Before the chapter begins, here's an alternate version to another fanfic in this site.
Home-A-Loud by spotty-bee: Lucy wakes up one in the morning because she hears Lily crying. There's no one else in the house because they're away for some event or out when they're suppose to be in the house to take care of the younger members of the family. Lucy picks up the wailing baby who's cranky because she's hungry for warm milk and proceeds down into the kitchen. Lucy fills a pot with water and places it on top of a stove top before lighting it even though she shouldn't do so without adult supervision. While waiting Lucy ignores the fussy baby banging her little fists on the table of her high chair while still crying her eyes out. After a few minutes Lucy notices the water in the pot has come to a boil and puts on oven mitts so she can carefully hold the pot without burning her hands. Lily wondering why her only black haired sister isn't giving her warm milk looks to see Lucy holding the pot filled with boiling water in front of her. Before Lily can continue fussing Lucy splashes the contents of the pot all over the diaper only wearing baby.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Lily screams in horrible pain as the scalding hot water severely burns her skin. Her thrashing causes her high chair to fall over hitting her head on the floor as she continues screaming while Lucy merely watches. Lucy grabs Lily by her feet and drags her to the basement door before opening it and unceremoniously tosses her down the stairs injuring the baby even more. With that done Lucy goes back to her room so she can continue sleeping.
Changing the Baby
In Lynn and Lucy's room, the sports oriented sister is throwing her basketball towards the hoop mounted on the wall while resting her head on the pillow of her bed.
"Hey, Lynn, do you want to read the latest Ace Savvy comic with me?" Lincoln asks walking in holding a comic book while not in only his underwear.(Again, why doesn't Canon Lincoln just wear casual clothes in the house?)
"A. I don't like reading to pass the time. B. I prefer the movie versions. And C. ya later." Lynn replied while scoring another two pointer.
Later in the living room, Lincoln is about to watch a movie by putting it in the DVD player as Luan walks by while holding her puppet Mr. Coconuts.
"Hey, Luan, do you want to watch a science-fiction movie with me?" Lincoln asks as Luan notices what movie he's chosen.
"2001: A Space Odyssey? There's no comedy in that one." Luan stated looking disinterested.
"I prefer a classic comedy like Space Balls. Parodies nowadays aren't funny at all." Mr. Coconuts aka Luan speaking through him believes that art has lost it's luster.
"I agree with Mr. Coconuts." Luan said as she walks away laughing.
Later in Lana and Lola's room, Lola is having another tea party with her stuffed toys and dolls as Lincoln comes in holding a coin case.
"Hey, Lola, do you want to check out my coin collection? I just got this one from Poland. It's called a Zloty." Lincoln asks as he opens the case to show her the specific coin.
"Not interest Lincoln. What's the point of money that you can't spend it?" Lola dismissed as that's the whole reason why currency exists in the first place.
Later in Lynn and Lucy's room again, Lucy is writing a poem while lying belly down on her bed as Lincoln comes in with the vacuum cleaner.
"Hey, Lucy, do you want to go ghost hunting with me?" Lincoln asks as though he's Luigi.(Yeah I know. Vacuums are not proton packs.)
"Why would I want to hunt my friends?" Lucy questions as not all ghosts are malevolent.
Later in the kitchen, Lana is looking for something to eat in the fridge.
"Hey, Lana, do you want to try half of my peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich?" Lincoln asks while holding the unique sandwich combination.(Since no one else likes sauerkraut I don't have to worry about someone else eating my sandwich.)
"Sorry Lincoln. I eat some pretty grody things but that just gives me bad runs." Lana replied as she retches from the smell before rushing to the bathroom.
Later Lincoln is playing Super Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighter XXIV while sitting on the floor in front of the couch and notices Leni walking by.
"Hey, Leni, you want to play video games?" Lincoln asks while battling AI opponents.
"Sorry Linky. unless it's a game with tons of customization options I'm not interested. Besides, I have fashion magazines to look at." Leni replied before walking away.
"You'd think that with all these sisters, there'd be just one that likes the same things I like. But sadly, that's not the case." Lincoln stated to the reader/audience.
As he says this a lavender pacifier rolls on the couch with Lily crawling towards it to place in her mouth while dragging her lavender blanket.
"But that's okay as introducing to you all right now is the newest member of the Loud family..." Lincoln exclaimed with excitement before he shows what's just off screen.
"Leopold Loud! Or Leo for short!" Lincoln reveals a baby that's even smaller than Lily.
"Goo!" Leo coos happily even though he doesn't understand what's going on.
Leopold Loud is a one month old baby that Rita gave birth to not too long ago story wise. He has a single strand of brown hair on his head(Which he inherited from his father and is the same shade as Luna's). He has three freckles on each of his cheeks like Lincoln, Luna, and Lynn. Since Leo's only a month old he has no teeth. He wears lime green footy pajamas over his diaper(that Leni made for him), which he loves a lot.(I have a feeling that introducing a second brother/son will be something that will most likely happen in the future of the show. I hope they do better than Fairly Odd Parents with Poof, Sparky, and then Chloe.)
"Now that I have a younger brother I don't have to feel isolated in my own house anymore." Lincoln stated as he smacks Lily onto the floor and throws her pacifier and blanket into the fire place that has an active fire for some reason burning the objects to ash.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!" Lily cries very upset that her only pacifier and favorite blanket are gone forever.
"Oh shut up you freak!" Lincoln admonishes Lily before putting Leo on the couch and placing another controller in front of him.
"Hehehe!" Leo giggles happily as he mashes the colorful buttons and moves the joysticks causing Lincoln to get an idea.
"That's it! You don't have your own things yet! You're like an unformed lump of clay! But if I can mold you, then someone in this house will finally like the things I like!" Lincoln declared as Clyde bursts through the front door without even knocking or ringing the doorbell.(The obvious solution in the actual episode would be to just hang out with Clyde but I get the feeling Canon Lincoln just wanted to spend time with his siblings with the things he likes.)
"Hey, Lincoln! What has two thumbs and totally wants to hang out with his best friend?" Clyde asked rhetorically before answering his own question.
"This guy!" Clyde exclaims while using his thumbs to point at himself.
Leo who only knows his parents and siblings cries in fright at seeing a stranger.
"Sorry, Clyde. I'm in the middle of something important and Leo isn't good with strangers so you'll have to come back another time." Lincoln said as he shoves Clyde out the door.
"'Something important'? But what's more important than hanging out with this guy?" Clyde asks looking sad while once again using his thumbs to point at himself before they deflate.
As Lincoln picks up Leo and heads up to his room Lily looks at her only younger sibling with disdain. Since Lily dies at least once a week her memories are missing huge gaps from what she remembers the last time they were uploaded. To remedy this Lisa installed a new implant to any future Lily that would wirelessly record all her experiences so the genius would not have to manually do so everyday. This means that the current Lily and any future clone will remember everything that isn't naturally forgotten in time up until their deaths instant or not.
"Weo." Lily muttered looking very angry because in her baby mind she rationalized that the reason her family doesn't love her anymore and treat her horribly is because of the new baby.(Sure, that's the reason.)
In Lincoln's room, he's showing Leo all of his material possessions that a normal eleven year old boy would find interesting.(I'm mostly interested in anime and manga but to the network that's a big no no. I.E.: those aren't rice balls. They're donuts.)
"Here are all the things that make life worth living." Lincoln stated making sure Leo sees everything in the room.
"Uh uh." Leo reaches for his lime green pacifier that rolled off his mouth when he opened it too wide and rolled a few inches forward on Lincoln's bed.
"No, no, no. You don't like this. You like this." Lincoln takes away the pacifier and turns on a movie from his laptop.
"Starship Groupers! My favorite underwater intergalactic adventure." Lincoln shows the movie making Leo giggle at seeing the fishy which is actually an alien dolphin.(Who's bright idea was it to combine space travel and underwater exploration?)
"Pew-pew-pew! Check this out. It's a 500-piece replica of the starship built by yours truly." Lincoln proudly show off the model to his only brother.
"Uh uh." Leo grunts holding his tiny arms out towards the toy.
"Oh, you like it? Here you go!" Lincoln gives Leo the starship that's used for underwater adventures.
"Pew-pew! Pew-pew!" Leo mimics the sounds Lincoln was making while holding the thing in his tiny hands.
"That's right! Pew-pew-pew!" Lincoln encourages but gets nervous when Leo starts shaking it.
"Uh, Leo? You've got to be, you know, try to be..." Leo tosses the model into the air.
"CARFUL!" Lincoln manages to catch the fragile replica despite being in a panicked state.
"Pew-pew...?" Leo in confusion wonders what he did wrong.
"Maybe I shouldn't have given it to you since you have no concept of fragility." Lincoln said as he places Leo on the floor.
Next Lincoln shows Leo his coin collection.
"Coin collecting is an awesome hobby, Leo. You collect coins from all around the world, then spend hours of fun carefully organizing them by country and denomination." Lincoln stated as he pulls out the Zloty coin to show his baby brother.
"Who loves a Zloty? Leo does!" Lincoln says as he knows babies like shiny things.
"Eh eh eh." Leo reaches for the coin but Lincoln made sure not to let him have it because Leo would put it in his mouth.
"No no Leo. We don't want you choking do we?" Lincoln warned putting the coin back into the coin case.
Leo being denied what he wanted starts to cry.
"There, there Leo. I know, let's get something to eat." Lincoln said as he picks Leo up and comforts him.
"Hoh." Leo sighs in relief feeling a little better as he rests his head on Lincoln's shoulder.
Lincoln leaves his room while carrying Leo and goes downstairs into the kitchen. He puts Leo on his highchair so he can prepare lunch for him and his brother.
"This is my favorite sandwich, Leo. Peanut butter and sauerkraut. You can't chew it yet, but..." Lincoln cuts the sandwich in half and puts one half into the blender to make it into a liquid paste before pouring it into a sippy cup.
"...you can drink it!" Lincoln gives the cup to Leo who knows how to drink it because it looks similar to a baby bottle.
"Hee hee hee!" Leo giggles happy since he was starting to get hungry.
"Cheers!" Lincoln taps the sippy cup with his half of the sandwich before he starts eating it while Leo drinks from his cup.
"Yum yum." Leo said liking his meal since he has no preferences yet.
"'Burb!', Ha ha ha!" They both belch at the same time causing both of them to laugh.
Unbeknownst to both of them, Lily is watching them from on top the refrigerator.(How did she get up there?)
"Grrrrr." Lily growled seeing her younger brother so happy which is why she's holding a small knife in her pudgy hand waiting for the right time to jump down to stab him.
After Leo finishes drinking from the cup he rubs his tummy while licking his lips.
"Yaaaaahhhhh!" Lily let's out a war cry as she jumps off the fridge.
"Come on Leo. I'm going to show you my comic books next." Lincoln stated as he quickly picked Leo up from his high chair and heads back upstairs not hearing Lily's war cry or even noticing the crash when she landed on the empty chair causing it to tip over.
"Gaaaahhhh!" Lily gasped in pain because she accidently stabbed herself on the chest before dying.
Down in the basement there's a second cloning machine because the family got tired of going into Lisa's bunker to create another clone of Lily. The machine detecting Lily's death activates and in a few minutes a new Lily emerges completely naked.
"GRRRRRRRR!" Lily growls in frustration at dying again.
"Revealing Statement: To tell you the truth, I find it more entertaining that you are aware that you've just died rather than be confused that you ended up here blissfully unaware." Kalashnikov stated as he put a new diaper on her.
"Poo-poo!" Lily angrily exclaimed which translates to "Shut up! You meanie robot!"
"Admonishment: It's not my fault your parents decided to have another baby. It was Master's idea since he was born after five females so logically there'd be another male after anther five females came even though there was a pair of twins." the robot explained as he went upstairs while carrying Lily.
When reaching the kitchen Kalashnikov unceremoniously drops Lily on her tushy so he can clean and dispose of the previous Lily's corpse.
"Mmmmm." Lily whimpers while covering her eyes because she's really unnerved at seeing herself dead.(The first time this happened Lily pretty much screamed in terror shattering her innocent mind. We had to kill her again just to calm her down.)
"Insulting Declaration: What a baby!" Kalashnikov declared while cleaning up all the blood before taking the corpse to deconstruct it so Lisa can use the DNA for more cloning material.
Now that the dead body is gone Lily can get back to trying to murder Leo at least once so he too can know what it feels like to die painfully.
In the bathroom, Lincoln is showing Leo an Ace Savvy comic book while the baby is sitting on the closed toilet seat.
"Okay, Leo, this is my favorite crime fighter, Ace Savvy. And this is an Ace Savvy mobile I made for you." Lincoln said holding the mobile up with pictures of Ace Savvy taped to string.
"Ooooooo!" Leo cooed looking intrigued at the colorful hero.
"Now look into the mobile. You will love Ace Savvy. You will love Ace Savvy." Lincoln whispered soothingly as he spins the mobile.
Leo's eyes start going into what looks like a hypnotic state.(Black and white swirls from the eyes are the easiest way to convey someone is being hypnotized in cartoons. Considering our eyes are just black dots surrounded by white sclera, it's the best way of showing it.)
Yes! That's my boy!" Lincoln exclaimed proudly that Leo seems to be imprinting his interests.
Leo starts swaying back and forth and his face begins to look a little green.
"Uh oh!" Lincoln panicked a little as he quickly picks up Leo, opens the toilet seat, and points the newborn's face down so he can throw up without making a mess on the floor.
"Bleh!" Leo throws up green vomit aka what cartoons usually depict how it looks like into the toilet water.
"I guess we should have done this before the peanut butter and sauerkraut." Lincoln stated as he flushes the liquefied peanut butter and sauerkraut that Leo drank earlier.
Next Lincoln is taking Leo out for a walk and is carrying him with a baby carrier with Leo facing Lincoln.
"Heh." Leo smiles affectionately because he likes to give hugs to his parents and ten siblings.
"Whoo-hoo! Come on, Leo! I can't wait to show you more of my favorite things!" Lincoln declares as he heads off.
Clyde spying from a top the tree in the front yard comes down.
"I don't get it. I've been watching Lincoln all day, and I still don't know what Leo has that I don't." Clyde said in confusion because he doesn't have a sibling as such doesn't know the desire for an actual blood related sibling bond.
"Poo-poo!" Lily exclaims while riding on Clyde's back.
"I don't know Lily. I'm also jealous but what kind of sick, twisted, demented, horrible, and monstrous person would want to harm a sweet, innocent, wide-eyed, precious, and adorable baby?" Clyde asked looking very unsure at the diaper only wearing girl's plan causing her to growl in anger at his question.
"Poo-poo!" Lily shouts pointing in the direction of where Lincoln went indicating Clyde to follow them.
Lincoln and Leo are at the arcade and despite Leo just mashing buttons he's winning tons of tickets from the arcade game. His lime green pacifier to the side.
Way to go, Leo!" Lincoln cheers his little brother since he can use all those tickets for better prizes.
"Hehehe!" Leo giggles cheerfully at watching the flashy colors on the arcade screen.
After spying on them in a toy grabbing game Lily has Clyde tip over an arcade machine to crush Leo under it.
"Well, here goes." Clyde whispers trying to push the machine but since he's a wimpy nerd it's easier said than done.
"Poo-poo." Lily impatiently said while crossing her pudgy arms and tapping her little foot.
Clyde grunted giving a hard push causing the machine to start tipping over towards where Leo is sitting completely unaware. However, the push was still weak and the machine tipped back causing it to started to tip over towards the opposite side where Clyde and Lily are.
"Yikes!" Clyde exclaimed in shock diving out of the way.
"Gah!" Lily who tried to crawl away but was too slow.
SMASH
Lily ends up getting crushed as her blood seeps out from underneath the machine.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!" Leo cries in fright at the sudden loud noise.
"Don't worry Leo. At least you're not hurt. Come on let's go somewhere else." Lincoln comforted as he took the tickets to get him and his brother prizes before leaving.
"Well that didn't work out." Clyde said to himself as he rushes back to the Loud house to retrieve Lily in her next body.
Later on Lincoln and Leo leave a hobby shop where the younger brother got an age appropriate toy plane and his holding it in one hand blowing raspberries to mimic the sound the propeller makes while his other hand is holding his pacifier.
"I'm surprised you already know what a plane is Leo." Lincoln said as he carries his brother while also being aware of his surroundings.
"Donuts! Get your donuts here! Each person gets their first one for free!" Clyde shouts in a fake cardboard stand while wearing an elderly African American mask for a disguise.
"Ooh! I'll have one!" Lincoln excitedly exclaimed taking one with orange frosting and taking a bite.
"How about you young boy?" Clyde asked trying to make his voice deeper offering Leo a donut with lime green frosting.
"Uh uh!" Leo reaches out for the donut with his favorite color on it unaware that it's filled with potassium cyanide.
"No no Leo. I don't care how soft the donut is. You can't eat solid food yet." Lincoln stated preventing Leo from taking the donut.
"Waaaaahhhhh!" Leo cries in sadness at being denied something yummy.
"Your snack time isn't until later Leo. Why don't we get you something else to wear other than your pajamas." Lincoln comforted Leo as they head to a clothing store.
Lily peeks from under the stand and makes angry baby noises at the failed plan.
"I told you it wouldn't work." Clyde reminded though doesn't blame her since Lily is able to eat solid foods even though she has only one tooth.
Lily then sees the poisoned donut and because of her low attention span.
"Dannit!" Lily happily takes the donut.
"Lily! No!" Clyde warned but was too late as Lily takes a bite, chews, and finally swallows.
A few seconds later...
"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Lily grabs her neck gasping as if choking while foam froths at her mouth.
"Geehck!" with one final gag Lily falls on her back dead.
"Why did she choose her favorite food other than pizza anyways?" Clyde wonders going back to Lincoln's house again to retrieve his accomplice.
In the clothing store Lincoln has Leo face a full body mirror which the baby ends up fascinated by his own reflection.
"Heh Heh Heh!" Leo giggles when he touches the mirror with his pudgy little hand thinking he's touching the other baby's that looks just like him.
"That's really cute Leo." Lincoln stated while holding an orange polo shirt just like his own only it's baby sized.
Since Leo only understands the most basic words like yes and no Lincoln had to put the baby's arms up himself in order to put the shirt on over his lime green footy pajamas.
"Let's see if we can find you a white wig." Lincoln said taking Leo as the baby picks up his pacifier on the floor so he wouldn't end up leaving it.
Clyde watches them leave while disguised as a mannequin wearing female clothes.
"Not much we could have done here." Clyde said removing his disguise.
But as Clyde faces Lily she somehow ended up dead on the floor with her head twisted one hundred eighty degrees and is now facing her back.
"How the heck did that happen?!" Clyde wondered in confusion as there's nothing in the store that would caused it to happen in the first place.
At the park Lincoln and Leo are playing chess with some seniors and the infant ends up defeating his opponent somehow despite him being afraid of them at first.
"Hehehehe!" Leo giggles even though he shouldn't understand the concept of victory.
Lily hiding behind a trash bin opposite to Leo with Clyde hiding inside it begins her next plan. Lily had Clyde bring his pet cat Cleopawtra so it can viciously claw Leo to death. Clyde brought the cat in her carrier and placed it on the ground.
"Here we go!" Clyde declares as he removes the lock allowing the cage to open.
"Ga-ga!" Lily shouts pointing at Leo indicating the cat to attack him.
"Rwaaaar!" but Cleopawtra ends up attacking Lily instead viciously clawing her all over the diaper wearing girl's body.
"Amazing! You really are the best!" Lincoln picks up Leo and hugs him for his victory.
"Uh uh." by being picked up Leo is now out of reach from his pacifier that's on the chess table and is trying to get it.
"You don't need this anymore, Leo." Lincoln stated as he takes the pacifier and throws it in the trash unknowingly landing on Clyde's head.
As Lincoln and Leo leave the park to go back home Cleopawtra has had enough of attacking the now dead Lily and goes back inside her pet carrier to take a nap.
"I still don't get what's so great about this baby, but if that's what Lincoln wants..." Clyde's musing is interrupted when an apple core hits his head because he's still in the trash bin.
"Hey! I'm having a moment here!" Clyde yells in irritation before he decides to go home for the day while also knowing that Lily will be back in her home with a new body.
Back at the Loud house, Lincoln and Leo are playing video games with the baby being a great player despite not knowing what's going on in the TV screen.
"Um...what's going on?" Lori asked along with the other eight sisters wondering why Lincoln is giving Leo so much attention.
"You guys never want to do the stuff I like, so I taught Leo to do it." Lincoln replied as his sisters give a shocked reaction.
"Now I won't bother you. Everybody wins!" Lincoln stated as he and Leo defeat the final boss.
"VICTORY! PLAYER LINCOLN AND PLAYER LEOPOLD WINS!" the game declared.
"Yay!" Leo giggles in happiness at being praised.
The girls think to themselves as they're inspired by Lincoln idea while Lily looking from the corner glares hatefully at Leo.
At night in Lisa and Leo's room(Lisa now shares the room with Leo now and everything that once belonged to Lily now belongs him while the only things Lily has are the cage we lock her up in within the usually cold and dark basement and the diapers she wears.), Lincoln is giving a sleepy Leo a bedtime story which is actually an Ace Savvy comic book.
"And Ace Savvy defeated the evil Card Countess. The end." Lincoln finishes his comic book the same time Leo falls asleep.
"Thanks for the best day ever.(Outside of sex with hot chicks.) I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship." Lincoln kisses Leo's forehead before turning out the lights and leaving the room before heading to sleep himself.
The next morning as the tune of Edvard Grieg's Morning Mood plays.(Another cartoon staple.)
"Rise and shine, Leo! We've got a lot to do today." Lincoln said opening the door only to find Leo's crib empty with only the orange polo Lincoln bought for him inside.
"Now batting, Number 2, Leopold Loud!" Lincoln hears Lynn shout outside in the backyard.
Lincoln peeks outside the window to see Lynn training Leo to play baseball. Leo is wearing an oversized baseball helmet and is holding a small plastic bat that he's swinging around like a rattle. Lynn is wearing a baseball glove and has several plastic balls that have a hollow inside and are big enough so that Leo won't put them in his mouth and ends up choking.(Guess she learned from what happened last time she did this with Lily.)
"Here's the pitch!" Lynn softly tosses a plastic ball towards Leo and miraculously he swings the bat and ends up hitting it.
"Way to go littlest bro!" Lynn cheers causing Leo to clap his tiny hands in delight.
"Lynn, what are you doing?" Lincoln asks finally coming down.
"Dude, you're not the only one in this family who doesn't have anyone to do stuff with. Leo's going to be my sports buddy." Lynn answers as she picks up another plastic ball.
"Hey! This was my idea, and I want him back!" Lincoln demanded getting up in Lynn's face.
"You're not his only sibling! He wants to hang with me now!" Lynn pushed back.
"Introducing Luan Loud and her amazing dummy, Lo Lo!" Luan exclaims as she suddenly has Leo dressed up as Mr. Coconuts.
"Say, Leo, who's your favorite singer? Lady..." Luan starts her routine by exploiting the typical baby words that Leo knows.
"Gaga!"
"What's your favorite Hawaiian platter?"
"Poo-poo!"(It's Leo's catchphrase now.)
"Hey! That's no dummy! That's my cleanup hitter!" Lynn declares as she reaches for Leo.
"No, he's mine!" Lincoln exclaims doing the same.
"Give me that dummy!" Lynn demands as she, Lincoln, and Luan start a fight cloud that Leo flies right out of.
"Leo?" The three wonders as none of them have him.
In Lynn and Lucy's room, Lucy has Leo dressed up in a black onesie with black mackup and black nontoxic paint for hair. Leo touches what's on his head getting paint on his face making him giggle as he smears it on the wall thinking that it's finger painting time. Lucy is showing Leo pictures of the ghosts she communicates with.
"This is Great Grandma Harriet." Lucy shows a picture of Harriet as a kid and looks exactly like her.(It's established in The Whole Picture(S2E7B) that Lucy was born with black hair and most likely inherited it from Harriet.)
"And this is Abraham Lincoln." Lucy show a picture of America's sixteenth President.(Doesn't he have anything better to do than talk to mediums.)
"Uh, Lucy...what are you doing?" Lincoln asks because Leo gets scared easily so he shouldn't see ghosts or even be aware of the concept of death.
"I'm introducing Leo to my ghost friends." Lucy replied wanting Leo to know that not all ghosts are scary.
"He already has a friend named Lincoln!" Lincoln declares as he takes Leo back to his room.
"Sigh..." Lucy sighs dejectedly with her catchphrase.
Back in his room, Lincoln wipes Lucy's makeup off of Leo's face and puts on his lime green footy pajamas.
"Black is not your color. Orange is!" Lincoln said as he gets another small orange polo shirt from his drawer.
Lincoln turns back a second later only to find Leo gone from his room.
"Damn it!" Lincoln cursed cartoon logic as there's no way that can happen in actual real life.
In the living room, Lori is sitting on the couch with Leo showing him her favorite reality show.
"Now, Dylan can only pick one girl to spend the rest of his life with. And it'd better be Marisol." Lori explains though Leo doesn't understand at all.
Leo just so happens to blow a raspberry.
"Yeah, you're right. Maybe he will be happier with Tiffany." Lori ends up convinced by the baby's babble.
Lincoln slides down the banister.
"Give her back, Lori!" Lincoln demands even though he should have seen this coming when he explained his idea yesterday.
"Why should you monopolize him? I've literally been waiting 17 years for someone in this family who likes the things I like!" Lori declares revealing that all the Loud girls who are not babies had the same desire for a long time.
"HELP!" Lincoln and Lori hear Leni screaming from upstairs and rush up in panic leaving Leo on the couch.
Leo starts crying because he doesn't like being alone. Thankfully one of the other sisters picks him up.
Lincoln and Lori follows Leni's voice to Lisa and Leo's room and sees her in Leo's crib.
"Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Leo my fashion magazine, but now I can't get out of this baby prison!" Leni cries like a baby while kneeling down and holding the side bars of the crib.(She is technically a toddler mentally.)
Lincoln and Lori sigh in exasperation before they help Leni stand up.
"Upsy-daizy." Lincoln not sounding very motivated.
"There you go, Leni." Lori said while rolling her eyes.
"Agoo." Leni babbled very gratefully.(A hot body with an ignorant mind equals my personal enjoyment.)
Suddenly they plus Luan, Lynn, and Lucy hear Lisa laughing evilly.
In the bathroom, Lisa has given Leo a vial of questionable liquid with a sippy cover to drink while he's sitting on the closed toilet seat.
"Hehe!" Leo giggles wondering what the colorful liquid tastes like.
Leo's about to take a sip but just before he does Lincoln snatches to vial out of his grasp.
"Waaaaahhhhh!" Leo cries not knowing what he did wrong.
Hold it! Are you nuts?!" Lincoln asks incredulously while holding Lisa up from the back of her turtleneck sweater.
"Come on, Lincoln! No one in this family ever willingly lets me do experiments on them!" Lisa defends since she got tired of doing so with Lily.
"Lisa! He's a baby who deserves nothing but love and affection!" Leni sternly stated looking very disappointed at her intellectual opposite.
"I was going to give him a sucker afterwards." Lisa said pulling a lollipop from her pocket causing everyone else present to facepalm.
"Look, everyone just stay away from Leo! He's my little Lincoln!" Lincoln declares pointing to where he thinks Leo is without actually looking.
"Uuuuh..." Lori, Leni, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, and Lisa points so Lincoln can look.
"What?" Lincoln looks at the now empty covered toilet seat to see Leo is gone.
"Damn it!" Lincoln cursed as he should have realized because he doesn't hear Leo crying anymore.
In Luna and Luan's room, Luna with her guitar is jamming with Leo who's banging her drum set with drum sticks in each hand.
"Hahaha!" Leo giggles happily at hitting things and making noises.
Luna getting way too into it climbs up her bunk bed.
"STAGE DIVE! WOO!" Luna jumps down towards Leo who has a bad feeling about this but thankfully Lincoln and the sisters who already had a turn push Luna out of Leo's way.
"WOO!" Luna still cheers not even realizing that she could have severely hurt her baby brother.
"Where's Leo?!" Everyone but Luna wonders because he's no longer at the drum set.
In Lana and Lola's room, Lola is having a tea party with Leo with him wearing a prince crown that normally belongs to one of her male stuffed animals.
"More tea, Lord Leopold?" Lola asks as Leo removes the crown on his head and places it on the table.
"He doesn't want to have a dumb tea party. He wants to play with Izzy!" Lana argued placing Izzy on Leo's head.
Lola: "No he doesn't!"
Lana: "Yes he does!"
Lola: "No he doesn't!"
Lana: "Yes he does!"
Leo begins to tear up because he doesn't like it when his siblings fight and the fact that he's being pulled at by the arms causing Izzy to fall off his head.
Hearing the twins arguing the rest of the Loud kids come in their room with each of them getting a hold of Leo when they're talking.
"Dudes, give him back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!" Luna wanting to get Leo to love rock music.
"He was my specimen!" Lisa wanting to give Leo an elixir that would increase his brain functionality.
"We were talking to Great Grandma Harriet." Lucy wanting to introduce Leo to another member of his family.
"We were playing ball!" Lynn wanting Leo to be interested in sports.
"We were getting ready to take our show on the road!" Luan forgets that Leo doesn't like being around strangers.
"We were going to look at my magazines!" Leni holds them wanting Leo to have more clothes he would like to wear.
"We were watching Dylan's date!" Lori exclaims though Leo would most likely get bored due to his short attention span.
"BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you regifted her brooch, and she's not happy about it." Lucy mentions as Lori gets a look of worry.(Ghosts are real in this universe much to Lisa's chagrin since she can't scientifically explain how.)
"GIVE US BACK LEO!" Lana and Lola shouted trying to grab Leo from Lori's grasp but she's holding him above their reach.
The girls start fighting creating a big fight cloud until Lincoln comes in and grabs Leo.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" the girls rhetorically shouted as they stopped fighting when they notice that Lincoln is sneaking away with Leo.
Lincoln tries to escape with Leo, but Lori stops him dead in his tracks with her palm on his face thanks to cartoon logic.(How else did she end up in the hallway when she was still in Lana and Lola's room a second ago?)
"I'll take that." Lori grabs Leo from Lincoln grasp and runs.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Lincoln chases after her and gets Leo back only for Luan to replace him with Mr. Coconuts.
"Whoops. Sorry, Linc!" Luan runs off down the stairs.
"Sorry, dummy!" Luan was too busy laughing that she didn't notice Leni taking Leo.
"Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na!" Leni mockingly gloats not noticing that Lisa who's in Lynn and Lucy's room grabbing Leo with an extension arm.
"Boo." Lucy said in monotone making Lisa scream in fright causing her to instinctively throw Leo in the air allowing Lucy to catch him.
Lucy walks up in front of Leni who notices her.
"Boo." Lucy said again causing Leni to run away in fright.
Lisa gets Leo back from Lucy only for Leni to intercept her. Luan tosses a banana peel on the floor causing Leni to slip and drop Leo and Lincoln catches him. Lynn intercepts Leo before Lola comes driving in her princess car and runs over Lynn and takes Leo from her. Lana tosses her jacks on the floor and causes Lola to have a tire blow out in slow motion, Lola goes crashing and Lana grabs Leo only for the other girls to catch up to her by blocking her path.
"Dang it..." Lana mutters not wanting to expose Leo to actual curse words.
The girls start another brawl with a fight cloud.
Since the situation is getting out of hand Lincoln whistles loudly getting the girls to stop and miraculously Leo didn't get hurt at all despite being in the middle of it.
"Look! We all want Leo to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Leo choose." Lincoln said as they all look at the baby who giggled happily thinking that they were all playing.
Everyone has come together in the living room for Leo who's sitting on the coffee table to decide which sibling he's going to be with.
"Now, whoever Leo crawls to is the one he wants to be with. Agreed?" Lincoln asks looking at each of his sisters surrounding Leo.
The girls nod and they all take out their items relating to what they wanted Leo to like what they like earlier: Lincoln has his Ace Savvy comic, Lori has the TV remote, Leni has her fashion magazine, Luna has her drumsticks, Luan has Mr. Coconuts, Lynn has her baseball mitt, Lucy has her photo of Abe Lincoln, Lana has Izzy, Lola has her teapot, and Lisa has her elixir as each one of them beckons Leo with them.
Lincoln: "Come on! It's Ace Savvy!" shaking the comic.
Luan: "Wooden you like to be my friend?" using her Mr. Coconut voice.
Lynn: "Low and inside!" punching the palm of the basball mitt.
Lana: "Izzy!" making it look like the lizard is dancing.
Leni: "Look at the magazine!" shaking the magazine.
Lori: "Marisol?" waving the remote.
Lola: "Extra sugar!" since he loves sweets.
Luna: "Walk this way." tapping the drum sticks.
Lucy: "Abe Lincoln." wanting to know more about another Lincoln.
Lisa: "I have more suckers!" promise's his more preferred sweets.
Leo looks back and forth between his siblings and is starting to feel a little stressed over which one of them to be with as he just can't decide because he doesn't want to disappoint any of them. Fortunately for him, Clyde comes in bursting through the front door.
"LINCOLN! You want to hang out with babies?" Clyde rhetorically asks before he tears off his clothes revealing to be wearing a diaper and puts on a bonnet and busts out Leo's lime green pacifier that he cleaned and disinfected.
"Then let's hang." Clyde said as he puts his thumb in his mouth since the pacifier isn't his.
The Loud Kids all gasp at the sight of Clyde(Some things can never be unseen.) and Leo starts crawling towards someone...or something.
"Hey, look! Leo's coming to me!" Lincoln happily exclaims because he's between Leo and Clyde.
"Nuh-uh! To me!" Lynn argued since she's next to Lincoln.
Lincoln: "To me!"
Lynn: "To me!"
Leo crawls passed the two and all the way towards Clyde before reaching for the pacifier in the African American's hand.
"I have something to say to you, Little Mister Friend Stealer!" Clyde angrily declares kneeling down allowing Leo to take his pacifier and putting it in his mouth.
"You are..." Leo gives Clyde an adorable smile that he's unable to resist.
"...absolutely adorable! No wonder Lincoln wants to hang with you!" Clyde hugs Leo affectionately and the baby is no longer afraid of the person who returned his beloved pacifier.
"Clyde, why are you wearing a diaper?" Lincoln asks as he and his sisters are still disturbed.
"You replaced me with Leo, your actual brother, so I thought this was the only way to win you back." Clyde explains though feels rather embarrassed as he avoids looking at Lori.
"Just because I have a brother now doesn't mean that I've replaced you. You're my best friend." Lincoln reassures though deep down he only thinks of Clyde as a sidekick.
"Hoh." Leo cuddles up to Clyde thinking he has another brother and also intrigued that he has darker skin.
"His pacifier...of course! Now I get it, you guys. We can't mold Leo. No matter what we do, he's always going to want the things he wants. Besides, I forgot I already have someone who likes everything I like. What do you say, Clyde? Want to hang?" Lincoln asks feeling guilty(Not really) the he brushed Clyde off yesterday.
"Sorry, Lincoln. Leo and I have plans. Hey, Leo! What has four thumbs and loves milk?" Clyde asks and Leo brightens up at the mention of milk.
"These guys!" Clyde and Leo point at themselves with their thumbs.
"Bobby, does your mom still have that brooch I gave her?" Lori talking to Bobby on her phone worried that her ghost of a relative is watching her.
Lucy raises her head up and smiles, knowing she successfully got Great Grandma Harriet's message to Lori.
While everyone's attention is on Clyde and Leo's new friendship, Lily was setting up a trap ever since she woke this morning after spending another night in her cage down at the basement. The trap just consists of getting her dad's bowling ball from his room in the first floor and getting it up the stairs. Considering how heavy the bowling ball is and how weak Lily is it was easier said than done. Lily looking down to see Leo and Clyde bonding gets very angry.
"Weo, die!" Lily exclaims as she pushes the bowling ball down the stairs intending it to flatten Leo's soft head the same way it happened to her before.
Clyde seeing the bowling ball barrel down the stairs takes action.
"Leo! Look out!" Clyde shouts in urgency as he quickly lifts Leo up as the bowling ball crashes on the spot where the baby once sat making a round dent on the carpet floor.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!" Leo cries in fright at the sudden loud noise.
Everyone looks shocked at the bowling ball's presence before looking up to see Lily at the top of the stairs.
"Grrrrr!" Lily growls angrily at the missing her target.
"Oh my gosh, Lily almost murdered Leo!" Lana exclaims in shock.
"That asshole!" Lola yelled in anger.
The Louds minus Leo who's being comforted by Clyde rush up the stairs and surround Lily looking down at her with disdain.
"How could you?!" Luna asks completely outraged.
"What has Leo ever done to you?!" Luan demands with no humor at all.
"Only crazy terrible monsters would do such a thing!" Lori shouts looking at the thing they no longer see as their sister or even a human.
"Just because the cloning machine can make another Leo with all of his memories intact doesn't mean he should be subjected to death!" Lisa exclaims narrowing her eyes believing that this is a good reason to show emotions.
"Mom and Dad gave you a new baby brother to play with and this is how you thank them?!" Lola questions while crossing her arms looking at Lily like she's filth.
"Lola and I fight all the time but never with the intent to kill!" Lana exclaims in disbelief.
"So you show your true self. A soulless demon who delights in the suffering of others." Lucy stated as even though she's a goth doesn't mean she consorts with evil beings.
"I say we show her what happens when someone tries to seriously harm our family!" Lynn declares while cracking her knuckles.
"Yeah! Something like this shouldn't be forgiven! What do you think Leni?" Lincoln asks because Leni outside of sibling squabbles would never hurt anybody without good reason.
"Hmmm." Leni thinks very hard for a moment.
She looks at Lily who's wailing like a brat who's been denied dessert. Then she looks at Leo who crying in Clyde's arms because everything is new and scary to him.
"Since she can't die permanently, Lily's punishment should be multiple deaths in a row." Leni said finally deciding a suitable punishment for the evil being.
Everyone agrees that Leni's suggestion is a suitable punishment. All except Lily herself.
"NO!" Lily yells in fear as she tries to crawl away.
"Oh no you don't!" Lincoln grabs Lily by the tuft of her hair and yanks her up causing her to cry in pain.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!" Lily cries as she vainly tries to pry her hair from Lincoln's grasp.
Epilogue
Down in the basement, Lincoln has placed Lily inside a large, see-through, and highly durable containment cube that Lisa originally created as a controlled environment so her more unsafe experiments wouldn't endanger the people in the house.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!" Lily cries as she bangs at the see-through door that's been thoroughly sealed.
"Lisa." Lincoln said to the glasses wearing girl knowing what he wants her to do.
Lisa presses a button that's on the control panel with a lighting bolt symbol on it.
GAAAAAHHHHH!" the inside of the wall shocks Lily forcing her towards the middle of the sealed room.
"I've set the computer for lethal experimentation. In other words, the options that will be available are things that will horribly destroy any living thing inside." Lisa explains as options begin to appear on the computer screen.
"Since Leo was the one she tried to kill, he should be the one who gets first dibs." Lincoln declares as everyone including Clyde agrees.
Leo is put in front of the computer screen with a confused look on his face as he looks at the options he can't even read.
"Whoops, I almost forgot." Lisa admits as she makes one more adjustment as each option gets a picture next to them.
"Okay Leo, you get to pick how Lily gets punished first." Lori said while making kissy faces making the single haired baby giggle as he looks at the flashy screen.
Eventually Leo places his tiny hand on a picture with a flame symbol.
"Immolation. The worst way a vampire can die. Good choice." Lucy praises giving a thumbs up.
Lisa inputs the commands on the keyboard as the option Leo chose commences. Lily starts to get really nervous as a flamethrower appears from the ceiling. The sound of a lighter is heard like one would hear when lighting a stove as a flame is made in front of the nozzle where gas will expel out from the propane tank.
"Here's the countdown!"
5
4
3
2
1
0
The nozzle sprays gas causing the flame to jet out in the direction of Lily causing her to be engulfed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Lily screams at the top of her tiny lungs as she burns alive.
"YAY!" Everyone including Leo cheers as they watch what's happening inside of the transparent cube.
"Great job Leo!" Leni congratulates the baby by kissing him all over his face.
"Hehehe!" Leo giggles happily.
Minutes later, Lily is nothing more than a burnt corpse as Lisa presses a button that safely disposes the body inside and decontaminates the room.
"Alright, who's next?" Lincoln asks making the girls argue while Kalashnikov retrieves a screaming in terror Lily from the cloning machine.
For the rest of the day each of the Loud kids and Clyde took turns in how to murder Lily for trying to do the same to Leo.
"All in all, I'd say Leo's first episode was a big success." Lincoln said to the audience/readers while in the background Lily is sliced in half from bottom to top with a laser.
"What to do think Leo?" Lincoln asks as he picks up the baby.
"Poo-poo!" Leo said happily enjoying the time he spent with his ten siblings.
The End
Leopold Loud is an OC character originally made by FirstDrellSpectre and DPSII from The Loud House wikia.
Lily's death: A shit ton of times.
Update to opening theme: "Diapers you can smell for miles,' Instead of Lily waddling with a full diaper, it's Leo crawling with a full diaper. When Lincoln is sliding down the banister, instead of a lavender portrait of Lily, it's a lime green portrait of Leo. When the title appears it's Leo crawling under it and saying "Poo-poo!" while Lily chases him with a knife only to be crushed by a safe.