her to be comfortable enough to stand. When the cadets returned Olivia was sitting on a chair beside the podium and slowly drinking a bottle of water. Suvi, as she'd known he would, remained right next to her with his nose touching her thigh. The instructor tried to start the questioning again, but the young trainees only looked at each other nervously. Nobody wanted to ask anything anymore. Olivia could see it plain as day and smiled weakly.

"Let me be an example for you that this job can be unpredictable. Prepare and stay on top of your game because sometimes even your best isn't good enough. You never know what could happen. Good or bad."

She reached down and ruffled Suvi's ears.

"Now, there was an answer I was supposed to be giving before my head decided it was time to take a break."

That got a few smiles from them like she'd hoped, and some of the tension in the room eased.

O . o . O . o . O

"You're very good at this, you know," the academy director told Olivia as they were walking down the hallway.

"I would still prefer an interrogation room."

"I'm sure you would, but you're doing a lot of good doing this."

"Thank you."

"There's a big conference in DC about sex crimes. The director contacted us. They want you there, Olivia."

"You're kidding."

"No. I'm serious. It's in two months. You really should consider it," he pressed.

Olivia shook her head. She knew there were quite a few departments that wanted her to speak at some conference or another. It shouldn't be that surprising that someone in DC wanted her, and yet it was. DC sounded like a pretty big deal. A step up from her usual conferences at the very least. No matter how many times people told her she was talented at addressing large groups and disseminating important information she'd never really considered herself as anything special. It seemed that not everyone agreed with that assessment.

"I don't normally go out of state."

"First time for everything. Think about it. I'll send you the information. They really want you."

"Somehow I think they would have contacted me if they did," she returned with an amused smile.

"They contacted the police commissioner. He passed it along to us since he knew you were coming here today."

Olivia had a hard time believing that. Why would they contact the police commissioner about bringing her into a conference? It seemed a bit extreme to her. There was no way she could be that sought after. Even if she was though she wasn't sure she wanted to travel that far anyway. Washington DC was still within driving distance as long as she could find someone to take her. Chances were she could even take the bus if she wanted to look that far into it. A bus wouldn't be as intimidating as a plane, and security wouldn't be as tight.

"What are they covering?" she asked before she realized what she was doing.

"The whole gamut of difficulties you can face at sex crimes. I think they're running it like a conference where you can choose the sessions you want to attend."

Olivia's eyebrow rose slightly. She'd heard of conferences that worked that way, but she'd never attended one. Speaking at one would definitely be a new experience. If she agreed to do it of course. But who was she kidding? Despite her questions and hesitations she'd already decided she wanted to go. Only a few months ago she probably would have turned the offer down. Now her faith in Suvi had lifted her confidence and she felt ready to take another step. It had become almost a phrase to live by since she'd been hurt. One step further. Don't stop walking forward.

"Definitely send me what you have. If they want me there I'm going to need time to work on what I'm supposed to talk about."

The director shot her a smile when he realized she had agreed to go.

"I will. You'll have it before the end of the day."

O . o . O . o . O

As Olivia watched Suvi in the park later that afternoon she couldn't help being distracted. She was still reveling over the fact that she had been invited to speak at a national conference. While Suvi was busy rolling around in the grass Olivia was running possibilities in her mind. The more she thought about it the more she was looking forward to the conference. She was yanked out of her thoughts when Suvi's shoulder collided with hers as he ran past. When she looked up he was rubbing against Ben's legs. In the short time she'd known Ben Suvi had become somewhat attached. He was completely comfortable around Ben and happy to say hello whenever he saw him. Of course he was even happier to accept the petting that usually resulted from his greetings.

"Trying to steal my dog?"

Ben smiled brightly and came over to join her.

"No. Never."

She smiled softly at him in response, but instead of returning to Suvi his eyes stayed on her. He wasn't saying a word, simply watching and evaluating. For a little while she was okay with that. It wasn't like she hadn't had eyes following her all the time before. This look was different though. Softer and more soul searching. Before she knew it she'd broken eye contact and was looking down.

"You look nice you know," Ben told her when he picked up on her embarrassment.

"That's not hard to do when you've only seen me in workout clothes."

"Then I'm glad I ran into you today."

Olivia nearly rolled her eyes and looked away to focus on Suvi instead. Hearing she looked nice really didn't mean very much to her anymore. Any guy on the street could say it. In fact, she'd heard it more from men she didn't know than ones she did. Ben could guess what he'd said wrong but had no idea why the compliment had bothered her. Instead of trying to determine why it had upset her and possibly making things worse, he decided a subject change was more appropriate.

"Are you hungry?"

"What?"

"Are you hungry?" When she continued to stare at him blankly he continued. "Do you want to get some food? Could you use to fill your belly? Um…. Yo quiero Taco Bell? I'm running out of ways to say the same thing."

"I think you ran out before the whole Taco Bell thing."

"Guilty," he returned as he lifted his hands.

"I do have Suvi with me you know. No matter how hungry I might be I'm not going to leave him outside alone."

Technically she wouldn't have to. Suvi's vest was in her purse and she could put it on him whenever she wanted. The problem was she didn't want to. So far Ben had never seen Suvi with his vest on, and Olivia had been lucky enough not to have a seizure in his presence. Ben knew nothing about her condition yet and she would rather keep it that way as long as she could.

"Never fear. I've taken that into account." He stood and held out his hand for her. "Come on."

Olivia ignored his hand but got up on her own despite her blossoming hesitation. Ben had to hide the smile that was trying its hardest to escape onto his face. Either she really wanted to keep him at arm's length or she was almost desperate to prove that she didn't want or need anyone's help. He didn't really care what the reason was or that she'd ignored his hand. She'd agreed to come with him for food, and that was good enough for him.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere I'm hoping you'll like."

"Ben, come on," Olivia protested.

"It's a little place right outside of the park. Trust me."

She snorted, but clipped Suvi's leash on anyway. Ben's request was a lot easier said than done for her. Trust was precious, and she didn't bestow it easily. He'd earned a little bit, but that only went so far. As they walked through the park together Ben sensed Olivia's wariness. She was keeping more of a distance between them than usual. Not only was there a physical distance, she hadn't spoken with him or really looked at him since they'd started walking. Either he had accidentally ended things between them or she would come around when she realized where they were going. He would find out soon enough.

They left the park and headed a block down the street before Ben came to a stop. Olivia took that as a hint that they had arrived. It wasn't hard to figure out where he had been planning to take her. When she glanced toward him she found him smiling warmly back at her.

"A smoothie shop?" she asked incredulously.

"Yup. I figured it was a safe bet since you're a runner."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Some runners are health nuts. If you are, smoothies are good for you, and if you aren't they're still delicious."

Ben shrugged but the smile still danced on his face. He'd apparently thought it through and was rather pleased with the result.

"That so?"

"Yup."

A smile slipped across Olivia's face too and she shook her head in amusement. He'd been trying to be thoughtful, and really, he'd done a good job.

"For the record, I'm not a health nut."

"Perfect. I'm not either. I prefer making choices based on taste."

"Good to see my health is high up on your priority list."

Ben laughed and started forward.

"You'll see why I picked this place after your first sip, Miss Judgment. Come on."

If she hadn't been so sure he was teasing her, like always, she would have jumped down his throat. Instead she rolled her eyes and followed after him. Based on the number of people milling around she suspected the smoothies had to be at least decent. Ben got in line and didn't even bother to look at the menu. Apparently he'd been to the little shop enough to already know what he wanted. She didn't have the vaguest idea what she was going to order. With the line moving surprisingly fast she was going to need to decide quickly. Something pineapple or more berry related?

"Any suggestions?"

"Now you want to trust my opinion?" he teased. Before Olivia could respond Ben added, "I would recommend the Malibu Peach personally."

"Is that what you're getting?"

"Nope. Something better."

"Better be careful you don't push your luck."

"Perhaps I should bow down and offer my sincerest apologies then," he told her with his trademark smile.

"Do it and I will hit you."

"Vicious, aren't you?"

Olivia eyed him with mock questioning. He had probably determined that a long time ago, possibly even in their first meeting. Ben only laughed at her expression and proceeded to order their drinks.