This one is a lot longer than normal. I hope you like it. Anyway, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.
1-Up Girl: Chapter 15.
(Whimsy Valley, Mewni: ten days later)
The world was but a snow white dreamland.
No Sky.
No Earth.
No Past.
No Future.
No Pain.
No Sorrow.
Nothing but the whiteness… and voices.
"So, Marcus, who's our next patient?" asked one voice; sounding as though it belonged to a much older gentleman.
"Just a moment, Dr. Brando. I'm almost done recalibrating the machine." Replied another voice; sounding much younger than the one before. "There we go. Now let me see… ah, here it is. Mr. David Matthews. Age 27. Admitted to the Oakridge Asylum in Kennebunkport, Maine almost eighteen months ago. Apparently, a man broke into his home one night and eviscerated his pregnant wife right in front of him. Poor fellow's been like this ever since. Never talks. Barely eats. Lost in his own little world. Probably doesn't even know we're here."
"Tragic. Truly tragic." The first voice said with hollow sympathy. "Oh well, no since crying over spilt milk. Is the device ready yet?"
"Yes, Doctor. Primed and ready."
"Excellent. Let's start him off with something simple. One hundred volts should do the trick. Prepare to engage on my signal."
"Yes, Doctor."
BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!
"And somebody shut up that dog!"
Click.
Brando awoke suddenly in a cold sweat.
No longer was he in the milky void with the faceless voices.
He was back in his tent in Whimsy Valley; sitting upon his makeshift throne of plywood and scrap iron.
His loyal pet, Mr. Jones, was on his perch; sleeping soundly and dreaming his own little dreams.
A dream.
That's all it had been.
Just a fragmented remnant of a much darker time.
Nothing more.
Best to just forget about it. After all, there was only one dream that truly mattered. The one that would soon come true.
The Dream of Utopia.
"Master." Said a familiar monotone voice; shaking the aged Stand User out of his thoughts. "I have returned."
At the mouth of the tent stood a tall Mewman woman with long purple pigtails and twin buns. Once she had been Mina Loveberry, the celebrated defender of Mewni. Now she was little more than a tool. Just a robot made of meat.
"Ah, Mina. So good to have you back." Brando said amusedly as his pawn stepped through the flap and kneeled before him. "What have you to report?"
"All goes according to your design, my Master." Mina replied robotically; her eyes glazed and lifeless. "As of this afternoon, over 65% of Mewni's Monster population have been converted into Stand Users. And of the remaining 35%, over 25% are either too young, too old, or too sickly to be of any use. Our army has nearly reached the highest possible number of powerful, able-bodied Stand Users."
"Good… Good…" he said with a sinister sort of smirk; showing off his hideous rotten teeth. "And what of our Mewman soldiers?"
"At present, our army consists of roughly twenty thousand Mewman soldiers. But that number is expected to rise steadily once our campaign begins."
"Explain."
"The child suicide bombings have stirred up longstanding feelings of mistrust and resentment towards the royal family. While many members of noble and military families still support Queen Moon, the rumor mill runs rampant amongst the rank and file. Many ordinary citizens, particularly those from farming communities near the kingdom's borders, wish to see the Butterflies removed from power, but do not voice these opinions publicly for fear of reprisal. However, once our initial attacks begin in the outer territories, it is likely that many of these citizens will willingly join our cause. By the time they reach the capital, our Mewman forces could be as many as thirty thousand or more."
Brando's smile grew even wider. Although he had stripped Mina of her freewill and personality, the Hobyah Man had made sure to restore most of her memories. Having spent so many years as a high-ranking member of the Mewnian Military, her brain was a veritable treasure trove of useful information. And without her numerous disorders mucking up the works, she was now processing that information at optimum efficiency. Which is exactly what you want in a robot.
"Very nice… Very nice…" he said, sounding quite pleased with himself. However, a random thought suddenly popped into his head; a thought that caused him mild distress. "Mina, may I have your opinion on something?"
"Yes, Master."
"Well, as you know, it is my goal to conquer all of Mewni in a single day with zero casualties on our side." He said, making it all sound so simple. "However, it occurs to me that Mewmans and Monsters aren't the only sentient creatures in this dimension. There are other species with kingdoms and armies of their own. And most of them have alliances with Queen Moon. In your opinion, could these other races pose a threat to our plans if they were to intervene? And if so, would it be possible to turn them over to our side before we begin our campaign?"
This time Mina did not answer right away. Instead she sat in silence for a few moments as her cold, logically brain analyzed the data.
"Both scenarios are possible. But neither is very likely." She said at last.
"Oh? How so?"
"While many Mewmans cannot differentiate between Monsters and Demons, they are two completely separate species. And as such, the citizens of the Underworld have never expressed any concerns over the plight of Mewnian Monsters. Furthermore, while the Butterfly and Lucitor Kingdoms have been allies for some time, neither is in anyway obligated to come to the other's aid in times of crisis. In general, Demons are largely self-involved and rarely help others without wanting something in return, and the price for their assistance in a full-scale war would be too high even for Queen Moon to pay. Most of this also applies to the citizens of the Waterfolk Kingdom."
"I see… And what of the other Kingdoms?"
"The citizens of the Pigeon Kingdom are extremely mistrustful of Mewmans. They few our entire species as racist and emotionally unstable. They formed an alliance with the Butterfly Family many years ago out of necessity, but since the Child Suicide Bombing Incidents tensions have risen between the two races. The Pigeons have continuously threatened to pull out of the agreement since the initial bombings and it is likely they will do so within the next few weeks. However, given that our army consists largely of Mewmans, it is highly unlikely that they will be willing to assist us in our quest for a utopian society."
"And the Ponyheads?"
"They are a nonissue, Master. For although they profess to be friends of the Butterfly Family, they are predisposed to sloth, apathy, narcissism, and a sense of self-interest that overshadows even that of Demons. Furthermore, King Ponyhead and his progeny are prone to bouts of hypocrisy, so regardless of what they say in public, they will never fight a war they did not start themselves. Even to help a supposed friend."
"Interesting… So in other words, all that stands between me and my dream of a perfect world is a Child-Queen and her army of toy soldiers. How lovely~"
"Yes, but a word of caution, my Master." The former guardian said soullessly. "The Magic High Commission is sure to intervene if they feel Queen Moon's deposal would upset the balance of power in the universe. And because of their relation to the King, the warriors of the Johansen Kingdom will more than likely join the battle. They are not to be underestimated."
"Your concern is appreciated, Mina. But unnecessary. I've already taken the Johansen Warriors into account and I'm certain they will be just as unprepared for our Stands as the Queen's Knights. And as for the High Commission, I've already taken steps to ensure they won't be an issue. Which reminds me, what time is it?"
"It is exactly 7:29 pm Mewnian Standard Time, my Master."
"Ah~ Perfect timing." The Hobyah Man said most giddily, before switching to a more serious tone. "Mina, I want you to go outside and guard my tent. Make sure no one disturbs me until I give the all clear. Understood?"
"Yes, Master. Your will is my command."
And with that, the obedient mind slave stood up and walked out of the tent; leaving her master to chuckle in amusement.
"Heh-Heh-Heh. Such a helpful little robot." He said as he carefully stood up from his makeshift throne. "Now on to business."
With all the grace and poise of a reanimated corpse, the ancient Stand User slowly shambled over to the far side of the room; where he stopped to stand before a large, ornate mirror.
"Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall. Who's the fairest of them all?" he said jokingly as he gazed into his own hideous reflection. "Not me, that's for sure. Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh."
A few seconds later, presumably at the precise stroke of 7:30, a message flashed across the screen; a message that brought a smile to his haggard face.
LadyHotBod has invited you to join her Chat
Accept or Decline
For the briefest of moments, Brando hesitated to hit Accept. This was not going to be easy. Hekapoo was a sleazy little tramp who was ruled by her lust, but she was no fool. She'd deliberately arranged for this meeting to be held via Magic Mirror to keep him from influencing her thoughts, or those of her associates. And because The Witchdoctor couldn't extend its reach across the Dimensional Divide, the fire witch and her fellow councilmen would see him as he truly was; not as the whimsical King of the Hobyahs, but as the hideous, desiccated, rotten toothed Hobyah Man. Not exactly an endearing visage.
However, given that Hekapoo had already seen his true form and likely told her associates about it, a disguise would be all but useless anyway. And besides, there were much subtler ways to manipulate people. He just needed to be clever about.
No, he was not going to back down. Not after he'd come so far.
Accept
A second later, the screen was split into three sections; each displaying the image of a different fantastic creature. In the upper left stood the fire witch, Hekapoo. While on the right was a floating skull framed in stars. And on the very bottom, in a space slightly larger than the other two, stood the remaining two members of the council; a muscular reptilian with a diamond head, and an aged goat-man in brown robes.
At long last, he was standing before the entire Magic High Commission.
Time to be obsequious.
"Gentleman! Milady. What a tremendous honor it is to finally meet you all face to face." He said, laying it on thicker than an asphalt paver. "I can't tell you how humbled I am to know that four such magnificent beings as yourselves took time out of your busy schedules just to indulge a lowly mortal such as I. I am truly unworthy."
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" bleated to goat-man in a tone that was hard to interpret.
"Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh. Good one, Lekmet." The diamond-head said amusedly. "You really do need boots to listen to this guy."
Naturally, Brando did not find this cheek at all amusing, but he kept his emotions in check.
Anything for the sake of Utopia.
"Yes, yes, well… now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, let's get down to business." The Hobyah Man said professionally. "I assume Hekapoo has already explained my proposal?"
"At great length." The floating skull answered bluntly. "But I'm afraid we cannot comply. What you ask for is too much."
"Too much? Lord Omnitraxus, you wound me. You make it sound as if I'm asking for the universe. All I want is a tiny little patch of land to call my own. And to correct a grave injustice, of which you are all at least partially responsible. Is that so wrong?"
"So what? We should just let you and your Monsters kill Queen Moon and take Mewni for yourselves?" Hekapoo asked accusingly.
"Well… not all of Mewni. Just all the parts the Mewmans took from the Monsters." He replied offhandedly. "And besides, what's the Queen done for anyone lately? Besides blow up a bunch of children."
"That was you!" said Rhombulus, the diamond-head, accusingly. "And don't even try denying it. Hekapoo already told us about your freaky mind powers."
"My, my, how astute of you, Sir Rhombulus." Brando replied almost sarcastically. "But in all seriousness, who amongst us hasn't done something to warrant a death sentence? Omnitraxus, I believe you once erased an entire solar system out of existence, if I'm not mistaken."
"H-H-How do you know about…"
"How I know is not important. What matters is that I do." The Hobyah Man interrupted. "And what of it? That entire region of space had become temporally unstable. The people living there had become frozen in time. If you hadn't erased them it could've spread to the entire universe. You only did what you thought was right and you should be commended for making such a difficult decision. Kudos to you, oh great God of Space Time. Kudos to…"
"Oh, enough of this!" Hekapoo cut in harshly. "You can't just sweettalk your way out of this! You killed nine children!"
"Technically, I only brainwashed them into killing themselves." Brando clarified. "And so what if I did. They were squires. Zealots. They'd been brainwashed their whole lives into hating Monsters. And if they'd grown up, they'd 've only spread more violence and ignorance. At least now their lives had meaning. Thanks to their deaths, I was able to rally the Monsters together and get them to ally themselves with the Mewman farmers. Now Mewmans and Monsters are working together for a common cause. They're brothers and sisters in arms. I did that. Don't you see? I have paved the way for everlasting peace. And that's a hell of a lot more than the Queen's ever done. Let me tell you."
"Dude, you're not really helping your case." Rhombulus said curtly. "I mean, yeah, we've done some shady things in the past, but always for the good of the universe. You're only looking out for yourself."
"Am I?" the Hobyah Man asked rhetorically. "True, I desire to conquer this land and make myself the king. But in the process of doing so, I have singlehandedly prevented a potential catastrophe that you've all been dreading for quite some time."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Hekapoo asked annoyedly.
"My friends, it's no secret that you've always been terrified by the prospect of Monsters gaining the power of Magic. As well you should. Because as we all know, Magic is a precious resource. And if too many people are using it, and using it irresponsibly, it could damage the fabric of reality." He explained, his every word practically dripping with slime. "However, thanks to my influence, not only have the Monsters lost interest in attaining Magic, but they have lost the potential for it all together. With their Stands awakened, whatever connections they once had to the Realm of Magic have been severed. And over the next few generations this will become permanent. The Monsters will never be able to use Magic, ever. My friends, I have singlehandedly prevented a universe ending disaster before it even began."
"That's… true." Omnitraxus admitted begrudgingly. "But still, we can't just let you take Mewni. We have an obligation to the Butterfly Family."
"True… But don't you also have a larger obligation to the universe as a whole?" the Hobyah Man reasoned. "And let's be honest, I'm only asking for one little Kingdom. What's one little patch of dirt in the grand scheme of things?"
"Queen Moon is a member of the Commission. We can't just hang her out to dry." The fire witch argued.
"This is also true. But isn't her seat on the council just a formality? Useful only as a tiebreaker and to create the illusion of fairness and equality."
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lekmet bleated indignantly.
"Lekmet's right, you hold your tongue!" Rhombulus translated. "A Queen of Mewni has always sat on this council. Always has, always will. It's our way."
"Yes, yes, I'm aware of your traditions. But technically the rules only specify that that seat must be reserved for the most powerful mortal Magic User in the universe. And really, anyone who masters the Royal Wand will that fit that criteria quite nicely. So finding a suitable replacement will be child's play. I mean… it's not like you've never done that sort of thing before."
The looks of horror on the commissioners faces were absolutely priceless.
"You… You wrinkly old bastard!" Hekapoo exploded. "You read my mind, didn't you!"
"Yes, during our first encounter. Call it a bad habit. But don't worry, I have no intention of revealing that little incident to anybody. I merely used it as an example to prove my point. That no one is irreplaceable." Brando said slyly. "And besides, you're going to need to find a replacement soon anyway. What with the Princess' condition and all?"
"What?" the four all asked confusedly.
"My friends, surely Lady Hekapoo has informed you that Princess Star has developed a Stand of her own. And as we all know, Magic and Stands are polar opposites. They cannot both exist within the same body. As Star's Stand grows stronger, her connection to the Realm of Magic grows weaker. Before long she'll be unable to use any magic at all, and the Wand will be as useful to her as a child's toy. So you can either find a replacement now when you have a good excuse, or wait 'til later when it will be harder to explain to the public."
This time no one responded right away. The four commissioners seemed lost in their own thoughts. It wasn't until a few minutes later when Omnitraxus finally broke the silence.
"You make a lot of good points, human." He admitted begrudgingly. "But I'm afraid you've overlooked one major detail. Namely Glossaryk."
"Glossaryk?
"Yes, that's right. Glossaryk. The wisest and most powerful being in all the known universe. He created this council, and in his infinity wisdom he has never once wavered in his duty to the Butterfly Family. So I see no reason why we shouldn't do the same."
"If Glossaryk is so loyal then why did he leave?" Brando asked almost tauntingly.
"What?" this time only three of them said in unison.
"Oh, I'm sorry, didn't you all know? Glossaryk and the Spell Book were stolen some time ago. And when Star went to rescue him he refused to come back. Clearly he has no more faith in the Butterfly Family than I do."
"No… that… That can't be true."
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Why you lying little weasel! I'm gonna…"
"No… he's right." Rhombulus cut in, sounding both despondent and a little ashamed. "I… I spoke with Princess Star a couple nights ago. She told me everything. Everything he just said is the truth."
Once again, the commissioners all fell silent.
"I… I can't believe this." Hekapoo said, sounding completely thunderstruck. "How could she keep this from us? Why didn't the Queen tell us about this?"
"I assume for the same reason you still haven't told her about me. She was worried how you might react." The Hobyah Man said with a smirk befitting a silent movie villain. "She didn't tell you about Glossaryk, and you didn't tell her who was really behind those suicide bombings. Sounds to me like a fundamental lack of trust. And if you can't trust each other, how can you expect to work together for the good of all Magic?"
For the third time none of the commissioners knew what to say. But they all suddenly got a very serious look on their faces.
"If we agree to this, hypothetically speaking, what exactly would we have to do?" Omnitraxus asked after an eternity of silence.
"Absolutely nothing." Brando answered cheerily. "Just go about your own business and let fate decide who should rule this land. If the Queen wins, everything goes back to normal. If I win, you can just take the Wand and find a new mortal to wield it. Either way, you all have nothing to lose."
"I see…" the floating skull said thoughtfully. "Of course, you realize we can't give you our answer right away. This is a very delicate matter and we must all think it through carefully."
"But of course, take all the time you need."
"Yeah… but while we think about it, maybe there's something you can do for us that will… influence our decision." Hekapoo said shrewdly. "You see, we've got this little… issue. For the last few months, someone or something has been draining all the Magic out of the universe. It's not serious yet, but it's causing all sorts of problems, and none of us can figure out what's causing it. But maybe, just maybe, you can."
"What exactly are you getting at, Hekapoo?"
"Oh, I'm not getting at anything." The fire witch replied coyly. "I'm just saying that, hypothetically, if you were to use your mental powers to find whoever was responsible for this Fritz and put a stop to it, we might be a little more open to your request."
"Oh really?" the Hobyah Man said as his face split into a rather grotesque smile. "Please, tell me more."
End Notes:
All that's left now is the epilogue and then I'm going on an extra long hiatus to work on my Adventure Time fic which I've been neglecting. FYI, I'm going on vacation next week and I'm not bringing my laptop for reasons. I'll try to have the epilogue out before I leave but I make no promises. So if the final chapter is pushed back a week that's why. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you in the epilogue.
Peace.