Chapter 44- Revenge of the Nannies

A/N: I finished up this chapter this afternoon in a class, watching a Nova narrated by John Lithgow. It was only a little creepy, knowing that voice has a part in this story.

To a guest reviewer for the last chapter- Thanks for the review! I'm glad you thought their reactions were realistic. I do agree that a lot of baby proofing is unnecessary, but as first time parents, and on top of it parents to a quote miracle baby, plus their personalities, I can see both of them going all out on the baby proofing thing. Or even if they don't, at this point, they would still think they need too. I will keep the playpen thing in mind though! It's a great idea! Thanks!

"I think we should start looking for a nanny," Robin brings up timidly one night after they finished their Chinese food in bed. Barney returns a strange look to her. He hadn't even considered what it would mean for the both of them to go back to work after she was born. "I mean it's only a few weeks till she's born," she argues, trying to convince him, "and I don't want to wait to go back to work, and with how much trouble Lily and Mar-"

"Sounds like a plan!" Barney announces, cutting her off mid thought.

"Really?" she asks skeptically. "You don't mind if I start looking?"

"No, I don't mind," he says, because he agrees. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get a head start so that they don't have to wait. "I know how much work means to you. I'd rather have you find a nanny now so you don't have to wait to go back."

"Alright. I'll start looking tomorrow."

The next day, she starts her search by signing up for the main nanny finder sites on the internet. It takes her about an hour to fill out all the registration forms, as well as profiles on all three sites.

After she's registered, she finds some pretty good choices for nannies, at least twenty that she would consider hiring just on credentials alone. She never knew that nannies had so much experience.

She sends an interest email to each one, plus a couple of others, because she figures that it's better to interview too many, than have to start over again. She lets it go at the twenty six, starts her research work for the day.

Later in the afternoon, after she finishes her work for WWN, she checks her email. She has 26 responses, matching the total number of emails she sent out. She's ecstatic, because she has a response from each one. That is until she starts reading them.

-Sorry, I'm busy.

-I can't work for you.

-I will never work for you.

-No. Why are you back?

-Go to hell.

She doesn't get it. She doesn't get it at all. There is no reason that these people should be like this. Twenty-one responses are like that, all negative. Some of them are downright nasty. She tries to ignore them and respond to the five responses that seemed positive, but it still bothers her. Something doesn't seem right.

She writes to the positive responses with times for an interview and gives them the address to the apartment. Within an hour, they all write back saying they aren't interested. Then, she notices the emails from the sites that flagged her account and canceled them. She doesn't get it. It's like there is a big black X over the apartment and her IP address.

And then she gets it. There is a big black X over the apartment. There is a big black X over her. She doesn't know what or why, but something Barney did, some sort of play he did in his life, has somehow infiltrated the network of nannies, and put him or anything he does on some sort of blacklist. She wouldn't be annoyed by it, because she usually isn't about his past, but she is because it means that they have no nanny. She bets they won't be able to find one either, which means she won't be able to go back to work.

"We've got a bit of a problem," Robin vents to Barney when he comes home that night.

"What's that?" Barney asks. He's genuinely curious because she doesn't seem like her normal self, even like half her normal self. She looks like she's about to pull her hair out. "You look frustrated."

"It's the nannies," she sighs. Really she's playing him. She doesn't want to confront him, because every time she has lately he's gotten defensive. So she decided that if she gets him to admit it, the night will go a whole lot smoother, and he'll be much more likely to help with their predicament. "I can't find a single one that is willing to interview," she complains.

"That's crazy!" he brushes off.

"I contacted twenty six, twenty one of which basically told me to 'go to hell.' The five that agreed to meet with us canceled as soon as they found out our address."

"Uh huh," he nods, as he pauses, standing at the foot of the bed.

"And then," she continues to rant, "I started getting a flag on my account for every website I registered for, and they canceled them."

"Uh huh," he mutters.

"The emails said something about my paperwork being a scam," she adds.

"Uh huh."

"And that I have a profile too similar to someone in the past who was running a scam," she implies.

"Uh huh."

"Do you know anything about this?" she asks.

"Uh huh," he mutters again, obviously zoned out.

He is out of it. He knows it. He stopped listening out of guilt somewhere around the point where she said she didn't get good responses. He knows exactly what's going on. It's all because of his nannies play. It's all his fault that she is going to have to stay home with Brianna. It's so horrible that he's affected them like this because of something he did to try to forget about her.

"Barney!" she shouts, trying to bring him back on track.

"What?" he asks, shaking out of it. He knows he can't avoid her forever.

"You need to stop zoning out," she reprimands.

"I'm not zoning out," he defends.

"Yes, you are," she counters. He had definitely zoned out. "You haven't heard a word I said. What did I just say?"

"That you had five people interview," he responds, because he really missed it what she did say. He was all caught up in the worry of what he's done.

"No. Not at all. The only five people that responded nicely turned me down after they learned our address."

"Oh."

"What did you do?" she interrogates.

"Nothing," he assures, even though he know exactly what he did.

"Barney?!" she shouts, completely aggravated by him right now.

"Okay," he sighs, finally moving from the spot he's been stuck since he zoned out, to collapse next to her on the bed. It's time for her to know what happened. He isn't going to get away with lying about it. That's the thing about her and her alone. She can always see right through him. "I may have had a play a few years ago that involved nannies." Well that's no revelation she thinks. "It was right after I broke up with Quinn. Marshall and Lily were looking for a nanny for Marvin, and I needed a distraction from the fact that you were still with Nick. So I thought it would be a challenge. It wasn't. I was just bored. I missed you. I wanted you."

Damn it. He always has a way of completely turning whatever he did wrong into a reason he loves her, which just makes her emotional, and of course, Brianna is great at making her even more emotional. Now that he says it, she vaguely remembers that time, but she was too caught up in the walking vibrator that was Nick.

"Is that when you ended up in the dumpster?" she asks.

"Yeah," he murmurs, still sort of embarrassed by the whole thing. It made him feel weak, and he hates feeling weak around her.

She's upset about all of this, but he didn't do anything wrong right now. He did it in the past. It's not his fault now that this is still like this, regardless of how much she wants to blame this on him right now.

"What are we going to do?" she sighs.

"I don't know," he answers, rubbing her back. "We'll think of something though."

"But I can't get anyone, ANYONE to interview!" she starts to scream in panic. "How can I find anyone to be her nanny if I can't get anyone to interview?"

"We will find someone. I promise," he reassures her. "I'll set up some interviews at work where my account shouldn't get flagged and access the website through there so that maybe they can't track us."

"It's not going to work," she mutters, shaking her head. He's ready to prove her wrong.

At work the next day, Barney repeats Robin's steps, filling out the forms with his work address, using his work computer. He feels like he's doing everything right. Unfortunately, it's not enough, and a little before lunch, he finds himself in the same situation she was in yesterday.

It's Arthur that notices his frustration when he's eating in the conference room later. He decided it would be a good idea to get away from his desk for a while, but now he's not so sure. He really doesn't need a lecture from Arthur today.

"What's up, Stinson, you look frustrated. Everything ok with the wife and kid?" Arthur asks.

"Yeah," Barney bemoans. "Just looking for a nanny and having some problems finding one."

"I heard that Wilson over in accounting took a sabbatical to take care of his son," one of Barney's other colleagues, Martin, chimes in.

"What do you mean?" Barney asks.

"You've been here years. You should have some time saved up for one," Martin explains.

"Huh," Barney utters. "Thanks, Martin."

He packs up his lunch and leaves the conference room almost immediately, a new idea completely taking over his mind, his decision made. He wants to do all the research he can, so he can take his new idea to Robin tonight.

"You were right," he sighs, coming home from work. She smiles greedily, because she knew it. "It didn't work, but I've got something more important to tell you," he announces proudly.

He is incredibly proud of himself. Even though it wasn't his thought at first, once the idea was in his head, he knew he wanted nothing more than the opportunity to spend time with his daughter. He can't wait to see Robin's reaction. He managed to find out from Human Resources that he has enough time for a year's worth of time off, and due to his high standing, he will get most of his pay anyway. Many lower employees of the company wouldn't be that lucky.

"What's that?" she asks, skeptical.

"I can take a sabbatical," he announces.

"Huh?" That is far from what she expected to come out of his mouth.

"I have a paid leave I can take, because I've been with the company for so long."

"And that means?" He can't possibly be suggesting…

"I'll stay home with her for a while after you go back to work," he says. "I can take up to a year." Wow. She can't quite believe that he is willing to do that.

"You want to do that?" she questions.

"Yes," he affirms. "You've given up your career lately, for her and for us. It's time that I return the favor." She hugs him immediately. She never expected he would want to do quite all of this. "I'll get 90% of my full salary, and we don't have to worry about finding a nanny right away."

"You know you don't have to do to make it up to me. You deserve to have your career too," she pleads. To him, the thought that he is doing this to make it up to her, is absolutely crazy. They are both more important to him than anything in the world.

"I'm not doing because of that. I want to do this," he insists.

"Wow. You're sure about this, aren't you?" She's touched, so touched, that he would want to stay with her and not go to work. She's sure she couldn't voluntarily do that. It's been enough being home for the past six months.

"I am. I thought about it all day. I'm going to be a stay at home dad."

It's just one more thing that she can add to the list of things she never expected Barney Stinson to ever say.

1/15/15

For those of you readers that are parents, you know that the hardest thing about being a parent is thinking about what you are going to do with your child when you head off to work. Even though she isn't here yet, I thought it would be a good idea to start looking at our child care options.

We decided that a nanny would be the best choice for us, since we both work long hours. However, our search for a nanny was less than successful. We haven't even been able to interview anyone, and everyone we scheduled an interview with canceled on us.

I thought at first that this would impact my return to work, which I am greatly looking forward to, but it will not. We've decided that my husband will be taking a sabbatical from his work to stay home with her for at least 6 months. At that time, we will try to search for a nanny again, and hopefully, we will be able to find a person that we can trust her with.

I was surprised when my husband offered to be a stay at home dad. Don't be calling him Mr. Mom. He would not be happy to hear that at all! I never pegged him for the type to give up his career for someone else. But he explained to me that he wanted to do this. He wanted to spend his time with her.

So stay tuned for my return to WWN as lead anchor, as it should only be about 15 more weeks!