I thought I'd try my hand at a dialogue-only story.
Full disclosure, I wrote this while camping, and one of my parents' favourite activities (but not mine) while camping is going canoeing. They were actually out canoeing while I was writing this and babysitting the dog.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Marvel Cinematic Universe or any of the characters contained therein.
WORD COUNT: 538
"I want it on record that this was not my fault."
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"I mean, seriously, I told the canoe rental guy that this thing was too old and worn to be safe!"
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"I told you that this thing was too old and worn to be safe!"
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"I seriously thought you would have agreed with me!"
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"Why didn't you agree with me?! Then we wouldn't be stuck here, waiting for the others to come by and rescue us!"
"Wasn't the canoe race your idea?"
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"Tony tricked me into it. You know how competitive he is, and how much of a pain in the ass he's been this entire trip. I get it – we all get it – Tony Stark does not do unplugged."
"It was still a bad idea. This was supposed to be a relaxing trip down the river, not careening through the water – where there are lots of rocks just below the surface – at thirty miles an hour."
"And whose fault is it that we were going so fast?"
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"…I got caught up in the moment, I guess. Anything to get you to stop screeching about how Thor and Jane were gaining on us."
"Yeah, well, let's just hope Thor and Jane will be the ones to pick us up. They'll be the least insufferable about it. Or Hope and Scott. I mean, Scott will be insufferable, until Hope shuts him up. Same with Clint and Laura. Ooh, I bet T'Challa and Nakia would be real nice about it!"
"Too bad they didn't come on this trip with us."
"Yeah."
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"HEY, GUYS! A LITTLE HELP, HERE?!"
"The fuck, Doll! Super-hearing, remember? Not so loud!"
"Sorry."
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"Shouldn't someone have caught up to us by now?"
"Maybe? … They weren't going that slowly. I could still see them when we turned left at that fork in the river."
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"What?"
"Weren't we supposed to turn right?"
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"Fuck."
"Great. Now we've got to wait until they get back to the finishing point, realise we aren't ahead of them anymore, and double back for us."
"Not my fault!"
"You were the one steering!"
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"The canoe is still a piece of crap. Think we can sue the rental place for renting out unsafe boats?"
"I think we were going too fast for that argument to stick."
"Yeah, but it was practically falling apart! I mean, we bumped – just bumped – into one of the other rocks, earlier, and I swear there was water leaking through that 'scratch' on the side. That's not a scratch, that's a crack! A crack in the boat! Not safe! We should be back safely on shore by now, not soaked to the skin and sitting on a wet boulder in the middle of the fucking river!"
"Darcy?"
"What?"
"I'm trying to listen for the others, so could you please not shout?"
"Sorry."
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"Just promise me one thing."
"What?"
"The next time anyone suggests something as harebrained as an Avengers Couples' retreat, slap your hand over my mouth, carry me out of the room, distract me with food or something shiny, I don't care! Just do whatever is necessary to keep me from saying 'Yes'!"
Hope this was a nice breather after last chapter's sadness.
Next up: Bruises. It's not going to be very happy, either.