Skipping Hand-Me-Downer(S1E10A) - Instead of taking Lynn's bike without her permission Lincoln simply asks Lana to modify his inherited bike to make it look like his own aka the color orange. The episode was so boring that Lincoln merely slits Lily's throat with a knife and watched her choke on her own blood before she finally died.
Sleuth or Consequences(the torture kind)
In Lincoln's room he's dressed up as his favorite superhero Ace Savvy. However, he's not dressed like he put on clothes that looks close enough to the actual costume that he'll even put on his red underwear on the outside or a blue towel for a cape but what he got Leni to make for him that looks exactly like what we see in Pulp Friction(S2E11A).
"I'm Ace Savvy, the world's savviest crime fighter. A man of few words, and fewer emotions. Except for today." Lincoln said in a serious tone while making a dramatic pose while holding an Ace of Spades card between his index and middle fingers.
"Because today is the day of the big Ace Savvy comic book convention! YEAH!" Lincoln exclaimed in excitement ever since he first heard about it.
"And now to call my trusty sidekick. One-Eyed Jack, this is Ace Savvy." Lincoln spoke through his walkie talkie.(I just realized the walkie talkies Clyde and I possess have pretty good range if we can hear each other clearly.)
"This is One-Eyed Jack. Just putting the finishing touches on my costume. And when it's ready, I'll be keeping one eye out for crime." Clyde replied as he pulls an eyepatch over his glasses and lets go, causing the impact to smack the lens of his glasses.
"OW!"(Maybe you should consider contact lenses or even laser eye surgery Clyde.)
"Roger that. I'll meet you at 4:00 when it's time to..." bursts out of his room. "...deal out some justice!" Lincoln pulls out a deck of cards and throws them like they're throwing weapons.(Doesn't the Joker use sharp edged playing cards as lethal weapons? Shouldn't superheroes use nonlethal tools to fight bad guys?)
The girls minus Lily who're all in the hallway for some reason look annoyed as they pick up all the cards on the floor.
"Lincoln, fifty-two pick up is not a fun game." Lynn stated while picking up some clover cards.
"You could have at least thrown only one card." Lori advised picking up a few heart cards.
"Yeah, Batman usually only throws one batarang at a time." Lucy said picking up a couple of spade cards.(There's no Batman equivalent in this universe. Then again, it's fucking Batman!)
"I wish Leni would make me extravagant princess outfits. There's no way Lindsey Sweetwater will ever beat me again." Lola said while grinding her teeth at the memory as she picks up all the diamond cards.
"While I myself find no interest in comic superheroes, I can appreciate that there are some that are geniuses who use advanced technology or some kind of research to fight crime. Ace Savvy is just a dime a dozen paragon with a playing card theme." Lisa stated as the girls gave Lincoln back his entire deck.
"Harsh, right? But you know what? It doesn't even bother me. With nine opinionated sisters, you've got to have a thick skin." Lincoln said to the audience/reader.(Why should I even consider the opinion of a fifteen month old baby?)
"Your insults are like the wind beneath my cape, they only lift me higher! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to use the mirror to check that everything's perfect." Lincoln said as he goes to the bathroom in order to use the mirror inside.
But as he opens the door, water from the toilet gushes out.
"Gross! Someone clogged the toilet again!" Lori cried in disgust as she and the girls stepped back so their shoes wouldn't get contaminated by toilet water.
"I'm telling Dad!" Lola declared going downstairs to inform the only person besides Lana who deals with the houses plumbing.
"You girls shouldn't use the toilet for more than it's intended use." Lincoln stated in an annoyed tone as he as to clean the soles of his shoes later on.
"True, we did make more clogs than a Dutch shoes factory!" Luan laughed at her own joke.
Flashback #1
Lori is scraping her gross dinner into the toilet.
"So long, liverwurst loaf!" She flushes the toilet only for it to back up.
"I'm telling Dad!" Lola declared since she was waiting for her turn but now she can't.
Flashback #2
Leni is holding an embarrassing and tacky sweater Rita made for her.
"Mom can't make me wear you if she can't find you." She flushes it down the toilet only for another clog to occur.
"I'm telling Dad!" Lola shouted while bursting in since she's already familiar with the sound of a toilet clogging.
Flashback #3
Luna is pouring a bunch of CD's down the toilet.
"Has anyone seen my CD's? I have to practice for karaoke night!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed somewhere else in the house.
As Lynn Sr. practices his singing, Luna flushes them down the toilet only for the obvious to happen. Then Lola bursts in.
"Luna! As much as I don't like listening to Dad's bad singing, I also don't like it when the toilet's clogged! I'm telling!" Lola yelled in irritation since she would have destroyed them with a baseball bat and throw them in the garbage.
"The toilet isn't a garbage disposal guys!" Lana exclaimed feeling sorry for her favorite toilet.
Lola brings Lynn Sr. up and is holding a plunger.
"Well, there goes my Saturday." Lynn Sr. sighs in exasperation since he wanted to watch a game on TV.
"Forget that pitiful plunger, Dad. This is a class five clog. You're going to need Big Bertha!" Lana said as she moves Lola aside and pulls out a battery powered toilet auger.
"Well Lincoln, looks like I have to hire you to find out who clogged the toilet this time." Lynn Sr. told his son since he knows Lincoln has his own private bathroom somewhere else in the house.(It's not in my parents closet like in Pipe Dreams(S3E6B). It's actually in a pocket dimension that's still connected to the house's plumbing.)
"But Dad, The convention's in a few hours and I have to get the new Ace Savvy comic signed!" Lincoln tried to argue since an investigation will take up too much time.
"Sorry son, you're the only one I can rely on. By the way, until someone fesses up, the rest of you girls are grounded! Including Lily!(She has flushed stuff down the toilet before.)" Lynn Sr. declared before going into the bathroom.
The girls complained since some of them wanted to go out for the day except Lana because...
"Big Bertha coming through!" Lana exclaimed as she entered the bathroom to do battle against the class five clog with her father's supervision.
"A standard investigation with facts and statistics will take too long so I'm going to have to do this...Ace Savvy style!" Lincoln declared doing his card pose.
In Lincoln's room he's taped crudely drawn pictures of all ten of his sisters on ten of his playing cards and places them on his desk.
"One of you is the perp... but which one?" Lincoln asked to himself as he looks suspiciously and them.
"Hey Linc, I might have a tip for you." Lucy said emerging from the shadows.
"Really?" Lincoln asked in surprise but... "Wait, why do you want to help?" he looked at her with suspicion.(She's not the culprit in this version.)
"I don't care about being grounded. My life is just an endless mental prison, anyway. But it's not fair that you have to miss your thing." Lucy answered since Lincoln is the only person outside her clique who treats her as a regular person and not just a creepy goth freak.
"Thank you. So, what have you got?" Lincoln asked his favorite sister with appreciation.
"Lynn has eaten spicy meatball subs for ten days straight. You know what that does to your digestive system?" Lucy asked rhetorically knowing her roommate's eating habits.
"That's disgusting, but also a lead! I like your instincts, kid. You want to team up?" Lincoln asked since there's no better partner than Lucy.(Clyde is my 'best friend' but he's very incompetent due to his ignorance in common sense and the unrealistic way he reacts towards Lori.)
"Sure. I've got nothing else to do. Besides bear the weight of the world on my shoulders." Lucy stated like she has a terrible burden.(Sorry Lucy, you're no Atlas.)
"Then let's begin!" Lincoln declared beginning the investigation.
In the kitchen, Lynn is indeed eating a meatball sub. Then suddenly, Lucy shines a flashlight in her face.
"Hey! What's with the light?" Lynn asked in confusion while squinting her eyes and blocking the light with one of her hands.
"Why don't you admit it, Lynn? You jammed the john!" Lincoln interrogated his sporty sister.
"I can't because I didn't do it Lincoln!" Lynn replied annoyed that her meal is being interrupted.
"Oh yeah? Then explain this!" Lincoln dumps discarded sub wrappers on the table.
"Nobody can eat this many subs and not wreak havoc on the plumbing!" Lincoln stated fully knowing what eating too much meat does to Lynn's digestive system.
"Nice try, genius, but my favorite roller derby is playing tonight and I never bomb the bowl before the big game. It's bad luck! If I go number 2, we won't be number 1!" Lynn shot back since everyone in the family knows how serious she is when it comes to her good luck rituals.(This right here is where her superstitious beliefs came to be. Also, the fact that she relies on luck so much indicates that she doesn't have a lot of faith in her own skills and that of her teammate's.)
"Gross." Lucy said with monotone disgust.
"If you want to know who plugged the porcelain, why don't you ask Lisa? She keeps a log of all our bathroom habits. Pun intended." Lynn advised channeling her inner Luan.
"Of course! Lisa's weird poop study! Let's go see this joker!" Lincoln declared while holding up the wild card.
"I prefer the Fool or the Jester arcana." Lucy muttered holding up her own tarot deck.(Lucy's hero name is The Priestess.)
In Lisa and Lily's room
"I need the file from last night from 1 to 4 AM." Lincoln ordered Lisa who's looking through her file cabinet inside her closet.
"1 to 4 AM...Hmm. It seems to be missing." Lisa stated in shock as the sensors of who uses the toilet should have been automatically recorded and reviewed later on.
"Missing? How convenient! Clearly, you did it! Case closed!" Lucy declared looking at Lisa like she's a criminal.
"Oh, please! I haven't used the family lavatory in years! It takes too much time away from my studies. I prefer to use Lily's training potty." Lisa retorted pointing at the small potty that the robot has to clean whenever Lisa uses it.(Kind of pointless since Lily will always be a baby and use diapers forever.)
"Well, it looks like your story's clean...but your training potty's not." Lincoln said in disgust as Kalashnikov comes in and takes the thing to be cleaned with a hose and disinfected.
"Lisa's clear but what about Lori?" Lucy asked going over their next suspect.
"It couldn't have been Lori because she uses that time to sleep so she can spend more hours talking to Bobby or her friends on the phone." Lincoln explained as Lori would never risk not being able to talk on her phone for a long period of time.
Meanwhile in the bathroom; Lana, Lynn Sr., and Big Bertha are searching for the bowl's barricade.
"Oh! Big Bertha's got something!" Lynn Sr. declared as he manages to grab something from the toilet.
"I want to see! Is it something really grody?" Lana asked in excitement.
Lynn Sr. hand the object to his daughter.
"Paper? It's got to be something bigger than that!" Lana dismisses the paper and throws it out the window.
"Move over, rookie! Some jobs require you to get your hands dirty!" Lana exclaimed taking Big Bertha and works the toilet herself.
The paper falls daintily as Clyde makes his way to the Loud House.
"One-Eyed Jack. One-Eyed Jack. Villains better watch their back." Clyde sings while riding his bike.
He gets his glasses struck by the paper Lana discarded.
"GAH! MY CRIME EYE!" Clyde screamed while panicking as he crashes into the van and gets catapulted into the tree in the front yard.
By the way, if Lana bothered to look at the piece of paper then she would have realized that it was the missing file from Lisa's cabinet that would have revealed who used the toilet the previous late night.
"Better put a pot of cocoa on. We've only got 2 more hours until the convention and 5 more suspects to go." Lincoln stated checking his watch as they go to their next suspect Luan who was in her and Luna's room.
"It wasn't me! I was asleep the whole time and I can prove it! I film myself sleeping in case I say something funny I can use in my act." Luan said as she played a video of herself sleeping last night.
"What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!" Luan sleep laughs(At least she wasn't having a wet dream.)
Since Luan is proven innocent Lincoln and Lucy move on to Leni who's currently in the kitchen.
"Ooh! You want to do an interview? Okay! My favorite color is zebra and the secret to a great smile is..." Lincoln and Lucy leave while Leni is still talking thinking that she's too dumb to pull such an act and goes to Lana next still working in the bathroom.
"Wish I could take the credit. I've been trying to dam up the dumper for years." Lana said while she inspects the toilet.(After all, there's no way she could clog it by giving Lily swirlies.)
Knowing that Lana would admit to doing so they write her off as well and moves onto Lola who's in her and Lana's room.
"I would never get up in the middle of the night. It disrupts my beauty sleep." Lola revealed as not even nature's call will make her give up her sleeping.(I guess she wears diapers before going to bed.)
They cross off Lola and move onto their final suspect, Luna who's sitting on the living room couch with her guitar.
"I was at a rock concert, dudes." Luna answered not bothered by the flashlight Lucy's been using on each of her sisters.
"Prove it." Lucy said as that's just the excuse Luna would make.
Luna turns on the TV to a news report of last night's concert where she is shown chasing Mick Swagger on stage.
"MICK! WAIT! I JUST WANT A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR!" Luna from the recording of last night's Mick Swagger concert chases after her idol like the crazed fan that she is.(I'm surprised Mick doesn't recognize her in House of Music(S1E17A).)
"Okay, that proves it." Lucy stated seeing the alibi.
"GAH! We're running out of time and we've got nothing!" Lincoln panicked as he still has no clue who did it.(Why am I so concerned? It's not like I would actually miss the convention.)
"WE'VE GOT SOMETHING!" Lana exclaimed finally finding the source of the clog.
Lincoln and Lucy rush up the stairs and into the bathroom.
"Here's the culprit." Lana said handing Lincoln the object.
"Aha! A break in the case!" Lincoln declared seeing that it's a book, but not just any book.
Princess Pony: The Touching True Story Of A Delightful Pony Who Changes The World With Her Horse Sense
"There's only one person who would read this: Lola!" Lucy exclaimed in her monotone voice.
"That lying scoundrel!" Lincoln angrily shouted holding the book while wearing rubber gloves like Lana.
"You should probably put that in a plastic bag." Lana advised though she herself doesn't have any problem swimming in toilet water.
Lincoln and Lucy revile in disgust as they followed Lana's suggestion before going to Lola to confront her about the book.
"We know you did it, Lola! We found your book in the toilet!" Lincoln accused as he shows her the book.
"Barf! That is not mine! I may be girly and pink, but I do have standards! I would never read those My Little Pony knock off books!" Lola defended since Friendship is Magic is even more fan obsessive than well...The Loud House.
"I think she's telling the truth." Lincoln said sounding convinced.
After all, there will always be unimaginative jackasses trying to bank on other people's creativity.
"I don't! She's sweating more than a vampire in the sun! Let me take a run at her!" Lucy doubtfully exclaimed as she kicks down Lola's tea party table getting warm tea on the pink girl's face and hair wet.
"We know you did it! ADMIT IT! CONFESS! If you don't tell the truth...YOUR HEART WILL NEVER BE SET FREE!" Lucy actually shouted as she continues being the bad cop.
"Whoa! Easy there, my Lucy!" Lincoln showing concern as he holds her back from manhandling Lola.(Her uncharacteristic outburst would clue the audience that she's the real culprit but in this version Lucy just wants to solve the mystery so I can make it to the convention because she loves me romantically.)
"You're cleaning that up." Lola simply stated unfazed by Lucy's outburst.
A few minutes later the doorbell rings as Lincoln answers the door revealing that Clyde shows up finally recovering from his accident.
"One-Eyed Jack?" Lincoln referred to Clyde in his character name wondering what took him so long.
"Sorry I'm late, Ace. I would have been here sooner, but I was thwarted by this dastardly piece of paper that flew from your bathroom window." Clyde stated showing Lincoln the piece of paper that came from the Loud family's toilet.
Lincoln looks at the paper and sees something familiar.
"This is a piece of paper from Lisa's missing toilet file!" Lincoln exclaimed in shock showing it to Lucy.
"And the person who used the toilet late at night to flush the Princess Pony book is..." Lucy reads the paper until she reaches the name.
"LILY!" Lincoln and Lucy shouted in shock at the same time.
"You solved the case, One-Eyed Jack! Thanks to you, the city can flush without fear!" Lincoln proudly congratulated his inept sidekick even though he knew that Clyde found that piece of evidence by complete accident.
Clyde does some victory poses as Lincoln and Lucy go to confront the true villain.
"Ace? Lincoln?" Clyde asked looking around finally noticing that Lincoln and Lucy are gone.
Lincoln kicks the door of Lisa and Lily's room open waking the baby up from her nap causing her to cry in distress.
"IT WAS YOU!" Lincoln yelled pointing accusingly at the baby who's too busy crying to notice that he's speaking to her.
"Lincoln, you didn't have to kick the door open. It wasn't locked." Lisa chastised wondering if the door is still intact.
"You're the Princess Pony lover!" Lincoln declared as Lucy picked Lily from the crib and slammed her down on the floor making her cry in pain now.
"Why did you flush the book down the toilet? And how were you able to take the file from last night and do the same without Lisa knowing?" Lucy interrogated while giving a back arm lock making Lily cry out even more.
"Damn! We can't get anything out of her because she can't talk!" Lincoln cursed as Lily has no idea what's going on and why her sister is hurting her.
"Convenient Statement: I might be able to answer you query as to why the useless bag of meat did what she did." Kalashnikov said as he finished charging his power source that's in the room.
"Explain." Lucy ordered curious about the robot's hypothesis.
"Explanation: It all started when Lola became a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. A show that surprisingly became popular to many people outside the little girl demographic." the robot started with Lincoln, Lucy, and Lisa understanding since pretty much everyone in America is aware of the cartoon.
And it's not just Lola who became a fan. Each of the Loud girls gravitated towards at least one main or recurring character. Lola with Princess Celestia since she's beloved by all her subjects. Lucy with Princess Luna because she's dark and misunderstood by most. Lisa with Twilight Sparkle due to her dedication to her studies. Lana with the Apple family since they're don't shy away from getting down and dirty when working hard. Lynn with Rainbow Dash liking the athletic Pegasus who always wants to be number one. Luan sees herself in the fun loving party pony Pinkie Pie who enjoys making others happy and loves pranks. Luna herself enjoys many if not all the songs considering that they're well made and well sung. Leni loves Rarity for her creativity with clothing and designing especially when she's generous. Finally Lori aspires to be like Fluttershy who despite being extremely shy at times does learn how to stand up for herself and be assertive to others without acting like a bitch.
"Continuing: With how surprisingly high quality the show is despite it's previous incarnations of course we wouldn't expose the waste of meat to something so entertaining." Kalashnikov finished explaining as he took over Lucy's actions of putting Lily in painful submission holds.
"I remember. That's why we gave Lily that horrible mock series Princess Pony. It's like giving kids The Amazing Panda Fighter and not the actual awesome Kung Fu Panda." Lincoln said remembering that he and the rest of his family prevented Lily from watching My Little Pony despite how much she cried and complained.(It was all good. It gave us an excuse to beat her up several times.)
"She must have resented the fact that we gave her that horrible Princess Pony book while the rest of us get to watch a good cartoon that people put effort into." Lucy stated since she would be pissed too if the only vampire media she was allowed to have was the Twilight series.
"But that doesn't excuse her for flushing the book down the toilet and getting it clogged inconveniencing the rest of us." Lincoln angrily stated since it's Lily's fault he may miss his comic book convention.
"Of course. Let's gather the family and tell them so you can finally make it to your convention." Lucy advised as she and Lincoln along with Lisa and Kalashnikov holding the filthy no good criminal following along.
Downstairs, Lori and Leni are texting each other, Lola's fixing her hair, Lana's arranging her tools, Lynn's doing push-ups, and Luan and Luna are fighting over the TV remote.
"Give it back!" Luan pulled the remote wanting to watch a comedy.
"It's mine!" Luna pulled back wanting to watch a rock concert.
"Excuse me...I have something to say..." Lucy said getting everyone's attention.
"This is what totaled the toilet." Lucy revealed the Princess Pony book covered in plastic.
"Princess Pony?!" Lori asked as she, Leni, Luna, Luan, and Lynn looked inquisitively before they started to laugh.
"Which one of you lame-o's does that belong to?" Lynn asked between laughs ready to mock and degrade the living shit out the owner of the book.
"Like I told Lincoln and Lucy before! Certainly not me! It's so sickeningly sweet I get a toothache just looking at it!" Lola exclaimed remembering not so fond memories of her mother's workplace.
"Can that really happen?" Leni asked terrified at the exaggeration wondering if the eyes and teeth affect each other.
"Whoever that belongs to is going to be the laughing stock of this house!" Luan stated getting her mental pun teasing repertoire ready.
"Yeah! They are literally worse than Clyde! And he acts like a robot before getting a nosebleed and fainting just by looking at me!" Lori made the example while chuckling.(Yeah, where is Clyde? He kind of disappeared from the actual episode after showing Canon Lincoln the paper.)
By now the eight girls are all laughing wondering who would ever like the Friendship is Magic knockoff.
"The book belongs to..." Lucy said as a drumroll started from a show in the TV.
"Lily!" Lincoln and Lucy declared as the robot held the baby who's struggling to free herself from his grasp.
"Lily?!" the girls other than Lucy and Lisa shouted in shock that the book belongs to the stupid baby.
"I'm not surprised none of you remembers. After all, Mom and Dad bought it for Lily so she would stop bitching and moaning because we wouldn't allow her to watch Friendship is Magic." Lincoln reminded as he remembered the disappointed look on Lily's face when she received the book.(The book is mostly text with very few pictures which is worthless to a baby who can't read.)
"So Lily flushed the book down the toilet because she didn't like it." Lana stated remembering other times where the baby flushed stuff down the toilet for fun.
"And since she wears diapers it wouldn't bother her that it would get clogged!" Lola seethed ready to punish the tot with her signature style of revenge.(Lots of clawing with manicured finger nails.)
"Now, now Lola. We're doing this the Ace Savvy way. Meaning we're doing this the just way by giving the criminal to the authorities." Lincoln said while holding his deck of cards.
"Oh, alright." Lola resigned to doing it Lincoln's heroic way.
"DAD! IT WAS LILY WHO CLOGGED THE TOILET!" Lola yelled loud enough to be heard throughout the house.
"THAT MEANS LILY'S GROUNDED FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH WHILE THE REST OF YOU ARE UNGROUNDED! I'LL HAVE YOUR PAYMENT READY AFTER YOU COME BACK LINCOLN!" Lynn Sr. shouted from wherever he is.
Lincoln and his nine sisters cheered to celebrate their freedom while Kalashnikov goes to follow his baby grounding protocols which consists of locking Lily in her cage in the basement, only letting her out to change her diaper or suffer her daily punishments, and be fed awful tasting gruel worse than mashed lima beans.
"Looks like a Royal Flush by Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack with the help of the Priestess." Lincoln and Clyde(Who has reappeared now.) pose dramatically holding up their Ace of Spades and Jack of Hearts respectively with Lucy holding up her own Arcana Two: The High Priestess card.
"I couldn't have done it without you Lucy." Lincoln said as he hugs her and gives a tender loving kiss on her lips.
"I'd do anything for you my love." Lucy affectionately said while blushing.(Since we're all fictional characters like in a live action show. None of us are actually blood related. Yes, that's my excuse.)
"Come on Ace, we can still make it with enough time to get the newest issue of Ace Savvy signed by Bill Buck." Clyde checked his watch glad that his dads will drive them to the convention.
"Right behind you One-Eyed Jack. See you girls later!" Lincoln exclaimed as he and Clyde left.
Epilogue
It's later that night with Lincoln lying on his bed reading the newest issue having come home after having a great time at the Ace Savvy convention. Lucy's also there lying next to him while she reads her vampire book(Obviously not Twilight).
"Was the evening everything you hoped for Lincoln?" Lucy asked as she cuddles up to him.
"You bet Lucy. Though there was something I wasn't able to do before but now that I'm not roleplaying as Ace Savvy anymore I was able to do it when I got home." Lincoln replied kissing Lucy on her forehead.
"What was it?" Lucy asked curiously.
"You'll see." Lincoln simply answered waiting for the discovery to happen.
Sometime later Lynn finished doing her business on the toilet after her team won on TV and flushed but the water started backing up unable to go down.
"What the hell!" Lynn shouted in shock as the toilet seems to be clogged again.
Lana comes and takes notice of this.
"DAD! WE'RE GOING TO NEED BIG BERTHA AGAIN!" Lana shouted to her dad as they needed to get whatever's been flushed down.
Eventually Lynn Sr. and Lana were able to pull out what's been down there to reveal the cut up body parts of Lily.
"Oh my gosh, they murdered Lily!" Lana exclaimed in shock seeing the separated arms, feet, torso, and head.
"Those assholes!" Lola yelled angrily though inside she's happy Lily got punished in the most appropriate way.
(Spoilers! I was the one who clogged the toilet with the Princess Pony book. I was also the one who took Lisa's bathroom file and changed my name to Lily's which explains that little tidbit. I merely needed an excuse to cut Lily into piece so I can flush her down the toilet and be completely justified in doing so.)
By following the U.S. airdate order the next chapter will be Changing the Baby(S1E8B). Since no one gives a fuck about Lily, the story will be altered a bit so it can make sense. I'm sure that it's the one some of you are waiting for so I hope I don't disappoint.
Lily's death: Her arms and legs were cut off first maximizing her pain and suffering before getting decapitated so her body parts can be flushed down the toilet easier.