A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! :)

Remember Me- Chapter Fifteen

His hands shook, weeks had gone by since he had spoken to Aubrey and seen Elena. Aubrey had confessed to him over the phone that she'd been lying to him and she said that they really needed to talk about things when he was back in town. However, all Stefan had been thinking about after Aubrey's confession was divorce papers. As for Elena, Stefan and her had a few run ins at the penthouse. Although, for the most part, she had been catching up with Jenna and Ric. Therefore, Stefan needed to start his treatments alone and so, he did. He had tried to keep things civil with Aubrey and with Elena, he was still trying to figure things out. Mostly his feelings for her. Maybe it was the fact that death was knocking on his doorstep, maybe that was why he wanted her closer. Yet, he knew deep down that his illness wasn't the only reason. Throughout everything, Elena had always been his hope and he hated that she wasn't there with him at the moment in the unfamiliar hospital. But, he was the one who told her to stay away for a little while.

"You need to sit still. The side effects won't be the greatest." The young nurse gave him a weary look as she spoke in a soft tone and Stefan nodded his head, attempting to smile. "As long as it keeps me alive for a while longer." He replied, pointing to a pen and a piece of paper. He watched her turn towards it, giving him a confused look. "Don't worry, I'm not writing my will on some random piece of paper. I've already done that. Decided to give nearly all of my inheritance from my very wealthy father to my son and my ex-fiancé. Not, my current lying wife. Believe me, it's a really messed up story."

She laughed a little, nodding her head and exhaling deeply as she told Stefan to close his eyes while she administered the I.V.s that were necessary for his chemotherapy sessions. "How many of these will I need?" Stefan asked, his voice sounding a bit fearful of having the upcoming side effects that he wasn't really ready for.

"That's what the doctor is going to discuss with you after we're done with the first few rounds. Now, is there anyone that will be able to drive you home afterwards?" She asked him, giving Stefan a curious look. He shook his head, no. "Do I really have to call someone to drive me home?" The nurse nodded and gave him a stern glance. "Yes. The side effects can cause dizziness and nausea. It's not recommended to drive home by yourself, at least at the moment."

"I'll just call a cab." He replied, taking in the fact that in a few hours, he was probably going to regret that he had sent Elena to visit with Jenna and that in fact, he needed her more at the moment.

Exhaling deeply, Stefan closed his eyes and leaned back into the hospital bed he was laying in. The chairs had all been taken up in the oncology department where his chemotherapy was to take place. So, the doctor decided to administer the first round of drugs in his own private room. "On second thought," His voice hitched as he handed the nurse a phone number and leaned over towards her. "Can you call this number and ask the person to meet me here?" He asked, watching the nurse nod as she told Stefan that she'd be right back and that he needed to relax.

"Before you say anything. I'm sorry I called you." He told her, allowing his aching body to relax a bit as she drove them back to the penthouse. He hadn't really felt anything yet, two hours after the first round. However, he knew that over time his body would react in various ways to the drugs and he was terrified of being alone during it all.

"It's fine. Things were getting a little awkward with them anyways. I think I'd overstayed my welcome." Elena shrugged, not wanting to bring up what she had learned just days earlier about Stefan's will and the fact that he was building a house for her and Ben to reside in, on the same property that her aunt now lived on.

"What do you think about this area?" Stefan suddenly asked, attempting to distract himself from the bout of nauseous that he was feeling. Elena watched as he closed his eyes and leaned his head upon the cold feeling glass passenger side window.

"I think it's beautiful." She replied simply, biting her cheek as she drove and kept her eyes on the road.

Elena could hear Stefan fidgeting in his seat as he groaned out in pain. "Elena, you might need to pull the car over." He requested, feeling sick to his stomach. He felt the car jerk to the side of the road and he heard her gasp when the car door flung open and he stumbled outside, vomiting profusely.

After a few minutes, Stefan returned, wiping his hand with a napkin that she had handed him. "Sorry, I couldn't hold it any longer." Closing the car door, she could feel her stomach tighten as she grabbed a hold of his hand and with tears in her eyes, she spoke softly. It was the about the worst time to mention it. But, she needed to know. "Why didn't you tell me that you want me to raise Ben after you're gone? Stefan, why didn't you tell me about the house that you're building?"

His face went pale, his once green vibrant eyes looked as if they had, had the life sucked out of them as he licked his bottom lip and inhaled deeply. There it was, his secret plans- exposed and out in the open.

Stefan opened his mouth to speak. But, no words came out. All that was uttered was a deep sigh. He felt Elena release his hand as she glanced over at him with saddened eyes and explained. "Jenna and Ric told me about the plans today. They showed me the blueprints of this beautiful house and they talked about your Will and-." Anger in his tone, cut her words off as he slammed his fist against the arm rest of the car, which forced Elena to pull over once again into a partially empty parking lot in front of a closed retail store.

"You weren't supposed to know about any of that!" He screamed, furious at himself for even telling her. Even more anger at his own body that was giving up on him. He hated this, just when he had felt that he had gotten her back. This…The disease was going to take him away from everything.

"But, I do!" She yelled back, closing her eyes and trying to keep calm. They didn't have to be yelling at each other. She shouldn't have brought it up at all. Elena cursed herself for mentioning it at the moment. Yet, she needed to know. Why he had kept it a secret and why he didn't want his wife raising their son after he was gone. Why did he want her to do it after everything she had done to him?

"I'm sorry for yelling, okay? I just," She paused, swallowing down her fears as she grabbed a hold of his hand again and gently stroked her thumb across his skin. "I just don't know what makes you think that I'd be any good of a mother to him after you're gone? Stefan, I can't do this without you!"

She watched him shake his head, leaning towards her. Stefan left a gentle kiss upon her cheek as he locked his tired eyes on to hers and stated in a soft tone. "Because, sweetheart. After I'm gone. I couldn't imagine Ben with anyone else. The past is the past, Elena. What we did to each other wasn't fair. But, we can move forward now and be better to one another." He told her as she placed her hands onto both sides of his cool feeling face and stroked her thumbs against his cheeks.

"What about Aubrey?" He heard her ask.

Kissing her lips, Stefan caressed her cheek as he lovingly stared into her eyes and said in a confident tone. "In a few days, Aubrey and I will be on our way to being done forever. I'm getting a divorce. Besides, things with her are complicated. I'll always have a place for her in my heart. But, she isn't what I need or want. Elena, you are. You always have been and I promise you. Our family is going to be just what it should have been all those years ago. You, me and our son. That's all I want and need. All we're missing right now is Ben."

"Stefan." She whispered, kissing him before backing away and grabbing a hold of his hand for a moment. She glanced down at it as she spoke softly. "You know, I was thinking. Maybe in a few weeks, after you're feeling a little better. Maybe we can have Ben here for a visit? I know that Jenna and Ric said that they'd love to see him." Elena suggested. Stefan nodded his head, feeling tired and achy once again as he agreed softly. "I'm sure Ben would love that. I know I would. I miss him a lot already."

"You know, Christmas is in about two weeks. Maybe we could have Damon or Katherine bring Ben here to celebrate with us?" Stefan suggested, watching as Elena's face fell. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually celebrated Christmas with anyone. After she had left, Elena barely even acknowledged the holiday. Without her family or close friends, things had been hard. Klaus and Caroline had attempted to make things a bit easier by throwing a little part each year at their London apartment. Yet, things never really felt that festive.

"We don't even have a tree or ornaments." She remarked as Stefan laughed a little. Nothing had ever stopped him before and barely having any time to decorate wasn't going to stop him from having his son beside him during the holidays. "Don't worry about it. I'll put you in charge of that and I'll make arraignments for Ben to come visit us." He replied, hoping that he could pull it all off. The last thing Stefan wanted was to feel miserable during the holidays and deep down he knew that having Ben there would make things even better.

"But," Elena paused, feeling his hand on top of hers as he tightened his fingers around hers and inhaled deeply. "It doesn't matter. I'll feel better when we're all together. It can be our first official Christmas as a family."

"I didn't even buy you or Ben a gift." Elena remarked, staring out at the road ahead of them. Stefan shrugged his shoulders back, taking her hand into his as he kissed her knuckles before he stated in a sincere tone. "You and him are all I will ever need. You're my gift."

"Oh, there's my big boy!" Stefan shouted out, smiling from ear to ear when Elena opened the door and Katherine took a step inside a day before Christmas eve. They watched her, releasing Ben's hand and telling him to go see his dad.

"Daddy!" He screamed, running past Elena and right into his father's arms.

"I've missed you, buddy!" Stefan exclaimed, kissing Ben and tickling him instantly. Katherine nudged for Elena to step outside of the penthouse for a minute so that they could talk in private, allowing the boys some privacy as well.

Katherine crossed her arms over her chest, staring down at her shoes as she cleared her throat. "Is he going to be okay here. With the two of you?" She asked, sounding like that overprotective mother that she was. Katherine had always been overly protective of Ben, as if he was one of her own.

Elena nodded. "Why wouldn't he be? He's our son, Katherine." She heard her comment. The curly haired brunette pointed back towards the door as she tapped her foot against the carpet in the walkway. She wasn't really sure what was going on between them. However, their relationship in front of Ben was one of her biggest concerns. "Not that. I know that. What I meant is you and Stefan. What's going on with the two of you?"

Elena swallowed down the lump in her throat. She wasn't really sure herself of what was going on between them. "Are you two just fucking each other again or is it a little more serious than that?" Katherine snapped, tilting her head to the side with a curious expression upon her face. She wanted to know, like always. Katherine wanted to know everything.

Elena scratched the top of her head, covering her hands over her face. "I don't know."

"What?" Katherine spat out, sounding a little surprised by Elena's confusion. Surely, with Stefan's dire prognosis, Katherine was pretty sure that they knew on what terms their relationship was on.

Elena shrugged, exhaling deeply. "It's complicated, Katherine. Like always with Stefan. You know that, things have always been very complicated between us. But, right now, our relationship status doesn't matter. What matters is an ill father spending time with his young son and making memories that he'll be able to remember Stefan by." Elena explained as Katherine nodded her head in agreement. She was right, according to the doctors and his test results. If a miracle wasn't to happen, Stefan only had a few more years with Ben. Which meant that they'd have to make as many memories as they could together.

Changing the subject briskly, Katherine smiled. "So, I'll fly back out here and pick him up after Christmas. That way, you and Stefan can spend New Year's alone together and maybe even figure out that complicated relationship status of yours." She winked, pulling Elena into a hug as she whispered softly. "Merry Christmas, Elena. Regardless of what I've said to you in the past. I'm glad your back with them. Stefan really needs this. He really needed you and Ben. So, thank you for taking care of him."

"She didn't want to come inside and hang out with us?" Stefan asked, coughing a little as he opened the door to the penthouse and watched Katherine walk down the hall, disappearing out of view. Elena's eyes widened. She was silently praying that he hadn't heard any of their conversation. However, Elena had a pit in her stomach from the look in his eyes. Then it happened, Stefan pulled her aside, making sure that Ben wasn't in ear shot.

"This." He said, pointing between them to make sure she understood before he continued. "You and I aren't just sleeping together again, Elena. I'm not that guy anymore and you know that. So, next time, my sometimes-nosy sister in law asks. You make fucking sure to tell her that. This isn't just a fling for me. And, it shouldn't be just one for you either. I love you, Elena. And, frankly, I think this right now is us trying to rebuild everything that we've lost between each other and the relationship we both have with that little boy we created together. So, how about we go in that living room, hand in hand. Together as a couple and spend time quality time with our son?"

Stefan took a step back, extending out his hand towards her as she gave him a sweet shy smile. "Okay." She replied, taking a hold of his hand into hers and feeling him tighten his grasp around her fingers.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked, placing his chin on her shoulder before kissing her cheek as he whispered out his words softly. Elena carefully watched Ben in the middle of the living room, playing with a pack of race cars that Katherine had bought him as an early Christmas gift.

"Yea, I am." She replied confidently. Walking over slowly to Ben as Stefan watched her take a seat beside their son and smile lovingly at the little boy. "Hi Ben. Do you remember me?" She asked, glancing up at Stefan who was nodding with a bit of encouragement.

"Yeah, you're my real momma. Elena." He smiled, shyly getting up from his little play area and running over to Stefan's arms, curling up against his father.

"Are you being shy?" Stefan asked with a playful smile, tickling his son until he turned around towards Elena and cautiously looked at her. Ben nodded. "Yea." He replied, turning back towards Stefan who had now scooped him into his arms and brought him over to the kitchen. The wave of nauseous had returned and just from the look on his face, Elena could tell that something was wrong. She quickly got up from her spot on the carpet and walked over to them.

"You know what, Ben. How about you and I start dinner and your daddy can go lay down for a bit?" She suggested, rubbing Stefan's back gently as he gave her a knowing look and quietly agreed, mouthing a weak "Thank you" in her direction.

"I've got it from here. I'll come check up on you after we're done in the kitchen." Elena told him, watching as Stefan staggered into their now shared bedroom. Closing her eyes, she exhaled deeply. She was silently praying for a miracle. Because deep down in her heart she knew, they all needed one.

"Stefan?" Elena called out his name in a quiet tone, glancing back out at the living room when she noticed that Ben had fallen asleep to the movie that they had been watching together. He had been in there for over an hour and Elena didn't think much of it. Until now when he didn't sound like he was responding.

"Stefan!" Elena knocked on the door a little harder, thinking the worst. "Please, open the door." She begged, hearing a faint groaning coming out from behind it.

The pale and fragile look in his green gaze made her heart sink. Stefan held himself up against the door frame. "What can I do?" Elena asked quickly, placing her arm around him as he leaned his head against her shoulder. "Tell me what I can do." He heard her say as she guided him to their bed. Stefan felt his body relax the minute his aching muscles hit the mattress.

"Can you bring Ben in here?" He asked her, watching as she nodded, tears welling up into her eyes.

"Sure." Elena commented, slowly stepping out of the room and walking back to the couch. Elena gently bent down and wrapped her arms around the little boy, feeling his head rest against her shoulder as she walked back into the bedroom with him. Ben stirred in her arms for a minute before she placed him in between her and Stefan. Elena felt an overwhelming sadness overcome her as watched Stefan kiss the top of Ben's head. "Come here." He softly said to Elena, extending out his hand towards her as he pulled Ben against himself and Elena laid down beside their son, placing her arms around Stefan and Ben.

"My boys." She smiled weakly, feeling Stefan take her hand into his palm, bringing her knuckles towards his lips as he kissed each one. Locking his eyes onto her, he murmured out in a voice just above a whisper. "This is exactly what I wanted. Just the three of us, like this." Stefan said, his eyes welling up with tears as Elena grabbed a hold of his hand and intertwined their fingers. "Me too." She replied, placing her hand onto the pillow beneath her head as she felt Stefan covering them up with a blanket.

"Thank you," Elena paused, her voice cracking as her eyes resting upon Stefan's tired face while she uttered out. "For forgiving me and giving me a second chance to be here."

He watched from the door as she tucked Ben into the large queen size bed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Your dad and I will be just in the next room if you need anything." Elena reminded him, watching her son nod as she pated Stefan on the shoulder and left the two of them alone to say goodnight to one another.

"Daddy?" Ben questioned, rubbing his eyes and yawning a little as Stefan took a seat on the edge of the bed and exhaled deeply, waiting for his son to ask whatever it was that was on his mind.

"Is mommy Elena going to stay this time, forever?" The innocence of his son's question made Stefan choke up a bit. If he only knew. But, thankfully, Ben was only aware of a few things and it was better this way, Stefan thought. For now at least.

Fighting back tears, Stefan leaned over his son, kissing his forehead as he said. "Yeah, Ben. She will stay forever this time, I promise. Now, baby boy. Get some rest. I love you." Elena heard him slowly walking into the living room, seeing his face covered in tears while he took a seat beside her. He'd been thankful the door to his son's bedroom was closed because in the moment. Stefan's heart was aching and he couldn't take it anymore. She wrapped her arms around him, hearing his sobs shatter her heart in a million little pieces while he said in a strained voice. "I need you to take care of our son. I need you to promise me that you won't leave him again. Elena, after I'm gone. You'll be all he's got…." Stefan's voice trailed off as she pulled him again her, running her fingers through his hair. Elena whispered softly into his ear, vowing to keep her promise to both of them. "I love him, Stefan. And, I promise you. I promise that I'm never leaving again. I'm going to try the best I can to be better than I was before. I promise, I'm going to be a better mother and a better partner to you."

"Partner?" Stefan questioned, wiping away his tears as Elena shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't really sure what she was considered in his eyes anymore. But from the sound of it, she was something.

"Yeah." Elena sniffled, giving him a warm smile. Stefan stayed silent, simply agreeing with her. "Okay." He stated, resting his head back against her, listening to her heart beat.

She laid beside him for a few hours, not wanting to move until she heard a small whimpering cry coming from the bedroom that Ben was in, a little after 3am. Elena woke up, slowly pulling herself out of bed and opening the door to the guest bedroom to check up on him. She lingered for a bit, watching him sleep and just when she was about to leave the room. Elena noticed something unfamiliar within his toys. A small tin box, labeled with a black marker. "Letters To Ben"

Opening it slowly, she removed the only piece of paper inside as she took it into the living room and sat on a bar stool in the kitchen. Her hands were shaking as she opened up the piece of paper and noticed Stefan's hand writing. A sticky note slipped inside that read.

"Elena,

Please read these, a day at a time or over the years. They're letters to our son. Most of them are for when he's a bit older. However, some of them can be read soon. Don't open them yet though. I'd rather you read them to him if you're both having a shitty day and need a little pick me up. Maybe I'll leave a few around the new house for you as well to find in places that you least except and as a reminder that I'll still always be around. Baby, I know that this is hard for you. Believe me, it's all a lot harder for me to accept. But, I want you to know that in these past few years, you've made my life better and I'm thankful for that. Thank you for loving me and giving me the best gift on this planet, Ben.

I love you so much. Please, don't you ever forget that."

Love always,

Stefan.

With shaking hands, Elena slowly opened the letter and read it. Tears streaming down her face as her eyes scanned each word and she realized something. These letters, his words. Stefan was preparing himself to say something that none of them wanted to say yet. He was preparing himself to say…Goodbye.

Dear Ben,

I don't know how to really start this or where to begin. How do I tell my young son that his father is dying of cancer? That I could have between 1-2 more years left with you and your mother….My beautiful boy. I'm going to try the best that I can to write as many of these as I can. I'm going to write to you, because I want you to know a few things before I leave you and Elena.

There are a lot of things that I'm not going to be a part of son. Like, your 16th birthday. Your first driving lesson and your first crush and kiss. I won't be there to tell you how proud of you I am when you walk across that stage to receive your high school and college diplomas. I won't be the beaming father of the groom at your wedding or the dotting grandfather your children will get to see. But, the thing is Ben. I don't want these letters to focus on all the things that I'm going to be missing out on in your life. I want them to focus instead on all of the life lessons, I want to teach you before this illness makes me unable to do it.

There are a few things you should know in life, son. And, being honest is one of them. If there was one thing that I didn't learn until later on in life, it was that. Believe me, telling the truth about a lot of things is better than lying. You sleep better at night. Just ask your uncle Damon. He can tell you all about the times I lied. Mostly to him, my exe wives and your own mother. Yeah, your dad was a bit of an asshole. But, that was before you. That was before her. It was before the two of you changed me into a better man. Long before I wanted to be a better man. Because, that's what you two have done for me. You've made me a better human being and I'm thankful for it. Because let's be honest, Stefan Salvatore was a really big douche bag before either of you came into my life. Just ask your aunt Katherine too. I'm sure she's got plenty of stories.

Forgiving is another. Please don't hold grudges against people or your family. The worst thing in life is walking around bitter. Trust me on this one, I did it to your mother for a very long time. Allow her to explain once the time is right. But, whatever she says. Know that whatever happened between us, I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved her. It's not just because she's your mom. There is a lot more to it. Even though she's flawed (no one is EVER perfect- by the way). Your mother is an amazing person at her very core. Be kind and forgiving. Please, Ben. Don't be arrogant and a know it all. Take it from someone who knows, it won't get you far in life. Learn things and allow others to teach you things. It's good to educate yourself about the things you don't know.

Well son, there are going to hopefully be a lot more of these coming. So, keep an eye open for them.

I love you, Benjamin. I love you so much and I am going to miss you. It breaks my heart knowing how much I'm going to miss you. But, I promise that I'll always be there for you- even if you don't see me. I'll always be beside you, being your biggest fan and cheering you on throughout life.

Love always,

Dad.

A/N: Klaroline, Datherine and more Stelena coming soon. Thanks for reading! :)