Chapter Eighteen – Martinis and Music

"That's what a dishwasher is for, Olivia."

"It's only going to destroy your dishwasher if you don't clean off some of the residue."

Ben rolled his eyes at her, grabbed her elbow, and gently pulled her away.

"I've done it before and the dishwasher hasn't keeled over yet. I can clean up later. Follow your dog's example and come sit down."

Olivia sighed but did what he asked, grabbing a towel to dry her hands on the way. The uneasiness returned and built with every step she took toward the couch. They'd had such a good dinner, and she really didn't want to ruin the evening by returning to the topic of her birth. Unfortunately she didn't feel like she could deny him the opportunity to ask questions.

"You remember what I told you the last time we were together?" he asked.

"That not everything is biological, yes."

"I meant it. We make ourselves who we are. You made yourself who you are, not your father, not your genes."

"I might be more willing to believe you if I hadn't seen the results of bad biology."

"If that is true it only says better things about you."

Olivia's head came up and she gave him a look like he was crazy. With what he'd just said and what he knew about her father he had to be. The expression on her face was enough to send Ben into hysterical laughter. After he started laughing, her expression shifted even more to concern which made him laugh harder.

"Don't go calling the psych ward on me. You look like you want to."

"Can you blame me?" she asked incredulously.

"A little, but only if you'd actually called."

She snorted and shook her head at him.

"I still think you've lost it."

"Because I said it says good things about you?"

"That seems like a pretty insane thing to say to me."

"Because you only want to see what you want to see."

She opened her mouth to protest, but Ben held up his hand to still her.

"Keep an open mind for a minute, okay? If you're right and biology does have that much of an impact then you would be dealing with some pretty violent tendencies, right?"

Olivia bowed her head sadly. She knew full well what violent tendencies could be lurking inside of her. The fear that those tendencies would surface at some point had been clinging to her for a long time.

"Open mind, remember?" Ben prodded. "I'm not done. Let's say they are inside of you. The fact that you're this amazing, caring woman despite all of that means that you are even more incredible than you think. Does that make sense?"

"Sounds like a stretch to me."

"It isn't."

"If you start comparing me to lemonade I'm going to hit you, Ben."

"I was actually going to stick with alcoholic beverages."

Olivia swatted him with the back of her hand and tried to glare at him. Since she was trying not to laugh (and failing more than succeeding) it wasn't anywhere near as fierce as it usually was. Instead of looking apologetic Ben simply grinned at her. It only made Olivia want to hit him again, perhaps a little harder this time.

"It might be beneficial to your health to stop now."

"Aw, you wouldn't hurt the guy that just cooked a homemade meal for your dog, would you?"

"If the guy pissed me off enough, yeah."

"And risk Suvi turning on you?"

She rolled her eyes at that one.

"He wouldn't turn on me for anything. Don't even try."

"Wouldn't dare," Ben assured.

"So you say."

"You seem to have trouble believing what I say sometimes, and I don't think that has anything to do with my joking around."

"I know when you're joking. Usually at least."

"So where am I failing then?"

Olivia had not been expecting that, and she desperately wanted to find a way to convince him that wasn't true. He hadn't failed at anything. In fact, he'd succeeded far more than any other guy she'd been with. Ben deserved to know that, so she shifted a bit closer to him and rested a hand on his knee.

"You haven't failed, Ben. You've stuck around when every sane man would have run. I don't know what that really says about you, but I wouldn't call it failure. What's more, you've managed to get me to come back. I'm not exactly sure how you pulled that off either."

"I'm just awesome like that," he replied as he draped his hand over hers.

"Apparently so."

Ben watched Olivia as her happy smile shifted to a more bashful one. When her eyes dropped he gently ran this thumb over her cheek. She still didn't look up at him, but the smile on her face regained some of the contentment it had had. Ben only hesitated for another moment before he leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. It was a very short lived kiss, and when he pulled away Olivia peered up at him through her eyelashes. Ben could see that she was still uneasy but she didn't look upset with what he'd done. In fact, he might even say that she looked like she'd enjoyed it. Ben desperately wanted to kiss her for real, but he held back. He'd been pushing it a bit with the kiss on the cheek. Going farther would not be a good idea unless she initiated it.

"Thank you for dinner."

"Thank you for coming back."

"I'm glad I did."

And she was. It had been worth the risk to come back and tell Ben about her origins. She didn't quite believe his alcoholic beverage story or that she was worth it like he did, but he'd at least convinced her that he believed it and wasn't going anywhere. That was good enough for her.

"I'm glad you did too. It would have been disappointing if I never got to see Suvi again."

Olivia recognized the teasing smile on his face and shook her head at him. The mention of Suvi made her look over at her dog to make sure he was doing alright. When he saw her looking at him his tail wagged happily. He'd been content to sit and watch them after he'd finished his treat. She was pleased to see that he didn't look bored or edging toward frustration which meant she could stick around for a little longer.

For the next hour they listened to music and talked. At one point during the evening Ben started grinning like the Cheshire cat. While their discussion had caused a lot of smiles and some laughter, Olivia didn't think there was anything in what she'd just been saying that should cause quite that big of a grin.

"What?"

The question only made Ben's smile grow wider.

"What?" she demanded again.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to notice."

"Notice what?"

She tried to wrack her brain for something that was different or something he'd said that was supposed to be a joke. Nothing stood out though, and she gave him a questioning look. Instead of telling her anything he continued smiling at her in silence. She was going to have to figure this one out on her own. Olivia frowned and tried to go over everything again but still came up blank. Then she paused and focused harder on the music playing. She really hadn't been paying much attention to it until then. At first, it had sounded somewhat familiar. A moment focusing on the lyrics proved that it was. She listened to the last two stanzas until the final "I'm still looking up" died away and then did just that. Ben was grinning at her.

"Did you put that on on purpose?"

"Amazingly enough, no. The minute I heard it though I had to wonder how long it would take you to notice. Aren't detectives supposed to be observant?"

"I don't need to be observant when I'm just relaxing."

"Could have helped tonight."

"Wouldn't have been as entertaining for you then."

Which was true even if the entire episode had been incredibly frustrating for her. At least Ben had gotten a major kick out of her apparent cluelessness.

"True. I rather enjoyed your total confusion."

"I'm sure you did." Olivia tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and smiled softly at Ben. "Thank you for tonight."

"Need to go, huh?"

"Yeah. I need to get Suvi a full meal and a walk."

"Can I walk you out?"

"That would be great."

With Suvi's leash in one hand and Ben's hand curled around Olivia's other one they made their way out of the apartment. Ben and Olivia spent the trip down to street level trying to plan out when they could get together again. It was surprisingly easy to find a time that would work, but they had a bit of trouble agreeing on what they would do. Ben wanted to take her out to dinner, but she vetoed the idea since that was almost all they'd done so far besides meet in the park. Olivia didn't have any idea what to do instead though. In the end they'd compromised. She would come up with their "date activity" and then Ben would take her out for dessert. Since he wouldn't know where they were going for the main part of their date, he'd refused to tell her what they would be doing for his part.

"Do you want me to call a cab?" Ben asked once they were outside.

"No. I'll take the subway."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll see you Thursday."

"Thursday," he confirmed. "Have a good night, Liv."

She blinked at the use of her nickname and then smiled. It was the first time he'd ever called her Liv, and it felt appropriate. In fact, she really liked hearing it from him.

"You too."

Olivia gave him one final smile before turning away and heading home. After she left Ben could only stand there smiling. It had been a wonderful evening and everything that had happened made him hopeful for the future. He couldn't get that last smile out of his head either. She was falling for him. With victory singing through him Ben turned and headed back into his building.

Author's Note: Well, that'll be it for a little while! See you soon.