Note: This story is the work of Darkryt Orbinautz.
A My Little Pony Fanfiction
Mind Over Mane-Iac
Issue 3 In A Seven-Issue Mini-series!
Enter The Dark Pony
AFRAID OF THE DARK? You will be after the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well makes her mystifying entrance! With Dash constantly sidetracked by Tresemme, the Power Ponies call in for help! But is the "Dark Pony" really all she seems to be?
"Aw, geez." Rainbow Dash muttered, scraping her hoof against the polish of the mansion floor. "I'm really sorry, guys." She repeated like a broken record, withering under the disapproving glares of her friends – like a judgmental parliament of owls.
The other girls did not receive her apology with any hint of fondness. All of them, all of them, one by one, turned their nose up at her and trotted off. Rainbow Dash knew not to blame them. If the horseshoe was on the other hoof, she'd be angry too. But it still hurt to see all of them blow her off and walk away to put some distance between them and her.
"You know, Rainbow Dash, there's a difference between fashionably late and fashionably NEVER!" Rarity scowled as she trudged to the other hall.
"If I had a quarter for ever time you let me down, Rainbow Dash, you'd know what I have?" Pinkie Pie asked, pushing her snout into Rainbow Dash's nose. She paused, needing to execute the mental calculations to arrive at her conclusion. "I'd have … A QUARTER!" she shouted before leaving.
Fluttershy placed a hoof on Rainbow Dash, offering an apologetic smile. After watching Rarity snub her and Pinkie Pie shout, Fluttershy was feeling much too sympathetic to further Rainbow's guilt with her own frustrations. "Um … at least it's only a quarter, right?"
Rainbow Dash sighed. "Yeah, I guess." Far too dejected by the disappointment her friends had expressed in her, Rainbow Dash pushed Fluttershy's comforting wing off herself and trotted towards the door.
Rainbow Dash walked through the city streets. Her alter ego was one of the most respected masked heroes in Maretropolis. But for the time being, as far as the world at large was concerned, she was an aimless drifter, alone and wrapped up in her own little world. A world of self-blame and hatred and despair.
Rainbow Dash let out a sigh before lifting her head up, her eyes long getting bored of staring at the same slate concrete for five blocks. Perhaps even ten or fifteen. The attention of her tired eye was caught by a neon sign.
Glowing pink letters trumpeted the name and location of a nearby pub. The idea held some appeal to Rainbow Dash. Given she had failed her friends once already, why not give in to a defeatist point of view, fall off the wagon and become a drunkard? At least this way, she could preempt any future failings as a hero with her failings as a plastered, useless drunk, good only for decorating the streets with her semi-conscious drunk form.
Rainbow Dash was about to go in and get herself wasted on purpose, so as to escape from the ineffable reality of her friends being disappointed with her. A voice from behind her stopped her and changed that plan.
"Firefly?"
"Tresemme?" Rainbow Dash was utterly surprised to see Tresemme on the corner, a scant few blocks from her. "What are you doing here?" Dash barely managed to stop herself from asking "and why are you calling me Firefly?" before she looked down at her pale-blue hoof. She made the deduction she had walked into the mansion, been berated by her friends, and walked back out without stopping at any point to shake off her disguise.
"I was on my home from the spa." Tresemme said. "My house is down another few blocks. What are you doing out here?"
"Eh-heh." Dash turned away. "I, uh, well, I was about to go into that tavern over there and get myself hammered and possibly turn into a drunk to avoid dealing with my problems." Firefly said, hoping Tresemme wouldn't be too judging. "It's perfectly normal for any mare going through a mid-life crisis!"
Tresemme gave a concerned frown. "Is that really necessary, Firefly? I'm sure there has to a better way for you to cope ..."
"Everything's fine, really! I've been planning this for weeks!"
Tresemme made a face which showed to anypony with half a brain cell to spare she was disbelieving of Firefly ill-advised words. "You're a terrible liar, Firefly. Why don't you tell me what's really going on?"
"Nothing! It's just ..." Firefly was caught between a rock and hard a place. The rock was ignoring Tresemme and going into the pub, which would both hurt her feelings and ruin any chance of a successful relation while while not really getting herself anywhere but nowhere fast. The hard place was to admit to Tresemme what was going on, which Firefly did not want to admit to under any circumstances. Given the choice between the two, she ultimately made the right one.
Placing a hoof on her head. Firefly sighed and told her story. While leaving out as many superhero-related details, of course. Oh, and the tiny detail she was actually Firefly. "I had … somewhere to be today. While I was there, something happened with my friends … something they really could have stood to have me around for. They blame me for it, and I don't blame them. Heck, I blame me. I … I failed them." Now having confessed her sins, Firefly turned away.
"Oh, Firefly. Could you have known that … whatever happened with your friends was going to happen?"
"Maybe. Sort of. No." Firefly changed her answer.
"Then you can't really say it's your fault, can you?" Tresemme said.
"I guess not ..."
"And neither can your friends." Tresemme said. "It's not fair for them to blame you for something you had no control over. Hey, I know. Why don't you come back over to my house and stay for a bit while all this blow overs? That way, your friends can take the time to figure something out and you don't have to become a drunk wandering the streets."
"R-really?" Firefly perked up, her heart drowning in a sea of hope. This could prove an excellent oppurtunity to woo Tresemme over and keep the day from "You would do that for me? Aren't we moving kinda fast? We've only known each a day or two ..."
"Of course! What are friends for if not to lend a helping hoof?"
"Well, what are we waiting for?"
Tresemme grabbed Firefly by the hoof. Firefly blushed at the close contact, which set off a chemical reaction of Tresemme smiling comfortingly. "Come on. My house is just this way."
"Heehee, hee, hee."
Firefly couldn't help but notice Tresemme was bounding with energy. Clear on her lip for anypony to see her struggling to hold a wave of squees which threatened to burst forth. Firefly figured Tresemme was overexcited about something, and almost got suspicious – accusing, even. But she calmed herself down.
Chill, Rainbow. She's probably just like Rarity, and she gets excited about the whole "love" thing. The idea calmed Firefly down at first, but it grew and featured in her mind like an infectious wound full of blood and pus. Rarity moved from one crush of the week to the next the minute something appeared wrong with the first. Would Tresemme treat her the way Rarity treated her crushes? Would Tresemme dump her and move onto the next short-lived, dissatisfying and not fulfilling relationship as soon as she glimpsed so much as one of Firefly's warts?
Firefly worried less and less as Tresemme took them to her house for the second time today. She was giggling as if she were a schoolfilly, bounding with childish energy and excited about something. Firefly would have never thought a pony with Tresemme's cool, soothing voice could ever be compared with Pinkie Pie's level of enthusiasm, yet here they were, with Firefly drawing exact parallels in her mind.
Still giggling like she was hiding a naughty secret, Tresemme swung Firefly into her house and locked the door behind them.
"Boy." Firefly said. "You sure seem really excited about something, Tresemme."
"Huh? Oh, yes. Oh yes, I AM." Tresemme turned and pushed herself up against the door. From the way Tresemme, Firefly got the feeling they were involved in a sort of secret conspiracy, of clandestine, nebulous groups meeting and whispering in the shadows.
When Tresemme refused to elaborate, Firefly pressed the issue. "May I ask why?"
"I want you to take a shower with me."
"Whoa!" Firefly stumbled backwards. A shower? Already? Taking a shower together was something done only by the closest of couples and the happiest of newlyweds. A private romance expressed in steamy water. For Tresemme to want Firefly and herself bathing together after going on two dates and light foreplay … well, it was a bold move indeed!
"R-really?" Firefly asked. "A shower? Are you sure we're not taking things kinda ... you know, fast? Like, way too fast?"
Tresemme giggled. "Oh no, not at all! Why do you ask? Oh, I know. I think I forgot to mention this ..." Tresemme produced a bottle from her person, despite a lack of pockets on her form. "The company I work for sent me a new product. They want me to test it out before it goes to mass market. And I was just so hoping you'd volunteer to be a test subject, Firefly." Tresemme blushed and ran a hoof against her well-combed mane, a sign of nervousness if Firefly ever saw one. "But if you don't, it's okay. I guess I'll just test it by myself ..."
"No, no." Firefly shook her head. "If just testing your new product is all you want, I'd be happy to do that! Just not, you know, anything BEYOND that, if you get my meaning." To be sure she did get her meaning, Firefly gave a wink.
Tresemme appeared shocked. "Oh, no, of course not! I would never want to make you uncomfortable by rushing too fast." Tresemme balanced the bottle in her hoof and tossed it in the air, catching it again in a way which made Firefly suspect Tresemme used to be a juggler in a past life.
"Yeah … yeah, okay. I'll help with your product, Tresemme." Firefly had been worried at first, but two things cleared up to her over the last few minutes. First, Tresemme wanted a subject to run a test for her company's product, nothing more. There was nothing wrong or suspicious about wanting to test something before it hits the market. And it went a long way towards explaining why Tresemme acted like they in some kind of conspiracy together; she'd want to keep it secret in case any spies from rival companies spotted through the window.
Firefly didn't think hair care companies would even have spies, but you never know.
Second, she was worried about them going too fast for a healthy relationship to form. From the deep recesses of her mind, Firefly recalled a single, important thought; she liked fast.
Relishing in such a glorious and easy opportunity to endear herself to Tresemme, Firefly found the shower and let herself, dropping her jacket on the floor. She put one hoof on the edge of the tub before climbing the rest of the way when it hit her.
Oh, hay bales. Firefly looked at her hooves. Is this body paint water soluble?
"Firefly?" Tresemme called out, entering the bathroom. "Oh, you're in here already. Are you sure you don't want to eat something first? Maybe a light snack?"
Firefly scoffed. "Pfft, no. Why would I do that?" Everypony knew not to go swimming until an hour after eating. (Note: actual times may vary depending on who is asked). Why would she want to eat before taking a shower? If she had just woken up and needed breakfast, sure, but it was in the middle of the day and they were conducting an experiment for some nameless company's marketing division. So why was Tresemme concerned about food?
"Well, since you're already in the tub, I'm going to guess you're ready." Tresemme cantered over to the tub and put a hoof on the knobs for controlling the ebb and flow of the cleaning water. "You are ready, aren't you?"
"Miss, I was born ready."
"Somehow I doubt that ..." Tresemme whispered under her breath, her ominous words unnoticed as a brown butterfly fluttering in a sea of dusty, dirty moths. Tresemme spun the wheel of the knob and aimed the shower at Firefly. A spray of water blew out from the many spouts inside the symbol of modern life. What was probably the grandest advancement of all since the cave-pony days, the use of indoor plumbing.
The water hit Firefly like a spread of needles. Each stream of water seemed to hit her body with the same weight of the realization her deception wasn't going to survive against this onslaught of H20. Already, Firefly could see trails on her hooves and chest as the body paint began to peel and wear off, going down the drains in both flecks and specks.
If Tresemme noticed Firefly's chattering teeth, she made no move to acknowledge it. Tresemme lifted the bottle up, opened it, and squirted some of the contents into her hoof. It was a creamy, pink liquid, bubbly and foamy as a good shampoo should be. Firefly's eyes darted towards the shampoo as Tresemme slowly, rather sensuously, lathered it in her hooves.
Oh well. Firefly said. At least if she finds out I've been lying to her, I'll have enjoyed some premium-quality shampoo … yeah, that's the best positive I can find about this. I'm grasping at straws, here … Firefly pulled a mental facehoof.
Humming a merry, cheery tone, Tresemme applied the shampoo to Firefly's scalp.
The effect was instantaneous and unexpected. Everything went blank in Firefly's mind. Her eyes shrinking to pinpricks, Firefly's head cranked itself towards the ceiling, staring up at nothing with a vast, empty expression on face. The shampoo seemed to not only clear her head of dandruff and dust … it cleared her head of thoughts, memories, and basic identity.
Behind her, a shadow of dark danger creeped up behind Dash. A curvy, wicked shadow which would make any viewer want to scream through the comic panel and yell "Run, Rainbow Dash, run!" only for their warning to be tragically ignored as Dash was under a complete and total spell, deaf to all and eyewitness to nothing.
The water from the shower continued to accumulate in temperate, building up the hot water and creating a cloud of steam which masked the shadow as Tresemme, hidden behind the water vapors, underwent a startling metamorphosis. Her coat changed color from pink to purple. Her blue hair turned green and grew in length and size. Her body itself grew by a few inches. When the transformation was complete, the dark countenance of the Mane-iac was standing where Tresemme was not but a few moments ago.
"Ah-ha-ha-haha! Oh-hoo, oh-hoo ..." The Mane-iac laughed, using her hair tentacles to elevate herself above the ground, putting her in a literal position where she figuratively saw herself; above the populace. "Oh, Rainbow Dash, you really are a terrible liar." The Mane-iac took a tentacle and swiped Rainbow Dash's cheek, removing streaks of the bodily paint. The Mane-iac shook the tentacle to free of the paint, sending into the water and down the drain – the same location as Dash's disguise.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash, you didn't really think this disguise would fool me for long?" The Mane-iac asked. "It is transparent to anypony who knows you that Firefly is actually you. You made it up, didn't you? I just want to know … why?"
"Uuuh ..." Dash stammered, her eyes turning into pink swirls of thin-lined hypnotism. The poor, pale pegasus was already taken in by the Mane-iac's maniacal mental manipulation. "I … made her up as a barrier between Tresemme and I. So if I messed things up as Firefly, I could come back as Rainbow Dash."
"Ooh." The Mane-iac cooed. "So you made her up to cover up your insecurities about your ability to maintain relationship. Aww … I can't decide whether that's pathetic or adorable. Perhaps they'll make a new word for it. The new edition of the dictionary introduces the word "Pathe-dorable" to the public for the very first time!" The Mane-iac burst into self-lauding laughter at her ludicrous hypothetical scenario.
"How do you like the shampoo, Rainbow Dash?" The Mane-iac asked.
"I … love it."
"Of course you do." The Mane-iac stroked Rainbow Dash's mane, running her hoof through the wide spectrum of hair colors. "It's part of my newest scheme. Brainwashing shampoo. It gives a new meaning to the term, doesn't it? I would have had it finished earlier if weren't for those ..." The Mane-iac halted in speech and drew in a deep amount so she could blow an angry, forceful snort of utter contempt for the names about to leave her tongue with a nasty taste. "Accursed Power Ponies! But thankfully, my dear friends High Heel and Long Face were able to procure the shipments I needed to make my prototype batch. And I'm comfortable telling you all about my evil scheme because I'm going to brainwash you into forgetting it later, okay?"
Dash's head tilted slightly to the right, as limp as the neck of a scarecrow planted in the garden to ward off avians. "Okay."
"Oh, and sorry about the whole, you know, brainwashing thing." The Mane-iac said as if this were no big deal and everypony eventually tricked their girlfriends into a shower for brainwashing at an early point in their relationship. "But I needed somepony to test my shampoo on, and … well, something tells me trying to test a brainwashing shampoo on myself wouldn't end well, and I doubt my Sinful Six friends would be comfortable with it. You know, the whole "villains betraying each other" thing."
The Mane-iac stroked Dash's back with one of her tentacles. "I do like you, Rainbow Dash. After all, it's not like you're one of those … POWER PONIES!" The Mane-iac looked up and let out a wistful sigh, thinking of times gone by and possibilities closed to her which would now never come. "While I'm Tresemme, I make everything go fast so I can live to the fullest. It's not easy being a secret supervillain. As a civilian, you're constantly worrying if somepony is going to find out your secret identity and rat you out to the fuzz. Hmm. I know I'm going to make you forget this entire conversation, but thanks for listening, Rainbow Dash. It's nice to have someone to talk to. Now, who wants some POST-HYPNOTIC TRIGGERS!?" The Mane-iac screamed like a gaudy game show host, offering some slim chance of a double-or-nothing deal in the final stretch of a round where contests would either win big or lose at all.
The Mane-iac lifted one tentacle and wrapped it around Rainbow Dash's exposed belly. The tentacle curled and looped around, wrapping itself around Rainbow Dash and going down further and further with each loop. It eventually reached down to Rainbow's legs and … plugged in, giving Rainbow Dash that most deadly of desire, that most carnal of satisfactions.
"Oooh!" Rainbow Dash moaned. "Mane-iac … your hair-tentacles are so … thick and spongy."
The Mane-iac let out a dark chuckled, content in the knowledge her victim was hopelessly entranced! "Yes, aren't they, though?" The Mane-iac wrapped more tentacles around Rainbow Dash's legs, constricting her in a tight grip so Rainbow Dash could do nothing to struggle against the pleasure the Mane-iac was giving her. Not that Dash would with the shampoo soaking her into head and into her mind. The Mane-iac pushed in and pulled out, making her tentacle pound against Rainbow Dash's internal walls. Dash let out a symphony of enraptured moans.
"Do you like that, Rainbow Dash?" The Mane-iac asked.
"Y-yes." Dash whimpered, her hypnotized eyes half-closed in an overwhelming pressure which might have made lesser ponies crumble by now. Well, crumble far worse than she was already.
"Hmm. Excellent." The Mane-iac increased the speed on her tentacle, going after Rainbow Dash's pleasure centers with a villainous fury, the kind only villains can do. "Now listen, Rainbow Dash, repeat after me … "I like tentacles.""
"I like tenta-tenta-tenta-CLES!" The poor, poor trapped Dash struggled to finish her new mistress's sentence, pleasured as she was by one such tentacle.
"When Tresemme offers you a chance to shower with her, you will become aroused and say "yes" every time."
"When Tresemme offers me a chance to shower with her, I will become aroused and say "yes" every time." Dash repeated.
"And if she mentions tentacles, you'll become very excited without really knowing why."
"And if she mentions tentacles, I'll become very excited without really knowing why."
"Well done, Rainbow Dash, well done." The Mane-iac stroked Rainbow Dash on the chin. "Who's my obedient little thrall? Who is? Who is? You are. Yes, you are!" It was hard for this narrator to watch as the Mane-iac treated Rainbow Dash as little less than a pitiful dog too eager to please its owner.
"Shut up, narrator." Mane-iac said. "Dash and I are enjoying some private time. Now, let's send you home before somepony starts to suspect something, shall we?" The Mane-iac increased her furious pumping of Dash's privates, going so fast she might break something if she wasn't careful with the fragile pony in her tentacle-y trap.
"Aaaah – AAAH!" Dash shrieked as she felt an orgasm beginning to happen. The Mane-iac retreated just before it did, leaving Dash tired and drained on the bathtub's porcelain. The only thing keeping her from falling onto the tub's floor in a half-conscious, mindwiped daze was the Mane-iac holding her up with her hooves like a doll.
"Now, to clean you up and get you home." The Mane-iac held Rainbow Dash to where the shower could wash away the, ah, evidence of their most-decidedly not family-friendly activities. The Comics Code would certainly never approve of any of this. They'd say the sexual nature and claiming the one single exposure to a non-mainstream sexual act would turn little kids into sexual deviants. Because that makes perfect sense.
"I don't understand why you dyed your hair to become "Firefly," Rainbow Dash." The Mane-iac ran her hoof through Dash's hairs while she scrubbed away the brainwashing shampoo. "Your natural hair color is beautiful … Why would you taint it with unnatural dyes? Look at this rainbow you have here. Oh, what I wouldn't give to see everypony with natural hair that looked like this." The Mane-iac sighed. "Oh well. We must play with the cards we're dealt, I suppose. Time for the rinse."
The Mane-iac lifted her snout in the air and winced as she forced herself to shrink down, her hair retracting and changing shades as she returned to the form of Dash's crush, Tresemme. Tresemme cradled Dash's form, admiring how cute she was when she was coming out of a trance.
"T-Tresemme?" Dash asked. "What happened?" Dash rubbed her head.
"You fell and hit your head on the tub, "Firefly."" Tresemme said with a smile. "You were out for quite a while."
"Was I?" Dash asked. "Aw, I probably ought to head home. I'm sure my friends will be worrying about me by now. Gonna have to take a rain-check on helping you test that product."
"Oh, that's fine." Tresemme said as Dash crawled out of the tub. Tresemme put upon a malicious smirk as Dash faded out of the room. "I'd say you did your part."
"Bye!" Tresemme waved Dash off from the footsteps of her home before going inside. Rainbow Dash waved back and went on her way. The sky was darkening now, and soon the night would fall, casting its shadowy embrace over the land. The Power Ponies were going to be needed, as it's known fact crime increased under the cover of darkness.
Man, I feel really good for some reason … Dash thought to herself as she made her way back to the mansion. The dark of night being close, it made sense the lights of the city buildings would go up. The lights seemed to lay a path out for Rainbow Dash towards her home, as if she walking the hall of fame ready to get her distinct hoofprint immortalized in a concrete square.
Rainbow Dash returned to the mansion, drawing the eyes of all therein on her.
"Well, look who finally decided to show her face again." Discord remarked, earning himself a good glare from Fluttershy.
"Yeah, mock me all you want, Discord." Dash said. "I'm in a good mood, and there's no way I'm gonna let you ruin it."
"I will say, you do seem to have a certain … glow about you." Rarity said, tapping her chin as her mind worked its wheels hard to puzzle together what exactly the glow was. She knew she recognized it from somewhere.
"What can I say? I feel happy."
"No." Rarity walked up to Rainbow Dash, narrowing her eyes. "No. It's something more than that." Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash for the right amount of time to make Rainbow Dash uncomfortable. "I've got it. You and Tresemme did the dirty dance."
"The what now?"
"The beast with two backs?"
"Sounds freaky."
"You know ..." Rarity said. "The tango for two?"
"Actually, Rarity, I don't know. Enlighten me."
Rarity facepalmed and took in a deep breath. Her eye wandered over to Spike. "Spiky, dear, could you leave the room?"
"Fine, fine." Spike threw his hands up in the air, frustrated at having his console video game interrupted. "I know when I'm not wanted. Oh, before I go, the Cutie Mark Crusaders called. Said they wanted to come over."
"Yes, that's nice." Rarity shooed Spike away, impatient to get to the point with Rainbow Dash.
If Spike was frustrated with having to give up his game, he was incensed at Rarity's dismissal of him "Come on, Discord. Let's go hang out, you and me, drake-to-wyrm." Discord took Spike up on his offer and turned into a balloon for Spike to hold.
Twilight let them go, but she watched them with gritted teeth and bated breath. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable letting those two hang out together."
"All well and good, but there's something more pressing at the moment, Twilight, darling." Rarity said, about to give a demonstration of her skewed priorities as clear as water. "Rainbow Dash, I'm saying you and Tresemme had sex."
Rainbow Dash stared blankly at Rarity for several minutes. Dash blinked, her mind attempting to process Rarity's absurd, forward comment. Dash dropped to the floor and burst out into laughter. "AH – HA – HA! Oh, that's rich. Rarity, I did not have sex with Tresemme. Not today and not in any way."
"Are you sure, darling?" Rarity asked, sounding concerned for Dash. But really, she more worried about whether or not her social senses were dulling. "It's the only reason I can think of for your glow."
"Puh-lease." Dash said. "I think I would remember pretty clearly if I had sex with Tresemme."
"Science shows us that sex triggers the release of certain endorphins." Twilight said. "So it's possible the "glow" Rainbow Dash is exhibiting is merely a result of Tresemme finding some way to activate those endorphins … even if it wasn't sex."
Both Rarity and Rainbow Dash scoffed, but for different reasons than the other.
"Darling, please." Rarity said. "She and Tresemme had sex and I know it. Trust me. I know about these sorts of things."
"Yeah." Dash stifled a snort of derisive derision. "You know sex the way Twilight knows hoofball."
"I know plenty about hoofball." Twilight said. She was about to launch into a lecture about the origins and history of the sport.
"Besides just origins and history." Rainbow Dash said. "I mean, have you actually played it?"
Twilight bit her lip and blushed.
Applejack ran into the room, carrying a phone to her ear. "I'm afraid whatever is yer talking about is gonna have ta wait, y'all. Got a call coming in. The Mane-iac and her goons are raiding a salon."
Rarity gasped and whined. "Not the salon! That's one of my favorite types of buildings! Right next to the spa and clothing stores on my list." Rarity was on the receiving end of questioning stares from her fellows. "What? A girl can't have hobbies?"
The salon was a mess indeed. Soap and shampoo bottles were open and spilled on the floor, much to the ruing of the Mane-iac. The door hinges were busted and the shelves were toppled over as the Mane-iac's goons ransacked the place, looking for a key.
The Mane-iac had a salon employee by the throat, holding her with a tentacle. The employee so far had whimpered, pleaded, and begged for her life, but she had yet to give the nefarious villain what she came here for.
"Where is the key?" The Mane-iac snarled into the employee's face, threatening her with other tentacles.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about." The employee stuttered.
"You know! The key to the storage room?" The Mane-iac explained. "Where you keep all your extra supplies before moving it to the shelves? I need that shampoo so I can make my formula!"
"Let her go, Mane-iac."
The Mane-iac turned to see the Power Ponies standing tall in the remnants of the entrance. They were ready for a fight.
"And if I refuse?" The Mane-iac asked, lifting her hostage up in the air as an ambiguous threat to the heroes. Her hired henchmen got into position to fight.
The Masked Matter-horn snorted and huffed. After the humiliation she endured during today's last attempts at stopping a villainous scheme, Matter-horn was determined she and the Power Ponies would not be embarrassed again, even if it meant taking some drastic measures. "Power Ponies, power up."
And with those simple (and admittedly hamfisted) words, the fight was to be begun! Matter-horn charged up a beam from her horn and fired it, knocking henchmen flat on their backs. Radiance created walls of force and placed them in front of the henchmen, boxing them in place so Fili-Second could run delivering punches as if she was a punchy Easter bunny on the first week of April.
"Ha!" Fili-Second laughed. "It's like giving candy to a baby! A bunch of generic babies who share the same design the animators can copy and paste to fill out a scene!"
"Fili-Second, quit ambiguously leaning on the fourth wall and rescue the Mane-iac's hostage!" Matter-horn barked.
"Right!" In the blink of an eye or even less time, the blur of Fili-Second's super-speed jumped over the hapless henchmen and snatched the hostage from the Mane-iac's hairy grasp.
"Grrr!" The Mane-iac snarled and bared her teeth. While the other Power Ponies were kept busy by her henchmen, Mane-iac found herself facing an unexpected surprise in the form of Zap. "Huh? Ah." The Mane-smiled.
"All right, Mane-iac." Zap said. "This time, you're going down for good – what? What are you smiling about?"
The Mane-iac chuckled, creating a bed out of her tentacles and resting on it. Her affluence to the situation irked Zap with no end in sight.
"No, seriously, why are you smiling – OOP!" The Mane-iac's carefree attitude tricked Zapp into lowering her guard down – which was no doubt part of the evil Mane-iac's plan all along – and The Mane-iac snapped Zapp in a tentacle and pulled her close, giving Zapp on a kiss on the lips. Zapp's blush was so hot it might could reach Planck temperature.
"Mmmmmmwah!" The Mane-iac separated herself from Zapp with a loud pop and let the dumbstruck pegasus here floating in the air, confused about what happened just now. She was so confused, it gave the Mane-iac the time to maneuver around Zapp and smash her way out the salon, whipping the other Power Ponies aside with her tentacles and, out of pure hateful spite, she smashed up any glass she missed when she and her henchmen first came in.
Wha … Zapp thought. Why did she do that? Running a hoof over her lips to see if there were any physical signs of something evil had been transferred by the kiss, like a metal bug or poison, Zap's was struck further by a thought. And those lips … those lips felt familiar, but where would I have felt them before?
"Zapp!" Matter-horn teleported next to Zapp, breaking Zapp out of her daze. "What happened? You had her!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Zapp blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. Funny, isn't it. Pitiful, even, how after the wonderful feeling she had after she left Tresemme's place, Zapp's day was about to go downhill all over again. Unless … yes, she could see a light at the end of this tunnel. She could still fix this – she could salvage this and not let her friends down again.
"It won't happen again, guys. I promise. Let me go after her. I'll catch her. It's the least I can do to make it up to you guys after what happened earlier."
"Hmm." Matter-horn's face scrunched in a judgmental contemplation of this idea. "All right."
"Thanks, guys."
"What are you waiting for?" Matter-horn snapped. Despite Zapp's assumptions, she was still sore as a camel with the straw that broke its back. "Go!"
Zapp saluted and went racing out the door. Her heart was heavy with the knowledge she was fighting to not let her friends and beating fast from the dangerous speeds of flight she was moving, faster than most ponies could ever be prepared for. But she wasn't most ponies, she was Zapp; a Power Pony and one of the fastest pegasi around.
"Now ..." Mare-velous said. "What the odds y'all want ta bet she didn't catch Mane-iac 'cause she was thinkin' 'bout Tresemme again?"
"I'd say two-hundred to one." Radiance said with a hint of irritation.
"Matter-horn." Mare-velous turned to her. "Are we sure we can trust Zapp to do what she says and catch the Mane-iac?"
Matter-horn sighed. "I don't know. I've never known Rainbow Dash to let us down on purpose … but at the same time, facts are facts and she's not setting a good precedent for herself."
"So, what are we gonna do?" asked Mare-velous.
Matter-horn stroked her chin. "Hmm ..."
Zapp came whooshing out of the salon like a falcon diving after hopeless prey. She saw the Mane-iac fleeing, wriggling on a bed of tentacles for her getaway. The sight made Zapp think of a paniking squid. She watched the Mane-iac slip into a dark alleyway.
Of course. Zapp thought. It's ALWAYS a dark alleyway …
Not scared in the very least by the prospect of going headfirst into a place where a large majority of crimes, both civilian and super-powered, occurred, Zapp flew into the alleyway and descended onto her hooves. She scanned the alleyway for the Mane-iac, who seemed to have disappeared. She couldn't have fit all that hair into a dumpster, so she was either hiding elsewhere or escaped by using her tentacles to scale the walls.
"Mane-iac ..." Zapp said with a singsong voice. "Come out if you're here ..."
"I'm here, sweetheart."
The Mane-iac was holding herself in the air on a web of tentacles like a spider, spread against the walls of the alleyway to prop her up. With a psychotic grin, Mane-iac smacked the surprised Zapp with a tentacle to the face, sending Zapp tumbling.
Zapp regained control of her momentum and placed herself on her hooves. Snorting and huffing air, she rose to meet the Mane-iac.
"All right, you!" Zapp picked up her magical amulet in her teeth. "You have a lot of explaining to do, or I'll get messy."
"Messy?" Mane-iac said, climbing down from her perch. "I'd love to see you try."
"What's all the shampoo for?" Zapp demanded. "And why did you kiss me at the salon?"
Mane-iac raised an eyebrow at her, chuckling a mocking chuckle which set Zapp's nerves burning with rightful frustration. "Isn't is obvious?"
"Uh, no. No it's not!"
"Oh, poor Zapp." The Mane-iac was mocking her at this point, nothing more and nothing less. "Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
"What?" Zapp bit down harder on her amulet. It was getting more difficult to resist the urge to use it. "Quit talking in riddles and tell me why you kissed me! I'm warning you! This amulet gives me weather magic WAY beyond what most ordinary pegasus can do, and I'll use it on you. I could make a thunderstorm, or a hurricane, or a hailstorm."
"But you won't." Mane-iac said. "Too much collateral damage."
Zapp's eye twitched, for she knew the Mane-iac was right, as much as she hated to let such a thought pass through her mind. If a random civilian got hurt or a building destroyed, her friends would never forgive her and she might lose her license to practice vigilantism.
A cracking noise like the sound of a bomb going off pierced both their eyes. Purple smoke began to fill the alleyway, obstructing both Zapp and Mane-iac from the other's eyesight.
"What?" Mane-iac whipped her head in all direction, trying to discover who or what would be so bold, so daring and stupid as to come between her and her Power Pony nemesis. "Who's there? What is this?"
Zapp observed the smoke. Thrusting a hoof out into it, Zapp realized she recognized it. "I know who this is." She looked up at the rooftops, expecting to see her there. There was only one vigilante not associated with Power Ponies she knew of who used smoke bombs in this manner.0 Only one pony who went out at night and preyed on criminals, decrying as a superstitious and cowardly lot.
"Who am I? I am the terror that FLAPS in the NIGHT … I am the slacker in a school group project who coasts on the others' work … I am … the MYSTERIOUS MARE-DO-WELL!"
"And her sidekick, the Filly Wonder, Daring Do!"
"Yes, yes, yes. You're here too, Daring. Now let me do my thing." The Mare-Do-Well, showing absolutely no fear or hesitance of any kind, leaps from the rooftops and spreads her cloak, using it to slow her fall as she descended upon the Mane-iac and engaged her in a fistfight. Her purple and blue outfit hid her inside the cloud of color-matching smoke.
"I ..." Zapp stammered. "I have no idea what is going on anymore."
Daring Do fired a grappling line down the side of the wall and proceeded to climb down on it. But before she could answer Zapp's question, she ended up smacking her nose into a wall and falling. Zapp flew up to catch her and put her on the ground.
"What?" Daring Do shook her head to shake off the blow. "Oh, hi, Zapp! Could you let me down so I could go help Mare-Do-Well beat up Mane-iac?"
"No." Zapp said. "Not until you tell me what is going on here."
Daring Do shifted uncomfortably in Zapp's grasp, almost as if she couldn't tell Zapp what was going on. Deciding Daring Do needed a firm reminder of the fact Zapp was keeping her from falling, Zapp dumped Daring out from her hooves and let her hit the ground.
"Ow." Daring rubbed her head. "That wasn't nice."
"Yeah, well -" Zapp's sarcastic scolding would have to wait, as she heard The Mane-iac scream in pain. Zapp turned to see The Mane-iac lying flat on her back, wincing and groaning.
"I'll ..." The Mane-iac pushed herself up. "Make you pay for that." Despite Mane-iac's confident words, she was on the losing end of this match-up. Blood was leaking from her lip and her legs refused to stay in one place. Meanwhile, Mare-Do-Well struck with the underhanded, but effective tactics of a viper. She appeared from the clouds of purple smoke, struck at the Mane-iac, and retreated back into her camouflage.
Mare-Do-Well followed this pattern of attack once more, leaping onto the Mane-iac from behind and pulling on her hair. The Mane-iac staggered and attempted to buck Mare-Do-Well off. "Ow ow ow! Get off! Let go my hair, you jerk!"
Mare-Do-Well complied to Mane-iac's commands, release the Mane-iac's terrible tendrils from the grip of her hooves. Mare-Do-Well wrapped her hooves around the Mane-iac's midsection and took the Mane-iac for a tumble, tilting her to the side and slamming into the concrete.
"No!" Zapp screamed and reached as if to touch the Mane-iac, to grab her and drag her out of harm's way and tell her everything was going to be all right. "Quit hurting her! You're going to break her or even kill her!"
Mare-Do-Well turned to Zapp with her masked eyes betraying no hint of any emotion. Like a cold, unfeeling machine, she turned back to the Mane-iac and resumed her brutal treatment of her.
"No. No." Adjusting the amulet in her teeth, Zapp pointed it to the sky. "I'm sorry, Mare-Do-Well, but Mane-iac still some has answers I need." A gold light shined from the amulet. The wind picked up … and up and up and up until it blew Mare-Do-Well's smoke out from the alleyway, removing her camouflage and her combat advantage.
"What are you doing?" Daring Do shrieked. "You can't just rescue the Mane-iac! She's a villain and a criminal!"
"Sorry, kid." Zapp said through muffled teeth. "But I have questions I need to ask her, and I can't do that if Mare-Do-Well chops her in two!" After the wind sufficiently blew enough of the smoke, Zapp descended onto the ground to begin her line of questioning anew.
"Now, Mane-iac, since I just saved from Mare-Do-Not-Well …" Zapp said before she looked around and saw the Mane-iac was gone. "What the? She was just here!"
"Yes." Daring Do walked up to Zapp. "And thanks to you blowing Mare-Do-Well's smoke away, she escaped. If something disrupts Mare-Do-Well's smoke, she finds a place to hide so she can still get in one last sneak attack. The Mane-iac probably climbed one of the buildings and escaped while Mare-Do-Well was looking for a hiding place." Daring Do huffed. "No thanks to you. If it weren't for you, Zapp, we probably would have caught the Mane-iac and been able to put her away for good!"
"If it weren't me for, Mare-Do-Well probably would have killed her." Zapp shot back.
"She would never go that far." Daring Do said. "I might, maybe ..."
"What?"
"Nothing. The point is, thanks to you being obsessed with – with – with whatever it is you're obsessed about regarding the Mane-iac, another chance to apprehend has slipped away. And furthermore -"
"Uh, no offense, kid." Zapp pointed. "But Mare-Do-Well is gone, too. Think maybe you should try to follow her back to your base?"
"Oh, is she!?" Daring Do looked around saw Zap was right. "Aw, man! I gotta get back to her pronto!" Daring Do galloped out of the alleyway and into the street.
Zapp was thankful to be left alone. Everything which had been happening in the last few minutes was incredibly hectic, so for her to get a chance to sit down and do nothing was a welcome relief while she thought, she wondered, she pondered about when and where everything started going wrong.
The thankfulness she felt disappeared when the rest of the Power Ponies appeared, approaching from the northeast street and walking up to the alley where they'd seen Daring Do leave from.
"Guys!" Zapp rose up to meet them. "I am so thankful you're here. First, I chased the Mane-iac, then Mare-Do-Well showed up and then – I don't even know what's going on anymore!"
"Perhaps we can explain." Radiance said, and only now did Zapp notice the disappointed and irritated expressions on their faces. "Truth be told, we called in Mare-Do-Well as backup because … well, we weren't quite sure you were going to get the job done, darling."
"Uh, what? Why would you think that? Guys?" Zapp backed away, fearful of the answer to the question she was about to ask. "What's going on?"
"We'll tell you what's going on." Matter-horn said. "Ever since you've begun meeting with Tresemme, your performance as a Power Pony has gone way down. You weren't there to help with High Heel and Long Face. You were clearly distracted in the salon by thoughts of Tresemme -"
"No I wasn't! I was distracted by the Mane-iac kissing me!"
The Power Ponies' eyes raised up in shock and confusion at this.
"Still." Matter-horn said. "That doesn't change the fact we're beginning to lose faith in your ability to be an effective superhero for this city. We're beginning to lose faith in your reliability. We're beginning to lose faith in you. I'm going to give you an ultimatum, Zapp … Either figure how to properly balance your relationship, get your act together and start focusing on missions again without getting distracted by – by surprise kisses by the bad guy or whatever … OR break up with Tresemme."
Leaving the slack-jawed, stunned Zapp to deal with this bombshell by her lonesome, the other Power Ponies turned away from and marched off to the mansion.
Author's Notes
I know the hammy comic-book narration still isn't quite up to snuff this chapter, but I tried to still leave it in there in certain sentences and word choices. It's just become painfully clear to me I keep that up 100% of the time and still write the story.