AN: Here's where I upset you all by changing the pace and mood entirely, haha.
And oh, right, yeah. Quick thing. Probably should have mentioned it before but there is some SERIOUS Ron-bashing in this fic. I do like Ron (for the most part) but for the purposes of this story, he's a wanker. There is no redemption arc. He just sucks. It's not really OOC, I don't think, but it's all of the worst of his character and none of his redeeming traits. You can always let me know if you disagree, of course.
7. Staccato
S.
The woman who sat opposite him at the table was a dark-haired witch, with thin, pursed lips and pale skin like his. She could stand to loosen up a little, but she was pretty enough. She might want to unfasten a couple of buttons and hitch up her skirt a little. She looked a little older than the thirty-one years she claimed, but still much younger than he was, and far more attractive than the last date he had. Snape shuddered as he recalled the look of devastation on her face when he'd prematurely ended the date. Lucius had howled with laughter when Snape had stormed into Malfoy Manor demanding an explanation.
It wasn't just that she'd been unattractive - he was hardly a looker himself - but she was the most mind-numbingly stupid and boring woman he had ever met. It had made him nostalgic for the witch before her, who had long legs and flame-red hair, and even though she was almost definitely as mad as a bag of cats, she was at least, an interesting conversation. He'd dated a lot over the last few years, but nothing had really stuck. He was searching for something that he couldn't place his finger on, but he knew that he had yet to find it. It was fine to settle for less when it came to something casual, but if he was going to be all-in, exclusive and committed, then she'd have to be something special. Maybe this witch was the one who'd finally lock him down.
Doubt it. What's her name, again? Cristina?
"Sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name?" he said.
"It's Cressida", the witch said, a little impatiently.
Understandable, he figured, since she'd already mentioned it twice.
"Cressida", he said. "Of course. It's lovely."
She gave a tight smile and thanked him.
Well-recovered.
"Tell me, Cressida... What do you do?"
She placed her hands together and shuffled on the chair.
"Well", she said, "I've been working with my father for the last few years, but I used to work for Gringotts. It was actually very exciting, I think I will go back there soon."
Banking. How thrilling.
"I bet it was. What did you do for them?"
"Well, I worked alongside the Goblins to..."
But Snape never learned what she did alongside the Goblins, because his attention was drawn immediately to the couple who were ushered in to a table near the kitchen. The wizarding world had mostly lost interest in Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley, but they were still very much following the lives of Harry Potter and, unfortunately, Severus Snape. She ran her hands through her hair and tucked it behind her ear as she took a menu from the waiter. He looked back at Cressida and nodded.
"... so then they sent me to France to work there for a couple of months", she said.
"How utterly fascinating. Tell me more."
"Well, they asked me to go because I speak French. I studied at Beauxbatons, you know?"
"Yes, you mentioned", he said, curtly.
"I lived with my Grandmother", she continued. "Dad thought I should..."
Hermione smiled politely at Weasley as he muttered something he couldn't hear, but he gestured to the menu and grinned as though he was the happiest man in the world. She was skinny, and a little pale. But still beautiful.
How long has it been? Six years? Seven? I can't believe they're still together.
He studied her hand for a ring, but she didn't wear one. However, she had not worn one before, so it hardly meant anything. Snape drew back to his date, only when he realised that she had stopped talking. She turned in her chair to follow his gaze.
"Do you know them?" she asked.
Her legs bounced under the table and it irritated him.
"Old students of mine", he said.
She nodded.
"Teacher's pets?"
"Pah! Quite the opposite. I was neither impressed by them or their little buddy... Potter."
Cressida moved her body forward onto the table so that her breasts sat in her plate, which thankfully was empty and clean.
"Harry Potter? So that would be the Weasley kid? What was his name?"
"Ronald", he clipped.
She clapped her hands together.
"Ronald Weasley, yes! And the girl is Hermione Granger?"
How the hell did you remember her name? I can hardly remember yours. Cressida. Cress-i-da. Fuck, what's your surname? Did I even ask?
"So what do you do, Severus?" she asked, meeting his eyes with interest.
"I work at the King Street Library."
"Isn't that a muggle library?"
He bristled. He often received this reaction from wizards. He was long-past caring to defend himself.
"It is primarily a muggle facility, yes. I work mostly with magical texts", he said stiffly. "I'm a curator for-"
"Oh, a curator?" she interrupted. "That must be interesting."
"I enjoy it."
The waiter returned to Hermione and Weasley's table and took their order. They had hardly spent two minutes looking at the menu, as though they knew already what they wanted.
Do they come here often? Do they have the same thing every time?
"Cressida, tell me", he said, turning to the woman he was supposed to be attending to. "What do you enjoy doing? What do you do when you're not working at Gringotts?"
She pulled a face and said a little shortly, "I told you, I don't work there anymore."
"So you did, my apologies. What do you do when you're not working... with your... "
I want to say your father? Fuck it.
"... with your father?"
Her wiry, red lips broke into a smile.
See, I was listening. Sort of.
"For example, I like to read, and I dabble in photography, and I like to travel. What about you?"
That should keep you talking for a while.
"Oh I love to travel", she said, with all of the enthusiasm of someone who absolutely did not like to travel; she was a homebody; a nesting bird. "I moved around a lot for work, and I was always excited to..."
The shrill, obnoxious ringing of a mobile telephone drew everyone's attention to Hermione and Weasley's table. Even Cressida turned around for a moment, before drawing back to him to continue with whatever it was she telling him. Weasley placed his hand out in front of Hermione and took the call at the table.
Rude. Arrogant.
She rubbed her head with her fingers and waited for the ignorant git to get off the phone. When he did, he stood up, and bowed as though in apology. She looked at him, with an irritated prickle in her stare. Then she nodded, as he patted her on the shoulder and kissed her cheek. Hermione leant back in her chair and crossed her hands in her lap. She looked around the room, lingering on an odd, abstract painting that hung to her left, his right, that was either of a bowl of fruit, or a tree, or a nude woman. She looked up then, and her eyes widened with recognition, flicking her gaze from his face, to his table, to his date.
God. You stare at someone long enough and they turn around.
She smiled, as though she was as unsure as he was what their next move should be. Their last encounter had been so awkward, and so final, he'd expected that he would see her again eventually, but not quite so soon. She mouthed the word that he'd wanted to say to her for so long. It's quick staccato was the opening of a door, that he had not only closed but locked behind him.
'Hi'.
That's what I have been searching for. I have been trying to recreate with somebody else, what I found with...
What did you find with her? Humiliation? Shame? Torment?
Piss off, Lucius.
:
H.
What the hell is he doing here?
Hermione studied the woman at his table. The way that she laughed a little louder than she needed to, and threw her head to ruffle her hair- they were on a date, and the woman was definitely into him.
Why wouldn't she be?
The woman turned around in her seat to face her. Hermione could only see her profile but she looked fairly pretty. She was probably in her mid-thirties, she assumed, maybe younger, but the cut of her hair aged her. She wore lipstick that looked a little too intense for her porcelain skin, but without seeing it in the context of her whole face, Hermione couldn't be sure. She wore a blazer and black tights, and so a picture began to form in Hermione's mind. A well-dressed woman; modest and professional, but a little sexy. The buttons of her blouse would be unfastened just enough that you could take a peek of her cleavage without getting an eyeful. The kind of woman who leaves something to the imagination. Hermione craned her neck to get a better look at the woman, but she did not turn back. When she pulled her hair into her hands as she spoke with him, she revealed a rather large tattoo of a snake on the back of her neck that disappeared beneath her jacket.
Put together, mature, but a little edgy? She's perfect for him.
The waiter approached and asked if her 'companion would be returning', and Hermione couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"No", she said. "It'll be just me, I guess".
"We can wrap it up for you, if you'd like?"
She looked up at Severus, and saw that his eyes met hers. He wasn't paying attention to the woman in front of him.
He's paying attention to me.
"No thank you," Hermione said. "I think I'll stay. I'd like to see what happens."
:
S.
Go to her. You have unfinished business.
Cressida continued to talk as though she had not noticed that his stare had been vacant. He looked at her as she tucked into her cheesecake, taking small slivers off the cake and nibbling.
Who eats like that?
"So, Cressida", he said, with a business-like tone to his voice. "What is it that you hope to get from this evening?"
She dropped her fork from her mouth and asked, "excuse me?"
Snape took the napkin from his lap and dropped it on the table next to him.
"What do you want with me?" he asked. "Something casual? A quick and intense romance? Marriage and children? A quick shag out in the alley?"
She withdrew into herself, wrapping her arms around her stomach.
"Err, I don't know. I just thought we would have fun tonight and see where it goes."
Just leave.
"Let me tell you what I want", he placed his hands flat on the table. "Perhaps I should have been clearer before now, I don't know. I do not want to settle down. I enjoy dating and I enjoy sex, but I do not want to be exclusive with you. I suspect that you do not want something so non-committal?"
"Well, I... No, I suppose not, but maybe we could..."
Oh my God, woman. What do I have to say to get you to leave? Take the hint. I'm trying to be gentle. Life was so much easier when I just told people to 'fuck off and leave me alone'.
"Sorry, I think you misunderstand me. What I am saying is that I don't think we are well-suited. We don't seem to have very much in common. Particularly since you have just shuddered at the word 'shag'. I think you're a little prim, which is fine, but I am... I don't know... gritty?"
"I wouldn't call myself 'prim'. You hardly know me."
Her tone was sharp and irritable.
"True, but it would be foolish to continue this charade if we don't want the same thing. We should just end the date here, don't you think?"
"I think we should continue to get to know each other", she said, sipping at her glass of wine. "I might surprise you."
Right. You asked for it.
"Let me make myself crystal clear. Unless you plan on ending this evening on all fours in the alley behind the restaurant, we are done here."
That should do it.
"You're disgusting!" she said, standing to her feet.
Yep.
Her anger drew everybody's eyes to her. Except for Severus, whose eyes moved past Cressida to Hermione who played with her food, wrapping the spaghetti around the fork and then dropping it back to the plate. Cressida looked back at Hermione, and then narrowed her eyes.
"We're not compatible, huh?" she said.
He shrugged.
"Doubt it."
"Fine", she snipped. "Call me when you change your mind."
:
H.
Severus' date stood up in the middle of dessert, pushing her chair out behind her with a screech. She whipped her napkin off her lap and threw it onto the seat. She made for the door without turning back and Hermione was a little put out that she didn't get chance to take a proper look at the kind of woman that Severus would the woman left the restaurant, Severus sat back in his chair and grinned to himself.
Men will continue to be a mystery to me.
He met her eyes again, then and jerked his head as though to invite her to join him at his table. She paused for a moment, not sure if she'd read him correctly.
He looks so sure of himself. Almost a little cocky.
His dark hair was longer than before, falling past his shoulders to his chest, but it was thicker; clean and textured. He'd traded his head to toe, jet black get-up, for various shades of black, along with grey and white. A change, but still very much, himself. His shirt sleeves were folded neatly midway down his thick forearms. He had put on weight and muscle, so that he looked stronger and healthier. She looked down at her own body and wished she could say the same for herself. He'd kept the beard, but it was short and neat, with a little salt amid the pepper.
He looks good.
He kicked the chair opposite him out from under the table, without saying a word. He just looked at her. A gentleman might have stood up and pulled out the seat for her.
But he's not a gentleman.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes", Severus said, as she took the seat cautiously and he took his glass of red from the table and drained it. "I'm going to get another. The same for you?"
"Sure", she said, not sure if she liked red. She'd only ever had white and rosé.
He seems different.
:
S.
Hermione Granger was the kind of beauty best observed up close. Many women were striking from afar, but the closer they became, the more their features blurred into flaws. Severus was not picky when it came to looks, for the most part, preferring a good conversation over a pretty face. Of course, he was still a man, and so he was not immune to the charm of a beautiful woman. In his teenage years, he would have stuck it in just about anything he was allowed, but as an adult, unthinkably, he found that he was able to be much more selective. Hermione was pretty in her motions - her wide smile, her expressive eyes, her hands. It was not a beauty so easily seen, so much as it was known. He supposed that she was pretty with hindsight. Knowing her as he did, was what made her beautiful.
"So, you and Weasley..." he said, "how long have you been together now?"
"Seven years, on and off", she answered, fiddling with her bracelet.
"On and off?"
"Well, I had a couple of casual relationships - I dated a muggle called Matthew for a while, and Cormac McLaggen, do you remember him?"
McLaggen!? He's worse than the idiot!
He nodded.
"Whatever happened, I always ended up back with Ron", she continued. "We'd fall out, break up, get back together. It's a cycle. We're sort of... stuck with each other, I suppose."
Stuck? You're settling? Don't you want to be happy?
"He worked at the ministry with me for a while, too", she said, as if she thought he'd give a shit about what Weasley was up to, "but he's at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes now. So I'm there by myself, really."
"You're still at the ministry?!"
She shuffled uncomfortably on her chair.
"Sorry", he said, "I didn't mean that to sound judgmental. I'm just surprised. I thought you hated it there?"
She made herself smaller on her seat and sipped her wine.
"I guess I just got comfortable."
She was different - not quite how he remembered her - she hardly met his gaze, speaking mostly to the food on her plate. Nor did she have her usual vibrancy. She was bored, he figured. Unhappy in both her relationship, obviously, and her job. He felt sorry for her, in a way, which was a nice turn of fate - a reversal of roles - but he did not take any joy in her misery. He felt it as though it was his misery. It had been seven years, and yet not a week had passed in which he did not think about her or wonder how she was doing. Of all the lives he had pictured her living, he had never imagined this. In every life, she was happy.
You can help. You owe her.
"Hermione, if you want something new, there's an opening at the library. I could maybe put in a good word for you?"
She needs a job. It's fine.
She eyed him suspiciously.
"Are you sure?"
"Are you still a reader?" he asked. "Still academic?"
There was a twitch in her mouth that made him think that perhaps he had offended her.
"Yes, I am who I always was."
Are you quite sure about that?
"In fact! I read something the other day", she said, and in an instant, her whole face changed. "It was absolutely fascinating."
She was bright, beautiful and engaged. Exactly how he remembered her.
There you are.
"There was an article in the Prophet about new regulations on the sale of Polyjuice. It got me thinking about how much I used to enjoy brewing, and then I just stopped. It was simpler to buy potions from the apothecary, y'know? But I felt a little flicker of excitement and so I hit the books. Before I knew it, I was pulling out old textbooks and it got me thinking... about you, actually."
You think about me?
"Do you still dabble?" she asked.
"In potion-making? No, not so much. Like you said, it's easier to buy ready-made."
"It's a shame, don't you think?"
He nodded.
"Yes. It's a shame."
It is all such a damn shame.
"Perhaps we could work on something together?" she suggested.
She must have seen the flash of interested surprise in his eyes because quickly she said, "no, you're right, that would be weird. Sorry. For a moment I forgot that we- well... you know.'"
"I understand", he said. "For a moment there, it was almost like no time at all had passed."
She tucked her hair behind her ear and wrinkled her nose as she smiled at him.
Is it possible that she's even more beautiful? I'm going to need another drink.
:
H.
How could it possibly have been seven years? I still think of you.
He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and poured himself another glass of wine.
I wish I'd dressed up tonight. If I'd known I was going to bump into you...
"Were you serious about that job?" she asked.
He feels sorry for you. You're really not coming off very well, right now. Lean into it. Play your cards right and you might get a job offer out of it.
"I could really do with a change of pace", she said.
"Absolutely. I'll speak to the boss."
"Would I be working with you?" she asked. "Assuming that I got the job, of course."
"Perhaps. I collaborate with the librarians from time to time."
So I would see you from time to time.
"Would you be okay with that? I don't want things to be awkward..."
Remember the last time you saw me.
"... Because of, you know... the last time we -"
Remember what you could have had. Remember, Severus.
"I think I can restrain myself", he said with a crooked smile.
Remember it like I remember it. It's been seven years. I have not forgotten. I have never let myself forget.
She smiled at him, holding her gaze for a little longer than was comfortable.
Remember me.
"I'm really sorry about-"
Severus lifted his hand to stop her.
"We don't need to re-hash old times", he said, looking down at his glass. "What is done is done. Let us not dwell on it."
Maybe I want to dwell. I've missed you.
"You're right", she said brightly, "we still have a lot to catch up on."
Severus smiled and she felt her cheeks flush hot.
"Mmm", he said, swallowing a mouthful of wine. "Yes, we do."
:
S.
Lucius threw his palm to his head.
"You idiot. You should have taken her back to your place."
"I didn't want to. It didn't feel right", Severus said.
"Why not? She's not nineteen anymore. She's what, Draco's age? Twenty-five? Twenty-six? I understand why you didn't go for it before, she was perhaps a little young... although from my experience young only means-"
"I beg you not to finish that sentence!" Snape said, shaking his head.
He hitched his trousers up from the thigh and took a seat on the armchair beside Lucius'.
Lucius swilled his brandy in the shallow crystal glass and Snape poured one himself, comfortable as he was at the Malfoys'.
"All I'm saying is that it sounds like she was a sure thing", Lucius said."I can't believe you walked away from her having only offered her a job and not a good seeing to."
"Piss off, Lucius", he said, but he allowed himself to laugh with his friend. "It doesn't matter anyway. She's with the Weasley kid."
Lucius scoffed.
"Well then, she's probably ready to be rid of the destitute little bastard."
Snape crossed his legs on the chair and glared at Lucius. Lucius rolled his eyes.
"Yes, you're right, I'm sorry", he drawled. "We're playing nice now, aren't we? Anyway, what does it matter if she has a boyfriend? You've hardly considered that an issue in the past, have you? If they come to you willingly, that's their choice. If they have a man at home, what business is it of yours?"
"She's not like them", he said. "She's different."
"Oh, Severus, don't be ridiculous. She's a woman like any other."
No, she's not, he thought. Not to me.
"Leave him alone, Darling", Narcissa said, sweeping into the room with a chill, like a winter breeze; her hand wrapped around the stem of a wine glass. "Just because you navigate romantic relationships with all the subtlety of a Blast-Ended Skrewt, doesn't mean that Severus wants to do the same. Some men like to take their time."
Lucius brushed the wrinkles from his shirt sleeve, as he said, "don't be jealous, Darling".
"Oh, hush you", Narcissa replied, perching on the arm of Lucius' chair and needling her pretty fingers through his hair. "I'm only the slightest bit jealous."
"You know I'll always have a soft spot for you, Treasure", Severus said and winked at Narcissa whose reply came as pleasing laughter.
Lucius made a ridiculous gesture of deepest offence that they each knew was part of the play.
"I still sit wistfully at my window and miss you, my prince", she said, with a pout directed at Severus.
"I'm sat right here!" Lucius said with his mouth agape.
"Oh don't worry, my Darling", Narcissa sang, palming her husband's cheeks and kissing him on the nose. "Divorce is tacky. You're stuck with me for a long time."
"I can wait", Severus said with a wicked smile. "Lucius can't live forever."
AN: If you, or somebody you know, was affected by the characterisation of Snape, Lucius and Narcissa at the end of this chapter, the following website may be able to help you.
www dot I had THE BEST TIME writing their friendship throughout this fic. Honestly, there is more where this came from and it only gets worse from here on out so hold on to your knickers... dot com.