Chapter 32- The Name Game

"How was your day?" Barney asks, when they sit down for dinner Monday night.

"Good. I was looking up some names today, and I think I found a few good ones," Robin replies.

"Shoot."

"Chloe," Robin offers.

"She was a good one," Barney snickers.

"So that rules that one out then," Robin groans.

"No names of girls I slept with at all?"

"Nope." Barney opens his mouth in retort, but Robin cuts him off. "And don't say that there aren't going to be any names left."

"Fine," he groans. "Finish your list."

"Bella."

"Nope," he replies quickly.

"Presley."

"Gorsh, that sounds like a stuck up celebrity."

"Jasmine."

"Lily's doppelganger's name. So... no."

"Ella."

"Too common."

"Vivian."

"Sounds like an old lady. Next."

"Jamie."

"That's a boy's name."

She rolls her eyes. Leave it to Barney to nix her entire list so far.

"That's my whole list from today. This is going to be harder than I thought," Robin comments.

"Yeah," he sighs. "I guess it is."

They sit in silence for a moment, thinking about how they will ever come up with a name. They couldn't even agree on a wedding caterer.

"I think I have an idea," Robin announces. "I think that we should come up with a list of names we like. Then we come back together, we compare our lists, and we discuss the ones we have in common."

"Sounds like a plan. When are we doing this?" he asks.

"How about tomorrow over dinner? You can pick up some sushi."

"Works for me."

"Alright. I've got spicy tuna rolls for me, and California rolls for you," Barney says, "and the barbecue sauce and honey mustard you wanted," he shutters.

"It's delicious. You should try it," Robin insists.

"No, it's a bizarre craving. A gross," he spits, "bizarre craving,"

"Let's just start. I already told you some of my picks yesterday. How about you go first."

"Ok. Piper," Barney suggests.

"That sounds like a stripper," Robin retorts. "How about Kenley?"

"That is a hippie if I ever heard one. And I was one," Barney quips. "Cecilia?"

"If you want Marshall to make a chart about her, then yes, go ahead name her Cecilia. Sydney?"

"That is a city is Europe," he stresses, "and besides, I don't want to name my daughter after a place."

"It is actually in Australia," she stresses, "and I guess that rules out London, Brooklyn, Savannah, Adalaide, and Dakota then."

"Yep. Ooo…" he exclaims. "How about Parker?"

"That is a boy name. Kylie?"

"You once said, and I quote, that 'girls whose names end in ly are always dirty, and don't even get me started on girls whose names should end in y but instead end in i. Those girls are like roller coasters.' So no. Get rid of every name on your list that ends in ly."

"So Riley, Kaylee, Brinley, Callie, and Ellie are all out?"

"Yep. Camilla?"

"What is she going to be the Queen of England?"

"So does that rule out Diana too?"

"Yes, Canada," he spits out, "it does."

"Fine. Daniella."

"Nope. Harper."

"Too celebrity. April."

"I am not naming our daughter after a month," he scorns. "Next."

"Shaelyn."

"Hippie. Alexandra."

"Too common. Mackenzie?"

"Too common. How about Serenity?"

"No. Nothing religious. Nothing about miracles, or joys, or destinies. You know I don't believe in that crap," Robin sneers.

"Fine. Taylor?"

"Not bad. I'll think about that one. Ava?"

"Not bad either. Sage."

"One, that sounds like a spice," she says in disgust. "Two, that sounds like a hippie. We both know this girl is way too awesome to have a hippie name. So get rid of anything that is a food, or a season, or a flower, or a weird way to say anything earthy."

"Fine. Naomi?"

"Slutty Pumpkin. Evelyn?"

"God no. She is a baby, not an old lady. I thought we went over this already," he starts to raise his voice. "Besides, we are not naming her after Ted."

Robin laughs. She forgot that Ted's middle name is Evelyn. "Point taken," she giggles.

"Eliza?"

"And you are the one telling me to get rid of the old lady names?" she returns to the more hostile retorts. "Mine is at least from this century."

"Arielle?"

"What is this? A Disney movie?" she asks rhetorically. "No way. No Disney characters. Josie?"

"Uggg… just no. Leah?"

"Too close to Leia. You know Ted has had dibs on that name forever. Jada?"

"No."

"Heidi?"

"What is she, a little German girl? No thank you."

"Sophia?"

"Nope. Banged her. Daphne?"

"Seriously? That is the crazy woman that Marshall had to ride from Minnesota with to our wedding."

"I forgot about that. How about Bianca?"

"No. Jacqueline?" she asks hopefully. It is one of her favorites.

"Ah, not bad," he considers. "Put that on the maybe list. Katelyn?"

"God no. There are a million Katelyns out there. Olivia?"

"Too many Olivias too. Marissa?"

"Marissa Heller maybe?" she retorts. "No. How about Satayana?"

"I am pretty sure that is some celebrity's baby name. So... no. Jordan?"

"Maybe. It's not bad. McKenna?"

"Well, we do like scotch, but I don't think we should name our daughter after scotch," he laughs.

"Yeah, you are probably right," she giggles. "We really would win worst parents of the year for that one. How about Jade?"

"Stripper," he exclaims, rolling his eyes.

"Logan?"

"That is a boy. Ashlyn?"

"No. Not at all. I don't like that at all," she replies. "Abigail?"

"That isn't bad. Peyton?"

"Ehh, it's ok. Doesn't really go with Stinson though. Cassidy?"

"Which shortens to Cassie," she retorts, "also known as the girl at our wedding who cried the entire time. No."

"How about Hadley?"

"That sounds like a hippie name. I like Liliana."

"That's way too close to Lily. I thought we agreed that we weren't going to name her after anyone. How about Kennedy?"

"That is a political family. I am not naming our daughter after a political family. No."

"God this is hard," he whines, finally getting tired of the back and forth with her.

"You know what? Why don't we just trade lists, and we can cross out the names we don't like, and you can cross out names of girls you've slept with and we can see what we have left. Then we can discuss the short list."

"Awesome, cause I'm tired of arguing," Barney agrees, while stealing her list from her hands.

Robin picks up his list from where he dropped it on the bed in the haste to get hers. She doesn't quite know how they will ever come up with a name. They haven't had one they fully agreed on yet. Regardless, maybe just doing it this way will make it easier. It is unnerving to hold her daughter's future in her hands like this. There is so much that will ride on her name. Her entire identity will be defined by this moment between her and Barney. To top it off, he has some of the most bizarre names out there. She has no idea how they will ever do justice to their daughter.

He doesn't know how they are going to make this work. He has never named anything in his life, except for the holidays he made up that is. He has never named anything quite so important. Hell, he never even had a pet to name growing up. It scares him to think that any stupid decision that they make on her name right now could lead to the endless teasing that he had to endure growing up because of his name. He is just worried that they won't end up agreeing on any name, since all of her names are a bit boring.

The only noise that either of them hear for the next five minutes is the sound of pens scraping against rustling paper. Both of them are completely engrossed in not screwing up their daughter's future.

"Ok. I think I am done," Barney says quietly.

"I am almost done. Give me a minute," Robin shushes him. She makes a few more pen strokes before she looks at him. "Ok."

"How many do you have?" Barney asks.

"Five. You?"

"Six."

"You read yours first, and then I will read mine."

"Okay. Ava, Mia, Elizabeth, Brianna, Jacqueline, and Peyton," Barney reads from Robin's list.

"Taylor, Brianna, Jordan, Abigail, and Juliana," robin reads from Barney's list.

"Brianna. Brianna. Did we really both have Brianna on our list?" He questions.

"Yes. We did. Is that it? Is Brianna it?" Robin wonders aloud.

"I don't know? Brianna Stinson."

"It certainly has a nice ring to it. Brianna Stinson."

"I like it," Barney says with a grin, while reaching out to touch the bump.

"I do too, but I think that we shouldn't make the decision tonight," she sighs. "We should think about it for a couple of days. We have a while till she is born, and I don't want to make a rash decision and have to change her name later."

"I agree."

"Oh, and I don't think we should tell anyone. We don't want Ted and Tracy to steal the name."

"True."

"So for the next few days, let's think it over, just the two of us."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Her name is Brianna," Robin exclaims one afternoon when Barney stops by for lunch.

"Why? I mean I love the name, but why are you so sure?"

"I started calling her Brianna, and every time I call her Brianna, she kicks," Robin explains happily.

"Brianna it is then," Barney declares. "If she likes it that much, then I do too."

"Me too." They grin at each other like fools, because it's not just the baby anymore. She has a name. She is Brianna.

"Quick question though. What about her middle name?"

"Aww crap."

10/23/14

Baby girl is now almost a foot long, but she is so curled up, that she is about the size of a grapefruit. Although, it feels like I have so much more than a grapefruit in there. She is also hearing everything that is going on outside of me. Even scarier, is she is now mature enough to be born and still be able to survive.

So what was one of the first things that she heard this week? Her parents arguing over her name. We are pretty sure that we have picked a name, but we aren't going to share until after her birth, just in case we change our minds. But even after living with it, and calling her by it for a few days, we are pretty sure we are in love with it, and she loves it too! She kicks almost every time she hears it.

We still haven't figured out a middle name. We can't seem to find one that we like to go along with the first name that we have chosen, but we still have time to figure that out.