Chapter Thirteen – The Truth is Hard to Tell

Olivia brushed her hair away from her face and looked at herself in the mirror once more. She'd decided on a sleeveless dark purple dress that fit surprisingly well. It clung to her body but not to an uncomfortable extent. She'd switched out her usual necklaces for something a bit more delicate, though still simple. Her hair was still too short to do anything fancy with, and she'd kept her make-up relatively light. Olivia smoothed her dress down her sides and sighed. What she saw in the mirror was probably as good as it was going to get.

"What do you think, Suvi?"

He was camped out in the doorway of the bathroom. His pale fur was smoothed back and wispy from all of the brushing he'd had earlier that day. While Olivia always kept him looking nice enough to go out in public and walk into any store, she'd spend extra time with him that day. It showed too.

Suvi lifted his head off the floor and wagged his tail. Olivia was going to take that as approval. Hopefully Ben would agree with Suvi's assessment.

"Alright, buddy. Let's go."

Vest and leash secure they headed out of the building and hailed a cab. When the cab arrived outside of Bertrolli's Olivia spotted Ben waiting nearby. She paid the cabbie and stepped out, Suvi at her side. Ben nearly did a double take when he saw her.

"Wow, that... is not what I was expecting."

Olivia looked down and rubbed her thumb along the edge of Suvi's leash.

"You look amazing, buddy."

Ben knelt slightly and ruffled Suvi's ears, shocking Olivia. She definitely hadn't thought Suvi was the source of Ben's surprise. When Ben stood up he shocked Olivia again.

"And you look beautiful."

A tiny smile spread across her face.

"Thank you."

"Actually believe me this time, huh?"

"Maybe."

"I hope you don't mind, but when I called to make us a reservation I told them about Suvi. I was hoping it would make the evening easier for you if you knew they would let you in."

"I don't mind. I've actually done the same myself sometimes. It's not necessary, but it does save some trouble."

She was becoming more comfortable with going places without giving warning of Suvi's presence, but it could still be unsettling. If she was planning on going anywhere bigger than a café or small restaurant she usually called ahead. Maybe at some point she would feel comfortable enough to walk into a well-known establishment without warning, but she wasn't there yet. Getting into a fight about whether or not she could enter always ruined an evening.

"That's kind of what I figured," Ben replied.

"Smart guy."

"Despite what I may look like, I have a lot going on up here," he told her as he tapped lightly on his forehead.

"Amazingly enough I did know that."

"See? I knew you were smart."

With that said Ben turned and opened the door for her. Olivia walked in and was pleasantly surprised to find that while the restaurant was obviously nice it wasn't at an excruciatingly high society level. It was more than appropriate for a first date without overdoing it, and the food should be good but affordable. As they were led to their seats Olivia took the place in. The clientele was somewhat mixed in terms of age and the types of groups dining together, but she didn't see any families. It was obviously more of a date night or professional meeting place. Once they were seated Olivia settled Suvi under the table next to her feet. He would be close to her and out of the way of passing servers that way. It wasn't long before they put in their orders, Olivia choosing iced tea and a seafood alfredo while Ben went for sprite and lasagna.

"You know, I wasn't completely sure you were going to show up tonight," Ben told her when they were alone again.

"If I had decided not to come I would have called first."

She couldn't blame him for considering the possibility though. It wasn't like she'd been overly enthusiastic about the prospect of dinner. In fact, one of the reasons she'd agreed in the first place was because she knew she could back out later.

"Good to know I would rate a phone call," he teased lightly.

"Ben, it has nothing to do with you personally. I just…"

"It's okay, Olivia. I've known you're hesitant pretty much since we first met. The fact that you're giving me a chance is a gold star in my book."

"You do have low standards."

"Hardly. I just know I'm up against someone that isn't going to make anything easy."

"Nobody ever said I was easy to deal with."

"Hey, sometimes the best things are the hardest to get."

"You keep surprising me," she told him softly with her head bowed.

Every time she threw up a roadblock or he found a bump in the road he overcame it. He didn't just blast through like most would though. His methods were much more creative. Somehow he managed to dance around her roadblocks and leap frog over the bumps. It was actually working too.

"With two brothers and a sister I've learned to be creative. And, like I said before, I see things differently."

"I noticed."

She'd thought she'd started to figure him out, but at every turn he was proving her wrong.

"You and your brother looked like you were really close."

"Cole would definitely be the sibling I'm closest to. We've been close since we were kids even with the age difference." He shrugged. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Ah, no. It was just me and my mom growing up."

She was willing to give Ben bits and pieces of her childhood, but most of that would stay under wraps. Ben had just shouldered one of her larger pieces of baggage. Handing him something else so soon would not be a good idea. He may have taken the news about Suvi well, but he didn't know everything about her disability. She simply couldn't count on his understanding continuing unabated.

"Were you raised here?"

"From day one. You?"

"Jersey. My parents and sister still live out there."

"Wanted to be a city boy, huh?"

"We all did for different reasons. You grow up seeing the city across the river…" He shrugged.

"All you thought it would be?"

"It's New York. There are always surprises, good and bad."

Before Olivia could ask him more about that, their meals came. They slipped into more of a silence as they ate. Discussion drifted in and out, but Olivia still found herself laughing from time to time. She should have expected as much. The meal was really one of the few times they'd had a long, personal discussion. She'd learned a lot about him, some of it expected and some not. He loved basketball, still participated in family holidays (some of which he even did the cooking for), and had an eclectic taste in music. He'd nearly been to more concerts than she'd been to movies and could remember most of them too. It was rather remarkable.

"I'm really impressed," Ben told her as he put his fork down.

"With what?"

"Suvi. He hasn't fussed all night. I don't even think he's moved."

Olivia smiled softly. When she'd first gotten Suvi and had finally been comfortable with taking him out to places where he needed to be still for long periods of time she'd been impressed too. He rarely even fidgeted once she ordered him to lie down and wait.

"He hasn't," she confirmed.

"Hasn't tried to beg for food either. Jerry is pretty well trained, but that doesn't stop him from begging."

"He begs at home, but it's more subtle than you would expect. No noise or pawing, he'll just watch you very closely."

"Waiting until you're not looking to steal something?"

"No, he knows better. Of course that doesn't stop him from doing exactly that with blankets."

"Walk back into the room and find your spot claimed, huh?"

"Sometimes. Usually my spot is still open but the blanket I'd left on it has been relocated."

Ben grinned.

"I can see him doing that. Bet he isn't the least bit apologetic either."

"No. More satisfied."

"How long have you had him?"

"A little over a year."

A year. That meant that whatever challenge she was dealing with had been present for at least that long. He would guess it had been longer than that though. She couldn't possibly have gotten Suvi right away. Ben wanted to ask her more so he would understand what she was facing, but he really didn't know how. Navigating with Olivia so far had required a very gentle touch. That was when he had considered the ground he was walking on safe. To ask what he wanted to now would mean walking into a minefield. It would be incredibly easy to upset her.

"I get why you're so close then," he replied instead of treading into dangerous territory.

Ben may not have asked, but Olivia knew he wanted to. She could literally read it on his face like a glowing neon sign. The fact that he hadn't said anything about it yet was honestly a bit surprising. Ever since she'd told him about Suvi she'd expected an onslaught of questions. If the fact that Suvi was a service dog hadn't sent him running then chances were at least decent that the answers to his unspoken questions wouldn't either. That knowledge didn't make it much easier to discuss with him. Even if he didn't ask and she didn't share though, her seizures wouldn't cooperate forever.

"You can ask you know."

"What?"

"About why I need him. I can see that you want to. It's okay."

"I do, but I figure you'll tell me what I need to know and whatever you want me to know when you're ready. I can wait until then."

"And if I didn't?"

"Then I guess there's nothing I need to know."

"Again with the surprises," Olivia said with a small shake of her head. "Still, I think I'll wait until we're on our way out so you don't feel awkward having to wait for a chance to leave."

"Should I be tightening my laces just to be safe?"

Ben was joking and Olivia knew that, but the possibility of his joke becoming reality was there. She looked down and fingered at her napkin. A gentle touch on the back of her other hand drew her eyes up again.

"Olivia, I can't promise that whatever it is you are going to tell me won't scare me, but I can promise it won't scare me away."

"You can't be sure of that."

"Yes I can."

"Ben, you really don't know me that well. You don't know what you're getting into."

His fingers slid from lightly touching the back of her hand to curling around it. A calculated risk but one he felt comfortable making. The risk brought him a gentle smile from Olivia in return.

"That may be true, but I'm still going to wait."

It was safer that way for both of them. She wouldn't be any more comfortable dealing with the likely awkward silence that would follow than he would. Waiting until later would provide them both with a fast yet polite getaway if needed.

"I can wait until after the check."

He wouldn't have to wait long anyway since they'd both finished their meals. After the check had arrived and Ben had paid they all stood to leave. Ben watched in amazement as Suvi picked up the end of his leash and handed it to Olivia without her needing to say a word. He'd never seen this calm, completely professional side of the dog before. Suvi had always struck him as a happy, playful, and loving pet. The loving happiness was still there, but he no longer looked like he had barely restrained energy. He was walking placidly beside Olivia despite everything going on around him.

They threaded their way through Bertrolli's, and Ben held the door open for Olivia and Suvi as they walked outside. Together they headed down the street. Ben could tell pretty quickly that she was becoming more and more tense. Unfortunately he had no idea how to turn that back around again.

"Hey. Forget telling me anything. It's already upsetting you, and I don't want that."

"And I don't want you to give me an out right now."

She grabbed his arm and led him as far to one side of the sidewalk as she could so they were out of the way. Gathering her courage, she rested her hand on Suvi's head automatically. Before she could talk herself out of telling Ben the truth she blurted it all out.

"I have a seizure disorder from a serious head injury that happened a little over two years ago."

Ben forced himself not to react right away despite the million questions he had bouncing around in his head.

"Not so hard, huh?" He caught the tiny smile on her face before she looked down and he smiled as well. "They must not be too bad if I haven't seen you have any."

"They're moderately managed, but I have to admit that it was mostly luck. I'm really just as surprised as you are that I haven't had one in front of you yet."

"And I haven't run away yet. You are lucky."

Olivia rolled her eyes and started back down the street without warning. Ben ended up needing to jog a few steps to catch up with her.

"Now look who's running away," he teased.

"If I were running you wouldn't have been able to catch up."