Note: This story is the work of Darkryt Orbinautz.
A My Little Pony Fanfiction
Mind Over Mane-Iac
Issue 4 In A Seven-Issue Mini-series!
Divided Loyalties!
THE TEST! When another encounter with the Mane-Iac leaves Zapp flustered, the Power Ponies are forced to take corrective measures. But Discord might have stumbled onto a startling secret that will make Dash's dating life more than a just matter of disciplinary action!
THE NEXT DAY …
Twilight Sparkle woke up, as so many do, cursing the sunlight coursing through the window. She pondered the possibility of using her connection with Celestia to introduce a bill decreeing "morning" was considered not to take place until at least 11: 30 AM, and anything before then was to be considered part of "last night." Getting up from her bed, her mind was coherent enough to think about and realize the potential problems such a legislation would not doubt induce.
Getting out from her bed, Twilight went to the dining hall where breakfast was already underway without her – or Rainbow Dash. Thought bowls and plates for both were already set up.
"Good morning, darling." Rarity said. "Did you get a good night's sleep?"
Twilight surveyed the room. Everypony was eating, sure, but their gazes were all averted from each other and the motions they made to eat their food were tired and mechanical, as if they were doing it simply because they knew it needed to be done, rather than taking the time to sit down and enjoy their meal.
"As well as of any of us." Twilight said. The reaction to this by the other ponies was to widened their eyes and drop their silverware. Had they been so obvious in their discontent with the previous night's situation? "What do we have for breakfast today, girls?"
"Oatmeal and muffins." Fluttershy said.
"Yum. I love oatmeal." Twilight picked up a spoon and scooped out a bite.
"Courtesy of Discord. He conjured them up for us. Isn't he sweet?" Fluttershy said.
Everypony at the table stopped eating and looked at Fluttershy, contemplating whether she was wearing rose-colored glasses or needed to be sent to the mental ward. Twilight dropped her spoon back into the oatmeal. A good choice, as the oatmeal rose up and crawled out of its bowl, taking on the likeness of a miniature Smooze. It frowned and grumbled before scooting away from Twilight, as if offended she wouldn't eat from its body, and went off to find somepony who would. Perhaps Pinkie Pie would be willing.
Fluttershy noticed the omnipresent loss of appetite which seized the room like a plague. "Um, I'll go start another pot, if that's okay with everypony." Enthusiastic nods and agreements were shared.
"Fluttershy, wait." Twilight reached out. "Before you do that, I think it's time one of us said what everpony is thinking; were we too harsh on Rainbow Dash last night?"
Fluttershy fiddled with her hooves while Rarity became curiously interested in the drapes and Applejack took on a guilty expression.
Rarity was the first to break the silence. "Perhaps calling in the Mare-Do-Well was a bit hasty."
"She said Mane-iac went and gave her a kiss. Now, Ah don't know 'bout y'all, but Ah would find that pretty distracting myself."
"And she did seem awfully hurt we didn't believe in her." Fluttershy said.
Twilight pounded her hooves on the table. "Well, that settles it. I'm going to apologize. You go make the oatmeal, Fluttershy." Fluttershy nodded as Twilight left and headed for Rainbow Dash's room.
"Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked, going THWOK-THWOK-THWOCK on the door to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy's shared room. "Rainbow Dash, would you join us for breakfast, please?"
Twilight's request was enough to get the door to creak open and a wary Rainbow Dash stepped out. "Hey."
"Hey." Twilight said. The awkwardness surrounding the two ponies threatened to smother and suffocate them. Neither of them sure what to say, they mirrored and mimicked each other by scratching at their heads.
"So, listen, about last night ..."
"You don't need to say anything, Twilight." Rainbow Dash said. "I know I messed up yesterday, and you and the girls aren't going to forgive me for awhile. But I promise I will work my flank off until -"
"No, no." Twilight shook her head. "That wasn't what I was going to say. I'm not here to lecture you."
"It wasn't? You're not?"
"No! I'm here to apologize." Twilight bowed her head, making Rainbow Dash feel awkward. What was the social convention for when a Princess, without any social cue or prompt, unexpectedly bows their head to a commoner? "We should have trusted you when you said you would handle the Mane-iac and we should have listened to you when you tried to tell us about Mane-iac distracting you with a kiss. We're sorry, Rainbow Dash."
"No." Dash put a hoof on Twilight. "I should be the one who's sorry. If I was there for you to stop whatever Long Face was doing-"
"How?" Twilight said. "You can't be in two places at once, Rainbow Dash. Yes, we were upset about you not being there, but that doesn't give us the right to call in another superhero on a whim. We should have believed in you."
"Heh." Rainbow Dash smiled. "I guess we all sort of screwed up a little bit. How about we just admit that and we can move on?"
Twilight gave Rainbow a great big hug. "Okay."
"Hey … does this mean I don't have to breakup with Tresemme anymore?"
Twilight giggled. "No. As you long as you promise to properly balance your relationship with your responsibility as Power Pony."
"Don't worry, Twilight." Rainbow Dash saluted. "I'll make sure to keep my love life in line, and that's a one-hundred percent guaranteed Rainbow Dash-certified promise."
"Hey, guys!" Spike strolled into the room. "The Cutie Mark Crusaders are here."
"Oh!" Twilight and Rainbow exchanged surprised looks. "The Cutie Mark Crusaders!"
"I totally forgot they wanted to come over!"
"You might want to hurry up." Spike rested his claw on the doorframe. "I'm not sure how much more the front entrance door can take." With this uncertainty of Spike's in mind, Rainbow Dash and Twilight took in blurs of light to the entrance – Rainbow Dash moving a little faster than Twilight, of course.
Meanwhile, at the headquarters (the SINFUL headquarters!) of our villains, the Sinful Six, their leader, Mane-iac, entered through the door and punched in her time-card. The mere fact everypony who worked in the building was either a supervillain or working for a supervillain did not entitle them to ignore labor union rules, which were stringent about employees not being made to work more than a select number of hours a day. Granted, the supervillains had no compunctions about excessive overtime or poor pay if they met their needs, but half their minions were just thugs-for-hire, so they needed some way to keep things organized.
The rest of the Sinful Six gathered around to greet their leader. Long Face, High Heel, the most phony of phony pony pharaohs, Pharaoh Phetlocke, the beady-eyed hooded thief in the shadows, Shadowmane, and the silent, sticky pile of goo known as Smudge (any relationship to the Smooze was at this time, speculative, but rumors persisted.)
"Mane-iac?" Phetlocke was the first to notice the Mane-iac's tired, unfocused expression, as if she had a headache, took a headache relief pill, and yet still was possessed of a headache. "Are you all right?"
"Hmm?" The Mane-iac turned an eyebrow at him. "Oh, it's nothing, dears. Just thinking about some things … and wondering about lives that could and couldn't be. I'm fine. We need to get to work if my shampoo plan is to succeed."
Hearing this, the rest of the Six gathered amongst themselves and whispered in hushed tones, lest their boss should overhear them expressing their doubts.
"I don't like it." Shadowmane said. "She's not usually like this."
""Lives that could and couldn't be?"" High Heel said. "And I thought Smudge had a lockdown on the whole "existential crisis" thing." This earned a displeased glare from Smudge. "What do we do?"
"I'm not sure." Phetlocke said. "She may not say as much, but something is bothering her. Try to ask her about it again later. Prod her until she spills the beans. But be gentle about it. This requires a delicate approach."
"Dears?" Mane-iac asked. "Are you going to help with my grand plot or not?"
Phetlocke and the others felt like schoolchildren getting ready for the bus, their mother berating and nagging them to ensure they went to school on time. "Coming!"
At the mansion, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the rambunctious bunch of racketeers, the Musketeers of Marks, were brought inside and guided through the halls by the bigger ponies.
"Eeeeh!" Sweetie Belle squealed, a noise which was well-familiar to Rarity, but no less stinging to her poor, poor ears. "I can't wait. This is gonna be the best sleepover ever."
"Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that, darling." Rarity said. "While there's nothing I love more than spending time with my dear little sister, we are adults. We have certain responsibilities which will have to take precedence over hanging out with you. Isn't that right, Rainbow Dash?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, right. Sorry, squirt." Rainbow Dash patted Scootaloo on the back. "Sometimes being a grown-up stinks like Discord's body odor."
"What are y'all doin' at night?" Apple Bloom asked.
The ponies froze up. They hadn't told the Cutie Mark Crusaders about them being the masked Power Ponies – they couldn't. The smaller the circle of ponies knew, the better and safer they were. Spike, Discord, and the Princesses – and that was it. It might rude to their families and to their siblings, but if they told loud, sometimes thoughtless ponies like the Cutie Mark Crusaders, there was no doubt in their own minds the Crusaders would get frustrated with a pony's teasing and blurt out something about their siblings being superheroes. Heck, Pinkie Pie struggled to keep it a secret enough as it is.
"Uuh … big pony things." Rarity said. "Very, very big pony things which we will tell you about when you're older."
"Aw, come on!" Scootaloo complained. "I mean, it's not like we don't already hang out with you when we're -" Apple Bloom stuffed a hoof into Scootaloo's mouth.
Rarity grew curious. "When you're what, darlings?"
"Eh, what Scootaloo means to say is that she perfectly understands y'all have necessities y'all need to attend to." Apple Bloom affixed Scootaloo with the dirtiest of dirty glares. "Isn't that right?" Apple Bloom nodded for Scootaloo to nod, who complied.
"Are you sure?" Rarity asked. "That doesn't sound like what she was saying to me." She leered at Sweetie Belle, expecting if they were hiding a collaborative secret, she could get her own sister to crack first. Sweetie Belle could tell what Rarity was doing and broke into a sweat, but kept her composure.
"Well now." Discord floated backwards into the room, his serpentine form looping in the air. "Pardon me for overhearing, but it sounds like you're trying to get these delightful fillies to admit a little secret."
"Well … yes!" Rarity said. "What of it?"
"Oh, I'm it's fine." Discord waved his paw. "After all, it's not like there's something you and your friends have been collaborating in keeping from them, is there?"
Rarity blushed as Discord made her realize the extent of her hypocrisy. She quickly turned away from the fillies.
"Hey." Rainbow Dash grabbed Scootaloo, pulling her close. "We may not always have time to hang out with you while we're here, but I promise one night, we'll sit down together and make some smores. What do you say?"
Scootaloo's eyes turned starry at the prospect of marshallowy, chocolatey, cracker goodness. "You mean it?"
"Oh no, she doesn't mean it. She'll be much too busy hanging out with Tresemme." Discord rudely remarked, raining on their parade.
"Discord!" Fluttershy said. "That was rude."
"Hey, somepony needs to break the awful truth about love to these poor, poor fillies." Discord picked Apple Bloom up in his claws and held her like a stuffed animal, with Apple Bloom scrunching up her lips in the most adorable, confused way.
"Who's Tresemme?" Scootaloo asked.
"She's – she's no one." Rainbow Dash said, ushering Scootaloo towards the guest room. "At least, not compared to you, Scootaloo."
"Aaawww. Do you really mean that, Rainbow Dash?"
"I do. One-hundred and twenty percent." Rainbow Dash pulled Scootaloo into a hug and snuggled her. The urge for the other ponies watching to giggle and go "aww" was irresistible, which embarrassed Rainbow Dash, so she pushed Scootaloo away and whistled.
The phone rang.
"I'll get it!" Pinkie Pie announced, rearing up to use her super-speed to fetch the phone. But at the last second, she realized the Crusaders were watching her and she backed down, skipping and prancing at normal Pinkie Pie pace. Whatever "normal" was in regards to Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie returned, dragging the phone and table with her, the phone's electric wiring tangled around the table's legs. She presented the phone to Rainbow Dash. "It's for you."
"Wha-? Lame." Scootaloo said at sight of the phone. "Who even has a rotary phone anymore?"
"Hello?" Dash ignored Scootaloo and took the phone.
"Hello, Rainbow Dash." Tresemme's silky voice came oozing through, making Rainbow Dash blush. "I was wondering if maybe we could hang out together sometime today? Maybe bring Firefly along too?"
"Oh, uh … that would be lovely." Dash said, to the confusion of the others. Dash pulled the phone away and whispered to them. "It's Tresemme." Dash returned to the phone. "But I can't. Not today. There's a chance my friends will need my help before the day is over."
"Oh … okay. I understand. Maybe tomorrow." Tresemme's voice sounded disappointed, yet still understanding. Hearing Tresemme's lovely voice speak in such a tone threatened to rip Rainbow Dash's heart clean in two; she almost would have preferred for Tresemme to sound just disappointed, selfish as that would be, instead of disappointed and understanding. Dash hung up the phone and bade Pinkie to take the phone away and return the table to its rightful place.
"Rainbow, I'm surprised at you." Rarity said as she scooted Scootaloo and the other Crusaders into their room and closed the door. "Turning down a chance to spend time with Tresemme? Especially when it was offered so freely."
"Yeah, I know, I know." Dash said. "But you know what? I figured it was more important for me to be here for you guys in case the Mane-iac or her goons show up."
"Well, I can't say I'm not impressed." Twilight walked up to Dash and placed a hoof on her. "I know how much you've fallen in love with Tresemme, so saying no to her like that … it couldn't have been easy."
"Yeah. It wasn't. But Scootaloo is more important - you girls are all more important to me. Besides, it's not like I'll never get to see her again, is it?"
"No, it's not." Twilight said. "You'll get more chances to hang out with her. I can almost guarantee it."
"We're proud of ya, R.D." Applejack said. "Sayin' no to her the way ya did must have taken some guts, especially for the first time."
"It gets easier after the first time." Rarity said. "Trust me. I know."
"What's that?" Pinkie said. "It's coming to me! It's my Pinkie Sense! What is it? I know! It's sensing A GROUP HUG!" Pinkie sped around the room, picking up ponies and depositing them within arm's length of Rainbow Dash. Per Pinkie's prediction, everypony closed in on and hugged Rainbow Dash, smiles on all their faces.
LATER THAT SAME NIGHT …
The Mane-iac swung her way from building to building, using her hair to scale the walls and leap from one rooftop to the next until she found her next target – another factory for shampoo and other cosmetics.
"Finally." Mane-iac expressed as she and her minions, using grappling hooks, landed on the rooftop. "It took Long Face and Smudge so very, very long to find a shampoo factory deep enough into town those pesky Power Brats wouldn't make it here in time." The Mane-iac reached out a tentacle and grabbed a nearby ventilation shaft. A single strand of hair, sufficiently wrapped around, could cut off circulation to a pony's limb. Given this, it should be no surprise the Mane-iac's serveral strands of woven-together hair could rip the shaft out from the building, lift it up, and bring it swinging down like a hammer into the roof. The impact created a hole in the rooftop wide enough for Mane-iac and her company to climb into.
Reaching her tentacles in like an elevator, the Mane-iac descended onto the floor with grace, sliding in on her luxurious locks as though they were a firefighter's pole.
"Begin the transfer!" The Mane-iac bade. Her minions ransacked and ravaged the factory, picking up shampoo bottles and pouring them out onto the floor. With this done, the minions pulled out canisters – canisters filled with the Mane-iac's new brand of brainwashing shampoo! The minions opened their canister and poured the Mane-iac's mixture into the shampoo bottles. After they cleaned up after themselves, the employees of the factory would be none the wiser and let the bottles go out to market, thinking everything was fine, never knowing their product been tampered with as a result of the Mane-iac's plotting. The ponies who bought this brand would buy it and use it on themselves, never suspecting the shampoo would turn them into mindless slaves of the Mane-iac!
"Hurry!" The Mane-iac hissed. "We need to finish this quickly, before those pesky Power Brats arrive!"
"Oh, you mean like right now?"
"Yes, I mean like right now!" The Mane-iac snapped, her pupils dilating in seething anger before widening in surprise. "... Wait a minute."
Mistress Mare-velous would not be waiting, thank you very much. She wasted no time in leaping up, up and away and delivering a flying buck to the Mane-iac's face, knocking the Mane-iac off her tentacles and sending her body tumbling along the factory tile.
The Mane-iac pushed herself and glared at the Power Ponies before pointing her minions at them. "ATTACK!"
"You guys deal with her henchponies." Zapp said. "I'll deal with the Mane-iac."
Matter-horn and Radiance gave concerned looks. "Zapp, are you sure?"
"We're not doubting you, darling. We're just concerned."
"Matter-horn, Radiance … I've never been more sure of anything in my life." When this response generated an approving nod, Zapp took off to meet her nemesis on the field of battle while the rest of the Power Ponies cut swathes through the minions.
"Oh, you want to play this dance again, sweetheart?" The Mane-iac asked with a sultry smile. Extending her tentacles, she lassoed her hair around Zapp's body and pulled the pegasus close, planting a kiss on Zapp's lips. Zapp's eyes widened, but not for the reasons one might expect.
So that's where … I knew I recognized how these lips felt! Zapp thought. She wouldn't let this realization or the Mane-iac's coy games distract her this time, though. Adjusting her hooves around, Zapp reached her amulet and tapped it. The amulet activated, sending out an enormous burst of lightning which sent the Mane-iac flying through the air and chucked her through a wall. The explosion of electrical energy shredded through the plaster and the iron of the building, creating a large hole – both in the wall and in the owner's insurance money.
The Mane-iac rolled and tumbled onto the street. Cars riding on their way home from work stopped and honked, others swerving to avoid a collision. The Mane-iac rubbed her head and growled at Zapp.
Zapp gestured for Mane-iac to bring it.
Mane-iac used her tentacles as a springboard and jumped out of the street, launching herself at Zapp with her tendrils poised to strike in the lightning-quick fashion of a scorpion's sting. Zapp was having no part of that, raising her amulet up and summoning a gust of wind which blew the Mane-iac off-course, sending her colliding with a nearby dumpster.
Zapp descended onto the ground, flapping her wings. The Mane-iac slid down from the dumpster's lid and landed on her hooves, ready to give Zapp a proper trashing. Whinnying, the Mane-iac charged at Zapp, her tentacles flailing around as if they were live wires.
Zapp wasn't too concerned. With a brisk, calm, almost arrogant movement, she lifted her amulet up, summoning a lightning bolt to strike Mane-iac, stopping her in her tracks and leaving her charred and scorched.
"Ooh ..." The Mane-iac wobbled and sway on the spot. Zapp came up to her. As an ironic mockery of what the Mane-iac had done to her, Zapp grabbed the Mane-iac and pulled her in for a kiss on the lips … right before clocking the Mane-iac with a punch, knocking her down.
"Ready to turn yourself in?" Zapp asked, standing over her fallen nemesis.
"NEVER!" The Mane-iac took her tentacle and swept it along it Zapp's underside, knocking Zapp's legs out from under her. The Mane-iac stood up and was readying to strike when a black discus flew from the rooftops and smacked her on the head.
"Huh?" Zapp wondered as she got up. Mare-Do-Well appeared next to her, as if manifesting from the darkness itself. "Oh, not you again. Did the girls call you?"
"Oh, no no!" Mare-Do-Well said. "I came here of my own accord. You looked like you could use a helping hoof."
"I had her just fine by myself, thank you." Zapp turned back to the Mane-iac. "But since you're here, you might as well help. But no killing her, got it?"
"I was never going to kill her." Mare-Do-Well said. "In fact, I have a very strict no-killing policy. A violent beatdown that leaves them unable to walk for a week? Sure. But never a kill. Not by my hooves."
"Uh-huh." Zapp wasn't sure she believed her. Noticing the Mane-iac getting up, Zapp readied her amulet while Mare-Do-Well pulled out another discus from her pocket. Both proved unnecessary, as the Mane-iac, after a good effort to keep herself propped up, fell back to the ground.
"Huh." Mare-Do-Well said. "I guess you didn't need my help after all."
"Nope." Zapp said with pride in the fact she didn't – and as far she was concerned, never needed Mare-Do-Well's help to begin with. Ego? What's that? "Now let's take in her and figure out what her evil plan is ..."
"I think not, Power Ponies!" A glass vial hit the ground and exploded into a cloud of dark smoke.
"I'm not a Power Pony!" Mare-Do-Well protested.
"We're not going to let you take her so easily!" High Heel's voice said from the smokescreen. The sound of a pony's face eating asphalt could be heard from the wriggly, murky clouds. "Dang it, Long Face, you couldn't make it so that we could see through the fog and they couldn't?"
"Uh, no. It's a two-way street." Long Face answered.
"Both of you shut up." Phetlocke said. "We've got what we wanted."
By the time Zapp figured out to use her amulet to conjure a gust of wind to blow the smokescreen away, it was already too late; the Sinful Six were escaping with their unconscious leader, riding a physical train made of Smudge's elastic body. The Six rode atop Smudge as he bounded onto the rooftops and escaped into the night.
"I swear that guy is related to the Smooze." Zapp said. She turned to thank Mare-Do-Well for her help, even if she didn't really want or appreciate it, but Mare-Do-Well was already gone. "How does she do that?"
"Zapp!" Matter-horn and the other Power Ponies arrived on the scene – though it was too little, too late. "What happened?"
"Ah. I almost had Mane-iac, then Mare-Do-Well showed up." Matter-horn's surprised face at this hinted to Zapp Mare-Do-Well was being truthful when she said she only came to help. "And before we could take her in, the rest of her buddies showed up and rescued her."
"Well, sounds like y'all had quite a tussle." Mare-velous said.
"Don't worry." Matter-horn said. "We'll get her, Zapp. We'll make sure the next time is the last time."
"Yeah ..." Zapp nodded, her mind worrying about other things. "Sure." This confused Matter-horn; what could be more important than the final capture of their nemesis?
The Power Ponies returned to their mansion and slept the night. They weren't tireless, and it would have done good to run circles around the city to find Mane-iac while they were sleep-deprived. Once rested, though, Twilight wasted no time in calling for a meeting in the morning to discuss their next move.
"All right, ponies." Twilight pulled a chalkboard into the room. On its surface were chalk drawings of what they knew about the Mane-iac's plan thus far, with diagrams and illustrations. "We know whatever the Mane-iac's planning involves a lot of shampoo. Now, put your heads together and think; what could she possibly do with so much shampoo?"
"Uh, make a brainwashing shampoo which she tries to get ponies to use, making them into slaves?" Pinkie suggested.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Pinkie Pie."
"Oh, okay. Umm, what about … mixing it all together and creating a giant shampoo blob monster to devour the city?"
"She does have Smudge for reference." Rarity said. "She could take a sample of his DNA and then mix it with the shampoo she's been collecting."
"Doesn't seem likely, but it's worth looking into." Twilight said. "Rainbow Dash? You've been awfully quiet."
"Huh?" Dash said. "Oh yeah. Listen, Twilight … is it okay if I go see Tresemme today?"
"But we need you here to help us figure out the Mane-iac's plan!"
"I know, but … think you could figure it out without me?" Dash scratched her neck. "There's something I really want to talk to Tresemme about."
"I don't know ..." Twilight looked around, searching for anypony who might a vote or objection to allowing Rainbow Dash to take this course of action. Rarity nodded to let Dash continue. "All right. You did put on a pretty good showing against the Mane-iac last night, and all of her minions who were there are now in holding. That'll cut into her resources. Okay. You can go, Rainbow Dash."
"Thanks." Rainbow Dash got off her seat and headed for the exit.
Even if I really don't want to ...
Her heart feeling heavy as a stone, Rainbow Dash went out the door and walked to Tresemme's place. The last two times she did this, a giddy excitement coursed through her every bone; but now those bones were filled with nothing but dread and despair, and a depressed resignation to do what it was that needed to be done.
Reaching Tresemme's house, Rainbow Dash considered backing out. She thought about turning back. About letting it slide and ignoring the painful realization she made last night and pretending everything was fine when she was around Tresemme. She turned around and lowered onto a step, but her teeth chattered as if they were alive and telling her to go through with this. With a sigh, Rainbow Dash turned back and knocked on the door. She entertained a brief Tresemme wouldn't be home, thus depriving Dash her chance to ask this bothersome question.
"Rainbow Dash." Tresemme opened the door. "I didn't know you were coming over. What's this about? Oh, it is a surprise? Chocolates? A birthday party invite? Do you want to order a pizza or something, maybe?"
"Stop." Rainbow Dash. "Tresemme, just … stop."
Tresemme tilted her head, a concerned look growing on her face. "Rainbow Dash, what's wrong?" She reached up to touch Dash's chin, only for Dash to deliver a physical rebuke.
"It's about last night." Dash said.
"Um … Rainbow Dash? We didn't see each other last night."
"Yes we did." Dash said.
Tresemme did something Dash had yet to see her do, and never thought she would see Tresemme do. She was normally so calm and reserved, but Dash could tell, could see Tresemme was getting nervous. "I'm … afraid I really don't know what you're talking about." She backed into the house, her hoof slowly bringing the door to closed state.
Dash slammed her hoof against the door and let herself in. She bucked the door shut. "Quit playing games with me, Tresemme. Just- just be straight with me when I ask … are you the Mane-iac?"
Tresemme blinked. Her quivering eyes gave Rainbow Dash a soulful, piercing and hurt glare, as if her husband had just accused her of cheating on him. Rainbow Dash's expression was unchanged.
"I don't suppose you'd believe me even if I said no."
"Not really."
Tresemme sighed. "Yes. Yes, Rainbow Dash, I am the Mane-iac. And I know Firefly is actually Rainbow Dash, and I know Rainbow Dash is Zapp. You should really get a more face-obscuring mask. You know, like Mare-Do-Well. You can question her methods, but she's got the whole secret identity thing down."
"Don't-" Dash shook her head. "Don't talk to me about Mare-Do-Well."
"Sorry."
Both ponies fell silent. They looked down at the floor and scuffed their hooves.
"So ..." Dash her head up. "What happens now?"
Tresemme smiled. It was soft and sweet at first, but slowly grew into something seductive and wicked. Something sultry and sinister. "Would you like to come in for a shower with me? And maybe some … tentacles, as well?"
Rainbow Dash, without understanding why, suddenly felt a heat run through her body. She took in a deep breath, an arousal spiking up within her.
Why am I getting aroused? Dash thought to herself.
"Don't you remember, Rainbow Dash?" Tresemme stroked Dash's chin. "You like tentacles."
"I … like tentacles."
"You love taking showers with me." Tresemme said with a wicked smile. Rainbow Dash had to look twice, as she thought she saw fangs in Tresemme's mouth.
"I … love taking showers with you, Tresemme." Dash said in an emotionless, monotone voice as her conditioning reactivated to its full effect, putting her under Tresemme's trance once again.
"Ugh." Twilight banged her head against the chalkboard. Thirty minutes later, they were no closer to figuring out what the Mane-iac's endgame was. "What is it? What's her goal? Why all the shampoo?"
"Sorry, Twi." Applejack said. "We're not geniuses, like you."
"I'm sorry, darling, but we don't know." Rarity said. "Who could ever fully understand the workings the mind of a crazy pony like the Mane-iac anyway?"
Twilight separated her head from the chalkboard. She gave the chalkboard a look of empathy and pity. A tear fell down her eye as her prone-to-panic mind created and exacerbated several end-of-the-world scenarios resulting from their failure to figure out the Mane-iac's plan – an entire city drowning in an ocean of shampoo, being smothered by a blob monster, like Pinkie suggested, or simply flooding the market with shampoo and causing the industry to crash and burn. Which didn't sound too bad on paper, but a decrease in stocks and holdings and the failure of one industry could and would roll to the next, creating a domino effect where the entire – or at least major sections of – the economy fell in on themselves.
Twilight pressed her hooves on the chalkboard. "I bet the Originals could figure it out."
The reaction to the mention of the Originals was wild and varied from pony to pony. Rarity gasped. Pinkie Pie stuffed her hooves into her mouth to keep from screaming – or crying. Scre-crying, perhaps. Applejack brought her hat over her chest. Fluttershy put her hooves together and whispered a prayer.
"May Celestia guide them, wherever they are." Fluttershy said.
"Darling … I didn't realize … we haven't talked about them in so long." Rarity said.
Twilight went down a few rooms to a portrait. The hall was open-access, unlike some of their Power Pony stations, and the portrait was in full view of any who wished to see. It was easy to see and just as easy to overlook. But if one were to go up to and examine it, they would eventually catch onto the fact it depicted the Power Ponies. But not the Power Ponies as they appeared in the present day, no. This was exposed by the different in their coats and manes.
See, Twilight's team were not the original Power Ponies – that title belonged to this team, here, in the portrait. So technically, they would be "Matter-horn II," "Radiance II," and so on. One day, after a serious of grueling and painful events involving both Twilight's friends and the original Power Ponies, the Power Ponies decided they needed to step down and retire. They asked Twilight's friends to be their successors – to keep the legend alive and protect the city of Maretropolis.
They gave Twilight's friends training, their costumes and magic items, and disappeared for parts unknown. But not before leaving Twilight a golden ring with an onyx set into it – the Power Ponies promised Twilight, even if they were retired, all she had to do was push the onyx into the ring like a button and they would return to Maretropolis to deliver some geriatric butt-whoopings.
Twilight placed a hoof under the portrait. "They would have figured out the Mane-iac's scheme by now. They would have stopped it by now."
"Oh, darling ..." Rarity and the others joined Twilight in the hall. "Please, quit beating yourself up like this."
"Yes." Discord appeared. "Especially since all you need to do to figure Mane-iac's plan is to ask Rainbow Dash."
Twilight glared at Discord. "Rainbow Dash isn't here. We let her go see Tresemme."
"Ah, yes. Tresemme." Discord.
"And even if we hadn't let her go, how would she know?"
"The answer lies with Tresemme."
"What's Tresemme got to do with it?" Applejack asked. "And how do you know so much about it? You know something we don't?"
"I know lots of things you don't." Discord said. "For example, if one were to attempt to breed a Manticore with a Chimera, what you get is – in addition to Celestia yelling at you about messing with nature -"
"Um, Discord?" Fluttershy asked softly and sweetly. "Could you, um, maybe stay on topic, please?"
Fluttershy's sweet tone appeared to win him over. "Oh, of course, Fluttershy. I don't understand I could be so careless and distracted." Discord momentarily turned himself into a clown wearing a blindfold, driving a car through the air with his body sticking out the window, causing him to hit a stop sign before reverting to normal.
"Yeah." Applejack let slip a passive-aggressive remark. "It's a mystery. Y'all are usually so focused."
"Anyway, with a little eavesdropping ..." Discord popped one eye out his head and it morphed into a liquid medicine bottle marked "EVE'S DROPS." "And some observation ..." Discord plucked the other eye and it turned into a tiny telescope. "The answer becomes obvious!"
"What becomes obvious?" Applejack asked.
"Think, girls, think!" Discord said. He presented the telescope to Twilight. "Oh, here, Twilight, this is for you. I know how much you love telescopes."
Twilight couldn't help but squeal in excitement. She reached for the telescope, but then remembered first, it was a gift from Discord; accepting gifts from Discord was almost never a good idea, unless your name was Fluttershy. Second … "Isn't this made out of your eye?" Twilight looked up to see both of Discord's eyes had regenerated. The Eve's Drops bottle had disappeared, yet the tiny telescope had not. "O … kay." Twilight took the telescope and pocketed it, making a note to find a large clear area away from the city and possibly detonate the telescope there.
"I think you'll find it gives you a better view of the stars than even your largest, most expensive telescope." Discord said. "Isn't that just the way? Now, where was I? Oh yes, Tresemme! Tresemme works for a hair care company, doesn't she?"
"Yeah?" Applejack asked. "We know that."
"And the Mane-iac has a serious crush on manes." Discord said.
"Where are y'all goin' with this?"
"Think!" Discord insisted, conjuring up a dunce cap and placing it on Applejack's head. "We know the Mane-iac's taking to making out with Zapp. Now, has anypony noticed this didn't start happening until after Rainbow Dash – I'm sorry, "Firefly" began dating Tresemme, despite the Mane-iac having a perfectly good pair of lips to distract Zapp with? To distract ANY of you with?"
"Wait ..." Applejack rubbed her head as she put the pieces together. "Are y'all sayin' ..."
"Oh, I'm not saying anything." Discord said.
"Tresemme is the Mane-iac?" Twilight blurted out, getting a clue.
"Darlings … didn't we let Rainbow Dash go see Tresemme?" Rarity asked.
"We did!" Twilight exclaimed in growing horror. "C'mon, girls, we gotta go save her! Put on your uniforms!"
"What?" Pinkie Pie said. "No "Power Pony Up?"
"Pinkie, there's no time for stupid catchphrases!"
Pinkie made an offended gasp. "Stupid? I'll have you know -"
"Come on!" Twilight grabbed Pinkie with her magic and dragged her to the changing room. "We have to hurry."
Pinkie Pie took in a deep, deep breath. "Power Pony Up! There, I said it. You're forgiven, Twilight." Though the way Pinkie Pie crossed her legs and looked away didn't lend much credence to Pinkie's claims of forgiveness.
Back the Sinful HQ, Shadowmane supervised as their minions attempted to industrialize the process of making Mane-iac's brainwashing shampoo. "Hey ..." Shadowmane took her eyes off the minions fumbling attempts to converse with her cohorts. "Has anypony noticed something going on with Mane-iac?"
"She has seemed rather … distracted lately." Phetlocke said.
"You know, I visited her house a few days ago." Long Face said. "I made sure I wasn't seen, of course, but I did notice this, like … weird typecast rainbow-mane pony leaving from it."
""Weird typecast rainbow-mane?" High Heel said. "Well, that's a big help. Do you even know what "typecast" means?"
"You know what?" Shadowmane was possessed by a crazy, yet somehow not crazy – at least not to herself – notion. "I bet this Rainbowmane pony probably has something to do with why Mane-iac's not been herself lately."
"You know what? I'll bet you're right." Phetlocke said. "We should go over there right now and have a little chat with our friend Mane-iac and especially her little friend. Who's with me?"
The Sinful Six-Minus-One reared up and whinnied, their hearts united. Their cause in sync. Their goal; to have a nice talk with this pony who's been occupying their dear Mane-iac's thoughts.
Rainbow Dash and Tresemme, having finished their naughty, definitely-not-safe-for-children activities, collapsed and hung over the side of the tub like dying fish, flopping and gasping for air as they breathed heavily.
"That was … amazing, Rainbow Dash." Tresemme said. She turned away and coughed. "Even if you were a brainwashed slave for most of it."
"Yeah." Dash said, not hearing Tresemme's addendum. "It was pretty great, wasn't it?" She turned to Tresemme and they both laughed, but the laughter, like their moods, deflated. They couldn't ignore the issue at hoof forever. Tresemme inviting Dash for shower sex was a welcome distraction, but it changed nothing about their situation.
"What are we gonna do, Tresemme?" Dash asked. "I love you … I know that. I want this – I want us to work out. But at the same time, I can't just ignore the teensy, tiny little detail you're secretly my nemesis with a hair fetish!"
Tresemme giggled and curled her locks with her hoof. "Heh heh heh, I do like hair."
Rainbow Dash made a stern expression which communicated "Really? I am not amused."
"Sorry." Tresemme said. She held up a bottle of the brainwashing shampoo. "You know, you could … defect. Stay with me. Fight for my side. Be part of the Sinful Seven instead of the Sinful Six, heh heh."
Dash shook her head. "No, no, I couldn't - wait." Dash's ear perked up and she motioned for Tresemme to be silent. "Do you hear that?"
"It sounds like ...marching hooves." Tresemme said. She and Dash exchanged worried glances. Flailing like slippery eels unable to find purchase on the dry, hard land, they scrambled out of the bathtub and headed for the window and saw what was probably their worst fears realized.
From the north end of the street, the Power Ponies came a-marching. Five abreast in a line, side-by-side and with a militaristic posture to their movements.
From the south end, the Sinful Six-Minus-One came marching into a single file one. Phetlocke led while Smudge was positioned in the back. Upon seeing their rivals in the street, Phetlock raised his scepter and motioned for them to separate. The other members of the Six spread out to the sides of him, rearing up for battle and locking eyes with their Power Pony opposites.
"What are you doing here?" Matter-horn asked.
"We should be asking you that." Phetlock shot back.
"We'll tell you what we're doing if you tell us what you're doing." High Heel offered. "Fair trade?"
Matter-horn looked to Saddle Rager, the one of them who could put the most claim to being High Heel's arch-nemesis. Saddle Rager shook her head.
"No deal." Matter-horn said. Her horn lit up, charging with fiery power with which she would rain molten destruction down on her enemies. The rest of the Power Ponies and the Sinful Six tensed up, ready to unleash their fury on their enemies.
Tresemme and Rainbow Dash looked to each other with strained expressions of horror, their eyes wide and their voices panicked. They said the exact same thing at the exact same time.
"They're coming to rescue me."
Author's Notes for "Divided Loyalties!"
Pop Culture References in This Chapter
Mare-Do-Well's black discus is a reference to Batman's famous Bata-rangs. At one point, I was even going to call it a Bata-rang, but I figured that would be taking it too far.
The shampoo, as discussed in the comments, is based off the brainwashing shampoo from this one episode Kim Possible. I was going to take the homage further, where the Mane-iac would even try to market her brainwashing shampoo with her face on the bottle, which would end up being "self-foiling," as no pony would buy it, and then Mane-iac would have the idea to swap out a legitimate shampoo companies' product for her own. But as the chapter began to take a more concrete form in my mind, there wasn't time to waste on that, so I skipped it. That would have been as far as the homage went, however, and the cast would not be roped into singing terrible rap songs.
Can you imagine my surprise and horror when, after the first chapter is published, the IDW comics makes a reference to the whole "brainwashing shampoo" idea? They didn't seem to make any explicit homage to Kim Possible thought, which makes my version inherently better.
It got glossed over in the finished chapter, but I wanted to make the phone reference the phone from the Powerpuff Girls that the girls used.
On a more meta level, Long Face referring to Rainbow Dash as "typecast" is a reference to the part of the fandom who sometimes sterotype her as a lesbian.
And despite the penchant for reference, the term for the original Power Ponies - the oh-so-creative (sarcasm) "Originals" is not a reference to the CW show of the same name airing at time of publishing.