NOTES:

Okay, so I don't know when I'm going to update next as I have exams coming up in a week. To apologize, I wrote an extra long chapter...

Constructive critism is welcome :D

DISCLAIMER- I don't own Marvel's Agents of SHIELD (that would be awesome if I did but sadly I don't) but I do own Callum (Max), Jay, Russell and Mason. As other characters are introduced later on in the story, I will add a reminder of who or what I do and do not own...

Enjoy... (and please review!)

Chapter Three: The Pain Inside (Blood on the Dancefloor: I Hope You Choke)

This world is just so fucked up, my life is just so messed up!/ Nothing makes sense in a world that is so dead. The bleeding in my heart are from these stitches that are falling apart/ You make me sick from all this shit/ How could you ever do this? I gave you my heart and you just ripped it apart/ I tasted your blood and you just wasted my love. You threw it away/ It was so fragile and fray. Silver & Gray/ Like judgement day. I hope you choke/ I hope you know the pain inside just multiplies. I lost my grip/ I'm about to slit. Love is cruel, remember this. Protect yourself from the fighting fists/ Covered wrists/ So deep it fits. It's killing me, it's tearing me. I can't forget/ I can't regret.

I let myself go for the first time in 4 years. I sob shamelessly, draped over his dead body. Only once before have I felt such despair, hopelessness and anger. Guilt threatens to destroy me as the 'what if's' start to creep in: what if I had gotten here earlier? What if I had killed all the guards and done my job properly? What if? What if? What if...?

Feeling the bile rise up my throat, I jerk away from Mason's corpse. Just in time. I vomit on the floor. The beginnings of a headache are starting to form- a sign that I need to stop over- stressing myself. Keep it together. I have to stop myself from falling apart, for the sake of his daughter, and for my own sake. But at this moment in time I can't look away from the carcass in front of me. Even dead: the gentle smile sitting on his lips, the way his arms are wrapped around his waist. I know that had his eyes been open, there would be the unmistakeable twinkle of sarcasm- his way of calling somebody an idiot without opening his mouth.

Suppressing the sobs that threaten to break lose doesn't work and as I sit there, broken, I sob my heart out as I remember all the good moments we shared, all the bad times we had each others' backs- never again. Fury bubbles deep inside me as I think about what I'm going to do when I find the people responsible. Torture... and then a very slow death.

I gather all the rage within and channel it. An ear-splitting scream of anguish and loss follows. By the time it's finished, my voice is hoarse and my throat sore.

The sound of footsteps wakes me up from my slumber. I didn't even realise I was asleep. No, not asleep, more like a trance. My body was in a daze to allow my brain to catch up with the events of today, to give my body a chance to rest without compromising my position or state.

Without pondering too much on who is outside- I can take anyone one- I gaze upon the body of my fallen comrade once again, for the very last time. I'm not stupid; I know I can't take the body with me. Oh what I'd give to be able to bury him, but that's a luxury I'm afraid I can't afford. My life or his body is the choice I'm struck with. I'm alive and he's dead. He is past the point of salvation, I am not. It's an unwritten code in our- my line of work: the dead get left behind, the living move forward. 'Alvos aptissimum'- Survival of the fittest.

I lean forward and kiss his forehead. "This is goodbye. I love you, you were just like a brother to me." I sigh, "I hope that you're reunited with her again somewhere. Rest in peace, mejor amigo".

I rise and realise something's wrong. I heard footsteps about 10 minutes ago. Why haven't they come in yet? Moving towards the door of the torture chamber, I vaguely remember shutting the door earlier when I was moving Mason to rest against a wall. The slight smell of tar hits my nostrils, it takes me a fraction of a second to realise where it's coming from and dive out of the way as the door is blasted open with C4.

Sprawled on the floor with my hands over my head, I don't see the flash-bang grenade rolling towards me until it explodes. I press my hands to my ears, nearly crushing my skull but I don't care- anything to stop the impossibly loud ringing. I can't hear anything. There are tears in my eyes from the noise. Everything slows down...

There's only one door to escape from; the same door my attackers are going to be using any second to enter the cell. My bones feel like they're made of lead and my muscles won't listen to my brain. I steady myself against the wall and stand groggily, the ringing hasn't quite stopped yet but I still get my bearings. I don't have a gun. I can't risk crossing the room to get a knife. I'll have to take my chances...

Cautiously, I walk towards the, well ex-door, the hole in the wall where the door was. Poor door, I think. I cock my head to the side but don't hear anything from outside. Are they still there? I hear someone loading a clip into a gun and don't wait another second. Sprinting, I burst out of the torture chamber and zip past two people in black ops gear. They stand in shock for a couple of seconds before speeding after me. They are good.

There are two: a man, probably late 20's, early 30's and a woman who seems to be in her late 30's, maybe early 40's. From the glance I caught of their faces I can only recall that one was tall and the other was shorter.

I dart around a corner and run down an enormous hallway. When I get half way across, I spare a glance behind me. The woman is saying something, her hand on her ear. She is communicating with somebody. This is not good. How many more of them are there? The man is catching up fast and I turn around, abandoning my plans at studying him. There is another door coming up and I barge into it, the flimsy thing is blown off it's hinges. I carry on running until the corridor ends. Shit, it's a dead end. No it's not- there's a my-sort-of size window and I see the fire escape ladder. YES! The tide has finally turned my way.

I take a step forward but my sixth sense screams at me and I turn around and deliver a powerful round house kick at the exact moment the male agent lunges for me. He collapses with a yell. It's only too late I realise what he did. I hear a shout: "WARD!" This Ward is obviously well trained and informed extensively on my reputation. I can't waste time killing him if I don't want to be caught and now the other one-the female- knows my position. Stupid bastard. I resist the urge to kick him again in the ribs and dash into the window.

Yes, into. Glass smashes as I plunge downwards, but I've timed it perfectly. I twist in midair and grab the ladder with my hands. Legs splaying below me, I take the risk and let go. I can stand a broken leg but not capture, I can't afford to let them take me- whoever they happen to be. Luckily, I land on grass with a sore side and am up on my feet in seconds. I loop around the building so that I can reach the ladder near the left corner closest to me. I studied the plans of the warehouse's infrastructure before coming here, making sure I had the maximum amount of exits planned in the case of an emergency. Like... um, NOW!

As I reach for the ladder, a helicopter flies directly overhead and I nearly have a heart attack until I see the pilot. Russell to the rescue! Here was me thinking he'd bailed on me. Although, he was supposed to pick me up in Venice tomorrow. So how did he know where to find me? Pushing that thought from my mind, I look up at him in the cockpit through the glass. He's miming something to me: Ace? I shake my head and he gets the hint, his eyes saddening slightly. He turns to speak to somebody with him on the plane and a comms unit is thrown at me. Russell motions to the roof of the warehouse and signals that he will provide sky cover for me.

I nod my head to show him I understand. Euphoria streams through me as adrenaline pumps in my veins. I'm going home! After picking up the object which provides the only link to someone I actually trust enough to call family, I climb up the ladder as fast as I can go, mind only on the task at hand- no thoughts spared for the operatives after me and that is my biggest error.

You should always take into account your surroundings. As I reach half way up the ladder, shots ring against the metal frame the ladder is encased in and bullets embed themselves in the brick work. I stop for a fraction of a second, make my decision (slightly suicidal decision should I say) and half scramble the rest of the way up the ladder.

When I reach the top I search for Russell's 'copter and I see it hovering about 50 metres away from me, shooting at an unseen- from my viewpoint- object which is obscured by a small forest of trees. Suddenly, it's as if a giant has let out a roar: fast winds sweep across the top of the trees and whip against the helicopter's side and then everything goes wrong.

Huge dents appear in the metal framework of the chopper as booms declare the now obviously inescapable truth: there is no getting away from here for me, Russell is outgunned and outmatched. The comms unit in my ear suddenly crackles to life- I hadn't even realised I had put it in my ear... I guess old habits die hard.

"Max, I'm- SHIT, what the fuck?"

I watch as the plane starts spiralling in the air.

"Russell, listen, you have to leave right now. Do you understand?" I say very, very calmly.

I wait for his reply. "Dude, shut the fuck up. Can you get to the- DUDE SHOOT THE FUCKERS!" He shouts.

"Who's with you?" I ask, knowing full well who it might be.

"Jay, duh, who else. Okay, I'm gonna try to come over there and get you." He announces.

I sigh, "Dude, what is the possibility that you can get the chopper here, get me and get all three of us out of here?"

"Well", he retorts, "only about... 100%"

"I mean alive." I state.

Silence. "Oh", he replies, "that's marginally lower".

"Me and you both know that Jay is Sabina's life, she is pregnant with his child and she will die if she loses him." My voice breaks. Dangerous waters. "Sabina is like a little sister to me and whoever is responsible for her death will feel pain beyond measure", my voice has become deadly quiet, I am serious, "you will leave here and get Jay back to her. And you will keep yourself safe."

I can feel him deliberating and finally I hear him shout something at Jay. Russell has made the right decision and a smile plays across my face as the helicopter rises, straightens and then zooms into the distance. I can tell he's angry with me. No man left behind. He didn't even reply. I sigh. That's a problem for another day.

Well that avenue's closed. The question still remains: how the flippin' hell do I get out of here?

I hear footsteps behind me and realise I am standing on the edge of the roof, staring in the direction the 'copter disappeared. I whirl around and five metres away stands an emotionless man in a grey suit. Uh oh. Behind him stand the two agents from before- a Chinese lady who looks almost bored but stares at me and the guy who I kicked. He doesn't look happy and if the glare he's giving me is anything to go by, he's not going to hold back if I give him any reason to attack.

The man in front takes a step forward towards me and on almost of a reflex, I take a step back. And nearly fall of the fucking roof. The two agents who chased me have slight smirks on their faces but the man in front looks, I dunno... concerned. I survey the area even though I already have the whole roof plan in my head, the roof is 100 metres long, with chimneys and walls of stacked bricks which would provide the perfect cover. There is a lake on the far side of the roof. 100 metres away. I could dive in. Plans are already formulating in my head as the man in front- seemingly the one in charge- speaks.

He speaks slowly, his voice full of serenity and tranquillity, "we are not here to hurt you Callum." My head whips towards him. Nobody, nobody knows that name. He nods his head at me, my reaction has not gone unnoticed. "My name is Agent Coulson and these are Agents May and Ward." I stare at them all in turn, warily. "We are with SHIELD, and we would just like to -". My mind was made up when he uttered the name of that organisation and my feet slap against the concrete as I bolt across the roof. A sharp pain suddenly registers with me as my left arm is shot. No blood. That's strange. I look back and see all three striding towards me confidently.

Okay, let's give these motherfuckers something to piss themselves on. I reach the end of the roof and stare down, shocked. Fuck! The lake is still there, no doubt about it, but metal rods are strategically placed around the lake, creating an electronic surge through the waters.

Basically, that ways is a no go, unless I want to die.

Dangerously depressing memories make their way to the surface of my mind and It's like I'me reliving the horrors. So what if I jump? Who's going to miss me? I was dead a long time ago anyway. At least I'll be with her... As I begin to take the final step into oblivion, Coulson speaks, " Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", I snort, didn't realise we had the Buddha amongst us. "You're young, you're life is full of possibilities. We can help you but you have to let us"

I'm lost in thought now. Her face. Her eyes. The blood. It's all flooding back now, all the memories I suppressed, locked away to keep me sane have broken free and it hurts. The anguish reaches my heart and it feels like a bomb is going off in my chest. Coulson sees my eyes and panics.

"It doesn't have to end like this", he implores.

"We've been invisible all our life so what's the point now?" I mutter, just quiet enough for me and only me to hear.

"What?" he asks, confused, eyes darting to my arm.

I remember the bloodless pain and look down at my left sleeve. There's a syringe poking out. Oh crap. My knees feel weak and have for a few minutes but I was too stubborn to acknowledge it. My head fogs and I struggle to stay upright. Seeing me fight against consciousness, the tall one- Agent Ward walks towards me.

"No!" I gasp, taking a step closer to the edge.

Coulson puts his hands up and looks me in the eye. "It's okay son, you're safe here, we won't hurt you I promise but you have to get away from there."

I'm still staring into his blue eyes when I crumple, my legs unable to support me any longer. I would have hit the floor if it wasn't for Coulson who is suddenly at my side, holding me in his arms as I lose my battle against the darkness.

I close my eyes...